Original subtitles

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

My boyfriend died...

173 days ago.

It was stupid.

He was biking in our neighborhood.

When this...

unattended hot dog cart...

rolled down the hill and knocked him into the Gowanus Canal.

The coroner said he probably died on impact.

I guess getting pummeled by a pile of wieners is better than drowning.

I'm not trying to be glib about it.

I do miss him.

Sam.

I just feel...

I don't know.

I think about him all the time.

I think about smelling him.

And touching him.

Being touched by him.

I fantasize that it's still possible.

Which brings me to Glory Holes.

I think I'm obsessed with them.

Best head of my life at Glory Hole.

87 Rest Stop near Coxsackie.

What a magic mountain.

North or southbound?

Geez, this is not okay.

People take their kids there?

LOL.

Sorry dad, but those DL gays gotta get it somewhere.

Homosexuality is still illegal in 64 countries.

I'm not DL and I love Gas Station Head.

Love the risk of it.

There's a long history of gay men having sex in public.

Cruising, bath houses.

Precisely because society keeps pushing us into the shadows.

And cause he's hot.

Anybody looking to suck near Vancouver?

In St. Louis, sorry, but love to suck.

Have great Glory Hole set up here.

Love getting an unsuck.

Jizzin' into the abyss.

I've got a great Glory Hole at home too.

Cut a hole in a soft blanket.

Presco suck hole.

At SirArthur here, how big do you cut the hole?

At Benjyboi.

Depends on how big is your dick boi.

At SirArthur here, average?

At Benjyboi.

3-4 inch diameter is usually good.

Where are you?

Want me to come show you how to use it?

At SirArthur here, no thanks, just gonna jerk off.

At Benjyboi.

Try lubing up a kitchen glove.

Pretend it's my mouth.

At Benjyboi.

Ehhhhhhhhh.

Ow!

Am I gonna like.

..

hallucinate?

Psychedelics affect everyone differently.

I want you to try to release any pre-existing notions about what a trip should be.

What if I freak out?

Hmph.

That's what I'm here for.

Should I be doing something right now?

Or...

What are you feeling in your body, Benjy?

I don't know.

Let's hold space for...

not knowing.

Sorry?

What are you afraid of, Benjy?

Hello?

Sam!

True or false?

We must protect our children at all costs.

True.

True...

or false?

Hell is real.

And he is rotting in it.

That's also true, I'm afraid.

One more.

Hm?

Hm?

True or false?

It's too late for you.

False!

Let the wicked repent their ways.

And the righteous their thoughts.

Let them turn to the Lord so he may have mercy on them!

That's my boy.

Yeah.

Ma'am.

They're ready for him.

Sam.

Shh.

Shhh.

You gonna piss or what?

You lookin' at my dick.

No, no.

What?

I said no.

You didn't even call me a piss, did you?

.

.

.

I

really miss you.

Good.

That's right.

I guess I'm just embarrassed.

Because of all the glory holes.

I just feel so perverse.

You are perverse.

I'm being serious.

It's not a prison, babe.

It's a portal.

What do you mean?

You're grieving the most formative gay relationship of your life?

What about James Marston?

You're grieving the most formative reciprocal gay relationship of your life.

There's still time.

Oh, bitch.

I don't know how to be gay without you.

Suck a dick.

It's not that hard.

I don't know how to be me without you.

Yes, you do.

You're ready for what?

That one.

I still don't get it either.

I just feel like my heart is gonna explode all the time.

So, let it.

Will you hold me?

I'm hanging up.

WhatsApp not받으셨.

Have you followed?

How long has it been?