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1
00:00:08,593 --> 00:00:10,393
[DOOR CREAKS] Hey.
2
00:00:10,426 --> 00:00:12,960
- There he is.
- Hey! Jim!
3
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,530
- Congrats on Atlanta.
- Thank you, Raj.
4
00:00:15,540 --> 00:00:17,615
You know, boy, you're
a very talented young man.
5
00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:18,983
You put up quite a fight.
6
00:00:19,008 --> 00:00:21,547
- I have a little something for you.
- No, Jim, come on.
7
00:00:21,572 --> 00:00:22,901
Where is that thing? Where is it?
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00:00:22,983 --> 00:00:24,082
- Here it is.
- I'm excited.
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00:00:24,106 --> 00:00:26,679
Psych! Fuck you!
10
00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:27,793
I win.
11
00:00:27,818 --> 00:00:29,887
I am a major-league broadcaster!
12
00:00:30,220 --> 00:00:33,489
Aaron Thomas in his iTunes review says
13
00:00:33,490 --> 00:00:37,077
that "Jim Brockmire
is a boring and rambling drunk."
14
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:38,737
One star." [JEERING]
15
00:00:38,823 --> 00:00:41,752
No, no. Thank you
for the feedback, Aaron.
16
00:00:41,853 --> 00:00:43,953
And here is my response.
17
00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:47,499
[CHEERING]
18
00:00:47,602 --> 00:00:48,899
I don't know if you remember me,
19
00:00:49,035 --> 00:00:51,700
but you would not let me
eat out your ass.
20
00:00:51,749 --> 00:00:53,969
I just want you to know
that the joke is on you,
21
00:00:54,005 --> 00:00:57,239
because I'm a major-league
broadcaster now.
22
00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:58,840
You lose! [GRUNTS]
23
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,111
Ha!
24
00:01:00,136 --> 00:01:02,449
Can you see these babies
through your mouth hole,
25
00:01:02,450 --> 00:01:04,249
you... you piece of shit?!
26
00:01:04,250 --> 00:01:08,320
- [CHEERING]
- Major-league broadcaster, baby!
27
00:01:08,413 --> 00:01:09,452
[SCREAMS]
28
00:01:09,940 --> 00:01:11,839
You lose, I win!
29
00:01:11,899 --> 00:01:13,179
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
30
00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:18,120
Because I am a major-league
broadcaster, baby!
31
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:19,999
Ha ha ha ha ha!
32
00:01:20,213 --> 00:01:22,115
That don't impress me, bitch.
33
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And you still can't eat this ass.
34
00:01:24,610 --> 00:01:26,106
See, I... Are you sure, though?
35
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:27,889
You know, 'cause the butthole
and the vagina,
36
00:01:27,914 --> 00:01:29,079
they're connected in pleasure.
37
00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:30,609
That's why they're so close together.
38
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It's like yin and yang, ass and tang.
39
00:01:32,748 --> 00:01:34,549
No, g... Unh!
40
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:35,810
[GRUNTS]
41
00:01:35,820 --> 00:01:37,419
I win. Major-league broadcaster.
42
00:01:37,466 --> 00:01:38,626
[GRUNTS]
43
00:01:40,186 --> 00:01:41,285
[GRUNTS]
44
00:01:41,366 --> 00:01:43,905
♪♪
45
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:45,489
[BELL DINGS]
46
00:01:45,737 --> 00:01:46,979
♪♪
47
00:01:47,060 --> 00:01:48,567
CHARLES: So, have you given any thought
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00:01:48,592 --> 00:01:50,770
to what's gonna happen
to me with Atlanta?
49
00:01:51,063 --> 00:01:53,445
I'm pretty sure they don't want
a 19-year-old producer
50
00:01:53,470 --> 00:01:54,638
who doesn't like baseball.
51
00:01:54,663 --> 00:01:56,639
Oh, no, Charles. I got your back.
52
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:59,169
Are you kidding me?
Have I ever let you down before?
53
00:01:59,221 --> 00:02:00,639
You literally do it every day.
54
00:02:00,664 --> 00:02:03,360
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! Daddy's thirsty.
55
00:02:03,466 --> 00:02:05,135
[LIQUID SLOSHING]
56
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:06,359
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
57
00:02:06,423 --> 00:02:08,092
Congratulations!
58
00:02:08,153 --> 00:02:10,952
I just came in to drop off
your Atlanta itinerary.
59
00:02:10,980 --> 00:02:13,189
- Hold.
- [CHUCKLES]
60
00:02:13,228 --> 00:02:14,719
- We leave tomorrow?
- Mm-hmm.
61
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,042
And I have some other amazing news.
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00:02:17,083 --> 00:02:20,552
What if I told you
that you're going to be
63
00:02:20,652 --> 00:02:22,592
a major-league broadcaster?
64
00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:26,548
I would like it.
65
00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:27,763
I like it so much,
66
00:02:27,788 --> 00:02:29,664
I've been screaming it into
the face of my enemies.
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00:02:29,689 --> 00:02:31,275
Didn't you just
congratulate me for that?
68
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:32,359
I don't understand what's happening.
69
00:02:32,383 --> 00:02:33,272
You didn't let me finish.
70
00:02:33,297 --> 00:02:35,312
I was pausing for dramatic effect.
71
00:02:35,379 --> 00:02:36,797
Well, it just seemed
like you were done.
72
00:02:36,822 --> 00:02:37,842
Yeah, thank you, Charles.
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00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:39,879
I do pride myself
on my ability to honor
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00:02:39,935 --> 00:02:41,282
the flow of conversation.
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00:02:41,307 --> 00:02:42,636
What if I told you that you're gonna be
76
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,718
a major-league broadcaster tomorrow?
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00:02:44,766 --> 00:02:47,465
Tomorrow? But that's the last
game of the season, isn't it?
78
00:02:47,490 --> 00:02:49,024
That's Art Newlie's last game.
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00:02:49,066 --> 00:02:51,526
And he's going to call it with you.
80
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:55,204
I pitched a co-booth as
a symbolic passing of the torch.
81
00:02:55,233 --> 00:02:58,054
From a PR standpoint, it doesn't
really get much better.
82
00:02:58,079 --> 00:02:59,882
[GASPS] Oh, my God!
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00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,131
This view.
84
00:03:01,156 --> 00:03:02,914
Oh, you can see that new Starbucks
85
00:03:02,939 --> 00:03:04,739
- where they have the wine!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
86
00:03:04,764 --> 00:03:07,795
- Oh! Oh, oh!
- Oh, God! Oh, God! Help!
87
00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:09,539
Here. Flush it out with some water.
Here you are. Oh! Oh!
88
00:03:09,540 --> 00:03:11,109
- Why's it burning?
- Here you go, here you go.
89
00:03:11,110 --> 00:03:13,049
- Flush it out.
- Oh! Oh, God, that hurts worse!
90
00:03:13,050 --> 00:03:14,716
Wait, no, no! That's the gin!
That's the gin!
91
00:03:14,741 --> 00:03:16,190
- That's the gin!
- Oh, God damn it!
92
00:03:16,215 --> 00:03:17,224
Where's the water?
93
00:03:17,249 --> 00:03:19,187
- Here you go, here you go. That's water.
- Here. This...
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00:03:19,219 --> 00:03:21,307
Oh, God. Oh, my God, Jim.
95
00:03:21,353 --> 00:03:22,822
Oh, my God!
96
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,675
Jim, have you been drinking?!
97
00:03:24,729 --> 00:03:26,002
Oh, my God!
98
00:03:26,056 --> 00:03:28,657
Have you been drinking
in the booth all season?
99
00:03:28,826 --> 00:03:30,775
Are you... Are you drunk right now?
100
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,100
Is this... Is this who you are?!
101
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,192
Yes, yes, yes...
102
00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:39,905
...and yes.
103
00:03:39,976 --> 00:03:41,645
I wasn't pausing
for dramatic effect there.
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00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,149
I was genuinely deliberating.
105
00:03:43,305 --> 00:03:45,409
This... [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
This is who I am.
106
00:03:45,567 --> 00:03:47,420
No, no, no, no, no. I told them
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00:03:47,453 --> 00:03:48,879
that you were under control.
108
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,419
This... This is not "under control."
109
00:03:51,420 --> 00:03:54,531
This... This is the definition
of "out of control"!
110
00:03:54,556 --> 00:03:56,619
Whoa, wa... Whoa! That's
some top-shelf hiding whiskey
111
00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:58,220
you're... you're waving around there.
112
00:03:58,230 --> 00:03:59,544
Jim...
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00:03:59,623 --> 00:04:02,223
my reputation is on the line.
114
00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:05,441
You cannot drink in the booth with Art.
115
00:04:05,489 --> 00:04:08,504
Well, we have faced this problem
one time before,
116
00:04:08,529 --> 00:04:10,229
and we came up with
a very elegant solution.
117
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:12,769
You see, we soak a tampon...
118
00:04:12,885 --> 00:04:16,193
Stay with me... in whiskey,
and then we insert it...
119
00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:17,840
No. It's all right. I don't mind.
120
00:04:17,976 --> 00:04:20,039
I can even jog with that baby in there.
121
00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:22,685
Okay. No alcohol!
122
00:04:22,780 --> 00:04:25,119
If Art sees you drunk in this booth,
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00:04:25,220 --> 00:04:27,450
this whole thing is over, okay?
124
00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:32,178
You have to promise me that
you will call this game sober.
125
00:04:33,686 --> 00:04:36,611
W-Well, it's... this is
the single most important game
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00:04:36,636 --> 00:04:38,929
of my career, so, of course, Whitney,
127
00:04:38,954 --> 00:04:40,654
I will definitely call it sober.
128
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,485
Good.
129
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:51,600
♪♪
130
00:04:52,097 --> 00:04:53,227
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
131
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,879
This is a bad time, but, um...
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00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:58,653
tomorrow's not gonna work for me.
133
00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:01,689
JIM: Look, you're coming
to Atlanta, Charles.
134
00:05:01,724 --> 00:05:02,919
I'm sorry, but I need you there.
135
00:05:02,944 --> 00:05:04,271
Charles: I have a meeting
with a potential sponsor
136
00:05:04,295 --> 00:05:05,384
for the podcast.
137
00:05:05,409 --> 00:05:06,911
You gotta cancel it, Charles. I'm s...
138
00:05:06,936 --> 00:05:08,959
Wait, I'm gonna level with you, okay?
139
00:05:09,011 --> 00:05:10,357
When I get nervous,
140
00:05:10,382 --> 00:05:12,621
I have a little bit
of a drinking problem.
141
00:05:12,670 --> 00:05:14,899
[LAUGHING] I have never seen you sober.
142
00:05:14,975 --> 00:05:17,054
That's maintenance, right?
That's medicinal.
143
00:05:17,079 --> 00:05:18,747
But under high pressure, I just...
144
00:05:18,772 --> 00:05:20,800
I ratchet it up, like, 12 notches.
145
00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:22,433
Well, then d-dip off to the bathroom
146
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,720
and take a few nips between innings.
147
00:05:24,750 --> 00:05:27,445
No, no. Once you pop,
you just can't stop.
148
00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:28,855
Like... Pringles?
149
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,155
No, more like poppers, Charles.
150
00:05:30,180 --> 00:05:31,649
Like amyl nitrate.
151
00:05:31,802 --> 00:05:33,427
See this little bad boy right here?
152
00:05:33,452 --> 00:05:36,321
This both raises the libido
and acts as a muscle relaxant.
153
00:05:36,346 --> 00:05:38,888
This is the Bo Jackson of sexual aids.
154
00:05:38,913 --> 00:05:42,343
Just... don't drink for one half day.
155
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:44,505
Do you hear yourself? Do you
hear how insane you sound?
156
00:05:44,530 --> 00:05:46,629
Charles! I am an addict, all right?
157
00:05:46,630 --> 00:05:48,436
It's taking every ounce
of restraint I have
158
00:05:48,461 --> 00:05:50,445
not to sniff this entire bottle
right now.
159
00:05:50,470 --> 00:05:51,860
If I don't drink in that booth,
160
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,754
I'm gonna get antsy,
I'm gonna get the shakes.
161
00:05:53,810 --> 00:05:56,378
I'm liable to rip
Art Newlie's head right off.
162
00:05:56,403 --> 00:05:59,809
Be real easy, too. I'll just grab the
loose, old skin around his neck,
163
00:05:59,810 --> 00:06:01,210
and I'll just... [POPS LIPS]
164
00:06:01,264 --> 00:06:03,419
Okay! I will go with you to Atlanta.
165
00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:07,089
I will make sure you get into
the booth sober and not murdery.
166
00:06:07,245 --> 00:06:08,665
Thank you. Thank you.
167
00:06:08,730 --> 00:06:12,330
But as soon as you're settled,
I'm on a plane.
168
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:16,255
I know you don't care
about podcasting, but I do.
169
00:06:16,773 --> 00:06:18,473
Fine! Whatever.
170
00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:23,758
Ooh!
171
00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:26,885
Uh... I'm gonna wanna make a quick stop
172
00:06:26,910 --> 00:06:28,998
on Craigslist casual encounters
173
00:06:29,023 --> 00:06:30,979
before we hit the airport.
174
00:06:31,039 --> 00:06:33,939
[CHUCKLES] Ooh.
175
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:43,980
♪♪
176
00:06:45,630 --> 00:06:53,630
♪♪
177
00:06:54,570 --> 00:06:56,976
This is one of Art's
game day traditions.
178
00:06:57,029 --> 00:06:58,359
He shakes everyone's hand
179
00:06:58,410 --> 00:07:01,116
and makes each person feel valuable.
180
00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:03,779
Hey, Jim Brockmire.
How are you, friend?
181
00:07:03,819 --> 00:07:05,126
- Art.
- Oh!
182
00:07:05,151 --> 00:07:07,855
I'm so pleased to be sharing
the booth with you today.
183
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:11,449
I cannot think of a better way
to tie a bow on this career.
184
00:07:11,506 --> 00:07:14,472
Well, Art, I am just so honored
to be a part of this.
185
00:07:14,590 --> 00:07:17,464
- This is my friend Charles.
- Charles.
186
00:07:17,530 --> 00:07:20,444
I heard you made quite an
impression on my production staff.
187
00:07:20,530 --> 00:07:22,490
You really know the ins and outs
of it all, don't you?
188
00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:24,059
Thank you. I try.
189
00:07:24,134 --> 00:07:26,029
Hi, Whitney. Pleasure, as always.
190
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,675
Uh, please excuse me.
191
00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:31,099
I've got to run down to
concessions and say my howdies
192
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:33,862
and, sadly, a couple goodbyes.
193
00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:35,570
Jim, I'll see you in the booth.
194
00:07:35,650 --> 00:07:37,480
Yes, you will, Art. [CHUCKLES]
195
00:07:39,424 --> 00:07:40,962
So long, Art.
196
00:07:41,310 --> 00:07:42,949
We should probably get going, too.
197
00:07:42,987 --> 00:07:44,665
I want to show Jim the production booth
198
00:07:44,690 --> 00:07:46,125
before I have to leave.
199
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:48,366
[SNIFFS] Hm.
200
00:07:48,490 --> 00:07:50,889
Sober, old-man breath... good.
201
00:07:50,990 --> 00:07:52,381
Let's keep it that way.
202
00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:56,544
- Here are your benzos.
- Shh, shh, shh, shh!
203
00:07:56,660 --> 00:07:59,445
Take one during the sixth
inning, and you should be fine.
204
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,399
No shakes, no crankiness.
205
00:08:01,799 --> 00:08:04,269
And that's almost everything.
206
00:08:08,668 --> 00:08:10,361
That's one tennis shoe.
207
00:08:10,410 --> 00:08:11,940
It's my lucky sneaker.
208
00:08:12,166 --> 00:08:13,749
I've had this in the booth with us
209
00:08:13,789 --> 00:08:15,049
since we got to New Orleans.
210
00:08:16,216 --> 00:08:18,665
So, what, is it, like, really expensive?
Is that why it's good?
211
00:08:18,690 --> 00:08:21,777
No. It's not...
It's not about the money.
212
00:08:21,890 --> 00:08:24,227
I got these right before I met you...
213
00:08:24,323 --> 00:08:26,822
Before everything in my life
started changing for the better.
214
00:08:26,870 --> 00:08:28,669
So, I-I'm supposed to wear it?
215
00:08:28,730 --> 00:08:31,427
No, you're not... not supposed to...
216
00:08:31,452 --> 00:08:32,787
You know what?
217
00:08:34,876 --> 00:08:36,892
- Good luck.
- Whew!
218
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,832
Don't shit the bed.
219
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,539
I shall try.
220
00:08:41,927 --> 00:08:44,126
- So, I don't wear it?
- Don't wear it.
221
00:08:44,206 --> 00:08:45,206
Okay.
222
00:08:47,980 --> 00:08:55,980
♪♪
223
00:08:57,762 --> 00:08:59,092
[SIGHS]
224
00:08:59,176 --> 00:09:01,769
[KNOCK ON DOOR, DOOR OPENS]
225
00:09:02,449 --> 00:09:04,429
Are you ready to call a ballgame?
226
00:09:04,555 --> 00:09:06,209
Ohh, ready as I'll ever be.
227
00:09:06,263 --> 00:09:07,802
[LAUGHING] All right.
228
00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:11,572
Hey, listen, Jim, I'm not
usually one for spirits,
229
00:09:11,632 --> 00:09:14,485
but the grounds crew chipped in
230
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:17,247
and got me this bottle
as a retirement gift,
231
00:09:17,343 --> 00:09:20,942
and I would truly love
to share a drink with you
232
00:09:20,967 --> 00:09:23,406
as my way of passing the torch along.
233
00:09:23,450 --> 00:09:25,103
Oh, Art, that's so kind.
234
00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:26,994
Oh, but I... no, I have
to politely decline.
235
00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:28,193
- Oh, now.
- No,
236
00:09:28,218 --> 00:09:29,743
I never touch it when I'm on the clock.
237
00:09:29,780 --> 00:09:32,079
It's just... it's kinda who I am.
[CHUCKLES]
238
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,430
What's one drink?
239
00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:37,857
And besides, you cannot
deny a man his last wish.
240
00:09:37,932 --> 00:09:39,401
- Hmm?
- Well...
241
00:09:39,605 --> 00:09:40,639
Um...
242
00:09:40,676 --> 00:09:42,092
Hm.
243
00:09:42,904 --> 00:09:45,179
Oh, that... that smells
like good bourbon, too.
244
00:09:45,272 --> 00:09:46,732
Bourbon, right? I don't... Mm.
245
00:09:46,790 --> 00:09:49,776
...know all the names
of the... of the drinks.
246
00:09:50,563 --> 00:09:52,193
JIM: McCalpin working with two outs
247
00:09:52,218 --> 00:09:53,963
and a full count here
in the top of the fourth.
248
00:09:53,988 --> 00:09:55,449
And here comes a pitch.
249
00:09:55,588 --> 00:09:58,042
Strike three swinging. My goodness.
250
00:09:58,086 --> 00:10:00,125
Chillcut pathetically waved at that one
251
00:10:00,150 --> 00:10:02,732
like he just recognized his
ex-girlfriend across the bar,
252
00:10:02,837 --> 00:10:04,506
- didn't he, Art?
- [LAUGHS]
253
00:10:04,531 --> 00:10:06,130
Oh, that's great.
254
00:10:06,159 --> 00:10:08,289
Straight zeroes
across the board, folks.
255
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,761
Looks like fate has decided
to give us a game
256
00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:12,441
that we're gonna remember.
257
00:10:12,576 --> 00:10:13,929
Stay with us, would ya?
258
00:10:14,056 --> 00:10:15,351
[LAUGHING] Oh.
259
00:10:15,444 --> 00:10:18,252
That's a great call, Jim.
That's real fun.
260
00:10:18,340 --> 00:10:20,602
Yeah, I could tell
you were a real baseball man.
261
00:10:20,627 --> 00:10:23,677
Oh, Art, I am. I tell you,
I just... I love this game.
262
00:10:23,740 --> 00:10:25,447
Oh, good. That's gonna
work out just fine.
263
00:10:25,472 --> 00:10:26,500
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
264
00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:28,776
And hey, how about
McCalpin's arm today?
265
00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:30,219
- What?
- My G... Hey.
266
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,149
He throws a no-hitter
on your final game,
267
00:10:32,201 --> 00:10:34,243
this stadium is gonna lose their minds.
268
00:10:34,283 --> 00:10:35,883
- Wouldn't that be something?
- Oh.
269
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,219
But, hey... Shh, shh, shh, shh.
270
00:10:37,244 --> 00:10:39,195
Let's just let that lie, shall we?
271
00:10:39,260 --> 00:10:41,261
Of course. No, no, no. Say no more.
272
00:10:42,116 --> 00:10:43,415
- Hey!
- [LAUGHING] All right.
273
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:45,139
I think this thing must be working.
274
00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:47,127
- It was a gift.
- Oh?
275
00:10:47,152 --> 00:10:50,041
From my friend Charles.
He said it was good luck.
276
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:52,620
Yeah, that young friend of yours
sure seems like a hard worker.
277
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:55,109
I tell you what, you lucked out.
You picked a good 'un.
278
00:10:55,201 --> 00:10:57,064
Oh, don't I know it. Don't I know it.
279
00:10:57,089 --> 00:10:59,033
You know, they say
they're all lazy and entitled,
280
00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:00,151
but not Charles.
281
00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:02,229
That's 'cause their fathers
don't stick around.
282
00:11:02,254 --> 00:11:03,423
- Is that right?
- Mm.
283
00:11:03,448 --> 00:11:04,690
I hadn't heard that about Millennials.
284
00:11:04,714 --> 00:11:07,535
No. Millennials?
I'm talking about the coloreds.
285
00:11:08,721 --> 00:11:09,995
Oh.
286
00:11:11,257 --> 00:11:13,256
You know, Art, I-I'm not sure
I can remember the last time
287
00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:16,397
I heard that term used,
uh, uh... "coloreds."
288
00:11:16,461 --> 00:11:18,391
Yeah, well, the term is antiquated,
289
00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:20,600
but so am I.
290
00:11:20,694 --> 00:11:23,863
Yeah, I just don't care
for this PC nonsense.
291
00:11:24,071 --> 00:11:26,652
It's like, what is
this country coming to?
292
00:11:26,707 --> 00:11:31,116
You know, they almost put
a sand jockey in my seat.
293
00:11:31,397 --> 00:11:32,885
Boy, howdy.
294
00:11:33,437 --> 00:11:34,906
Bottom of the fourth,
295
00:11:34,931 --> 00:11:38,631
and we have got a doozy on our hands.
296
00:11:42,867 --> 00:11:44,724
Atlanta's got something cooking here
297
00:11:44,758 --> 00:11:48,264
in the bottom of the eighth
of this very special game.
298
00:11:48,677 --> 00:11:51,845
And that ball is hit very right
out to right-center field.
299
00:11:51,870 --> 00:11:54,999
And, like Ben Affleck's
depressing directorial debut,
300
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:58,351
that one is gonna be
"Gone Baby Gone"! Mm!
301
00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:01,592
Burnett with the big bat
puts Atlanta out in front
302
00:12:01,619 --> 00:12:04,488
- by a count of 4-0.
- Yeah, but it's a shame
303
00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:07,217
he had to do a bat flip there,
isn't it, Jim?
304
00:12:07,272 --> 00:12:09,940
Just another poor display
of sportsmanship.
305
00:12:09,965 --> 00:12:11,495
[CHUCKLING] Oh, I don't know, Art.
306
00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,522
Seems like a young man
just enjoying himself
307
00:12:13,547 --> 00:12:15,015
on the final game of the season to me.
308
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,439
Well, call me a purist, Jim,
309
00:12:16,482 --> 00:12:18,982
but I-I say play the game
the right way.
310
00:12:19,204 --> 00:12:21,675
Well, that... that really is
important to you, isn't it, Art?
311
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:23,621
I mean, things being pure.
312
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,743
Hernandez chops one to first,
313
00:12:25,768 --> 00:12:27,107
and that will be...
314
00:12:27,152 --> 00:12:29,151
out number three.
315
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,309
The ninth inning when we return, folks.
316
00:12:31,499 --> 00:12:33,109
[CHEERING]
317
00:12:33,192 --> 00:12:36,813
Jim, let me ask you something,
and feel free to say "no."
318
00:12:36,966 --> 00:12:38,765
Oh, please. What can I do for you, Art?
319
00:12:38,913 --> 00:12:41,913
Well, these next three outs
may be the last of my career,
320
00:12:41,938 --> 00:12:45,267
and I would just love to bring
this one home on my own.
321
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,659
- Would you mind?
- Oh, no problem.
322
00:12:47,823 --> 00:12:51,136
Well, appreciate it
and mighty white of you, sir.
323
00:12:51,590 --> 00:12:52,929
[LAUGHS]
324
00:12:53,297 --> 00:12:54,589
Would you pardon me
for just one moment?
325
00:12:54,613 --> 00:12:56,113
Mm!
326
00:12:57,142 --> 00:12:59,071
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
327
00:12:59,186 --> 00:13:01,455
♪♪
328
00:13:01,536 --> 00:13:02,866
[GROANS]
329
00:13:03,010 --> 00:13:08,609
♪♪
330
00:13:08,973 --> 00:13:10,091
WHITNEY: Jim!
331
00:13:10,345 --> 00:13:12,949
Can you believe this?!
This is so exciting!
332
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,419
Art's last game, and McCalpin is
three outs away from a no-hitter.
333
00:13:16,449 --> 00:13:18,667
Oh, my God. Is it a jinx if I
say it, or just if you say it?
334
00:13:18,692 --> 00:13:20,021
How does the broadcaster's jinx work?
335
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,382
You know what... I'm saying it.
336
00:13:21,407 --> 00:13:23,536
I'm saying it! It's storybook perfect!
337
00:13:23,628 --> 00:13:26,172
National networks
are doing live look-ins.
338
00:13:26,197 --> 00:13:27,596
This is huge for me.
339
00:13:27,621 --> 00:13:29,620
For you. For us. For baseball.
340
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:30,745
Most... Mostly me.
341
00:13:30,770 --> 00:13:32,030
[GIGGLES]
342
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:33,777
Are you drunk?
343
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,397
I started taking nips from your
binoculars to calm my nerves,
344
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:37,909
but then when things
started going so well,
345
00:13:37,910 --> 00:13:39,439
it turned into a celebration. I mean...
346
00:13:39,635 --> 00:13:41,534
[INHALES SHARPLY]
...this is the kind of night
347
00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:44,049
that careers are built on.
348
00:13:44,103 --> 00:13:45,682
- [GIGGLES]
- Yeah, that's great.
349
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,010
Are you aware that Art
is insanely racist?
350
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:51,226
Yeah. I mean t-that's why we're in such
a... such a hurry to push him out.
351
00:13:51,251 --> 00:13:52,965
But the only way
that Art will go quietly
352
00:13:52,990 --> 00:13:55,965
is if we promise to hand the
booth over to a "baseball man,"
353
00:13:55,990 --> 00:13:58,472
which is Art code for "a white guy."
354
00:13:58,678 --> 00:13:59,896
[GIGGLES]
355
00:14:00,202 --> 00:14:02,845
What are you telling me... that
I didn't really earn this job,
356
00:14:02,870 --> 00:14:04,696
that I didn't actually beat out Raj?
357
00:14:04,836 --> 00:14:06,765
[LAUGHING] Oh, no. Of course not.
358
00:14:06,793 --> 00:14:08,375
I mean, Raj is the best!
359
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,459
I gotta go.
360
00:14:09,519 --> 00:14:12,522
The... The binocular whiskey's
going right through me!
361
00:14:12,639 --> 00:14:13,898
[LAUGHS, ECHOES]
362
00:14:14,136 --> 00:14:15,740
[DOOR CLOSES]
363
00:14:15,824 --> 00:14:17,988
♪♪
364
00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:20,080
- [CROWD CHEERING]
- [MUTTERING]
365
00:14:24,301 --> 00:14:26,410
[DOOR CLOSES]
366
00:14:26,759 --> 00:14:27,759
Hey.
367
00:14:27,916 --> 00:14:29,587
Did your boy steal my wallet?
368
00:14:29,684 --> 00:14:31,089
I... Wha... I'm sorry?
369
00:14:31,335 --> 00:14:32,655
Well, I don't blame him.
370
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,009
It was my fault for leaving
it out when he was around.
371
00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:37,175
- [CHUCKLES]
- You know... I don't...
372
00:14:37,242 --> 00:14:40,299
- No, Charles didn't steal your wallet.
- Oh, really?
373
00:14:40,450 --> 00:14:42,332
- Yeah.
- How can you be so sure?
374
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,342
Uh, because Charles is the most
honest and hardworking person
375
00:14:45,380 --> 00:14:46,875
- I've ever met in my life.
- Oh.
376
00:14:46,910 --> 00:14:49,507
I mean, I'm bringing him on
as my producer next season.
377
00:14:49,532 --> 00:14:51,662
Oh, a producer? Here?
378
00:14:51,872 --> 00:14:53,662
Well, I won't let that happen.
379
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:55,922
Only real baseball men
allowed in this booth.
380
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:57,519
We'll talk about it later.
381
00:14:57,721 --> 00:14:58,781
Art, I...
382
00:14:58,890 --> 00:15:00,589
Boy, howdy, folks. [PILLS CLATTERING]
383
00:15:00,615 --> 00:15:03,709
A big ARTlanta hello
to our national viewers.
384
00:15:03,739 --> 00:15:06,175
Still zeroes across
the board for New York.
385
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,099
Let's see if our boys
can bring this one
386
00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:10,356
on home for supper.
387
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,030
Folks, you know what's funny?
388
00:15:12,127 --> 00:15:14,469
The younger generation,
they always love
389
00:15:14,524 --> 00:15:16,986
to talk about the elephant in the room,
390
00:15:17,011 --> 00:15:21,280
the one thing best left unsaid
in situations like this.
391
00:15:21,584 --> 00:15:27,005
Call me a traditionalist, but I
say let a sleeping dog lie.
392
00:15:27,287 --> 00:15:29,002
I don't know, Art.
Some conversations, though,
393
00:15:29,027 --> 00:15:30,327
they really do need to be had.
394
00:15:30,352 --> 00:15:32,733
I mean, some sleeping dogs,
they need to get woke.
395
00:15:32,758 --> 00:15:33,835
[PILLS CLATTER]
396
00:15:33,860 --> 00:15:36,048
Sometimes you gotta call
a spade a spade.
397
00:15:36,096 --> 00:15:38,927
This is not one of the times.
It's a tradition.
398
00:15:39,003 --> 00:15:40,164
- Folks, som...
- Yeah, but some traditions,
399
00:15:40,188 --> 00:15:41,472
shouldn't they die, Art?
400
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:44,277
For example, racism in this country.
401
00:15:44,379 --> 00:15:45,848
Jim, now's not the time...
402
00:15:45,876 --> 00:15:48,206
Did you or did you not just
recklessly accuse
403
00:15:48,231 --> 00:15:50,221
my friend Charles
of stealing your wallet?
404
00:15:50,310 --> 00:15:51,407
Art?
405
00:15:51,442 --> 00:15:53,841
- [CHUCKLES]
- Hm?
406
00:15:54,097 --> 00:15:56,696
Folks, what happened is,
my wallet went missing,
407
00:15:56,728 --> 00:15:59,831
and Jim's little friend was
the only kid in the booth.
408
00:15:59,856 --> 00:16:02,354
Yeah, no, he means the only
black kid in the booth, folks.
409
00:16:03,144 --> 00:16:04,192
WHITNEY: Oh, God.
410
00:16:04,217 --> 00:16:05,319
For the record, I happen
to have a beautiful
411
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,804
- relationship with the blacks.
- Oh, my God!
412
00:16:07,858 --> 00:16:10,118
Do you hear yourself anymore?
I mean, are you joking?!
413
00:16:10,149 --> 00:16:11,548
All right, cool off there, Sparky.
414
00:16:11,573 --> 00:16:13,302
This Atlanta heat's got you beat.
415
00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:15,974
Hey, Art, would that be your wallet?
416
00:16:16,116 --> 00:16:19,245
- Well, whoopsie-doopsie!
- "Oopsie-doopsie!"
417
00:16:19,319 --> 00:16:21,918
Really? That's all you
have to say for yourself?
418
00:16:21,946 --> 00:16:23,215
Oh, my God!
419
00:16:23,276 --> 00:16:25,476
Jim, uh, let's you and I
agree to disagree
420
00:16:25,501 --> 00:16:26,519
- and get back to the game.
- No, how about we
421
00:16:26,543 --> 00:16:27,742
disagree to agree, Art?
422
00:16:27,810 --> 00:16:30,220
Because, you know, I can't speak for all
the people of color in this country.
423
00:16:30,244 --> 00:16:33,115
I'm just one old white guy
telling another old white guy
424
00:16:33,140 --> 00:16:35,822
that we will not stand
this kind of hatred anymore.
425
00:16:35,926 --> 00:16:37,657
[JEERING] Oh, my God!
426
00:16:37,909 --> 00:16:41,844
Racism is the fist that's punching
American right in its own dick, Art.
427
00:16:41,878 --> 00:16:44,089
That's the conversation
we really should be having.
428
00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:46,472
Nobody cares about
your stupid no-hitter.
429
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:47,899
[BAT CRACKS]
430
00:16:47,945 --> 00:16:50,015
Oh, shit. There goes a no-hitter.
431
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:53,697
[SLURRING] And here comes the pitch.
432
00:16:54,936 --> 00:16:56,916
Oh! It's in the dirt!
433
00:16:57,096 --> 00:17:01,165
And nobody cares, God damn it,
because it's bourbon.
434
00:17:01,190 --> 00:17:02,555
It's not even a baseball.
435
00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:04,181
Shit. Why'd I spill that out?
436
00:17:04,206 --> 00:17:06,236
[SIGHS] There you are.
437
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,418
- Brockmire, you...
- Wow! Hey, oh!
438
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,221
- Son of a bitch!
- Hey! H-Hey!
439
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:11,447
Okay, okay!
440
00:17:11,472 --> 00:17:13,532
I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.
441
00:17:13,586 --> 00:17:14,946
You couldn't even stay sober
442
00:17:15,011 --> 00:17:16,909
- for one game!
- Oh, I was sober.
443
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,104
I was definitely sober. I swear to God.
444
00:17:19,129 --> 00:17:21,760
I'm not now,
but I-I called the game sober.
445
00:17:21,770 --> 00:17:24,759
- Then why?!
- Why?!
446
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:28,611
Art... I mean, he pretends
to be "Cosby Show" Bill Cosby,
447
00:17:28,636 --> 00:17:30,905
but he's actually
"hide your drinks" Bill Cosby.
448
00:17:30,930 --> 00:17:32,990
I mean, God damn it,
I had to say something.
449
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:34,952
No! No, you didn't!
450
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:38,279
All you had to do was
stay silent for three outs,
451
00:17:38,362 --> 00:17:40,210
but you couldn't do that, could you?
452
00:17:40,283 --> 00:17:43,280
I'm sorry. I am very sorry.
I really am. I...
453
00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:45,619
Hey, at least Raj gets the job now.
454
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:47,289
- Isn't that what you wanted?
- No.
455
00:17:47,290 --> 00:17:49,220
They won't hire Raj now
456
00:17:49,230 --> 00:17:51,940
because it'll look like
they're "caving to pressure."
457
00:17:51,965 --> 00:17:56,804
And they needed a scapegoat
for this televised pig fuck,
458
00:17:56,882 --> 00:18:00,142
[VOICE BREAKING] and they fired me!
459
00:18:00,686 --> 00:18:01,928
[SOBBING]
460
00:18:01,970 --> 00:18:04,983
All right, just give me two of
your best shots with that thing.
461
00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:07,946
Come on.
462
00:18:14,479 --> 00:18:16,839
[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE,
HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO]
463
00:18:16,990 --> 00:18:21,389
♪♪
464
00:18:21,776 --> 00:18:23,004
Charles, Charles, oh, my God.
465
00:18:23,029 --> 00:18:24,929
Look, look...
You're trending on Twitter.
466
00:18:25,009 --> 00:18:26,929
♪ CharlesWalletJinx.
467
00:18:27,082 --> 00:18:32,725
♪♪
468
00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:34,552
Oh, no.
469
00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:36,669
[BOTTLES RATTLE]
470
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,845
♪♪
471
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:41,451
Uh, Charles?
472
00:18:41,540 --> 00:18:44,322
Why does my apartment
look like young, black Google?
473
00:18:44,382 --> 00:18:46,257
You weren't supposed
to be back this early.
474
00:18:46,319 --> 00:18:48,893
Oh, well, when you shit the bed,
you kinda have to find
475
00:18:48,918 --> 00:18:50,447
a new place to sleep, and I did that.
476
00:18:50,509 --> 00:18:54,364
Ooh, I took an ungodly dump
on my hotel bed.
477
00:18:54,499 --> 00:18:56,020
Figured I'd come on home early.
478
00:18:56,045 --> 00:18:58,518
What i... What's going on in here?
479
00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:01,001
I'm starting a few other podcasts.
480
00:19:01,202 --> 00:19:03,472
You did all this in the last 12 hours?
481
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,480
The last three months, actually.
482
00:19:06,570 --> 00:19:07,967
Wow!
483
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:10,454
So, this is our staff, huh?
484
00:19:10,710 --> 00:19:12,170
Hey, Two Hands.
485
00:19:12,423 --> 00:19:14,304
Hi, yes. Hi.
486
00:19:14,380 --> 00:19:16,321
Do me a favor...
Get me a Bloody Mary, please.
487
00:19:16,346 --> 00:19:18,209
My head is just pounding.
488
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:20,719
Uh, actually...
489
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,489
Jim, this is my team.
490
00:19:23,342 --> 00:19:24,801
You can't be involved.
491
00:19:24,988 --> 00:19:27,359
What do you mean,
I can't be involved? Why not?
492
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,278
Well, it's called Gradient.
493
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,522
And it's a podcast media company.
494
00:19:31,660 --> 00:19:34,765
It's gonna be podcasts
by people of color...
495
00:19:34,989 --> 00:19:37,420
for people of color.
496
00:19:38,509 --> 00:19:40,719
Well, um, what about that guy?
497
00:19:42,341 --> 00:19:43,750
Oh, that's Garret.
498
00:19:43,829 --> 00:19:45,577
He's just cool.
499
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,234
- Well, I can be cool.
- No, you can't.
500
00:19:49,504 --> 00:19:53,567
Yeah, he's actually right.
You can't be cool. Sorry.
501
00:19:53,592 --> 00:19:55,039
Um, who the hell is that?
502
00:19:55,146 --> 00:19:56,776
This is Yvonne.
503
00:19:58,196 --> 00:19:59,665
She's my girlfriend.
504
00:19:59,690 --> 00:20:01,219
Your girl... You have a girlfriend?
505
00:20:01,244 --> 00:20:02,660
- And you didn't tell me about it?
- I'm sorry.
506
00:20:02,684 --> 00:20:05,090
You were supposed to go
to Atlanta and stay.
507
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,457
What was I gonna do?
I started my own thing.
508
00:20:07,517 --> 00:20:09,560
Well, I didn't get Atlanta
509
00:20:09,570 --> 00:20:11,769
'cause I was too busy
sticking up for you!
510
00:20:11,854 --> 00:20:13,430
I didn't ask you to do that!
511
00:20:13,609 --> 00:20:18,194
If I was there, I would have
told you 100% do not do that.
512
00:20:18,219 --> 00:20:19,856
Art was on his way out.
513
00:20:19,980 --> 00:20:21,639
What could you possibly
have accomplished?
514
00:20:21,719 --> 00:20:24,849
I was protecting you
from racism, Charles!
515
00:20:25,092 --> 00:20:27,052
WOMAN: Ohhhh.
516
00:20:27,153 --> 00:20:28,929
Mm, mm, mm.
517
00:20:29,089 --> 00:20:30,889
It... It's actually kinda cute.
518
00:20:30,890 --> 00:20:32,189
I've heard enough out of you, Yoko.
519
00:20:32,452 --> 00:20:33,919
Actually, Yoko was a very talented,
520
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:35,120
avant-garde performance artist.
521
00:20:35,154 --> 00:20:36,989
I-I don't know what you are.
522
00:20:37,042 --> 00:20:41,081
I experience racism every day.
523
00:20:41,372 --> 00:20:43,981
I have to deal with racism before
I deal with my morning wood.
524
00:20:44,262 --> 00:20:46,350
It's something I'm used to.
525
00:20:46,504 --> 00:20:48,605
I can handle it.
526
00:20:48,740 --> 00:20:51,811
You experience racism one time,
527
00:20:51,893 --> 00:20:54,922
and you flip out
and throw everything away.
528
00:20:54,947 --> 00:20:56,609
I threw every... I did?!
529
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,479
You're the one who's jumping
ship first chance you get.
530
00:20:59,533 --> 00:21:01,279
And I gotta tell you
something, Charles,
531
00:21:01,346 --> 00:21:02,972
you would be nothing without me.
532
00:21:02,997 --> 00:21:05,126
Without me, you would still
be in Morristown.
533
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:07,759
Oh, that is absolutely true!
534
00:21:07,881 --> 00:21:13,196
♪♪
535
00:21:13,453 --> 00:21:15,187
All right, look, I want you
and your friends
536
00:21:15,212 --> 00:21:17,099
out of here right now.
537
00:21:17,175 --> 00:21:18,944
I own this loft.
538
00:21:19,021 --> 00:21:20,123
Not you.
539
00:21:21,726 --> 00:21:23,266
So, I'm gonna ask you to leave.
540
00:21:25,803 --> 00:21:27,423
Fine.
541
00:21:27,580 --> 00:21:28,709
[SCOFFS]
542
00:21:28,809 --> 00:21:30,954
♪♪
543
00:21:31,563 --> 00:21:32,849
I have to get some clean underwear.
544
00:21:32,876 --> 00:21:35,049
I wasn't kidding about
that ungodly dump.
545
00:21:35,202 --> 00:21:37,442
♪♪
546
00:21:37,673 --> 00:21:41,673
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