Original subtitles

1:34:16 / 23.976

This is behind you, your past.

This is your hopes. This is your fears.

And this is in front of you, your immediate future.

-Baby? -Excuse me?

God, no! I'm sorry, my feet are just sore, that 's all.

I'm not having a baby. I mean, I am having a baby, but not right now.

But soon.

To tell you the truth...

I'm gonna miss it. I mean, the pregnancy. It 's so darn convenient!

Once the baby's born, it 'll be so much harder to keep track of him.

Right now, it 's so ideal: He's easy to carry. No dirty diapers.

You don't have to worry about him running out in traffic. You know.

Another thing:

Between you and me, my husband finds me sexy pregnant.

So, why not just stay pregnant?

You know? I mean, why not, right?

-I beg your pardon? -No English.

Sorry.

-Hey, sweetie. -Hi, honey.

-How is the glowing mother to be? -Glowing.

I need change for a ten!

-Come on, please! Please, Milo! -One at a time, one at a time.

-Please, Milo! -Excuse me.

-Excuse me? Is there a Milo here? -Sorry. He's busy.

Okay, Curtis, let 's see. You want to know about your mother.

Oh, yeah, I see her alright.

And she's...

kind of a big woman.

But she's also warm and caring. And a fabulous cook.

She's gonna love you, Curtis. All of you.

And trust me, there's gonna to be a lot of you to love.

Okay, next.

Milo! Mr. Gordon requests your presence now!

Don't whine, Ralphy, I'm coming.

-You are in charge. -Yes, Mr. Ralph.

But what if they don't want to go in?

You didn't listen to anything I just said, did you?

Hey? Hey? ls that you? How are you doing? How are you doing?

Comfy? Nice and warm, huh?

We have a big surprise for you, my friend.

You're gonna go on a little trip pretty soon.

You don't have to be scared. I'll be here when you arrive.

Sorry.

Wait!

Wait!

Wait!

Come on, Ralphy, old buddy! Spill the beans. What 's this all about?

Do I detect a hint of nervousness in the ever so confident Milo?

Come in.

Hey, Mr. Gordon!

What 'll it be? Three-card Monte? Blackjack? Two-handed Bridge?

-It 's your call. -Close the door and sit down, Milo.

Here at the Life Training Center...

we take our first few steps on the journey to self discovery.

You have made some imaginative and unique choices.

I will continue to follow your progress with great curiosity.

But for now, we have all decided that you are...

''Ready To Go''.

-Kevin! -Hey, boss.

What?

What?

What?

-Did you call the doctor? -I just... I just called...

-Did you call the office? ...called the office.

-Max, what are you doing? -I'm documenting the event.

I'm sorry, but I really don't think I'm in charge here!

Okay. I got them.

What is he doing?

We're not taking that.

You...

you... on the count of two.

One... two. That 's it!

Perfect.

Take it easy, just...

It 's starting. It 's too soon.

That 's it! Here we go!

-Bye, Milo! -Bye, Milo!

-Have a good time! -Congratulations, Milo!

-Good luck, Milo. -Congratulations, Milo!

-Have a good time! -See you, Milo!

No, no, Dad, no! I don't want to go! I don't want to go!

Milo?

Come here.

-Do you think it could be a mistake? -A mistake? No.

Are you okay, Milo?

No, honey. Maybe... I think it 's some kind of mistake.

No, baby, no mistake. You worked extremely hard on this, remember?

-You're a little scared, that 's all. -I'm not scared.

Alright, you're not scared. ''Scared'' is the wrong word.

Hi, everybody. How are we doing?

Fine.

Forgive my gum, I just quit smoking this week. It 's been...

...5 days, 3 hours and 27 minutes. -Good job.

Thank you. I understand that you're experiencing...

a few contractions?

I'll take that as a''yes''.

-How long and how far apart? -Two hours tops. Every two minutes.

Impatient little rascal. Okay, let me get in there and take a look.

Thank you. Okay. Now I need you to...

relax and breathe.

Listen, do you want to trade seats?

But then I'll go to the wrong parents.

What 's the difference? You know. They're all the same.

Tall, and they smell funny.

-You don't have to be afraid. -Don't worry, it 's gonna be fun.

Yeah, Milo. I'm gonna play the clarinet.

-I wanna turn sweet sixteen. -I wanna get into Hotel Management.

Go, Milo.

-Come on, Milo. -Go on. You gotta go, Milo!

-Go ahead. -Go ahead, Milo.

What are you doing?

Milo!

Milo? Milo!

Dr. Price, Human Resources, please.

-What? -That 's odd.

-What 's odd? What? -What is it?

Looks like a false alarm.

-What does that mean? -''False alarm''?

I mean you won't have this baby today. Braxton-Hicks strikes again.

-Who? -What?

Nothing to concern. Braxton-Hicks means real pain, false labor.

No, doctor. This was real pain, real labor. I mean...

I felt something coming.

And then it just...

nothing, it stopped.

Alright. Okay.

Tell you what. It 's a little unusual...

for someone who's progressed in labor as you to suddenly stop.

I'm sure it 's fine. If you want, I'll keep you here overnight.

-Thanks. -Alright. I'll check back in later.

No, the Big Door is closing!

It will continue to close until we propel that trouble-maker through!

No, Mr. Ralph, the child has to go on his own volition.

But Mr. Percival, maybe we can send the next child in his place.

We cannot do that. That is not the next child's hand, not their life.

-Milo has to go. -This is what I'm telling you...

we need to take control of the situation! I don't know...

Milo has been a problem for the longest time.

Mr. Owen?

A word from Mr. Owen!

Do you have something to say?

I remember back in 1055, there was a similar case.

New soul, wouldn't go.

He was afraid of his destiny. A deep fear of life...

that stemmed from the troubled heart of his mother.

-What happened? -The idea was this:

Send the boy down to take a little look-see.

A ''look-see''?

We send him with a guardian, one of the old souls who had been there.

Knew the ropes.

Yes, Sir.

You do? Who?

Elmore H. Dahl.

Where are you going?

-I need chocolate. -You don't need chocolate.

-I do now. -Whoa, I'll get it, I'll get it.

You get some rest. You're having a baby, for God's sake.

-But I'm not. I mean, I am. -Really?

-That 's it. -I hate Dr. Baumgartner.

He is questionable.

-What 's that, a contraction? -No, they stopped, Kevin.

-Don't you think that 's strange? -Honey, the baby's fine.

No, maybe there's something not right with this whole thing.

-Like maybe this was a sign. -You sound like your mother now.

Maybe this was all some big mistake.

-How can you say that? -My family wasn't your family.

-So? -My father wasn't around and...

-So? -So?

So? Well, maybe...

What if I'm not a good mother?

How can you make that leap? Trust me, you'll be a great mother.

You of all people, okay.

I'll get you some chocolate, what do you want? Raw? Chunk like?

I don't know. Three Musketeers, Clark Bar, Snickers.

Snickers.

-Mr. Ralph? -Yes, Mr. Percival?

The soul. Is he coming from... down?

No, no, of course not.

If you had stayed awake during your studies, you would have learned...

that had been decided milleniums ago that they needed a place...

for souls who didn't deserve to go down below, nor up above.

They're somewhere in between.

-Mr. Ralph? -Yes, Mr. Percival?

What type of soul ends up in between?

-Well, you see... -I'm not sure if I'm going up.

Keep smiling. How you doing?

Elmore H. Dahl, at your service.

Howdy.

We appreciate your willingness to volunteer for this journey, Elmore.

-The question is... -Simple. Kid's afraid to be born.

Abracadabra, we're in Manhattan. I show him a good time.

Boom. Zip. Deliver the goods.

Well, yes, precisely.

I presume there is nothing left to say.

Time is of the essence. At the rate that Big Door is closing...

we'll only have a day to complete this mission.

-In fact, we'll only have until... -Midnight. Easter Standard Time.

Unless there are any further questions...

One thing.

I see how the kid will be helped, and you would sleep easier...

but besides the honor of serving, which I truly treasure...

what do I get out of this?

What are you driving at? What do you want?

Life!

Don't get me wrong, where I'm at ain't so bad.

It 's fine down there. I got a nice place. It 's small, but comfortable.

You know, it 's safe, it 's quiet...

but it 's boring! That 's what it is, it 's boring!

Let 's face it, there's no action, there's no nothing!

Anyway, you know, no complaints. You reap what you sow and all that.

Now here's the deal:

I give the kid a good time, show him the sights.

Then I send him back. Me, I stay there.

This old ticker keeps going. Me, flesh and blood.

''Elmore H. Dahl: The Sequel''!

I still have some mileage in this heap!

I wasn't even collecting Social Security when I bit the dust.

I'd had a good twenty years if I kept away from fried foods. So...

what do you say?

This is absolutely ridiculous!

The man is dead, he can't just go gallivanting around!

-I'll be cool. -I'm sorry, Elmore.

It 's simply out of the question. We'll have to deny that request.

Well then...

I guess we...

we have a little problem here.

Elmore...

are you saying you won't go if we don't accede to your proposition?

I wouldn't put it in that way, but...

This is blackmail. Don't you see? It 's unconscionable!

We have no other choice, but get another soul.

We don't have time, it 's our responsibility.

No, we have to! Don't you see what this man want?

-It 's absurd! -One moment.

Even if we did agree to this arrangement...

I'm afraid no one here has the authority to grant you that kind of request.

I'm sure you can find someone who has the authority.

Yes, Sir.

Yes, he's here. Well, we're having a little difficulty...

Yes. I will.

Alright, Elmore.

Accompany Milo on this venture...

be back no later than midnight and we'll grant you your request.

If you convince the boy to say five little words:

''I want to be born.''

Deal.

-So you don't need me right now? -No, there's no need to rush out.

Kevin's been wonderful. He's barely left my side.

Kevin's one of a kind.

Not like that good for nothing father of yours. Rest his soul.

Did you know that he was at the track on the day you were born?

-Are you there, honey? -Yeah, I'm here.

Liz, what's up?

I thought I saw him today.

Who? Your father?

That must've been spooky.

-Remember that ratty fedora he had? -Oh,God, yes!

I saw some guy in the street wearing one, same color, exact everything.

Well, you know, from behind.

Now be careful. Don't bring all that back into your life. Not now.

I know. It 's just a weird thing. It 's no big deal.

It 's no big deal.

Milo?

Milo, I'd like you to meet someone. This is Elmore Dahl.

Milo! How you doing, big guy? Give me five!

Milo, Elmore has been chosen to take you on a little excursion.

I told you, I'm not going!

-Let me discuss this with the boy. -Excuse me.

Give me a minute with the kid.

It 's not going to work. Mark my words.

Can I?

You play five-card draw?

-One hand. Winner takes all. -All of what?

You win, I take these clowns off your back. I win...

we take a trip to the greatest city in the world.

Afraid?

Deal.

Ground floor. Watch your step, please.

Counseling, transitions, welcoming committee, lounge.

-How may I help you? -We're going out.

Out?

Please, take a seat. We'll be with you in a moment.

You do not go out that door. You come in that door.

I know, but I'm what you'd call a''special case''.

I'd check with one of the head honchos upstairs if I was you.

We wouldn't want to get you in trouble.

Orientation for new arrivals will begin in 5 minutes...

in the lobby.

Mr. Dahl.

I do hope you understand it 's a one-time proposition.

You can't come and go as you please, back and forth, in and out, willy-nilly.

Don't worry, pal. If this goes well, you won't see me for another 20 years.

Toodle-loo, all! Come, Milo.

Please take a seat. We'll be with you in a moment.

I'm home! I'm home!

They thought if they dealt me a bad hand, I'd fold. Not Elmore Dahl!

I had no cards, and I still hoaxed the whole damned lot!

You should have seen me, kid! It was the bluff of the century!

What 's wrong? Are you feeling the weight?

That 's called gravity. You're flesh and blood now.

Don't worry, you'll get used to it.

In a couple of hours, you'll be begging to be born! Come on!

I'm alive! I'm alive!

The weather service assures us it should be clear by late afternoon.

Currently, the weather's fifty-six here in New York City.

And our top story: Are you having a problem with your pregnancy?

Has the baby not arrived? Well, you're not the only one.

Joel Moran has the word down at Country General. Joel?

ln a bizarre coincidence that left hospitals across the state quiet...

not one baby has been born since yesterday afternoon.

Kevin!

-I'll get the doctor? -No, look.

l talked to the head of Obstetrics at Manhattan General today.

-Has this ever happened before? -This has never happened before.

This is a remarkable phenomenon we're witnessing and...

Did you hear that? No babies were born yesterday! What 's happening?

I don't now, just some kind of...

bizarre coincidence?

-Do you believe that? -Honey, what else could it be?

-Right, what else could it be? -What else could it be?

-What else? -A thing...

Let me tell you the first lesson about life, kid:

You wanna feel good, you gotta look good.

Boy! Am I looking good?

Hey, come out here. What 's the matter?

Look at the kid!

Very hip. Very now. Very...

You know why they probably choose me? Because I love life!

I love everything about it. I love the crowds, the smells. I love...

And I love you. I love you! I love you!

A bite of the Big Apple, and you'll be sailing down the birth canal.

So what do you wanna do first? What 's wrong?

You feeling hungry? Hungry? You're alive now, kiddo.

You got the whole five senses, the whole package.

Get ready, Milo, you'll experience one of the great pleasures of life.

Come on! Come on!

Allow me to introduce you to the pastrami sandwich.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Go! Go! Dig in! Dig in!

There's nothing like being hungry and eating your favorite food.

Go ahead! You'll love it!

There's no way anyone could teach you about the pleasure of eating.

You gotta do it yourself. Take a bite.

The kid's a natural!

He's going for the sneak attack. What technique! What do you say?

You love it, right?

You probably have something like a baby's constitution.

This should be okay. Now try this. Come on, take it!

You can trust me on this. You'll love it.

Just give it a little lick. Come on, it 's delicious. Come on!

That 's real good.

Yeah. Good, huh?

They got 30 flavors. You can have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

That 's it. That 's the ticket. Yeah, he likes it!

...raging out of control, causing residents to flee fortheir lives.

A 6.9 earth quake rivals the Northridge, California earth quake...

...flash flooding left several people stranded in their cars...

Hurricane Jennifer struck the Florida coast late this afternoon...

-Yeah, Liz, sorry. -It sounds busy there.

So I'm hanging out, bored, waiting for the doctor to give the okay.

I'll be out of here in a couple of hours. I'll swing by on my way home.

I need to print out another copy of the Rothman file.

-You don't have to come in. -Well, what do you mean?

-Well, you're in no condition... -I'm fine! Nothing happened.

Listen, l gave the job to Sheffer.

-When did you decide this? -A couple of hours ago.

I can't believe it. I mean, I'm gone not even a day!

My body's not even cold, and the vultures are already at my bones!

And you're letting them do it.

-Just calm down, Liz. -''Calm down''?

-What was l supposed to do? -Screw you, Darlene!

I'm glad I found out today instead of four months from now.

I can't believe you! They got a word for people like you.

-Don't say it! -Two-faced, back-stabbing...

...lie-about-your-age bitch! -Fine!

Nature. The real deal!

Look around you. You got ducks, squirrels, trees, people...

roller disco, natural stuff!

It 's gonna be your very own private playpen.

See that funny little bald guy in the stroller?

This time next week, that could be you!

Kicking back while old lady pushes you, caters to your every need.

A few years later, you're taking your dog for a run...

breathing in that good, clean, New York air!

So let 's recap:

You got your personal playground, cotton candy, ice cream...

candy apple, popcorn...

all the things you need to be a happy, regular normal kid, right?

What 's wrong? What?

Elmore? I can't believe this is normal!

It 's normal. Normal, regular bodily function. Don't worry about it.

It 's not worth eating if you're gotta go through this every time.

Tina?

Baby! It 's Elmore, Elmore Dahl. I'm back in town!

Elmore? I'm married now.

-When did you do that? -A while back.

-Yeah, it has been a few years. -Right. l have five kids now.

-How many kids? -Five.

Tina, you're breaking... up!

Call... back... toodle...

Five kids!

It 's coming out the other end now!

Don't worry. I tell you it 's normal. Okay, moving on.

-Tina? -This is Madelyn.

Hi, doll. Boy, great connection. How's it hanging up there?

Never mind that! What are you doing down there?

You should be supervising the boy, not looking up retired strippers!

Tina's not a stripper. It 's an off-Broadway show, very artistic!

-If I can offer a suggestion... -You what?

Don't forget to bring Milo to places that inspire the soul.

-What? -The soul, Elmore.

You know life is not just a collection of carnal pleasures.

-Wait a second. Yeah? -It feels like it 's over. Now what?

There's the roll of paper to the side maybe there?

Yeah, well, you know. You get a few sheets of that and... you know.

I don't know. I've never been born, remember?

You'll have to show me.

The kid will be right back.

Hidy-ho, folks.

Got some good news. I'm sending you home on one condition:

No sky diving.

This place is packed with culture, all the art you'd ever want to see.

You got the modern art, you got the old art. Classy things.

I think you're more the sensitive, artistic type. No problem.

I'm one hell of a sensitive guy myself.

Many a time I walked by and thought: ''You should really go in some day!''

This one reminds me of... what was her name?

So go, stroll around, breathe in the culture.

I'll be right back.

Now, if I can have your attention.

This is one of the most important depictions of the fate of humanity.

This was his view of his life and his time.

What the artist saw and what he felt. This was his view of reality.

And to many in our own era, I'm afraid, their reality too.

Now let 's take a look at the next painting.

Over here, we see a similar theme from a different era.

Is this Joyce Hart, the dancer?

Rockettes?

Long legs?

Hey, kid! Where are you going?

-What 's wrong? -Nothing!

You wanna go to the bathroom again?

I don't like it here, I want to go back.

Back? What are you talking about? We still got the rest of the day.

Listen, listen, wait a minute. Milo, wait a minute.

This was a bad place to come. I got some bad advice.

This is for older people, stuffy people.

Come on.

Why the sad face? We're on a holiday here.

You can't pull a sad face on a holiday.

Let me show you something. Watch this.

This is tricky. Now watch.

I'm gonna try and pull the top of my thumb off with this finger.

Now just watch. See that?

I can't get it back on! I can't get it back on!

Blow! Blow on my hand, come on! Help me out here! Come on!

Thanks. I think I'm alright.

That 's it! We did it. It 's back!

There's a smile, see?

Now, what do you want to do next?

There must be something. Something you read about at the Center?

Something you always wanted to see?

Snow.

I wanna see snow!

It 's a little early in the season for snow.

You don't want to see snow, trust me. It 's wet, cold, a big mess!

Right. I got something better than snow.

I'm going to take you to a place I know you'll go for. Kids love it!

Oh, my God!

How could this happen?

No baby, no job. Everything we own, ruined.

Everything we own is not ruined.

Look. For example, here's a perfectly dry pair of infant socks.

Listen, I got a brilliant idea.

I gotta go feed Pete's cat, that horrible, screaming, wretched.

Why don't we go over there, fire up that huge entertainment center...

and order some international food, and sit there and forget about this?

-I wanna finish this. -Give me that.

Come on, I got a surprise for you. Come on, come sit down.

I was gonna wait, but this seems like an appropriate time.

Sit, sit. Settle, settle.

-Good. -What is it?

Remember that house we looked at in Perskill, the one by the river?

-The one for sale? -Not for very much longer.

-Why not? -I made an offer on it last week.

And if the credit Gods smile upon us, soon...

we'll be standing on our front hearth saying, ''Home, sweet home''.

Say it with me: ''Home, sweet home''.

Look, here we are. Here's Elizabeth and Kevin!

What a beautiful house. Bring the baby!

-Oh, it 's beautiful, it 's beautiful! -You scare me, Kevin.

It seems so easy for you. Like it 's some kind of dream or something.

-Things aren't really real here. -What does that mean, ''real''?

Well, like we're about to become parents, Kevin.

-Are you ready for that? -I was born ready.

-Well, today you buy a house! -I just made an offer on it.

We have seven days to take it back. It 's a surprise!

Fine, fine, so today you want to buy a house...

and tomorrow, what? Are you even gonna be around?

-I'm not your father, Elizabeth. -I never said that you were.

Yes, you did. You do. All the time.

Look, I am sorry he walked out on you.

But that doesn't make me a bad father and our future doomed.

Honey, you've got to loosen up a little!

That 's not us. Why do you have to live there?

Why can't you enjoy life, what this is. What are you so afraid of?

Pollution, poverty, war, famine, pestilence!

You name it! Face it, Kevin, the world is totally screwed up.

-You have to be afraid all the time? -Don't patronize me.

Then don't be so ridiculous! It 's not a perfect world.

We know that. It depends on how you look at it.

-To me, it seems pretty great! -Well, you're blind!

It 's better than being paranoid and completely neurotic.

-At least I act my age. -How old is that? Dead and buried?

-Yolanda? -No, there's no Yolanda here.

-You have the wrong number. -I'm gonna take a ride.

Feed the cat, whatever.

-Beautiful, isn't she? -She sure is big.

I knew you'd like it. All kids like big things. It must be some rule.

What 's she holding?

That 's a torch to light the way in for the ships going into the harbor.

Read that.

''Give me your tired, your poor...

your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.''

Nice, huh? I've been here a dozen times.

Even so, it still makes me slightly misty when I read those words.

I bet they didn't teach you...

all the ideas the human race has come up with over the years.

Grand ideas like... freedom and the Bill of Rights.

The human race is a very fine race. Be proud to be part of it. Come on.

Who are the poor people?

The poor people, who are they?

The poor people? You see, this here is for people from overseas.

But you're going to be born here. You got it made.

This is for foreigners, who come for work.

But anybody tries to get your job, Uncle Sam gives them the heave-ho.

That 's how it 's done. Kind of uplifting, ain't it?

-Where are you going? -Up.

Up? Up?

I'll take it.

Okay, ''Cheese''.

I liked that.

Sure you liked that. What 's not to like, climbing 735 steps?

What is it with kids and climbing? My kid was the same! Up and down.

There's a tree, up the tree. There's a statue, up the statue.

-You had a kid? -Wife, kid, the whole deal.

Do you miss them?

-Sure. -Where is your kid now?

I don't know. Around, I guess.

I've been out of commission for a while. You know what I mean?

How'd you die?

Why are you asking all these questions?

Keep it light. We're supposed to be having fun here.

Did it hurt?

One day you're alive, the next day you're dead. That 's what happens.

If you're careful, it won't happen to you for a long, long time.

Just don't be like me and put money you don't have in a long shot.

You might find yourself being part of the bridge.

It 's getting late. So, what do you say?

You liked the park, you liked the ice cream, the candy, the statue.

Life is a blast. Besides, if you don't get back soon...

they'll put Ralphy on Prozac. So what do you think?

You wanna be born, right?

Go on, say it: ''I wanna be born!''

I'm not sure.

Something is wrong, l can tell by your voice.

Nope, everything is fine, Mom. I'm just dandy.

It doesn't sound that way to me. Let me speak to Kevin.

He went out for a little while.

Well, what did the doctor say?

-Nothing. He said: ''Go home''. -Really? Well, that's great.

Mom?

Remember when we used to go to Atlantic City?

What was the name of that hotel? The lucky one?

-The Tropicana. -Right, the Tropicana.

Your father's idea of a family vacation.

Me in the spa, you on his knee at the blackjack table.

That 's so funny. Here I hate gambling. I stink at it.

You'd think, for being around so long, I'd have a knack for winning.

I can't even win a prize in a Cracker Jack box.

Neither could he.

Atlantic City.

Mom, I'm gonna call you back later, okay?

-Okay, honey. You take care. -Alright. I love you. Bye.

Hey, Max!

God, you scared the crap out of me!

I didn't know you were here. I'm sorry.

-Why aren't you at the hospital? -False alarm.

Look at this.

-What 's with all the water? -A pipe broke.

-Where is Kevin? -Out.

I was just bringing in some supplies.

Max?

Blackjack...

the dealer has to hit on 16 and stay on 17? Or the other way around?

You had it the first time.

Alright, I'm out of here!

Max?

You busy?

I'm busy doing nothing.

If this doesn't make you say ''I want to be born''...

my name is not Elmore Dahl! This is going to make you say it faster...

Another big building? This is the big surprise?

Of course not. There's supposed to be a toy store here!

Where the hell is it? Toy stores can't just get up and walk away!

Toy stores. Toy stores.

Toy stores.

Toy stores.

We have a new problem.

It looks like if the great door closes, it might close for good.

Elmore, do you understand what I'm saying? No more births, only deaths.

This could mean the end of the human race.

Yes, ''wow'', indeed!

-It would be wise to inform Milo. -Elmore? Oh, my God, Elmore!

-Is that you? -Anna?

-Anna Nosbush? -I can't believe it!

Aren't you supposed to be dead?

Get over here. I just got a divorce!

-We're celebrating! -I'm busy right now. Maybe later.

You get over here or I'll drag that sexy ass right across the street!

-Come on! -Gotta go now.

Damn.

Busted.

Look at that. I haven't won a hand ever!

-I've never won a hand. -I'm sorry.

Nineteen.

You gamble much?

Okay.

Nineteen!

-That 's not right. -You'll never catch up.

Hit me! Alright, seventeen.

You're some kind of hustler, young lady.

-Just getting the cards. -Yeah, I should say so.

I never seen no streak like that before.

If I was you...

I'd take that good luck to Atlantic City and hurt one of those casinos!

For sure!

Alright. Cut the cards.

Isn't that great? That 's what happened.

Is Elmore in there?

I'll see if he's available. One second.

There's a boy here for you, Elmore. He's very short.

What boy? Wait a minute.

Milo, how are you doing, buddy?

I thought you were looking for a toy store.

But it 'd be closed now, anyway. Even if we did find it.

Sorry about that. Anna Nosbush, old friend of the family.

So, what do you wanna see? Where do you want to go?

Plenty of places. You had ice cream, Central Park...

What about some music? Do you like jazz?

What am I thinking?

What a dope I am! Come here! Come here!

Anna! Anna!

We're going for a drive! Start your engine. Get in there.

It's me. Before you say anything,l want to apologize for what l said.

You're not dead and buried and I'm glad of it.

So am I.

-Who is this? -Max.

-Max! Will you put Liz on, please? -She just stepped out.

She stepped out? Where did she go?

Don't blame me, Kevin, it wasn't exactly my fault.

I just told her that she was lucky, that 's all.

Max, where did she go?

Max?

-What will you be when you grow up? -Do you have a date?

-Stop it, you're killing me! -All of it bubbling. Bubbling.

-It 's Darryl. -Darryl?

-You got an Elmore Dahl back there? -You bet there is!

Phone. It 's behind you.

I'm not sure he can do it.

Just where the hell...

where the heck are you going?

Ralphy! Where am I going?

I'm heading down the backstretch, baby!

Are you out of your mind?

Will you turn the vehicle around and get back to the business at hand?

Cool it, Ralpho. Listen...

the regular tourist sights ain't working, right?

The kid likes to gamble, right?

I'm taking him to the gambling capital of the entire East Coast.

Don't ruffle your feathers, pal!

Alright. Okay. It 's just we're running out of options here.

Elmore? Elmore?

-Please! -I'm sorry.

I lost the phone there.

He's drunk.

You are such an angel!

Thanks, sweetie.

Milo?

Come on, kiddo.

Come on!

This is it. Milo, feast your eyes, the promised land!

Eternal happiness, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week...

365 a year!

If you need a drink, they bring it to you.

You take a rest, there's Keno on your TV in your bedroom.

And look, the Casino buffet! $6.95, all you can eat.

Slots! Roulette! Poker!

This is heaven.

Just say the words.

We're gonna take this suckers. Come on, Milo.

-''I...'' -I...

...wanna... -...wanna...

...be... -...be...

''...born.'' -Excuse me, Sir?

Children are not allowed on the casino floor. I'm sorry.

It 's alright. I'm just gonna set him on my lap while I play Twenty-One.

-I'm sorry. -Pal, come on.

I used to... I used to come here all the time.

Does Morey still work here?

If you'd like to speak to management, it 's on the 2nd floor.

-Thank you. -You can take the kid to the lounge.

-We'll buy the limo! -Okay, we'll see you later.

Stay with him a couple of minutes. This won't take long.

Don't worry. He must be new. He doesn't know the pull I have here.

Stay there. I'll be right back.

So, you're a friend of the family?

Elmore? You know his family?

Elmore's family?

That 's right, he was married.

A little... what was it? A boy?

A girl! Yeah, that 's right.

He had a family. He told me that.

Split on them a long time ago.

''Split''?

You know, left, junked, quit, deserted, scrapped.

Elmore Dahl is not your family man.

I put that thought out of my head the first day I met him.

You're okay here, right? I wanna go throw some coins in the slots.

Anna!

Congratulations! Where is the kid?

Anna, where's the kid?

I left him at that thing over there.

Are you in, Miss?

The dealer takes all.

-We'll get tickets. -Here he is.

-Okay. I'll see you later. -Honey! We got the tickets!

We got a couple of hours, so why don't we... you know?

-I gotta find that kid! -Come on! We'll get a room...

and I'll...

Well?

-Don't answer that. -I wasn't thinking about it.

Just a second.

Don't worry. He must be around here someplace. I'll find him!

-You have exactly 73 minutes. -Try outside. On the boardwalk.

Come on, come on!

Milo! Stop! Stop!

What are you doing out here, buddy?

Don't run off without telling! You'll drive your parents nuts.

No problem. I found Morey. It 's okay.

We gotta hustle it if we want to play a few hands. Look at the time.

We gotta send you on your way.

-I don't really wanna play. -You don't wanna play?

-I'm actually ready to go now. -Okay! Good! Come on!

But I'm not coming back. I really don't want to be born. So...

What about the Statue of Liberty?

The ice cream? I thought you liked that.

If you don't get back there before 12 o'clock, the Big Door will close.

What about the other kids? They won't get born if you don't go!

I'd be doing them a favor.

Don't you think they're the ones to make that decision?

It 's tough.

No, no, you got to go. This isn't just some little kid game!

This is the future of humanity. This is important!

And you care about what 's important? You don't care about humanity!

You don't care about your own family!

What is that supposed to mean?

You split on them.

''Split on them''? Where are you getting these words?

Things can get complicated. You don't know what life's really like.

Good! That 's the way I want to keep it.

Go ahead. I don't want to be born, so you can just take me back.

Boy, have I been wasting my time?

You want to go back? You can find your own damn way back.

I've got an hour left to live and I'm going to use it! Toodle-lo!

Driver, back to the hotel!

-What 's going on? -Baby, we're getting a room.

On the double! On the double! Move it! Move it!

Miss?

Sorry. Hit me.

Hit me.

Hit me.

-Are you alright, Miss? -Hit me!

Are you playing, Miss? Miss, are you playing?

Settle down, Elmore!

Sweetie, we got all night!

I, at least, have to take a quick bath.

Alright, but don't, you know, make it a production!

Just one more time That's all I'm asking

Let's make some love

-Hotel operator. -Operator, could you hold all calls?

Thanks.

Can't get me, Dad!

-Can't get me! -Gotcha!

I'm gonna get you!

Hello.

Are you crying?

Why?

'Cause I feel miserable.

Are you lost?

I am.

Have you ever seen this?

This is supposed to make you feel better.

Thanks.

No problem.

Do you like ice cream?

Anna?

I'm almost ready!

...the on-going baby crisis.

Our reporter, Mary Jo Scott, has all the details.

The baffling phenomenon has been reported in over 100 countries.

Scientists have no explanation forthe...

-You can stop calling, it 's over. -What did you say?

You heard me. The kid won't go for it. I've tried everything!

And I've got a little unfinished business to take care of here.

When it 's done, we'll be right back up.

See? I told all of you. This was a big mistake!

Listen here, friend! Don't think you can sneak away from this one.

Elmore, you've still got 21 minutes.

The child. Mankind.

-Maybe you could... -Aren't you listening? It's over!

What do you want me to say? I screwed up. I'm a bum, alright?

Why did he sent me, of all people?

Whose stupid idea was that anyhow?

His.

-His? Who ''his''? -His.

His?

His. And He doesn't make stupid mistakes, Elmore.

He must have had a reason.

What reason? What do I know about children?

I couldn't even deal with my own kid!

Maybe that 's why you were chosen.

Maybe you've been given a chance to make amends.

A second chance.

Mr. Percival is right, Elmore.

Don't quit on this child.

You still got a few minutes.

Baby?

I'm ready!

This bath is hot. And so am I!

Shit!

That was the best!

Something to really live for.

You know, it 's awfully late for you to be on your own.

Where are your parents?

I don't have any.

-I'm sorry. -It 's no big deal.

Well, you must have someone. Someone must be taking care of you.

Yeah, there's this guy...

but all of a sudden, he just kind of split.

-What? -My baby just kicked. A big one.

Can I...?

Yeah, sure.

Here. Right there.

He just moved! I felt it.

You want me to tell your fortune? I got a knack for cards.

Thanks.

This is behind you, your past. Below, your foundation.

This is your hopes. This is your fears.

This is in front of you, your immediate future.

Ready?

That 's nice.

Hearts and spades. It 's all hearts and spades.

You have a lot of love in your life, but also a lot of fear.

What?

It seems like you already have everything you ever dreamed of.

Why am I so afraid?

Did somebody walk out on you when you were young?

What 's this guy like?

Well, he's a real class ''A'' jerk, but...

Yeah, I know the type.

So I guess we're both in the same boat, huh?

What 's this one?

It 's you!

It 's you!

Are you okay?

What time is it?

Almost twelve.

Oh, no! I've done a horrible thing! I've ruined everything!

You don't have to get upset. It can't be that bad.

Yes, it is! It 's all screwed up!

Milo!

Is that you? Are you Milo?

So there you go, your guy's back. He didn't leave!

Go ahead.

Milo!

I'm sorry I ran out on you before. I was wrong. I'll take you back now.

But one thing... Shut up and listen!

Here's what I want to say: You gotta give this life thing a shot!

It 's not about what 's in it for me! It 's your life I'm talking about.

Some things we didn't get round to. First of all, you'll fall in love.

-I know, Elmore! -Life's not all a bed of roses.

But if you hang in there, maybe you'll have your own kid!

-I know, Elmore! -You might have two or three. What?

I know. I want to be born.

-What did you say? -I said: ''I want to be born.''

You said: ''I want to be born''? That 's what you said?

-He wants to be born! -Just a second.

I did it! I did it!

I did it! I did it!

-Yes, you did it. Fine. -5 words! He said the 5 words!

Can you see the door?

Where? Yeah, I see it.

-Where's Milo? -He's right here.

-Where did he go? -He just walked into this shop.

He's not lost again, is he?

He's right in front of me. He's talking to some...

Dear God!

Don't worry, everything's gonna be okay.

My friend came back and I have a feeling yours will, too.

Well, I don't think that 's possible, but thank you for the thought.

You never know.

Toodle-loo!

So, she's your...?

Which means, I'm your...?

You better hurry!

Elizabeth!

Liz!

Kevin!

What?

Wait! Wait! Hold it! What 's the matter?

-The baby dropped! -Excuse me?

Can you call an ambulance, please?

Get up, Milo.

I can't.

Could somebody give me a hand out here?

I'm afraid no one here is a ''special case'' like you, Mr. Dahl.

We can't go out that door.

Come on, kid! You gotta get up, Milo!

I've been scammed.

They knew this was gonna happen, didn't they?

Shit!

It 's okay. What?

What? What 's the matter?

What, babe? Hold on. Hold on.

Come on, hurry! Hurry!

It 's okay. Breath, breath.

Bring him this way! Hurry! Hurry!

Elmore, hurry up!

Faster! Faster, Elmore!

It 's almost time!

Come on.

Yeah, that 's it.

Come on, Milo.

Come on!

Push, push!

Good, good. Breathe, breathe.

-Breathe deeply. -I saw my Dad!

-Do it! Come on! -I saw my Dad!

Do it! Come on!

Go on, kid. You can do it! Go on.

Breathe, breathe!

I got him.

Hush, hush!

-Good work, Elmore. -No big deal.

I don't suppose I'll be getting...

another ''get out of jail'' card soon.

-I'm afraid that... -Right. A deal's a deal.

The scammer got scammed. I gotta hand it to you.

-I can't take the credit. -It was a set up all the way.

He does things in mysterious ways.

So they say.

Anyway, no complaints. I got a nice day out of it.

I guess this is goodbye.

Toodle-loo!

One last thing:

I wanted a gift for the kid, kind of a birthday present.

Thought maybe you could pull some strings? Talk to the big guy for me?

Alright. But now you can talk to Him yourself.

Going up!

The unexplained baby drought turned into a flash flood of newborns...

as hospitals struggled to cope with the uncanny phenomenon.

On the East Coast, the spigot turned on around midnight...

with literally hundreds of women delivering within seconds of labor.

Scientists are thoroughly baffled by the phenomenon.

Now, he has all of his fingers and toes, right?

He's perfect, Mom. He's the most perfect thing I've ever seen.

-Give him a big kiss from Grandma. -You'll see when you get here.

l bet he's the cutest little thing in the world!

I have the most amazing dream to tell you about.

-l can't wait to see you. -Alright. Have a safe trip.

-Bye, honey. Bye-bye. -I love you.

Is she still crying?

-You happy? -Very.

That 's weird.

It never snows this early in the season.

Look at that! Look at that!