Original subtitles

(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) I can do this.

I'm feeling it, but hell, I'm not even

sweating.

I have it set on geriatric downhill.

Fine, smartass, bring it on.

I'm gonna need a cigarette.

What kind of a moron are you?

John, you don't make some lifestyle changes, you're

gonna die.

Oh, cut the crap, Roger, I'm not dying.

My test showed slightly elevated cholesterol.

Yeah, and you know what that means.

Yeah, I'm filled with buttery goodness.

You know the drill.

Reduce fat, cut out the cigarettes.

Those are my two favorite food groups.

And above all, stress management.

When you feel yourself about to lose your

temper, just take a deep breath and relax.

Oh, come on, how am I supposed to

relax?

Margaret's nagging at me, my lawyer's bitching at

me to change my will, I got patients

in my office, patients at the hospital, and

now you're on my ass.

Deep breath, John.

We all have pressures.

If you do what I tell you, you'll

probably live longer than anybody wants you to.

And you're gonna get some exercise.

What, exercise too?

Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at one o'clock,

I go jogging.

You're gonna come down here, you're gonna go

with me.

Or I tell Margaret about your cholesterol.

No, don't do that.

Just mother hen me to death.

I know.

Yeah, how do you expect me to turn

my entire life around?

Excuse me.

One o'clock.

Good morning.

If you insist.

You okay?

You look a little flushed.

I'm fine, it's just warm outside, that's all.

The weather must have taken a turn.

It's the ozone layer, it's screwing up everything.

Oh, Margaret, uh, mark down my calendar.

Monday, Wednesday, Friday, keep one o'clock open.

Why?

Margaret, how's your sex life?

That's none of your business.

Exactly.

Dr. Raffer, would you hold your finger here

for a second?

I'm making a bow.

Oh, for God's sake, Linda, I don't have...

Sorry about the fire alarm.

Don't worry about it.

Sweater for my friend Gil.

He gets out of jail on Thursday.

I wanted to get him something really nice.

But I didn't know whether to get him

the red sweater or the blue sweater, so...

Could you hurry this up?

Oh, okay.

So I got him the blue one because

his eyes are really blue.

No, no, no, just finish.

Then I return the blue one for the

red one.

Not the story, finish the ribbon.

But don't move, I just gotta go get

the scissors.

You're gonna be there for a while.

I hid the scissors yesterday when I caught

her running with them.

What am I, an idiot?

Hey, Rich, can I have a quick cup

of coffee?

Oh, yeah, in a sec.

Oh, I've been on hold with this shoe

company for over an hour.

It's so frustrating.

I ordered a pair of shoes from their

stupid catalog.

And when the package gets here, there's only

one shoe inside.

I bet you're a hopping mad.

Oh, that's great.

Everybody's funny.

Hey, Rich.

Boy, am I starving.

A hamburger, some french fries, uh...

Oh, man, I'll make that a fruit plate.

No, no, you know...

Yeah, fruit.

Damn it, how many times do I have

to hear this recording?

Watch it, she's hopping mad.

You get it?

Hopping mad.

Oh, damn, I left out the part about

the shoes.

They want you to hang up, because then

they win.

I don't care if I stay and hold

the rest of my fruit.

You don't eat fruit.

You hate fruit.

Look, you don't want my business.

There are plenty of places that will give

me fruit without an argument.

Sorry, I'm just so used to you eating

wrong.

Of course I eat wrong.

I eat here.

Greetings, bottom feeders.

Bob came for lunch at the drive before

I cooked crazy with his musk.

I can smell your musk from over here.

Don't you ever bathe?

Yes, I bathe.

It's the laundry that's a little tricky.

I may not be able to eat.

Bob knows what you're trying to do.

You're trying to make him look bad in

front of Reggie.

Well, it won't work.

She aches for me.

You turned my stomach.

That's an ache.

Go away.

Oh, not the recording again.

Dr. Becker, Margaret sent me over to get

you.

We need you back at the office right

away.

We've been trying to call you, but...

Well, there's the problem.

Well, thanks a lot, Linda.

My pleasure.

What's wrong?

What happened?

Well, Mr. Bloom cut his finger.

Well, actually, he didn't cut his finger.

I did.

See, I asked him to hold his finger

on my present while I re-wrapped it,

and I couldn't...

Is it bad?

Well, yeah, I bled all over it.

Now I have to re-re-wrap it,

and I still can't...

No, no.

Reg, wrap up my lunch, will you?

Linda, bring it with you.

You know, I think we have a lot

in common.

I'm not wearing a bra either.

Well, please tell me he's talking to you.

You know, I don't like that kind of

talk.

Well, I do, but not from you.

Oh, here's Becker's lunch.

Uh, no, that can't be.

It's fruit.

Well, that's what he ordered.

That's strange.

Hmm.

Ew!

Cover up!

Sorry, I must be coming down with something.

Hey, you're that girl from Dr. Becker's office.

You lost my urine sample.

It was a mistake.

It's not like I stole it for my

collection.

Sorry.

You know, I'm feeling kind of feverish.

You think the doctor has any appointments open?

I don't know.

You have to call.

There's a book.

It's a whole procedure.

Look, you know, I don't know when he'll

be able to see you because Dr. Becker

might be coming down with something himself.

He's eating fruit, and he never does that.

Did she say Dr. Becker's sick?

Yeah, apparently he's cutting back on his workload

and he's on some sort of special diet.

Gee, Dr. Becker takes care of my mother.

I hope he's all right.

Sure doesn't sound good.

Camille.

Hi.

Did you hear about Dr. Becker?

Honey, apparently he is very sick.

Oh, the man's been my doctor since I

moved here.

What's wrong?

Well, I don't know, but I heard he

has stopped eating.

How sad.

What's sad?

Dr. Becker's not doing well at all.

Oh, you heard something, too?

I can't keep food down.

That happened to my brother-in-law, and

in three weeks, swell.

Hey, how much is this?

Uh, 59 cents.

39 cents.

Never mind.

Such a shame Dr. Becker is so young.

Excuse me, what did you say?

Dr. Becker.

They say it's bad.

What's bad?

He's very sick.

I can't believe we're the last to know.

About what?

He always seems so healthy.

No.

Fine, stick your head in the sand.

You'll have to deal with this sooner or

later.

Get over here.

What in the world are you talking about?

On my way back from the diner, I

heard that Dr. Becker was sick.

Very sick.

Oh, please.

I've known John Becker a long time.

And if he was sick, believe me, I'd

know.

Doctor's office.

Excuse me?

Oh.

Dr. Axelrod would like to tell Dr. Becker

he's gonna be a few minutes late for

their 1 o'clock tomorrow?

Certainly.

I'll be glad to tell him.

If that doesn't prove he's sick, I don't

know what does.

Oh, please.

He and Dr. Axelrod are friends.

They could be having lunch.

They could be jogging.

Yeah, right.

Dr. Becker jogging.

Hey, you know...

You know what?

You go ahead.

I'll...

I'll catch up.

Linda, I told you yesterday if John were

sick, I'd know about it.

You know, he has changed his diet.

And now that I think about it, lately,

the way he walks, it looks like he's

in pain.

Jake, have you noticed that?

Right.

Sorry.

Although, he did give me tickets to a

Rangers game next month.

Said he couldn't use them because he didn't

know if he'd be around.

Maybe he has other plans for that day.

Or maybe he's sick.

Will you stop doing that?

We can't go crazy based on a bunch

of nuts in the street jabbering about nothing.

You know what, Margaret's right.

Of course I am.

Now, let's just end this talk right now.

And remember, no intelligent person listens to gossip

anyway.

It's all over town.

Becker's a dead man.

I'm telling you, the whole neighborhood's saying that

Doc's one flush from the ocean.

And how do they know?

How do I know how they know?

It's hot dish.

You don't question it.

You just tell everyone you can find.

Margaret, maybe you can call his doctor and

try to find something out.

He won't tell me.

That's privilege information.

He's still dating Liz, isn't he?

She's a doctor.

Ask her.

No.

I'm gonna mind my own business.

And I suggest you people do the same.

Margaret's right.

Of course I am.

I mean, we see Becker every day.

Why wouldn't he say something?

Oh, come on.

I'm dying.

Hug me.

Hold me.

Show me that you care.

That doesn't sound like John to me.

That doesn't sound like him to anybody.

That's the worst impression I've ever heard.

You didn't even change your voice.

Now you're a little dope.

I'm trying to make a point here.

Well, you succeeded.

You made it very clear that you can't

do impressions.

Could you shut the hell up?

Now that sounds like Becker.

It was just like this with my father.

He didn't let me know he was sick

until the very end.

Well, Dr. Becker wouldn't want our sympathy.

He'd keep it to himself, and then when

the time came, he'd do exactly what my

grandfather did.

He would put on his Eskimo parka, climb

into an ice floe, and float out towards

the setting sun.

Your grandfather was an Eskimo?

No, he was crazy.

I thought about Dr. Becker all night.

It's so strange.

One day you're here, and then the next

day you're not.

Let's make a promise right now.

Let's promise that we'll look for each other

in heaven.

Linda, I spent half my life looking for

you now.

That is not how I plan to spend

eternity.

Here he comes.

I'm just gonna ask him what's going on.

No, don't.

Just leave it alone.

Dr. Becker, when you go for those 1

o'clock appointments, exactly what are you doing?

Linda, how's your sex life?

Well, it was a little slow, but since

Gil got out of jail...

No, no, no, never mind, never mind.

Look, where I've been is none of your

business.

Margaret, who's up?

Phil Mann is in one.

Thank you.

Tom, I'll be there in a second.

Just stop that.

When are you gonna learn that gossip is

like poison?

It gets in your system, and then before

you know it, it's like...

Oh, lord?

What is it?

Nothing.

No, you just oh, lorded.

That's not nothing.

Well, it's this.

It's from Morgan and Strauss, estate planners.

Estate?

That's like when you die and you leave

stuff to people because you're dead.

Don't start.

We have no idea what this is.

Open it.

I can't do that.

I can.

It's easy.

A little nail polish remover.

It pops right open.

Reseals without a trace.

This is wrong.

It can prove you right.

Pop that baby open.

Phil, how you doing?

Pretty good, thanks.

More importantly, how are you?

Well, to tell you the truth, I can

hardly move.

But, hey, that's not your problem.

So what brings you in today?

It's nothing, really.

I shouldn't even bother you with it.

Well, it's a little late for that, Phil.

What's going on?

I'm embarrassed to even mention it.

Oh, oh, oh, yeah.

It came back.

You want some more ointment for that?

No, not that.

That cleared right up.

I'll just go.

You've got more important things on your mind.

You know, in the future, if you don't

want to see me and you don't need

to see me, save us both some time

and don't see me, you idiot.

He's in very good spirits, considering.

Got it.

Dear Dr. Becker, enclosed, please find a copy

of your revised last will and testament.

He changed us well.

Okay, I'll admit this doesn't sound good, but

the only way to know for sure is

to talk to John about it.

This goes against everything I believe in, to

intrude on something so private.

Big talk from someone who just opened a

guy's mail.

Look, Roger, I can't take this jogging anymore.

I'm sore as hell, and I've had it

with fruit and watching my temper.

You know, to hell with it.

I'll bring down my cholesterol the way God

intended, with drugs.

Look, I know you're my doctor, but this

is my life.

It's my problem, and I have the right

to deal with it the way I want.

You know, I don't feel like living if

I have to live like this.

What?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, look at that.

Oh.

Oh.

Mm-mm-mm.

Go away.

Oh.

For God's sake.

Oh, God.

Mm.

Hi.

Hi.

Remind me, did we talk about you coming

over?

No, I just thought I'd drop by.

Mm.

Can I come in?

Sure.

Yeah, I mean, why don't you here?

How are you feeling?

Fine.

Good?

Mm-hmm.

Look, this is a little awkward for me,

but, um, when my father died, there were

things I didn't say, and I don't want

that to happen again.

I don't think there's much chance of that.

He's dead.

Uh, no, no, no, I, uh...

I just want to make sure everything gets

said.

Are you okay with where this is going?

I have no idea where this is going.

Well, what I'm trying to say is that,

um, people don't talk.

We don't talk.

So, I mean, all those times that I

go into the diner and we say things

to each other, that doesn't count?

I mean, I want to talk.

Really talk.

Oh.

Okay.

Do I have to talk, too?

God, Becker, you are such a jerk.

Well...

Just listen.

When I think about you not coming into

the diner...

What is that?

Oh, that's mine.

Alarm watch.

I have it set to remind me to

take my pills.

It's stupid, really.

It is not stupid.

I mean, if you can take something to

ease your pain or prolong your life, well,

then you should take it.

Oh, no, no.

It's just for my cholesterol.

Cholesterol?

Yeah.

Where the hell is...

Oh, here we go.

Cholesterol?

Yeah, mine's a little high, so I prescribed

myself some medication.

My doctor had me jogging three times a

week.

I mean, changing my diet.

Well, that explains the fruit.

That got old real quick.

Well, I figured a few less cigarettes, a

few more salads, and this little baby right

here will be back to good shape in

no time.

Oh, who said you can't have it all?

So, I'm sorry.

Where were we?

I gotta go.

I thought you wanted to talk.

I did.

I've said all I came to say.

Been fun.

Take care.

Too many people know where I live.

I feel so stupid.

I was this close to making a total

ass out of myself.

God, I love it when you say ass.

Shut up, Bob.

I told you people no good can come

from spreading gossip.

I just don't know how these things get

started in the first place.

Yeah, well, we all fell for it, but

it was Reggie here who made the biggest

fool of herself.

Well, not so much of a fool, but...

What was that word again?

Ass.

Let her say it.

Hey, Reg, let me have a...

Oh, look at this.

It's everybody I know.

How sad is my life?

God, Becker, you're such an ass.

Okay, Bob, I see what you mean now.

Come on, Reg, let me have a cup

of coffee, will ya?

He liked it better when he was dying.

Ow!

Damn you, John Becker.

The next time nothing is wrong, the least

you can do is let people know.

She's right.

Of course I am.

Too many people know where I eat.

in Raising Arizona.