Original subtitles

(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) You sell all these dirty magazines?

Boy, I tell you, the world's gone to

hell, Jake.

Ten years ago, the big seller was guns

and ammo.

If you ask me, the world's getting better.

Oh, that was a great run.

I'll see you later?

Yeah, I'll meet you at the student union

before class.

We can get a soda.

Oh, come on, Reg.

You're dating that kid from your psych class?

Yeah, what's wrong with that?

Come on, he's three.

What's his name again, Skippy?

Brad.

And I'm not that much older than him.

Yeah, in dog years.

Besides, I thought you told me you didn't

like him.

Changed my mind.

Brad's everything I like in a man.

He's smart, handsome, funny.

Breathing.

Shut up.

You know, I think it's great.

You couldn't find a boyfriend, so you grew

one.

You know, older men date younger women all

the time.

It's such a double standard.

Damn right it is.

An older guy dates a younger woman.

He's a pig.

An older woman dates a younger man.

And she's getting her groove back.

I can't believe you're so old-fashioned.

I can't believe you saw that movie.

You know, you can call whenever you want.

I just stand around most of the time

anyways.

Oh, I gotta go.

Yeah, it's her.

And her is not happy.

Big nose and greasy hair should not be

written on a patient's charts.

Well, then why is there a space for

a second opinion?

You know, if you took the time to

understand why we do what we do around

here instead of making calls, maybe you wouldn't

make these mistakes.

First of all, Gil called me.

And second...

Go on.

If you should find yourself with nothing to

do, why don't you observe what I do?

Maybe you will learn something.

Okay.

But we can skip talking on the phone

because I think I got that down.

Hi, Linda.

Margaret, is he in?

Hi, Liz.

Yeah, he's in his office.

Go on back.

John, we have to talk.

What?

I didn't do anything.

No, no.

Relax.

It's just that I don't have to work

Saturday night.

Oh, great, great.

There's a championship fight on.

We could order food from Ming's.

No.

That's what we have to talk about.

I can't stay home, watch TV, and order

Chinese one more night.

Well, you're in luck.

They have Thai dishes at Ming's.

No, no, no.

I want to go out.

I want to socialize.

I want to see people.

John, you and I are like two gophers

who go underground on Friday night and don't

come up until Monday morning.

Now, this has got to change.

So I've decided we're gonna have a dinner

party.

I don't even know you anymore.

Come on.

It's gonna be fun.

We'll have some people to my place.

No, I don't want to go to your

place.

Your place is too far.

Fine.

We'll have it at your place with your

friends.

No, Liz, don't.

John, this means a lot to me.

Couldn't we please do it?

Even though that was phrased as a question,

it really wasn't, was it?

Not really, no.

All right, all right, all right.

We'll have a dinner party.

And you'll smile and mingle and be a

gracious host.

Oh, man, I thought it was just a

dinner party.

Jake, do you really think it's weird I'm

dating someone so much younger?

No, not at all.

Good.

I can see how you'd want to hold

on to your youth as long as possible.

I mean, most women your age are getting

facelifts or boob jobs.

I wanted to get a boob job, but

newsstand operator was taken.

Okay, let's not do this anymore.

Cradle robber.

Oh, good, you're both here.

Uh, Saturday night, my place.

You're both invited to a dinner party.

No, no, I'm serious, I'm serious.

For some insane reason, Liz wants us to

see other people, so I couldn't think of

anyone I like.

I'm inviting the two of you.

Good job on the fights on Saturday night.

So watch it at my place.

During a dinner party?

Without sound.

A big help, thanks.

Oh, great, great, you'll be there.

You can bring Kira, and you can bring

Skippy.

All right, I'll come.

But you have to promise not to make

fun of Brad.

Not make fun of Brad.

Come on, Reg, it's supposed to be a

party.

Margaret, why do you type the forms?

Because they're easier to read.

Why do you use those stamps?

Because those are the ones we have.

Why not use pretty stamps like Christmas stamps?

Christmas is over.

Well, so's James Cagney, but you use those.

Margaret, have you got any more responses for

my dinner party?

Oh, I'm only up to G in your

address book, and so far it's ten no's,

six no ways, four hang-ups, and a

word so filthy I had to ask Linda

what it meant.

It was a good one.

Oh, what the hell, you know, what are

you two doing Saturday night?

Despite that gracious invitation, have you forgotten the

last time you, me, and Louis had dinner

together?

He's still upset?

That was six years ago.

Okay, I'll talk to him.

Thank you.

And what about you and, uh, whoever you'll

be seeing by Saturday?

That would be Gil, but the court says

he can't go north of 125th Street or

his electric boot will go off.

John, I shopped for the food, I made

the dinner, I set the table.

Would it be too much trouble to ask

you to turn off the damn fight and

put on your pants?

There.

Thank you.

You know, I think, Kira, I can sit

over there between Louis and Brad.

Oh, I hope I didn't make too much

salad.

I'm sorry.

Oh, hey, look at that, Jake's on TV.

I thought he was coming to dinner.

That reminds me.

Uh, no, he called earlier.

He and Kira got tickets to the fight.

John.

Lucky I didn't turn the TV off.

I would have forgotten to tell you.

Oh, hey, I'll get it.

See, I'm being helpful.

Well, now we're just eight.

Oh, hey.

Either I'm early or this is a different

kind of party than I thought.

Hi, where's Louis?

Downstairs, he won't get out of the car.

I just came up to tell you we

can't come.

Why?

Louis only left the house because I told

him we were going to the fight.

I thought I could change his mind, but

he really hates you.

I'm sorry, Liz.

What in the world happened between you and

Louis?

Well, there was trouble.

What kind of trouble?

Bad trouble.

Great.

No Jake, no Margaret.

Well, I guess that just leaves six of

us.

Um, actually, sweetheart, it only leaves four of

us.

Linda couldn't come.

Why didn't you tell me?

And don't say you forgot.

You're kind of tying my hands here, aren't

you?

Oh, here we go, here we go.

Hi, come on in.

Liz, this is Brad, Brad Liz.

Becker, you remember Brad.

Oh, yeah, sure.

He's getting bigger every time I see him.

Come on in, come on in.

So, we must be the first to arrive.

And the last.

Linda was never coming, Jake is at the

fight, and Margaret's husband hates John so much

he wouldn't get out of the car.

May I take your coats?

Oh, thank God.

Maybe Louis changed his mind.

Who are you?

Wayne.

I'm here for the dinner party.

Do I know you?

I don't know.

But some woman named Margaret called and invited

me.

I hope you like flan.

So, Reggie, how did you and Brad meet?

Oh, we're in psychology class together.

I saw a psychologist once.

And?

She said I was competent to stand trial.

Let's not fill up on salad.

There's pot roast coming.

Oh, uh, actually, I'm a vegetarian.

Oh, gee, I wish you had told John

about that.

I did.

Well, now, see, uh, you were worried about

having too much salad.

Now he can eat it all.

He could if there weren't bacon bits in

it.

So, Wayne, what do you do for a

living?

I work at the Cayuga Beef Company.

Oh, God.

Do you know how they kill those poor

animals?

Sure, we take a sledgehammer and bash their

heads in.

And sometimes we got to do it a

few times, especially if you get one of

them that just doesn't want to die.

Well, I hope everyone's hungry.

It's time for the roast.

Mmm.

Okay, I'll get it.

Say, isn't there a fight on the TV

tonight?

Yeah, as a matter of fact, there is.

Don't even think about it.

He's our guest, sweetheart.

You don't even know him.

Boxing is the one sport I just don't

get, you know?

I mean, what is it?

It's two guys in a ring hitting each

other.

Yeah, it's primitive.

It's barbaric.

I hate to disagree, ladies.

Well, you two wouldn't survive an hour in

the joint.

This is no Cayuga roast.

Ours have more fat on them.

Could you pass me the salt, please?

You brought your own knife?

Why, you want to borrow it to cut

up his food?

I'm sorry.

Becker?

I didn't say it.

He did.

John?

Well, he did.

I'm talking about the salt.

I've been slaving away all day to make

a nice meal, and you're dumping salt on

it.

It brings out the natural flavor.

Yeah?

Of salt?

All I wanted was to have one nice

night, and you've done everything possible to sabotage

it.

So why don't you just strip back down

to your underwear and invite a few more

convicts over so you can have a good

time?

You can talk about meat!

It's a poor hostess that makes her guests

feel uncomfortable.

Uh, Liz?

Shut up!

Now I know where I know you from.

You drive a beat-up green Oldsmobile, don't

you?

You rear-ended me last summer, and we

exchanged numbers at the scene.

I'm suing you.

That party was horrible.

It's never felt so out of place in

my entire life.

I know what you mean.

Hey, you want a beer?

I got my own fridge.

Can you believe someone threw this away?

Uh, no thanks.

I'm good.

Look, Brad, I'm really sorry about all the

cracks Becker was making about your age.

You don't have a problem with it, do

you?

No.

I'm fine.

Ow!

Sorry, dude.

I didn't know that you...

Dude.

Get out of here.

Dude.

Uh, sorry about that.

I just really wanted everything to be just

right, you know?

Since it's the first time.

You mean our first time.

No, my first time.

Oh, now I get it.

For a second there, I thought you were

serious, and I was like, ugh.

Oh, you are serious.

That's...

cool.

Does it bother you that I'm a virgin?

No.

I wanted to wait until I met someone

I really liked, and then I met you.

I'll remember this night for the rest of

my life.

Um, Brad, uh, I can't do this.

Reggie, what's wrong?

Uh, Brad, you're a terrific guy, and you're

right.

The first time should be perfect.

And this won't be.

I should go.

Is there nothing I can do to change

your mind?

Positive.

Why are you stapling those forms?

I don't know.

Why don't you use paper clips instead?

I don't know.

Why not staple them on the other side?

I don't know!

I don't know!

No, I just don't know.

And I don't know why I don't file

the patients by their first names, or why

the walls are not a more cheerful color,

or why I use blue ink instead of

black, or why you are still alive.

I just do it how I do it,

because that's how I do it.

Gosh, Margaret, I'm just trying to learn like

you told me.

Well, now I'm telling you to stop.

Just go back to doing exactly what you

used to do.

Read a magazine, talk on the phone, screw

stuff up.

Just don't bother me.

Damn, I'm good.

Oh, well, if it isn't Mr. Salty.

Shut up, will you?

I heard the fight at your house lasted

longer than the one at the garden.

Yeah, and thanks for running out.

Would you have to get junior home so

you could tuck him in?

As a matter of fact, we did go

back to Brad's place.

And I'll tell you something.

I think it's a night that neither one

of us will ever forget.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

So, how's Liz?

Still locked in the bathroom?

She left shortly after you did.

Did she say anything?

Just two words, loudly.

Did it ever occur to you to apologize?

Yeah, I'm not very good at apologizing.

How would you know?

It was her idea to have the dinner

party, and it wasn't my fault it didn't

work.

And what am I supposed to do, crawl

back to her place on my hands and

knees?

I'll tell you something.

If I had to choose between salt and

her, I know which way I'm going.

No, I'm with you, buddy.

I mean, show Liz who's boss.

Don't let her walk all over you.

I mean, if a man can't salt his

own steak...

Hey, just shut up.

Hello, John.

Oh, damn.

The flowers and the phone calls got me

over here.

Did you want to say something?

What kind of flower is badass?

Shut up.

Can we just talk about this in private,

please?

Well?

What?

You sent me flowers.

I assume you wanted to say something to

me.

Well, isn't that the point of sending flowers?

You don't have to say anything.

All right, I'll talk.

I knew who you were when we started

dating, but I thought that occasionally you might

meet me halfway.

Well, but what about the flowers?

Forget about the flowers.

Look, let's cut to the chase.

I want to hear you say, I'm sorry.

You do that, we move on.

The flowers are supposed to come in a

mug with a little heart.

Did you get the mug?

Oh, all right, all right.

I'm sorry.

Hey, shut up.

That's all I wanted.

You want to go get some Chinese food?

Well, if that's what you really want.

No, it wasn't the flowers that got me.

I thought it was pretty cute.

You sent me those steaks.

I didn't send you steaks.

Oh, my God.

An intro full of stories keeps the GlobeLink

team busy and drop the dead donkey at

ten, but next, Fraser's dodging his Greek aunt's

flying crockery, and she's not even celebrating.

Oh, no, no, no, public.

We're in public.