Original subtitles

Two options.

I'm going to try and find a third for you.

I know I had a third. Maybe we sold it.

I hope we sold it. That would have been nice.

That's right, sir.

In terms of men's watches, I mean, that bezel is too small to be a man's.

Yes, sir.

What in the hell?

I mean, some of the things that come in here, you'll be surprised.

How we doing, ma'am?

Sir,

I'm actually going to pawn you off to my associate here. He's the watch guy.

How we doing, ma'am?

Oh,

I'm doing great. No complaints here.

All right.

I thought it was a canoe at first.

Oh, no, it's a kayak.

So, what can you give me for it?

Straight to business, eh?

Yeah. Well, I mean. I'm kind of in a hurry, so.

In a hurry. Well, hey, you can't rush good business, that's for sure.

Let me take a look at it.

All right.

It's quite dirty.

So, it's being used. I know that much.

You look like a hippie. Do you live on this thing?

No, I don't.

So.

I mean, like I said, let me take a look at it, and then I'll give you a proper

assessment.

She's light, eh?

Yeah, pretty light.

This one of them sport models?

Yeah.

How do you even use this thing? I don't even know.

Do you stand up on it?

No, you sit in it. You sit in it, huh?

Yeah. So what were you thinking first?

I don't know.

Knock, knock.

Come on.

Play the game. Knock, knock.

Squirt.

Alright, so why are you selling it?

I just really need the money.

I don't want this old man to trip and break a hip. You know what I mean?

So you need the money.

How much were you looking to get out of it?

$500. Come on now.

Does that come with the ore too?

Yeah, of course it comes with the ore.

Speaking of which, why are you still holding?

Well, like I said, I just kind of heard that you didn't really need a lot.

So, yeah, $500.

That's tough. That's a high number.

I'm thinking lower than that. I need more information on it. When did you get

it? Where did you get it? Why are you selling it? You bought it for $6. Come

on now.

Will you go to one of those 30% over market price places?

I suppose, but I really need the money, so we have to do five.

I can't do five for it, that's for sure. But I have to do five.

Okay, well, I have to not do five, all right? I need to do, like, two.

Two's not going to work for me. I'm sorry.

I need five.

What do you need five? Why are you so persistent on five?

I'll give you $5. That's fine.

It's got to be a bit more than $5.

So, I mean, why is the five so firm?

Because I really need the money.

My van is impounded right now. It got towed. I need to get my van

out. Your van? So how the hell did you get this here?

I hitchhiked.

From where?

From East River.

What in the hell?

Well, it's spring break this time, ain't it?

Yeah. It's a beautiful time to be on the river. I got a lot of memories out

there. You know, I used to go there all the time when I was a kid.

I used to go quite a bit. My papi pretty much raised me on the river.

I have to do five.

Five is way too much. Well, I'm going to have to go to another shop then.

What, are you going to hitchhike to another shop?

John's Pawn is way on the other side of town.

Well, I need to do five.

I don't get it. Hold on. Can we work something out?

You said your car got towed? A car being towed is not $500 to get out of the

impound. There's bail, too.

There's what now?

Bail.

Bail? Bail.

Like bales of hay?

No.

Okay, hold on. So you're trying to bail somebody out. That's why you need $500.

Yeah.

Who are you trying to bail out?

What's going on here?

My boyfriend's a moron.

We were partying. He mixed some drinks, and when he mixes, it just gets bad.

We parked the car illegally, and he came out right as they were towing it. Did he

hit you?

Is that why he's in jail?

No, no. He would never do that.

He did get a little bit aggressive with the guy trying to tell her a van, and he

called the cops, and he got aggressive with the cops.

He doesn't sound like a good guy. What type of guy is this guy? Well, he's

definitely not tough enough to be in jail. I'm a little bit worried about

him. He's usually nice. It's just when he mixes, it gets bad. Well, shit, if he

ain't tough enough to be in jail, how long has he been in there?

About two hours, I think. So this is fresh. This just happened. He's still

drunk. Are you still drunk?

Oh, I don't know.

Why don't you drink?

I'm only 18. I can't drink.

You're only 18.

You've got to wait three years to drink.

So did you guys get arrested on the kayak? I'm actually very interested in

the story now. Not on the kayak, no.

Actually, when the cops showed up to deal with the towing situation, they

were nice enough to let me take it off the car.

What were you going to do with the kayak? Just paddle on down the river

until you hit the end? I don't get it.

Why'd they let you take it off the truck?

So I could pawn it for, you know.

Oh, you had enough foresight to take the kayak off your van while it's getting

towed and your boyfriend's being arrested to pawn it to bail him out?

Yeah, well, like I said, I don't drink, so, you know, a little more mental.

Well, goddamn, sounds like you're up Ship's Creek, but with a paddle.

You think ahead. I like that.

Can we, I mean, if you're not going to do five, I'm going to have to go

somewhere else.

I really don't understand where you're going to go. I mean, I don't even know

how you get, how'd you get, you hitchhike with this thing? I just, I

need to do five.

Are we going to do five or not?

Well, now I'm thinking ahead.

You said you're on, you said you're on spring break, right?

I mean, hell, I mean, where'd you guys come in from?

So why don't you just have his parents come get him out?

Because they're kind of far, you know.

Right, three more hours in jail. That would be rough, especially if he's a

softie like you said.

Yeah, but I'm really in a hurry here. All right, all right, all right, all

right. I'll level with you. I'll level with you here.

I'm thinking I could do tops.

Top so I can do 300 bucks, but even at that, you know, I'm only gonna sell it I

gotta sell it which maybe gonna make a hundred on profit and that's if it's in

good enough condition and from what I'm looking at I can't do five.

So what I mean I'd like to take a good look and check out the the integrity

All right. Well, why don't we bring this? Why don't we bring this to my

office where I got a monocle and I got a, you know, I want to go to your

office. Well, I want to check the seals. I want to make sure that all of all your

plugs are.

No, I mean, I got customers. And like I said, I got all my tools back there.

OK.

Yeah, if you help me just loaded.

Actually, you know what?

I think I can carry it. Just carry the whore. I mean, the whore.

Shit. Careful.

I got it. Don't worry.

I got it.

You can only do three because you dinged it up. It's fine.

You better be careful.

It sounds like there's water in here.

I want to take a better look at it

No, I'm not don't worry about me

Oh, yeah. There we go.

Oh, watch the computer, Matt.

Or else you'll be paying me finally.

All right.

Looks like we got the standard one-person car.

What in the hell were you and your boyfriend doing on this thing together?

We were going to go floating down the river. What is with you and that panel?

Better? I guess.

Alright, now.

Sounds like there's water in there.

Well, yeah, we just came from the river.

Like... Did you even get to go in or did you get arrested before you got in?

Oh, we went in. We went in. It's when we got back that we got towed.

Man.

Alright.

And y'all both fit in there?

Yeah.

Well, I'm pretty small, so... So what do you think?

Oh, yeah.

Look at that.

Look at that.

Let me get in the paddle.

You know what I'm saying?

How am I doing?

Am I ready for the pull circuit?

It's looking pretty good, but we've got to decide on a price for this thing

here. So is this a one-person or a two-person?

It's a two-person.

It's small for a two-person.

It really only comfortably fits one person, but I think you could sell it as

a two-person.

So you and your boyfriend ripped down a river in this thing together?

Yeah.

Come on up.

What do you mean, come on up? Come on up.

No, I think I'm going to...

Stay right here. Nah, we need to verify this whole two-person deal, because this

thing is tiny.

Nah, I'd be able to get a little bit more money out of it if it's two-person.

Fine.

Just don't, just fucking keep your hands to yourself, please.

Hey, watch your language.

Watch your fucking mouth.

Hey, there we go.

Alright. Two-person. Very nice.

I like it.

Wanna roll my panel?

Your turn.

I'm just gonna hold on.

Uh, no, I'm kinda, I'm in a hurry right now. We gotta, we need to wrap this up.

Like, are you gonna buy the kayak or, or not?

Yeah, I mean, I'd love to buy it for $300. Sounds great.

Okay, but I need $500.

That's what I've been saying this whole time.

$500, Steve.

Um...

I'm trying to think, you know, I don't know.

How long, uh, how much longer has your boyfriend got in jail?

I don't know. I don't know how long they can hold him, but he's already been in

there for like two hours. It's too long. I mean, I gotta go.

So are you buying the kayak?

Yeah, for $300, I'll take it.

No, no. We'll be back on, uh, my youth days on the river.

But I need five, so what are we gonna...

So you need two more hundred dollars, eh?

Yeah.

That's what I've been saying.

Alright, well... This is what

I'm thinking.

Be careful with it.

I'm alright. Don't worry about me.

Well, I know you are, but the kayak... Go ahead.

Take a seat right up there.

Let's work something out.

Yeah, that chair's taken right now.

There she blows.

Alright now, you need $200, right?

Yeah.

Alright, so what I'm asking is, would your boyfriend do the same for you? Of

course he would do the same for me.

What do you think? He's just like an asshole or something?

I mean, you said he's pretty aggressive and all that.

He's not tough enough to be in jail.

No, he's a sweetheart.

He's good to you?

Very good to me. Why are you asking me this?

Well, because I'm trying to figure out a way to come up with $200 more for you.

Yeah, and he deserves to get out of jail, so we need to come up with this

$500 here.

So what do you think he's doing in jail right now?

Probably being miserable.

All right, well, you got $200 to make up.

Yeah. You want to get your boyfriend?

He's been in there for two hours already.

So what do you say you just give him 30 minutes of your time and you can get out

of here with $500?

I'm not sure what you're asking.

I'm going to just give you 30 minutes. It's like a conjugal visit, you know

what I mean?

Like a conjugal visit.

Yeah, except, you know, you're going to get paid for this conjugal visit. And I

ain't in jail. Your boyfriend is, so.

No, I'm sorry. No.

That just doesn't, that doesn't work. I'm going to take my kayak and I'm going

to go.

You're going to lug it all the way back through the shop.

Back outside.

Back out to the street. Then the hitchhike back where?

You know what? You're a sick fuck. You know that?

Whoa, come on. I'm in this predicament.

fucking taking advantage of it. Oh, come on.

It's not fair.

Just give me $500 for the kayak and I'll be on my way. I can't do that. That's

bad business right there.

What, but $500 for a kayak and a blowjob is good business?

Oh, I don't want a blowjob. I want to fuck.

Oh, okay. So we're stepping it up a level then.

Um, no.

I don't really have any more bargaining chips.

I mean, like I said, you walk out of here $500.

And I'll even call you a cab to the local jail.

That way you don't need to hitchhike again.

And hell, your boyfriend will be out of jail in 30 minutes. He may not even have

to eat lunch there.

You know what I mean by eat lunch there.

Oh my God.

Why don't you suck dick so he doesn't have to?

So look, all I'm saying is why don't you get fucked so he doesn't have to?

All right? Like, I mean, think about it. It's 30 minutes. I don't know if that's

a good exchange there.

I think it's perfect. Come on.

You said he's aggressive.

You said he was drinking.

Like, now you don't need to call his parents. You get him out of jail real

quick.

I don't know. It just doesn't sound like a good deal to me.

It really doesn't. I just, you know, I'm not a prostitute.

I know that. I don't pay for sex.

what you're trying to do right now.

Oh, no, it's not. I'll take a donation of your sakes while paying a little more

higher price for this kind.

Okay.

I see what you mean. Your prosecution is illegal in this state, so... I'm just

going to have to go somewhere else. I don't know.

I mean, you're... Alright, that's fine.

But I've got to tell you, I've got a lot of computer work to do here, so I'm not

going to be able to lug it back out of my office, back to the shop, and out the

front door just for you to... So I had to carry this thing out by myself.

Yeah Oh,

of course I am come on I'm I'm gonna love this thing out of the shop

and go God knows where else on our body or Or, you know, my poor boyfriend

can sit in jail, miserable, for the next God knows how long while I try to figure

out how to come up with this money. You're not being very fair right now. I

mean, I get that. But at the same time, I don't know your boyfriend, so I don't

really care about him. I know you. You're cute.

I like to get with you, you know. I know you're not a prostitute. And like I

said, I don't really deal with prostitutes, right?

I deal with girls.

I'm going to level with you here.

I'm going to shoot it to you straight, all right?

Well, you've been shooting real straight so far. I know. I'm an honest guy.

I run a stand-up business here. You're so honest. I really am, man. I do this

quite often, all right, where young girls like yourself or just women in

general are in a certain predicament, and I tend to help them out with their

financial needs, all right? You are disgusting.

I disagree.

I think I'm a renaissance man, honestly.

Oh, oh.

I'm an innovator. So chivalrous. I agree.

No. It's a vestige of the last chivalrous gentleman.

No. I completely... You have a small girl in a predicament in your office and

you're trying to get me to fuck you for money. I'm trying to take care of you

while taking care of you.

No. Think about your boyfriend. You love him, don't you?

Yes. You don't want him to find out about this.

No, which is why I'm not going to do it.

I think it's a wise decision. It's taking care of your man.

Oh, me sucking you off is going to be nice to my boyfriend. Absolutely. You're

getting him out of jail so he doesn't have to suck some guy off.

Okay, you're ridiculous right now.

Come on. You love your boyfriend, right?

Very much.

So come on.

Think about him.

I love my boyfriend and therefore I am not going to fuck you.

Okay?

First, I'm not... Oh, here.

Here's my last... Oh my God. Here's my last option. Can we just... This is my

last bitch effort.

Can you put that away, please?

Just a second.

I don't even know what's going through your head right now.

I'm just trying to throw out a, you know...

I'm going fishing right now.

Okay, you know what?

If I do this, you are not going to tell anybody.

Oh, who the hell am I going to tell?

I mean, Jamal will know, but Jamal knows what I'm doing.

You're going to do $550 and you're going to call me a cat. Whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa.

I'm going to do $500 and call you a cat.

Fine.

Happy? Well, not yet I'm not happy.

This is a really horrible situation.

Oh, it's not that bad, ma'am.

Not that bad. I didn't get your name, by the way. What's your name?

Oh, my God.

My name is Dolly, and I have your name. Nice to meet you.

Hey, you just touched my penis.

No, I did not.

Yeah, you did.

No, you touched my hair. All right, are we going to do this or what?

I mean, I know you're in a rush, but shit, I'm trying to run a business here,

too.

There you go.

I'll be your boyfriend for the next 30 minutes.

You'll be alright.

You're in good hands.

Let me take my shoes off.

By the way, one more thing.

Part of the deal. No big deal. Just keep going.

What the fuck?

What's that?

You said that no one was going to know.

And the fuck is that?

It's my little camcorder.

And how do I know you're not going to give that to somebody?

Well, who the hell am I going to give it to?

I don't know. You're friends? You're a fucking pervert.

What friends am I going to give you? I don't have any friends.

I work too much to have friends.

That's the only thing you said today that I believed that you did that. Hey,

don't be mean. Come on.

If I find this tape anywhere, you are going to get it.

Again? Sweet.

No.

Look into my camera while you sit in my bed.

What's your boyfriend's name?

Jesse.

Jesse.

You can call me Jesse for the next 30 minutes if that makes you feel better.

I want you to suck that dick like it's going to pay you 200 bucks.

Better, because otherwise... Otherwise what?

Oh, yeah, there you go.

Yeah, look at me when you suck my dick.

Suck it with no hands.

That's pretty good.

You're gross, you don't know that?

I'm gross!

And why you sucking my dick?

You could have said no.

Oh, I had so many options.

You definitely did.

What's the problem there?

I'm just choking on it. Choking on it?

Jesse ain't got a dick like that?

I need to talk to you about my boyfriend's cock size.

Alright.

Suit yourself.

Oh shit.

Was I riding a horse?

Oh yes.

There you go.

Lick the bean bags.

Struck it while you licked those balls.

I bet you were just going to survive on the nuts out there anyway.

do that do that again that's when the balls always at the top oh

look at me while you do that though

You having a good spring break?

There you go, you put your oar to good use there Gilligan.

Do what they do on spring break.

Who

you

talking about?

You.

Real nice little titties there.

Let me see them blue eyes.

Let

me

see you play with them titties.

Earn that money girl

Hey, turn around when you do that.

Oh.

Oh shit.

Oh yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Shit.

Oh,

yeah.

Come on,

man.

Oh fuck.

East River Adam.

Bye.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah

Let me write me down here.

Yeah.

There you go Get your man out of jail

Oh shit.

Fuck yeah. You want me to come in your mouth?

Yeah. Come all over your face.

Oh, shit, yeah.

Here, get it in me. Oh, yeah.

Oh, shit.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, god damn.

There goes a nice stream for you to paddle down.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, shit.

Dang.

You must take real good care of her, Jessie.

Mm-hmm.

All right. Back to business.

So now I ain't got any cash to give you.

But here's what I'm going to do.

All right.

You don't mind getting dressed.

Well, what's your boyfriend's last name?

Jesse.

All right. I know the bondsman down there.

I worked with him a few times, gave him a few loans, and hell, they bailed me

out a couple times. So I'm going to go ahead and call down to county, get the

bail bondsman to release your boyfriend.

Hopefully he'll be out in a couple hours.

Sound good?

Yeah, as long as you follow through with it. Oh, don't worry. I'm going to do it.

You better.

I know Steve down there. He runs the bonds down there.

In terms of a cab, I guess

I'll go ahead and call you one.

No, it's part of the deal.

It is part of the deal, so I'll do it.

person all that oh you're heading to

and county meet uh

right that's the yellow cab right

here use that wipe off your face

You can have a seat if you want.

Thanks, so gentlemanly. No problem.

Hey, how's it going there?

Yeah, I need a cab for a pickup.

A young, red-haired lady?

Yeah, yeah.