All language subtitles for kevin can wait s02e19

You got to get the goalie
outta the net.

Darling, we've run out
of distilled water
for the humidifier.

Shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh!

[ Hushed ]
This is important.

More important
than my dry skin?

Yeah.
Now, be quiet.

[ Hushed ]
What's going on?

Dad's watching
the game.

This happens every day...
and twice on Sundays.

Take the shot!
You got to take the shot!

Take that shot!

Just got the alert
on my phone.

Yes!
Islanders are in overtime.

This is great.

[ Normal voice ] Okay,
what weird Gable ritual

am I witnessing.

[ Normal voice ] Okay, if you
ever want anything from my dad,

the best time to ask him
is when a game is in overtime.

He'll agree to anything
just to get rid of you.

Oh! My father
was like this, too,

uh, during, uh, Prime Minister's
Question Time.

Nobody cares, Chale.

-I'll go first.
-No, no, no, no, no.

You went first
last time.

Carrie Underwood tickets,
remember?

Oh, uh, can I
put in a request?

We desperately need insulation
in the garage.

Okay, well, you're new at this,
so you have to go last.

Okay, Jack, Sara,
light this candle.

Ooh! I must admit,
there is an air of excitement

to this scheme.

Hey, Dad,
my field trip's tomorrow,

and I know you were kind of on
the fence about me zip-lining,

so if you could just
sign this form?

[ Muttering indistinctly ]
Come on, come on.

You got to dish
that puck.

Come on.
Dish it, man.

Hey, um, can I have 20 bucks
for some lip gloss?

Yeah. Wallet's on the table.
Come on.

-$40's okay?
-Yep.

You gotta be kidding.
That's icing.

That is icing
right there!

Okay, okay,
I'm going in.

Hey, Dad, can I borrow
your truck this weekend?

My friend Jill is moving
into Miller Place.

Yes. Take it.
[ Hushed ] Yes.

Okay, he is ripe.

Mr. Gable, a word,
if I may?

Um, as you know,
the garage is quite drafty.

In fact, the other morning
I woke up

and I couldn't feel
the tips of my ears --

And there's goal.
Islanders' win, baby.

Whoo!
What's up?

Basically, I request
insulation in the garage.

Mm. Spring's coming.
Suck it up.

What happened?

Too many words, dude.
Too many words.

* I am not your ordinary guy

Alright, Mr. Gable,
cable box is hooked up.

You're good to go.
-Oh, thanks, Chale.

I got to be honest,
neither of us are very good

at the, uh,
technical stuff.

Well, it's just one cord.

You could've followed
the cartoon of the guy

plugging in one cord.

Oh, yeah, that was crazy.

-[ Laughing ] Right?
-Right? Yeah.

We -- We just stared
at that thing,

then we realized it looked like
you, so we -- we called you.

Yeah.
Same little baby mustache.

Yeah, he does.

[ Laughter ]

So freakin' crazy.

It's awe--
Whoa! There we go!

Great. Okay, well,
my work here is done.

Call if you need, say, I don't
know, a light switch turned on.

They can be tricky.

I'm conflicted.

I mean,
Chale did us a favor,

but I still want to punch him
in the liver.

Yeah.
Welcome to my life, guy.

Hey. Whoa! What --
What is this?

Just a little upgrade
to the office.

Okay,
do you not realize

that we haven't had
a new account in months?

Like, we're --
we're struggling.

But people don't need
to know that, okay?

They come in here,
now they see this.

They're like, "Whoa, you guys
got cable?

Whoa, somebody's
got success."

It's good.
It's good.

Isn't that the guy we hate
from Nassau Security?

-Munson?
-America.

Land of the free,
home of the brave.

But is your business safe?

Hi. I'm Frank Munson,
founder of Nassau Security.

When it comes to your safety,

don't monkey around
with the competition.

[ Fanfare plays ]

"Monkey arou--"
That was a direct shot at us.

And did you see
the fist?

That's our f--
He stole our first.

We -- We could sue him.
We could sue him!

Okay.

We can't sue.

We don't own fists.

But now,
it makes sense

why we're not getting
any new accounts.

This guy's advertising,

and we're sitting around
watching TV.

Oh, look,
it's a stupid commercial.

It didn't even land,
so don't worry about it.

I don't know.

Those explosions
made me feel unsafe,

and then Frank's presence
reassured me,

so...I found it
very effective.

-Hey.
-Hey. Hey.

Finally, you're here.
I g-- I got an emergency.

What's wrong?

Somebody spilled hot cocoa
on the remote,

and it's not working.

Nothing's working. Nothing.
Nothing is happening.

Was this somebody you?

Okay, I-I'm not gonna play
the blame game, okay?

Do me a favor,
just take it apart,

and can you
baby-wipe her down?

Uh, excuse me.
I'm looking for Kevin Gable?

-Right there.
-Oh. You got him right here.

Oh. Mr. Gable,
can I, uh,

talk to you for a minute...
in private?

Okay, if this about me canceling
my gym membership --

I did everything I was
supposed to do, alright?

I-I-I-I-I wrote the letter.

I talked to two people
in the front office.

I'm done, okay?

I went there twice
in three years.

You zapped me
for 600 bucks.

Stick a fork in me.

No. No, no, no.
I-I don't -- I don't --

I don't work at the gym.

Um, it's -- it's about
a personal matter.

Oh, okay.

Um, I do work out.
I just -- I just do it at home.

Let's go.

My name's
Anthony Barnes.

You kinda brought me
into this world.

What?

20 years ago, my mom,
she was at work.

She went into
emergency labor.

She said there was
an Officer Gable there.

W-Was that you?

I-I-I-I don't know.
I --

It was at an
All American Burger.

Probably, yeah.

So, my mom, she said everyone
else just stood there

and panicked,
except for you.

Wait a second. Was --
Was this right after Lent?

Yes!
I was born in April.

Okay. I remember.
I --

I hadn't had a cheeseburger
in 40 days, right, and --

and I walked in there
ready to crush it,

and when I got my order,
I hear a lady scream

and I'm thinking,
"Wow, she -- she must have

just got her order,
'cause she's as happy as I am."

But she -- she didn't
get her order.

She was having a baby.
Was that -- Was that you?

Yes! Yes!

And I've been trying to track
you down this whole time.

I wanted to meet you.
-Wow!

Well, this is unbelievable.
Well, tell me about yourself.

Just start at day two,
'cause I was there for day one.

Um, well,
let's see, um...

you know,
Mom was single,

so it was a tough time
growing up, not a lot of money.

Yeah.

She, uh, considered
putting me up for adoption.

[ Sighs ]

But after all those encouraging
words you said to her that day,

she decided to keep me.

-Really?
-Yeah.

Yeah, it changed her life,
and mine.

And I wanted to just, um,
come in here and...

look you in the --
look you in the eye and...

say "Thank you."

Wow.
Things got heavy quick.

Bring in it, little man.
Bring it in.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Yeah, double.

Well, um, it was really nice
meeting you, Mr. Gable.

Um,
I gotta get to work,

but maybe we can see
each other again soon.

Yeah.
W-Where do you work?

Oh, I'm the assistant manager
at the Corn Dog House.

You know what?
I'll visit you next time.

I'll come see you.
I'll come by.

-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
-Great, great.

Hey, thanks again
for everything.

Alright.

-Bye.
-Take care.

Tell me
you heard that.

-Heard what?
-That kid crying in there.

He was telling me
I'm -- I'm -- I'm a hero.

You hear that?
-Ugh, I couldn't hear.

I was baby-wiping the remote,
per your demand.

Hey.
Hi.

Hey, did -- did you just see
that kid right there?

No, I-I didn't.
I was on the phone.

Listen, we lost
the Gillman Hardware account.

They went with
Nassau Security.

That kid had a whole story
about me being a hero.

Okay, are you serious?

I'm telling you
we're losing business,

and you're going on
about some kid.

It wasn't "some" kid,
alright?

I-It was a
beautiful moment.

I'm responsible for bringing him
into the world.

It's a celebration of life.
He's a miracle baby.

Where did this happen?

All American Burger.

You know what?

We're not backing down
from Nassau Security

and their
stupid commercial.

-Yeah.
-We'll just do our own.

Pic-- Picture it --
We all jump out of a plane,

holding hands, like,
in a circle,

and then -- boom -- smoke bombs
explode from our ankles,

spelling out "Monkey Fist"
in the night sky.

-Oh, that's badass.
-Right?! Right?!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kev, that'll make
a great commercial, man.

Look, you get Morgan Freeman
to do the voice-over...

-Can you imagine that?
-...we're all set.

Yeah, baby.
-Yes! Morgan Free--

Oh, great!
So, this is settled.

[ Inhales sharply ]

Are you mocking us?

Yes, I am mocking you.

First of all,
no one knows how to skydive.

Second, it's, um,
I don't know,

stupid
and ridiculously expensive.

Oh, and you wanna set off
smoke bombs at night --

where no one can see it.

I'm sorry.
I thought you said

there was no such thing
as a bad idea.

Yeah, I was wrong.

You know what?
We're just pitching here.

What's the difference,
you know?
I know, but --
Come on. Let's be --

Wow. Sounds like there's
a little trouble
in paradise, huh, guys?

[ Chuckles ] Go ahead, I'm here.
Pick my brain.

Uh, Kyle, I don't know
if you noticed here,

but we got a little
private meeting going on.

So, if you don't mind...

Oh, I'm sorry, guy.

I didn't get the memo
that you bought the place.

Now, I'm gonna exercise
my constitutional right

and sit wherever
the heck I want.

If you get outta here,
I'll buy you a beer.

Done.

Mr. Gable?

If you're looking for
media exposure,

there are ways to go
besides paid commercials.

Like what?

A human-interest story.

Anything.
Anything that will go viral.

Oh. You know what?
He's right.

Wha-- What about that kid that
came to the office yesterday?

Oh, the one I gave birth to
at All American Burger.

You giving birth
would definitely go viral.

I didn-- I-I helped deliver him,
okay, when I was a cop.

Man, he got so emotional,
though.

-Really?
-That was perfect.

I like it. "Cop delivers baby
in burger joint --

years later, reunited."

Alright. Now, I don't
wanna get anybody

too excited about this,

but I do have a friend
who's a producer

at
"Wake Up, Long Island."

Maybe I can give them a call,
get you guys on the show.

Television --
that's a lot of eyeballs.

That would --
That would be amazing.

Uh-oh. Munson's here.
He just walked in.

I'm glad, 'cause I want to
rub it in his face.

Okay, don't say anything,
because we don't know

if we're gonna get
the TV show.

Just don't mention it.
-Relax, I won't. Fine.

-Okay.
-Hey, there, monkeys.

We're gonna be on TV.

Three seconds.
You made it three seconds.

Come on, we both know you don't
have the money for that.

I dropped 10 G's on my spot.
You know why? 'Cause I can.

Yeah? Well, we're gonna
be on real TV --

the part between
the commercials --

the part people
actually watch --

a little show called
"Wake Up, Long Island."

Whoa,
you guys got "Wake"?

-Mm-hmm.
-How'd you do that?

Well, we actually
don't have the show --

No.
Yeah, I'll tell you how.

They heard about a little tale
of a -- a cop delivering a baby.

What's up, man?

Lots of cops
delivered babies.

Mm, not like this.
I'm an American hero.

And pretty soon,
all of Long Island

and parts
of Southern Connecticut

are gonna know
all about it.

Great. I'll make sure
to set my alarm

so I can wake up
and not watch.

Sick burn.
Let's get our garlic knots.

Oh! There he is.

Vanessa:
Oh, that's him?

Good-looking kid.

What'd you expect?

You think
I deliver bums?

Come on.
-Alright, hang on, hang on.

Wait one second.

So, I talked to my friend
at the morning show.

They are all in.

We just gotta nail down
this situation.

-I b-- Trust me, I got it, okay?
-Okay. Alright.

Hey, there's my boy!

Officer Gable.

Oh, hey, please, call me "Kevin"
or "Daddio," whatever.

"Giver of life" --
any of them work.

[ Both laugh ]

-I'm good with "Kevin."
-Okay, cool.

Anyway, um, this is Vanessa,
my partner...

-Hi.
-...and I was telling her,

you know, about how,
back in the day, y-you know,

the whole thing with
where you popped out

of the old baby-maker
and all the that.

Y-You mean my mom?

Yeah. Great lady.
Great. She's great.

Anyway, I was wondering
if you wouldn't mind,

you know,
kind of telling her about it.

-Mind?
-Yeah.

Did you mind bringing me
into this world?

I did not.

Okay.

So, it started out
on a rainy day in 1998...

...and there's my mom,
middle of giving birth,

Officer Gable
by her side.

And any time
she would get nervous,

he would just say
these words to calm her.

It became like
a family mantra.

Do you remember what you said,
Officer Gable?

Yeah, I do.
Yeah, sure.

You wanna say it
right now?

Oh, y-yeah.
Yeah. Let's, uh...

Maybe we should say it together,
you know, just for fun, right?

-Yeah.
-Yeah, let's do it.

"Pain ends."
"Pain ends."

"Quitting stays
with you forever."
"Quitting stays
with you forever."

"Never give up."
"Ne-ver give up."

"Ever."
"Ever."

Yep, that's --
Those are the words.

Mm-hmm.
Powerful stuff --
very powerful.

And you what?

Bottom line --
I wouldn't be here right now

if it wasn't for
this man.

Wow. Oh, man.

[ Applause ]

Ask him.
Ask him, ask him, ask him.

Listen, um, we have this
little morning-show thing

happening in --
in a couple weeks,

and we were wondering if you
wanted to come on there maybe,

and -- and tell your story,

I don't know,
if you wouldn't mind.

We'd get to share our story
with the public?

Yeah.

[ Exhales sharply ]

That'd be like
a dream come true.

Yeah. I would love that.
-[ Exhales sharply ] Really?

You're a real hero.

Um, please accept our
Golden Card of Royalty.

This gets you one free
corn dog a month.

I am very aware of the perks,
and I accept.

And here's one for
your partner.

-Oh, thank you.
-Okay, you don't need that.

What are you doing?

Y-You don't even like corn dogs,
so it's fine.

Actually, sir, that's one
per customer per visit.

I want you
to have this.

Thank you.

Man:
Okay, we're back live in one
minute. One minute, everyone.

Oh, this is gonna be so great
for our business.

What the hell
is he doing?

What's that?

I couldn't find a picture
of you,

so I, uh --
I just Googled "baby."

It's fine.

Looks like one of
the royal babies.

It might be.
[ Laughs ]

It doesn't matter.
No one's gonna notice.

We're good.

Uh, actually,
I think my family would know.

Oh, believe me, if they're
focused on the picture,

you ain't selling
the story.

Hey.
Hi.
Thanks again for being
on the show, guys.

Really excited to hear
all about this.

Yeah.
Well, you know what?

You might wanna
get these ready,

'cause once he starts...

you guys are gonna
be reaching.

[ Laughter ]

Wait, you did remind Kevin
to say "Monkey Fist"

on the air, right?
Yes.

Okay.
I told him
repetition is key.

Good.
For people to retain
your message,

you need to say it
at least eight times.

Wait. No. You didn't tell him
like that, right?

'Cause now he's gonna
say "Monkey Fist"
eight times in a row.

[ Chuckles ] I think
you're underestimating him.

**

Kelly: Welcome back to
"Wake Up, Long Island."

Today is our special
"Hero Cop Day."

That's right,
and we're gonna kick it off

with Officer Kevin Gable,
who 20 years ago

delivered a baby
at All American Burger,

forever changing
both of their lives.

I'm, uh -- I'm just
gonna have to stop you
there, Tom, for a second.

Uh,
technically I'm retired,

so, uh -- I'm currently working
at Monkey Fist Security.

That's
Monkey Fist Security.

Monkey Fist.

Every time I put
my faith in him, he...

It's just best to look at him
like a 5-year-old.

I should do that.
Yeah.

You know, I was so happy
when, uh, Anthony

finally got in touch
with me.

You know, uh, in many ways
it's like, uh --

Gosh, he's like the son
I never had, you know?

-Aww!
-Aww!

[ Laughs ]

Now, I understand you guys
have an incredible story...
Mm-hmm.

...so why don't you go ahead
and tell our viewers

how it all went down?

Oh, here we go.

Well, um, you know, my mom,
she was super pregnant,

and then
went into labor,

and he came over,
and...

here I am.

Is it me, or did that story
lay an egg?

Well, that's a pretty
interesting story.

Is there more to it?

Abs-- Absolu-- You know,
he's just being humble.

Stop being humble. Tell 'em --
Tell them the whole story.

How about when your mother
went into emergency labor

and how everybody
was so scared.

Everybody was so --
so scared.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Everyone --
They -- They were --

They were scared.

This is getting intense,
huh?

Anthony, maybe tell us how
all of this changed your life.

Well, I'm alive,
so that's good.

I guess that's how
it changed my life.

Monkey Fist,
Sunrise Highway.

Well, thanks for
the great story.

When we come back, we're gonna
be talking to --

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
W-W-We can't cut away.

He hasn't told you everything.
What about the, uh --

How your mom was gonna
put you up for adoption?

Oh.
She was gonna -- She was
gonna -- She was gonna --

Remember that?
The story about that?

The adoption part?
Monkey Fist.

Really? Your mom was going to
put you up for adoption?

T-Tell them about that.
It's pretty good.

Oh, yeah.
She was gonna, but she didn't.

She didn't.

Fantastic.

We'll be right back
after these messages.

Guys, uh, can we get, uh,
one more segment, please?

'Cause I promise you,
he's just a little nervous.

I think --
-I'm sorry.

We have to clear the couch
for the next guest.

Next guest?

[ Hushed ] No.

[ Hushed ] Yes.

No!

Yes!

What're you doing here?

It's "Hero Cop Day," and I got
a great story to tell.

By the way, thanks for giving me
the heads-up on all this.

Really?
A kid in a wheelchair?

Yeah.
I gave her my kidney.

I hope that
was okay.

Sweetie,
it really wasn't.

Then they told me that
I really needed a kidney

and we were all
so worried.

And then, two weeks ago,
Mr. Munson gave me his.

That's amazing, Frank.

I believe that only through
giving can one truly receive.

And to help with Tracy's
medical expenses,

we're giving
"Team Tracy" t-shirts

to anyone who donates
to Tracy's family.

And on the back?
Nassau Security.

That's Nassau Security.

Wow! That's a great name for
a company -- Nassau Security.

-[ Laughing ] Yeah!
-Right?

Nassau Security just
rolls off the tongue.

It's almost fun to say.
Nassau Security.

[ Laughs ]
Nassau Security.

-Nassau Security!
-Nassau Security! [ Laughs ]

Nassau Security saved my life.

That was eight.
That's impressive.

Oh, man,
we're screwed.

It is fun to say.
Nassau Security.

Kyle,
what are you doing?

Buying a t-shirt --
Team Tracy.

Well, I must say, Frank,
what you've done is incredible.

-Mm-hmm.
-No.

What she's been through
is incredible.

-Oh.
-Give me a hug, Tracy.

Hey, did you see that?
What?

He just bent over
to hug her.

I thought he had
a kidney removed.

Whatever you're thinking,
don't.

Kevin! Kevin!
Don't.

Please. Hey, hey,
this guy's a --

You're a fraud.
You're a fraud, man.

Kelly: We're in the middle
of a live broadcast.

What's wrong
with you, Gable?

Okay, she might've gotten
a new kidney,

but I guarantee
it wasn't yours.

Hey, you know what? If it
is, let me see the scar.
Let's see the scar.

I don't have to
show you anything.

-Exactly.
-You know what?

Now's a good time to take
a commercial break.

No, don't you do that, Kelly.
Come here. Let me see it.

Show the scar.
Come on.
Get off me!

I just had surgery,
you animal!

[ Groans ]
Oh, oh.

Ohh.

Oh, please,
like I'm gonna fall for

the ketchup on
the bandage thing?

All: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no,
no, no, no, no!

-No, no, no, no.
-No, no, no.

Ha ha ha!

-No!
-No!

[ All groan ]

-Nope. Okay.
-No, no, no.

Okay, that's real.

Monkey Fist, Monkey Fist,
Monkey Fist.

That's 10.

Boom!

I wonder what
he dreams about.

Kevin: Now!

**

* Don't want no sweet perfume

* Shake your thing,
go bust your move *

* Do, do, do, do, do

* Do, do, do, do

* Ohhhhhh, yeah

* Don't want
no high-heel shoes *

* I just don't want no...