Original subtitles

DON'T BE AFRAID

Very good.

Now stay with that feeling.

Keep it in your mind.

Yeah.

Let your feelings flow...

Let them flow.

Meanwhile, follow my fingers with your eyes.

One, two, three.

Up!

- You flew this time, eh? - Yes.

Good morning.

- Hi, Marta. - Goodbye.

There are less pigeons than the other day. Remember what happened?

You were really scared.

Hey, look who's there.

How are things?

Fine, Enrique. And you?

Fine. I'm getting used to it.

- Had any discomfort? - No.

- While eating? - No.

I'm glad. Come and see me if you need anything.

Thank you, don Ignacio.

- Great. - Okay.

Bye, gorgeous. Have fun.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

Give me your hand.

- Do it again. - Again?

- Yeah? - Okay, let's go.

One, two, three.

Come on, go to sleep.

It's late.

Good night.

I want my sheep...

Your sheep.

See you tomorrow, sweetie.

What's this?

Asleep already?

- Asleep already? - No.

Are you sure?

- Let's play. - Okay.

Let's see how much you can take today.

When I say go, okay?

Go.

Don't blink.

Silvia, Ignacio... Come on, it's late!

Time's up.

Okay, sweetie.

Good night.

Hi.

- How was your day? - Fine.

- Have a nice time? - Yes.

Okay, I'll race you to the car.

One, two...

Okay, okay...

Very good, Maite.

Maite's great at this!

- Another lap? - Yeah.

Great!

Come on.

We're gonna fall...

Here I come... I'm gonna catch you...

I'm gonna catch you...

I can't believe it!

I got you. I got you.

- Want me to tickle you? - No!

You don't? You don't?

I got you.

Don't be afraid, princess. Don't be afraid.

Here.

Very good, Silvia.

Put your name on it and wait until your classmates finish theirs.

My cousin gave me a pair of tights that look purple but they're pink.

And they've also got...

Hi.

Hi.

- How was your day? - Fine.

- Everything okay? - Yes.

- I have a surprise for you two. - What is it?

I think you'll like it.

- Can you guess what it is? - No.

- Should I tell you? - Yes.

- We're going to a movie. - Great!

I already told your mom.

A toast, to the ship's new captain

and to the greater glory of his Majesty Neptune, God of the Seas...

Letme go, let me go!

- Captain. - What is it?

We found this rat in the boiler room.

By Lucifer and all the devils, where are the others?

We don't know. He refuses to speak.

Search the ship. And show him no mercy.

- Did you like it? - Yeah, it was cool.

- What about you? - Yeah.

I liked it too. Wanna come back sometime?

- Yeah. - Maite!

Maite!

- How was the movie? - Fine, it was a pirate movie.

Was it? That's great.

- Hello. - How are you?

Here we are.

I got off work early and we decided to go for a walk.

I'm parked nearby, if you need a ride...

No, it's okay. We'd rather walk.

I want to go with them.

- Yeah? - It's only a 20-minute walk.

Okay, we'll walk together.

I'll pick up the can'tomorrow.

- Did you like the movie? - Yeah.

Stop it, you're hurting me.

No, silly. You'll love it.

Let's play "Lollipop."

Suck it, suck it, suck it more...

Just like a popsicle. Isn't that yummy?

Keep going, it's yummy.

Suck it more.

Silvia!

Who taught you that?

Who was it?

Arert you listening? Who?

Daddy.

Don't be ridiculous. And don't lie to me.

Who taught you that?

Silvia, who was it?

And come out from there. Always hiding behind the sofa!

Silvia!

No!

No!

Mommy, Mommy!

- Mommy! - It's okay, baby.

It's okay. Mommy's here.

It's okay.

It's okay, sweetie.

I was around 9 years old...

and my uncle would make me go in his room

and touch him... and one day he raped me.

I remember from that day on...

I started wetting the bed.

I'd wake up nervous at night and see the wet sheets

and I'd lie naked on top of them

so they would dry.

I was ashamed

and terrified people would find out what was going on.

He touched me between my legs.

I felt his penis on my thighs.

I was scared.

I was shaking.

I wanted to think he wasrt my father,

that someone else had invaded his body.

So I'd leave my body too

and escape to the beach.

I'd leave the two invaders there...

alone doing nasty things.

I was about 5 or6 when it all began.

He was over 50 and he'd say

I was his favorite granddaughter and how much he loved me.

One day, to show me...

he pulled down his pants while bathing me.

He took my hand...

and put it on his penis.

He said we were going to play a game.

And...

he ejaculated on me.

On my body.

I don't remember receiving very much love as a child.

That's what made me an easy target.

Especially if the person offering their love

was a teacher I admired.

I wonder

ifhe did the same thing with a lot of other boys.

And if the others were as docile and obedient as I was.

He'd take me to his house,

take my clothes off and put on pornos.

"This is what people who love each other do," he'd say.

And I wanted to be loved.

So I went along with it.

Silvia.

- Okay? - Fine.

- See how easy it was? - Yeah...

Sir, are the exercises you gave us fortomorrow?

- Yes. - Okay, thanks.

Shit. I just remembered, I have to run an errand.

I'll come with you.

That's okay, it's for my mom.

Whatever you say.

Are you leaving?

- Yeah, see you tomorrow. - Okay, bye.

- See you tomorrow. - Bye.

Bye.

- Hi. - Silvia, what are you doing here?

I was at a friend's doing homework and she lives nearby.

Let's go home, it's freezing.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

I don't see why you're upset.

She was only at a friend's doing homework.

I don't like her studying at friends' houses.

It's like she has no family, like we don't care about her.

Not this again.

Not what again?

Besides, if she needs help with her homework,

she knows she has me.

Right?

You're not hungry again?

The respiratory tracts are undamaged.

Everything is fine.

She also gets diarrhea.

She suddenly has to rush to the toilet.

The analyses are okay.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

How is your appetite?

Any problems with your period?

She doesn't eat.

She ate just fine until she was six or seven.

But lately she hasn't been hungry.

Take two of these a day. At breakfast and dinner.

It's a vitamin complex.

And get some exercise outdoors. It'll do you good.

Silvia?

Yes?

Come here.

Sweetie, you're soaking wet.

Take off those wet clothes or you'll catch a cold.

Come here, I'll dry you off.

You were fantastic, sweetheart.

Yes, you're very musically talented.

What are you doing?

Just a drop, for a toast.

To your future.

To you, sweetie.

I'd like to study composition.

Maite's going to study at a school in Barcelona.

No need to think about that stuff yet.

You're still very young. We can think about that later.

What is it now?

Leave her alone. She had to perform, she's nervous.

When it's not one thing, it's another. Always the same.

There's no cheering her up.

Shut up already.

Come on. What's that look for?

No blinking.

Want some?

Come on, let's go dance.

Come on.

Let's go.

Come on!

We pour permanganate into the solution

and we can see how the other elements begin to oxidize.

So the solution changes color several times.

From purple to blue,

blue to green,

green to orange... And that will be the last color.

To make it change faster,

just stir it with the spoon. A little more.

That's it.

Rememberto stir it to speed up the reaction.

- Can I go to the bathroom? - Again?

Go on, stir it.

That's it.

Let's see what's in here.

What could that be?

One for you.

And another one for you.

Well? Did I come through?

I was dying to get this.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

"Never Mind" is still my favorite.

Yeah, well...

An album like that one is unrepeatable.

And I still have another surprise.

You're driving!

Drive up to that circle.

Come on, here we go.

Be careful here...

Turn when I tell you, okay? Keep going straight...

Not yet.

Now. Come on...

A little more, gently, a little more...

Look out, not so much!

Very good.

Come on, now straighten it.

A little more...

Great.

Okay, let's try second gear.

That's enough, isn't it? When is it my turn?

Okay, let's stop.

Slowly, slowly...

Not so hard!

Until age 15, I thought it was all a nightmare.

That some day I'd wake up to find it was all just a bad dream.

I'd even pinch myself.

Especially when he'd come to my room so I'd touch him.

I'd think, "Not him again, what a pain..."

I'd get him off quickly so he'd leave me alone.

"It'll only take a minute..."

I'd say it over and over again to myself to give myself courage.

Pinching myself the whole time, trying to wake up.

He'd touch me and stroke me...

and...

I'd get excited and have orgasms.

I was horrified.

My body reacted against my wishes.

I didn't understand.

I didn't know what was happening to me.

I grew up thinking I had a monster hiding inside me.

I started masturbating compulsively...

I felt dirty and bad.

I started wearing make-up and high heels and going out...

to flirt with guys. It was my way...

of calling out...

for help so people would know what was happening.

But nothing happened, nobody helped me.

The only thing that happened is I felt like a whore.

When I was 15, I abused my cousin and then a neighbor.

I figured if my uncle did it with me,

I could do it with other people.

I had become reclusive, aggressive...

And I'd take out all of my anger on them.

I enjoyed watching them suffer.

I spent my adolescence...

tired, depressed, sad...

Sadness really weighs you down.

I couldn't sleep at night, I knew...

he'd be drunk when he got home and he'd come in my room.

We were three sisters sleeping in the same room.

If he didn't come to my bed, he went to one of theirs.

I didn't do anything.

I still...

I still haven't been able to forgive myself.

- How much is this one? - 3,50.

Okay.

Here.

Excuse me.

- Is there a bathroom? - Inside.

Thank you.

- Here you are. - Thank you.

Hi.

Hi.

Look what came with the newspaper.

Great.

You like the color?

Let me see.

Yeah, very nice.

Wanna watch it later?

Okay.

I'll go make lunch.

Okay.

Are you going out?

Yeah.

What about the movie?

Bye.

- Hello. - Hello.

Hello.

- Hi. - Hi.

Thank you.

- Working on Sunday again? - Yeah.

But I get off at ten.

- You want some coffee? - Okay.

Thanks.

Silvia...

Silvia!

I know you like Bach, but we're playing Falla.

- Okay. - Ready?

- I'll call you tomorrow then. - Okay.

You're leaving? You're not staying?

No, I have to go.

I'm cooking for once, you can't leave...

Tell her what a good cook I am.

I have to get up early tomorrow.

That's okay, so do we.

Don't worry about it. Let her do what she wants.

- Bye. - See you.

Hi. Coffee with milk and some apple pie.

- Whipped cream? - No, thanks.

Hi, what is it?

I won't be back for dinner, I'm with some friends.

Okay.

Bye.

Come on.

You'll catch a cold.

Come on.

Good morning.

Good morning.

We need to change the showerhead. It's broken.

Yeah, I saw it.

The bathtub faucet is broken too. We'll have to call a plumber.

We may as well change all the faucets.

That might be a better idea.

What's the matter?

You've got a bunch of new gray hairs.

Is that okay?

Silvia?

Yeah, I'll be right out.

- Are you okay? - Yeah, I just felt dizzy...

- You want some coffee? - No, thanks.

- Take a break. - No, it's okay. I'm fine, thank you.

Sorry about that.

- See you tomorrow. - Bye.

Anyway, I'm off. I'm meeting Maite.

- Can I give you a ride? - No, we're meeting in the square.

Don't stay out too late.

You don't look very well.

Get in, it's free.

Where to?

Miss, where are we going?

Hello? Where do you want me to take you?

What are you doing?

How do you feel now?

Better.

Do you know where we are?

- In the hospital. - Very good.

- Remember who I am? - Doctor Hidalgo.

Very good.

Let me see...

What does that say? Can you read it?

"Second EMDR conference on psychiatry and mental health..."

Okay, that'll do.

Are you feeling dizzy right now? Any discomfort?

No.

We'll give her 10 milligrams of Diazepam.

Okay, Silvia.

We'll keep you in observation for a few days.

Is that okay with you?

There was nothing we could do.

We tried to exchange the tickets, but it was sold out.

So we missed it.

We were terribly disappointed.

Yes, it was too bad.

The one time he played here...

Goodness, it's so late.

Okay, sweetie...

- I'll stop by tomorrow. - Okay.

The taxi driver got quite a scare, but I only hurt my arm.

Pretty crazy.

- How long will it be in a cast? - One month.

I might not be able to go so long without hearing you two play.

You're so obnoxious...

- What's the matter? - Nothing.

Tell him I'm not well...

Where did Silvia go?

I want to see her. She's my daughter and you can't stop me.

I'm sorry, but she doesn't want to see you.

- What do you mean? - She doesn't want to.

I imagine you don't know why she's behaving like this...

She'sjust nervous.

She gets upset and confuses things. It's happened before.

I see.

But it's nothing serious.

She just needs to get some rest.

Let me talk to her. She'll calm down, you'll see.

Let me see her.

Tell me one thing.

You see?

He's gone.

Feeling any better?

What happened, Silvia?

What upset you so much?

What's going on?

Will you tell me?

I'm frightened.

I'm afraid.

Can you locate this fear?

In what part of your body?

In my stomach.

In your stomach.

Silvia...

I want you to focus on that fear.

On that feeling.

All right?

Think about that fear...

Meanwhile, follow my fingers with your eyes.

Okay?

Now what do you feel?

It's cold...

It's cold...

I used alcohol and drugs

to block out everything I was feeling.

To not think about anything, like an anesthetic.

I'd get drunk and take drugs until I passed out.

That's when I started hearing voices.

And talking to myself. I'd talk to myself for hours.

They ended up checking me into the hospital.

They said I had dissociative personality disorder,

or something like that.

In other words, I didn't even know who I was.

And that it was all a result of the sexual abuse.

I had never made that connection.

It had never occurred to me

because I had no problems having sex.

Though it's true I didn't enjoy it...

I spent the whole day eating. I went on binges...

Then my stomach would hurt and I'd throw up.

I was anorexic for a while as well.

I was always frightened and I had panic attacks.

They might last 5 or 6 hours, sometimes all day long.

I wouldn't go out, I'd lock myselfin the house.

Aftertwo years going from one psychologist to another,

I finally figured out why.

My father had sexually abused me from age 5 to 14.

Sometimes I wonder

why I didn't kick him in the balls and run away.

- They gave you the prescription? - Yes.

Take one a day and we'll see how it goes.

Anyway, thank you...

You know where to find me if you need anything.

Thanks.

You can't switch homes like this.

Here today, gone tomorrow, like this is a boarding house.

Your mother's right, Silvia.

You know you're welcome here,

but you need to start living your life. You're not 15 anymore.

At least tell him to stop calling.

Okay, let's hear it.

What happened this time? What did you two fight about?

Silvia...

What happened at the hospital?

The thing is...

Excuse me.

I asked the other shifts but nobody had seen you.

- I thought you werert coming back. - Why?

I don't know... There are plenty of arcades around.

Or maybe you quit...

- See you later. - You're leaving?

Stay.

Where on earth have you been?

Why don't you answerthe phone? Are you stupid?

My battery ran out.

Your battery ran out.

Couldrt you have called?

We looked for you all night.

Calling hospitals... We didn't sleep a wink.

Anyway, I'm off.

We'll talk later.

What's the matter with you, Silvia?

You're getting more irresponsible every day.

Things have been bad ever since I started digging up all this crap.

What do you mean?

What do I mean about what?

When you say things have been bad.

I don't know...

I thought therapy would get me somewhere,

that I'd feel better.

I want you to get to know yourself, to accept yourself...

but sometimes we see things we don't like.

How are you feeling now?

Like a glass that hit the floor and shattered into pieces.

I'll never be able to put them back together.

Why do you think that?

I wish I felt differently, but I don't.

Do you really think I can put this behind me?

Here, take it.

The book I told you about.

You already are, Silvia.

What matters most is your attitude. It's up to you.

But you can't change years ofbehavior in two days.

Okay, shall we continue?

Take a deep breath.

I prefer you with that haircut.

Yeah?

Come with me next time.

Sergio has a knack for picking the right hairstyle.

And you could use a new look.

How is Maite doing?

I haven't seen her at the shop in a while.

She's fine.

Is she still seeing Victor?

Yeah, they're living together. They rented an apartment.

Really?

And you?

Where were you the other night?

Out, with a friend.

With a friend...

That's what we all say.

But there must be more to it.

Have you already hooked up with him?

You know what?

Dad was my first lover.

Well, my first and pretty much the only one.

Stop it.

Only a sick mind could make up something so atrocious.

It's true.

You're sick, sweetheart.

And you need help.

What you're saying makes no sense, don't you realize?

It's only your imagination.

Sure. My imagination...

I'm being paranoid as usual, right?

Like when you moved out and I asked you to take me with you.

I said I couldn't take it anymore, that I would die...

Remember what you said? I haven't forgotten...

"Don't be so neurotic, sweetheart.

Nobody will take better care of you than your father."

I cried, I begged...

But you had other plans, as usual.

I thought you hated me,

that you knew everything and that was why you were leaving.

I had to run away from home twice before you let me spend the night.

- Have you forgotten that too? - That's enough, Silvia.

Stop it.

Did you really not know what was going on?

Or did you not want to know?

I'm going to the bathroom.

Can you bring me some coffee?

You want one?

Just one, thank you.

I'm sorry, Mom. I won't upset you again.

No, Maite...

Your right hand needs to play with more depth.

Pull it tight on that side.

Victor, take out the table lamp and put it with the books.

That's okay, I don't need it.

Don't be silly, you can stay as long as you need to. You know that.

And you don't have to explain anything to us.

- Has it got a light bulb? - Yeah.

Here, you forgot this...

No, leave that.

Grab my books and CD's overthere.

You scared me!

- Hi, Clara. - Nice to have you back.

- Recovered from the accident? - Yeah, I'm much better.

- Hi, Maite. - Hi.

Bye, Clara. Nice to see you.

Bye.

Cheers.

Let's dance.

No, I don't like dancing.

- What do you mean? - I don't like dancing.

That way.

It's a small place, but it's nice.

There are lots ofboxes around because they just moved in.

There's beer in the kitchen.

- In there? - Yeah.

Silvia, what do I open them with?

In here.

Turn it up, we can barely hear it.

I can't play music?

Knowing we both work tomorrow, I should think not.

Maite, this is Toni and that's Victor.

- Hi. - Hi.

Okay.

See you later.

Silvia, you can't introduce us to your friend at this hour.

When, then?

You always know everything!

Do whatever you want.

There, there.

Hi.

Hi.

Come in.

Will you tickle me?

You came back, princess... You came back.

Paco, come here a second.

What's wrong? Are you okay?

Did you get robbed?

No.

Should we call somebody? The police, an ambulance?

No, I'm okay.

I can't take it.

He hasn't said a word to me in three days.

He says I don't care about him,

that I never ask him about his project or anything else.

What's the point of asking? He nevertells me anything anyway.

Maite, did my dad evertouch you?

What?

Did he ever touch you? Did he do anything to you?

No.

Honestly?

- Tell me the truth. - No, really.

Why?

Because I'd never forgive him.

My uncle taught me how to do things.

He was proud of me.

It's funny.

When I was little I was told never to trust strangers...

but nobody ever warned me about him or other people I knew.

Yeah, I made the same mistake.

We all make mistakes, Rosa. But complaining doesn't help.

How did your story turn out, Rafa?

The case expired.

What do you mean, expired?

By the time I finally mustered up enough courage

to report the bastard,

it was too late forthem to do anything about it.

It's funny.

What about my pain, my desperation, my fear?

When will they expire?

- Are you coming on Tuesday? - Yeah.

- What about you? - Me too.

See you later.

Hi.

I wasrt expecting you today.

That's why I came. I left everything ready.

- How did it go? - Fine...

Come on, it's starting to show.

At least a little, right?

Yeah, it's starting to show.

Okay, everybody sit down.

- Where should I sit? - Wherever you want.

See what you think.

I took it from my dad, it must be good.

Let's see.

We haven't made a toast yet.

- Sorry, I didn't know... - I haven't served myself yet.

Okay, what are we toasting to?

- I don't know. - To us, right?

To us.

- Sounds good. - Cheers.

Lnaki, one beer and two ham sandwiches.

Here.

Thanks.

Hi.

When are you coming home?

Hi.

It's me.

Okay.

- What's wrong? - Nothing.

- Are you sure? - Yeah.

Breathe.

How...?

How is it possible that the person who's loved me the most

is the same person who destroyed my life?

I can't understand it... I can't...

Silvia.

Don't try to understand it.

Just try to accept it and let it go.

Accept what? That I love him? That I hate him? What?

Good, that's it. Keep that feeling, that anger.

Your appointment is Thursday at three.

One moment, please.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Shall I get your father? - Yes, please.

Sorry about that. Is three o'clock okay?

Okay, goodbye.

Don Ignacio,

your daughter is here.

Why are you here? What do you want?

I needed to see if I could do this.

Hi, I'm calling about the apartment.

Yeah, I know.

Can I come and see it now?

Okay.

Okay, I'm on my way.

Thanks.