Original subtitles

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(HORN HONKS)

(CHILDREN SHOUTING)

(HORN HONKS)

(CAR ALARM CHIRPS)

(HORN HONKS)

(MAN SHOUTING)

(HORN HONKS)

(HORN HONKS)

(PIANO MUSIC PLAYS)

Jamie is over and Jamie is gone

Jamie's decided it's time to move on

Jamie has new dreams he's building upon

And I'm still hurting

Jamie arrived at the end of the line

Jamie's convinced that the problems are mine

Jamie is probably feeling just fine

And I'm still hurting

What about lies, Jamie?

What about things

That you swore to be true?

What about you, Jamie?

What about you?

Jamie is sure something wonderful died

Jamie decides it's his right to decide

Jamie's got secrets he doesn't confide

And I'm still hurting

Go and hide

And run away

Run away

Run and find something better

Go and ride

The sun away

Run away

Like it's simple

Like it's right

Give me a day, Jamie

Bring back the lies

Hang them back on the wall

Maybe Pd see

How you could be

So certain that we

Had no chance

At all

Jamie is over and where can I turn?

Covered with scars I did nothing to earn

Maybe there's somewhere a lesson to learn

But that wouldn't change the fact

That wouldn't speed the time

Once the foundation's cracked

And I'm

sun hurting

(TRAFFIC SOUNDS)

(LAUGHTER)

(SCREAMS PLAYFULLY) Jamie... Jamie, wait.

(LAUGHING)

I'm breaking my mother's heart

The longer I stand looking at you

The more I hear it splinter and crack

From 90 miles away

(LAUGHS) I'm breaking my mother's heart

The JCC of Spring Valley is shaking

And crumbling to the ground

And my grandfather's rolling

Rolling in his grave

If you had a tattoo that wouldn't matter

If you had a shaved head that would be coo!

If you came from Spain or Japan or the back of a van

Just as long as you're not from Hebrew school

I'd say, "Now I'm getting somewhere!

I'm finally breaking through!"

I'd say, "Hey! Hey! Shiksa goddess!

I've been waiting for someone like you”

Oh, my God! OK, hold on. Hold on.

What's happening?

I have to... I have to take this in.

You don't understand.

I have been waiting through Danica Schwartz and Erica Weiss

And the Handelman twins

I have been waiting through Heather Greenblatt, Annie Mincus,

Karen Pincus and Lisa Katz

And Stacey Rosen, Ellen Kaplan, Julie Silver and Janie Stein

I've had Shabbat dinners on Friday nights

With every Shapiro in Washington Heights!

But the minute I first met you

I could barely catch my breath

I've been standing for days with the phone in my hand

Like an idiot scared to death

I've been wandering through the desert

I've been beaten I've been hit

My people have suffered for thousands of years

And I don't give a shit

If you had a pierced tongue that wouldn't matter

If you once were in jail or you once were a man

If your mother and your brother had relations with each other

And your father was connected to the Gotti clan, I'd say,

"Well, nobody's perfect"

it's tragic but it's true

I'd say, "Hey! Hey! Shiksa goddess!

I've been waiting for someone like you”

Breaking the circle

You

Taking the light

You

You are the story I should write

I have to write!

If you drove an RV that wouldn't matter

If you like to drink blood I think it's cute

If you've got a powerful connection to your firearm collection

I'd say draw a bead and shoot

I'm your Hebrew slave at your service

Just tell me what to do

I'd say, "Hey, hey, hey...

I've been waiting for someone

I've been praying for someone

I think that I could be in love

With someone

Like you"

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

CATHY: I guess I can't believe you really came

And that we're sitting on this pier

See, I'm smiling

That means I'm happy that you're here

I stole this sweater from a costume shop

It makes me look like Daisy Mae

(LAUGHS)

See, we're laughing

I think we're gonna be OK

I mean, we'll have to try a little harder

And bend things to and fro

To make this love as special

As it was five years ago

I mean you made it to Ohio

Who knows where else

We can go

I think you're really gonna like this show

I'm pretty sure it doesn't suck

(LAUGHS)

See, you're laughing

And I'm smiling

By a river in Ohio

And you're mine

We're doing fine

I think we both can see what could be better

I'll own when I was wrong

With all we've had to go through

We'll end up twice as strong

And so we'll start again this weekend

And just keep rolling along

(SIGHS) Baby, I... I'm so sorry. I can't stay this weekend.

I have this stupid Random House thing, it's tomorrow.

I couldn't get out. (SIGHS)

I didn't know you had to go so soon

I'm so sorry, sweetheart.

I thought we had a little time

I know.

Look, whatever If you have to

Then you have to

So whatever

it's all right

We'll have tonight

Yeah, um...

See, the thing is, I tried to get a plane ticket for tomorrow,

but the only ones available were for tonight.

So, um, you know, I can come back on Monday if you want.

You know what makes me crazy? I'm sorry, can I say this?

You know what makes me nuts? The fact that we could be together

Here together Sharing our night

Spending our time And you are gonna choose

Someone else to be with

No, you are

I'm not... That's not true.

Yes, Jamie, that's exactly what you're doing

You could be here with me or be there with them

As usual guess which you pick

Baby, I have to go!

No, Jamie, you do not have to go

To another party with the same 20 jerks you already know

You could stay with your wife on her fucking birthday

And you could, God forbid, even see my show

And I know in your soul it must drive you crazy

That you won't get to play with your little girlfriends

- You're being crazy! - No, I'm not, no, I'm not!

And the point is, Jamie

That you can't spend a single day that's not about

You and you and nothing but you

"Marvelous" novelist, you

Isn't he wonderful? Just 28

The savior of writing

You and you and nothing but you

Miles and piles of you

Pushing through windows and bursting through walls

En route to the sky

And I

I swear to God H! never understand

How you can stand there straight and tail

And see Pm crying

And not do anything at all

(TYPING)

(PHONE RINGS)

Yeah, hello?

Yeah, this is Jamie Wellerstein.

Oh, OK.

Sure.

Wait, who? Who told you?

Wait, wait, you... you read my manuscript?

But how did you...

Oh, oh, yeah, Professor Adler.

No, no, no, no, that's... that's great!

That's, uh... that's... That's really... It's a second draft, you know.

It's... it's a work in progress, it's getting there, though.

I'm sorry, who... Random House read it?

Oh, my... that's, um...

That's great. That's... Holy shit!

I'm sorry, um, that's... no, no, no, no, no!

No, no. No.

OK. Yes. Yes.

Yes, I'm 23. I'm...

No, I didn't finish, but whatever. That's, uh...

Yes, I can meet you. Uh, New York.

Yes, I'm in New York. Yeah, I live here.

OK. Yes. I mean, I can come today.

Great. Great. Great. Great. Great.

Oh, my God. Uh, OK.

Yes, I will see you there. I am so...

so looking... looking forward to meeting you, Ms. Whitfield.

OK. OK. OK, Linda.

(LAUGHS) We're like friends, Linda.

Uh, OK, great. That's... that's fine.

OK, bye.

(LAUGHS) What?!

(CELL PHONE RINGS)

Hi.

JAMIE: Hey, so I was thinking about what you said.

- Let's move in together. - Really?!

- Jamie, what happened? - I'll tell you later, all right?

Just find an apartment, and I love you.

I... Jamie... Jamie, wait!

Did I just hear an alarm start ringing?

Did I see sirens go flying past?

Though I don't know what tomorrow's bringing

I've got a singular impression

Things are moving too fast

I'm gliding smooth as a figure skater

I'm riding hot as a rocket blast

I just expected it ten years later

I've got a singular impression

Things are moving too fast

And you say "Oh, no, step on the brakes

Do whatever it takes, but stop this train

Slow, slow, the light's turning red"

But 1 say "No, no,

Whatever I do I barrel on through and I don't complain"

No matter what I try I'm flying full speed ahead

I'm never worried to walk the wire

I won't do anything just half-assed

But with the stakes getting somewhat higher

I've got a singular impression

That things are moving too fast

I found a woman I love

And 1 found an agent who loves me

He's like a young Jonathan Franzen.

Things might get bumpy

But some people analyze every detail

Some people stall when they can't see the trail

Some people freeze out of fear that they'll fail

But I keep rolling on

Some people can't find success with their art

Some people never feel love in their heart

Some people can't tell the two things apart

But I keep rolling on

Oh, oh

Maybe I can't follow through

But oh, oh

What else am I supposed to do?

Ooh

Hey, Mike, it's Cathy. Uh, yeah, how are you?

Um, yeah, no, just two quick things.

I'm not going to talk your ear off. Uh...

I just wanted to know if you got

the reviews that I sent you from last summer?

Thank you. Yeah, it's really exciting.

Um...

No, the second thing was just...

if you have anything you want to send me in on,

I'm sort of suddenly... free this summer,

I'm, like, available, so...

Um... Yes.

Yeah, as soon as I'm doing something in the city, I'll let you know.

Uh-huh. Uh...

OK. No, no, no, no, I understand. OK, thanks.

That wasn't... that wasn't too painful, was it?

Right. OK. Um...

OK. Bye, Mike.

MAN: OK, ladies.

Uh... Mariah, Taylor, Rachel,

Lauren and Sophia.

Follow me to the dance audition.

And everyone else, thank you very much.

I dreamed of writing like the high and mighty

Now I'm the subject of a bidding war

I met my personal Aphrodite

I'm doing things I never dreamed of before

We start to take the next step together

Found an apartment on 73rd

The Atlantic Monthly's printing my first chapter

Two thousand bucks without rewriting one word

I left Columbia and I don't regret it

I wrote a book and Sonny Mehta read it

My heart's been stolen

My ego's swollen

I just keep rolling along

Oh

Oh, yeah

And I think "Well, well, what else is in store?"

Got all this and more before 24

It's hard not to be sure I'm spinning out of control

Out of control

I'm feeling panicked and rushed and hurried

I'm feeling outmaneuvered and outclassed

But I'm so happy I can't get worried

About this singular impression

I've got a singular impression Things are moving too fast

Hi, can I help you?

Yes, hi. I'm looking for Alise Michaels.

- Mr. Wellerstein. - Yes.

Hey, I'm Dade, Alise's assistant.

- Let me show you the way. - Oh, great.

- Hi. - Hello. Hi. Jamie.

- Jamie Wellerstein. - Alise Michaels.

It is an absolute pleasure to meet you.

- Wow, this is great. - Have a seat.

Would you like a glass of water?

Yes. Thank you so much for having me.

Everyone in the office is absolutely thrilled to meet you.

JAMIE: Everybody has been so nice, from just walking in the door.

- ALISE: Everyone's a huge fan of the book. - JAMIE: This is beautiful.

- I've never even been this high up. - It's a great office. Yes, thank you.

That's great. Thank you.

One day we 're just like Leave It To Beaver

One day it's just a typical life

And then he's off on a trip to Jamie-land

Staring catatonic out the window

Barely even breathing all the while

And then he'll smile

His eyes light up and deep within the ground

Without a sound

A moment comes to life

And Pm a part of that

I'm a part of that

Next day it's just like it never happened

We're making dinners

We're making plans

Then he gets on the mule train to Jamie-land

Handful after handful of Doritos

Circling the apartment, Logging miles

And then he smiles

His eyes light up And how can I complain'?

Yes, he's insane

But look what he can do

And I'm a part of that

I'm a part of that

And it's true

I tend to follow in his stride

instead of side by side

I take his cue

True

But there's no question, there's no doubt

369

I said I'd stick it out

And follow through

And when I do

Then he smiles

And where else can I go?

I didn't know

The rules do not apply

And then he smiles

And nothing else makes sense

While he invents

The world that's passing by

And Pm a part of that

I'm a part of that

I'm a part of that

Aren't I?

I'm a part of that

(DOOR UNLOCKS, OPENS)

JAMIE: Hey. How are you doing, babe?

You did...

Not a very good day at the bar, huh?

I'm sorry. Did you at least, uh, get some good tips?

- Get any, uh... - (SHATTERING)

- Shit! - Oh.

You look really nice.

Hey, uh, are you working on anything tonight?

- Like what? - You know, your photos? The dress?

Like... Don't you have an audition or something

later this week that you need to get ready for?

- I'm not going. - Why?

Because, I'm not going to get it.

Oh, come on, did you call your agent or anything?

- He's on a retreat. - Retreat?

What the hell is an agent retreat?

I don't know. They go into the woods

and sacrifice actresses to breed more agents.

That's frightening, Cathy.

- (LAUGHS) - I don't make them do it.

Hey, no, look, I have prepared a little surprise for you

in the form of the story.

- No, baby, please. - (LAUGHS) Come on.

- No, I've had such a shitty day. - No, listen...

I've literally been doing this for hours, so you're going to sit up

for, like, five minutes and listen, OK?

You know, if I had known there were going to be this many stories,

- I wouldn't have ever dated a writer. - (LAUGHS) Well, too late.

(LAUGHS) You're going to like it. I promise.

It's a Christmas story. You like Christmas.

I call it the Story of Schmuel, the Tailor of Klimovich.

Schmuel would work till half-past ten

At his tailor shop in Klimovich

Get up at dawn and start again

With the hems and pins and twist

Are you going to touch my dress right now?

Forty-one years had come and gone

At his tailor shop in Klimovich

Watching the winters soldier on

There was one thing Schmuel missed

Are you ready for this?

If I only had time" old Schmuel said

"I would build the dress that's in my head

A dress to fire the mad desire

Of girls from here to Minsk

But I have no more hours left to sew"

Then the clock upon the wall began to glow

And the clock said

"Na na na na, na na na

Oh, Schmuel you'll get to be happy

Na na na na, na na na I give you unlimited time”

- It's a magical clock. - I've never been more attracted to you.

"So Schmuel Go sew and be happy"

But Schmuel said ”No, no, it's not my lot

I've gotta make do with the time We got

Oh, look at the time. It's time to go.

- (CLATTERING) - Here we go.

Why do all my things have to come into this?

Schmuel was done at half-past ten

And he said "Good night, old Klimovich"

Put on his coat to go But then

The clock cried 'Wait! Not yet”

Pretty good, right?

"Even though you're not wise or rich

You're the finest man in Klimovich

Listen up, Schmuel Make one stitch

And you'll see what you get"

But Schmuel said "Clock, it's much too late

I'm at peace with life I accept my fate"

But the clock said "Schmuel! One stitch and you will

Unlock the dreams you've lost"

So Schmuel, with reluctance, took his thread

He pulled a bolt of velvet and he said

"I should take out my teeth and go to bed

I'm sitting here with talking clocks

Instead"

And the clock said "Na na na na, na na na

Oh, Schmuel you'll get to be happy”

And then they dance.

Na na na na, na na na

No. No, thank you.

Come on!

Na na na na, na na na

"Just do it and you can be happy”

So Schmuel put the thread through the needles eye

And the moon stared down from a starless sky

And he pushed the thread through the velvet black

And he looked, and the clock was turning back

So he grabbed his shears and he cut some lace

As the hands reversed on the old clock's face

And his fingers flew and the fabric swirled

It was 9:15 all around the world

Every out and stitch was a perfect fit

As if God Himself were controlling it

And Schmuel cried through a rush of tears

"Take me back

Take me back all 41 years"

(SIGHS)

And on it went

Down that silent street

Till Schmuel's dress

Was at last complete

And he stretched his arms

And he closed his eyes

And the morning sun

Finally started

To rise

And the dress he made on that endless night

Was a dress that would make any soul take flight

Not a swatch, not a skein had gone to waste

Every ribbon and button ideally placed

And sewn into the seams

Were 41 seasons of dreams

Dreams that you could feel

Coming real

Come on.

And that very dress so the papers swore

Was the dress a girl in Odessa wore

On the day she promised forevermore

To love a young man named Schmuel

Who only one day before

Had knocked at her kitchen door

Thank you.

That was pretty long, but it was fun.

Oh, it's not over yet.

Plenty have hoped and dreamed and prayed

But they can't get out of Klimovich

If Schmuel had been a cute goyishe maid

He'd have looked a lot like you

- Sorry, I'm Schmuel in this story!? - Oh, yeah.

I'm not the girl from Odessa?

Maybe it's just that you're afraid to go out

On to a limb... ovich

Uh...

Maybe your heart's completely swayed

But your head can't follow through

But shouldn't I want the world to see

The brilliant girl who inspires me?

Don't you think that now's a good time to be

The ambitious freak you are?

Say goodbye to wiping ashtrays at the bar

Come on.

Say hello to Cathy Hiatt

A big-time star

Ah!

'Cause I say

"Na na na na, na na na na

Cathy, you get to be happy

Na na na na, na na na I give you unlimited time

Na na na na na na na Stop temping and go, go be happy"

Here's a headshot guy and a new Backstage

Where you're right for something on every page

Take a breath Take a step

Take a chance

Take your time

Have I mentioned today

How lucky I am

To be in love

With you

(STRUMMING GUITAR)

Hi.

I could have a mansion on a hill

I could lease a villa in Seville

But it wouldn't be as nice as a summer in Ohio

With a gay midget named Karl

Playing Tevye and Porgy

(LAUGHS) God... Wow.

I could wander Paris after dark

Take a carriage ride through Central Park

But it wouldn't be as nice as a summer in Ohio

Where I'm sharing a room with a former stripper and her snake

- I love you. - Wayne.

Oh, my God!

I could have a satchel

Full of dollar bills

Cures for all the nation's ills

Oh!

Pills to make a lion purr

I could be in line to be the British queen

Look like I was 17

Wow.

Still I'm certain I'd prefer

To be going slowly batty

Forty miles east of Cincinnati

I could shove an ice pick in my eye

I could eat some fish from last July

But it wouldn't be as awful as a summer in Ohio

Without cable, hot water

Vietnamese food or you

Oh, baby, I love you.

I saw your book at a Target

In Kentucky under a sign that said "new and recommended"

I stole a look at your picture on the inside sleeve

And then I couldn't leave

Richard, who was with me got uncharacteristically quiet

And he said, "All things considered, I guess you don't have to buy it”

So I smile like Mona Lisa and I lay my Visa down

He wants me He wants me

But he ain't gonna get me

Damn right!

I've found my guiding light

I tell the stars each night

Look at me Look at him

Son of a bitch, I guess Pm doing something right

I finally got something right

No, it's not Nirvana but it's on the way

I play Anita at the matinee

Then H! get on my knees and pray

I can state in my next bio

I'm never gonna go back to Ohio

I could chew on tin foil for a spell

I could get a root canal in hell

But it wouldn't be as swell

As this summer is gonna be

'Cause the torture is just exquisite

While Im waiting for you to visit

So hurry up, schmuck

Get unstuck and get on the scene

Love the midget, the stripper,

Wayne the snake and Mrs. Jamie Wellerstein

That's me

JAMIE: No, that one's Jerry Seinfeld

That one's John Lennon there

No, the Dakota

The San Remo is up a few blocks

Have you been inside the museum?

We should go

Meet the dinosaurs

Cathy

Will you share your life with me

For the next ten minutes?

For the next ten minutes

We can handle that

We could watch the waves

We could watch the sky

Or just sit and wait

As the time ticks by

And if we make it til! then

Could I ask you again

For another ten?

And if you in turn agree

To the next ten minutes

And the next ten minutes

Till the morning comes

Then just holding you

Might compel me to

Ask you for more

There are so many lives I want to share with you

I will never be complete

Until I do

I am not always on time

Please don't expect that from me

I will be late But if you can just wait

I will make it eventually

Not like it's in my control

Not like I'm proud of the fact

But anything other than being exactly on time

I can do

I don't know why people run

I don't know why things fall through

I don't know how anybody survives in this life

Without someone like you

I could protect and preserve

I could say no and goodbye

But why, Jamie?

Why?

I want to be your wife

I want to bear your child

I want to die, knowing I

Had a long, full life

in your arms

That I can do

- Forever, with you - Will you share your life with me?

- Forever - For the next ten lifetimes?

- Forever, Jamie - For a million summers?

BOTH: Till the world explodes

Till there's no one left

Who has ever known us apart

There are so many dreams I need to see with you

There are so many years I need to be with you

I will never be complete

I will never be alive

I will never change the world

Until I do

do

I

Do

(APPLAUSE, CHEERING)

CATHY: Is that one John Lennon?

That's the San Remo?

Isn't that the museum?

Can we go see the dinosaurs?

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Thank you.

Are you kidding me? (LAUGHS)

Everyone tells you that the minute you get married

Every other woman in the world suddenly finds you attractive

Well, that's not true

It only affects the kind of women you always wanted to sleep with

But they wouldn't give you the time of day before

And now they're banging down your door, and falling to their knees

At least that's what it feels like because you can not touch them!

In fact, you can't even look at them

Close your eyes Close your eyes

Close your eyes

Except you're sitting there eating your corned beef sandwich

And all of a sudden, this pair of breasts walks by

And smiles at you and you're like,

"That's not fair"

And in a perfect world

A miracle would happen

And every other girl would fly away

And it'd be me and Cathy and nothing else would matter

But it's fine, it's fine, it's fine, I mean, I'm happy

And I'm fine, I'm fine I'm fine, it's not a problem

It's just a challenge It's a challenge to resist

Temptation

And I have to say that what exacerbates the problem

ls I'm at these parties I'm the center of attention

I'm the grand fromage And here she comes

"Let's get a cup of coffee Will you look at my manuscript?"

And I'm showing her my left hand, I'm gesticulating with my left hand

And then, whoa! There's Cathy! Because she knows, they always know

And there's that really awkward moment

Where I try to show I wasn't encouraging this

Which of course I was

And I don't want to look whipped in front of this woman

Which is dumb, I shouldn't care what she thinks since I can't touch her anyway!

And in a perfect world, a miracle would happen

And every girl would look like Mister Ed

And it'd be me and Cathy and nothing else would matter

But it's fine, it's fine, it's fine You know I love her

And it's fine, it's fine, it's fine it's what I wanted

And I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine It's not a problem

It's just a challenge It's a challenge to resist

Temptation

Hi, Mr. Wellerstein. I'll let Alise know you're here.

CATHY: When you come home to me

I'll wear a sweeter smile

And hope that, for a while, you'll stay

When you come home to me

Your hand will touch my face

And banish any trace of gray

Soon, a love will rise anew

Even greater than the joy I felt

Just missing you

And once again, H! be

So proud to call you mine

When finally you come home

To me

- That was lovely. - Really great.

- Thank you. - Thank you. OK.

No, it went really, really well. Yeah.

No, I think I got it.

I mean, I hope. Yeah. It's off Broadway, so...

Please, God, no more Ohio. (LAUGHS)

Um, I don't where I'm walking, actually.

- You have to come find me. - (JAMIE LAUGHS)

I'll be there soon, Cathy

I'll finish up this chapter and be out the door

I swear I'll be there soon, Cathy

Don't give up on me yet

I am so proud of you, baby

You're doing what you never got to do before

And I will be there ripe and crawling

If frigging Random House stops calling

Don't lose faith Don't get down

Don't despair

I'll be there

And in a perfect world

A miracle would happen

And that day would finally be here

And it'd be me and you

Riding it together

And the things we do going like we planned

We're gonna make it through

And nothing else will matter

We'll be fine We're fine

We're fine We're fine

We're fine We're fine, we're fine

I'll be there soon, Cathy

I swear I will

When you come home to me

I'll wear a sweeter smile

And hope that for a while you'll...

OK. Thank you.

I'm climbing uphill, Jamie

Climbing uphill

I'm up every morning at six

And standing in line with 200 girls

Who are younger and thinner than me

Who have already been to the gym

I'm waiting five hours in line

And watching the girls just coming and going

In dresses that look just like this

WOMAN: Cathy Hiatt.

Until my number is finally called

When I walk in the room, there's a table of men

Always men, usually gay

Who've been sitting like I have and listening ail day

To 200 girls belting as high as they can

I am a good person

I'm an attractive person

I am a talented person

Grant me grace

When you come home

I should have told them I was sick last week

They're gonna think this is the way I sing

Why is the pianist playing so loud'?

Should I sing louder? I'll sing louder

Maybe I should stop and start over

I'm gonna stop and start over

Why is the director staring at his crotch?

Why is that man staring at my resume?

Don't stare at my resume

I made up half of my resume Look at me

Stop looking at that Look at me

No, not at my shoes Don't look at my shoes

I hate these stupid shoes

Why did I pick these shoes

Why did I pick this song?

Why did I pick this career?

Why?

Does this pianist hate me?

If' I don't get a callback

I can go to Crate and Barrel with mom and buy a couch

Not that I want to spend a day with mom

But Jamie needs space to write

Since I'm obviously such a horrible

Annoying distraction to him

What's he gonna be like when we have kids?

And once again

Why am I working so hard?

These are the people who cast Russell Crowe in a musical

Jesus Christ, I suck I suck, I suck

When finally you come home...

MAN: Thanks. That's great.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

(APPLAUSE)

Thank you.

Thank you. Thanks very much.

(JAMIE SIGHS)

"He touched the wall and decided he had had enough.

He was exhausted, first of all, and he could feel it:

his lungs were throbbing and heavy,

and his left arm was stinging from the shoulder right down to his wrist.

Besides that, seven laps in and the water was still freezing cold,

and if he wanted to be honest about it, he felt foolish.

A ghost-pale graceless thing flapping about frantically,

desperately trying to keep pace with the mermaid in the next lane.

He watched her. He watched her back stretching,

watched how she seemed to ride the water.

He didn't recognize the fierceness in her brow..."

I will not be the girl stuck at home in the 'burbs

With the baby, the dog and a garden of herbs

I will not be the girl in the sensible shoes

Pushing burgers and beer nuts and missing the clues

I will not be the girl who gets asked how it feels

To be trotting along at the genius's heels

I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by

And I

"He recognized her... 'I see you.'

Her clenched jaw, her sharp turns away from him.

'You don't have to let me win, ' she had been screaming,

but he couldn't hear it at all."

(APPLAUSE)

- Ouch. (LAUGHS) - I'm so proud of you!

Beautiful. From Random House, David.

- Oh, David. - And Kathryn Marrow.

And this is his agent, Mrs. Whitfield.

Hello. A pleasure to meet you. Hello, hello. A pleasure to meet you.

MRS. WHITFIELD: Wasn't he wonderful?

CATHY: And I've been to every one of them. I've been to so many.

(JAMIE ARGUING, OVERLAPPING)

And the same thing happens, I'm basically your waitress for the evening,

I'm bringing you drinks. I get asked if I'm your publicist,

because everybody asks me to take pictures of you on their phone,

and these people, they ask me the same things every time.

"How did you and Jamie meet? What's Jamie like?"

JAMIE: Baby, I'm so sorry they ask you the same questions.

No one would notice if I didn't go. You beg me to go and you abandon me

and I stand by the bar all night and I'm drinking!

I'm holding my purse and I'm waiting for somebody to come talk to me.

- You certainly don't talk to me! - Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

God, just stop and listen to me!

Can we just, for, like, two minutes,

have a conversation without you contradicting everything I say?

Two minutes!

And then fine, you can say whatever you want.

OK, look, there are people...

And they are publishing my book.

And there's a party that they are throwing.

And while you've made it very clear that you're not going,

I will be going.

And that's done.

But what's it really about?

Is it really about a party, Cathy?

Can we please, for a minute, stop blaming

And say what you feel?

Is it just that you're disappointed

To be going again to Ohio?

Did you think this would all be much easier

Than it's turned out to be?

Well, then talk to me, Cathy

Talk to me

If' I didn't believe in you

We'd never have gotten this far

If I didn't believe in you

And all of the 10,000 women you are

If I didn't think you could do

Anything you ever wanted to

If I wasn't certain that you'd come through somehow

The fact of the matter is, Cathy

I wouldn't be standing here now

If I didn't believe in you

We wouldn't be having this fight

If I didn't believe in you

I'd walk out the door and say, 'Cathy, you're right"

But I never could let that go

Knowing the things about you I know

Things, when I met you four years ago

I knew

it never took much convincing

To make me believe in you

Don't we get to be happy, Cathy?

At some point down the line

Don't we get to relax

Without some new tsuris

To push me yet further from you?

And if I'm cheering on your side, Cathy

Why can't you support mine?

Why do I have to feel I've committed some felony

Doing what I always swore I would do?

I don't want you to hurt

Hey, hey.

I don't want you to sink

But you know what I think?

I think you'll be fine

Just hang on and you?! see

But don't make me wait till you do to be happy with you

Will you listen to me?

No one can give you courage

No one can thicken your skin

I will not fail so you can be comfortable, Cathy

I will not lose because you can't win

If I didn't believe in you

And, and here's where the travelogue ends

If I didn't believe in you

I couldn't have stood before all of our friends

And said "This is the life I choose

This is the thing I can't bear to Jose

Trip us or trap us but we refuse to fall"

That's what I thought we agreed on

Cathy

If I hadn't believed in you

I wouldn't have loved you at all

Baby.

Baby, just... just please, put on your dress,

and we'll go to this stupid party.

And we... Can you just do that for me, Cathy, please?

Cathy? Where are you going?

Cathy? Cathy?!

Cathy! Stop!

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS)

JAMIE: Uh, you know they're gonna love me.

CATHY: I'm sure they will.

Come on.

JAMIE: Hello, Mr. Hiatt.

Uh, may I please have pre-marital sex with your daughter? Thank you.

- Oh, my God! - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(CHATTERING CONTINUES)

My best friend had a little situation

At the end of our senior year

And like a shot she and Mitchell got married that summer

Ugh.

Carol Ann getting bigger every minute

Thinking "What am 1 doing here?"

While Mitchell's out every night being a heavy-metal drummer

They got a little cute house on a little cute street

With a crucifix on the door

Mitchell got a job at a record store in the mall

Just the typical facts of a typical life

In a town on the Eastern Shore

I thought about what I wanted

It wasn't like that at all

Made Carol Ann a cute baby sweater

Thinking I can do better than that

- Ow! - Please just drive. Please just drive!

(LAUGHS)

In a year or so I moved to the city

Thinking "What have I got to lose?"

Got a room, got a cat and got 20 pounds thinner

Met a guy in a class I was taking with some very welt placed tattoos

He wouldn't leave me alone 'less I went with him to dinner

And I guess he was cute and I guess he was sweet

And I guess he was good in bed

I gave up my life for a better part of a year

So I'm starting to think that this maybe might work

And the second it entered my head

He needed to take some time off

Focus on his career

He blew me off with a heartfelt letter

I thought, "I can do better than that"

You don't have to get a haircut

You don't have to change your shoes

You don't have to like Duran Duran

Just one song!

Just love me

You don't have to put the seat down

You don't have to watch the news

You don't have to learn to tango

You don't have to eat prosciutto

You don't have to change a thing

Just stay with me

I want you and you and nothing but you

Miles and piles of you

Finally, I'll have something worthwhile

To think of each morning

You and you and nothing but you

No substitution will do

Nothing but fresh undiluted and pure

Top of the line

And totally mine

I don't need any lifetime commitments

I don't need to get hitched tonight

I don't want you to throw up all your walls and defenses

I don't mean to put on any pressure

But I know when a thing is right

And I spend every day reconfiguring my senses

When we get to my house take a look at that town

Take a look at how far I've gone

I will never go back Never look back anymore

And it feels like my life led right to your side

And will keep me there from now on

Think about what you wanted

Think about what could be

Think about how I love you

And say you'll move in with me

Think of what's great about me and you

Think of the bullshit we've both been through

Think of what's past because we can do better

We can do better

We can do better than that

We can do better than that

Hey, kid

Good morning

You look like an angel

I don't remember

When we fell asleep

We should get up, kid

Cathy is waiting

Look at us, lying here

Dreaming, pretending

I made a promise

And I took a vow

I wrote a story

And we changed the ending

Cathy, just look at me now

Hold on

Facts are facts

Just relax

Lay low

All right

The panic recedes

Nobody needs

To know

Hmm

Put on my armor

I'm off to Ohio

Back into battle

Till I don't know when

Swearing to her that I

Never was with you

And praying

I'll hold you again

Hold on

Clip these wings

Things get out of hand

All right

It's over It's done

No one will understand

No one will understand

We build a tree house

I keep it from shaking

Little more glue every time that it breaks

Perfectly balanced

And then I start making

The conscious

Deliberate mistakes

All that I ask for

ls one little corner

One private room

At the back of my heart

Tell her I found one

She sends out battalions

To claim it

And blow it apart

I grip and she grips

And faster we 're sliding

Sliding and spilling

And what can I do?

Come back to bed, kid

Take me inside you

I promise

I won't lie to you

Hold on

Don't cry yet

I won't let you go

All right

The panic recedes

All right

Everyone bleeds

All right

I get what I need

And nobody needs

To know

Nobody needs

To know

And since I have to be in love with someone

Since I need to be in love with someone

Maybe I could be in love with someone

Like you

Don't kiss me goodbye again

Leave this night clean and quiet

You want the last word

You want me to laugh

But leave it for now

All you can say All you can feel

Was wrapped up inside that one perfect kiss

Leave it at that

I'll watch you tum the corner and go

And goodbye until tomorrow

Goodbye until the next time you call

And I will be waiting

I will be waiting

Goodbye until tomorrow

Goodbye till I recall how to breathe

And I have been waiting

I have been waiting for you

I stand on a precipice

I struggle to keep my balance

I open myself

I open myself one stitch at a time

Finally yes Finally now

Finally something takes me away

Finally free

Finally he can cut through these strings

And open my wings

So goodbye until tomorrow

Goodbye until my feet touch the floor

And I will be waiting I will be waiting

Goodbye until tomorrow

Goodbye until the rest of my life

And I have been waiting

I have been waiting for you

Waiting for you

I called Alise to help me pack my bags

I went downtown and closed the bank account

It's not about another shrink

It's not about another compromise

I'm not the only one who's hurting here

I don't know what the hell is left to do

You never saw how far the crack had opened

You never knew I had run out of rope

And I could never rescue you

All you ever wanted

But I could never rescue you

No matter how I tried

All I could do

Was love you hard

And let you go

No matter how I tried

All I could do

Was love you

God, I loved you so

So we could fight

Or we could wait

- Or I could go - Goodbye until tomorrow

Goodbye until I crawl to your door

And 1 will be waiting

I will be waiting

You never noticed how the wind had changed

Goodbye until tomorrow

I didn't see a way we both could win

Goodbye until I'm done thanking God

And I have been waiting

I have been waiting for you

Goodbye, Cathy

I have been waiting

I have been waiting for you

Goodbye

I will keep waiting

I will keep waiting for you

Just close the gate

I'll stand and wait

Jamie

- Goodbye - Goodbye

(SOFT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS)

Improved By: Fidel33