All language subtitles for Susana And Elvira No Plan B 2026

I don't want to die!

Elvira!

I don't want to die up here!

No, no, no, no, no!

I have too much to live for! Do you
hear me?

Susi, Susi, remember when I taught you
to ski? I stayed with you the whole

time so that you wouldn't go flying off
a cliff?

I was right behind you, remember? This is
the same thing!

I don't want to jump!

Look at me! You're gonna be just fine!
You are a badass!

- No!
- Hágale, hágale.

Elvira!

SUSANA AND ELVIRA
NO PLAN B

THINGS TO DO BEFORE 40
TRIP TO INDIA WITH SUSANA

CHECKLIST
SKYDIVING, SABBATICAL TRIP WITH MY AMIGA

My goodness, why do you always have to
flirt with all of them?

- Why?
- You're gonna scare him off.

For someone who meditates a lot, you seem

- stressed out. You should use my toy
- Mm… No, these work wonders.

Rodolfo.

Where is she?

Hey!

I cannot believe you, Elvira. You hooked
up again?

Sshh!

Not yet.

TWO YEARS LATER

UNDER THE TABLE

Next.

Next?

The classic.

Well, how about we try on something else?
An all-time classic.

It's a completely different style but so
beautiful.

Now this one is divine.

Yes.

- What?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

- no. Wait.
- Um.

Right. Okay.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey. Okay.

Alaska, honey. Maybe if… you tried
them on instead of your wedding

planner, then it could help make
everything

more pleasant.

No, no, no, I want just one dress. One.

One that makes me jealous of you.

Then I'll know that's the one.

Yeah, okay. Sure, I'm totally on
board with your method.

Obviously, but the two of you are pretty
different.

The two of you don't have the same hair
tone, and Alaska, you're way skinnier…

And don't even get me started with the
huge age gap.

Geez, you're choking in that dress,
Susana!

It's like putting Princess Diana's dress

on Queen Camila.

No?

Yes, exactly.

Yes! Perhaps we might need a break from
trying on dresses and maybe we should

start over, from bottom to top.
We'll make you fall in love with a pair

of shoes, and we'll go from there.

Okay. Bottom to top?

How does that sound?

- Brilliant, yes!
- Okay, let's do it.

So… I'll just…

Uh, let me help you take off your boots.

At last, I get to discover your
little money makers.

- Hm…
- You're in for a surprise!

Oh, divine!

Thanks.

Four?

One, two, three, four. They're
incredible.

I love it.

With these bad boys, you can bill
petrodollars!

I'm raking it in, it's crazy.

I can imagine.

There's an excessive demand for missing
piggies.

- Obviously.
- Val, but hey.

- Not a word, right? 'Cause my boyfriend
- Of course not.

Would kill me if he were to ever find
out about my fake cake business.

It's important that whoever's going to
watch over her is somewhat aligned with

me because…

she's had a tough time getting used to
the way we live around here. She's

originally from India.

Are you leaving the country for good?

Yes because… I'm a manager. Yeah. For
Macarena.

RODOLFO AND MACARENA?

Can you tell me what you were doing
with Rodolfo?

Who? Me?

Oh. I ran into Rodolfo the other day
and he invited me out for a coffee.

- What was I supposed to say to him?
- Mm-hm.

Ma'am. Please. We're too heavy.

- Can you get off? We exceeded the weight
- Can you please get off?

- Limit.
- Oh. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry everyone.

Thank you.

Come.

Alright! Fine, I'll tell you the truth.
Yes, I am talking to Rodolfo and

yes, I am thinking about it.

Seriously, Macarena?

What happened to Mexico?

I'm all set to move there!

I got rid of half my stuff and the
other half is already in boxes. I'm

all packed to go.

Macarena! I… I even found an-an
adoptive father for Conchi.

Are you getting rid of me, Maca?

- Thank you, Ma'am.
- I need to think about my future, Elvi.

My career's over?

No, it's not! She won't get rid of
me that easily.

Alaska, honey.

I can't seem to find your deposit for
the beach club yet and if we don't pay

today they'll cancel our reservation.

That's actually what I wanted to
talk to you about because, um…

I'm looking for a place that's rather top
notch,

like the venue they wrote about in Condé
Nast. It belongs to Gustavo Heredia. Do

- you know it?
- Naio?

Yes!

Honey, every person I know wants to
get married there. It's impossible.

- Impossible.
- Huh…

Well, actually, I heard of a wedding
planner who is able to book the place.

I guess they have better connections.

Really? Oh yeah they surely booked it
years ago and blocked most dates.

Mm-hm.

Just like ticket sellers, because love
has turned into a business.

There's even a mafia. So maybe
we shouldn't dwell on that place

and focus on the beach club instead,
alright? Let's book it.

I don't know if I want to get married
anymore!

What?

No, no, no. Wait a minute sweetie because
it's too late now, everything is already

final. And it's-it's… mostly paid
for and we can't just cancel. No, no,

wait a minute, sweetie. Wait a
minute now, we already paid for--

I don't want to keep trying things on
anymore soI'd better go.

Please, excuse me!

We already planned half the wedding!

Hey! Come here.

Leave it. Let her go, it'll pass.

This isn't her first panic attack
and surely won't be her last one either.

Anyway they're doomed.

That girl and her snobby fiance…

two years. Max!

Seriously, when I first started this
company, never in a million years

would I have thought it would be
this hard.

You try to fulfill your deams as
best you can and then what happens?

You end up regretting it or paying the
damn price later. You… pay and pay

millions in taxes and all for what? To be

- threatened with repossession. For real,
- Okay, Susi, calm down. Calm down. Okay?

Val, I'm going crazy! I'm desperate.

Half an hour?

INTERNATIONAL MEDICAL AID

How much time do we have?

'Til the second round?

No. Until you have to leave again?

Not much.

- Oh.
- I'm about to fly out to Ukraine.

Ukraine?

- Seriously.
- Huh?

Mm-hm.

But didn't you say you weren't
going there anymore?

Yes. Yes, I did. I know. I know but…

things have changed. I'm the only one
left with pediatric trauma experience.

And the others?

You mean… the other?

No, nothing happened to him, just
that he got tired of living like this.

So then… when will you be able to go to
the clinic?

What clinic, babe?

The embryo clinic, Manu.

When I get back, I promise. When I
get back, I'll stop by.

Hm.

FINISH THE FERTILITY PROCESS
ELVIRA

Skydiving. Check.

Quit a job we don't like. That's done
and over with. Check.

That's a check. Sabbatical trip with
my best friend. Check.

Check. Sleep with the same guy. Check.

The one with the gray thong, remember?
I told you about him, right?

Hm…

Why is it so hard to say I'm sorry?

LET'S STOP BEING STUPID, OK?

I MISS YOU

LET'S FORGIVE EACH OTHER, OKAY?

Do you want to know something, Elvira?

All of this…

it mattered much more to me than
you think. But since we never

got a chance to talk about it…

You know what? Keep partying with
whoever you want. However you want.

Fine.

Yes. It was awful.

I invite you all to move to the rhythm of
Chano.

CHANO
SOLD OUT

To be honest, I don't usually like
talking about myself…

RODOLFO DEL SOLAR DE LOS MONTEROS
DE ARAGÓN Y VALLECILLAS, MANAGER

it was me.

The best decision I've ever made
was to ask Maca to become my future wife.

What? Doesn't that sound overambitious?

Okay I have an idea…

but it's probably the worst idea
I've ever had, Conchi. And you know how

long that list is.

That's one of the biggest pieces of
nonsense I've heard in my life.

And I swear I've heard lots of nonsense.

It's not nonsense because in any case,
they're gonna get married.

What do people like?

Pornography.

- Weapons.
- Love.

Gossiping. No one wants the real love
story.

They want the version of love we
sell them, okay?

And after all the drama the two of
you've been through,

let's show the world you made it work.

And if your happy ending comes with a
syrupy,

over-the-top love song worthy of a
Mexican telenovela,

then bam! That's pure gold for
reality TV.

- Docuseries.
- Docuseries.

- Docuseries.
- What do you think about this?

- Hm…
- Yes!

Obviously my idea is brilliant!
You take a wedding and a concert and

you unite the two together!

- Yes! Yes!
- Who's in charge of the wedding?

Maybe we can hire um one of those
companies? The ones that plan weddings

every day.

How much time do you need?

Three months, and we'll be right in time
for Mexico.

You have two weeks. The final episode is
gonna be live.

The Columbian Tax Authorities are
prepared

to initiate collection proceedings
against the PLUS ONE corporation.

Please--

What? What happened?

Lunatic.

So you have nothing available for
the next two weeks? Nothing at all?

WEDDING PLANNER COMPANIES

April?

That's in dollars? You've got to be
kidding? That's the price in dollars?

Plus One, this is Valentin Mercado,
C-O-W-O, Chief of Wedding Operations.

In two weeks?

Yes, of course, like some kind of
celebrity wedding?

Really? A famous person, without any
security guards, in a place like this?

And just a two weeks notice? Hah! Hello.

Hello.

And she didn't ask for a discount?
Hell, no! It sounds fishy. This is

some kind of set up. The tax guys are
probably in there, waiting.

It's not the tax guys.

It's a really small company, but that's a
good thing! They'll be at our beck

and call and a lot more attentive
to our needs.

I spoke to the manager myself and
I mentioned it was a matter of

time versus money.

Oh my God.

Anyway, tell me how things went with
your doctor

and why he won't donate his floating
babies to you?

Watch it, Valentin Eduardo Mercado.
I'm still sad about it.

Don't worry, things'll get better.

You need time to process the whole thing
but everything's gonna be okay, I swear.

And don't worry, I'm here for you if
you need anything at all. Just ask.

Babe, come. You'll be okay.

Do you love the guy? Okay then.

It's okay, I'm fine, don't worry.
Everything's fine.

You're welcome.

Elvira?

Susana.

Uh…

Nice to meet you. I'm Valentin Mercado.
How are you? Hi.

Are you the intern?

Obviously, my love. I had a
great time too. Yes, of course.

I'll call you later. You hang up first.
No, you. No, you do it first. Fine, I'll

hang up.

Chano, how are you? How's it going?
What's happening? What's wrong?

Hey. Great, yeah, I'm good but
um, why are we here? This place is a

shithole.

You wanna leave? Don't worry, I'll take

Maca, hey princess, looking beautiful.

Care of this. Very nice jacket though.

As beautiful as you.

Are these two the wedding planners?

Let me handle it.

Hey there. I'm Chano's manager,

Rodolfo del Solar de los Monteros
de Aragon y Vallecillas.

Pleased to meet you…

I'm Susana. From Plus One.

- Hi, I'm Valentin. Mercado. Or just
- Valentin. Valentin, do you have a

- Valentin.
- notebook to take notes?

- Uh, yes. I do have one, yes.
- Okay, then listen up. From now on,

everything runs through me.
They just reunited.

- Who?
- Those two. They're exes.

Ex best friends?

What's up, Susi?

Are you mad?

No, I'm not mad but I'm really
frustrated.

We spent months planning this trip and I
was hoping there would be more to it.

But no.

Here we are looking like a couple of
old ladies crashing spring break,

for fuck's sake.

Oh, I get it.

All because I didn't go with you
this morning. I promise I'll go with you

tomorrow and we'll do as many meditation
sessions as you want.

No because tomorrow there's the Ayurvedic
nutrition class, remember, Elvira?

- Ayurvedic?
- Yes.

Oh, no, Susana, why though? Seriously,
you promised me it would be like the

trip in the movie with Julia Roberts
except that we left out the "EAT"

and the "LOVE" and we jumped straight to
"PRAY" but it's boring as hell.

It took me months to book those
activities.

So we're going!

Since when did you become so uptight?

Ever since you went back to living your
teenage years.

Look, why don't you relax a bit and stop
trying to check off your never

ending list, one after the other,
after the other, after the other…

and then, maybe you'll be able to
enjoy life even more, don't you think?

Yes, okay, I like to plan things.

In fact, I have a plan for my life.

Can you remind me again what
your plan is?

Do you honestly think you can keep on
living like this?

Living like what?

Like this, drifting through life
as if you were still a silly 22 year old!

You're almost 40 and have no fucking idea
where you're heading!

Go ahead.

- No, after you.
- No, after you.

You first.

You went from writing about celebrity
weddings to planning them.

- Mm…
- What happened to your dream of becoming

a renown journalist?

Dreams sometimes change.

What matters is having one and knowing
where you're headed.

So, tell me, Julia Roberts, you've
become a manager?

- She's all they talk about right now.
- Mm.

But Chano is the real star, right?

Either way, managing other people's
careers when you can't even manage your

own life is… a bold choice.

How's your little business working out?

Great, I mean, you called us, right?

- I had no idea it was your company.
- Ah.

You got married?

You got married.

I got engaged.

And?

Who did you catch? Ah! Let me guess! That
fugly guy, the silly ass!

The one with Mickey Mouse sheets?

He's a doctor.

Yeah. Without Borders. He works
in conflict zones.

And you? How do you occupy your
free time? Still adding questionable

ideas to your checklist?

Yes. I am. Do you want to know the
latest one? To never ever turn into a

bitter 40 year-old.

Oh yeah? Well, maybe you should add
'Stop living life as if I were some

teenager still in school. Or become
an adult by age 40, how does that sound?

How could you bring us here? Absolutely
not. This place won't do. Just look

at the landscape. A total lack of
creativity. This place is a fucking dump!

Or "don't become an uptight and
rigid jerk over the years" What's

the matter?

How can I put it? We're talking about
Chano here. He's the Michael Jackson of

urban music. How could anyone consider
bringing us to this dump and expect us

- to be okay with it!
- I don't know, he just doesn't like it.

Uh, but I think Valentin forgot to
mention that we were only

For an intimate gathering of

considering this place for our cocktails.
Uh, the real ceremony would be here and

both families and close friends.

Then we'd go elsewhere to party.

My love, uh, Susana, is it? Listen, I
don't now what your friend or ex-friend

- told you…
- Elvira.

Elvira. But you should know that this
wedding-concert will be anything but

intimate.

Wedding concert?

Exactly, A wedding concert. Wedding
concert. It's as easy as it sounds.

So listen up and listen carefully
because I'll only say this once.

- No.
- I told you that.

This is an important event, honey.

There'll be many guests and a lot
of money involved, 'kay?

It's gonna cost thousands and thousands,
I mean, a lot of money.

And there'll be sponsors and advertising
and famous people and everything.

We're going to be spending lots of money,
Susana.

This can't be some hillbilly wedding with
haystacks, checkered tablecloths

and cowboy hats. Am I making myself
clear or not?

- Of course not.
- No.

Yes, very clear. That's why Plus One
always makes sure to know who we're

working with first and-and, yeah, now
it's obvious these two pop stars

will need a venue that lives up to
their status.

And according to Condé Nast, the best
place for that, like top notch

high society level, it's Naio.

Naio?

- Chano is that… Oh my!
- Oh my!

Yeah.

Wait a minute, wait! You know the guy who
owns Naio?

Yeah. A good friend…

- A good friend? No, you mean a very close
- No, no.

Friend.

Very, very close friend!

Listen up, everyone. At this very moment,
even our dear president's son is on the

waiting list.

Ah!

Man this is great, Chano! Are you
serious?

Yeah!
Yeah, yeah. It's really top-notch, yup!

Top notch high society!

Okay but will they let us film there?
Because the last episode of the

docuseries must be live. Can we film?

Yeah!

Yes or no?

My goodness, she said yes already!
Listen, Dolfo.

Yeah. Dolfo.

What?

Dolfo. Listen, if Susana says she knows
the guy, then she probably does,

let's trust her, right?

She won't let us down. Don't worry.

Right, I always stick to the plan,
it's crucial and important to me.

Let's begin planning Valentin, huh?

- Let's see… we'll need to add some
- Well, it's all settled then! I told you

- things to the checklist.
- everything would work out after all!

Okay. Of course.

This is amazing. And speaking of amazing,
did I ever tell you about the time,

back in 2001, when I was part of a band
and I use to party with Ely Guerra.

It was crazy! You wouldn't believe the
shit we did!

Oh boy.

We made it, sir.

Susana! You better not be lying.

You two are a fucking disgrace! You're
always always late.

We're sorry, boss, but… we were stuck in
traffic.

Set.

Sound check.

- Where do I sign?
- Right there, Susana.

Ah! Okay.

Tell me you're not doing this to get back
at your ex-friend for what she

did to you in India
because it's not that big a deal.

No, it's not for that. It's because
we really need this job, Val.

Elvi, are you sure they're going to be
able to handle this?

What should we do first?

Find the owner of that hotel and we
charm him to death.

How?

Listen, I need you to focus on creating a
beautiful song that everyone will love

and when you'll get up on that
stage, they'll all see what I see. Maca.

They won't just see you as Chanos's
girlfriend anymore.

And that… That'll be our ticket
to Mexico.

- Yes! Yes, yes, yes!
- Yes!

Exactly! Show me the money!

No! I love you!

I lo - I love you! I love you.

Yes! Oh. This is great! Now, uh, can the
both of you give me some context?

What were you talking about?

Okay. Okay. Come with me.

Really? Awesome! Okay, I'll interview you
over here, alright?

Susana, this really needs to go well.
No drama.

You have no idea what's at stake here.

I really need this to go well
too so let's stay professional, okay?

Look! Over there! Film!

Do we have to put trackers around your
stupid necks or what? Move it, go film

Maca instead!

Alright how do we organize this
so we don't step on each other's toes?

Well… since you're friends with the owner,

you can book the venue so I can start
setting up the…

the… the stage for the concert.

I'll be in charge of the important
stuff, like the budget, the sponsors

and making sure everyone keeps their
ego down on low.

Ah.

Yes, it's important to make sure
it's as low as possible.

Exactly.

Is that what you think of me?

You are stuck in some sort of loop.

You're petrified of aging.

I can't take it. I can't keep on
babysitting you because you don't

want to be an adult.

You're doing it to me again.

Do what?

Making me feel bad about myself,
as usual.

Constantly judging me, making me
second guess every single life choice

I've made.

What's up with your superiority complex, seriously?

It doesn't suit you and it's super
annoying, stop it already.

At this rate, you'll end up…

stuck this way.

- Oh yeah?
- Yes.

What way is that?

Alone. And uptight.

Why do you think I'm the only person
who puts up with you?

Oh yeah…
because you're such a great catch?

A real prize, right?

Do you really think all those
tourists flirt with you because they're

interested in you?

No, Elvira.

All they see is some silly party girl
who makes them laugh but once

the party's over,

they're off looking for something
deeper and more serious than you.

May the force be with you.

May the dark side not swallow you.

Yeah.

Valentin!

How cute! I love it.

Elvi!

Looking good, Chano.

I need to tell you something, Elvi. I…

I've been thinking and I…

I've decided to tell Maca everything
before the wedding.

- What?
- Yes.

- I feel awful and it's been messing with
- No, no, no. No, Chano!

My head. I need-I need to. Maca
deserves to know the truth. I'm gonna

tell her.

No. We agreed it would be our little
secret and that we'd bring it to

our graves. Our graves, nowhere else!

Okay? Please!

Can I count on you?

Yes?

Just what I needed!

Hello.

Hello. Welcome.

Thank you very much.

Um… I'm here because I'm looking for
Gustavo Heredia.

Well, the thing is that Mr. Gustavo is
somewhat ethereal. He never tells us

where he is.

Okay but despite him being ethereal,
you can maybe call him.

You see…

I'm thinking about renting the
whole hotel to plan the event of a

lifetime.

I understand but Mr. Gustavo doesn't have
a phone. He shows up when he shows up.

Yes, come.

Um… Listen, do you know where the
owner of this hotel is? That

Gustavo guy, where is he?

Gustavo is ethereal.

He shows up when he shows up.

Right but my job depends on this, okay?

Please help me.

You're gonna be okay.

Okay breathe. Breathe.

There you go.

Because of you I almost died! And was it
even worth it? Hell no!

Why can't you just use a damn phone like
a normal human being?

Why did you want to talk to me?

Nice to meet you.

- Susana.
- Gustavo.

Wedding planner in charge of the wedding
of the year.

Boy, you do realize there are other ways
to talk to me other than almost drowning

trying to surf.

- Right?
- Yeah, sure but since you're "ethereal"

Excuse me?

Alright, I'll explain it to you with a
metaphor that transcendental hippy guys

like you love using.

Okay.

My life is hanging by a thread.

And my only lifeline is this big wedding.

I'm not sure that transcendental…

is the right word. And I have
news for you.

My surfboard is gone 'cause of you, so…

you owe me.

Wait a moment.

I'd say you owe me my life.

Uh-huh.

So wouldn't it be fair to spare me
five short minutes to talk?

Alright.

This big wedding for Maca and Chano might
be the…

the best publicity you could
possibly ever get. That, I guarantee you.

First of all, thank you.

But ever since all those reviews
came out, we've been completely booked.

Now, as to, uh…

what are their names again?

Maca and Chano.

I think we…

we could perhaps find a little spot for
them.

Thanks! Yes! Cheers to you!

- Cheers!
- Let's see how this tea tastes.

- Mmm.
- Mmm. Delicious.

Alright then, huh, let's get started.

Let's start planning this big, amazing
wedding.

- Right now?
- Yeah. Why not?

Don't you think we're going…

a bit fast?

Well, a bit fast is an understatement
because we only have until the 23rd.

The 23rd, like in…

Yeah in… in like two weeks.

Okay.
The 23rd in two weeks is already booked.

Mm…

And so are the 23rds of the next
two years.

I'm sorry. That being said,

I get that you're in a hurry, right? So
what I can do is recommend a

- friend's hotel.
- No, no, no. It has to be here.

No, just because you want it to be here
doesn't mean it's gonna be here.

Ah, Gustavo, come on.

Listen up.

All I need from you is well…
nothing much, really!

Just give me the names of the people
getting married on that date

and your job is done, I can handle the
rest.

I'm sure I can work something out
that'll make everyone happy.

This is really important. Please.

I can't because it's confidential.

I'm sorry, but no can do.

Now, let's say we go ahead and put
business aside for a sec.

Tell me why is it, among all the places
in the world, it has to be here?

Well… because…

sometimes there are places built
with love, like this hotel.

And they have a way of fixing what's
broken.

I don't know if you believe in love or
not…

but I do. And there's no way I'm
about to give up right now. Not yet.

Of course, I also believe in love.

Answer it. Go ahead.

I'm sorry.

- Hello?
- Hello, Susi? Susi, you there?

Uh, Susi I need to tell you something
important.

Uh, what

H- hello? Hello?

Hello?

Uh…

Everything okay?

Yeah.

Don't think of it as a simple
sponsorship. Think of it as…

a partnership. Imagine being at the heart
of the every-day life--

at the heart of the everyday life of
the hottest couple?

Obviously it's aspirational as hell,
perfect for your brand, right?

Let me discuss it with my partner but
sounds good

You're in?

Seriously?

Yes! Of course! I'll send you the
contract right away.

Great, thank you!

It's gonna be huge!

Do you need help with anything back
there?

I did it! I did it! The condom
people are in.

Okay.

They're gonna sponsor it.

Nah, it's wonderful.

Holy!

- Hey!
- Paradise! Woo-hoo!

- I'm in heaven.
- How was the flight?

Oh, it felt as if I were in Mad Men!
I flew Premium Economy, they fed me like

in the good old days. And yes, I sent you
hundreds of emails because the plane had

Wi-Fi believe it or not. Oh goodness.
The heat is messing up your hair.

Luckily I have anti-frizz. Let me
put some on. Okay.

Hm. Nice.

- Hey! Stay still a minute!
- Hey!

Alright, this other place it has
mountains.

Unlike here. And there are three
pools instead of just one.

One even has a sort of waterfall.

Okay I booked it. Yeah, I think we might
have to tweak the wedding-concert

idea a tad.

Just a little.

Okay you're saying we might move
the whole wedding to a place

awfully tacky

and we'll just spin it like it was some
genius move rather than a mistake,

right? That's the plan?

Holy fuck, I'm in deep shit, damn it!
Geez, no we can't change the venue now,

of course, not! Damn cursed contract!
We're completely fucked and there's no

- way to get out!
- Yeah.

Shh. I think you need some of my
little drops. Litlle drops, okay? There.

- Your turn.
- Hey!

Ah! Manu!

Susi, Susi, Susi!

Manu, hi! How are you?

Listen to me, listen to me before the
line drops or someone needs my help.

I need you to know that right now I'm in
pure survival mode. And I can't

ask you to live with the uncertainty of
whether I'll come back or not.

Huh? What are you talking about?
Of course you're coming back, my love.

You'll come back safely, I'm sure of it.

I said you'll come back safely. You'll
come back safely!

Doctor, you're needed right away. We have
some incoming.

Zara, Zara, Zara, Zara! They need me out
there. I'm sorry, I have to go.

Two minutes, okay?

I love you, Susi, but this whole sperm
thing, I can't…

become a dad with all this going on.
I just can't. No.

Manu! No, listen! Listen! Listen! I know!
I know it can be scary and it won't

be easy because the whole situation
isn't easy but we've talked about

this, once everything calms down…

Susi, Susi, can you hear me?

Manu, are you there? I think you froze!

I'm not able to promise you the life
you're asking for.

And I don't want to drag you into this
chaos.

My chaos! I'm coming!

I'm coming! I'm coming! I'm coming!
I'm coming!

I promise. I'm sorry, it's…

I'm sorry. So sorry.

Susana! Susana! Susana!

Susi!

Susana!

Susana!

Hey! What happened?

What happened? Are we screwed to
the point of killing ourselves?

Ugh!

What is it?

I think Manu just broke up with me.

Oh, God.

I'm so sorry but listen, Susana, sweetie.

You're gonna have to try to put that
aside at least for now

because we have an issue called wedding
concert and Elvira is out of control!

Nonsense! Stop it already, Susana!

Enough with the boyfriends, prince
charmings and McDreamies!

Okay!? That's all bullshit!

Get up!

Those romcoms really fucked your
love life up!

We need to compartmentalize, okay?

Come on. First I'll fix your hair
and then we'll go welcome everybody,

alright?

So?

Maca, there's nothing left of the
original song. Nothing!

I'm trying to find someone who
can tell us where we can do the sound

check but there's no one around.
What's the problem?

- The song is.
- What's wrong? What? You don't like it?

That's not her song.

Yes, it is but only now it's a little
more… It's a little more… catchy.

Listen, I really liked your version,
you did a great job, it was beautifully

written. Really. But the thing is that I
found it to be too… too indie.

Exactly.

And melancholic. Yes, alright, but songs
like that are usually… Meh.

Yes.

- We needed something a little more
- Alright, Maca, do you really want

- commercial sounding.
- to release that version?

Seriously? Huh?

- Welcome everyone.
- You're soaked. What the hell happened

to them?

Welcome to Naio.
Shall I show you to your rooms?

- I'll be right there.
- Sure.

So, how do you like this place? We
hope they booked the penthouse for you…

Chano!

What happened now? Why do you look
like that?

Susana!

Why are you completely soaked? Come here!

Come here!

Why haven't you been answering my
messages?

Why are you wrinkling your nose, huh?

Just like when you were dating that
disgusting

bartender but you swore to me that
you weren't.

Tell me the truth, is everything okay?

Okay, I'll admit it…

there's a problem with the party venue.

- Sorry?
- It still isn't booked… for now.

Don't worry though, I obviously have
a plan B.

So I brought all these people
here to film the whole thing…

and you haven't even secured the venue,
Susana?

Don't you worry, Elvi!

It's nothing, just a minor issue that I'm
currently solving.

Did you even read the clause at the
bottom of the contract?

Because that clause is anything
but minor.

Why do you have to talk to me as if I'm
your enemy, huh?

This event is really important to me.

It's not some silly trip like the one we
went on years ago.

So you better sort everything out
by the end of the karaoke party tonight.

So you better sort everything out before…

Buckle up everyone and let's give a big
round of applause for Chano and Maca!

Maca! Chano! Maca! Chano! Maca!

Susana!

What are you doing?

Alright, stop, stop. Come here. Are you
okay?

Don't get drunk, you still have
to convince that guy to let us book the

hotel.

They're amazing!

Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!
Kiss her!

Look at me! I brought you here because I
wanted you to meet them! They cannot

get married in any other place but here,
I'm telling you!

Yeah?

- Okay?
- Okay.

Let's make a deal. You let me continue to
organize everything

and I swear your beloved Naio will turn
into a symbol of love and of commitment

but the kind that lasts a lifetime.

The kind that's unconditional and reminds
people that it is worth betting on

someone forever.

Because that person deserves to be loved.

Because promises shouldn't be broken but
respected, no?

Do you want a drink?

Just one drink.

May I ask you a question? Are you okay?

Here.

- Awesome.
- Yeah, I'm doing great.

Oh no! Excuse me.

We'll find it, relax.

- Shit! Sorry.
- Excuse me.

Excuse me.

I'm… I'm sorry.

Excuse me!

Ah!

Hey! Has that minor issue been
resolved yet?

Tell me! Tell me the truth! Have you
ever planned a fucking wedding in

your life?

Yes, Elvira! Come on! Who do you
think you're talking to?

I don't even know anymore! Last time
I saw you, you walked away and I

never knew why.

Don't fuck with me, Elvira. If you
wanna fight, pick on someone your

own size.

Admit it, you're just improvising
right now and you're gonna make me look

- like a damn fool!
- What the hell!

Not everything is about you, Elvira!
You haven't changed! Everything

always has to revolve around you,
you, you! But that's not how it works!

Oh I'm sorry, I forgot you're
miss know-it-all and I'm the dumb idiot

who follows you around!

A dumb idiot who only thinks
about herself and doesn't give a shit

about stepping all over other people's
feelings! That's you, Yes!

Yeah and, you, you're a bitter old lady
who makes checklists of things

she'll never ever accomplish!

Ooh!

Let go of me! Let go of me!

Just let her go, okay?

Don't push me around, not here
and not now!

Excuse me, sorry, coming through.

This is anything but glamorous. Hm?

If you're in the mood for a sassy fight,

do it on your own free time and somewhere
else! Compartmentalize!

- Compartalentamize?
- Compartmentalize.

Susana…

- Go ahead.
- Thanks.

How about you tell us what just
happened on camera?

- What was it like? What did you feel?
- Yeah!

Oh, for fuck's sake.

One rhum.

Are you okay?

Yeah, Yeah, I'm fucking great. No venue
for the big wedding,

no boyfriend because the man's a…

And my ex-best friend hates me and
wants to kick my ass.

I don't know if I told you this but I
used to be part of a band that was super

successful.

And at our peak, when… when we were at
the top of our game,

we couldn't even be in the same room
without wanting to kill each other. You

get it?

All because… because of what? Because our
ego got the best of us.

And because Bruce, he began snorting
coke all the time, it was fucking crazy,

he was out of control.

We couldn't stop him. If it wasn't coke,
it was weed, or something else.

Anyway he ended up sleeping with
Brian's wife and then I don't know how,

but we all ended up in a fantastic orgy,

Why am I telling you this already?

Although I don't know what happened
with your friend, it's most likely

you were both right, no?

No more.

- Make some noise for open mic night!
- Woo!

- Let's get this party started!
- Woo!

Can you guess what I'm thinking about?

No?

That you should sing. I know you want to.
I can tell!

Elvi!

- There you are.
- Elvi, I… really need you.

- For God's sake.
- Mm-hm.

Is everything okay?

You guys sang beautifully.

Thanks. I was hoping we could talk
and maybe go over the schedule together?

Tomorrow, we'll talk all you want.

Okay.

But for now, just relax because
everything's coming along just fine.

And you sang wonderfully. We'll talk
tomorrow, alright? Because right now

it's hard to hear anything in here it's
so loud and people are going to sing…

You sure? Elvi…

- Okay, sure.
- No.

Amiga, tengo el corazón herido,

El hombre que yo quiero

The man I love

se me va.

Lo estoy perdiendo.

Estoy sufriendo.

I'm suffering

Llorando de impotencia.

No puedo retenerlo.

I can't hold onto him

You need to film that crazy woman and
try to make it as ridiculous as

possible, okay?

Sure.

…Por amor… ¿Cómo puedo hacer?

What can I do?

Entrega todo.

Give it your all

Todo se lo di. Todo se lo di.

Intenta un modo.

No es posible que se pueda querer más.
No es posible que se pueda querer más.

Pensando así lo perderás.

¿Y si él se va?

And if he leaves?

Lo habrás perdido.

¿Qué me quedará?

Your advice doesn't take away my pain

- Son cosas del amor.
- Son cosas del amor.

That's just how love goes…

Amazing! A big round of applause,
everyone!

It's on the house.

Oh! One too many, I guess!

What happened to her?

We're in the middle of a crisis
because of McDreamy…

Thank you, Santa Marta!

Manu!

I gave you my best years! The most
fertile ones!

Open the door.

Hey! Hey! Let go of me! No! Hey!

I want to see her.

Hey! Hey! Susi, I'm here for you!

Yeah, well, so am I!

Don't! Nobody knows how to grab her
hair better than I do.

Oh geez!

Leave me alone, I'm perfectly fine!

Yup, you look it! You're absolutely
stunning right now! Okay, come on!

My goodness, what the hell did you eat?

Okay, get it all out.

Son of a bitch.

Son of a bitch!

Why are you here?

Oh no, don't tell me that last night
you and I…

Oh Susana!

We didn't do it when there was love
between us…

And besides, I don't do things out of
spite anymore.

I've grown up.

Oh really, Elvira?

Last night we practically punched
each other in the face.

Maybe it's time we talked about
what happened on that trip?

- And you busted my kneecap? All you
- Cut it out with the kneecap crap!

- Could think about was going to raves!
- It wasn't even broken. And so what?

- And there I was, trying to make the
- Do you know how lonely I felt being

- best of our time there and all for what?
- there all by myself? Okay. Okay, okay,

- All you did was party!
- please, please!

Susana, we don't have to be friends again
but we do need to…

find a way to make this situation a
little less… unbearable.

I need this to go well.

Mm-hm.

And despite everything that's going on…

I trust you.

Are you okay?

Your doctor broke up with you?

How do you know that?

Your Oompa Loompa can't keep his
mouth shut.

I'm sorry, Susi.

I don't think I can do this, it's
too much.

Nothing is too much for us, not if we're
in it together.

The other day, I was thinking about
something.

Remember when my father was dating that
secretary who was younger than me?

Remember all those shitty things
we did to her?

Yes but it wasn't really nice, Elvira.

We cut off her hair!

Yeah, no, it wasn't nice.

Nowadays you can end up in jail for
less than that.

But what I'm trying to say is, um…

You and I, we can do this, together.

We're going to save the wedding, Susana.

Whatever it takes.

We are both in this together. Okay, time
for breakfast. Here, check out the menu.

Maria Conchi, please listen to me!
Stop it with the hunger strike,

baby girl. I love you so much, sweetie.

Luis Miguel, um, if she keeps acting
this way, we're gonna have to…

cover her ears…

We're gonna have to take her to the vet…

Please call me if you need anything.
Thank you for your help.

- You're welcome, Elvi
- Really.

My god.

I would never have pictured you
becoming one of those ladies who

puts tacky sweaters on their dogs.

Only when it rains.

Anyway.

We have to find that couple and
figure out how to get them to

change their reservation.

Hm?

Why don't you ask Gustavo?

Did you see the way he looked at you
last night? I'm sure he'd do it for you.

Elvira. Gustavo won't tell me anything…

- at all.
- Yeah, right.

ELVI WHAT TIME ARE WE MEETING?

You know what? I'm gonna find that
man, that Gustavo, and make him tell you

everything, you'll see. I'll be the best
wing woman you've ever had.

How?

No, no! Have some class! No, come
back here!

What are you gonna do? Or say to him?

- Okay.
- Okay.

Hi, Gus. How are you?

It's Gus, right? Gustavo?

Elvira.

Yeah. Hi.

Hey, have fun out there.

Thanks, bro. See you around.

- Ciao.
- How are you?

Fine. I'm doing fine. I wanted to-to…

start off by saying I'm sorry for last
night.

And also, I wanted to let you know
that my friend doesn't usually

act like that.

- She doesn't?
- No.

She's really sad.

She had a boyfriend but he recently
dumped her.

Honestly, I think she deserves better.

Better, how?

You know, someone…

someone who likes the beach and has a
surfboard and…

Yeah.

Maybe…

someone with green eyes or maybe blue.

Depending on the light. Among
other things.

Yeah, I get it.

- You see…
- It was really nice talking to you.

Okay.

But…

Listen, Susi that Gus guy is really cool.
He was asking a lot of questions

about you. He was so cute, acting
all worried about you. He seems

like he's super…

Ethereal.

No. No, I was going to say super
charming.

He is.

You haven't noticed? That's a shame.
Speaking of…

here comes your Prince Charming.

Once upon a time, Susana, there was
nothing you couldn't handle.

Gustavo!

I'll see you at two, right? Do me proud,
baby!

Hey! I have an idea.

No, no, if it's to talk about
your wedding, it's a no.

Of course not. Where are you going?

To buy a few things.

I'll come with you.

Can you… um… Can you open the door?

How much further is the market?

We're almost there.

Susana. Uh… There's no signal out here.

Yeah.

Oh and I almost forgot.

Here, take the wheel just for a second.

- Okay.
- Here, look.

I found it.

Do you still want it?

Thanks.

You're very welcome.

Hey, Elvira.

Conchi and I just left the vet.

She's perfectly fine, don't worry,
nothing's wrong with her.

And she started eating again.

Why did you take her to the vet then?
What did they say?

Alright, I'll tell you what's going on.

Conchi is really sad. She misses
you terribly.

If this is how she reacts after
a few days, imagine what'll happen if

you leave for good.

May I talk to her?

Yeah, I'll put her on.

Hey sweetie, look who it is. Hm? Mommy.

Hey, my love, what's going on?

Please, don't make this even harder than
it already is for me…

I promised you he wouldn't bathe you,
and he won't, I swear.

But please sweetheart, help me out,
will you? Thanks, Luis Miguel,

- talk to you later.
- She knows how much you love her.

Thanks!

I bet they could've had those
yams dropped off by an app, you know.

Well, you can do pretty much anything on

- your phone these days. I'm telling you.
- Yeah.

Do you want the long version or the
short one?

Fucking Susana. Pick up your phone!

What the hell. Let's hear the long one.

Mrs. Marbel, she used to work with
my brother, Mario.

He was the architect who designed
and came up with the whole concept

of the hotel.

Mrs. Marbel, she loves to tell me
stories about her time with Mario.

Well, I wonder if maybe you're
not willing to work that miracle,

Mario will.

I wouldn't consider my brother …a
saint, but…

knowing him, yeah. I'm sure… he would
help you, yes.

If he were still here with us.

The thing is thanks to Mrs. Marbel…

I get to…

remember him.

- Elvira!
- Shh! Shh. What's up?

Do you know where my Susi is?

- No.
- Fuck.

We were supposed to meet at two,
but she's late.

I've been calling and calling and
she won't answer. What about you?

What? What's happening?

Okay.

They didn't bring the alcohol, but
I got a hold of an emergency contact in

Guajira…

who got stuck at the checkpoint.

So they seized it all.

Wait what?

Ah… Mm-hm. Yes.

Just say it.

Nothing, it's just that without alcohol
there's no party and without…

A venue, no ceremony

Exactly!

Tell me, Goofy, have you ever gotten
one thing, right? One?

- One event that wasn't a disaster?
- Yes.

I've got an idea. Be my lookout. Have you
done that before?

No.

It's easy. You stay here, and if you see
someone coming near the office, make a

- noise so I can get out.
- Ah?

No. What are you doing?

What you and Susana clearly can't do.

Hello? Did you get the alcohol?

Enrique, how are you? Yeah, I'm here.

Hey, everyone, say hi to Enrique. Look at
him.

Okay.

Maca, turn to your good side. Which is
her good side? Yes, that's it. That one.

That's perfect.

Yeah, of course. We're here. Yeah, making
progress. Gorgeous. Perfect.

That's great, I think we're done! We got
the shot.

Ethereal? Oh fudge.

Yes, yes it was really, really good
and she's great to work with.

YOU'RE FREE TO BE HERE

Look at this, come here.

Okay, maybe that looks perfectly
fine to you,

- Hm.
- but it's not.

This is an utter piece of shit.

This has to be watchable, not some
garbage for the masses.

I've told you a million times already.
You know this. Am I explaining myself

properly?

- Yes, of course.
- Look…

Hey, stop, stop, stop, stop. Rewind.

Rewind. Stop. Right there. Pause.

Come on, do you actually know
where you're going?

Of course I do. I like to drive this
route whenever I need to think,

or relax, blow off some steam.

We can give it a try if you want.

Ah! Holy mother of God.

Okay.

Ah.

Susana!

Okay.

Fuck you!

I'm totally fucked!

Son of a bitch I'm so fucking alive! Woo.

I don't think I can do this!

Feels pretty good, no?

Ah.

Please stop, stop, stop, stop.

Okay. One second.

Talk about taking your sweet time.

Hey What's up?

I was just by the pool enjoying
some wine. I was coming to check if

you wanted to join me.

What?

Hey, look at that. You're an artist too.

No seriously, don't blame me if I end up
falling madly in love with you,

I'm warning you.

You're not gonna answer that?

Uh…

Chano was just asking me what kind of
shirt he should wear. You know how

dramatic Chano is.

Don't tell me Chano also comes to you for
fashion advice?

He needs a new stylist or something

Okay.

Looks like you didn't need to do much
thinking, just getting away.

Wait did I just do that wholeTitanic
thing?

Okay.

I was thinking it would be nice if we
order a little bit of room service, you

know?

And maybe some wine? What do you
think about that?

- Room service?
- Yes

- No.
- No?

- One glass.
- One glass.

- And done.
- Just one and done.

- And done.
- Fine.

- Fine. One and done.
- One.

You said there's no way I can get you
what you want, right?

Okay, we have two options.

Option one is we go all the way
back to the hotel…

and that's that.

Or the second one, which, if I must say…

is the one I personally recommend…

I take you to the most beautiful place
on earth.

One and done she says. Just one!

- Come on, another.
- I said one

and now I don't know how many we've had.
Oh my God, Neo-what?

No idea. Oh no.

Uh, NeonPulse. Come on. I told you
about that already, but you never listen.

Neon Pulse.

I'm completely serious, that period
of my life was sublime.

Just me and the boys fulfilling our
dream. But then I worked in television

and film.

And I loved being behind the cameras not
the focus of attention but…

Mm-hm.

I think you enjoy it too, as far as
I've noticed.

Honestly, and I'm not even kidding,
you'll never catch me asking for an

autograph

- Uh-huh
- Never in my life.

So what?

But I might make an exception for one of
the guys from Neon Pulse.

But I don't know which one!

No? Are you serious?

Mm-hm.

You'd want an autograph from a member of
Neon Pulse?

Mm.

Okay maybe. But on one condition,
promise me you won't laugh…

at what's about to happen.

- No, no!
- No.

- There are no cameras here, right?
- Don't get my hopes up!

How typical of you to be this
hunky jungle guy that brings the

poor city girl

to a beautiful tropical paradise
to see if she'll loosen up faster.

But good luck my friend because I'm
older and much wiser than you think and

I won't fall for it.

Yeah, well I'm much too old to
be willing to go through all that trouble

just for a city girl to give it
up, believe me.

So how about we relax a bit, hm?

Let's enjoy it! Come on!

And if you don't mind, maybe you can
stick around to watch my sacred water

rituals.

I mean, I guess I'll have no choice.
Unless you have a row boat ro a

canoe on you, I don't see a way out
of here.

It's a shame…

that this obsessive side of you…

is so exhausting.

Because you know what pisses me off?

That even your obsessive side…

Shit!

Hey! Oh God, would you please stop
yelling?

Fascinates me.

Okay, now imagine…

The entire stadium,

90,000 people, almost all women too…

Mm-hm.

Screaming like crazy.

Then we'd come out…

Uh-uh.

More or less dancing like this.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Wow!

- More! Woo!
- Pow! Pow! Pow!

Pow!

Holy shit.

- It's huge.
- Uh-huh.

You're beautiful.

Chano, we can't keep going over this.

You promised you'd keep your mouth
shut and so would I, alright?

What do you mean why?

Quiet!

Don't you remember how brutal it was
for us? Yes!

We're not talking about this anymore.

What a pain in the ass…

Hey there. Who were you talking to?

It was uh…

Oh, my sandals.

Let's go do something.

No, let's not complicate things.

- Oh no?
- No.

- Is that what you want?
- Yep.

Okay good. But I'm gonna call you.

If it's for work, then yes.

- Okay, I will.
- Yep. Okay.

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah. Cool.

Ciao.

- Ciao.
- Ciao.

Geez he's so intense.

Already coming back for round two?

Okay, I told you…

Elvi!

Tell me when was the last time you
had the most mind-blowing sex in

your life?

I guess it was around 2012. I remember
I was at a wake for my friend's uncle.

Yeah, it was my friend Carlota
whose cousin, Juan, threw me on the

- couch.
- Yeah?

But… No… No more stories about morally
questionable sexploits. That's not

what I meant.

No, I mean electric.

But unlike yours,

mine began on a riverbank in a tropical
paradise

and ended in the back of his office.

Uh, hey. Oh, I knew there was no
heartbreak on this earth

that could stand a chance against a
man that delicious. I wanna hear every

- detail.
- Well, I guess it was like more…

General Hospital

meets Lara Croft.

I'm telling you, the man is many things,
but ethereal isnt one of them.

You wouldn't believe all of the sexy
things he was saying.

Saying or doing?

Whispering in my ear between kisses.

Good for you!

Hm. Well, Mercury must be really horny
today,

because before you came over,

I also had a close encounter of the third
kind.

Eh, no, no, no, no, no. Woah. With… No!
Rodolfo?

And?

Oh, my God!

No, no!

- Oh by the way, I found out the name
- Yeah?

Of the bride. No!

You know, I did.

What a badass! You know how hard I tried.
How did you do it?

She has a peculiar name, look.

Alright.

Oh my God wash your hands! Let me see.

Trousseau?

Alaska!

Oh my God, it's you!

How are you? So funny running into you
like this. Wow!

Su!

Yes, since I haven't been able to get
a hold of you,

I wanted to say I was heartbroken
when you canceled your wedding

last minute.

You must be devastated!

You know I am, it's super tough, but
I'm doing the best I can because--

Hm…

Shut it! That's enough out of you, Alaska
Trousseau!

Because of you I'm fucked.

I lost money on the club,

paid everyone in advance and paid for the
insurance,

and like a moron paid for the dress you
messed with your mucus.

You don't have any idea how much that
costs, do you?

Settle down.

I have no idea who accepted those
payments.

Hey…

Maybe you should get proof.

You know, I would've thought you'd
be a lot better at this.

Fair point.

I know.

- Hey!
- Okay, I see.

Well, if you wanna do business like macho
men who think their word is purely

decorative,

and since you won't pay me even if I
send a hitman after you…

I propose we trade.

You give me your wedding date
here at Naio and I'll give you the Minca

Resort.
It has three pools and one waterfall.

Why in the hell would I agree to that?

- Well, I can point out four little
- Good point.

Reasons why you should.

One, two, three…

Those little piggies have been working

- really hard on Fetish lately.
- Fuck.

Congratulations on your success.

But I doubt that your upper class

conservative husband to be would
approve of this lucrative little

business of yours.

So, I'd accept if I were you.

And if you say no,

the next time you're at the pool,

a gardner might even out the other foot.
Huh?

Let's go, Elvi.

Oh my God, Elvi!

Oh no, Elvi!

I just fell over.

Oh my God, that was good.

Oh fuck.

Do you think Mexico has Fetishfans?

How the hell would I know?

I wonder why everyone says Mexico
is super cheap…

I've been there before and no, Mexico is
not cheap at all.

Since when are you so interested in
the mexican economy, huh?

Since Maca's still trying to make a
breakthrough, we might need to

tighten our belts.

Yeah, I've learned a thing or two about
money. I'm better at that…

But as a manager I'm still…

Bleh.

Wait, wait a minute. Um…

Are you saying you're thinking about
moving to Mexico?

- Valentin Eduardo.
- What's up?

Looks like you're not just busy
sucking on oranges, huh?

- No. Mm.
- I'll see you upstairs.

Mm. How'd it go?

Well, we managed to get the date…
together.

- Ah!
- Ah!

No, I'm sorry. Not you.

Oh look!

Hm?

Oh, hey.

Hello.

- Hi there.
- What's up?

We need to talk.

Okay.

Excuse us.

You're in trouble.

We need to talk.

Mmm!

- He's so hot.
- Wait up!

He'd be the perfect donor for my Susi.

Donor of?

- Of what?
- Of what?

Of what?

- What of what?
- Of nothing. Fine but you didn't hear it

from me.

It's just that it turns out my Susi
wants to be a mom.

Huh?

Yes. She's wanted to have kids
for a while now. She's been sober ever

since you two got back from India

until recently, she made up for it
at that party.

You should see her desk at work.
It's full of vitamins and prenatals,

all because Manuel made her think he
was serious…

that was a megafail. So now she's sad

Kids? Cross that off the list.
That's never been part of our plan.

No idea why we even bothered putting it
on the list.

I can't stand those moms who lose their
entire purpose in life the minute they

procreate. Total fail.

She's watching her dreams fall apart and
she's sad.

So yesterday,

you were buying time

while your friend broke into my office to
steal some information. Is that it?

Woah, woah.

Slow down, James Bond.

What are you talking about?

I was going to partner with her until
I saw this…

I'd sue her if I were you. What she
did isn't normal.

I just want to say

that I meant everything I said yesterday.

I meant it. All of it.

But, while I was busy opening up to you,

pouring my heart out like an idiot, you
were buying yourself some time.

To do such a thing, I guess you
have to be really desperate.

Seems like you absolutely need to
make the wedding happen.

So, I have good news for you.

I'm going to let you have your wedding.

But once it's done, I want you
to leave my hotel and…

to never come back.

Have a nice life.

Elvi, did you break into Gustavo's
office?

Are you crazy?

I had to, okay?

Everyone was asking me questions… Maca,
those producers, they all… they had

me by the neck and then Valentin was
telling me…

But to break into his office, Elvi!

I had no choice.

How could you?
That's a total breach of privacy!

He could get us sent to jail!

Oh my God. Calm down, okay?

Why won't you ever listen to me?

Your actions have consequences

and you're not 12 years-old anymore.

Okay, compartmentalize.

The trucks are here.

- Okay, girl.
- What?

Admit it, we make a pretty good team.

High five.

Seriously?

See? Karma is a bitch.

They say you shouldn't see the bride
before the wedding,

but maybe a good morning kiss wouldn't be
so bad.

We slept in separate rooms so we
can really build the excitement for

today.

To be honest it's been more than a week
that Maca and I haven't you know…

No, cut that part.

Sure.

Okay so we slept in separate rooms last
night so we can build up some excitement

for the big day. Okay, so now let's
surprise, Maca.

Here we go.

It's this room here. On the right.
Okay now enter.

How's my princess?

What the fuck. Come with me. Shut up
just get in.

- Yeah. You guys…
- Back off. Back off, asshole.

Y ahora me toca estar sin ti.

Tu traición duele más si me quedo aquí.

Your betrayal hurts me more if I stay here

Aunque cueste, es lo mejor para mí.

Even if it's hard, it's the best for me

Tengo que admitir que no volveremos
a coincidir.

Okay fine, she changed the lyrics,
so what?

Changed the lyrics, are you fucking
serious?

You lied to me. You swore we were
going to take it to our graves.

Maybe you should learn not to shit
where you eat, my love.

Hurry, hurry.

Grab your camera. Come on, let's go.
Hurry.

Wait!

What did you do?

Huh?

Nothing, I didn't do anything. Hurry, I
need you to help me find Maca.

Wait. See?

This was 40 minutes ago.

Elvi, did you fuck Chano?

- Oh my God! What? He could be your your
- I didn't do anything! My grandson?

Your grandson! You know what I mean!

Over here!

I've got money, cash,

dough, euros, dollars, whatever you
need to help me find this girl.

Help me! Help me! Hurry! Get inside
that taxi!

Follow that taxi!
The antenna! The antenna!

- We have to keep filming!
- Let's go! Let's go!

Come on, faster!

Keep following them!

You were right earlier!

I should've put little trackers on them.

Did you say something about trackers?

Should I go in? I know I can't.

Elvi!

Susi!

Elvi! The last flight to Bogota left
20 minutes ago.

I know.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no.

No, no, no! Don't pass out on me! You can
do that on your own time.

- I fucked it all up.
- Look at me.

You know it was aleady fucked!

Susana, what are we doing? You have
no idea how to plan a wedding

and I have no idea how to plan a concert.

I can't manage anyone's career!

Please forget the idea that you and I
ever made a good team. No, delete!

Erase, cut, delete, delete, move to
trash. I'm telling you we are impossible

- together.
- What's the point? Why did we

- bother making an attempt?
- Enough!

Get a hold of yourself and quit talking
nonsense!

Was that really worth a slap?

I-I at least took off my ring first so be
grateful!

I'm so sorry. Maybe I did go a bit
overboard.

I was possessed with the… spirit of
the Real Housewives of Beverly…

Wake up now, come on!

So much water has passed under
this bridge and no matter how salty it

may be,
it's too late to back down now, 'kay?

We must gather up what little dignity we
have left and get out of this hellhole.

Come on, let's give it one last
small push and that's it, Elvira.

Besides, it's not as if it could get
more fucked up than it is.

Oh, but wait a minute.

Elvi, the last plane left about twenty
minutes ago.

Oh my God!

That means she would've missed it!
Think of where she might have gone.

How would I know, Susi?

Don't be stupid, you have this weird
kind of mother-daughter bond going

on with Maca.

You must use that god given instinct all
mothers have deep down inside.

That's how mothers…

know everything.

I know where she is.

If she's not there, I don't know where
she could be.

Wait up!

You're too slow!

- Where is she?
- Maca!

We were so worried about you, we thought
you flew home, Maca!

No, no! Is this some joke to you or what?

Hooking up with my boyfriend who's
your client, and who's 40 years

younger than you.

Wait a sec… you mean thirteen.

And don't tell me you seriously think I
slept with Chano.

No, no. I don't think it, I know it.

But I don't know what hurts me the most.

That Chano cheated on me or that it
was with you.

Maca…

Maca, I didn't hook up with Chano.

Why do you think I fired Laura?

She is by far one of the best drummers I
know.

But, Elvi, why couldn't you be honest
with me?

You and I were supposed to be friends.

We are friends, Maca.

But as soon as I noticed how
miserable and in how much pain he was,

and ashamed of himself…

I decided to keep my mouth shut
and not tell you.

I swear, in any other circumstance,

I would've told him to fuck off.

But I don't think things are as simple
as they seem, Maca.

People don't cheat because they don't
love their partner. They do it because…

they're broken,

scared,

or immature.

Chano loves you more than he loves
himself, and that's saying a lot.

So you're asking me to get married to
a man who was unfaithful?

He cheats on me once, he'll cheat
on me again.

Hold on.

We need to take a step back. Maca,
marriage is…

is a flawed institution that requires,
you know, a ton of room for error and

patience.

You can't do it half-assed.

In the end, Maca,

wouldn't you say…

life is more beautiful…

when you spend it with someone you love?

She has a point.
I know you'll make your dreams come true.

The question is do you want to do
it with or without Chano?

If it's without him, then forget
about the wedding.

But if it's with him…

Then you take the risk.

It's as simple as that.

Now do you mind telling me…

who in the world ever told you that I
slept with Chano?

Rodolfo.

Oh, shit…

Okay.

I don't know. The truth is, I think
I need to take some time and think about

some things.

Really?

Okay.

I'm gonna go for a walk.

Hey.

Do you think she might cancel
the wedding?

One minute to air people.

One minute to air.

Virgin Mary, I come begging you.

Please make sure Maca shows up.

If she does, I swear, I'll stop using
Grindr forever…

For a few days and purge my phone of
its texts.

I'm begging you.

Chano, your feathers.

Come on. Ah, ah. Relax, it's all good.

- No, no.
- There.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, look. Gorgeous.
Stunning. stunning. We're done.

Yeah? We're done? Good He's better than
ever! He's loking better than ever. He's

handsome as hell and everything is under
control.

You're good.

- You're not hearing me. I'm in pain
- Okay, okay, I'm sorry I promise

- right now, okay, Rodolfo?
- we're gonna talk after this. Listen,

your heart will break over and
over again, we've all been there, okay?

Love isn't a real thing, Chano! The show
must go on.

We must compartmentalize this bullshit

- somehow, okay? Talk to him! Talk to him!
- Yes, yes, yes exactly. Compartmentalize,

- Tell him!
- yeah.

We're gonna calm down, Chano. I feel

- like Maca will be here any minute I can
- No, no I don't… I don't… Please I

feel it. I have an intuition I swear to

- God--
- can't do it…

Intui… what kind of bullshit intuition?
Did your mother drop you on the

head as a baby?

Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey!
Listen to me for once in your

- You fucking idiot!
- fucking life! I'm not going!

- Stop fucking filming me. No, no, no, no,
- I'm calling it off! That's it! It'sover!

- No!
- You're an absolute heterosexual ape!

So, I just want to be honest with
you guys for a moment.

The truth is I'm not okay.

My voice is breaking because…

because I love Macarena with all my heart

and today I lost her, like an idiot.

We all act like idiots sometimes, right?
But if you get the chance to love

someone,

it's important that you respect them.

I didn't know how to do that.

The only thing I know how to is play
guitar.

Other than that, I'm a screw-up.

So that's how I'm feeling today

and I just wanted to be completely
honest with you guys.

Maca!

- Maca! Maca! Maca! Maca! Maca! Maca! Maca!
- Get it, girl!

Maca! Maca! Maca! Maca! Maca!

- I love you too.
- We love you, Maca!

- I'm really sorry.
- I know.

Please forgive me. I'm so sorry.

Ah!

- Ah!
- Ah!

To be honest, I don't get it.

Was it supposed to be a sort of marketing
strategy?

I mean, what did you expect would happen
when Maca found out?

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Please just leave. I don't wanna hear
your bullshit anymore.

You're really gonna do this to
me, are ya? I put you on the map.

And you, us…

Maybe in another life.

Not a chance.

- How romantic.
- Not in any life.

A real poet, huh?

- About yesterday
- Um, sorry!

Susi, I'm sorry…

but you…

just received a package.

Val, can't the package wait?

It's a package from Ukraine.

Yeah, so…

Here?

Cheers.

Thanks.

Hi.

I brought you my samples. They're
sealed and notarized. Just like

you asked.

I don't want you to give me what I want
because I asked for it but rather

because you want to do it.

Manu, it's obvious neither your mind nor
your heart are in it with me and I

understand.

The world needs your talent. That's
what I admire the most about you.

I really do.

I don't want to lose you. And if I
have to change my whole life around so

we can be together, then so be it.

You and I are too old to be making
those kind of life changes,

and they never end well.

Thanks.

Cheers to those who love,

and those who ask for forgiveness.

Cheers to the insane amount of
soap operas we had to watch

to understand that love is better
off without drama.

Cheers to those who have been with us at
every stage in life.

Susana, you're my number one.

Cheers to you all.

Cheers!

Elvi! Elvi, look who's here.

Conchi! What are you doing here?

Maria Conchita couldn't stand being
without you. Who could blame her, huh?

You have to take her to Mexico.

Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!

- Just you wait.
- Kiss…

- Ah yes, a kiss!
- Hey.

Attack!

Did you resolve your issues with
that package from Ukraine?

With Manuel?

I have an offer to make you.

How about you stay at the hotel for a few
days at least until you decide…

what comes next in your life.

And I'm asking this…

as one good friend would ask another,

with no strings attached, or any
expectations.

And I promise nothing will happen

unless you do want it to happen.

It's best if I shut up now, right?

I'll shut up then.

Susi, have you been happy all these
years?

- Have you?
- I don't know.

I feel like I'm this lukewarm middle aged
sandwich…

not young enough to start over but
definitely not old or wise either.

You know what I mean? I don't know it's
like…

Too old to start over, but too young
to give up, is that it?

The only time a forty-something
year-old is ever considered young is

in an obituary.

You know of all the nonsense I
had on that list, I only kept one thing.

Make up with Susana.

On my checklist…

marked under super important,

make up with you.

So much time lost.

I know. I'm telling you, there's
no one else in my freakin' life who can

help me stay grounded and not drift away.

And the only person who keeps me
centered is you.

I need someone who can…

show me that it's okay to fall down

but must always be strong and
brave enough to get back up again.

You've shown me that again and again.

So, thank you.

Are you really gonna hand over
the company to Valentin?

Sure.

You know, I need to focus on becoming a
mother.

And if I'm gonna bring a baby into
this world,

I need to take care of myself first.

Especially now that I'm considering
doing it all alone.

You're going to be the best mother ever.

And you won't be alone.

You mean, you're willing to stay by my
side through this?

Obviously!

I'll be by your side 'til the end!

I'll help you…

uh, wash their bottles and sing songs
and kiss their little hands. Just…

no diapers please.

Don't worry, I promise, no.

Are you serious though?

Of course.

This is probably the nicest thing
you've ever said to me.

Thanks.

I'm covered in sand.

Same here.

Please reconsider the diaper thing.

No.

I love you.

Oh fuck, I already forgot what it means!
Um…

Elvira, are you kidding me? Come on,
center yourself. Okay. Okay, listen

one line means bad.

I'm sorry, God. Okay, okay, okay,
let's see.

One line bad.

- But two means good. Okay let's see.
- Okay. Two lines means good. Okay, got it.

You look.

Okay.

No, lemme look! Lemme look! It'll be
better if I do it. Lemme look please!

- Come on.
- Okay.

Oh. Oh, fuck me, I forgot what it was
again.

- One…
- One line means good. Two means bad.

Two means, yeah… Okay.

Yes. No! No, no, no.

Two lines means good.

- One means bad. Two good One bad.
- One…

- Two…
- Two…

- Three…
- Three.

SUSANA AND ELVIRA

WILL BE BACK

Oh, I do.