All language subtitles for Curb.Your.Enthusiasm.S06E07.The.TiVo.Guy.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[Larry] See? You see
what's going on here?

See, look at that.
It jumps and then it freezes.

- It's frustrating.
- It's very frustrating.

I'm missing all my shows...

- "Lost."
- Oh, last week...

You know that guy they killed
off the previous week?

Alright, don't tell me.
I don't wanna know.

He's not dead, he's back.
He came back.

I just told you not to tell me.

- Shocking.
- Are you nuts?

One of my top five episodes of all time.

And by the way, how come you
didn't show up last Thursday?

You didn't even call.

We had a lot of appointments
last Thursday, so...

So what about the TV?

Well, I don't think it's your TiVo.

It's probably the, uh, satellite

- But I'm gonna take a look.
- Satellite? Okay.

Um...

You know, it just gets
a little frustrating.

Every time I sit down and
watch it, it's not working.

- Hello?
- Larry!

- Oh, hey, honey.
- Oh, my God.

Honey you couldn't call at a worse time.

- I got the TiVo guy here.
- Oh, my God!

Hey, you got the warranty on this thing?

- Huh?
- The warranty.

Oh, wait, hold on. What...

We're going through

a really big storm right now.

- Hold on one second.
- I need a warranty card.

Honey, let me ask you a question.

Do you know where the
warranty card is the TiVo?

No, I-I don't.

Listen, in case something
happens to me...

- I mean, it's really bad.
- Is it in the kitchen drawer?

By any chance?

- What?
- I'm sorry. I can't hear you.

What is that?
What did you say?

Do you know who the guy
was that came out?

No, I'm not talking to you.

Larry, I just want to
tell you just in case...

I can't hear you, honey.
Wait, hold on one second.

...for some reason I
don't make it home...

Who came and put this thing in?

You know who the guy
was who installed...

I don't know.

I don't know his name.

Was it Tom or something?

- I just want you to know...
- Or Don? Something like that?

- Maybe Bill or James?
- Oh, my God!

I'll come back later this afternoon

because it looks like
you're really busy.

Oh, no, jeez. Honey, I'm sorry.

Please. He's gonna go.

I'm never gonna get him again.

It's alright.
I can come back.

No, stay right there.

Call me back in 10 minutes. Okay?

- What?
- I'm sorry, sweetheart.

- I love you.
- Keep talking. I'll come back.

No, no, that's okay.

- Stay, stay right here.
- Larry!

Isn't he something, Billy?

Have you ever seen horses like him?

[Billy] Not quite.

Hey!

Turned it off. Guess what?

We're having dinner at Primo's tonight.

I made a reservation.

Hmm? That's your husband.

Hey.

I'm leaving.

I'm leaving, Larry.

I can't do this anymore.

You can't do this? What?

What? What?
What are you t...

Does, does that really surprise you?

What do you mean you're leaving?

What are you doing?

I just called you from an airplane

telling you
I was about to crash...

The, the TiVo guy was here.

I could barely hear
what you were saying.

He was, he was about to leave.

I couldn't even get the guy
to come to the house.

You know, it's very hard
to get those people here.

- It was broken.
- Oh, really?

- I got it fixed for you.
- Well, okay.

I saved all your shows.

"Barefoot Contessa," "Top
Chef," "Project Runway."

I wouldn't let him.
I saved those shows for you.

We've got these shows right here.

It's not just about the TiVo.

What? What else is it about?

"What else is it about?"

It's all of it.

You can't do anything
like a normal person.

It's about talking during sex.

So, so I talk during sex.
So what?

Yeah, but it's not dirty talk.
You chitchat.

- So?
- How...

"Who can't tell that real
crab isn't fake crab?"

By the way, people should be able

to tell real crab from fake crab.

You gotta be a moron if you
can't tell the difference.

- That's what I think.
- Well, you know what?

If I bring that up while
we're having sex

that's a fun topic to discuss.

You know what the thing is, Larry?

People ask me all the time,
"How do you stay with him?"

And I always tell them,
"there's another side to Larry

that you don't see."

And then I just realized today

there's no other side.

- No, there's another side.
- There's no other side!

- This is it!
- There's a lot of sides.

I'm complex!

After I thought I was gonna die

and you hung up on me

I started talking to the guy next to me

and I realized not everybody's like you.

I mean, there are normal
people out there

that have conversations.

- Oh, the guy next to you.
- interested in other people.

And we had a very...

...soulful conversation.

- That's sweet.
- About li... Okay, see?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Okay, this guy.

Does he carry mints and
a pen and tissues

at all times like I do, huh?

Does he have mints?
How is his breath?

- Very pleasant.
- Really?

- What does he do?
- He owns an underwear company.

- Mm-hmm, yes.
- Oh, an underwear company.

Hmm. What kind of underwear?

He invented...
It doesn't matter...

Underwear that doesn't have a fly.

- No-Fly Zone?
- No-Fly Zone.

That is the dumbest company.

What a stupid...
I've tried that underwear.

It is so idiotic.

You have to drop the
underwear to pee, okay?

I think we just need a
little time apart.

- I'm gonna be at my sister's.
- Don't do this.

- Larry.
- This is crazy, honey.

What are you doing this for?

I love you.

How could you do this?
What do you mean?

You weren't there for
me when I needed you.

I couldn't hear you.

I'll be at Becky's.

You're talking on an airplane phone.

Yeah, I didn't think
I was gonna like this.

Usually I don't like the skin.
It's delicious.

I marinate it before I roast it.

Cheryl left me.

- What?
- What?

- What do you mean she left you?
- She's gone. She left.

- What happened?
- Really?

She's gone.
She's out of the house.

Suitcase... clothes.

- Oh, she'll come back, Larry.
- She's with her sister.

She's not coming back.

You want something to eat, sweetie?

Let me get you something.

- Jodi, get him a chair, please.
- Oh, sure.

- What happened?
- Let me get you a plate.

You know, she was coming back on a plane

and there was a storm

and she called me from the plane.

And, you know, I had the
TiVo guy in the house.

So?

Well, you know, it's so hard
to get the TiVo guy, man.

This guy, we keep exchanging calls.

I can't get him there.

So he's finally there, you know

and the whole call he's kind
of talking to me, going...

What's with the small plate?

That's the only one I had clean.

What?

- It's the same exact portion.
- Such a tiny plate...

It's the same exact portion.
What's the difference?

It's what my grandmother
used to eat from.

What happened with Cheryl on the plane?

There was a lot of turbulence.
She was really frightened.

The TiVo guy was there.
I couldn't really talk.

And, I told her to call
me back in 10 minutes.

- What?
- Oh, Larry.

[Jeff] The plane's going down

and you said, "call me back"?

- You can't do that.
- You didn't say that.

I didn't know it was going down!

- Okay. Okay. Alright,
- I didn't know.

Alright, you know what?

She's gonna get over it

and it's all gonna be okay.

No, she's not gonna get over it

because she met a guy on the plane.

[Susie] What? Where did
she meet another guy?

- Really?
- On the plane.

While the plane was going down?

- Guy sitting next to her.
- Oh, no.

[Jeff] Guy sitting next to her.

- What a scumbag.
- Lowlife.

Takes advantage of a married
woman who's scared.

I feel terrible. I'm emotionally
distraught over this.

I mean, I know this would never
happen to Nan and myself.

Of course not.

But I wanna say one thing.

Okay Cheryl's a great girl.

She's adorable, good
cook, fun to be with.

She has a terrific body.

Used to be amazing.

- I remember.
- It's true.

But let me make my point.

None of us at this table
ever would have met Cheryl

if not for Larry David.

- That's true.
- That's true, yeah.

- Very true.
- I brought her into your lives.

Cheryl's a great girl

but we have to stick with Larry.

People are gonna take sides now.

Listen, this is a time we
have to stand behind Larry.

- Hey, that could be Cheryl.
- You'll get it later.

We don't answer the phone at dinner.

What? I'll answer it.

No, no, no.
No, the phone is not...

Susie, what kind of
fucked up rule is that?

No, we don't answer the phone...

What? Get the hell...

What, are you crazy?

You don't answer the phone.
Give me that!

- Argh! Argh.
- Give it to me!

We don't answer the phone
during dinner! It's a rule!

- Aah! You jammed my thumb.
- You weren't invited.

Go eat somewhere else!

Oh, Jesus.

I forgot to cancel my
reservation at Primo's.

- I'll use my cell phone.
- Out in the hall.

- Not in the kitchen.
- Alright, pipe down.

Thank you for calling Primo's.
This is Iris.

Oh, hi, um, this is Larry David calling.

Oh, hi, Mr. David.

We, uh, have you down
for 7:30 tonight.

Oh, you know what? Um, I'm
I'm gonna have to cancel.

Oh, I'm so sorry. May I ask why?

Well, if you must know,
uh, my wife left me.

Your wife left you.

Yeah, my wife left me.

Okay, Mr. David, in the future

it'd be nice just to get
a little more notice

when you want to cancel a reservation.

- You don't believe me?
- Sure, I believe you.

Your wife left you. Okay.

You know, I'm getting from your tone

that you don't believe me.

You have to cancel.
I understand.

I'm just saying that it's our policy

to get a little more notice.

Okay, in the future

if my wife leaves me

I'll make sure she does
it in the morning.

Have a great night.

Maxwells?

You okay?

What the hell is this?

That's, uh, Simon's birthday party.

What, he's having it at Maxwells?

Big band, special guest.

- He's going all out.
- Special guest?

Who goes all out for a birthday party?

Like, that's crazy.

I thought he was having
this in his house.

You know how expensive that is?

I loaned him $10,000 last month.

- Last month?
- Yeah.

He said he needed the money.

He needed it to give himself

a birthday party at Maxwells!

I'm paying for this thing.

- Hey.
- Hi.

I'm sorry, I just came by

to pick up a few more things.

Oh.

Oh.

Um, I'm so glad you're here

because I...

I need to talk to you.

Can, can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah.

I need you to do something for me.

- If it would be okay.
- Okay.

I had to call Primo's to
cancel our reservation.

Yeah.

And the hostess, uh

asked me why I was canceling

and I told her it was
because you left me.

Mm-hmm.

But I don't think she believed me.

So what I'd like you to do

is to call the restaurant

and just sort of, you
know, confirm my story.

You want me to call a
stranger at a restaurant

and talk to them about our marriage?

Well, she's not really a stranger.

Iris, you know Iris.

The hostess. She works there.

I don't really know Iris.

You know the one.
She's got the long hair.

I know who you're talking about

but I really don't think
I want to call her

and tell her that we're breaking up.

You know, she said she
believed me, but...

There was something in her tone

that told me that maybe she thought

I was making this up or something.

I mean, who would go to the lengths

of saying that their
wife split up with them

and that's why they had to cancel?

You would.

Not so sure about that.
I don't think I would.

Yeah, well, excuse me.
I gotta actually get this stuff.

Cheryl, don't, don't go.
Come on.

Come on, just, just stay.
Don't, don't...

I need to go, Larry.

Will you call the restaurant?

- Hey, Larry.
- Hey, Simon.

- Yeah. How are you?
- I'm okay.

Good, good, good, good.

You know, uh,
I was over at Jeff's

and I noticed the
invitation to your party.

Aren't the invitations great?
I took a lot of time on that.

I had no idea the party was
gonna be at Maxwells.

- With the open bar...
- Yeah. Open bar.

And the band, and the special guest.

Wait till you hear about
the special guest. Yeah.

I loaned you $10,000 a month ago.

You didn't tell me you were having

this big party for yourself.

$10,000 has nothing to
do with the party.

- What are you talking about?
- No, no, no, no.

I'm not using that money for that.

I'm using the money for something else.

- And I appreciate it.
- I know.

But you wouldn't have to use
the money for something else

if you didn't have this party.

You could have used the money for that.

Don't connect the two, 'cause they...

Don't think of them as...

I see them as being connected.

No, they're not connected at all.

No, have nothing to do with each other.

Simon, you're
crazy, you know?

Anyway, alright, so fine.

- Yeah.
- I'll see you at Maxwells.

This is probably gonna be some party.

Um, okay, here's the thing...

Cheryl is gonna be there.

Are you comfortable with that?

I'm comfortable.

I don't think anybody else will be...

...comfortable.

Well, they're gonna have to, uh...

It's their problem, isn't it, you know?

Here's the thing...
My wife and I talked about it.

And, uh... Ahem.

We chose Cheryl.

Believe this guy?
$10,000 I loan him.

Disinvites me from the
party, choosing Cheryl.

I'm paying for that party.
You know that? Hey, Zev.

Hello, Larry David.

You're cleaning your
underwear and socks?

Yeah, that's another thing...

I gotta go back to fluff and fold now.

Alana didn't show up.

You know, I don't have her phone number.

Cheryl took care of all that stuff.

You're just lost, aren't you?

- I'm completely lost.
- Oh, my God.

You know what I got in my foyer at home?

Pictures of all my dry cleaners.

Hey, Xena the Warrior Princess.

- Yeah.
- You used to watch that show?

- Of course.
- Yeah, she's pretty sexy.

Oh, my...

What the hell, Larry?

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Oh.

- Why did you do that?
- Oh, shit.

- It's ripped.
- She doesn't come in anymore.

How am I gonna get another picture?

Man.

You can get Lucy Lawless'
picture, can't you?

You know what,
I'll get a hold of her agent

and we'll find it, I'll get it.

Okay, I'll get you another picture.

Could you have her make it
out to "Zev" this time?

- Yes.
- Thank you.

- Okay.
- Alright, Larry.

- I'm sorry.
- That's alright.

Just give me the picture.

- I'll get the picture.
- Thank you so much.

Please take this
couple over to table 24.

Thanks. Have a nice dinner.

What's, what's taking
so long, may I ask?

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. David, we're
just really full tonight.

It should just be a couple more minutes.

Let me ask you a question.

Did my wife call the restaurant?

No.

Is that why
I'm not getting a table?

'Cause you didn't believe my
breakup story last night?

I don't know what you're talking about.

I think you do know what
I'm talking about.

No, we're just really full tonight.

Why would I make that up?
That's insane.

Mr. David, we'll be right with you.

You'd have to be insane to
make up a story like that.

If I wanted to cancel a reservation

and needed an excuse, I would
just say I'm sick or something.

Primo's, this is Iris.

- Sure, come right in.
- You know, we did break up.

That's why I had to
cancel the reservation.

Okay, we'll see you soon.

You totally deserve that.

You totally deserve it.
Yes, you do.

On no planet is a shoe
caddy a good gift.

That's just a... What? No...

Alright, yeah, no, no, no.

I get that it was payback, but...

It's not long distance
even if it's in India.

So I'm on the 14th hole, okay?

Lloyd, he's got these
great Cuban cigars.

- What? Can't talk to you, Mom.
- So we're smoking these cigars.

I got someone on the other line.

So I reach down to take a puff...

I can't hear you.
It's loud in here.

And all of a sudden,
Lloyd goes...

No, no, just call them.

"What the fuck are you doing?
That's my cigar!"

I'm gonna have to call you back.

So I was trying to brush
my teeth with an apple.

It was, it was horrible, horrible.

Um, excuse me.

- W-Who are you talking to?
- I'm talking to myself.

Well, you're doing it really loud.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah, yeah.

You're kind of talking loud yourself.

- To a person.
- What's the difference?

Uh, I'm actually conversing
with another human being.

- Oh, really?
- Very different than just...

To the outside observer

it's the same level of annoyance.

Well, I need to talk to my friend.

I can barely hear here.

Okay, well, maybe if you
talk lower to your friend

I'll talk lower to my other self.

- Great. Great.
- Okay?

- Yeah, good plan.
- Alright.

- Good. What a schmuck.
- Jesus Christ.

I'm literally sitting
minding my own business...

He's been talking on his cell
phone the whole dinner.

He's still doing it.
Do you hear that?

Listen, you hear this?

He doesn't even think
he's being annoying.

He thinks he can just sit there

and talk out loud and not be annoying.

He's literally just doing it

just to be annoying.

He's been driving me nuts
the last 10 minutes.

I'm done anyway.
This is bullshit.

- I'm paying. I don't care.
- No, can you hear him?

Wait. I got Steve on the other line.

He wins, he wins. Yeah, you win.

Hey, Steve...

Do me a favor. Remind me...

These people, they're just...

Who are you talking to?

Oh, hey.

- Hi, Jodi.
- Hey.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Let's play golf.

I can't.

Larry, the Funkhousers
have made a decision.

We're going with Cheryl.

Yeah.

- Oh.
- Oh.

- Hi, Becky.
- Hi.

Um, is Cheryl here?

No, she's not here right now, so...

- You know when she'll be back?
- Mm-mm. I don't.

- But it was good to see you.
- Alana?

Is that Alana?

Mr. Larry.

What are you doing here?

I work for Mrs. Cheryl.

- You chose Cheryl?
- Yes.

[Cheryl] Hey, Becky?

Oh, I wasn't sure if
you'd still be here.

- I thought you were gonna...
- I am and...

- Hi.
- Hi.

This is Glenn. This is Larry.

- Hey.
- Nice to meet you.

Nice head of hair.

Okay. What are you doing here?

Um, you need to call
Ted Danson back.

He wanted to invite you two
to an Oceans fundraiser.

Oh, yeah. Okay, thanks.

- You'll like Ted.
- I like the ocean.

Then it's perfect.

- I'm very pro-ocean.
- So, Glenn.

How's the no-fly, uh,
underwear business doing?

- Great.
- I told him about the business.

- Yeah.
- It's going great.

- Is it?
- Yeah.

You think men want an underwear

that has no fly?

I know they do.

74% of the men we tested
go over the fence.

- Oh, they do?
- Yeah.

The rest go, uh, through the gate.

You're not giving people an option.

The penis needs an option

just like everybody else.

The penis is human.
It needs an option.

Alright, well, you should
probably get going.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Mint?
- No, uh...

- Tissue?
- No, I, uh...

Pen?

- Is that Glenn with two N's?
- It is, in fact.

You know what?
I wouldn't care...

I wouldn't care if she
left me for a bald guy.

Right.

But this is like the worst betrayal.

What does he look like?

Thick, like presidential,
Kennedy hair.

- And he makes underwear?
- Yeah, no-fly underwear.

Like there's some great clamoring
for no-fly underwear.

- Who needs no-fly underwear?
- I know.

A guy who goes into a store and goes

"I-I need a pair of underwear.

- I got a vagina."
- I know.

No-fly underwear.

Hello? Hold on one second.

Great. Thank you so very much.

Really, thank him. Thanks. Bye.

Here you go. Lucy Lawless.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Oh, thanks.
Let me call her.

Which water is mine?

I don't know. I took one sip.

I have no, uh...

- We'll have to get...
- We'll get more water.

- "To Zev..."
- Zev, yes.

- "Lucy Lawless."
- Thank you so much.

Not only get you the picture,
I get you Lucy Lawless.

- Thank you so much.
- My pleasure.

Wow, you make lovely L's.

- You got my dry cleaning?
- Uh, tomorrow after 5:00.

Hey, that was so nice of you to do that.

- Oh, you're welcome.
- To tell you the truth...

I thought he was gonna
be more bowled over

by your presence, he
took it pretty calmly.

People are always expecting
someone bigger.

I used to be very intimidated
by that warrior princess.

- I gotta tell you.
- Did you really?

- Yes.
- And now?

Now that I see you in person

I actually think I can take you.

Look I'm not a cool guy
or anything, okay?

I haven't been on a date in 12 years

but I would love to waste your
time for couple of hours.

What do you think about that?

Is that... Can I do that?
Is that possible?

- How about that?
- Okay, yeah.

Have you been to Primo's?

I've never been to Primo's.

I hear that it's great though.

- It's really good.
- Alright, yeah.

Well, you've got my number.

I do.

- What?
- Oh, jeez.

- What?
- Ted Danson.

He is an asshole.

Oh, Really? You don't like him?

- I despise him.
- Hey. How are you?

- Hi.
- How are you doing, man?

- You know, uh, Lucy Lawless?
- I do.

- Yeah, we met.
- Ted Danson.

- Yeah, nice to see you.
- You too.

- Um... Well, okay.
- Alright.

Bye.

What is that? "Call me"?

- Did she just do a "call me"?
- Yeah, she did.

- We're going out to dinner.
- Really?

- Yes. Yeah.
- Well, good for you.

I asked her for a date.
Here's what I said.

"I'm not really a cool guy or anything"

which is a pretty good line I thought.

I never did that when I was dating

admit that I wasn't a cool guy.

Now I didn't give a shit. I just
said, "I'm not a cool guy."

It fucking worked!
"I'm not a cool guy"!

I'm gonna use it all the time.

- Good for you, man, really.
- Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, you deserve that.
I gotta scoot. I got...

Wait, let me ask you something.

How come I wasn't invited
to your fundraiser?

- Wha-what fundraiser?
- The Oceans fundraiser.

Oh!

Uh, I thought you were
a global-warming guy.

- Really?
- Yeah.

You're going with Cheryl, aren't you?

Yeah. Yeah.

[Keysha] "Okay, what's Jim
Jones' most famous song?"

- "Ballin'"!
- And there he is, y'all!

- Uh-oh, uh-oh.
- And a la-di-da.

- Not too much? Not too dressy?
- No.

- No, you look good.
- You're cool, man. You're cool.

You're bringing it tonight, man.

Let me tell you something.

What, am I gonna sit home?
She's going out.

That's right.

She's got a new boyfriend already!

Your turn.

By the way, guess who
I'm going out with?

- Who?
- Who are you going out with?

Xena the Warrior Princess.

- Ooh!
- Wait a second now.

- What?
- Huh?

- Do you love that?
- I love it!

- Don't wait up.
- Oh, don't worry, we won't.

- My man,LD.
- Yeah.

Hey, sorry you gotta
miss that Laker game.

- Forget about it.
- Oh, I got to TiVo!

- Aah! Oh! Aah!
- What? What the hell?

- Larry, you alright?
- You alright?

Leon, go help him.

- What happened?
- What happened, man?

- You alright?
- What's the matter?

- So what's the deal?
- Yeah, what's the deal?

I was just about to explain.

Based on your signs and symptoms

when you twisted your body

your testicles got ensnared
in the fly of your underwear

which acted like a noose.

And it caused scrotal
hematoma and contusion.

- Oh, what?
- Twisted balls.

In layman's terms, yes,

but it's not as bad as it sounds.

It's a bruising, which
will probably last

about a week or so.

Oh, okay.

But I would definitely recommend

switching to a style of
underwear with no fly.

No-Fly Zone?

- That what you're telling me?
- That's exactly it.

No-Fly Zone.
That's a popular brand.

I'm not, I'm not wearing
that underwear, okay?

You gotta do it, man.

You got long balls, Larry.
Long balls.

- You got long-ass balls.
- I've got long balls?

Doctor you've seen his balls, right?

Would you say my balls
were unusually long?

They're a bit more distended
than the average testicles.

You got long-ass balls, Larry.

Long-ball Larry.
That's your new name.

Long balls. Who the hell knew?

Long balls. Change the drawers.

Okay, fine.

I'll wear the No-Fly Zone.

Hey, thanks for getting
me through this so fast.

- Yeah, yeah, my pleasure.
- You know what, I got a date.

- I gotta get out of here.
- Oh, yeah, speaking of that.

You're gonna want to ice your testicles

and no sex for at least a week.

I don't think that's gonna be a
problem for me, but thanks.

Thanks for the info. Alright.

- Good luck.
- Thanks.

My man.

- I got long balls.
- Long-ass balls.

I've actually trained my body
not to use public toilets.

Trained it.

So I never ever have to go

when I'm out of my house.

Yeah, I'm getting a red
flag here, Larry.

You know what?
We should switch sides.

'Cause the game's on.

- I don't want to look at it.
- Why not?

Because I want... I'm TiVoing it.

Oh, hate spoilers, right?

I can't watch it if I know what happens.

- So what else about you?
- I'm a man of mystery.

- And you're a Jew, right?
- Yeah!

Yeah, 'cause we don't have
those where I come from.

- Really?
- Nope.

So I must be quite fascinating to you.

You are so exotic you have no idea.

- Yeah? Really?
- Yeah.

It's like a black man in Sweden.

It's exactly like that.

- Right?
- Mr. Akivo, your table's ready.

Right this way please.
Sorry for the wait.

Okay... we were definitely
here ahead of them.

- Absolutely.
- Huh, were we not?

- Uh-huh.
- I'm gonna talk to the owner.

Hey, primo.

Mr. David, good evening.

Hey, what's going on?

All these people
I came in ahead of

are getting seated.

How come I'm not getting a table?

Mr. David... there is no table.

No table? How come no...

What, what do you mean "no table"?

We chose Cheryl.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

Can you believe that?

It's okay. It's not your fault.

- Mint?
- Yeah.

- Tissue?
- No.

So what do you want to do now?

We could go to my house.

- Your house?
- Sure.

It's just up the road.

Oh, right.

What?

My testicles got ensnared
in the fly of my underwear

and the doctor said
I can't have sex for a week.

But we can go there for dinner.

I was only talking about
dinner, you big asshole.

No! No!

I'm so... I...

- Hey, how are you doing?
- Hey, name please.

Uh Larry David.
Simon's party, right?

- Yes.
- Cool.

Sorry, you're not on the list.

That's gotta be a mistake.

I gotta be on this list.
I'm a close friend.

My wife is in there.

If you're not on the list,
I can't let you in.

Come on, man.
I'll give you 20 bucks.

20 bucks?

I can't let you in. Sorry.

- $40.
- That's insulting.

Hey.

What the heck are you doing here?

You're invited?

No, he didn't invite me.
I have a gig.

He's paying me ten grand to do a set.

- What?
- It's a piece of cake.

- Are you the special guest?
- Yeah, so what?

- What's the big deal?
- Are you kidding?

- It's $10,000.
- He's giving you $10,000?

- Yeah, so what?
- So what? That's my money.

I'm paying for you.
You're my money.

What do you mean
I'm your money?

Don't you understand?
I gave him $10,000.

He's giving it to you so I own you!

This is not San Quentin.
I have a gig for Christ...

No, I don't care.
You're not going in!

Why are you taking this so personally?

This is just business!

No, it's not business.
What are you doing?

- You're not going in there.
- I am going in there.

- Don't tell me what to do.
- No, you're not going in.

- Aah. Aah.
- Hey, what's your...

Oh, come on.

I hit you in the thigh, you big baby.

Long balls.

- Long balls.
- Long balls.

Lakers down by
two with seconds remaining.

He drives up the lane.

Blocked, rebound Lakers...

Blocked, re...

...lane, blocked, re...

Lakers... Lakers... Lakers...

Lakers...