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Previously on "Splitting Up Together"...
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- We're pulling the plug.
- And the kids know,
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00:00:03,724 --> 00:00:04,959
and they're okay.
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00:00:04,965 --> 00:00:07,316
And things really aren't
gonna be that different.
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The on-duty parent will live in here,
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00:00:10,101 --> 00:00:12,278
taking care of the kids,
living a rich, full life.
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That's right. And the off-duty
parent will be living right
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here in the garage.
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I don't want Lena dating again.
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- I want her back together with Martin.
- We haven't had sex in two years.
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Let me give you my card, here.
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00:00:25,203 --> 00:00:27,599
Are you... sending out vibes?
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- Vibes?
- Are we vibing?
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_
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Okay, so, Milo has a
book report due Monday,
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Mason needs to practice piano.
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At least an hour... that was the deal.
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- Okay.
- And Mae needs to take vitamin D.
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The doctor said she's deficient.
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There's some on the
counter by the microwave.
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She's deficient?
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How's that even possible? We
live in Southern California.
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Have you met Mae?
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What are you doing?
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Taking the comforter
with me to the garage.
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00:00:56,338 --> 00:00:58,916
Um, no, you're not.
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I just spent a week in
solitary confinement.
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00:01:01,410 --> 00:01:03,280
I've been looking forward to a real bed,
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complete with the
comfort of a comforter.
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Ooh! It's so cozy!
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You don't even care about blankets.
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- You kick them off at night.
- Yeah, but one has to be there
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in order for me to kick it off.
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And don't tell me that
I can kick off a quilt,
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because I've tried it,
sister. It didn't work!
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Uh, I'll get you a different blanket!
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- You're ridiculous.
- You're ridiculous!
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That comforter is property
of the master bedroom.
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Whoever sleeps here gets to enjoy
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full custody of that
blanket and the children.
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- Come here!
- Hey! Hey! Hey!
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- Stop it! Martin!
- Rahh! Ow!
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It wasn't always like this.
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When things were good,
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we slept under the same blanket.
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But once you introduce that
crappy second blanket, boy...
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Yeah, the marriage
is pretty much over.
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God!
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- Oh! Fine!
- Ow!
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- Uh!
- Let the baby have his blankie.
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Sank you!
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Hey.
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I'm sorry. I'll see you next week.
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- Thank you. I appreciate the...
- I was talking to the blanket.
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♪ Keep giving me hope for a better day ♪
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♪ Keep giving me love to find a way ♪
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♪ Through this heaviness I
feel I just need someone ♪
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- ♪ To say everything's okay ♪
- Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com -
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- ♪ Everything's okay ♪
- Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com -
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You ready to die?
You ready to die?
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- I surrender! I surrender!
- Gonna cry? Oh, you surrender?
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Oh, are you gonna
cry? Are you gonna cry?
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Do I need to get you
a crying bikini, huh?
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- Sexist.
- Ow! Ow!
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Beg pardon?
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You're a cisgendered sexist,
and you're raising two more
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by continuing to perpetuate
negative stereotypes.
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- Wha?
- "Crying bikini"?
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Because that's what girls
wear, and only girls cry?
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No, no, no. The crying bikini is a...
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it's a unisex garment, right?
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Oh, come on.
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Come on. I'm not sexist.
I'm your dad. I...
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always treated you
kids exactly the same.
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Really?
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Because you never wrestle with me.
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You want to wrestle?
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- Sure.
- Aww, she's gonna get it.
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- You asked for it. Rah! Uh!
- Oof!
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- Ooh!
- Oh, my God.
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- Oh, my God. Are you okay, honey?
- I'm okay.
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She just stood there like a drunk.
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- Is it over?
- Well, I mean, it can be.
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Technically, you're supposed
to, you know, struggle now,
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- try to get free.
- He's not even torturing her.
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Come on, Dad. What
about the rib cruncher?
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Yeah. That's your signature move.
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You want your ribs... crunched?
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Why not?
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Okay. Ah! The rib
cruncher... crunchin'...
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G-g-g-g-g... uh!
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She's impervious.
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Okay, that's it. We're done.
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Wrestling's over. Come on. Everyone. Go.
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- Aw.
- Go. Go read a book.
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No fair. Girls ruin everything.
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Hey, hey. Milo, get
over here. Come here.
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Come here.
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Don't say, "Girls ruin everything."
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It-it's not cool to
generalize about all girls.
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Say, "Mae ruins everything."
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I appreciate that.
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I'm sorry. Is it, like,
really damp in here?
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It is. Here.
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This should help.
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Huh. Look at those guys.
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00:04:20,966 --> 00:04:22,902
- Are those...
- Centipedes, yeah.
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I've come to know
their habits quite well.
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They are a moisture-loving lot.
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But these boys flew a little
too close to the sun, am I right?
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- I'm sorry.
- What is it?
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I just hate seeing you like this?
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Like what? I'm happy.
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- You can't be.
- But I am.
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Camille, this is not that bad.
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And besides, it's only for a week.
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Actually, it's 26 weeks, if
the arrangement lasts a year.
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Well, I could see it
lasting more than a year.
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Honestly, I look forward
to my garage weeks.
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00:04:52,775 --> 00:04:55,691
This is my time to focus on myself.
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I had an epiphany last
week in the main house.
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You know how our shower
has that great big skylight?
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- No.
- Well, it does.
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00:05:04,446 --> 00:05:07,034
And I always insisted
that we never open it
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because of the squirrels
that run across our roof.
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It drove Martin crazy.
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He said, "What's the
point of having a skylight
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if we never get to open it?"
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00:05:16,053 --> 00:05:17,853
I had a head full of shampoo...
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I'm gonna kill him.
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...and I was about to
get out of the shower
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to close the thing when...
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You wanna go?
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00:05:28,390 --> 00:05:30,017
Don't even think about coming down here.
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I will kill a squirrel.
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And in that moment,
I realized something.
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That you were right and Martin
should have listened to you all along?
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00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:39,220
No. That squirrel is the only man
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00:05:39,226 --> 00:05:41,048
who has seen me naked in two years...
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00:05:41,054 --> 00:05:42,486
and he's not even a man.
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This is my week to change that.
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AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
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- You're not gonna eat that, bro.
- I am, bro.
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00:05:57,332 --> 00:05:59,223
- Bro, I'm taking it.
- Come at me, bro.
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- Don't say "come at me, bro" to your bro, bro.
- Here.
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00:06:02,203 --> 00:06:04,537
Mae, you okay?
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00:06:04,605 --> 00:06:08,801
Yeah, just... a little too much
bro-energy, if I'm being honest.
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00:06:08,807 --> 00:06:11,541
Mmm, well, they are... actual bros.
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00:06:11,547 --> 00:06:13,399
And I guess I didn't get
the memo about this being
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00:06:13,405 --> 00:06:16,090
a shirtless dinner, or
I would have joined in.
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00:06:16,096 --> 00:06:17,960
- Gross.
- My point exactly.
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Ditto for the recent no-flushing trend.
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00:06:20,354 --> 00:06:23,042
- Hey, if it's yellow, let it mellow.
- Ah, that's a good boy.
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How is that a "good boy"?
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Mae, when you're a mom,
you can make the rules,
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but I'm playing Mom this week.
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00:06:29,245 --> 00:06:31,354
And why are you "playing Mom"?
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Because you're taking care
of your kids and your house?
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He's not really taking
care of his house.
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I'm literally only shirtless
'cause there's no clean laundry.
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Shut up, traitors!
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Do you want clean laundry
or the Master Sword in Zelda?
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I can't do both.
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00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,534
And besides...
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there was a whole movie
made about it in the '80s.
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It was called "Mr. Mom."
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You know what a better name
for that movie would have been?
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"Dad."
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00:06:54,422 --> 00:06:55,919
- She's not wrong.
- Yep.
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00:06:55,925 --> 00:06:58,403
- All right, guys. Zip it.
- He...
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_
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00:07:05,179 --> 00:07:07,391
_
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Who are you texting?
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Mae.
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00:07:10,190 --> 00:07:11,907
Why are you lying in wait?
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00:07:11,913 --> 00:07:16,399
Sorry, but... Mom, I can't
handle Dad weeks. I just can't.
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00:07:16,405 --> 00:07:19,784
Nobody brushes and nobody
flushes, and not to tattle,
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00:07:19,790 --> 00:07:23,317
but Dad never moves the wet clothes
from the washer into the dryer.
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00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:25,628
Can I please just
stay out here with you?
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00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:27,227
Oh, sweetie.
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00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:29,095
You know, I would love that,
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00:07:29,101 --> 00:07:31,856
but I think your dad
would be heartbroken.
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00:07:32,479 --> 00:07:36,039
I mean, he really looks
forward to his weeks with you.
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00:07:36,125 --> 00:07:38,443
I mean, your dad adores you.
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00:07:39,641 --> 00:07:42,444
You know who's a real pain
in the ass? Your daughter.
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00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:44,133
I mean, when did she get so judgmental?
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00:07:44,139 --> 00:07:46,446
Seriously, Mae can go topple
the patriarchy someplace else,
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00:07:46,452 --> 00:07:48,046
because I am her actual father,
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00:07:48,052 --> 00:07:50,216
and the next time that
girl rolls her eyes at me,
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00:07:50,222 --> 00:07:51,422
I'm gonna tell her...
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00:07:52,987 --> 00:07:54,804
The future is female?
192
00:07:58,685 --> 00:08:00,490
W-Well, what the hell is wrong with her?
193
00:08:00,496 --> 00:08:01,995
Maybe she feels outnumbered.
194
00:08:02,001 --> 00:08:04,205
Well, I'm sure Mason feels
the same way during your week.
195
00:08:04,211 --> 00:08:06,086
But he's not outnumbered. He has Milo...
196
00:08:06,092 --> 00:08:09,101
Oh, Milo doesn't count. He's,
like, a little half-human.
197
00:08:09,204 --> 00:08:11,103
Look. Mae is smart.
198
00:08:11,109 --> 00:08:12,356
And insightful.
199
00:08:12,362 --> 00:08:14,729
- And she's also...
- Not my daughter?
200
00:08:14,831 --> 00:08:16,732
- I was gonna say "a feminist."
- 'Cause you can tell me
201
00:08:16,738 --> 00:08:19,417
- if she's not my daughter.
- Mae is a budding feminist,
202
00:08:19,423 --> 00:08:22,636
- and as such, she is questioning everything.
- Okay.
203
00:08:22,642 --> 00:08:26,059
So, maybe if you just took a
little bit more of an interest
204
00:08:26,065 --> 00:08:27,536
in the things that she cares about,
205
00:08:27,542 --> 00:08:29,763
- the way you do with the boys.
- Oh god, here we go again.
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00:08:30,155 --> 00:08:31,631
If you don't want my advice,
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00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:33,727
I've got a whole shelf
full of parenting books...
208
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:36,009
- and cookbooks.
- So, you're just gonna use this
209
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:37,901
as an excuse to push your own agenda
210
00:08:37,907 --> 00:08:40,799
- once again. Oh, just admit it, Lena,
- You came knocking on my door.
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00:08:40,805 --> 00:08:43,385
it kills you that I don't
parent the way you do.
212
00:08:43,391 --> 00:08:45,922
And yet, here I stand... not dead.
213
00:08:45,928 --> 00:08:48,353
And clearly, my rules
don't govern your world,
214
00:08:48,359 --> 00:08:49,738
- Right.
- hence the skylight.
215
00:08:49,766 --> 00:08:52,217
Oh, the skylight?
216
00:08:52,223 --> 00:08:53,524
The skylight!
217
00:08:53,530 --> 00:08:56,524
Oh, you're just angry because
you can't block my sunshine.
218
00:08:56,530 --> 00:08:59,048
I was eye-[BLEEP] by a squirrel!
219
00:08:59,733 --> 00:09:00,933
Whoa.
220
00:09:01,811 --> 00:09:04,222
- I didn't mean to block his sunshine,
- _
221
00:09:04,228 --> 00:09:05,927
but somehow, I'm always the bad guy.
222
00:09:05,933 --> 00:09:07,622
- Yeah.
- "Yeah"?
223
00:09:07,628 --> 00:09:09,418
Look, I realize that
224
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:11,613
things between you
two are complicated...
225
00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:13,184
They're not complicated. They're over.
226
00:09:13,190 --> 00:09:16,200
...but then again, the devil you know...
227
00:09:16,206 --> 00:09:19,024
But then again, who wants
to be married to the devil?
228
00:09:19,030 --> 00:09:21,196
You should've heard the way
he talked to me last night.
229
00:09:21,202 --> 00:09:22,907
He blames me for everything,
230
00:09:22,913 --> 00:09:24,907
including his relationship with Mae.
231
00:09:24,913 --> 00:09:27,297
But on the plus side, not a squirrel.
232
00:09:27,303 --> 00:09:29,172
Fine, I'll give you "not a squirrel."
233
00:09:29,178 --> 00:09:31,171
But need I remind you, Martin's dating.
234
00:09:31,177 --> 00:09:34,696
We have no way of knowing
whether he is or isn't dating.
235
00:09:34,702 --> 00:09:37,282
Well, regardless, I am more interested
236
00:09:37,288 --> 00:09:39,079
in the cute doctor I've been texting.
237
00:09:39,085 --> 00:09:40,469
What cute doctor?
238
00:09:40,475 --> 00:09:43,355
The one who treated Mason. I
asked him out for drinks tonight.
239
00:09:43,526 --> 00:09:45,856
This is my mom's, but I'm allowed.
240
00:09:45,862 --> 00:09:47,565
- I know, Toby.
- So, what?
241
00:09:47,571 --> 00:09:50,548
You just use emojis
now, like some tween?
242
00:09:50,554 --> 00:09:52,009
- The heart-eyes one...
- _
243
00:09:52,015 --> 00:09:53,794
- The tongue-out one...
- _
244
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,090
- The snorting-coke one...
- That's not coke.
245
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,858
That is a ton of coke.
246
00:09:58,493 --> 00:10:00,122
Okay, relax, chip reader.
247
00:10:00,128 --> 00:10:02,101
We all waited for you, and
now, the second you're ready,
248
00:10:02,107 --> 00:10:03,421
Toby's supposed to jump?!
249
00:10:04,963 --> 00:10:07,055
I thought you'd be happy for me.
250
00:10:07,061 --> 00:10:08,869
- Well, I'm not.
- _
251
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:12,547
I'm sorry. I just really miss
the way things used to be.
252
00:10:12,553 --> 00:10:13,938
Well, I don't,
253
00:10:13,944 --> 00:10:16,220
okay? I don't want a platonic marriage.
254
00:10:16,226 --> 00:10:18,430
I want to be with someone who's into me.
255
00:10:18,436 --> 00:10:21,637
I want to be with someone who
wants to tear my clothes off.
256
00:10:22,091 --> 00:10:25,990
Are you the type of person
who would let someone...
257
00:10:26,357 --> 00:10:27,705
tear their clothes off?
258
00:10:28,598 --> 00:10:32,874
Well, obviously not my high-end pieces.
259
00:10:34,655 --> 00:10:36,365
_
260
00:10:41,930 --> 00:10:43,330
"Gender Wars"?
261
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:45,882
- Why are you looking at Mom's books?
- Oh.
262
00:10:46,631 --> 00:10:49,787
Hey, man. Uh, I'm just
doing a little research on
263
00:10:49,793 --> 00:10:51,045
your sister.
264
00:10:52,766 --> 00:10:54,099
And your mom.
265
00:10:54,105 --> 00:10:56,837
- And just women in general. You know.
- _
266
00:10:56,843 --> 00:10:59,147
- Care to join me?
- I'm good.
267
00:11:01,344 --> 00:11:03,971
I mean, it'd be one thing if she
were dating to get back at him,
268
00:11:03,977 --> 00:11:06,244
but I don't think
she's doing it for him.
269
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:07,857
I think she's doing it for her.
270
00:11:07,863 --> 00:11:09,099
Which means...
271
00:11:09,105 --> 00:11:10,387
it's really over.
272
00:11:10,706 --> 00:11:12,098
That's a fair assumption.
273
00:11:14,810 --> 00:11:17,793
- I don't understand your attitude.
- What attitude?
274
00:11:17,799 --> 00:11:20,193
How can you take this
whole thing just lying down?
275
00:11:20,199 --> 00:11:22,099
Take what lying down?
Someone else's divorce?
276
00:11:22,105 --> 00:11:23,919
Well, if it could happen to them,
277
00:11:23,925 --> 00:11:25,904
- it could happen to us.
- It's not gonna happen to us.
278
00:11:25,910 --> 00:11:27,621
- Well, how do you know?
- 'Cause if you ever tried to leave,
279
00:11:27,627 --> 00:11:29,497
I would hold you captive like an orca.
280
00:11:29,503 --> 00:11:30,970
- That's illegal.
- What do I care?
281
00:11:30,976 --> 00:11:32,894
Without you, my life is over anyway.
282
00:11:33,696 --> 00:11:38,275
See, that is exactly the type of
needy, desperate, deranged behavior
283
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:41,173
that it takes to keep
a marriage together.
284
00:11:43,528 --> 00:11:45,326
Sorry, I flushed.
285
00:11:49,212 --> 00:11:50,611
What's with the hats?
286
00:11:50,617 --> 00:11:52,043
Well, uh...
287
00:11:52,418 --> 00:11:55,135
we just wanted to show you
that we support your cause.
288
00:11:55,141 --> 00:11:56,443
My cause?
289
00:11:57,031 --> 00:11:58,739
You guys are hilarious.
290
00:12:04,026 --> 00:12:05,916
I told you this wasn't gonna work.
291
00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:10,147
I like mine.
292
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:12,710
Whoa, are you cooking?
293
00:12:12,716 --> 00:12:15,782
Yeah. I just realized
that I did have a tendency
294
00:12:15,788 --> 00:12:17,651
to let Lena do most
of the household stuff,
295
00:12:17,657 --> 00:12:20,265
and now, I'm... trying to... you know...
296
00:12:20,271 --> 00:12:21,692
- Change?
- Yes.
297
00:12:21,698 --> 00:12:22,998
Change.
298
00:12:23,004 --> 00:12:24,555
W-Why now?
299
00:12:24,783 --> 00:12:27,653
Well, for starters,
my daughter hates me.
300
00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:29,653
I mean, I-I've already screwed
up my relationship with Lena.
301
00:12:29,659 --> 00:12:31,188
I don't want to lose Mae, too.
302
00:12:32,538 --> 00:12:34,838
Martin, you're so vulnerable right now.
303
00:12:36,143 --> 00:12:39,072
It's beautiful, bro.
It's seriously beautiful.
304
00:12:39,363 --> 00:12:42,269
- Can I give you a hug?
- I-I-I don't really want to do that.
305
00:12:42,275 --> 00:12:43,475
Come on.
306
00:12:43,654 --> 00:12:44,908
Let's hug.
307
00:12:46,865 --> 00:12:48,103
Okay.
308
00:12:53,428 --> 00:12:55,028
- Mmm.
- Ahh.
309
00:12:55,410 --> 00:12:56,635
It's all right.
310
00:12:59,557 --> 00:13:00,769
- Oh!
- Aah!
311
00:13:00,775 --> 00:13:02,591
Stay in the hug, all
right? Don't turn around.
312
00:13:02,597 --> 00:13:04,419
- Oh god, what's happening? What...
- You don't want to see.
313
00:13:04,425 --> 00:13:06,464
- I do want to see!
- Okay, you're gonna stay in the hug,
314
00:13:06,470 --> 00:13:09,091
because you're gonna need it.
Now, slowly rotate to the right.
315
00:13:09,097 --> 00:13:12,049
Slowly. Great. Great!
316
00:13:15,631 --> 00:13:17,062
She got a date, huh?
317
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,460
_
318
00:13:24,466 --> 00:13:26,378
I'm, uh, really glad you texted.
319
00:13:26,384 --> 00:13:28,996
- Well, I'm glad you responded.
- Of course I responded.
320
00:13:29,872 --> 00:13:32,600
Although, to be clear,
I don't do cocaine.
321
00:13:32,606 --> 00:13:34,638
Okay, is that the coke emoji?
322
00:13:34,724 --> 00:13:36,296
I...
323
00:13:36,302 --> 00:13:38,731
You're really cute. You know?
324
00:13:39,230 --> 00:13:40,465
And pretty.
325
00:13:41,426 --> 00:13:43,338
And I would like to kiss you.
326
00:13:43,985 --> 00:13:48,681
Uh, I-I-I'd like to administer a kiss.
327
00:13:48,767 --> 00:13:51,487
Well, let me prep the patient.
328
00:13:51,493 --> 00:13:52,806
Ahh.
329
00:13:55,262 --> 00:13:57,756
- Soft, but not mushy. And, like, tongue,
- Oh...
330
00:13:57,762 --> 00:13:59,684
but not an oppressive
amount. You know what?
331
00:13:59,690 --> 00:14:02,166
Use your best judgment on the tongue.
332
00:14:03,258 --> 00:14:05,037
I just wouldn't... I wouldn't go crazy.
333
00:14:05,233 --> 00:14:07,240
- Okay.
- You like to call the shots, huh?
334
00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:09,227
Sorry. I'm sorry.
335
00:14:09,233 --> 00:14:11,733
- I just... I'm trying to work on that.
- Yeah.
336
00:14:11,739 --> 00:14:13,735
- You know what? Don't listen to me.
- Oh, okay.
337
00:14:13,741 --> 00:14:15,840
You just kiss me however you want.
338
00:14:16,426 --> 00:14:17,626
Thank you.
339
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,544
And I'm sure you're gonna crush it.
340
00:14:20,316 --> 00:14:22,711
- So, good luck in there. You got it.
- Okay.
341
00:14:22,717 --> 00:14:24,230
- Can I come in now?
- Do it.
342
00:14:35,768 --> 00:14:38,684
I think, maybe, I got into
your head a little bit.
343
00:14:38,690 --> 00:14:41,100
Um, why don't we take another run at it,
344
00:14:41,106 --> 00:14:43,184
but this time, you know, just...
345
00:14:43,190 --> 00:14:45,008
I think, it was like...
346
00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:48,301
- It was...
- Wait. Uh, rain check.
347
00:14:48,307 --> 00:14:50,615
One of my patients
just landed in the ER.
348
00:14:50,621 --> 00:14:53,122
- Oh, my gosh. Of course, yes. Go.
- Uh...
349
00:14:56,221 --> 00:14:57,434
Bye.
350
00:15:03,704 --> 00:15:05,550
So, you're a nightmare.
351
00:15:06,451 --> 00:15:07,822
I beg your pardon?
352
00:15:07,952 --> 00:15:09,316
Well, how can anyone succeed
353
00:15:09,322 --> 00:15:11,019
when they're being given
that much direction?
354
00:15:11,025 --> 00:15:13,534
See, now, I would argue,
"How can one not succeed
355
00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:15,001
when given that much direction?"
356
00:15:15,007 --> 00:15:16,297
So, you dictate orders,
357
00:15:16,303 --> 00:15:17,712
he says, "Yes, ma'am," and
358
00:15:17,718 --> 00:15:20,419
- next thing you know...
- Haven't had sex in two years.
359
00:15:20,797 --> 00:15:22,306
Who hasn't?
360
00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:24,101
What? I don't know. Not me.
361
00:15:24,107 --> 00:15:26,250
I was just saying, like, one hasn't...
362
00:15:26,334 --> 00:15:28,243
just one that hasn't had sex
in two years. I don't know.
363
00:15:28,249 --> 00:15:31,118
I'm just saying hypotheticals.
364
00:15:31,124 --> 00:15:34,156
Well, hypothetically...
365
00:15:35,955 --> 00:15:38,345
I think you need someone
who knows how to push back.
366
00:15:38,351 --> 00:15:39,870
My ex-husband pushed back.
367
00:15:39,876 --> 00:15:41,769
- Did he push back hard?
- Hard...
368
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,678
yeah. We fought all the time.
369
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,397
So, maybe you like it gentle.
370
00:15:47,884 --> 00:15:50,157
Okay.
371
00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:54,030
Relax. Let's just relax, okay?
372
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:55,632
I'm someone's mother.
373
00:15:55,638 --> 00:15:57,639
I'm actually three people's mother.
374
00:15:57,645 --> 00:16:01,836
And motherhood and
sexuality can't co-exist?
375
00:16:02,206 --> 00:16:04,616
'Cause, from where I'm
sitting, they can...
376
00:16:05,722 --> 00:16:06,922
and do...
377
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:11,429
...if you could just chill out a little.
378
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:13,781
I can chill out.
379
00:16:15,052 --> 00:16:17,230
I don't want to lie to
you... I cannot chill out.
380
00:16:17,341 --> 00:16:19,856
Kids! Dinner!
381
00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:22,357
Okay, you guys.
382
00:16:22,460 --> 00:16:24,801
So, the reason I do not cook
383
00:16:24,807 --> 00:16:27,316
is not because I am a male chauvinist,
384
00:16:27,892 --> 00:16:29,528
it's because...
385
00:16:31,196 --> 00:16:32,636
...I suck.
386
00:16:46,347 --> 00:16:47,659
It's delicious.
387
00:16:48,164 --> 00:16:49,367
Stop it.
388
00:16:49,373 --> 00:16:51,065
It is. See for yourself.
389
00:16:51,071 --> 00:16:54,969
It looks like dog barf,
but it tastes great.
390
00:16:54,975 --> 00:16:56,175
Cut it out.
391
00:17:01,330 --> 00:17:02,943
It is delicious.
392
00:17:03,331 --> 00:17:05,513
Men really can do everything, huh?
393
00:17:10,341 --> 00:17:12,653
- Not bad, huh?
- See, Dad?
394
00:17:12,659 --> 00:17:15,342
If I hadn't pizza-shamed you,
you would have never discovered
395
00:17:15,348 --> 00:17:17,546
- your inner domestic goddess.
- Mm.
396
00:17:17,552 --> 00:17:18,944
This is true.
397
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:21,553
- Can I be excused?
- Yes, you can, little man.
398
00:17:21,559 --> 00:17:23,286
- Uh, me, too?
- Yeah. You, too.
399
00:17:24,159 --> 00:17:25,772
- Hey, Mae.
- Hm?
400
00:17:26,678 --> 00:17:29,096
You know, just because I'm the guy
401
00:17:29,193 --> 00:17:31,500
doesn't mean that I'm the bad guy.
402
00:17:32,074 --> 00:17:33,274
I know.
403
00:17:33,875 --> 00:17:35,665
Okay. Good.
404
00:17:35,863 --> 00:17:37,387
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
405
00:17:38,069 --> 00:17:41,865
When you were little, I really
knew how to play with you.
406
00:17:41,871 --> 00:17:44,083
I did. I would... I would
throw you up in the air,
407
00:17:44,089 --> 00:17:46,620
and you would scream and
run around, and I mean...
408
00:17:47,801 --> 00:17:52,005
But then, you grew up,
and you got so serious.
409
00:17:52,512 --> 00:17:54,801
- I still like to play.
- You do?
410
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,642
What do you like to play?
411
00:17:59,589 --> 00:18:00,789
Boggle.
412
00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:04,788
Well, Mae, I have some
really bad news for you.
413
00:18:05,868 --> 00:18:07,400
Tomorrow night...
414
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:09,665
I'm gonna murder you.
415
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,204
At Boggle!
416
00:18:13,124 --> 00:18:14,953
- All right.
- Okay.
417
00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:23,949
You're home early.
418
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,261
Are you waiting up for me?
419
00:18:27,267 --> 00:18:28,467
No.
420
00:18:29,337 --> 00:18:30,537
Yes.
421
00:18:32,834 --> 00:18:34,261
Hey.
422
00:18:34,741 --> 00:18:36,226
You cooked.
423
00:18:36,529 --> 00:18:37,947
Is Mae happy?
424
00:18:38,329 --> 00:18:40,262
Your books were very helpful.
425
00:18:40,421 --> 00:18:43,425
And so was your advice, so, thank you.
426
00:18:43,431 --> 00:18:44,631
You're welcome.
427
00:18:47,534 --> 00:18:51,925
And I'm... I'm sorry if I, um, just...
428
00:18:52,151 --> 00:18:54,841
If I have a tendency to... just...
429
00:18:56,347 --> 00:18:58,454
I'm sorry that I blocked your sunshine.
430
00:18:59,235 --> 00:19:02,635
Well, I'm sorry for whatever I said
431
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:05,766
that made you highlight
pages 18 through 48.
432
00:19:05,772 --> 00:19:07,464
You actually read that?
433
00:19:07,470 --> 00:19:10,854
- Oh, I read. I cook. I clean.
- Oh?
434
00:19:10,860 --> 00:19:12,521
I run a mile in under 6.
435
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:14,427
Oh. Okay.
436
00:19:17,816 --> 00:19:20,621
Tell the new guy he's
got big shoes to fill.
437
00:19:20,834 --> 00:19:23,516
♪ Hello, my old heart ♪
438
00:19:23,522 --> 00:19:25,777
♪ How have you been? ♪
439
00:19:26,177 --> 00:19:30,330
♪ Are you still there inside my chest? ♪
440
00:19:31,611 --> 00:19:34,214
♪ I've been so worried ♪
441
00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:36,778
♪ You've been so still ♪
442
00:19:37,255 --> 00:19:40,471
♪ Barely beating at all ♪
443
00:19:42,767 --> 00:19:44,490
♪ 6:00 A.M. ♪
444
00:19:44,759 --> 00:19:46,877
♪ Day after Christmas ♪
445
00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:50,905
♪ I throw some clothes on in the dark ♪
446
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:54,298
♪ The smell of cold ♪
447
00:19:54,304 --> 00:19:56,861
♪ Car seat is freezing ♪
448
00:19:56,867 --> 00:19:59,158
♪ The world is sleeping ♪
449
00:19:59,164 --> 00:20:01,220
♪ I am ♪
450
00:20:01,391 --> 00:20:04,486
♪ I'm feeling more alone ♪
451
00:20:05,884 --> 00:20:09,348
♪ Than I ever have before ♪
452
00:20:09,535 --> 00:20:13,413
Okay, seriously, can you play
something a little less depressing?
453
00:20:13,419 --> 00:20:15,051
I'm going through a divorce here, bud.
454
00:20:15,057 --> 00:20:17,363
Aw, you want me to
get your crying bikini?
455
00:20:17,532 --> 00:20:18,732
Oh, my God. You're so dead.
456
00:20:18,738 --> 00:20:21,262
Well, what do you want me to do?
This is the song that I'm learning.
457
00:20:21,268 --> 00:20:23,042
You're so dead. I'm
gonna go take a shower.
458
00:20:23,048 --> 00:20:24,250
Okay.
459
00:20:26,464 --> 00:20:31,450
♪ She's a brick, and
I'm drowning slowly ♪
460
00:20:31,456 --> 00:20:36,138
♪ Off the coast, and
I'm heading nowhere ♪
461
00:20:36,144 --> 00:20:41,611
♪ She's a brick, and
I'm drowning slowly ♪
462
00:20:46,790 --> 00:20:47,990
Well...
463
00:20:48,352 --> 00:20:49,796
she told you so.
464
00:20:49,802 --> 00:20:55,330
Sync & corrections by PetaG
- www.addic7ed.com -
464
00:20:56,305 --> 00:21:02,773
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