Original subtitles

Real lovemaking.

Real work at work.

Sweet dinner.

Tell me something.

How does it feel to be Mrs.

Randy Spears?

Oh, it feels great.

But it's kind of hot in here.

Did you turn on the air?

Uh, no.

Uh, let me, let me, uh, let me call down and I'll...

Hi,

this is Randy in 1213.

I was wondering if you could have somebody adjust the temperature in our

room, please. My wife thinks it's too cold. It's too hot.

I'm sorry, it's too hot.

Okay, thank you.

Bye-bye.

No, thank you.

I have never seen a more beautiful woman in my entire life.

How'd I get so lucky?

Luck had nothing to do with it.

Bye.

Oh, good.

Yes.

We're supposed to finish up the semester, Dane. We talked about this.

Well, I just think you ought to give it some more thought is all.

This is your college education we're talking about, Dane. You can't just

throw it away.

You go to one of the better universities in the country.

All right, all right.

Look, we'll just talk about it when you get here, okay?

All right.

Goodbye, son.

Trouble with Little Scooter?

Lisa, please. His name is Dane.

Well, don't tell me that he was calling just to say, hi, how are you, Dad?

What did he want this time?

He dropped out of college.

He says he's going back, that he just needs a break.

But he left in the middle of the semester.

I don't know if they're even going to take him back.

He's staying at his mother's house, but she says he has to go.

Well, don't tell me that he's coming here.

I told him that he could stay with us for a while just until he figured out

what he was going to do.

What?

He just dropped out of college, Lisa.

He's depressed.

This is my son.

I have to help him get back on track.

When I answered your personal ad, it said that your kids were grown and they

didn't live with you.

And now suddenly you have kids again?

I'm just asking you to please understand.

I have to be a father.

He's not going to be here for long, I promise.

Well, it doesn't sound like I'm being given a choice.

You know that Tiffany bracelet you were looking at?

Yes.

Well, I think it would look really good on this little rest of yours.

Me too.

Um, I think I'm going to look for a job at the pet store down the road. I

don't... Well, I think that would be a good idea. We'll talk about this.

Yeah.

Uh,

Dean, this is... Well, Peter.

I see.

Nice to meet you.

So, you know, trash pickup is Mondays and Thursdays.

What? While you're here, that's going to be one of your jobs, to take out the

trash.

I'm sorry, Dad.

Is she for real?

Does it sound like I'm joking?

There's going to be time to work all this out.

Excuse me.

I'm going to go to my room. Nice to meet you, Mom.

unnecessary. I'm just laying down a couple crown rules.

If there's one thing that that son of yours could use, it's boundaries.

Maybe you're right.

But for tonight, can we just let him get settled in?

Okay?

Don't you knock?

This is my house.

I can go into whatever room I want.

No, lady. This is my dad's house. And you know what? He bought it.

And it looks like that's not the only thing in here that he's bought.

Your father pays for a lot of things.

Including the education that you just pissed away.

Don't sharpen the old claws, Mom.

I'm just getting at the feet of my dad's new life.

And it seems like his midlife crisis is in full swing.

Is that your way of trying to say that I'm hot?

Because I'll take it as a compliment.

I wouldn't jump to any conclusions.

Neither would I.

Because let me tell you something, little boy.

This is my house that you're staying in.

I'm your father's wife.

And all I have to do is say the word, and you're out of here.

So if I were you, I would play my cards very, very carefully.

Well, hello.

Hello, Ms. Spears. Just came in to get some water.

Okay.

Please, call me Lisa.

Allow me.

Thank you. I guess I better get back to the game now.

Yes, I guess you should.

But come back if you get thirsty again, okay?

I'll be here.

What are you thinking about?

I'm just thinking about Dane.

He's going through some major shit right now, and I wish I could help him out.

What's going on?

Well, he's kind of flunking out of college.

He came to stay with his dad for a while, but his new stepmom is a bitch.

You know, she's one of those gold-digging trophy wife types.

Hmm, that really sucks.

Yeah, she's super hot on the outside, but on the inside, she's cold as ice.

What do you mean she's super hot on the outside?

What have you been doing, checking her out?

Sarah B., of course not.

You know, she's got body, she's got a face, you know. She's a hot-looking

girl, that's all.

Girl? How old is she?

Woman. I meant woman.

She's not a girl.

Well, maybe you shouldn't be spending so much time over there with this hot bitch

panting around. I don't like it.

Baby, you're out of your mind if you think I'd go after someone like Dana's

new mom. You know, when I got you at home.

Is she hotter than me?

Baby, please.

You didn't say no.

Listen to me, Sarah.

No.

She's nowhere near as hot as you, okay?

Talking about other women doesn't make me feel good.

Come on. I don't think I'm in the mood.

Well, let me get you in the mood.

Ooh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

No, no, no.

Oh, my God.

Sure.

Oh!

oh

It's okay, baby.

I love you.

But age really is just a number, you know?

I finally faced that myself, and I'm really glad that I did.

Now, you should really ask yourself, are you really happy with Randy?

I mean, is there something missing, you know?

Oh, okay, you know what, honey? I am so sorry, but I really gotta run, because

my baby just came home.

Okay, I will call you next week, I promise.

Okay, bye-bye.

I'm so glad you're home.

You can stay away from me for too long.

I miss you.

It's a new one.

Oh my god.

Oh my God.

Hmm.

Oh, my God.

The body I'm talking about. Oh, yeah.

Speak to me.

Yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, my

God. Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

He's not here right now.

Really, he said he'd be here.

Keeping track of his schedule is not one of Dane's talents.

In fact, we're still trying to figure out if he has any talents.

Yeah, I just left my cell phone in his room the other day, so he said I could

stop by and grab it.

Well then, let's go see if it's in his room, shall we?

Here it is.

Voila.

Well, I guess that's it then.

Thanks, Miss Spears. I mean, Lisa.

Lisa. You're welcome, Joey.

Miss Spears?

Do you really have to go with the film?

Well, I was just gonna... I've been watching you, you know.

The other day, when you came in from playing basketball.

All that sweat glistening on those big muscles of yours.

I almost couldn't control myself.

Ms. Spears, I'm... Lisa, I'm not Mrs. Spears.

Marriage is a business arrangement.

Nothing more and nothing less.

I don't think we should... I won't tell Dane.

If you don't...

Mm. Mm.

um um

Yes.

Real love meeting.

Real orgasm.

Sweet dinner.