Original subtitles

How kind.

How kind you are.

Do you like it?

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It's beautiful.

I feel so....

-What? What do you feel? -Filled up by it.

And ignorant.

-lgnorant that I don't know anything. -But that you want to know.

Keep still.

Look, I haven't got time to keep still.

And it's years since I did this.

I love it.

I'm no good at it, but I don't care.

If you asked me to describe my life and what I've done...

as you did yesterday, I'd have to say, "Nothing much."

I just wasn't there.

I was always too worried about everything...

to live in it properly.

I was a terrible housewife.

But that's what all the women did then.

We weren't like Helen and Paula.

And I just went along with it.

Until....

Until what?

Well, until a few minutes ago, actually.

Looks like we've got a rebel on our hands.

A few years ago...

an intelligent man who lived nearby, he was an antique dealer...

and he started to like me.

And twice he took me into his bed.

-Did you like it? -Oh, yes.

And I planned to go away with him.

I was gonna go to my husband and explain.

I never saw him again.

I couldn't upset anyone.

This cigarette's made my chest all congested.

I can't breathe.

And what would happen if you did breathe?

I'd say:

"Would you.... Would it be too much trouble....

"Would you mind....

"The spare room's....

"Would you come to the spare room with me?"

Would you?

What do you see?

A shapeless old lump?

Oh God, I can't....

Can I do something to you?

I feel such....

I'm sorry, I should have been doing this before.

Do you want to touch me?

You can touch me.

Will you touch me?

If you'll let me.

I thought nobody would ever touch me again...

apart from the undertaker.

-Oh, God! -There.

Hot.

I'm so hot.

I think I'm burning up.

And I'm floating in a most peculiar way

And the stars look very different today

-Hello. -Hi.

-Just getting things shipshape. -I'm so glad you've perked up.

I thought I might take the blinds down. Is that all right?

If you feel like it, yeah.

I heard a song today, at Bobby's.

Here I am sitting in a tin can

Far above the world

Planet Earth is blue

Are you all right?

Calm down, Mom.

Is it because you miss Dad?

No, I just like the song.

Funny that. I hadn't got you down for a Space Oddity.

-A what? -It's the name of the song.

We're gonna have to lay an extra plate for dinner.

Why?

So, what's he been saying?

-Who? -You know who.

But you've left him, surely?

Why do you keep saying that? Repeating yourself like a bloody parrot.

When the time is right, I will.

Well, you know, I didn't really get the chance to go into things.

-You had lunch. -Yes, we did.

He took you out. He told me.

-Did he? -Yeah.

And?

Well, you know, I couldn't just plunge in. It'll take time.

It's a long game. Don't they say that?

Mother, my whole bloody life depends on this.

Well, I don't know.

With men you have to coax, negotiate.

They're like frightened birds. I mean, if you say, "boo," they'll fly away.

-And you're the expert now, are you? -Well, I do know something.

If you do know some things, then why can't you just....

All right. Don't pull me to pieces.

I mean, you've asked for my advice, and that's what I'm trying to give to you.

Hi.

Hi, cowboy.

Hello, cowgirl. Hello, May.

Hello.

-Are you hungry? -Yeah, I'm hungry.

-No wine? -No money.

-That's not an excuse. -It's the only one I've got.

You know, everyone has their story, I guess.

Everyone wants to have their say, or has to have their say.

I want to.

If you've not got that, you know, you just go bonkers.

Anyway, it's self-expression and therapy I'm into now.

You know, I think if I could combine that with the kids at school...

I don't know, maybe....

I don't know, write some kind of textbook thing, you know.

For teachers, like a guidebook, kids with problems.

And that is something I actually could usefully do.

-Everything all right? -Yeah, fine.

It's good.

Is it?

I think it's the best thing I've read that you've written.

-Really? -Yeah.

You should read this out at the group. I think they're gonna like it.

God, I'm so happy.

Thank you.

-Time for bed, Mother, I think, don't you? -What?

Yes, sorry.

-Actually, I think I'll go out. -What, now?

It's all right, I'm not frightened anymore.

-Where's she going? -I don't know.

She's starting to get on my nerves, actually.

Right. Can you read my thing again?

-Again? -Yeah.

I just need you to, sort of, read it a second time.

...come round tomorrow? I'll see you tomorrow?

Yeah, call me at Bobby's.

Love you.

-Hello, dear. -Hiya.

That's cheered me up.

-Hey, May. -Hello.

-What are we gonna have for lunch? -I don't want lunch.

Take me upstairs.

Oh, God.

There you go. There, come on.

That's it. Come on.

That's it.

There you go.

Okay, all right.

I have never done this before.

-ls that good? -Yeah.

-Up you get. -What?

Up you get.

I'm not doing it again. I haven't got the energy to do it again.

I am spent.

What are they?

I've no idea. Found them in Helen's cupboard.

I've no idea. Found them in Helen's cupboard.

Would you take anything?

-Why's that? -I don't know.

I do love these afternoons.

The peace.

You know, my boy Nicky...

he is the most...

beautiful, sweetest, mad....

And you talk to me about Paula and....

I'm just making it up as I go along.

I don't know.

-What do you want, darling? Tell me. -I don't know.

Six months away.

Six months away just to think about everything...

and repair myself.

-Well, why can't you? -Because I haven't got any money.

I work all the time, but I just don't save anything.

It's ridiculous. There's pubs I can't even go into...

because there's big blokes looking for me.

I'll pay for you.

To travel and live.

-Why would you do that? -Well, I want to.

We could go together.

What a stupid idea.

No, it isn't.

Don't you feel terrible about all this?

No.

No, I don't give a fuck what people think.

Me, I just always end up in the shit anyway.

I haven't had enough shit in my life.

My husband always liked me being at home looking after him.

And he hated me having friends, so I didn't have any.

You always do what he said?

It was easier.

We didn't have that feminism then, you know.

I guess some men like their women depressed.

What? What did you say?

Some men, it just suits them to have their woman unhappy.

You know, Bobby's like that.

What, they keep them that way, is that what you're saying?

Lord, I never thought of that.

I spoke to Paula on the phone this morning. She says you've got an admirer.

Yes, the old girl's suddenly in demand.

Would you mind?

You won't like anybody else more than me.

Why's that?

-You know why. -No.

-But we'll see, won't we? -You old tart.

I've never been called that before.

-Did you mean what you said before? -Yes.

Hiya.

Hello.

Bloody hell.

-Come with us, have some beer. -No, thank you.

We arranged to talk about Mother. Mom.

-Come on, I want it sorted out today. -Yeah, all right.

-Save some of that for me. -Yeah.

What's he been saying?

I don't know. At least it's coming along a bit faster now.

I mean about me, not the fucking floor.

How should I know, I'm not the fucking go-between.

I mean, how am I supposed to show the house to buyers...

with the conservatory half-finished...

and him with his ass hanging out of his trousers?

You're selling already?

I mean, you're mad.

-I haven't got any choice. -Why?

Wretched cardigan shop's hemorrhaging all my fucking money.

And, of course, she insisted on opening it...

at precisely the worst possible moment for me.

-I thought you were loaded. -Yeah, so did l.

Well, no one seems to want what I've got to offer at the moment.

-Poor little brother. -Aren't you pleased?

-You've always been envious of me. -I have not. That's rubbish.

It's not rubbish, it's true.

-That is utter crap and you know it. -It's not.

-Have you actually looked at these? -No.

-She's having him. -Who?

Mom. Mother.

What are you talking about? Don't be ridiculous.

No, look at these.

-Oh, my God, it's horrible. -Jesus Christ.

I feel as if I've just had a very hot curry.

-Fucking hell, the old slapper. -My God, it's disgusting.

No, I'm telling you this is fantasy. She wouldn't do this.

Would she?

Oh, my God, if this is true...

your boyfriend's even more of a fuck-up than I thought.

No.

Listen to me, if she's been stupid, all right...

just don't hurt her, okay?

Hurt her?

You fucking idiot.

-I'm off then. -Right.

-Everything all right? -Yeah.

-What? -Nothing.

-I'm gonna go to the pub. You want a pint? -No, I'm a bit busy.

I'll see you then.

Mother.

Mother.

Yes? What?

No, nothing.

What?

Oh, Paula.

What?

You'd be a fool to spend your life beating your head against a brick wall.

Open your eyes. See what else is out there.

Why don't we all go out together sometime?

Who?

You, me, Bruce, and Darren.

No, I don't think so.

What are you doing tomorrow?

-This is lovely. -Yes, it is, isn't it?

It is, yes.

-Eat something, Darren. -I'm not hungry.

Don't you think he should eat something, Mother?

He's a big lad.

So, when are you gonna finish my study?

When I've finished the conservatory.

I wouldn't worry about that. They're selling up.

-What? -Yeah. They're selling up. Didn't you know?

He wouldn't do that without telling me.

There's a lot of things people do without telling each other.

Darren and I are moving further out this year, getting a place.

Lovely.

What's wrong, Darren?

Why would he do that? Why would he fucking do that?

-ls he all right? -Yeah, he's fine.

Why don't you come and see my collection of first editions?

-That's very kind-- -Sounds like a good idea.

Why don't you do that? And we'll see you later.

Why don't we go somewhere else? Let's go to another pub.

You'd like a drink? Well, I've got the car.

Come on, everyone. I parked by the church.

I know what you're trying to do.

It's not far.

Come on, Mother, let's have some fun.

-I do like you. -Good.

-Oh, my God, Darren, look at this. -Come on.

Mom's at it.

Let's just get a fucking drink, come on.

When I lost my wife, I started collecting all the Penguins.

I moved into older books then.

I've got some from the 17th century.

I also collect china. Mostly Clarice Cliff.

You've heard of her?

-Yes, I've heard of her. -You do? That's wonderful.

You know, those '20s and '30s designs, some are very geometric.

Actually, I don't like the geometric ones quite so much.

And some of them are, sort of, rolling countryside...

sort of childlike...

Iike Rupert Bear Annuals.

I'm so sorry. Would you take that?

Excuse me, please. Could you excuse me, please?

It's all right.

Where's Paula?

They don't want us oldies around.

It's odd.

I can feel the world streaming past me...

incomprehensibly as it seems to us at our age.

I feel left out.

I feel stupid.

Thank you.

But she reads all my work, every single word of it.

She's given me something meaningful to do.

She's an inspiring teacher.

-You must be very proud of her. -Yes.

Are you tired?

So much has happened.

And there's so much to worry about.

But I can't go home.

I'm not ready for old age.

I don't know what I want to do.

I do.

Oh no, not in me, please. Please, no.

-Please, just keep still. -No.

That's good.

Paula, let me in.

Paula, open the door.

-I thought you weren't coming back. -Where would I be?

I thought you might fancy a bit of Bruce.

Daughter, don't talk to me like that.

You trying to tell me you didn't do it with him?

-Look, just-- -I know you did.

Please let me in.

Mother, I've taken your advice. I've given Darren a deadline.

I've asked him to leave his wife and come and live here with me.

I see.

He agreed.

-He agreed? -Yeah, he agreed.

He says he will come.

He's gonna go and tell her...

because he's shit scared that I'll go and tell her myself.

Tomorrow, when he comes with his things in pathetic plastic bags...

you will have to go.

We're gonna be staying in a lot, you know. Staying in a lot.

I'm gonna clear this place out.

Mother.

What?

Do you love me?

Of course I love you. You're my daughter.

You must be so pleased about Darren and me then.

What's this?

My work. Years of it.

What are you doing?

This is it. It's all going. Makes a good fire, doesn't it?

-Why? -You told me not to waste my time.

-You did. -I didn't.

-Shit. -I didn't say that.

You told me I'm not a writer. I can't write, I can't do anything.

You should have said "do it," then.

-I didn't say to burn your work. -You said not to try.

All these are plays in here. Every single one of those is a play.

Please, stop. Darling, please don't do this.

Paula, don't.

You said I should be able to get a better kind of a man...

if I changed things.

Everything would be better and bloody different.

A better mother. I don't know, a better everything.

-A better cook.... -I'm sorry.

Just stop being yourself, I think, is what you meant.

It'd be better if I was a different fucking person altogether.

-I think you should go home. -I'm going into town.

No, I don't mean that. I mean...

I think you should go back to your house to live.

I can arrange for you to have counseling if you want.

Is that what people do...

instead of taking an interest in their family?

Look, what you do....

Well, you're more than grown up, that's....

It's none of my business, but I just wouldn't mess with Paula's head.

She can be fragile, you know that.

Okay. And Darren....

Well, he's easily distracted.

You know, he is kind of strange, Mother, really.

Does he know you're selling the house?

And the conservatory he's just done?

No, I haven't had a chance to discuss it with him yet.

I'd look to yourself, Bobby. To you and Helen.

How did you become so cold?

How did you become so hot?

That fucking guy in the newsagent's has done it again.

I can't fucking believe it! I'm fucking standing there....

-What the fuck are you doing? -What?

If this isn't finished by when I said it should be...

-I'm firing you. -All right.

I'm gonna sack you, all right?

What the fuck are you smiling at? You useless git!

Get out!

Get.... Actually, both of you, just get out. Get the fuck out!

Bandersnatch. Yeah.

Fuck.

Hey, how about a bit of rub-a-dub, Mother?

Please don't call me that.

Come on, there's nobody about.

Why don't you just fucking suck it? Come on.

That's it. Here we are.

Be tender with me, please.

I'm always tender with you, my lovely. I'm always tender.

I love it when you're a tarty old thing.

You've got such a lovely wet mouth on you.

Why don't you put some lipstick on and let me shove my cock in it? Go on.

Darling, I'll do anything, you know that, but please talk to me.

Talk. Good.

Yep. We've talked.

Have you really got the money?

Yes, darling. You know I have.

Give it to me then. I'm telling you now.

I'm glad you're in a hurry.

-When will you tell your wife? Tonight? -Tell her what?

About you going.

Tell her what?

Darren, what is it? What are you laughing at?

You know, the money, I just....

How much have you got?

How much have you got shoved in your knickers?

-lt'll be a ticket. -A what?

I said I would get you a ticket.

You won't be able to trade it in. You just get on the plane...

with me.

On the plane, with you?

A fucking plane. I can't get on a fucking plane.

I can't get on a fucking bus, never mind on a fucking plane.

-I mean, what, don't you fucking know that? -How else are we gonna get there?

A ticket. For fuck's sake!

Jesus Christ!

Why does everybody have fucking money but me? Jesus, fuck!

Are you seriously going to let me down...

after all that you've said, all?

Are you consciously trying to fucking hurt me?

You make me want to kill myself. What have I done to make you so angry?

-Hold me. -Fuck off, Paula.

Paula? Don't you even know who I am?

I don't give a shit who you are, woman.

I'm sick of all you fucking women just pawing and clawing me!

Why doesn't someone do something for me occasionally, for a change?

What am l?

Some sort of fucking whore to listen to you and to fuck you...

to make you feel all right?

And this fucking thing, fucking marvelous, yes.

Heart and fucking. Fuck off!

Your asshole of a fucking son....

God, he's up his fucking ass!

Fucking cunt!

Fuck off! Fuck it!

You can have him.

I can't say that I like you very much.

It's not as if you've ever done more than the minimum for me, anyway.

I feel as if I've lost everything lately.

I'm sorry.

Father...

-lover... -Don't.

...mother.

But I am fucking well alive.

And there are things I want to know.

What am I good at?

Is there anything that I'm good at?

What do I wanna do? What do I like?

Well, I'm gonna find out.

Is there anything I can do?

At last.

God.

Yeah. I've been thinking about it for a few days, actually.

I think...

I would like to hit you.

-Do you understand that? -Yes.

Now?

Stand up.

Are you ready?

-That's literally a year old. -It's all very nice.

If you come through here. Now, this may not look like it...

but it's nearly finished.

-Yeah, it'll add considerable value. -I should hope so, after the disruption.

Hello.

God, what's happened?

-What happened? -It's okay. It's not so bad.

We had an argument.

And I've got the message.

I'm going home.

Right.

Oh, Mom.

-I'll give you a lift to the station. -No, thank you.

I'll get the tube.

I mean, you can't mess around for the rest of your life like this...

just going from shag to shag.

I seriously think you need help. Look, I really think....

Unless I'm much mistaken, this door is locked.

Sister, the key please.

The key is lost. The princess has....

Gran, look, I've got a new haircut.

-Bye, Gran. -You going?

-I'll see you another day. -Yeah, bye.

Goodbye.

Bye, Mom.

Come again soon, yeah.

Dad.

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