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This programme contains
strong language and adult humour
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Don't look away.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
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Don't put that on telly!
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Ooh!
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I might just do this all day.
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Argh!
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This is weird.
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It's so tight.
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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Hello!
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Hello! Welcome to Taskmaster,
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a show that seeks to take
a reputation
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and reimagine it.
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Cows are cows, aren't they?
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But imagine a cow being
forced to tap dance.
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What is it then?
It's not a cow, that's for sure.
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So, let us open the shed
and chase them into the field.
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The farmer has plans for Daisy
and her friends,
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and you'll never drink a glass
of milk in the same way again.
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My God, it's hard
to keep writing these intros!
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LAUGHTER
Regardless...
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...please welcome back
Amy Gledhill...
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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...Armando Iannucci...
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Oooh!
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...Joanna Page...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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...Joel Dommett and Kumail Nanjiani.
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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And next to me, a man who says
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we should go back
to a more simple time
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when children had manners,
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there was a bobby on every street
and women were, let's just say,
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a little more hirsute downstairs.
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His words.
I don't know what he meant, either.
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It's little Alex Horne.
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Just personal taste.
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That's it.
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Sorry.
I don't want to make eye contact
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with anyone in the audience now.
OK, good.
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Hello, Greg.
What's the warm-up chat?
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Well, I want to say hello to you,
Greg.
42
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And I want to say hello
to all my people watching at home.
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I see you and you see me,
and you like puzzles.
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So if you're one of my people,
45
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I'm going to show you a puzzle.
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Press pause and then press unpause
when you've solved it.
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Here we go. Good luck. Not that one.
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There we go.
That's my bit done, Greg.
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Oh, God. Yeah.
50
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Let's crack on with the prize task.
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Get this. They've all brought in
the best bumpy thing.
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Ooh!
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Oh.
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This, this is a bumpy...
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This is a bum-py thi...
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Doesn't matter. Um...
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But what bumpy thing
have they brought in?
58
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He's got a pea under his bum.
A bum-PEA.
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Well, I'm sure Greg will score
this really quickly
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and fairly with five points
for the best bumpy thing.
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So, go on, then, Greg.
Go for it, mate.
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Amy, hello. Hello, hello.
You all right?
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Have you got some bumpy stuff? Yeah.
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Can I just ask what hirsute means?
Hairy.
65
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Hairy! Mm-hm. Hairy, yeah.
OK, that's all right.
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00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,280
Yeah. What did you think
it might have meant?
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00:02:58,720 --> 00:02:59,720
More...
68
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,919
I'm trying to think of a better word
for open.
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LAUGHTER
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You...
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But hairy's fine. That's good.
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You thought that Alex wanted ladies
to be a little more dilated?
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LAUGHTER
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Yeah.
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Ah! Right, Amy,
tell me about your bumpy thing.
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I have brought...
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THEY LAUGH
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It just didn't jump well
from the last chat.
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00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:41,839
I have brought in a plane ticket
from London to Venice.
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Yes, she has. Yeah.
Notoriously turbulent flight route.
81
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Here's the ticket.
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And if you fly specifically
in March,
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that's when it's most turbulent,
but never too turbulent,
84
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:53,839
where it's frightening.
85
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:55,160
It's just a little...
86
00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,359
Unfortunately, it's one-way
87
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so you will stay in Venice
because I'm not buying you
88
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:03,759
a return, as well.
89
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,679
I'm genuinely a bit floored.
90
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,559
I didn't expect you
to bring a good thing in.
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Well done.
92
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,039
Armando,
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you can take us down, surely.
I'll give it a go.
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00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,079
But I think you'll be surprised.
All right.
95
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,279
I thought, "Let's go for something
that's already very good,
96
00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:19,159
"but maybe not accessible
to everyone
97
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:22,079
"and make it even better
by making it bumpy."
98
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:25,319
It's a Braille menu
to an Indian restaurant.
99
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,159
Wow. Here we go.
A Braille curry menu. There it is.
100
00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,199
There we go.
101
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:30,879
And of course,
the great thing is
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if I score that badly,
103
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,279
I will alienate
the visually-impaired community.
104
00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:36,599
Exactly.
105
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,960
So, it's... It may not be funny,
but it's very clever.
106
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,039
Hello, Joanna. Hello.
107
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I've brought in...
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HE LAUGHS
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...Mr Bump.
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Here is Joanna's Mr Bump.
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Now, I made Mr Bump
when I was about 16
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in school for an art project.
16!?
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00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,759
Yeah. Wow.
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00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,799
He's on a glass bottle,
115
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:05,679
which I've painted,
and he's made with a papier mache,
116
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very bumpy head.
117
00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:09,399
And my parents have kept him
in the shed
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00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:12,599
at the bottom of their garden
ever since I made him.
119
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,279
And it was only recently
that I realised how awful that is,
120
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:17,079
because they're always like,
121
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,879
"Oh, yeah, we got him on the shelf
in the shed."
122
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And, "Oh, look, he's still there."
123
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And he's never, ever been
in the house.
124
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,319
If you presented that
to your parents
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when you were 16, I think
you should count yourself lucky
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00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,000
that you weren't sent to
a boarding school.
127
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,479
Hi, Joel. Hello.
128
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:38,039
I've brought in a picture
of my acne-ridden teenage face.
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Ooh, no! Ah! Oh!
130
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,639
And if you zoom in
to the forehead...
131
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:43,999
Is that Braille?
132
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That looks like Braille.
133
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,079
I've made the acne Braille,
and it says,
134
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,159
"Don't worry, things get easier."
135
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,359
Aw! Aw!
136
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So try scoring that badly.
137
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,039
Very good.
138
00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:58,199
Kumail.
139
00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,879
Hi. Hi, there.
140
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,919
What bumpy thing
have you brought us?
141
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:05,919
So, what's a really great
bumpy thing to ride?
142
00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:09,719
A r... Ree...
...oller coaster. Roller-coaster.
143
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:11,879
So, this, I brought in
the original plans
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for the Cyclone.
145
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It was made in 1927.
146
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So, you see, that's plans for that.
And then, there's some...
147
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,239
It says,
"Look at the bottom left corner."
148
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:23,519
Do you want us to look at
the bottom left?
149
00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:24,639
And then,
go to the bottom left corner.
150
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,279
"You seem lovely.
Look at number 12." Number 12?
151
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:30,479
Go to number 12. Number 12, there,
yeah. "You have herpes..."
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LAUGHTER
153
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,679
"..see top right." Right.
OK, there we go.
154
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,319
"Just kidding, you don't have
herpes..." Phew. Right. OK.
155
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,479
"Look under the coaster."
Under the coaster. Let's go there.
156
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:40,919
Yep. There we go.
157
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,399
"It's actually not a big deal
to have herpes.
158
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:45,239
"You shouldn't stigmatise.
Turn this over."
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00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:46,719
And over.
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"That was a bumpy ride!"
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It was a bumpy ride!
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Oh!
APPLAUSE
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Must be a relief for you, as well.
164
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,240
Yeah.
165
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,759
So, it's a roller-coaster
and an emotional roller-coaster.
166
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,160
I got it, yeah. Thank you.
167
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,999
A lot of these are very sensible.
Yeah.
168
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Joanna's little project?
Oh, thank God.
169
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:12,280
Right, Joanna, one point.
170
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,079
What's next? I don't know why,
the flight to Venice.
171
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,559
No! Yeah. You shouldn't be so tight.
172
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,839
If you'd done a return flight,
I'd have been...
173
00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:24,560
It was really expensive!
174
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,479
You've got to speculate
to accumulate. Two points.
175
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,239
Two points. Well done, Amy. Shit!
176
00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:31,999
I'm going to go to Armando.
177
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,039
OK. I think he'd forgotten
the prize,
178
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,719
and he'd had a curry
the night before,
179
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,719
and he brought that in. Three
points.
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00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,599
OK, three to Armando.
181
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,719
I actually found your Braille thing
absolutely adorable.
182
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,519
I like the idea
of you reassuring your teenage self.
183
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:47,119
It's very sweet. But that...
184
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,319
Oh, I loved all that. Thank you!
185
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:52,319
Five points to Kumail Nanjiani's
emotional roller-coaster.
186
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:54,439
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
187
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:55,479
What's first?
188
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:56,559
Good news, everyone,
189
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,999
because this task is
a bit of a turn on.
190
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,800
Oh!
Ooh!
191
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,639
Hello, Alex. Joel Patrick Dommett.
192
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:17,119
Oh, I love the full name.
193
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,079
How do you feel about the table?
194
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,520
The table itself? Hmm.
195
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:22,760
It's all right.
196
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,960
Solid. Four grand.
197
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:29,560
Then I'd maybe...
198
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,639
...expect a bit more.
199
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:33,799
But I don't know what the task is.
200
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,999
Maybe the table is going to come
to life and dance,
201
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,479
and I have to do
the same dance moves as the table.
202
00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,119
LED party lights?
203
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,239
We know how to party in the UK.
204
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,320
Yeah, with lights?
Two of them. Big ones.
205
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,040
Those aren't that big.
You should see American lights.
206
00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:54,199
Should I open this bad boy?
Yes, please, JPD.
207
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,839
Let's have a look.
208
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,999
"Turn on the telly."
209
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,959
"You may not touch the telly.
210
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,279
"Fewest button presses wins."
211
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:04,680
"Your time starts now."
212
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,159
That's the telly? That's the telly.
213
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:10,239
Just one telly? Mm-hm.
214
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:11,999
So, I just turn on the telly, right?
215
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,999
Yes, please, yeah,
if you wouldn't mind.
216
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,999
But what's your game here?
217
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,479
What are you up to, Horne?
218
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,480
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hmm.
219
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,200
I really enjoyed suspicious Amy.
220
00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:29,319
Shall we see some stuff?
221
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:33,079
OK, well, Amy and Joanna
are first up to take control.
222
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,119
"Fewest button presses?"
223
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,759
OK, well, I want to go straight in
for these,
224
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,479
but it's obviously going
to be wrong.
225
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:39,880
"Turn on the telly."
226
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,119
We're going blue, are we?
We're blue.
227
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,120
Oh, my gosh!
228
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,560
SHE LAUGHS
229
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,639
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
230
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,719
OK. Did you just turn it off,
as well? Thank you.
231
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,839
That's two button presses.
OK. Right.
232
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,519
OK. I'm going to go in
and try all of them
233
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,120
because it's going to turn
something on.
234
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:05,919
That's not turning anything on.
235
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,320
Oh, and I keep pressing it, don't I?
236
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:10,999
No, not that one.
237
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,160
Oh!
238
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,199
It's not red. Oh!
Oh, that's nice, though.
239
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,520
Right. I'm going to press
them all. Right.
240
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,880
Is that an egg? Do I turn it off?
241
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,320
SHE LAUGHS
242
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,080
I've got two batteries and lint.
243
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:34,959
WHIRRING
244
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:39,239
That's the printer. Oh, wow!
245
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,119
"You must now also find and eat
246
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,999
"a doughnut before you finish
the task."
247
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,839
Is this a doughnut? It was. It was!
248
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:47,839
"You must now also find
and eat a doughnut
249
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,599
"before you finish the task."
250
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,039
Well, it was probably this,
wasn't it?
251
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:52,159
It was that, yeah.
252
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:53,680
I'm going pink. Pink.
253
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,279
It just did something. Oh!
254
00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,919
Oh, my God. Batteries and a duck.
255
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:00,519
I think you've pressed
all the buttons now.
256
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,359
Do you remember what they all did?
257
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:03,400
Oh, no.
258
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,560
I'm going to do this one again.
259
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,199
It's not doing anything.
Oh, for God...
260
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,199
It's absolutely ridiculous.
261
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,799
Gold.
262
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,039
Look! Just look! I don't need to...
263
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,599
Oh! Ahh!
264
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,640
I could have just checked this
from the beginning.
265
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:24,800
Have I done it?
266
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,239
I...
SHE GASPS
267
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,159
Oh!
268
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,520
Oh, my God! Did it turn it on?
Your telly's on.
269
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:33,720
Well done.
270
00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:36,119
You say well done...
271
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,719
Yeah, I shouldn't have said
well done. Right.
272
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,959
I mean, the technique was
actually the same -
273
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:44,479
no lateral thinking,
just keep pressing buttons.
274
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,879
You both noticed the golden one
didn't do anything,
275
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,559
but you didn't think
that might be a clue?
276
00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:50,239
No. No. No, I thought it was broken.
277
00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,399
I thought it was just bad tasking.
278
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,400
THEY LAUGH
279
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,759
"Argh, there's bad tasking
in the air today."
280
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,760
LAUGHTER
281
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,679
Joanna pressed 13 buttons in total.
282
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,639
Amy, 21 buttons.
283
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:07,239
It was not good.
284
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:08,919
Ah! Right.
285
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:10,719
You both had a nice doughnut,
didn't you?
286
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,039
Yes, that was good.
Doughnut was nice.
287
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,959
Yeah, I liked that.
I would have it whizzed-up again.
288
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,959
Yeah.
Yeah, genuinely, it's really nice.
289
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,359
Do you guys call blending
whizzed up?
290
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,399
Yeah, always.
That's what you really call it?
291
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,879
Yeah, yeah. They're called
whizz-up machines over here.
292
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,319
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
LAUGHTER
293
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,559
Elevators are lifts,
blenders are whizz-up machines.
294
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,279
Ah, it's confusing over here.
295
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:33,559
I'll buy you a coffee afterwards
at the bubble-bubble shop.
296
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,560
LAUGHTER
297
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:38,999
We must pause for a break,
298
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,159
and we're going to stretch
our legs a little bit.
299
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,439
I'm going to give Alex
a little walk.
300
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:44,919
I like a little walk.
301
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,999
Come on, you! Oh, yes.
302
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,000
Come on!
303
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:00,560
Welcome back.
304
00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:04,919
Well, well, well,
you really did need to go.
305
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,039
Yes.
306
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,999
LAUGHTER
307
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,040
I had...
308
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,079
I had a lot of whizzed-up doughnuts.
309
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:17,959
He did!
310
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,599
And that's the funniest thing
this show's ever done.
311
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,359
It's just the right weight,
isn't it?
312
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,200
I think it's so hefty.
Just the right weight.
313
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,439
It's so...
HE LAUGHS
314
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,639
I like that you picked it up,
as well.
315
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:30,679
Why did you pick it up?
316
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,439
Because I'm your owner.
317
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:33,480
Oh, thank you.
318
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:36,560
Hello.
319
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,479
It's part two,
and our five adult comedians
320
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,959
are struggling to switch
on the telly. Yes.
321
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,759
"Oh, which button is it?
322
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,279
"Which controller? Where's it gone?
323
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,799
"Where are the batteries?
What's happening?
324
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,759
"Help me, Alex!"
They're pathetic. And now...
325
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,799
LAUGHTER
326
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:55,120
It's time for
Joel-mando Domett-ucci
327
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:01,559
MACHINE BEEPS
328
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:03,159
BEEPS
329
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,159
Are you thinking the printer
might operate the telly?
330
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,239
Yeah, it made some noises.
331
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:07,639
Yeah.
You did just press two buttons...
332
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,399
Yeah. ..so that counts
as your first two button presses.
333
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:10,959
Oh!
334
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,000
Damn it!
335
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,160
Ah!
336
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:19,639
Right. Well, that didn't work.
337
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,359
No, you've turned on
the bubble and smoke machine.
338
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,999
Oh, I forget what the other one was
I did.
339
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,959
Oh, you've done...
The bubble machine again, is it? OK.
340
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,279
Oh, right. Literally just done it.
That's the... Yeah.
341
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:28,440
Yeah. Gold.
342
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,359
Right. What happened with
the gold one?
343
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:33,919
I don't know.
What happened with the gold one?
344
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,920
What happened with the gold one?
I'm not touching it again.
345
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,519
It's down there.
346
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,240
Hello, Joel.
You're very much in my area now.
347
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,359
Have you pressed a button?
348
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,759
No, it goes behind the bookcase.
It goes behind there.
349
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,719
Right.
350
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:50,799
Ah!
351
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,760
"You must now also find and eat
a doughnut."
352
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,799
Right. If I turn that on...
353
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,319
You think turning the blender on
might turn the telly on?
354
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,519
Well, not beyond... No.
...the bounds of possibility.
355
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,719
ORGAN NOTES PLAY
356
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,639
It's a mouse.
357
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:07,680
What is that?
358
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:10,759
Is that yours?
359
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,040
I was looking for that.
360
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,239
Just be slightly careful
with the wires.
361
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,720
Yeah, you be slightly careful
with your attitude. Right.
362
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,719
Well, they're on now.
363
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,720
BLENDER WHIZZES
364
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,839
I knew the printer was
something to do with this!
365
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,000
"You must now also find
and eat a doughnut."
366
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,160
Ah! So, pink, is it? OK.
367
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,879
ORGAN NOTES PLAY
368
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:39,079
Ahh!
Obviously, this will go nowhere.
369
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:43,400
I found a duck, uh, more fluff,
two batteries. Ah.
370
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,120
Found the doughnut, like,
really quick.
371
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,199
HE GRUNTS
372
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:53,399
I have glued them shut.
373
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,640
Yes, you have, haven't you?
374
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,239
HE CLEARS THROAT
Ah-ha-ha!
375
00:15:58,240 --> 00:15:59,720
Here we go. Right.
376
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:01,880
Fucking hell!
377
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:07,679
Ahh!
378
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:08,720
Lovely.
379
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,240
Here we go, it's a smoke machine.
380
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,480
HORN BLARES
381
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:22,840
Ooh!
382
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,480
I put in an extra layer.
I put in an extra door.
383
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,600
12 seconds.
384
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:39,959
Come out!
385
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:40,999
Come on!
386
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,000
Please!
BELL DINGS
387
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,719
That was so close!
388
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:46,720
Let's go pink.
389
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,000
Two batteries.
390
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,360
I reckon that's this one.
391
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,399
Yeah! There you go.
You figured it out.
392
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,400
APPLAUSE
Well done.
393
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,719
I'm just enchanted,
watching Joel do anything, really,
394
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,759
because he throws himself into it
with such glee.
395
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,159
And then every now and again,
396
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,319
I just go,
"Oh, my God, he's 40!"
397
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,119
LAUGHTER
398
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,719
Yeah. Mad, isn't it?
399
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,040
I pay a mortgage.
400
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,159
I loved that a hidden compartment
pops open,
401
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,239
and Armando goes,
402
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,080
"Well, I don't imagine
this will lead us anywhere."
403
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,719
Conserving energy. Lovely.
404
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,919
The difference between us
is so fantastic.
405
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,119
I'm like, "Secret compartment?"
406
00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:40,199
I'm like,
"Argh!, a secret compartment!"
407
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,640
"I've just won!" "Where does it go?"
There's bound to be others!"
408
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:45,639
Love it.
409
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,719
Yes. Well, look.
Armando was the slowest.
410
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,399
But it wasn't about speed.
411
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,239
This is very much a tortoise
and hare situation.
412
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,759
He only pressed nine buttons...
Mmm. Ooh!
413
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,879
...which is one fewer than you, Joel.
Ten presses.
414
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,320
That's still good.
It's not bad for an excitable child.
415
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:04,279
Yes. Finally, in 2018, he was one of
Time Magazine's
416
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,599
100 Most Influential People
in the World.
417
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,519
And now, finally,
he just might prove why.
418
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:10,760
It's Kumail.
419
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:16,360
These are glued shut.
420
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,079
I haven't pressed a button yet. No.
421
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,560
This one's empty, though.
422
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:30,640
You're pressing the green one.
423
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,679
That's pretty cool.
424
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:39,999
Press it again,
if you really enjoyed it.
425
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,079
I did really enjoy it,
426
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,639
but I'm not going to press it again
until I've turned the TV on.
427
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:44,640
Yeah.
428
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,359
Is it a mistake that this one
doesn't have batteries?
429
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:51,159
We don't make mis...
We don't make mistakes.
430
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:52,199
That was a mistake.
431
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,279
You saying we don't make mistakes,
you made a mistake.
432
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:55,479
We rarely make mistakes.
433
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,120
"We don't make mirstakes!"
434
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:02,600
Don't look away.
435
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:07,920
Ow.
436
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:10,760
There's batteries in there.
437
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,400
Oooh!
438
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,480
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
439
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,239
That was impressive.
440
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,240
Thank you!
441
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,639
That's how it's done.
442
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:39,519
I remember that being, like,
my best task by far.
443
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:43,599
I just love that you just used
sheer fucking force.
444
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:47,119
Like, yeargh!
You are a real life superhero.
445
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,080
It's so good to be close to you.
Yeah!
446
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,239
So great. So, yeah...
447
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:55,799
So. It was very impressive.
448
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,199
Um, however...
449
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,839
Whoa, no!
450
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,119
Uh-oh!
451
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:01,399
I do need to show you
something else.
452
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,759
The rules did say...
453
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,679
Argh! Yes, yes, yes, yes!
454
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,399
LAUGHTER
455
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:10,119
...you may not touch the TV.
No ifs, no buts.
456
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,680
Right? Uh-oh.
457
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,800
There's so many wires, guys.
458
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:16,839
OK. Oh!
459
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:17,840
Oh-oh-oh!
460
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:20,239
Butt touch.
461
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:21,799
It was you, Joel.
462
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,359
You were so excited about that
video, too.
463
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:26,439
Oh! I thought it was
going to tear you apart,
464
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,119
but it turned out it just tore apart
465
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:30,080
a person who didn't need tearing
apart.
466
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,879
Is that touching? What do you mean?
Is it touching?
467
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,879
Touching? Am I not touching someone
if I touch them with my bum?
468
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,119
Is that what you're asking?
469
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:42,279
Well... Because if that's the case,
it's party time.
470
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:43,720
No, no, no, no, no!
471
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,919
Are we disqualifying Joel?
472
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:49,599
I still found him quite enchanting,
473
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,079
so I will allow him,
regardless of how many
474
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,039
times he pressed it,
to have one point.
475
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:55,279
So he goes to the bottom.
476
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,440
Amy and Joanna go up one point.
Correct.
477
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,280
Goes to the bottom. That's ironic.
478
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:08,079
In which case, Amy,
you get two points - 23 presses.
479
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,639
Joanna - three points.
Armando - four points.
480
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:14,040
But the winner and five points to
Kumail Nanjiani.
481
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,239
Right. May we see the scores? Yes.
482
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,599
Before that I'm going to tell you
the series scores
483
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:22,799
because they're getting tight.
484
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,399
Armando, you're at
the bottom with 91,
485
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,479
but Joel's just above you on 93.
486
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:32,479
Then, very excitingly,
Amy and Kumail are both on 105.
487
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:34,159
Kumail's finally in the top two
488
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,560
and Joanna still on top
with 106 points.
489
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:39,840
Lovely.
490
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,319
And in this episode, Kumail's got
a very strong ten points maximum
491
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,079
in first place.
492
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:49,119
Wow!
493
00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:50,120
Yep.
494
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:54,079
That is one sweet solo effort,
495
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,479
so I feel like we should see
a team task, please.
496
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:57,719
Sure thing, Greg.
497
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,959
Here's a task right here for you.
I do hope you like it.
498
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,799
Atchoo! Bless me.
499
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,080
OK, let's go.
500
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,799
Hello. Oh, hiya.
501
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,679
Joanna and Armando. Yes.
502
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,039
Hello. Hello. Who wants to read it?
You read this one.
503
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:25,559
You read this one.
504
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:26,959
He's so good at reading lines.
505
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:27,960
I know! It's so exciting.
506
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:30,400
Go! Go!
507
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:35,719
"Have serious fun
in the lab without smiling."
508
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,239
Oh!
509
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:40,399
"One of you must enter on
the first whistle,
510
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,359
"the other on the second."
511
00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:44,159
"You must each secretly
512
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:45,639
"bring something fun with you.
513
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:48,999
"And you must all leave as soon
as the time is up."
514
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,759
"You have two minutes in the lab,
515
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:54,999
"and the first person must enter
the lab in five minutes from now."
516
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,799
So we can't smile at all.
And we've got to have fun.
517
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,119
You guys, when I read,
"You can't smile,"
518
00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:04,159
both of you had
the biggest grins on your face.
519
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:05,199
Let's split up now.
520
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,679
So I will commit to getting
something fun from not this room.
521
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:09,079
Let's go! Bring this with us.
522
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:10,120
Find a fun thing.
523
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,319
I'm not going to ever smile again.
524
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,120
I'm going to be shit at this.
525
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,079
Hi-lo!
526
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,639
It's amusing Armando.
527
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,240
And this is
the really good fun show.
528
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:30,640
Fine. Oh.
529
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:35,439
Shall we meet jolly Joanna?
530
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,399
Here's jolly Joanna. Hey!
We're having fun, aren't we?
531
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:38,599
Yeah. Having lots of fun.
532
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:44,159
I find playing and eating sweets
really, really good. fun
533
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,159
That's good fun.
534
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:47,559
Oh, no.
HORN HONKS
535
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:48,999
Can you do that?
536
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,440
Do you know how to...? Hey, guys.
537
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,400
Oh, they're in, they're in.
Yep. They're in.
538
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:58,999
Oh, that was fun. That was fun.
539
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,759
So much fun. That's fun, isn't it?
540
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:02,840
Oh!
541
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,239
Whoa! That's fun.
542
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,079
Can I have a go on your horn,
if you want to go on my Sellotape?
543
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:12,119
Yeah, sure.
544
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:14,479
WHISTLE
OK, we gotta go.
545
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:15,520
Thanks, Alex.
546
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,839
Hiya! Oh! Hello.
547
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,519
JOANNA LAUGHS
548
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,479
Oh, God! Please let us not
have to sing.
549
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,559
Shall I go in? Yeah. Go in.
550
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:35,479
Completely revoice this footage
to create a dramatic short film.
551
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,119
A dramatic short film.
This is what...
552
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:41,879
This is the hula hoop thing
in the face.
553
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:46,159
Oh, well, this could be
a dramatic film very easily.
554
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,479
You must not revoice yourself.
555
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,519
Most dramatic
and convincing short film wins.
556
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,599
You have 15 minutes.
Your time starts now.
557
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,639
When there's three people... Yeah.
Can everyone play someone else?
558
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:01,439
Yes, mathematically.
Does that work? Yes. Yes.
559
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:02,799
I just, in my head, I was like,
560
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:04,079
"Well, two people are going to
play each other.
561
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:05,600
"Then there's one person
has to be themselves."
562
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:13,719
How would you suggest
that I do your voice?
563
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,679
I mean, just try and do like,
a Pakistani guy.
564
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,359
What could go wrong?
So what would...
565
00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:21,079
How would that go?
Well, now you've given me...
566
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,559
You've given me the go-ahead.
Yes, I've given you the go ahead.
567
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,880
We might not show him giving you
the go-ahead.
568
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,959
In fact, I insist that you don't.
569
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:33,439
Yeah. A bit like alien.
570
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,759
We've got to make it dramatic.
It could be.
571
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,359
We have to make it dramatic.
A monster.
572
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,839
What kind of voice do I do for you?
I'm Hull.
573
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:40,239
Hull? Do you want to try it?
574
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,079
Oolar oop!
575
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:44,399
OK.
576
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,280
Yeah, a lot, a lot happened.
577
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,319
Wow. Wow.
Exciting on lots of levels.
578
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,639
I mean, I wonder who will face
the biggest backlash?
579
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,799
Could it be Kumail
from the people of Hull,
580
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:02,040
or might Joel get more problems
with all of Pakistan?
581
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:06,440
A famously laid-back people.
582
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:13,279
I can't tell whether I'm going
to be sort of cancelled
583
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:17,800
for misplaced accents
or how stupid I am with numbers.
584
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,319
Ah yeah, that was incredible, yeah.
585
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,759
Well, Amy must be thrilled
because she's taken
586
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:28,600
a lot of heat off the fact
that she can only do one hula hoop.
587
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:34,360
Shall we see
some short films/hate crimes?
588
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,279
Yeah, why not?
And I think let's start
589
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:42,160
off with a team of three.
Let's see how they got on.
590
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,520
Erm, I'm looking for my husband.
Uh...
591
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,480
Is that from my husband?
592
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,760
Oh, OK. My husband's going to die.
593
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:04,160
Hey, wife.
594
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,279
This guy is really scaring me.
595
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:09,680
Room for a little one!
596
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:12,600
Goddamn this guy.
597
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:15,599
Watch me save your life.
598
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,479
Oh!
599
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:18,639
Whoa.
600
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,920
I'll show you what to do.
601
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:26,999
Round, round!
602
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:31,359
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh!
603
00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:34,560
That's like some of
the noises we make on our birthdays.
604
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,799
Hey, look at this.
Look at this shiny thing.
605
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,759
Shiny things
distracting... distracting me.
606
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,439
Shoot him with the gun.
607
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,759
Maybe I'll get you with this gun
that I've got.
608
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:46,959
No, it's a fucking horn.
609
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,759
Didn't bring your gun?
610
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,320
You didn't bring your gun?
Oh, I'll go get my gun.
611
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:54,759
You two are going to die.
I'm going to be back.
612
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:55,800
You two gonna die.
613
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,359
WHISTLE
- That's your time up.
- Lovely.
614
00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:02,760
Better than many movies I've seen.
And been in.
615
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,280
I don't know
what the fuck was going on.
616
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:14,719
It's the joy of art, isn't it?
617
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,559
It's open to interpretation.
618
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,039
It's subjective. Yeah.
619
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,400
Unfortunately for you,
I thought it was shit.
620
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:23,759
OK, that's it.
We're at the halfway point.
621
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,079
Will you go all the way with me?
Will you?
622
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,519
Of course you will.
How can you resist?
623
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,199
And I've not forgotten you.
You'll keep.
624
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,479
Oh, yes. He's saving you till last!
Shut up!
625
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,120
APPLAUSE
626
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,599
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
627
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,959
Welcome back to the
third part of the show.
628
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:51,399
And there is a seriously fun task
involving lip-syncing.
629
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,719
Yes, the current task involves them
630
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:55,679
revoicing their own footage
from earlier,
631
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,479
but they're not allowed
to revoice themselves.
632
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:00,719
Most dramatic
and convincing short film wins.
633
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:05,159
Now for the team of two's turn -
it's Joanna and Armando.
634
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,919
Hello.
635
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,159
I have been called here today
because I hear
636
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:12,679
that there might be some alien force
in this building.
637
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:16,039
What is this here? There's a banana.
638
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,199
BABBLING
What are you saying?
639
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:19,239
BABBLING
640
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,639
You're telling me about the
alien? An alien?
641
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,039
I've been impregnated by
a banana alien.
642
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,039
It might burst out any minute.
Oh, my God!
643
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:27,040
Oh, my.
644
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:31,639
Oh, no! I can't believe this.
I know.
645
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:33,359
What have you got inside you?
646
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,919
There look like millions of them.
647
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:39,199
I've got the syringe.
I have heard from other people
648
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,839
it is the only way to deal
with aliens.
649
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:43,959
I want to help you.
650
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:46,759
But the alien
in my head is telling me to
651
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:48,439
put it in my mouth.
652
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:49,519
Oh, my God.
653
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,679
Oh, that went in. That's horrible.
654
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,359
The alien is making me inject your
head now.
655
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:55,839
Whatever you do,
656
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:59,319
don't let any aliens come out
of your mouth.
657
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:04,079
Oh! Oh! This is the most dramatic
thing ever filmed.
658
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:05,919
What's this?
659
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:07,319
I want to eat these.
660
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,199
The alien is making me
pick up an envelope.
661
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,279
It says, "Whatever you do,
662
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,479
"don't muck about with the stuff
in that suitcase
663
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,079
"otherwise the world will blow up."
664
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:16,239
But I can't help myself.
665
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,239
It's all pretty colours.
666
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,239
Oh, no, you've gone and done it!
667
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:22,599
I can't help it.
They're making me do it.
668
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:24,039
Everybody get out!
669
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:25,879
Humanity has been taken over
by aliens.
670
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,039
We've got to go! Yeah!
671
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,040
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
672
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,439
Right. Well, I'm going to say this
off the bat.
673
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:39,880
I do not like Joanna's voice
coming out of Armando's face.
674
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,399
But it was a strong narrative.
675
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:45,999
And it was dramatic.
676
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,400
It's got to make you three feel bad
about your load of shit.
677
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,919
I thought you had
clearly defined characters.
678
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,439
A twist at the end, a comment on
679
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,599
the fragility of the human
condition.
680
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:58,840
Yeah. And what about theirs?
681
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:06,999
What are you giving to people, Greg?
682
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:08,479
Well, I'm going to give
683
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:12,240
the team of two five points
for a beautiful film.
684
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,999
And what shall I give
the other three?
685
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,919
Two feel good?
Two for the team of three
686
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,320
and five to the team of two.
687
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,199
Can we squeeze out another task?
688
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:26,999
Ah, of course we can, Greg.
689
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,360
And bless your little cotton socks.
690
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:46,839
Ooh!
691
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:47,880
Oh, my gosh!
692
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:53,120
Amy!
693
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:00,519
It's a...
694
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:01,680
...crescent of socks.
695
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:03,840
I guess so. Yeah.
696
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:07,679
This is fantastic.
697
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:08,959
How do you arrange yours?
698
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,719
Nothing as extravagant
and as beautiful as this.
699
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:12,959
This is how Greg does it.
700
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,639
OK.
701
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:18,119
Make the most socks stand up.
702
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:19,239
You have 15 minutes.
703
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:20,280
Your time starts now.
704
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,359
What we...? What? And we're off.
Stand up?
705
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,679
What, what, what does that entail?
706
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:30,439
Well, they're lying down
at the moment.
707
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:31,479
Individually or...?
708
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,839
Well, plenty of time, however you
want to interpret it, really.
709
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,679
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
710
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:38,759
What I really want to do is just
spend
711
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,119
all my time making the pairs right.
712
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:42,120
Yeah.
713
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,319
Now, with the greatest of respect,
714
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:52,039
I thought that Joel might struggle
with this concept,
715
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,159
but I didn't think it would
baffle you.
716
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:56,559
Yeah. And I said to Alex during it,
717
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:59,799
"You sort of sound like a remix
in it."
718
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,399
She did, yeah. Have you got it?
I've got the remix.
719
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:06,440
What we... What, what, what does
that entail?
720
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:10,280
Gledhill remix. Yeah.
721
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:14,039
I'm into that. Armando was a bit of
722
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:15,759
a remix as well, wasn't he?
Slightly.
723
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,440
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
724
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:22,879
We should collaborate.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah!
725
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:26,920
What, what, what-what, what?
Yeah, yeah. What, what?
726
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:29,640
We're on at the O2 next summer.
727
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,239
Right, I want to see some people
make socks stand up.
728
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:36,599
I know you do. I know you do.
729
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,879
And it's good news for fans
of Amy and Joel,
730
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,040
because now we're going to see
Amy and Joel.
731
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,199
What classifies as standing up?
732
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:45,719
Is that?
733
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,360
Yeah, maybe. Maybe?
734
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:52,599
Is that standing up?
735
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:53,639
Sort of floating.
736
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:55,399
I don't know what it's doing.
It might be standing up.
737
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,679
Looks like there's someone on
the other side of the hedge.
738
00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:59,119
OK, well, OK.
739
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:02,319
We're absolutely off to
a cracking start.
740
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:04,679
This is my task.
Yeah, they're standing up, I think.
741
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:06,279
Yeah? You think?
742
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:08,240
Oh, I need you to be more confident
than that.
743
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:10,840
Urgh!
744
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:18,599
That is...
745
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:19,879
That went straight on.
746
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:21,160
That is fine.
747
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,560
Oh, I just found a good one!
748
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:33,080
APPLAUSE
749
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:42,679
What if I got all of these
750
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,719
and told a joke?
751
00:34:45,720 --> 00:34:47,679
So they're doing stand up.
752
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:49,199
Do you want a microphone?
753
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:50,720
Is this good?
754
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,479
It's pretty weird. Yeah. OK.
755
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:54,960
What did the...
756
00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:01,119
...shoe say to the loud sock?
757
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:02,359
I don't know.
758
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:03,999
Put a sock in it!
759
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,079
Oh, dear.
760
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:06,719
I've just made that up. That's good!
761
00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:08,119
I've got to finish this fence.
762
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:10,080
One-and-a-half minutes.
I gotta finish this fence.
763
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:13,360
{\an8}They're just standing up,
are they? Yes.
764
00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:17,119
WHISTLE
765
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:18,879
What an ending.
766
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,479
I believe in rights for everyone.
767
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:23,839
Standing up for people?
768
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:25,079
WHISTLE
Everyone?
769
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:26,359
Oh!
770
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:29,639
Oh, not... No! Good... Argh!
It's too late now.
771
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:32,039
Don't put that on telly.
772
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:33,320
There's a lot left.
773
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:36,040
Thanks, Joel. See you later.
774
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:40,039
Yeah. There were a lot left.
775
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:41,119
Really good though.
776
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:44,679
I really loved the ambition
of sock stand-up.
777
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:46,719
You want to ride with that?
Because I'm going to allow it.
778
00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:48,199
I'll tell you that now.
You're allowing that?
779
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:49,879
Yeah. Yes! It was really great.
780
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:53,239
This is the happiest I've seen you
for the whole show.
781
00:35:53,240 --> 00:35:56,719
Man, it was so fun.
But just putting things on things.
782
00:35:56,720 --> 00:35:57,919
Yeah.
783
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,079
Was there one sock in particular
that pleased you the most?
784
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:01,839
Because there was one
that you popped on
785
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:03,799
that pleased me the most.
I can't stop thinking about that.
786
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:06,399
The top of the cactus.
Cactus! Oh, my God!
787
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,080
Oh, it slipped on a treat, didn't
it?
788
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:14,119
My favourite one was the one that
was just poking out of the hedge.
789
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:17,199
Oh, yeah. Where
It looked like a very short
790
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,959
but very well-endowed man
was just stood. Yeah!
791
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,159
It was just coming out.
Just a lovely angle.
792
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,600
It was just sort of soft lob. Yeah.
793
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,439
Hedge Man wasn't fully ready
for action.
794
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,439
If a soft lob counts as standing up
795
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,000
then there's hope for many of us.
796
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,359
Right, well, I guess I
should find out.
797
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:43,359
Are we counting the soft lob?
798
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:46,839
Well, soft lob
is definitely standing.
799
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,799
LAUGHTER
800
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:51,559
There were 472 socks there in total.
801
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:54,599
Amy got 280 of those socks up.
802
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:56,159
Whoa!
803
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:58,359
With Joel 91 including the lob.
804
00:36:58,360 --> 00:36:59,759
Wow! 91. 91.
805
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:02,039
Amy well in front at this stage.
Shall we move on?
806
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:03,199
Yeah. Why not?
807
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:06,599
And now for a man
who is the same age as Brad Pitt.
808
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,120
It's Armando Iannucci.
809
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:10,920
Got to start with this. OK.
810
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,079
How much time is left?
Plenty of time.
811
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,760
12 minutes and 45 seconds. Christ.
812
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:21,359
I'm sort of thinking,
813
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:24,240
given the numbers involved here,
we need to go at scale.
814
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,039
This will do it. Hang on.
815
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:30,879
There we go.
816
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:31,920
Here we go.
817
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:35,720
{\an8}Well, lovely to meet you.
818
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:41,399
{\an8}Um, what do you think of my, um,
standing-up socks?
819
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,240
{\an8}What do you think of those? Pardon?
820
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:46,039
{\an8}Not... They wouldn't work for you?
821
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:49,679
Your feet are webbed,
aren't they? Yeah.
822
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:52,719
OK. I mean, to be honest,
I've run out of small talk.
823
00:37:52,720 --> 00:37:55,839
There's only so many things you can
say to a duck on a chair.
824
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,199
That's your time up, Armando.
Thank you very much.
825
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,760
Oh, right. Some tea, I think.
826
00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:04,720
LAUGHTER
827
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:09,200
Very good!
828
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,479
I was already thrilled
before the walk.
829
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:17,039
That's the sort of lateral thinking
and creativity
830
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:20,040
that you can come up with
if you're not troubled by full lobs.
831
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,719
Soon someone will win
a one-way flight to Venice
832
00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:27,319
and will be able to say,
833
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:31,239
"I was deported by Amy Gledhill."
834
00:38:31,240 --> 00:38:32,279
We'll see you in a minute.
835
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:34,280
APPLAUSE
836
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,199
Yes, yes! It's the final part of
837
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:47,079
the show and there's a task that is
in need of completing.
838
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:48,479
Thumbs up emoji.
839
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:51,639
Yes, they just had to make
the most socks stand up.
840
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,079
They've all had a go at it.
841
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:56,400
Well, Joanna and Kumail haven't,
but they will right now.
842
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,959
I'm putting them on myself.
That's a good idea.
843
00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:01,799
OK, I'm going to do as many
as I can.
844
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:03,279
Yes. That is three.
845
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:06,639
Would you say
this sock is standing up?
846
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:07,679
I mean, I don't know.
847
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:10,479
KUMAIL CHUCKLES
848
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,519
KUMAIL LAUGHS DEVIOUSLY
849
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:13,639
Woo!
850
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:15,079
This is what a rake is made for!
851
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:16,239
This is perfect.
852
00:39:16,240 --> 00:39:17,679
This is horrible.
853
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:19,279
I don't like this. Right.
854
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:20,399
Ugh, God.
855
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:22,239
I'm going to have to start
putting some on the other foot.
856
00:39:22,240 --> 00:39:24,960
OK, then. It's starting to hurt
a bit. Is it?
857
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:29,399
KUMAIL CHORTLES
Ah!
858
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:31,719
HE GRUNTS
I'm feeling kind of maniacal,
859
00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:33,000
I don't know why.
860
00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:39,599
Right, I can get a load on here,
861
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:40,879
cos his legs are only thin.
862
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:41,959
That's a good thought.
863
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:43,119
Right. OK.
864
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,039
Will you bring me the donkey,
please? I'd love to, yeah.
865
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:46,519
Cos I don't think I can walk.
866
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,400
Thank you.
867
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:50,960
Let's see what this is like.
868
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,240
I'm just going
to give the donkey a go.
869
00:39:55,240 --> 00:39:56,599
Oh, look at that.
870
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:58,799
Right. Two minutes, ten seconds.
871
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,719
Oh!
HE GROANS
872
00:40:00,720 --> 00:40:03,599
I think I might start on my arms.
Yeah.
873
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:05,880
Kumail, there's one minute left.
874
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:14,120
WHISTLE
Wow, that is a triumphant pose, Jo.
875
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:19,919
KUMAIL LAUGHS
Standing up?
876
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:21,479
Yeah, isn't it? Yeah.
877
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:23,959
Everything's standing up.
APPLAUSE
878
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:27,400
Really good.
APPLAUSE
879
00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:30,559
APPLAUSE
Good.
880
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,559
How many socks did
she make stand up?
881
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:35,919
Well, remember, with the soft lob,
Joel got 91.
882
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,479
Joanna managed to get 95.
883
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:41,199
Oh! ALL: Oooh! Not bad.
884
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:43,519
Now... Now. Kumail.
885
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:44,919
HE LAUGHS
886
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:46,399
Well, all I wrote down was,
887
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:50,559
"Why is Kumail laughing like
a cartoon baddie while tidying up?"
888
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,799
LAUGHTER
I think, to be honest,
889
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:54,839
the laughter came
when you struck upon the idea
890
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:58,079
of stuffing a boiler suit
full of socks.
891
00:40:58,080 --> 00:40:59,959
It's like a man that's standing up.
Yeah,
892
00:40:59,960 --> 00:41:02,279
I like... I like the final image
of the man standing up.
893
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,599
Obviously, we'll only be allowing
the socks that...
894
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:06,839
Wait, what? But... but wait,
what do you mean...
895
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:07,919
What... what do you mean?
896
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:09,039
Boo-ba-boo-ba-boh!
897
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:11,119
What-what-what-wha?
Boo-bah-boh!
898
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:12,159
LAUGHTER
899
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,879
What-what-wha? Boo-bah-boh!
What-what-wha?
900
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:17,120
LAUGHTER
901
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,759
Um, just checking, are we counting
all the ones in the boiler suits?
902
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:21,919
Yeah, I think...
All the ones in the...
903
00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:24,719
I think I am going to allow those.
HE CACKLES
904
00:41:24,720 --> 00:41:27,199
In which case I can tell you
some points.
905
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,319
Joel, one point, only 91 socks.
906
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,479
Two points to Joanna with 95.
907
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:33,279
Amy got 280 socks, three points.
908
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:35,839
Kumail, there were 375 socks
standing up
909
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:37,959
in that boiler suit and the boots,
but the winner,
910
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:39,879
with 472 socks, five points,
911
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:41,759
it's Armando Iannucci!
912
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,519
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
913
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:46,159
Very good. Should we have
a quick look at the scores?
914
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:49,639
Yes, it means those sock guys are
in first and second place.
915
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:50,799
Kumail's on 16 points,
916
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:53,039
but Armando is leading the episode
with 17 points.
917
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:56,320
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
918
00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:59,399
Wow! All right, everyone,
919
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:02,159
please make your way to the stage
for the final task on the show!
920
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:04,560
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
921
00:42:09,240 --> 00:42:10,599
Hi there, you hunk!
922
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:13,279
Oh! Me?
LAUGHTER
923
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,480
Who will be reading the task?
Joanna Page. Joanna Page.
924
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:22,399
"Snort, raspberry or whistle
925
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:26,199
"in the order
the Taskmaster desires.
926
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,959
"The task master will give you
a number sequence,
927
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:33,559
"and you must reply immediately
with the corresponding noises.
928
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:35,439
"One equals snort,
929
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:37,959
"two equals raspberry,
930
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:40,759
"three equals whistle.
931
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:43,479
"If you make a mistake,
you are out.
932
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,159
"Most successful snort, raspberry,
933
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,519
"and whistle responder wins."
934
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,440
I genuinely cannot whistle.
935
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:53,879
"Hoot!" will be acceptable.
936
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:56,039
OK. Are we ready?
We're starting off in round one
937
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:58,039
with a two-digit sequence.
938
00:42:58,040 --> 00:42:59,079
Amy.
939
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:00,759
Three, one.
940
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:03,559
AMY WHISTLES, SNORTS
Good.
941
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:06,639
Armando. Two, three.
942
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:08,719
HE BLOWS RASPBERRY,
ATTEMPTS TO WHISTLE
943
00:43:08,720 --> 00:43:11,279
Hoot...
944
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:12,519
Looks like you're off the hook.
945
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:14,999
LAUGHTER
946
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:16,879
Joanna. Three, three.
947
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,439
SHE WHISTLES WEAKLY TWICE
948
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:22,000
LAUGHTER
949
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,360
Aw, little baby bird!
950
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,759
Three, two.
951
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:32,000
HE WHISTLES LOUDLY
952
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:35,399
HE BLOWS RASPBERRY
953
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:36,439
Lovely.
954
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,799
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Lovely.
955
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:40,879
Kumail, one, three.
956
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:42,879
KUMAIL SNORTS
Hoo!
957
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:44,919
OK. So they've all survived.
958
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:46,839
I think we need to go up
to three digits, even.
959
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:48,039
I agree. OK.
960
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:50,159
Amy. Two, one, three.
961
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:53,119
SHE BLOWS RASPBERRY, SNORTS,
WHISTLES
962
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:54,519
Good. Three, two, one.
963
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:57,599
HE TRIES TO WHISTLE, BLOWS
RASPBERRY, SNORTS
964
00:43:57,600 --> 00:43:59,439
LAUGHTER
Two, two, one.
965
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:01,879
SHE BLOWS RASPBERRY TWICE, SNORTS
966
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:03,119
One, one, three.
967
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:06,479
HE SNORTS TWICE, WHISTLES
968
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:08,199
Two, one, three.
969
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:10,239
HE BLOWS RASPBERRY, SNORTS
Hoo!
970
00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:12,159
ALL LAUGH
971
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:13,439
Three, three, two.
972
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,079
SHE WHISTLES WEAKLY TWICE,
BLOWS RASPBERRY
973
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,439
Two, one, three.
974
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,799
HE BLOWS RASPBERRY, SNORTS, WHISTLES
975
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,279
Oh, my God, they're so good!
Should we go up to four?
976
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:22,999
Should we go up to four?
We're going to four.
977
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,719
I'm starting with Joanna. Here we
go.
978
00:44:25,720 --> 00:44:27,279
Two, two, three, one.
979
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:28,999
SHE BLOWS TWO RASPBERRIES
980
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,479
SHE WHISTLES, SNORTS
981
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:31,919
One, one, two, three.
982
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,319
HE SNORTS TWICE, BLOWS RASPBERRY
983
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:36,719
HE WHISTLES LOUDLY
984
00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:38,359
One, three, two, one.
985
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:39,959
HE SNORTS, BLOWS AIR
986
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,359
HE BLOWS RASPBERRY, SNORTS
987
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:44,480
LAUGHTER
One, one. Two, three.
988
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:49,719
SHE SNORTS TWICE, BLOWS RASPBERRY
Oh!
989
00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:51,479
It was too long! Too slow.
990
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:54,039
Amy Gledhill,
go to the disqualification bench.
991
00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:56,839
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Right.
992
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,119
So we're on Armando.
993
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:00,279
Three, three, two, one.
994
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,039
HE WHISTLES TWICE, BLOWS RASPBERRY
995
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,079
HE SNORTS
996
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:05,159
Two, two, one, three.
997
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:07,119
SHE BLOWS TWO RASPBERRIES, SNORTS
998
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,359
SHE WHISTLES WEAKLY
One, two, three, one.
999
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:12,279
HE SNORTS, BLOWS RASPBERRY, SNORTS
1000
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:14,039
- No!
- No.
ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE
1001
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:15,479
That's lost, Joel.
I'm blowing the whistle!
1002
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:18,319
We lost Joel Dommett.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1003
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:19,320
OK.
1004
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,479
Greg, would you like to go up
to five-digit sequences?
1005
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:25,919
Oh, my God, I would.
It's a semifinal.
1006
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:27,119
So we're on to Kumail.
1007
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:28,879
Five? I'm the first guy to do five?
1008
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:30,879
You're the first guy ever
to do five.
1009
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:33,719
LAUGHTER
1010
00:45:33,720 --> 00:45:35,679
One, three, two, one, two.
1011
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:38,039
HE SNORTS
Hoot!
1012
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,239
HE SNORTS, BLOWS RASPBERRY
ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE
1013
00:45:40,240 --> 00:45:41,719
Afraid not. Now, that should have
been a raspberry.
1014
00:45:41,720 --> 00:45:43,239
The third should have been
a raspberry.
1015
00:45:43,240 --> 00:45:45,639
It was a raspberry. The snort should
have been a raspberry.
1016
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:48,199
One, one, two, three, two.
1017
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:50,599
HE SNORTS TWICE, BLOWS RASPBERRY
1018
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:52,919
HE WHISTLES, BLOWS RASPBERRY
1019
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:54,599
Correct. Yes!
1020
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:57,039
One, two, one, three, two.
1021
00:45:57,040 --> 00:46:00,159
SHE SNORTS
1022
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,359
SHE BLOWS RASPBERRY, ALL LAUGH
1023
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:05,039
We have a winner, everyone.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1024
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:06,800
HE BLOWS RASPBERRY
1025
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:10,439
I'll add that to your final scores.
Come and join me!
1026
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:13,000
Mr Armando Iannucci!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1027
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:17,799
Well!
1028
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:18,839
Yeah!
1029
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:20,559
That was an absolute...
GREG WHISTLES
1030
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:22,559
That's a fun task. They were so good
at making noises
1031
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:23,719
in the correct order, weren't they?
1032
00:46:23,720 --> 00:46:25,959
Weren't they! The worst was Amy,
but only just.
1033
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:28,199
I mean, you deserve more than
one point, but that's all you get.
1034
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:30,479
SHE BLOWS RASPBERRY, LAUGHS
1035
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:32,519
Amy got one, Joel, two,
Kumail, three,
1036
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:34,639
Joanna, four, Armando, five.
Which means...
1037
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,479
...the final scoreboard.
1038
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:38,959
It's his second victory.
At the bottom, Amy and Joel,
1039
00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:40,239
the happy guys on ten points.
1040
00:46:40,240 --> 00:46:42,639
At the top, Armando has got
22 points!
1041
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:44,959
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1042
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,359
Armando Iannucci wins!
1043
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:50,999
Please come to the stage
to bag your bounty of bumpy things!
1044
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:54,480
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1045
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:15,120
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