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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,475 So then he goes like this. 2 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:20,270 I go, "What is it, dad?" and he goes, goes like this. 3 00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:23,065 He can't talk. He's, he's in the hospital in the bed. 4 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,691 You know... Ah. 5 00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:28,487 So I lean in, and he whispers in my ear. 6 00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:30,656 And he says to me... 7 00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:33,325 "...You're adopted." 8 00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:36,745 - He said that. - I think he said that. 9 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,205 Maybe he said, "You're a doctor." 10 00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,498 I don't know. 11 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:40,832 But why would he say I'm a doctor? 12 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:42,251 I would know if I'm a doctor. 13 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,503 Why do you think he would wait until now to tell you? 14 00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,088 Maybe he thought he was dying. 15 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,507 I'm still not 100% sure that he said it. 16 00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,050 So basically what you're saying is 17 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,719 you want me to find out if you're adopted or not. 18 00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:54,805 Yes. 19 00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:56,598 First, how did you find me? 20 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,517 My friend said he read this big article 21 00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,769 about you in the "LA Magazine." 22 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:04,147 "Best, best private investigator in Los Angeles." 23 00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:07,484 Look, Mr. David, I have to be honest with you. 24 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:09,944 My business and what I do 25 00:01:10,069 --> 00:01:11,947 what I do is I service the community. 26 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,615 And basically what I'm saying is 27 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,075 I don't see a way that you would, uh 28 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:17,953 be helping my community. 29 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,080 What about, uh 30 00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:21,790 calling some bingo games or something? 31 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,959 You got, you got like, a community center for bingo? 32 00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:26,461 Bingo's a distraction. 33 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,922 Don't underestimate bingo. 34 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,676 I've got extra sneakers that I don't wear anymore 35 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,511 in pretty good condition, I must say. 36 00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:35,637 Extra sneakers. 37 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,222 I'd be more than happy to donate 'em. 38 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:40,475 Mr. David, I don't-I don't think this is gonna work. 39 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,102 It would mean an awful lot to me. 40 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,687 Please, please think about it 41 00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:45,313 and if there's anything I can do 42 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,941 to convince you, I-I-I would. 43 00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:49,359 Can't promise anything. 44 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,236 What about a Big Brother kind of thing? 45 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,740 Let me talk to some of my community leaders 46 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,074 and see exactly what the community needs-- 47 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:58,785 Okay. I'm not talking about for a long time. 48 00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:01,204 Maybe for one afternoon 49 00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:02,706 to a movie or something. 50 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,835 Um, is that a key to the men's room? 51 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,838 It says "men" on it, yes. 52 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,841 It's a natural question to ask. 53 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,343 - Yes. - May I-may I borrow the key? 54 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,678 - Yes, you may borrow the key. - Thank you. 55 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,347 Okay. Thanks, thanks, Mr. Jones. 56 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,681 - A-and you'll think about it? - I will. 57 00:02:20,806 --> 00:02:23,310 By the way... love the bow tie. 58 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:39,242 - What are you doing? - Using the bathroom. 59 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:41,787 That's my stall! Did you see t-the placard on th-- 60 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:44,373 Yes, I know, but somebody was using the other one, so I-- 61 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,041 Well, then you wait! 62 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:49,627 I couldn't wait. It was an emergency. I had to go! 63 00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:51,046 There's one stall for me, and you're in it! 64 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,381 You know, if you were here 65 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:53,632 I would have given you first dibs. 66 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:55,092 But honestly, I haven't seen 67 00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:57,177 a handicapped person in the bathroom, maybe ever. 68 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,513 So I thought I could perhaps take my chances. 69 00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:01,723 "A handicapped person?" 70 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,226 That's nice. Oh, that's nice! 71 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,227 It's called disabled. Disabled. 72 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:06,061 Disabled. 73 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,938 Well, that doesn't sound so hot. 74 00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:09,940 I don't really care what it sounds like to you, okay? 75 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,441 It's disabled. 76 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,401 I think I would prefer handicapped. 77 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,237 God you know how archaic that word is? 78 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,488 "A handicapped person?" 79 00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:17,906 That's, like demeaning. Don't you know? 80 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,324 - I'm a disabled person. - Oh, sorry. 81 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,659 - "You're sorry." - Oh, sorry. 82 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,160 Now you've learned a lesson. 83 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,912 Please, don't ever go in my stall again! 84 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,330 - Alright? - Fine, okay. 85 00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,707 - Thanks so much! - You're welcome. 86 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,041 - I appreciate it. - You're welcome. 87 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:29,251 Douche bag. 88 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,842 So you think he's a Muslim? 89 00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:39,052 - He had the bow tie. - Huh? 90 00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:41,972 Do black men who aren't Muslims ever wear bow ties? 91 00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:43,890 I haven't seen it. 92 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,183 It'd be interesting to find that out. 93 00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,476 I'm surprised you didn't ask him. 94 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:47,894 Yeah, me too, I mean, you know 95 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:49,563 I don't care either way. I'm just curious. 96 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:52,607 Well, I'll tell you something, I think he's a Muslim. 97 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,818 [Larry] Hey, that's a, that's a handicap spot. 98 00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,157 W-W-What? 99 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:01,908 What's with the walking? 100 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,286 F-f-f-fuck you. 101 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:06,246 I have a s-s-stutter. 102 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:08,749 Yeah, but you can walk. 103 00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:11,918 Look at my I-I-license p-p-plate. 104 00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:13,837 I have p-p-permission 105 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:16,130 you fucking p-p-prick. 106 00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:28,310 Oh, hey... 107 00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:30,729 We got a dog. 108 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,814 Really? Why? 109 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,399 She wanted a dog. 110 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:35,650 You have to walk it and everything? 111 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,027 I'm sure I'll wind up doing stuff. 112 00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:38,487 Oh, you're gonna definitely be doing stuff. 113 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,113 Yeah, but you know what? It's kind of cute. 114 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,115 - Larry! - I kind of like it. Hi! 115 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,742 - Hi! - Jodi! 116 00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,368 - How are you? - Great, great. 117 00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:47,829 - So good to see you! - Great to see you. 118 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,539 - Hi, Jodi. - Hi. 119 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:50,665 - How are you doing? - How are you doing? 120 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,293 Ms. Jodi Funkhouser? 121 00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,003 - So what's going on? - Ah, nothing. 122 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,880 Seeking attention, getting rejected. 123 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,130 Are those new glasses? 124 00:04:58,255 --> 00:05:01,343 - No, but I cleaned 'em. - You're so funny! 125 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:02,886 - I'm here with my dad. - Oh yeah? 126 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,346 Are you, uh, are you coming 127 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,681 to my parents' 25th anniversary party? 128 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,016 I am. 129 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,601 - Oh. Are you? - Eh. 130 00:05:10,726 --> 00:05:12,312 It'll be fun, really. Think about it. 131 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,564 I'm not gonna think about it, but whatever. 132 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,107 - I really hope you come. - Well, thanks. 133 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,609 - It's so good to see you. - Good to see you. 134 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,569 - Wow, great to see you. - Yeah. 135 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,154 - Bye-bye. - Bye. 136 00:05:23,113 --> 00:05:25,116 Alright, is it my imagination? 137 00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:27,827 D-does she like you that much or does she dislike me that much? 138 00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:31,706 Oh, lesbians love me. They love me. 139 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:32,707 How is that? 140 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,251 Well, when I first got to LA, you remember... 141 00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:35,585 You know Patty, my friend Patty. 142 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,921 - Patty, yeah. Yes. - Well, she's a lesbian. 143 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,755 You know, so, obviously, they talk amongst themselves 144 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:43,260 and the word got out that I'm a friend o' lesbians. 145 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:46,513 - You're a friend o' lesbians! - Yes, they know that. 146 00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:48,265 So the community has completely embraced you. 147 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:51,726 [Larry] Totally embraced me. Completely. 148 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,728 More so than any other community. 149 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,647 Including Jews. 150 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,732 - Hi, two. Yeah. - Ready? This way. 151 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,903 Oh, jeez. 152 00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:07,117 The men's room key from the private investigator's office. 153 00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:10,327 - I forgot to bring it back. - I'm always doing that. 154 00:06:10,452 --> 00:06:14,124 [Larry] Hey, check out the bow tie here. 155 00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:15,916 It's a smart look. 156 00:06:16,041 --> 00:06:18,003 I think I'm gonna get me one of those. 157 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:20,005 You know what, you oughta try wearing a bow tie. 158 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,130 It'd be a good look for you. 159 00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:22,214 - Hi! - Hi. 160 00:06:22,339 --> 00:06:23,633 How are you doing? How are you doing? 161 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,510 Hey, thanks for sending the invite back. 162 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,428 - Oh well, sure. I'm excited. - We're gonna have a blast. 163 00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:29,431 It's gonna be... Are you coming? 164 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:30,974 - Eh... - Tell me you're coming. 165 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,392 - Please. - I don't know. 166 00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:34,311 Twenty-five years of marriage! 167 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,313 - Rosie's coming. - Rosie O'Donnell? 168 00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:39,690 And I have Larry David's place card right next to hers. 169 00:06:39,815 --> 00:06:41,943 Really? You're sitting me next to her? 170 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,446 - You know Rosie O'Donnell? - I know her from New York. 171 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:45,779 We used to hang out together doing comedy. 172 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:46,698 You'll have a great time. 173 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,659 Just send the invitation back, okay? 174 00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,036 I'll see you guys there. I'm excited. 175 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,038 By the way Jodi's really looking good. 176 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:54,497 - She does look great. - Doesn't she look great? 177 00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:55,916 Oh, thanks a lot, yeah. 178 00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,959 She's dating a guy. I think it's serious. 179 00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:02,005 - She's dating a guy? - Yeah she's no longer gay. 180 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:05,175 What? You're kidding! 181 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,177 That's fantastic! 182 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:09,346 Congratulations! Good for you. 183 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:11,890 She's not a lesbian anymore. 184 00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,351 Oh, my God. Good going. 185 00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:16,895 Alright, I'll-I'll see you soon. 186 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,313 Yeah, I'll see you at the party. 187 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,410 Larry, we need to talk. 188 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:36,498 It's over? 189 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:39,084 What's over? 190 00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:41,795 The marriage? 191 00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:45,423 Why would our marriage be over? 192 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:49,010 You said we need to talk. 193 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,554 Yeah, we need to talk about Marty Funkhouser's party. 194 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,848 Oh, okay. 195 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,976 I thought... Ah, forget it. 196 00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:57,560 No, no, no, what'd you think? 197 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:03,066 Well, you know, you said we need to talk. 198 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:05,402 Generally when couples break up, that's how they introduce it. 199 00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:08,071 You know, "we need to talk," so I just thought it was... 200 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,990 Well, why would you... 201 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,574 Why would you even think that? 202 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,827 Well, because women have broken up with me many times 203 00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:16,246 and they've always introduced it with "we need to talk" 204 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:19,332 so I'm just sort of conditioned for that response. 205 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,793 A-and when women broke up with you 206 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,337 did you light up like that? 207 00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:26,047 - Light up? - Yeah. 208 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:29,342 - Did I light up? - Oh. "It's over?" 209 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,136 You know, it could have been a defense mechanism. 210 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,929 That's how I react to things. 211 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,223 I go the other way so I don't get hurt. 212 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,309 I protect myself. You understand. 213 00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:40,437 What, so what about the-the party? Marty Funk-- 214 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,522 Have you been thinking about this for a while? 215 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:45,734 No, not at all. No, of course not. 216 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:49,029 So what about the, the Funkhouser party? 217 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:52,323 Well, I wanted to know if we're going or not. 218 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,451 I need to send in the RSVP and... 219 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:57,078 I wasn't going, and now I've changed my mind. 220 00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:00,957 Rosie O'Donnell is going to be there, our table. 221 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,626 And you know what else? 222 00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:06,129 I might wear a bow tie. 223 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,673 - What do you think of that? - You're gonna wear a bow tie? 224 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,968 Are you loving that? Is that fantastic? 225 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:13,595 How about that for an idea? Huh? 226 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,054 I... will... 227 00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:17,432 [Larry] You're gonna love it. 228 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,601 - Well, look who's here. - Wanda! 229 00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,811 - Look who's here. - Welcome. 230 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,188 It's our new house. 231 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:24,564 - What do you think? - Well, what do you think? 232 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,607 - Oh, the rental house. - This is a rental. 233 00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:29,194 It's just for a few months until the renovation's done. 234 00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:30,403 You know. 235 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,989 Shit, I mean, you're renting, so I can be honest. 236 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,908 - Yeah, yeah. - I don't like it. 237 00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:37,910 - Kind of cold like a hotel. - Hotel? Hotels are good. 238 00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:40,080 You know, there's a lot of activity in the hotel lobby. 239 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,289 I think that's a good thing. 240 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,458 Why don't you put a little bellman's cap on 241 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,543 and run around, you know? 242 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,796 I'll put a little concierge desk over there. 243 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,214 Hey, Wanda, let me ask you a question. 244 00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:50,673 What? 245 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,842 Is it wrong to assume 246 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:56,679 that a black man wearing a bow tie is a Muslim? 247 00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:58,973 Why are you asking me some bullshit like that? 248 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,433 What the fuck, Larry? I'm not your... 249 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:02,684 I'm not your link into the black world, okay? 250 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:06,356 So stop asking me shit about black people and stuff, alright? 251 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:07,899 Okay, but let me ask you this. 252 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,360 Have you ever seen a black man 253 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,530 wearing a bow tie who's not a Muslim? 254 00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,030 Who gives a fuck? 255 00:10:15,155 --> 00:10:16,241 It's just something you may have observed. 256 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,659 - Have you observed... - Larry, I don't-- 257 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,328 Have you ever observed a black man 258 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,997 who's not a Muslim wearing a bow tie? That's all. 259 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,916 You think, uh, uh, Farrakhan went out and bought up 260 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,251 all the bow ties or something? 261 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:28,002 He's sitting there holding on to bow ties 262 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:31,131 and only Muslims get 'em? What the fuck, Larry? 263 00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,841 You, what, no. I don't know. 264 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,259 Fair enough. Good answer. 265 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,010 "I don't know." I totally accept it. 266 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,220 - I got the dog. - Where's the... 267 00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,388 That's what I want to see. 268 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:40,014 I know, you've got to see him. Sheriff! 269 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,475 Sheriff! Hello, boy! 270 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,684 [Wanda] He's a cutie! 271 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:50,191 - What the hell? - I think it's you, Wanda. 272 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,776 One of y'all wanna grab Cujo? 273 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:52,902 Um... 274 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,823 Come on, it's just Wanda. It's just Wanda. 275 00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:59,826 I'm sorry. He's very friendly. 276 00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:02,871 Uh, we're all done in there. 277 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,831 Just, uh, you have to wait overnight for the... 278 00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:07,125 Hey! Hey, little buddy. Come here. 279 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,793 [Wanda] What's wrong with your dog? 280 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,712 I don't know. See how friendly he is? 281 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,756 Good dog. He probably smells my dog. 282 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:16,759 Oh! 283 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,636 - Hey, shit! - Oh, my God! 284 00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:21,139 - God! - Hey, come on! 285 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:24,017 Get over here. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 286 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,645 What did you do? 287 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,814 - I'm r-I'm really sorry. - It's okay. 288 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,232 I don't know what's going on. 289 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,359 I've never seen him like this. 290 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:34,777 [Larry] I'm really sorry. 291 00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,821 You know, you know what's going on. 292 00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:38,823 - Huh? - You have a racist dog. 293 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,783 - That dog hates black people. - Wanda. 294 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,660 Larry, you trained the dog to hate black people? 295 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:44,746 No, I didn't train it to hate black people. 296 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,415 Has it-has it barked at any white people? 297 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,417 [Cheryl] No, he's, he's... 298 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,627 He hasn't barked at any white people. 299 00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:53,421 Exactly. Your dog is racist. 300 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,591 - Sheriff's racist? - Sheriff? 301 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,676 That's a perfect name for a racist dog. 302 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,929 Where'd you get this dog, t-the Klan meeting or somethin'? 303 00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,806 [Cheryl] Larry picked him out at the pound. 304 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:04,766 The pound. 305 00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:07,018 Sheriff the fucking dog that eats black people. 306 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,561 What the fuck, man? 307 00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:10,230 I tell you what, y'all stay here 308 00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,148 and pet your crazy-ass racist dog 309 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:15,443 but I am not bringing my black ass back up into this 310 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:20,365 fuckin' hotel until y'all get rid of that fuckin' Klan dog. 311 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,408 Got a Klan dog! 312 00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:25,203 Looking at me like I'm a damn T-bone. 313 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:27,789 - I'll call you. - Yeah, shut up. 314 00:12:38,131 --> 00:12:40,885 Okay, so we have three choices. 315 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,845 I'm sorry, the, uh the first thing we have 316 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,764 is a skirt steak... 317 00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,769 I-I-I can't hear. 318 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,105 I can't-I can't hear. Could you repeat that? What is that? 319 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,356 It's a skirt steak... 320 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,692 Uh, and that's... 321 00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:02,865 Excuse me. Excuse me. 322 00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,535 Excuse me, could you guys keep it down a little bit? 323 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,078 We can't hear the waiter. We're trying to order. 324 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,203 Keep it down? 325 00:13:08,328 --> 00:13:09,789 We're trying to hear the waiter. 326 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,332 I'm trying to have a good time with my family over here. 327 00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:12,500 We're try... You know what I mean? 328 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,294 I'm not keeping it down. I'm sorry. 329 00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:16,504 We need to keep it down for Tucker Carlson over here. 330 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:19,340 "Keep it down!" 331 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,679 - Tucker Carlson? - Tucker Carlson. 332 00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:28,891 There's a, there's a chicken rotisserie 333 00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:32,602 and a Portobello mushroom salad. 334 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:36,524 Yeah, well the Portobello is cut up onto mixed greens. 335 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:39,777 Sort of a sesame ginger, uh, dressing. 336 00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:40,903 Are you a vegetarian? 337 00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,780 - Yeah, it depends. - She is. 338 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:45,825 Okay. So that would sort of be the best choice. 339 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,201 It's really good. 340 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,535 [Jeff] I'm gonna get the skirt steak. 341 00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:50,078 Want me to order for you? 342 00:13:50,203 --> 00:13:51,873 - What do you want? - Get me the chicken. 343 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,041 Excuse me. 344 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:56,586 I'll, I'll have the Portobello. Yeah. 345 00:13:56,711 --> 00:14:00,465 - Hey, Sue. - What? 346 00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:03,926 - What's with the snub? - Oh, come on, Larry. 347 00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,470 You're acting like you don't know? 348 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:07,304 What? I don't know why... 349 00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:09,098 What? What did I do? 350 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,933 Alright, let me give you a clue, okay? 351 00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:13,561 It starts with a J and it ends with an I. 352 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,148 Jedi? 353 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,859 - You know, it's Jodi, okay? - What? 354 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,736 Wh-what did-what did you hear? 355 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,738 Well, I heard that you just got so excited 356 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,616 like you were so happy that she wasn't with women anymore. 357 00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:28,284 - Oh, that's ridiculous. - No, it's not ridiculous. 358 00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:29,619 No, I was happy for him. 359 00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:31,037 I don't know what's happened to you. 360 00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:32,538 I was happy for him. I wasn't really happy for him. 361 00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:33,956 I was pretending that I was happy for him. 362 00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:35,249 - Oh, really? - But it was... 363 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,085 That's all, I was just pretending. 364 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,753 - No, no, no, no. - No, it wasn't sincere. 365 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:39,879 I wasn't sincerely excited. 366 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:41,005 No, you're not being sincere now. 367 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,799 No, now I'm being sincere. 368 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:46,260 You know, the lesbian community used to revere you. 369 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,012 You used to be such a liberal guy, Larry. 370 00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:50,348 - I'm liberal! I am liberal. - No, you're not liberal. 371 00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,934 No. Look, look what you look like. Look at the bow tie. 372 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,186 The bow tie... I just tried out a bow tie, so what? 373 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,479 - Excuse me, excuse me. - What? 374 00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,106 You know what? I'm sorry. 375 00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,066 You know, don't even waste your time talking to this man. 376 00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:02,568 This man is a racist. 377 00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,570 He has a racist dog. 378 00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:07,073 He has a dog that attacks black people. 379 00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:10,827 Okay, I-I do... The dog is racist. 380 00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:12,161 But I didn't train him to be racist. 381 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,704 Larry, forget about it. 382 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,331 H-how do you know that? 383 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,583 Because we talk, Larry. 384 00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,592 Are you having fun or what? 385 00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,845 What did you tell Jodi? 386 00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:31,556 I told her you were just maybe a little over joyous 387 00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:34,016 at the fact that she was dating a boy. That's all I said. 388 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:35,852 All the-all the lesbians hate me now. 389 00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:37,812 - Oh, so it's my fault? - Yes, it is! 390 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,397 You celebrated! 391 00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,607 Because I was pretending to be happy for your benefit. 392 00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:43,151 - I don't need benefit. - You need benefit. 393 00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,236 - What do I need benefit for? - 'Cause you need benefit. 394 00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:46,487 I'm happy if Jodi's happy. 395 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,072 You're really over blowing this whole thing. 396 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,740 - I don't think so. - We're at a party. 397 00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:51,909 I don't like being snubbed by lesbians. It's not fair. 398 00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:54,036 - It's their prerogative. - I'm their biggest supporter. 399 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,079 You're their biggest supporter? 400 00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,581 Yes, I am. 401 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,124 T-they're in trouble, then. 402 00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,084 By the way, where's Rosie O'Donnell? 403 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,587 She's not here yet. 404 00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:04,213 Sure you invited her? 405 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,965 She'll be here. 406 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,508 When? 407 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,843 Soon. 408 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,067 Okay. 409 00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:29,071 Dan, Danny. 410 00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:30,698 Come over here. I want you to meet somebody. 411 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,575 This is Jodi's new boyfriend. This is Larry David. 412 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:33,743 - Hi, how are you? - How are you doing? 413 00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:34,827 - Hi. - How you are you? 414 00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:36,454 - Great. - Have a good time. 415 00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:37,914 Okay. 416 00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:38,998 Hey, by the way, you and Jodi 417 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,500 fantastic, great news. 418 00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:41,667 Yeah, yeah. 419 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,628 - Pretty good. - Yes, it is. 420 00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,880 Pretty, pretty 421 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:48,508 pretty, pretty good. 422 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:54,555 Terrific, and to have to overcome the whole situation 423 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,557 the whole sexual thing, you know? 424 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,310 Oh. Oh, there's nothing, nothing to overcome, really. 425 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,561 Well, you know, the fact that 426 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:03,439 she's been with women before you. 427 00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,191 I'd be really intimidated by that 428 00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:06,484 because, you know, we really-- 429 00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:07,568 Intimidated? 430 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,695 Well, because we don't know what we're doing 431 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,073 as much as the women know. You know, it's their equipment. 432 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,700 They own the equipment, so they know what to do with it. 433 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,244 You know what's going on down there? 434 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,913 - I don't have any idea. - I'd like to think I do. 435 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,958 That whole area is so mysterious to me, you know? 436 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,087 - I'm just saying it's-- - Well, I mean... 437 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,673 I'd be intimidated, I know that. 438 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,554 Yeah. 439 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:42,311 Oh, I always wondered, do you walk around 440 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:43,729 in your bikini at home? 441 00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:44,981 The way he talks, you'd think that-- 442 00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:48,901 Hey, um, I think I want to go home. 443 00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:50,528 Let's go home. 444 00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,613 No, we haven't even had dessert yet. 445 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,448 So what? We don't need dessert. Come on. 446 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,200 Well, it's rude. You stay for dessert. 447 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,578 Oh, so what? Dessert, it's no big deal. 448 00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:01,247 - You could just go, come on. - Why do you want to go home? 449 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:04,584 I need to use the bathroom. 450 00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:07,461 So go use the bathroom. 451 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,171 I don't want to use this bathroom. I want my own. 452 00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:10,464 - You know, I got-- - Why? 453 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,592 This project demands I get back to my base. 454 00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:14,635 I need my base. 455 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,762 - We're not going home-- - What's the matter? 456 00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:20,349 Larry wants to go home to use the bathroom. It's like... 457 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,810 Cheryl, what are you... You tell the whole table? 458 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,353 Why don't you stand up, make an announcement? 459 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,188 But you've never done that with me at lunch? 460 00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:27,648 It's the craziest thing in the world. 461 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:28,858 It's ridiculous. 462 00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:30,359 He can use this bathroom. 463 00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,111 - That's what-- - You know, y-you're a Gentile. 464 00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:33,863 You'll go in the middle of 5th Avenue. 465 00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:36,824 - It's different for Jews. - You're at an affair, Larry. 466 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,493 You cannot leave an affair before the dessert is served. 467 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,079 What is this dessert thing? We don't have to leave after 468 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:44,165 we can leave before dessert? 469 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,167 No, you do not leave before dessert. 470 00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,376 Who made this up? Where's this rule? 471 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:49,253 It's not a made-up... Everybody here seems to know 472 00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:50,671 but the rules don't apply to you? 473 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:52,214 What am I supposed to do? Sit here for another 474 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:53,715 four hours and be uncomfortable? 475 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,426 Should I go clean it for you before you go in there? 476 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,219 It's not even the... It's not even the cleanliness. 477 00:18:57,345 --> 00:19:00,263 We don't need to talk about your bathroom-- 478 00:19:00,388 --> 00:19:02,725 You're the one who's telling everybody in the whole place! 479 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,268 Just go. 480 00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,497 Hey, hey, where do you think you're going, pal? 481 00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:25,705 What are you doing? 482 00:19:25,830 --> 00:19:29,710 I'm g-g-g-going to the b-b-b-bathroom. 483 00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:36,676 I have a s-s-s-s-stutter, you p-p-p-pricks! 484 00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:38,511 - Stutter, my ass! - We've been waiting here! 485 00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:41,388 - You can walk. - Oh, alright, fine, okay. 486 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,934 Oh, your stutter's gone! 487 00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:46,811 Fucking prick, asshole. 488 00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,481 [Larry] Alright, that sounds good. 489 00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:53,150 Alright, I'll see you in about ten,15 minutes. 490 00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:55,111 Alright, great. Hey. 491 00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:56,946 I'll see you in a few hours. 492 00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,280 - Few hours? - Yeah. 493 00:19:58,406 --> 00:19:59,490 What are you talking about? Where are you going? 494 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:00,866 - I'm meeting Julie. - Huh? 495 00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:02,702 D-don't, don't forget to take the dog out. 496 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:05,246 [Larry] Hello. Out? W-What do you mean? 497 00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:06,830 Out for a walk or out with me? 498 00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:10,167 Hello, Mr. David. This is Omar Jones. 499 00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:11,335 Oh, hi. 500 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,420 I gotta tell you, Mr. David 501 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,422 I was thinking about taking the case 502 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:15,965 but I got a distressing call today 503 00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:18,426 about your behavior last night at the banquet. 504 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:19,885 What are you-what are you talking about? 505 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,595 [Omar on phone] According to one of the brothers 506 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,888 you said "Keep it down." 507 00:20:24,013 --> 00:20:26,225 No, no, all that happened was I was trying to order 508 00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,477 and I couldn't hear the waiter because some of your brothers 509 00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:31,939 were making too much noise at the next table, that's all. 510 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,607 H-how do you even know about this? 511 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,527 We talk, Mr. David. We talk. 512 00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:37,862 Huh. 513 00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,530 And what about my bathroom key? 514 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:40,573 I'm really sorry about that. 515 00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:42,157 I'm returning it today, I promise. 516 00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:44,076 Well, like I said, I'm gonna have to think about it. 517 00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:45,369 Thank you. 518 00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:58,758 How was everything? 519 00:20:58,883 --> 00:20:59,842 - Pretty good. - Great. 520 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:02,428 Do you want coffee, dessert, on the house? 521 00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:04,054 - On the house? - Yeah. 522 00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:06,682 I'll have a cupcake. 523 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:08,267 Yeah, I'll take a dessert on the house. 524 00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:10,394 - Okay. - Fabulous. Thank you. 525 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:11,979 Are those new glasses? 526 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,481 No, I just cleaned 'em. 527 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,691 It's nice to have you back, Larry. 528 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:22,156 You, my friend, are back in the lesbian bosom. 529 00:21:42,092 --> 00:21:43,469 Wow. 530 00:21:43,594 --> 00:21:46,013 - I'm back. - You are back. 531 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,890 By the looks of things, better than ever. 532 00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:53,521 But what... I wonder what... turned it around. 533 00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:58,651 Oh, dear. Uh-oh. 534 00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:02,112 - What? - What does Funkhouser want? 535 00:22:02,238 --> 00:22:04,198 I don't know. I'll be right back. 536 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:05,532 How did he even know I was here? 537 00:22:08,911 --> 00:22:11,413 What did you say to Dan? 538 00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:13,624 What did I... Hello, boy. 539 00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:16,377 - Did you meet Sheriff, my dog? - No, I didn't. 540 00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:18,796 I said, "Dan, this is Larry David." 541 00:22:18,921 --> 00:22:20,381 - Then I left you. - And I said hi. 542 00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:21,799 - I said hello. - Yeah, yeah. 543 00:22:21,924 --> 00:22:24,343 - I said, "Hi, Dan." - Yeah, what else? 544 00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:27,638 You know, a little small talk. "Hi, how are you doing? 545 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:29,056 Where are you from?" and all that. 546 00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:30,850 - That's it? - And then, what did I say? 547 00:22:30,975 --> 00:22:35,813 I said, "It must be hard, as a guy, to follow..." 548 00:22:35,938 --> 00:22:38,190 Why didn't you just say, "Hello, Dan, I'm Larry?" 549 00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:39,608 - I said that after hi. - "Nice to meet you." 550 00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:41,569 I said hi, and then I said that. 551 00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:43,988 - What is wrong with you? - Problem? 552 00:22:44,113 --> 00:22:46,866 Yeah, problem. Now she's back with a woman. 553 00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:51,787 No wonder why they're all being so nice to me in there. 554 00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:54,455 They're all smiling at me. Of course, it makes perfect sense. 555 00:22:54,582 --> 00:22:56,667 - I want to say something else. - Uh-huh? 556 00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:59,837 You left my party before dessert! 557 00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:01,338 How can you do that? 558 00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:03,007 It's not proper etiquette. 559 00:23:03,132 --> 00:23:07,011 I don't subscribe to the "wait for dessert" rule 560 00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:08,596 before you can leave a party. 561 00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:11,515 No one cares what you subscribe to, okay? 562 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,894 We were trying to re-create what happened 25 years ago 563 00:23:15,019 --> 00:23:17,897 and I said, "Larry, would you like to make a toast?" 564 00:23:18,022 --> 00:23:20,983 And someone said, "Larry went home to take a shit." 565 00:23:22,151 --> 00:23:23,402 [Larry] Ah. 566 00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:30,910 You stay here. Okay boy? 567 00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:33,787 You stay, Sheriff. 568 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,088 - Hey! - Hey, Larry. 569 00:23:43,213 --> 00:23:45,382 - Hey, hi! - How are you? 570 00:23:45,507 --> 00:23:47,843 - Great. - Good to see you. 571 00:23:47,968 --> 00:23:49,345 Hey, by the way, I don't know 572 00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:53,307 if you heard anything about what's been going on... 573 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,684 Oh, come on, I heard. Right? I'm in the loop. 574 00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:57,394 - Yeah, yeah. - It's alright, though. 575 00:23:57,519 --> 00:23:59,063 I don't think you should worry about it. 576 00:23:59,188 --> 00:24:00,439 Just, it's all good now. 577 00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:02,608 And, you know, what happened that day was 578 00:24:02,733 --> 00:24:04,234 I just got a little excited, but not-- 579 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:06,946 Hey, hey, hey, hey, Larr, I stood up at the meeting 580 00:24:07,071 --> 00:24:08,906 I told everybody, "I know the guy." 581 00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:10,699 I vouched for you. You're alright. 582 00:24:10,824 --> 00:24:11,992 You're, you're something, you know that? 583 00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:13,452 Come on, come on! 584 00:24:13,577 --> 00:24:15,119 - It all worked out, right? - It's great. 585 00:24:15,244 --> 00:24:17,748 Listen, she's happy, we're happy, you know? 586 00:24:17,873 --> 00:24:19,291 - Fantastic. - She's back on the team. 587 00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:21,627 Everything's good. Don't even think about it. 588 00:24:21,752 --> 00:24:23,504 - Fantastic. - Alright. 589 00:24:23,629 --> 00:24:24,880 - Hey. - Yeah. 590 00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:27,758 You know, we missed you at Funkhouser's party. 591 00:24:27,883 --> 00:24:29,259 The what? 592 00:24:29,385 --> 00:24:32,304 Marty Funkhouser's 25th anniversary party. 593 00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:34,056 - Oh, Jodi's dad? - Yeah. 594 00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:36,517 Yeah, I don't really know him. No. 595 00:24:36,642 --> 00:24:39,603 - You weren't invited to that? - Nope, no no, no. 596 00:24:40,813 --> 00:24:42,815 Was it good? Did you go? 597 00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:46,151 - Yeah, yeah, I went. - Yeah, it was good? 598 00:24:46,276 --> 00:24:48,070 And don't worry about that other thing. 599 00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:50,489 I just want you to know, gone, like it never happened. 600 00:24:50,614 --> 00:24:51,949 - Okay? - Thanks, sweetheart. 601 00:24:52,074 --> 00:24:53,784 Like it never happened. All the lesbians love you. 602 00:24:53,909 --> 00:24:55,536 - Okay, love you. Love you. - I love you back. 603 00:24:55,661 --> 00:24:57,746 [Rosie] I love you. Everyone loves you. 604 00:24:57,871 --> 00:24:58,914 All of us. 605 00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,885 You are a Muslim! 606 00:25:13,470 --> 00:25:15,723 Go, pray, pray. 607 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:22,813 [Larry] Hey, let me ask you something. 608 00:25:22,938 --> 00:25:25,023 Are brothers and sisters a little overly sensitive 609 00:25:25,148 --> 00:25:26,775 to being told to keep it down? 610 00:25:26,900 --> 00:25:29,278 Because I know in the movies you guys, you tend to make 611 00:25:29,403 --> 00:25:32,364 a lot of noise sometimes. Am I right? 612 00:25:32,489 --> 00:25:34,657 "Cause that's kind of what happened at the party.' 613 00:25:36,076 --> 00:25:38,912 What, did I... No, go back. 614 00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:42,207 Did I interrupt the praying? I'm-I'm sorry. 615 00:25:42,332 --> 00:25:43,917 - Don't worry about it. - Alright. 616 00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:44,917 Listen, Mr. David-- 617 00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:46,336 Look at the way you fold that up. 618 00:25:46,462 --> 00:25:47,755 It's like a yoga mat, huh? 619 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,590 I just want you to know that 620 00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:53,093 that Muslims are a very forgiving people. 621 00:25:53,218 --> 00:25:55,179 - They are? - Yes, we are. 622 00:25:55,304 --> 00:25:57,263 - We're very forgiving. - Really? Huh. 623 00:25:57,388 --> 00:25:58,348 Well, it's true. 624 00:25:58,474 --> 00:26:00,059 There's a lot of meshugana Muslims, though 625 00:26:00,184 --> 00:26:02,269 running around, are there not? 626 00:26:02,394 --> 00:26:03,395 Being that we are a forgiving people 627 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,647 I have decided to take on your case. 628 00:26:07,398 --> 00:26:11,111 But I'm gonna have to charge you a higher rate 629 00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:13,196 than I charge most people. 630 00:26:13,321 --> 00:26:15,491 Well, whatever you have to do. 631 00:26:15,616 --> 00:26:18,285 - You're gonna take the case? - I'm gonna take the case. 632 00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:20,537 - Thank you so much. - You're welcome. 633 00:26:20,662 --> 00:26:21,997 Do Muslims shake? 634 00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:24,166 - Yes, we do. - You do. 635 00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:25,917 - Yes, we do. - Great. 636 00:26:26,042 --> 00:26:27,544 To tell you the truth, um, uh 637 00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:29,755 I'm, I'm very excited about this. 638 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,465 The whole adoption thing... 639 00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:33,967 I mean, this, this could be a huge thing for me. 640 00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:35,219 Alright, Mr. David. 641 00:26:35,344 --> 00:26:36,678 Oh, guess what. 642 00:26:37,721 --> 00:26:38,513 Bathroom key. 643 00:26:39,473 --> 00:26:40,766 You know what? 644 00:26:42,643 --> 00:26:44,936 I gotta go again. I'm so sorry. 645 00:26:45,061 --> 00:26:46,563 Alright. 646 00:27:12,548 --> 00:27:14,758 Well, looky here! 647 00:27:14,883 --> 00:27:18,053 Look what's doing here! 648 00:27:18,178 --> 00:27:20,681 Aren't you supposed to be in here? 649 00:27:20,806 --> 00:27:23,058 It seems to me you're using the wrong toilet. Am I-- 650 00:27:23,183 --> 00:27:25,144 Somebody was in there. I had to use the normal one. 651 00:27:25,269 --> 00:27:27,271 Really? First of all 652 00:27:27,396 --> 00:27:30,648 we don't like to be referred to as "normal," okay? 653 00:27:30,773 --> 00:27:34,278 We're "able-bodied." "Able-bodied," not "normal." 654 00:27:34,403 --> 00:27:36,196 That's like from the '80s. Who doesn't know that? 655 00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:38,949 I had to go to the bathroom. Somebody was in there. 656 00:27:39,074 --> 00:27:40,784 Well, then you wait. 657 00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:42,994 You wait. 658 00:27:53,005 --> 00:27:55,215 Alright, Sheriff! 659 00:27:56,215 --> 00:27:58,468 Okay, good boy! Good boy. 660 00:27:58,594 --> 00:28:00,095 Mr. David! 661 00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:01,638 My bathroom key. 662 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:18,363 - Hey, nice dog. - No, don't! 663 00:28:19,823 --> 00:28:23,035 I love dogs. I have a couple of my own. 664 00:28:25,078 --> 00:28:26,371 - Alright, just give me my key. - Oh. 665 00:28:26,496 --> 00:28:28,080 I c-I can't believe I forgot. 666 00:28:28,207 --> 00:28:29,082 [Omar] Hopefully we won't have to keep going 667 00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:30,542 through the same thing, you know-- 668 00:28:30,667 --> 00:28:32,127 I'm sorry. Won't happen again. 669 00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:33,587 Won't happen again. 670 00:28:34,588 --> 00:28:36,173 - Nice dog. - Thank you. 671 00:28:36,298 --> 00:28:37,715 Good to see you. 672 00:28:39,009 --> 00:28:42,971 Hey. Good boy, good boy. Yeah. 673 00:28:43,096 --> 00:28:46,975 Oh, look! You got yourself a doggie! 674 00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:51,980 Sorry. 50318

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