All language subtitles for Curb.Your.Enthusiasm.S05E07.The.Seder.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

Morning!

Need some help?

Be great.
That'd be great.

Okay.

Hey, I'll do it.
Don't worry about it. Relax.

- I got it.
- Nice, thank you.

- What is this, grape juice?
- Yes, grape juice.

- You guys drink grape juice?
- Sure we do.

- It's a great antioxidant.
- Come on over and have some.

You never see, you never see
people drinking grape juice.

It's delicious.
You'd love it.

I think it's a very underrated juice.

It is!

I wonder why more people don't buy it.

[Ethel] Larry. Larry.

Did you know that a sex offender
moved into the neighborhood?

Yeah, I saw his picture on a flyer.

I know, it's terrible!

Yeah, he's a bald guy, too.

- Bald guy.
- Yeah, a bald guy.

It's very bad for the bald community.

Oh, Larry.

What's very bad for the community

is that he's a sex offender.

But, I know, as long as he's
gonna be a sex offender

I wish he had a full head of hair.

- That's all.
- Oh, Larry!

Hey, let me ask you a question.

Have you, uh, have you guys

been getting your newspaper?

Yeah, yeah.

- You have?
- Yes.

Hmm. I haven't gotten
my paper in six days.

I did see somebody walk
up your walkway there...

- Pick up your newspaper--
- What?!

But I figured maybe it was
somebody that you knew

because he had on a suit.

A guy in a suit is taking my paper?

That's why she thought it
might be a friend of yours.

- The guy was well-dressed.
- Jesus! That's crazy!

[Ethel] Well, you know.

A guy in a suit is taking my newspaper?

Well, a suit's a good cover if
a guy's gonna steal a paper.

If you saw him again,
would you know him?

Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty
sure I'd know him.

A guy in a suit?
Huh?

- Makes no sense.
- Stealing papers?

- Makes no sense.
- I know.

I don't get it.
I don't get it at all.

What's the motivation there?

Guy in a suit's gotta be
able to afford a paper.

Yeah. Hey, are you coming
to Passover Seder?

- Cheryl's doing a Seder, huh?
- Yeah, for my father.

Does she know what she's doing?

- I don't know, she'll find out.
- A little problem.

Susie's sister's in town

which means my brother-in-law's in town

which means that their kid's in town

and my brother-in-law is a little...

- He's a conservative?
- He's a conservative.

Your brother-in-law's a conservative?

Big time.
Big-time conservative.

Well, do you want to
bring him to the Seder?

- Yeah.
- Fine I don't care.

- Alright.
- Okay.

- I'll talk to you later.
- Alright, very good.

- Thanks for lunch!
- Sure.

These machines
are really finicky.

Yeah, let me give you a hand with that.

- Uh... No, no, no, no.
- No, let me help you out.

No, I don't even care.
I'm not... You know what?

- I don't even care.
- No, let me get this.

I know how to do it.
I got the touch.

I don't even need to read it.

Watch watch, watch, watch.

I just know how to do it.
I know this machine.

Go ahead.

You want one?

Uh, yeah, but I'll close it again

and pay for it, because,
you know... It's just...

Oh, okay.

- Okay, well--
- Yeah.

- Thanks a lot.
- Hey, I'm sorry, you're...

You're Larry David, right?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Uh, I'm sorry to bother you like this.

I never, ever do this.

But, you know, I'm sort of
new to the neighborhood

and uh, I'm a huge "Seinfeld" fan.

- No kidding?
- Yeah, the biggest.

- Seriously? Get out of here.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, seriously.

No, I'm, probably the biggest
"Seinfeld" fan ever.

What a great show.
I miss it. I miss it!

"Puffy Shirt" is my favorite episode.

You know what?

- I love that show.
- Really?

That's one of my favorite episodes.

Yeah, it's great.
It's great.

How did you guys come up
with the low talker?

Well, I mean, it was pretty
easy to come up with.

I was out to dinner with one.

And then you, and then you write
it and you put it on the TV

Yeah, yeah.

It's just...
I'm not an artist, you know?

So it's interesting to see how
an artist like yourself works.

Well, that's very nice of you.
Thank you.

Oh, it's incredible.
It's really, really an honor.

Oh, my God.
Thank you so much, thank you.

I'm Rick Leftowitz.
Great to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.

Welcome to the neighborhood.

Thank you.

Oh, boy, look at the Jew girl.

- I am so Jewish right now.
- Holy cow!

Where did you learn how to do this?

Well, Susie's been coaching
me through it all.

- She has?
- Yeah.

Do you even know what
this thing is called?

This is a, uh... charoses.

Very good.

It's a lot like ambrosia, except--

I wish my mother were alive to
hear you say that word out loud.

Yeah, I wish my mother
could hear me say...

My mother would flip if she
knew I was doing this.

- Looks good.
- Thank you.

I mean, I'm trying.
I-I, um...

It seems like a lot of
trouble you people

go through for this.
You know what I mean?

"You people"? I don't know
if I like that so much.

- You Jews, is that better?
- That's better, yeah.

Okay, I feel like
I've been cutting apples

for, like, two hours.

Okay, hey, you know what?

Marla and Mark got back together.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Ohh.
- I know.

Good for them.
Good for them!

I thought you'd be happy to hear that.

That's nice. That's nice.
When did this happen?

About a week ago, and he moved
back in with her and--

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Wow.
- And they're coming tomorrow.

- You know who else is coming?
- Who?

Jeff asked me if he could
bring his in-laws.

Oh, I know, I know.
I talked to Susie.

Jeez, you know what
I just realized?

Huh?

I never followed through on my
Christmas present to Mark.

Remember I got him a
subscription to "The Times"?

- "The New York Times."
- Yeah.

And then he and Marla broke up

and I... You know, I don't know,
I kinda forgot about it.

So you just didn't give him his gift?

Yeah.

Because he broke up with his girlfriend?

Well, it's... Yeah.

I don't see the point to it.

No, you just thought that you
wouldn't have to worry about it

and you wouldn't see him
again, so who cares?

- Oh, my God.
- What?

I'll bet you Mark...

I'll bet you Mark is the guy
who's taking the paper.

No, think about it, seriously.
Lis... Think about it.

I can't believe it.
Mark is stealing the paper.

- No...
- Holy shit!

Don't you see?
Look! He just...

How-how long have we not
been getting it, six days?

He just moved he moved back
in with her a week ago.

You just said that, right?

Who else, who else would
be doing it? It's him.

Mark is not stealing our newspaper.

- No?
- That is the most ridiculous--

- I don't think so.
- Oh, I think so.

Larry, he's a doctor.

I think he could afford the paper

if he wants to get a paper.

Yeah, but not if he's
upset with somebody

who promised him a gift for Christmas

and never followed through on it.

That is so ridiculous.

It's not ridiculous.
It makes perfect sense.

You know, because I spoke to...

Hey, you know...

- You know what we should do?
- What?

We should invite, we should
invite Mac and Ethel.

We should invite them for
Seder, don't you think?

You want to invite
Ethel and Mac?

I had no idea you liked
Mac and Ethel so much.

Well, you don't understand because
you're not Jewish, okay?

- Oh, it's a Jewish thing.
- But it's a Jewish thing.

It's sort of like a tradition, you know?

Invite the cranky neighbors who--

Well, if Jews don't have
any place to go for Seder

you're supposed to invite them.

Come on.

Come on.
Invite 'em.

[Rick] Hey, Larry.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Rick. Rick, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Rick, uh-huh.

From the, uh... Hey, let
me give you a hand here.

- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.

- Oh, thank you.
- How are you?

Oh, pretty good.
Pretty good.

I should have taken one of those
carts, you know, but I'm...

- Yeah, I know.
- Look, it's downhill.

I'm worried it'll just hit a car

and I'll get in a lawsuit or something.

- Who the hell knows?
- I know, I know.

Hey, what do you got there?

Oh, my four iron.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

You play golf?

Uh, yeah, and I eat and I breathe.

In that order.

- Yeah, me, too.
- Yeah, really?

- Absolutely, yeah.
- Wow, wow.

Anyway, I replaced the four iron...

- Uh-huh.
- With a nine wood.

I can't hit it anymore.

Um, well, you know what?
I would love...

I would love to help you.

Oh, come on.
Nobody could help me.

- Nobody!
- Oh, yeah, no...

People have tried before.
It can't be done.

- Look, I'm...
- Can't be done Rick.

I've been golfing for a long time.

I'm fairly good.

Yeah, in my backyard

I have this setup that
you won't believe.

I've got a net.
I've got a tee.

Get the hell out of here!
Really?

- And I've got a camera.
- A camera?

And you shoot yourself swinging

and then you analyze your
swing frame-by-frame.

What are you doing now?

- Nothing.
- Alright, let's go.

Right now?
Okay, where's your car?

Uh, I don't have one.

- Okay, I'll... I'll take you.
- Okay.

You want some Cheetos for the trip, huh?

- Yeah, why not?
- Yeah.

Great.

Alright, this is gonna be fun.

I love golf.

Huh?

- Huh? Huh?
- Oh, my God!

Did you see the whole thing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Come here. Come here.
Look at this.

Now watch it in slow-motion, okay?

Look at that.

See, you're bringing your hips through.

You know what, it doesn't even look...

- Who is that? Is that me?
- It's you! It's you!

That doesn't even look like me.

It's you. Look, look, I want
to freeze it right here.

- Wait, right there.
- Oh, my God.

Look at your hips, right here.

Yeah, no, I see.
It's perfect.

I-I can't believe it.

A-plus.
My best student of the day.

Good work. Okay.

Alright.
Great.

Unreal. Huh!

Listen, anytime, anytime.

I'm completely spent.

- It's my pleasure.
- Fantastic.

That was great.
That was just great.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Could not have been better.

Hey, what are you doing for Passover?

Oh, uh... oh just having
some people over.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah, what are you doing?

Nothing, nothing.
Totally free.

You want to come to my house?

- No.
- Really?

- Oh!
- Uh, uh, alright.

Okay, okay.

- Huh? Yeah?
- Great, great.

- You don't-you don't have to.
- No, that sounds great.

I mean, I'm...
I got nothing else to do.

- You sure?
- Yeah, of course.

Thank you. Yeah,
I'll, uh, I'll bring latkes.

- Okay.
- Great, great.

I'll see you then.
I'm gonna hit a few.

Uh...

Okay.

[Cheryl] What took you so
long? Where were you?

Well, I met sort of a new friend.

He's, uh he's kind of new in town

and we-we got to talking.

And he's a golf nut, okay?

Took me to his backyard.
He's got a net.

What a setup this guy...
My life is changed.

Today, changed, irrevocably.

And you just started
talking to a stranger?

Yeah, kind of, well, you
know, he's a "Seinfeld..."

He knew me from "Seinfeld,"
and, you know, he's...

- A fan?
- Yeah, kind of.

And, uh, he's gonna be alone on Passover

and, uh, I kind of invited
him to the Seder.

I hope you don't mind.

- You did?
- Yeah, I'm sorry.

- No, that's okay.
- Really?

- Well, if he's alone.
- Oh, aren't you a doll?

- Thanks, honey. Thank you.
- Well, that's cute.

I'm glad you made a new friend.

- Yeah, okay, yeah.
- That's nice.

I don't hear that very often from you.

Oh, um, and I forgot to mention

it's that-that sex offender.

What?

You know, we saw that
picture on the flyer

of that sex offender guy.
That's-that's him. He's cool.

You invited a sex
offender over for Seder?

Are you out of your mind?

Well, it was kind of an awkward moment.

[Cheryl] What is wrong with you, Larry?

You don't do something like
that without asking me!

You do not invite a sex
offender over for dinner

without talking to me first!

We're not having a sex
offender over for dinner, no!

You need to call him and say no.

Cheryl, what would Jesus do?

- Oh.
- Huh?

- Cheryl, Cheryl.
- No, no!

Cheryl, he's a Jew.
He's a Jew!

This is a fact.
This is like numbers, okay?

Have you heard of the theory, the 77?

- No.
- Okay.

Every 77 years

there's a great president.

Washington and then

you go 77 years, Lincoln.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, really?

77 years there's, uh...

What's that guy's name?

- Theodore Roosevelt?
- FDR.

And then another 77 years, you got W.

And then I think we're
in historic times.

Mm-hmm, Washington,
Lincoln, FDR.

- And W.
- And George W. Bush.

That's right.

And we're turning the
whole damn world around.

Jake, did you remember
to call your mother?

What?

Did you remember to call your mother?

We were supposed to call her before...

[Jake] I told my mother I would

call her after the Seder.

Oh, no, you said before.

After the Seder.

- Hey.
- Hey, Larry.

- How's it going, Mark?
- Doing well, doing well.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- How's the doctor?
- Doing well.

- Busy.
- Oh, yeah.

Real busy.
You know, just kinda...

Things are booming right now, you know?

Nice to see you and Marla back together.

She's great.
She's great.

Yeah, what happened?

You couldn't cut it in in your

single life there?

Couldn't get any dates

so you went back?

- That's funny.
- Huh?

Part of the perk of being a doctor.

- It's not hard to get dates.
- Oh, really?

Get to see a lot of women naked?

Cosmetic surgeon.
Seen my fair share.

- Really?
- Yeah.

You ever get aroused?

I don't think that's really
an appropriate question.

- Really, why not?
- Well, you know, it's just...

It's sort of a personal thing, you know?

I don't want to discuss
something like that.

The answer of course is no.
I'm a professional.

People come to me for help.
I help them.

I understand.

Tell me if you think this is
an appropriate question.

Hmm?

And I mean no disrespect.

Have you been stealing my newspaper?

Larry...

Yes, that is an inappropriate question.

Okay, so that's two
inappropriate questions. But--

I have not been stealing
your newspaper, Larry.

That's appalling.

Really?

Yeah, really, Larry.

I'm-I'm quite sure
I haven't been taking it.

Are you positive, Mark?

Okay.

Now if you'll excuse me.

So what did you think
of my brother-in-law?

- Whoa.
- Uh-huh.

- Man.
- Big time.

- Wow.
- Wow.

What?

- Your sister's husband.
- Man, oh, man.

- Ugh.
- He's nauseating.

He's quite a piece of work, that guy.

He's quite a piece of work.

Who else is coming?

Oh, there's somebody right now.

- Hey, there he is.
- Somebody order latkes?

Look at this. Boy, oh, boy.

- Yeah. How are ya?
- Great. How you doing?

- Very good.
- Good to see you.

- Yeah, this is nice.
- Oh, yeah?

Let me introduce you to
some of my friends here.

- The guests.
- Okay, great.

Hi.

This is Marla.

Hi, Marla.
Nice to meet you. Rick.

Nice to meet you, too.

And this is my wife, Cheryl.

Oh, it's lovely to meet you.
You have a wonderful home.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- I made latkes.
- Oh.

- Yeah.
- latkes.

Thank you. That was--

Yeah, my mother's recipe.

They smell good.

Hey, this guy completely
changed my life.

I'm telling you.

I can't even believe the way I hit

the ball now on account of him.

Yeah, just wait till
I'm done with him.

Different man altogether.

I can't wait.

- Nice to meet you.
- Mm-hmm.

Come on over here.

This here is Jeff.

- You are?
- This is Rick Leftowitz.

- Rick. Nice meeting you, Rick.
- Nice meeting you.

- This is Susie.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- His wife Susie.

And that's Sammy.

Somebody drop a cute bomb in here?

Oh, hey, and this is my dad.

[Rick] Oh, it is an honor
to meet you, sir.

[Nat] Nice to meet you.

- This is Carol.
- Hi, Carol.

- Very nice to meet you.
- Rick. Nice to meet you.

- This is Emily and Jacob.
- Jacob.

Can I talk to you a second?

Yeah, yeah, excuse me for one second.

What the hell are you
trying to pull, Larry?

- What?
- Do you know who that guy is?

He had nowhere to go.
What'd you want me to do?

I don't give a shit where he goes.

I think it's gonna be a big
addition to this Passover.

- Addition in what way?
- He's got a good personality.

He's smart.
He's funny.

He should not be in our
presence on a holy day.

Any day!
What the hell are you doing?

- Larry.
- Hello, hello.

- Hi.
- How are you?

Pretty good. Good.
Good to see you.

- I'm glad you came.
- Oh, so are we. Thank you.

Everybody parked in front of my house.

Everybody here, except the kids.

- Shh-shh-shh.
- Yeah, so-so what?

- So what?
- Yeah.

Are you going out tonight?

I think you're here, aren't you?

- Yeah.
- Alright. What's the problem?

Everybody's got the car
parked in front of my...

Same thing, every time
you have a party--

Alright, I'm sorry.

- I'll inform them next time.
- Please.

- Ethel.
- Hi.

Hi how are you?

Oh, it was so nice of you to invite us.

Oh, my pleasure.

Ethel, what I want you to do is

I want you to take a look around

this room here, okay

and just see if there's
anybody who you recognize.

- Okay?
- Oh, sure.

Alright, would you do that for me?

- Sure.
- Take a look around.

Okay, gently.
Gently, guys.

Let's put her here on the bed.

Okay, let's... There.

Let me just check her.

I think I hurt my back lifting her up.

Her pulse is okay.
She's breathing fine.

- Does this happen often?
- Well, yeah.

You know every once in a while

something startles her.

How long is she going
to be out like this?

- A couple hours.
- A couple of hours?

- Yeah.
- What, are you kidding?

Just a... You know, she'll sleep it off

and she'll be fine.

Oh, good.

Everybody have a nice big swig of wine.

Hey, guess what.

Okay, get ready, kids.

You know what's in here?
Matzah.

And I'm gonna hide this, and
you've got to go find it.

And whoever finds the Matzah
is gonna get a dollar.

- Ohh!
- Okay, a dollar!

Alright, now go into the kitchen.

Go in the kitchen.

Close your eyes.
Don't look.

Cover your ears.
Okay, I'm gonna hide it now.

Don't look!

Okay, kids, you can come
look for the Matzah now.

- So, Larry.
- Yeah?

Any luck in finding the guy

that's been stealing your newspaper?

No.

No luck at all.

You know, for those of you who
don't know, I'm sure you don't

somebody's been stealing my newspaper...

- Yeah.
- For an entire week.

Yes, every day.

[Mac] I tell you something

my wife, she got a good look at him.

I mean, a really good look.

If she ever sees him again,
she'll recognize him.

- Really?
- She'll know that face.

She never forgets a face.

Is something wrong, doctor?

Excuse me, uh, no.
Just some gefilte fish.

Hmm.

Well, hopefully, she'll wake up soon

and come down and join us
for the rest of the Seder.

Wouldn't that be nice, everybody?

- Yeah.
- Yes, yes.

That would be wonderful!
Wonderful!

Hey, there's no Matzah here.
Let's go, beat it.

Come on, pfft, beat it.

[Larry] Well, I've, uh

just seen Ethel.

She's coming around.
She should be down soon.

[Nat] That's nice. That's nice.

[Larry] Huh? Isn't that good news?

- Yeah.
- What is all the...

That all that sound, that noise

the racket we all heard upstairs?

Oh, my foot fell asleep so I was
kind of jumping up and down

to get the blood circulating again.

I hate when that happens, right?

Foot fell asleep.

Something wrong, doctor?

For Pete's sake, I've...

I've been paged by the hospital.
It must be an emergency.

Oh, my gosh!
Oh, it's a doctor emergency.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't hear anything, doctor.

- I keep my pager on vibrate...
- Oh, do you?

- For medical emergencies, yes.
- Uh-huh.

Thank you so much for having me.

- It was great to meet you.
- No, it was so nice...

Aren't you a cosmetic surgeon?

Yes, we have emergencies
in that field as well.

You know, it's too bad.
Ethel's coming down soon.

She's really gonna be upset that
she didn't get to meet you.

I'll meet her another time,
I'm sure. Thank you.

Marla, I'm sorry.
I'll see you at home.

Alright,
I'll see you at home, honey.

- Love you.
- Found it!

What?

- Stevie!
- He found the Matzah!

[Larry] In a hurry, doctor?

As I explained, I've been
paged by my hospital.

Yes, I know.
Emergency boob job, no doubt.

I've been paged for a medical emergency

because I am a doctor.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.
You're a doctor.

Yes, yes, of course, you're a doctor.

It's a medical situation.

You're lucky that old lady fainted.

I don't... I don't know
what you're talking about.

You took that paper.
I know you did.

I'm a doctor, you idiot!

Gut yontif.

- Hey, Larry.
- Hey, buddy, what's up?

Can I talk to you for a second?

Sure, what's up?

Um, this is really hard.

I, uh...

I'm in the throes of a
moral quandary right now

and I don't know what to do.

Okay, um,
I'm not really the right...

- I'm not a good person to--
- Oh, I think you are.

I think you're the perfect person.

- No, no, no.
- But that's my problem.

What you need to see is a doctor

or a psychiatrist, a counselor--

A doctor? No, no, no.

I'm-I'm-I'm clear on what I'm torn about

my allegiance to you as a friend

and not wanting to ruin the party.

Uh, but I saw something very shocking

and I think I-I feel like
I have to tell you.

What-what's going on?

Well, I saw Mr. Dunkle
whisper in his son's ear

and then the boy went right
over and found the Matzah.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, because he saw me hiding it.

We made eye contact.
He saw it.

Well, there you go.
Sorry.

Yeah, okay.

- I'll take it from here.
- Okay.

When am I gonna get my dollar?

Oh, yeah, your dollar.

That's right.

Let me ask you a question, Stevie.

I noticed that you went
to the bookcase once.

What made you go back
there a second time?

Hey, look, look, he found
the Matzah, pay up.

No, I'm just trying to find out

why he went back to the
bookcase a second time.

There's no need for a third degree.

The boy found the afikomen.

Just pay him the dollar.

How come you went back, Stevie?

Look, stop it!
He found the Matzah.

Pay up. That's that!

- He found the Matzah?
- Yeah!

'Cause you told him where it was hidden.

- That is a lie!
- Didn't you?

- Didn't you?
- That is a lie!

You don't know anything.
How would you know that?

- How do I know?
- How would you know?

My friend told me, that's how I know!

He saw you whisper in your son's ear

and then watched as he
ran to the bookcase

and got the Matzah.

Oh, your friend the convicted

sex offender!

You take his word over me?

You have no idea--

What's the matter with you?

[Dunkle] You and your sick buddy!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

There's something wrong with Sammy.

Sammy, Sammy, get up, get up.

Come on, come on.
What's the matter, honey?

She can't breathe.
She can't breathe.

Does anyone know mouth-to-mouth?

Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!

Give her some air.

I do.