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1
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♪
2
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[Larry] I'm drowning.
3
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I'm gonna die. And somewhere...
I'm not even rel...
4
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I'm not religious at all...
I said, "God, help me!"
5
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And I'm deposited right,
right on the beach.
6
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Oh, my golly.
7
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I went swimming that
day for some reason.
8
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Something drew me to the water.
9
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Why? I don't know.
10
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You know, it's like a baby
drawn to the nipple.
11
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You know what... Or, you know,
adults drawn to the nipple.
12
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:50,777
- Yeah.
- Either way, right?
13
00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:51,945
[Susie] You know what I think, Larry?
14
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Was that divine intervention?
15
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:54,406
- Yeah.
- Unbelievable, Larry.
16
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:55,741
Huh? Is that not divine intervention?
17
00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,618
- You know what I think, Lar?
- Huh?
18
00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:59,328
I think this happened for a reason.
19
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,537
- Yes! Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
20
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:02,998
I think so too.
It happened for a reason.
21
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,667
Now maybe you'll start to be
more respectful to people.
22
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,377
- Treat people better.
- I'm respectful to people.
23
00:02:08,502 --> 00:02:10,881
- Eh, Larry, eh-heh.
- What? What eh-heh?
24
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,924
- Fine. Whatever, whatever.
- I respect people.
25
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:14,843
- I'm very nice to people.
- Yeah, fine.
26
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,346
So, anyway, huh? Amazing?
27
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:18,513
- Is that amazing?
- Awesome.
28
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,642
True story, every word! Huh?
29
00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,852
- To life!
- L'chaim!
30
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,395
- Yeah!
- L'chaim!
31
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,647
- L'chaim.
- To life, you said it.
32
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:28,523
Every day is a gift.
33
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,070
Are you going to temple
for the High Holy Days?
34
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:34,905
- Yeah, of course.
- I think I wanna go to temple.
35
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:35,989
- This year.
- You do?
36
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:36,990
Well, yeah, I mean, given
37
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what happened and everything
38
00:02:38,407 --> 00:02:39,534
Don't you think
I should be there?
39
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:40,869
Yeah, it's a great thing
40
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,245
but you've got to get your ticket, like
41
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:43,705
six months in advance.
42
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:44,748
It's a tough ticket to go
to the High Holy Days.
43
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,667
Why do you need a ticket
to go to temple?
44
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:47,709
It's crazy!
45
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,086
I'm not saying I justify it
46
00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:52,381
but you need a ticket, and
I've got my tickets.
47
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:53,882
How am I gonna get one?
48
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,508
Um...
49
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,095
You know what?
50
00:02:58,220 --> 00:02:59,388
I'll make some calls
51
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,264
and if I hook one up
I call you tonight.
52
00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:03,558
- Okay.
- We'll see.
53
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:04,893
Look at this thing. Look.
54
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,311
You ever see a handle
like this on a cup?
55
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:07,729
What's the point of this?
56
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:08,939
It looks like a little
pretend little teacup.
57
00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:10,315
- Yeah, look, look.
- Yeah.
58
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:11,525
You can't get your index
finger in there.
59
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:12,776
What's the point?
60
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,319
Yeah, I like watching you do that.
61
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,446
There's something
I want to tell you...
62
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,074
Oh! I went by
Leo's delicatessen.
63
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,367
You know what's up on the board?
64
00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:22,703
A brand-new sandwich
called the Larry David.
65
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:26,498
- What? Get out of here.
- Swear to God. Swear to God.
66
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,375
- Leo named a sandwich after me?
- He named a sandwich after you.
67
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,127
- You're kidding!
- Yep, yep, yep, yep.
68
00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:31,877
I can't believe it.
I'm on the board?
69
00:03:32,002 --> 00:03:33,255
You're on the board.
70
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,757
- What is it?
- Um, let's see, uh...
71
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,885
There's whitefish, uh, sable
72
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,554
uh, capers, onions, and cream cheese.
73
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,431
What? What?
74
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,683
- That's the sandwich?
- Yeah.
75
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:47,394
- You've got a sandwich!
- That's a disgusting sandwich!
76
00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:48,979
Really?
77
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,355
Alright, I'm gonna get something to eat.
78
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,524
- I'll see you in a minute.
- Okay.
79
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,152
Look at this. Ugh.
80
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:57,154
- Sorry.
- Oh, boy.
81
00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:59,740
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, what happened?
82
00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:01,450
He bumped me.
83
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,618
- Did you bump into him?
- No.
84
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,912
You bumped into me.
You didn't bump into me?
85
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:08,165
Larry, please.
86
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,297
- What happened?
- Oh, nothing.
87
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,632
Ready to go?
88
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,092
Yeah. You ready?
89
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:20,469
- Hey.
- What?
90
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,970
- We're gonna take off.
- What?
91
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,264
We carpooled with you.
I'm not ready to leave yet.
92
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,725
- Yeah, it's enough already.
- Larry, what the fuck?
93
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:28,142
I'm having fun.
Jeff, they wanna go.
94
00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:29,394
- You wanna go?
- We wanna go. Yeah.
95
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:30,854
- We carpooled together.
- No, we wanna go.
96
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,230
We're not ready to leave, Jeff.
97
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,315
He just got his food.
98
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,940
- Listen, you'll get a ride.
- Fine.
99
00:04:35,065 --> 00:04:36,401
If you don't get a ride,
you'll give me a call, okay?
100
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:37,694
Fine, yeah, you'll be hearing from us.
101
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:38,987
Yeah, you'll come back and get us.
102
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,279
I will I'll come back and get you.
103
00:04:40,404 --> 00:04:42,199
I believe that.
104
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,869
Oh, Larry.
105
00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:47,370
[Larry] Call me Mr. Tibbs.
106
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:50,081
Larry.
107
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:01,092
Don't answer that.
108
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:02,511
Actually, that might be Jeff
109
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:03,803
calling about the temple tickets.
110
00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:04,846
I don't care.
111
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,807
- Huh?
- I don't care, come on.
112
00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,934
No, no, this is kind
of important though.
113
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,519
- Well, he'll call back.
- No, I'm really...
114
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,355
I told him to try and find out. Hello?
115
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,606
- Hey!
- Oh, hey.
116
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:18,026
Uh, made some calls, but
no go on the tickets.
117
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,820
- Oh, what a bummer!
- Yeah.
118
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,863
Yeah, I'm sorry, but you know what?
119
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,241
You can always try for a scalper.
120
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:25,617
Really? They got scalper tickets?
121
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,369
- They usually do.
- Huh.
122
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,621
- Yeah.
- Expensive?
123
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,957
I have no idea.
124
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:33,416
Alright, I'll get some scalper tickets.
125
00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:34,668
Get some scalper tickets.
126
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:35,961
We'll just go down there
and try to get some.
127
00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:36,962
Yeah.
128
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,464
Um, okay, thanks for trying.
129
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:40,423
Sure, man.
I'll talk to you later.
130
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:41,967
- Okay.
- Bye.
131
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:45,720
- Get off!
- What?
132
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,056
- Get off of me!
- What are you doing?
133
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,308
What am I doing?!
What are you doing?!
134
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:51,642
What?
135
00:05:51,767 --> 00:05:54,187
What's the...
What's the big deal? What?
136
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:56,523
Why did you have to answer the phone?
137
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,190
'Cause I told you,
I was expecting a call.
138
00:05:58,315 --> 00:06:00,527
Why? So what? I'm...
139
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:02,654
Jesus.
140
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,363
Goodnight.
141
00:06:04,488 --> 00:06:05,740
Oh, right.
142
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,617
Mustn't interrupt intercourse.
143
00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:11,246
Oh, sacred intercourse
cannot be interrupted.
144
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:14,082
Oooh. Everybody, quiet.
145
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,584
Quiet for intercourse.
146
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,670
Shh! Don't disturb the intercourse.
147
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:23,967
Let me tell you something.
148
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,720
This is some kinda sandwich, my friend.
149
00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:29,055
It's the first time
I really quelled...
150
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,599
Really swelled up with joy.
151
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,684
Look at that
Larry David sandwich.
152
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,228
- Yeah.
- I really quelled from this.
153
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,147
It's something that makes
me prouder than anything.
154
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:40,275
Ah, alright, alright.
I don't even like it.
155
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,278
- What?
- I don't like it.
156
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,697
Alright, whatever you said just now
157
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,991
you mumbled it, which
is something you do.
158
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:49,951
You do a lot.
You do a lot of mumbling.
159
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,119
Okay.
160
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:55,373
You don't have a lot of
respect for speech.
161
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:57,250
You could speak a little clearer.
162
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,961
It wouldn't hurt anybody.
Oh, laughing in my face.
163
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,963
I don't have respect for speech?
164
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,255
- Yes.
- I do.
165
00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:05,967
I respect speech. I disagree.
166
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,887
- Aha! Look who's here!
- Hey, Leo!
167
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,514
How're you doing, Larry?
168
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,767
So good to see you!
169
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:16,311
Oh, and Mr. David, too!
170
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,313
How are you, sir?
How are you, huh?
171
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,023
- Jesus.
- Huh? Yeah!
172
00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:22,108
Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
173
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,443
Leo!
174
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:26,821
First of all,
I want to thank you
175
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,032
for putting me up on the board
176
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,242
having my own sandwich!
177
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:35,163
Larry David sandwich, huh?
178
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,998
Will you look...
Look how proud he is.
179
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,583
[Nat] No problem!
180
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,002
It is my pleasure to put
the Larry David sandwich
181
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,087
up on the board.
182
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,254
It's such a wonderful thing.
183
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,882
You like it, yeah? You like it?
184
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,426
- Eh!
- What is this eh?
185
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:51,096
Eh. You know...
186
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,430
I'm not really a big...
187
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,849
I'm not really a big fish
guy, to tell you the truth.
188
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,227
This is the best whitefish
in the whole wide world.
189
00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,354
No other place got this
whitefish but me.
190
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,065
Oh, I'm sure it is but
I'm more of a, you know
191
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,484
pastrami, corned beef kind of guy.
192
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,736
Can I get a pastrami, corned beef thing?
193
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:09,948
You are the whitefish-sable.
Period.
194
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:12,826
- What do you want me to do?
- What about tongue?
195
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,911
No tongue!
196
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,705
Hey, let me ask you this, okay?
197
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,749
What if I got somebody
198
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:22,669
to switch sandwiches with me?
199
00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,754
- To switch with you?
- Yeah, maybe, you know...
200
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:27,382
Uh, Ted Danson, or something.
201
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,051
What do you think about that?
202
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,803
Okay, I tell you what
I'm going to do for you.
203
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:35,974
If the Mr. Danson say okay,
okay, you can switch.
204
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,309
- Alright.
- If I can do it, I can do it.
205
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:40,061
- Okay, yeah.
- I'll see you at temple.
206
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,062
Okay.
207
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:47,360
Jesus, that guy almost broke
my hand with that shake.
208
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:48,903
Don't whisper to me. Please...
209
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:52,449
I said he almost broke my
hand with that handshake!
210
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:55,785
You know, most of the
time, once in a while
211
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:59,289
if you're, if you're
pleasant to people...
212
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:04,502
You... you...
213
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:05,962
What's the matter?
214
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:10,258
Take a drink of water.
215
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,469
Take some water.
216
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,766
It's okay, pop.
217
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,934
Everything's gonna be alright.
218
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,187
I got your glasses.
219
00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:41,039
[Dr. Sewell] Well, your dad
has had a mild stroke.
220
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:44,167
- Really?
- Yes. He's going to be fine.
221
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,586
I've got him lightly sedated right now
222
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,463
and he's-he's resting
223
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,839
but he's doing very very well
224
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,381
and it's nothing for you to worry about.
225
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,009
- Okay, okay.
- Honestly.
226
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:56,261
Um, my feeling is we may do a
little corrective surgery.
227
00:09:56,386 --> 00:09:58,223
I don't know exactly when
228
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,767
but we'll have him here for a while.
229
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:02,559
Let me ask you a question.
230
00:10:02,684 --> 00:10:05,146
Uh, my dad and I were eating
in the deli earlier.
231
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:08,399
- Mm-hmm.
- And, um...
232
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:11,569
Actually, they named a
sandwich after me.
233
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,196
- No kidding.
- Yeah, I got my own...
234
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,740
- Got my own sandwich at Leo's.
- That is great.
235
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,325
I'm up... I'm up on the
board the Larry David.
236
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,119
- If you go in there...
- Oh, I see that on the menu.
237
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,371
You know, everybody's
got their sandwiches.
238
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:22,831
Yeah, but, you know, the bad news is
239
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,625
that I can't stand the
sandwich, between you and me.
240
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,252
What is it?
241
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,545
I see you recoiled a little bit.
242
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:29,504
Is it a breath thing?
243
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:30,880
No, no, not at all, no.
244
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,215
You put your head back a little bit.
245
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:33,383
No, not at all, no.
246
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:34,634
But anyway, here's my question.
247
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:35,677
Okay.
248
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:39,889
Is it possible that the sandwich
249
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:43,351
could've had something
to do with the stroke?
250
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,520
If the sandwich was caught
251
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,689
and he started choking
and couldn't breathe
252
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:50,150
and then became fearful,
I guess it's possible.
253
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,734
You know, it could raise
his blood pressure.
254
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,154
His life is not threatened.
He's fine and he's resting.
255
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,072
The sandwich gave him a stroke.
I can't believe this.
256
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:59,993
How do you like this?
The sandwich.
257
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:03,621
Do you mind if I... if I, uh...
258
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:06,207
You know, I'm a big fan of "Seinfeld."
259
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,792
I don't know if that bothers you or not.
260
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,752
- Why would it bother me?
- It was a wonderful show.
261
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,880
- Thank you, thank you.
- It was a great show
262
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,464
And I'll tell you what...
263
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:16,384
...I'm gonna do your
father's surgery for you.
264
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,552
I'm chief surgeon here.
265
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,304
Usually I delegate it to somebody else
266
00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:22,640
but I would be happy to do this for you.
267
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:25,309
- Thank you.
- Now, you're a golfer, right?
268
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:29,772
So would you like to get
together and play?
269
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,282
I can't believe that sandwich
270
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,784
might have been responsible for this.
271
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,245
I'm so sorry.
272
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,458
Whitefish.
273
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:50,585
Why'd they have to give me whitefish?
274
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,421
So many other sandwiches.
275
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,797
Pastrami, tuna.
276
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:58,134
I would have taken tuna...
even with the mercury.
277
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,140
It stinks in here?
278
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,768
You know what? I think you
smell from the onion.
279
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,688
You want a mint? Hmm?
280
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:12,774
Take a mint.
281
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:16,444
No mint?
282
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,696
I got a whole handful of them.
283
00:12:25,535 --> 00:12:28,081
What?
284
00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:30,083
What?
285
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,922
What is it?
286
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:38,174
I don't...
287
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,059
{\an8}I'm a doctor?
288
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,144
{\an8}What? I'm a doctor?
289
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:59,112
{\an8}I'm... a-adopted?
290
00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:00,947
{\an8}Adopted?
291
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:02,824
{\an8}- I'm sorry.
- Did you say I'm adopted?
292
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,951
{\an8}I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave the room.
293
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,619
[Larry] Okay, okay.
294
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:07,996
- Now.
- Okay.
295
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,414
- "Adopted," you said?
- You're gonna have to leave.
296
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,665
Now. Let's go.
297
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,833
- Dad, I'm adopted?
- Come on, let's go.
298
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,336
- Adopted?
- Let's go.
299
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:18,006
- Let's go.
- I'm adopted...
300
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:24,136
I think I'm adopted.
I might be adopted.
301
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:26,014
I-I think I'm adopted.
302
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,474
I could be adopted.
303
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,643
I might be adopted.
304
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,522
Dennis, hey.
305
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,482
Where'd you come from?
306
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,026
Upstairs.
307
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,069
Upstairs? What the hell...
308
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,864
Hey, do you mind if
I stop this for a second?
309
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,574
Do you mind if I stop?
Because I have an idea.
310
00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:46,200
Maybe it'd be...
Maybe it's be more funny if...
311
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,328
You know what,
I suspected this a long time.
312
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,078
I really did. The only thing...
313
00:13:50,203 --> 00:13:52,749
The only noticeable thing
I have in common with them
314
00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:54,751
honest to God, is my penmanship.
315
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,419
I noticed there's a similarity.
316
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:57,420
Isn't there something with the stroke
317
00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:59,589
with oxygen to his brain or something?
318
00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:03,384
- Come on. Adopted?
- Don't, don't ruin this for me.
319
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,845
- I'm not trying to ruin it.
- Don't rain on my parade.
320
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:06,971
[Ted] Hey, look who's here.
321
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,973
- Hey!
- Hey, Jeff. Hey, man.
322
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:11,684
I can't, can't shake.
Bad fingers. Hurt my fingers.
323
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:14,227
Alright, alright.
I am so bummed out.
324
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,147
I'm awful. I'm don't know
how to be funny anymore.
325
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,900
It's not you, it's not you.
It's the writing.
326
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,651
Why are you here, by the way?
327
00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:21,944
No, we were just...
I was at his office.
328
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,029
I thought I'd bring him by.
329
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,238
I told him you were filming here.
330
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,656
- Yeah.
- He got all excited.
331
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,033
Yeah figured I'd check
out the new pilot.
332
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,868
Thanks, buddy.
I really appreciate it.
333
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:30,828
And... Oh, guess what?
334
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:33,081
- Leo's... You know?
- Yeah.
335
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,749
They named a sandwich after me.
336
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,542
Oh, you're kidding me.
Oh, you're kidding me.
337
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,878
- I got a sandwich.
- That's wonderful, man.
338
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:41,089
- I'm on the board.
- You've arrived.
339
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,591
- I'm on the board.
- That is fantastic.
340
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,218
- Yep.
- That's good news.
341
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:47,845
So the thing about it...
I was wondering...
342
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,389
'Cause I know you don't
go in there very much...
343
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:51,015
I'm in there all the time.
344
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,059
I'm in there three times a week.
345
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:56,437
You know, and in as much
as you don't go in there
346
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,315
I was just thinking that maybe...
347
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,109
'Cause my sandwich is a great sandwich
348
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,778
but I'm not a,
I'm not really a fish guy.
349
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,363
- Yeah.
- And it's kind of a...
350
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,031
- You gotta like fish.
- Eh.
351
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,783
You like fish, but anyway...
352
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:09,992
So I was thinking maybe
353
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:12,286
you wouldn't mind switching with me.
354
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,746
- Switching sandwiches?
- Yeah.
355
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,289
You know, 'cause you don't go in there.
356
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,874
I'd like to eat my own sandwich.
357
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,293
It would be fun to go in with my dad
358
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,962
and eat my own sandwich, you know?
359
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,923
Alright. What the hell?
I mean, what's the harm?
360
00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:25,258
- Really?
- Yeah, why not?
361
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:27,218
- Fanta... No. Fantastic!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
362
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:30,138
Just so if anyone asks me,
what's in my new sandwich?
363
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,975
Oh, okay, it's, um... you got whitefish.
364
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,727
- You know whitefish?
- W-whitefish.
365
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:41,399
- Whitefish and sable. Um...
- What is sable?
366
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:44,026
- Sable. It's a, it's a fish.
- It's a fish like a whitefish.
367
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,362
- It's a smoked fish.
- It's a smoked fish, yeah.
368
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:47,905
- You have two fishes?
- Two fishes.
369
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:50,158
Yeah, but they-they blend
very well together.
370
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,326
They're like Siamese twins,
whitefish and sable.
371
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,412
What else is in it?
No condiments?
372
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:57,206
Cream cheese.
373
00:15:57,331 --> 00:16:00,126
There's some cream cheese.
It's--
374
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:02,462
- Uh...
- Capers.
375
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,300
There-there may be some capers,
I'm not sure.
376
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:08,426
If you don't like 'em,
you can brush them off.
377
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:11,888
- That's not a big deal.
- Onions.
378
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,764
Yeah.
379
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:20,605
That's sounds awful.
380
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:24,942
What are you talking about?
Awful?
381
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,904
My sandwich is turkey,
coleslaw, Russian dressing.
382
00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:30,364
It's a classic. People come
in, they order a Ted Danson.
383
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,658
Yeah, but you're not there.
You-you don't go in there.
384
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:34,410
I know, but people are
used to my sandwich.
385
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:36,496
I'm not sure they show up and
all of a sudden they're eating
386
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:39,248
you know, the Ted Danson
sandwich all of a sudden
387
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:40,708
has herring and lox.
388
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,168
- It's not herring.
- And smoked whatever.
389
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,962
- Capers. Onions.
- Shut the fuck up.
390
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,923
It's not herring, okay?
391
00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:49,800
It's-it's whitefish and sable.
That's not herring.
392
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:51,761
Instead of ordering a Ted
Danson people go in
393
00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:53,721
and order a Larry David.
What's the difference?
394
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,224
One tastes good and one sucks!
395
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:57,892
Why don't you taste it?
Taste the sandwich.
396
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,560
- Taste it!
- I don't wanna taste it!
397
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,103
- You can't even taste it?
- I don't wanna taste it!
398
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:02,897
- You wanna taste it?
- No!
399
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,732
[Ted] I won't taste
your stupid sandwich.
400
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,275
- You won't taste it?
- No, I won't.
401
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,237
[Larry] Alright, so
you're not tasting it?
402
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:14,367
{\an8}Tickets, tickets. Who needs?
Who needs tickets?
403
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:19,413
Tickets? Happy New Year.
Tickets?
404
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,873
How are you?
405
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,709
- You need tickets?
- You got something?
406
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:24,961
- I got--
- Yeah?
407
00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:26,420
Do I have...
I have the best seats.
408
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,838
- Yeah?
- I have fabulous--
409
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,632
Two seats, right there in front.
410
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,551
The cantor will be practically
spitting all over you.
411
00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:33,135
- Really?
- Yeah.
412
00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:35,221
- H-how much?
- Give me 600 for the two.
413
00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:36,430
I'll give you 300 for the pair.
414
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,891
{\an8}I'll take it.
I'll take the 300.
415
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,601
{\an8}I'll take the 300.
416
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:46,148
You have no idea what a deal this is.
417
00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:48,776
Incredible deal you got. 600.
418
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,450
- You alright?
- You're not screwing me?
419
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:57,910
You're screwing me, maybe.
420
00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,494
You know, I'm giving you
the deal of a lifetime.
421
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:02,707
- Hey! All good.
- Got them.
422
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,083
- Alright.
- Got 'em.
423
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:06,042
- How much?
- Pfft.
424
00:18:06,167 --> 00:18:08,087
- Really? Oh, jeez.
- Yeah yeah.
425
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:10,006
I don't understand why you buy tickets.
426
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,299
Because it's a popular day.
427
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,675
There's too many Jews to go around.
428
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,176
[Susie] There's not enough... Exactly.
429
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:16,345
By the way, thank you for
carpooling with us.
430
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:17,722
- Alright.
- We--
431
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:19,265
I really never expected
you to get in my car
432
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:20,516
again after the other night.
433
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:21,809
- We're sorry about that.
- Man.
434
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,436
Listen, this, uh, this adoption thing
435
00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:25,771
I was thinking about it.
436
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,815
Isn't there an aunt or an uncle
437
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,108
or somebody from your childhood?
438
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,861
Any relative who would
know, they're all dead.
439
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:33,654
- They're all dead?
- All dead.
440
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,448
- Every last one?
- There's...
441
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:37,325
There's one person, though.
442
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,285
I had a nanny when I was--
443
00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:40,994
You had a nanny?
444
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:42,747
I had a nanny.
Johanna Seiderman.
445
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:46,584
- Yeah?
- When I was a little kid.
446
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:49,128
Antoinette tracked her down.
447
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:53,090
There's a Johanna Seiderman
in a nursing home in Queens
448
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:54,508
and I've written her a letter.
449
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:55,926
Oh, well, this is terrific.
450
00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:58,262
That way you'll have
definitive "yes, no."
451
00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,847
You might not be happy with the answer
452
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,349
but you'll know the answer.
453
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,892
Hey, let me ask you guys a question.
454
00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:04,935
You pick up the phone during sex?
455
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,561
- No!
- Why would you pick up?
456
00:19:06,686 --> 00:19:07,980
You're in the middle
of an intimate moment
457
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,398
with your-your loved one.
458
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:10,983
- You're gonna pick up?
- I'm... It's fine.
459
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,401
[Jeff] What would you pick up for?
460
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:14,528
If every blue moon I have sex
461
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:15,780
I'm not gonna pick up the phone.
462
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:18,907
- You've an answering machine.
- Thank you.
463
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:20,993
[Susie] You're having an intimate
moment with a loved one
464
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:22,244
you pick up the phone?
465
00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:24,789
- Who does that?
- Hey, Larry! Larry!
466
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:26,499
- Larry, Rob.
- Oh, sorry, can't shake, Rob.
467
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,167
Got a bad-bad hand.
Somebody...
468
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:30,920
Okay, alright.
Um, so this is your wife?
469
00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:32,505
No! What? No! No!
470
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,049
- What kind of response is that?
- No, that's my wife.
471
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,176
Oh, alright.
Hey, I'll see you inside.
472
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:39,220
- Okay, see you inside.
- Alright, take care.
473
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,262
- Really?
- What?
474
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:42,473
- It's always a thing.
- Oh stop.
475
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:43,849
Oh, no, no, no.
476
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:46,769
Well, you know, you got the
Al Capone hat on and--
477
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,730
This happens to be a very
expensive hat, mister.
478
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,148
And it's rude, it's rude.
479
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:52,358
Alright, let's-let's go in and pray.
480
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:54,902
Okay, let's go in and pray.
481
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,154
Sorry, Susie.
482
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:05,329
"Be among those who cherish
truth above ease.
483
00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:07,289
"'Their fruit we eat now.'
484
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:11,836
Their essence remains for
us in the life to come."
485
00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:50,541
Hey, hey. How'd
you get that sandwich?
486
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:51,959
- What--
- That sandwich at the deli!
487
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,003
He gave... Leo gave it to me.
That's how I got it.
488
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,213
- How did... Did you bribe him?
- Oh, I bribed him?
489
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,215
Yeah, that's rich. What the
hell are you talking about?
490
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,092
How many times a week
do you go in there?
491
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:01,886
- I don't know. Two?
- I go there five times a week.
492
00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:03,012
Big deal.
493
00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:04,388
But I eat anything off the menu.
494
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,307
- I eat a lot of stuff too.
- I take stuff out.
495
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,017
- I get deliveries.
- I give it to charity.
496
00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:10,686
Big deal. You're talking to him
outside? I saw you talking.
497
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:12,897
- It's none of your business.
- What was that about?
498
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:14,315
What, did you tell him you
didn't get a sandwich?
499
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,941
"Leo, I want to get a sandwich."
500
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:18,611
Your sandwich stinks,
by the way. It stinks!
501
00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:21,280
- You stink.
- Excuse me, sir.
502
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:24,366
I'm gonna need to see your ticket.
503
00:21:24,492 --> 00:21:27,828
- Why?
- Your ticket, sir.
504
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:29,330
- Why?
- Is there a problem?
505
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:31,248
What's the problem?
506
00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:35,628
Is this the guy?
507
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:39,048
- Okay, pal.
- Oh, you little snitch.
508
00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,549
- You're gonna have to step out.
- Why? I have a ticket.
509
00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:42,218
- What?
- Let's go.
510
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:44,136
- We can't leave.
- You feel like making a scene?
511
00:21:44,261 --> 00:21:45,304
- No.
- Shh.
512
00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,347
- Oh, shush you!
- Shh.
513
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:47,556
- Shush you!
- Shh.
514
00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:49,433
Shh-shush yourself.
515
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:51,936
Oh, great, little tattletale.
You snitch.
516
00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:53,354
He spilled the coffee, by the way.
517
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:54,688
"Cause I couldn't put my fingers'
518
00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:55,689
through your dainty cup.
519
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:57,273
You know, you're setting
a very bad example
520
00:21:57,398 --> 00:21:58,859
for my gentile wife, you know that.
521
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:00,528
Look, it's her first time in temple.
522
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:02,530
- Larry, what's happening?
- They're kicking us out.
523
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,156
Well, are you gonna wait for us?
524
00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:05,366
It's gonna be an hour and a half.
525
00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:07,159
Well, how are we gonna get home?
We carpooled with you.
526
00:22:07,284 --> 00:22:08,786
You'll get a ride.
There's plenty of people here.
527
00:22:08,911 --> 00:22:10,955
- Ask somebody.
- Let's go.
528
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,705
You'll get a ride.
529
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:16,335
Friends, let
us continue on page 143.
530
00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:20,798
I saw you roll about seven feet past.
531
00:22:20,923 --> 00:22:22,424
- Yeah.
- Get this.
532
00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:25,302
The doctor divorced his wife
and is seeing his secretary.
533
00:22:27,388 --> 00:22:28,973
- Just told me.
- Unbelievable.
534
00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:30,975
- This guy.
- Heh.
535
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:35,020
- Did you hear from the nanny?
- No. No, not yet.
536
00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:36,480
Well, you must be on pins and needles.
537
00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:39,650
Yeah, but, you know,
I think if she gets the letter
538
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,318
I think she's gonna get
in touch with me.
539
00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:42,486
I don't know, we'll see.
540
00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:43,946
- That's wild.
- Isn't it?
541
00:22:44,071 --> 00:22:46,574
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
542
00:23:02,006 --> 00:23:04,215
He's got the yips.
543
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:13,058
- The what?
- The yips. The yips!
544
00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:14,435
The what?
I don't know what that is.
545
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,186
- You never heard of the yips?
- No.
546
00:23:16,311 --> 00:23:17,938
Okay, it's in golf.
547
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:20,858
You line up to putt and
your hands shake.
548
00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:22,276
He was shaking like this.
549
00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:26,321
Well, I mean, maybe it's
just a golf condition.
550
00:23:26,446 --> 00:23:28,198
He gets nervous when he
putts or something.
551
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:31,702
I-I can't take that chance.
He's operating on my father.
552
00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:34,204
Well, you need to call him
and tell him not to do it.
553
00:23:34,330 --> 00:23:36,832
I mean, they're gonna have
to get somebody else.
554
00:23:36,957 --> 00:23:39,126
{\an8}- I hate doing stuff like this.
- You don't have a choice.
555
00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:41,211
I hate these calls.
556
00:23:41,337 --> 00:23:44,465
Pick up the phone and call the doctor.
557
00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:46,759
Maybe you could call him.
558
00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:50,054
If it was my father, I would've
already been on the phone.
559
00:23:52,138 --> 00:23:53,974
Okay.
560
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:01,857
You should go out of the room
'cause I can't do this in front
561
00:24:01,982 --> 00:24:05,444
of somebody else, honest to God.
Could you leave the room?
562
00:24:05,569 --> 00:24:07,529
It's like calling for a date
or something, you know?
563
00:24:07,655 --> 00:24:08,821
I need privacy.
564
00:24:28,759 --> 00:24:30,678
I never. I never said you were adopted.
565
00:24:30,803 --> 00:24:34,556
- Yeah, that's what you said.
- No, no, I never said that.
566
00:24:34,682 --> 00:24:37,101
I wouldn't say that to you.
No, it's not true.
567
00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:38,686
No, you're not adopted.
568
00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:40,521
It's okay, you can tell me.
I can take it.
569
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:42,523
- You're not, you're not--
- Are you sure?
570
00:24:42,648 --> 00:24:46,944
Listen, that Larry David
sandwich, I didn't finish it.
571
00:24:47,069 --> 00:24:49,154
I remember seeing a half a sandwich
572
00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:50,906
still on, still on that table.
573
00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:52,366
You want the other half?
574
00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,284
You know what, I just
ran into your doctor.
575
00:24:54,410 --> 00:24:55,828
I'm meeting him there for lunch.
576
00:24:55,953 --> 00:24:57,287
What a nightmare that's gonna be.
577
00:24:57,413 --> 00:24:59,039
What?
578
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,335
You sure I'm not adopted?
579
00:25:05,713 --> 00:25:08,674
I never said that. Never.
580
00:25:28,444 --> 00:25:30,779
Okay.
581
00:25:30,904 --> 00:25:33,323
We'll see what
Mrs. Seiderman has to say.
582
00:25:46,420 --> 00:25:48,589
Ah. Um...
583
00:25:50,674 --> 00:25:52,551
I'd like a Larry David to go, please.
584
00:25:52,676 --> 00:25:55,804
Oh, we don't have that sandwich anymore.
585
00:25:55,929 --> 00:25:58,182
- What?
- They changed the name.
586
00:26:04,021 --> 00:26:07,357
[Richard] And I say that it
happens every single time.
587
00:26:08,859 --> 00:26:10,402
I swear to God.
I'd never lie to you.
588
00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:13,781
No, I would never lie to you.
Not you guys.
589
00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:15,657
Larry, what are you doing here?
590
00:26:15,782 --> 00:26:17,951
You stole my sandwich?
Is that what you did?
591
00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:19,661
What the hell are you talking about?
592
00:26:19,787 --> 00:26:21,830
- What am I talking about?
- What are you talking about?
593
00:26:21,955 --> 00:26:23,082
You stole my sandwich!
594
00:26:23,207 --> 00:26:24,374
What the fuck does that mean?
595
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:26,376
What? Look! Look at the board.
596
00:26:26,502 --> 00:26:28,212
What, you're blaming me?
597
00:26:28,337 --> 00:26:29,338
I saw you talking to him
outside the temple.
598
00:26:29,463 --> 00:26:30,672
Oh, you're out of your fucking mind.
599
00:26:30,798 --> 00:26:32,424
I saw you talking to him
outside the temple!
600
00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:33,842
I always talk to people outside.
601
00:26:33,967 --> 00:26:35,344
It's Rosh Hashanah.
It's a new year.
602
00:26:35,469 --> 00:26:37,471
I talk to deli owners.
I talk to pawn brokers.
603
00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:39,431
Yeah, yeah, "Leo, can
I please have a sandwich?"
604
00:26:39,556 --> 00:26:41,016
- Oh, bullshit!
- "Please, please."
605
00:26:41,141 --> 00:26:43,143
You were so jealous that
I had a sandwich up there
606
00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:44,978
and you just couldn't
take it, could you?
607
00:26:45,104 --> 00:26:46,772
You had to get your little sandwich!
608
00:26:46,897 --> 00:26:48,732
{\an8}I got a piece of information
you might be interested in.
609
00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:52,694
{\an8}- I can't wait. What is it?
- I'm adopted.
610
00:26:52,820 --> 00:26:55,571
- Bullshit.
- Bullshit? Bullshit?
611
00:26:55,696 --> 00:26:57,782
No, it's not bullshit.
612
00:26:57,907 --> 00:26:59,159
What do you mean, you're adopted?
613
00:26:59,284 --> 00:27:01,744
- I'm adopted.
- How do you know?
614
00:27:01,869 --> 00:27:03,580
My father told me.
615
00:27:03,705 --> 00:27:05,290
You don't know who your parents are?
616
00:27:05,415 --> 00:27:06,542
I know they're not those nuts!
617
00:27:06,667 --> 00:27:08,417
I know that, but I know who yours are.
618
00:27:08,544 --> 00:27:11,880
- Fuck.
- Enjoy your whitefish. Enjoy.
619
00:27:12,005 --> 00:27:13,465
- Larry.
- Yeah?
620
00:27:13,590 --> 00:27:16,552
Larry, you are adopted?
621
00:27:16,677 --> 00:27:17,970
- Yeah.
- I adopted too!
622
00:27:18,095 --> 00:27:20,138
You are my brother!
623
00:27:20,263 --> 00:27:22,015
We are in the brotherhood
of the adopted!
624
00:27:23,684 --> 00:27:26,436
Larry, come on over here.
You know what I'm going to do?
625
00:27:26,561 --> 00:27:28,605
I'm going to let you have
any sandwich you want.
626
00:27:28,730 --> 00:27:30,232
- Really?
- Yeah, any one you want!
627
00:27:30,357 --> 00:27:32,151
- Take it. Go ahead, take it.
- Oh, boy.
628
00:27:32,276 --> 00:27:34,570
- Take it.
- Well, it's a tough decision.
629
00:27:34,695 --> 00:27:36,446
Okay, okay, I wait.
630
00:27:36,571 --> 00:27:38,907
I think I'm going to have to
go with that Ted Danson.
631
00:27:39,032 --> 00:27:40,284
- Ted Danson?
- Yeah.
632
00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:41,785
- That's yours.
- Thank you!
633
00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:44,037
He is a son of a bitch,
he don't come in anyway!
634
00:27:44,163 --> 00:27:45,080
- You got it!
- Thank you.
635
00:27:45,205 --> 00:27:47,082
- Hey, Larry.
- Hey, Dr. Sewell.
636
00:27:47,207 --> 00:27:49,917
I want you to meet a friend of
mine. Leo, this is Dr. Sewell.
637
00:27:50,042 --> 00:27:51,378
- Leo.
- How are you, Dr. Sewell?
638
00:27:51,503 --> 00:27:53,005
Ow! Ow!
639
00:27:59,595 --> 00:28:00,971
Ah.
640
00:28:02,723 --> 00:28:05,309
I think I'll get that Larry David to go.
641
00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:14,568
Do not even think about it.
642
00:28:14,693 --> 00:28:17,029
I'm expecting a call
from Mrs. Seiderman.
643
00:28:17,154 --> 00:28:20,824
- Who?
- You know, my nanny.
644
00:28:22,159 --> 00:28:25,704
Do not pick up that phone.
645
00:28:32,461 --> 00:28:34,254
Nobody's picking up.
646
00:28:35,380 --> 00:28:39,718
I had an answer to his question
647
00:28:39,843 --> 00:28:44,389
if only he had picked up.
648
00:28:45,933 --> 00:28:47,768
Mrs. Seiderman?
649
00:28:47,893 --> 00:28:49,269
Mrs. Seiderman.
650
00:28:51,897 --> 00:28:54,608
Mrs. Seiderman!
Mrs. Seiderman!
48338
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