Original subtitles

SHH.

BE VERY, VERY QUIET. I'M HUNTING WABBITS.

[laughing]

I AM A DUCK BENT ON SELF-PRESERVATIONUM-ONUM.

[gun cocking]

(Elmer) SAY YOUR PRAYERS, RABBIT.

IT'S RABBIT SEASON.

DUCK SEASON.

RABBIT SEASON!

DUCK SEASON.

RABBIT SEASON!

RABBIT SEASON.

DUCK SEASON! FIRE!

FIRE!

HOLD EVERYTHING. "DAFFY GETS BLASTED." MMM-HMM.

PAGE 7: "DAFFY GETS BLASTED." UH-HUH.

PAGE 8: "DAFFY GETS BLASTED AGAIN!"

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE?

WE CAN'T DO THIS KIND OF STUFF ANYMORE.

BROTHERS WARNER,

SHOW BIZ LEGENDS LIKE ME SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PLAY STOOGE

TO THAT LONG-EARED, CARROT-CHOMPING, OVERBITE-CHALLENGED--

EH, WHAT'S UP, DOC?

[gasps]

[all exclaim]

HEY, BOBBY, HOW'S THE WIFE?

GREAT NOSE JOB, CHUCK.

OH, THANKS, GIRLS.

GOOD RUG, MEL. NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED.

PARDON ME.

THE PLEASURE IS MINE.

FELLAS, I THINK DAFF'S RIGHT.

MAYBE I'LL TAKE A VACATION.

GO VISIT MY 542 NIECES AND NEPHEWS.

MR. DUCK, EXCUSE ME, I'M SORRY.

I DON'T SEE HOW WE CAN HAVE A BUGS BUNNY MOVIE

WITHOUT BUGS BUNNY.

OH, MY HEAVENS, NO.

YOU COULDN'T HAVE A MOVIE WITHOUT BUGS BUNNY.

AND IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING,

WHOSE GLORIFIED PERSONAL ASSISTANT ARE YOU?

KATE HOUGHTON, VICE PRESIDENT, COMEDY.

RIGHT.

KATE DID LETHAL WEAPON BABIES.

FINALLY, A LETHAL WEAPON

THAT I CAN TAKE MY GRANDCHILDREN TO.

UM, GENTLEMEN, CHECK YOUR PHONES.

OUR LATEST RESEARCH SHOWS

THAT BUGS BUNNY IS A CORE ASSET

THAT APPEALS TO MALE AND FEMALE,

YOUNG AND OLD THROUGHOUT THE KNOWN UNIVERSE

WHILE YOUR FAN BASE IS LIMITED

TO ANGRY FAT GUYS IN BASEMENTS.

YEAH, BUT--BUT... COME ON, FELLAS,

I'M THRICE THE ENTERTAINER THE RABBIT IS!

[belches]

[all laughing]

FINE, IT'S HILARIOUS,

BUT MOVIEGOERS THESE DAYS DEMAND ACTION HEROES,

LIKE ME!

[chop-socky cries]

[panting]

TOP THAT, RABBIT.

[people laughing]

SO, IT HAS COME TO THIS, HAS IT?

I'M AFRAID THE BROTHERS WARNER

MUST CHOOSE BETWEEN A HANDSOME MATINEE IDOL

OR THIS MISCREANT PERPETRATOR OF LOW BURLESQUE.

[people laughing]

WHICHEVER ONE'S NOT THE DUCK.

[gasps]

HEY, THAT'S THE STUFF FROM MY OFFICE.

(Mr. Warner) YOU DON'T HAVE AN OFFICE.

NOT ANYMORE.

SYMBOLICALLY, THIS IS BAD.

PLEASE, BROTHER. OTHER BROTHER?

UH, ICY SHE-WOLF? HELP ME, PLEASE.

I'M TOO MOIST AND TENDER TO RETIRE.

LET ME ESCORT YOU OUT.

WAIT! I HAVEN'T TRIED TOADYING, KOWTOWING, OR BUTT-KISSING YET.

I'M STILL BEGGING HERE!

[sighs]

FREEZE!

[yells]

[exhales]

[chuckles]

[grunts]

[groans]

CAN I TRY THAT AGAIN?

NO, THANK YOU. WE'LL CALL YOU.

[men laughing]

SIR.

HEY, D.J. HOW DID YOUR TRYOUT GO?

WELL, LET'S SEE. UH,

I CAN SAY I MADE AN IMPRESSION.

YOU KNOW, YOUR FATHER CAN GET YOU A JOB

ANYTIME HE WANTS TO.

I KNOW, BUT I DON'T WANT THAT.

I'D REALLY RATHER EARN IT, SIR.

YEAH. MR. WARNER MENTIONED YOU THIS MORNING.

HE DID? WHAT DID HE SAY?

HE SAID DON'T FORGET THE TURTLEWAX.

(Daffy) WH-WHAT ABOUT ANIMATION? I COULD DO CARTOONS.

DEAD DUCK WALKING.

MORNING, MR. BUNNY.

VERY HOT NOW. AND I DO VOICES. LISTEN.

EXCUSE ME.

(mimics Porky) "FETCH THE STICK, BOY."

(mimics Bugs) "WHAT A MAROON."

(mimics Jack Nicholson) "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH."

SOME GRIP, LADY.

I NEED YOU TO EJECT THIS DUCK.

LADY, THIS IS DAFFY DUCK.

EXACTLY.

NOT ANYMORE. WE OWN THE NAME.

YEAH? WELL, YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM CALLING MYSELF...

[gibbering]

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

YOU FIRED DAFFY DUCK?

NO, I DIDN'T. WELL, I DID. THEY DID.

YOU JUST WERE FOLLOWING ORDERS.

[Kate stuttering]

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

YOU'RE KATE HOUGHTON,

YOU'RE THE V.P. OF COMEDY. GO FIGURE.

YOU DRIVE A RED 1988 ALFA ROMEO.

GOOD ENGINE. LITTLE UNDER-DRIVEN.

I KNOW THIS BECAUSE YOU NEARLY RAN ME OVER LAST WEEK.

ANYWAY, UM, ABOUT THAT DUCK,

YOU WANT ME TO GET RID OF HIM STILL?

HMM?

[quacking]

DUCK, YES. EJECT THE DUCK, PLEASE.

I CAN'T DO THAT. WHY NOT?

HE'S GONE.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, BACKUP?

[chuckles]

DAFFY.

SHABBY JOB SO FAR, CONSTABLE.

QUICK! AFTER ME!

OH, NOW YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT ONE.

WHOO-HOO! WHOO-HOO! COME HERE!

DRESS INSPECTOR!

LOOK OUT!

ONE SIDE, SPARTACUSES.

[Daffy whooping]

COME ON. COME ON.

DAFFY, STOP!

CUT HIM OFF AT THE PASS, BOYS. WHOO-HOO!

ALL UNITS IN PURSUIT OF LITTLE BLACK DUCK.

WHOO-HOO!

WELL, THAT'S JUST CHEATING.

WHOO-HOO!

DAFFY!

(D.J.) COME HERE!

♪ AUTUMN IN FAKE NEW YORK ♪♪

[Daffy hooting]

DON'T FOLLOW ME.

[screaming]

THAT'S NOT RIGHT. CUT!

CUT!

THAT'S LUNCH, EVERYBODY!

[megaphone humming]

THAT AIRBAG COST A LOT OF MONEY.

I'M OK. OK, I'M--

UH, GOOD MORNING. HEY, BATMAN, YOU GOOD?

ALL RIGHT.

MY CHARIOT AWAITS.

YES!

BAT-LIGHTS. BAT-CONDITIONING. BAT-STEREO.

♪♪[music playing]

TO THE DUCK CAVE.

NOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HEY, STAY AWAY FROM THAT BATMOBILE!

COME HERE.

I'M ALLOWED TO STEAL. I'M A CELEBRITY.

TELL IT TO THE JUDGE!

FEELING PRETTY GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF?

I AM.

YOU BESTED THAT DASTARDLY DUCK?

I DID.

NOW, YOU'RE GONNA OFFER YOUR CATCH TO THE PRETTY EXECUTIVE?

INDEED.

MISS HOUGHTON!

[metal clanking]

GET OUT OF THE WAY!

LOOK OUT!

[seagulls screaming]

HEY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? I FOUND NEMO.

I THINK SHE LIKES YOU.

[inaudible]

OOPS!

YOUR FATHER WOULD BE SO ASHAMED OF YOU.

[sirens wailing]

BUT I WAS... IT WAS...

AT FIRST, THEY TOLD ME TO LOSE THE STUTTER.

NOW THEY TELL ME I'M NOT FUNNY.

[sighs]

IT'S A PAIN IN THE BUTT

[stuttering] BEING POLITICALLY CORRECT.

YOU'RE TELLING ME.

WHAT KIND OF PERFORMANCE DO YOU CALL THAT?

YOU MADE ME SOUND LIKE A TOTAL SPACE CADET, MAN.

I'M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY.

I WAS-- I WAS TRYING TO BE REAL TO YOUR CHARACTER.

IF YOU, LIKE, GOOF ON ME IN THE SEQUEL,

I'M COMIN' AFTER YOU.

YEAH, AND I'LL GIVE YOU A SCOOBY SNACK!

[growling]

ALL RIGHT, SO THERE ARE SOME AREAS OF THE SCRIPT

I THINK WE NEED TO ADDRESS.

THERE'S NO HEART, NO COOPERATION,

NOBODY LEARNS ANYTHING.

DAFFY LEARNS NOT TO STICK HIS HEAD IN A JET ENGINE.

HE'S GONE.

NO, DAFFY ALWAYS COMES BACK.

I JUST TELL HIM HOW MUCH I NEED HIM.

WE HUG, WE CRY,

I DROP SOMETHING HEAVY ON HIM, I LAUGH.

THE DUCK IS HISTORY, OK?

ALL RIGHT, SO THE QUESTION IS

HOW CAN I HELP YOU REPOSITION YOUR BRAND IDENTITY?

ANSWER: WE TEAM YOU UP WITH A HOT FEMALE CO-STAR.

USUALLY,

I PLAY THE FEMALE LOVE INTEREST.

♪ HELLO, MY BABY, HELLO, MY HONEY ♪♪

ABOUT THE CROSS-DRESSING THING?

IN THE PAST, FUNNY. TODAY, DISTURBING.

LADY, IF YOU DON'T FIND A RABBIT WITH LIPSTICK AMUSIN',

YOU AND I HAVE NOTHIN' TO SAY TO EACH OTHER.

LOOK, I'M TRYING TO BE NICE,

BUT I WAS BROUGHT IN TO LEVERAGE YOUR SYNERGY,

AND I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU OR SOME WACKY DUCK--

DAFFY.

WACKY, DAFFY, NUTTY, FRUITCAKE,

CRISPY OVER RICE, IT DOESN'T MATTER.

WELL, THESE MATTER.

AND THIS.

AND THEY SAY WE GET DAFFY BACK. RIGHT, BOYS?

WE WANT DAFFY!

BRING HIM BACK!

WE LOVE DAFFY!

LITTLE DAMIAN.

OH, HEY, GRANNY.

HI, TWEETY.

HOW WAS WORK TODAY?

EVENTFUL.

WHAT A NICE YOUNG MAN.

[yelling]

GUESS WHO? SO DID YOU MISS ME?

WHOO-HOO!

[coughing]

I'M GLAD I WAS FIRED.

IN A FEW DAYS, THEY'LL BE KISSING MY BEFEATHERED RUMP,

BEGGING ME TO COME BACK. BUT I WON'T.

DID I MISS THE PART WHERE I INVITED YOU IN?

I'LL BE TOO BUSY ACCEPTING NUMEROUS, MULTIPLE OFFERS.

EVERY STUDIO IN TOWN...

HEY!

[Daffy grunts]

WHO AM I KIDDING? MY CAREER IS OVER.

PERHAPS I WAS BEING TOO POLITE. GET OUT!

I'LL STARVE.

I'LL HAVE TO EAT ENVELOPE GLUE.

WAIT, A SUSHI BAR.

NO, NO, NO!

[grunting]

YES. DAFFY.

[choking]

LEAVE MY FATHER'S HOUSE. NOW.

[knuckles cracking]

[exhales]

YOU LIVE WITH DADDY?

YEAH, SO?

JUST, YOU KNOW, KIND OF TEMPORARILY.

OH, I'VE HIT ROCK BOTTOM.

I'M HANGING OUT WITH A SECURITY GUARD WHO LIVES WITH HIS FATHER.

[Daffy crying]

MY GREASE AND GRAVY!

YOUR DAD IS DAMIAN DRAKE.

THE SUPER SPY.

HE'S AN ACTOR WHO PLAYS A SPY.

AND THAT? THAT WAS HIS I-SPY AWARD.

INGENIOUS.

AN ACTOR WHO PLAYS A SUPER SPY AS A COVER

FOR BEING A SUPER SPY PLAYING AN ACTOR.

IN FACT, I'LL BET THIS WHOLE DUMP IS A SUPER SPY LAIR.

NOTHING IS AS IT SEEMS.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE PROBABLY PROTECTED

BY AN INVISIBLE FORCE FIELD RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

AHA! THE FORCE FIELD-PENETRATING APPLE.

JUST FEEL FREE TO CONTINUE YOUR DELUSIONAL RANTING [ringing]

WHILE I ANSWER MY...

REMOTE?

HELLO?

HMM.

SON?

DAD?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE PAINTING?

I WANTED TO KEEP YOU OUT OF THIS,

BUT THERE'S NO ONE ELSE I CAN TRUST.

(man) STOP HIM!

CAN YOU HOLD ON A SECOND?

[grunting]

ARE YOU SHOOTING A MOVIE OR SOMETHING?

A NEW DAMIAN DRAKE MOVIE? COOL.

COME TO LAS VEGAS.

[men grunting]

ASK DUSTY TAILS FOR THE BLUE MONKEY.

THE BLUE MONKEY? WHAT'S A BLUE MONKEY?

A DIAMOND. A VERY SPECIAL DIAMOND.

FIND DUSTY TAILS.

[groans]

HEY, DAD, YOU NEED ME TO CALL THE POLICE OR SOMETHING?

(man) OH-OH!

[man screaming]

NO, NO POLICE.

DAD, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

I'M SORRY I NEVER TOLD YOU THIS BEFORE,

BUT I--I...

DAD?

DIAMOND? I'M RICH!

I'VE JOINED THE LEISURE CLASS.

I GOTTA GO SAVE MY DAD.

OH, YEAH, YOUR DAD, YEAH.

SO COUNT ME IN. A SPY CAPER.

DOUBLE AGENTS, EXPLODING BIKINIS,

TIGERS HANGING FROM HELICOPTERS!

I'M THROUGH WITH SHOW BIZ!

FROM NOW ON, I'M GONNA LIVE THE ADVENTURE.

NEXT STOP, LAS VEGAS.

(D.J.) I'LL TAKE MY DAD'S OLD CAR.

(Daffy) OH, A SUPER SPY CAR. LET'S RIDE.

THIS ISN'T A SPY CAR.

YOUR DAD IS A SPY. IPSO ERGO, A SPY CAR.

I USED TO DELIVER PIZZAS IN THIS CAR.

SECRET PIZZAS?

A SPY PIE, MAYBE? WHOO-HOO!

FINE, BE THAT WAY.

BUT IT'S DEFINITELY A SPY CAR!

A LITTLE HELP HERE?

DUCKS.

[engine starts]

[engine sputtering]

[brakes screech]

HEY, YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW IT'S A SPY CAR?

BECAUSE IT LOOKS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LIKE A SPY CAR.

(man) SCENE 7, TAKE 1. I DON'T THINK THIS ROUTINE

IS GONNA WORK WITHOUT DAFFY, BUT, UH...

(Director) ACTION.

SAY YOUR PRAYERS, RABBIT.

IT'S RABBIT SEASON.

DUCK SEASON.

RABBIT SEASON.

DUCK SEASON.

RABBIT SEASON.

RABBIT SEASON.

WAIT A MINUTE.

SEE, I TOLD YOU THIS WASN'T GONNA WORK WITHOUT--

[groans]

[coughing]

OH, PAIN. OH, AGONY!

YOU'RE FIRED.

WHAT?

BUT YOU--

YOU GOT RID OF OUR BEST DUCK.

[grunts]

YOU CAN'T FIRE ME.

MY FILMS HAVE MADE $950 MILLION!

THAT'S NOT A BILLION.

NOPE. NOT A BILLION.

OK.

ALL RIGHT.

WELL, I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT THE DECISION

TO GET RID OF DAFFY WAS A POOR ONE.

BUT IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON.

AND BY MOVE ON, I MEAN REVERSING COURSE AND GETTING DAFFY BACK.

(both) BY MONDAY.

I WILL HAVE DAFFY BACK ON MONDAY.

[chomping]

UM, THAT WENT WELL.

LISTEN, DOLL FACE, IF I KNOW DAFFY,

HE'S ALREADY HIT THE ROAD BY NOW.

[moans]

AH. IT'S GOOD TO STRETCH.

YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING REALLY TIRED OF THROWING YOU OUT OF THE CAR.

THAT'S MY PLAN IN A NUTSHELL.

NOW, LISTEN, IF WE RUN INTO ANYTHING

THAT REQUIRES SUPER SPY SKILLS

LIKE CRACKING WISE, SMOOCHING DAMES,

YOU BETTER LEAVE THAT TO ME.

HOWEVER, IF WE HAVE ANY SECURITY GUARDING NEEDS...

VERY FUNNY, DUCK. I'M NOT A SECURITY GUARD.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION, IT'S JUST A JOB. IT'S WHAT I DO FOR MONEY.

MMM-HMM.

WHAT I REALLY DO IS... I'M A...

I'M A STUNTMAN.

HA! YOU? A STUNTMAN? PLEASE.

I AM!

DID YOU SEE THOSE MUMMY MOVIES?

I'M IN THEM MORE THAN BRENDAN FRASER IS.

OH, NO, HE COULDN'T STAND THAT.

ONE DAY HE DECIDES THAT,

"NO, NO, NO! THE BREN-MASTER DOES ALL HIS OWN STUNTS!"

LISTEN, MUSCLES, IF THIS HEAP EVER MAKES IT TO VEGAS,

I'LL DO ALL THE STUNTS, CAPISCE? [cell phone ringing]

DUCK HERE.

DAFFY, OLD CHUM, HOW THE HECK--

YEAH, YEAH, CRAM IT DOWN YOUR RABBIT HOLE.

LISTEN, I THINK I CAN GET YOU YOUR OLD JOB BACK

WITH LESS OF A PAY CUT THAN USUAL.

SO NOT INTERESTED.

I'M OFF TO LAS VEGAS WITH MY NEW SIDEKICK D.J.

TO MATCH WITS WITH SPIES AND SHOWGIRLS.

IT'S A LITTLE ADVENTURE I CALL:

"DAFFY DUCK'S QUEST FOR THE BLUE MONKEY."

AND YOU'RE NOT IN IT.

[beeps off]

BLUE MONKEY?

[electronic beeping]

(Bugs) BLUE MONKEY?

[distorted voice] BLUE MONKEY? BLUE MONKEY?

(Daffy) IT'S A LITTLE ADVENTURE I CALL:

"DAFFY DUCK'S QUEST FOR THE BLUE MONKEY."

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!

WE CANNOT HAVE 9-YEAR-OLDS WORKING IN SWEATSHOPS

MAKING ACME SNEAKERS,

NOT WHEN 3-YEAR-OLDS WORK FOR SO MUCH LESS.

[buzzers sounding]

BUT, SIR, THEY REQUIRE NAPS.

PUT DOUBLE ESPRESSO IN THEIR SIPPY CUPS.

[all laughing]

WHAT'S NEXT ON THE AGENDA?

WHERE'S MY PEOPLE? WHAT'S COMING UP? WHAT'S THE NEXT THING?

[gasps]

[whispering]

THANK YOU, BOB.

GRAVE NEWS, MY FRIENDS.

DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION TO THE VIDEO SCREEN.

[electronic humming]

OH!

CABLE, INPUT, V.C.R., SATELLITE.

♪ I LOVE TO SING-A ABOUT THE MOON-A AND THE JUNE-A ♪♪

INPUT, SATELLITE, TAPE, MENU, REWIND,

POWER, ON.

[mutters]

IT SEEMS THAT DAMIAN DRAKE'S SON KNOWS ABOUT THE BLUE MONKEY

AND HE IS ON HIS WAY TO LAS VEGAS.

HE MUST NOT FIND THE LOCATION OF THE DIAMOND BEFORE WE DO.

HOW IS THE INTERROGATION GOING?

[grunting]

HE'S ABOUT READY TO CRACK, BOSS!

[groans]

OOH.

OH.

CABLE, INPUT, V.C.R. AND SATELLITE, OFF.

WE CANNOT LET THE GOOD GUYS WIN THIS TIME, PEOPLE.

WE MUST CAPTURE THIS SON OF A SPY,

AND WE MUST LOCATE THE DIAMOND

AND USE ITS POWERS FOR OUR OWN DIABOLICAL ENDS!

[laughing]

[moaning]

COPY THAT TO ALL DEPARTMENTS.

UH, EXCUSE ME, I DIDN'T QUITE GET THAT.

DIDN'T QUITE...

UH, SOMETHING ABOUT CAPTURING THE SON OF A SPY

AND USING THE POWER OF THE DIAMOND FOR OUR DIABOLICAL ENDS.

BE SURE AND USE THE LAUGH.

BECAUSE I LIKE THE LAUGH. DON'T YOU?

AND WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

MARY.

WELL, MARY,

HOW'D YOU LIKE TO DO A LITTLE KISSING LATER?

[gasps]

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY AT FIRST.

SOON THE ACME CORPORATION WILL TOWER

OVER ALL OF CREATION!

(all) ALL OF CREATION!

[laughs]

[all laugh]

(Mr. Chairman) ACME.

(all) ACME.

ACME.

ACME.

[all laughing]

[buzzer sounding]

(V.P. Rhetorical Questions) WAIT A MINUTE.

YES?

WHAT ABOUT THE DUCK?

EXTRA CRISPY.

HELLO?

HELLO?

HELLO?

D.J., I'M NOT HERE TO FIRE YOU AGAIN.

I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF THAT DUCK TOLD YOU WHERE HE WAS GOING.

[water running]

[screaming]

DOESN'T ANYONE KNOCK ANYMORE?

WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME?

WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE THAT...

GREAT.

I JUST FIRED THE SON OF OUR BIGGEST STAR.

THIS HAS BEEN A CAREER-MAKING DAY, KATE.

FIRST YOU GET RID OF THE DUCK THAT EVERYBODY HATES,

BUT THEN, OF COURSE, THEY ALL WANT HIM BACK.

AND WORST OF ALL,

YOU GET INTO A BIG FIGHT WITH BUGS BUNNY

WHO YOU REVERE

AND WHO YOU'VE TRIED TO MODEL YOUR LIFE AFTER.

OH, I HATE TO SEE A GROWN MAN CRY.

ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S A GIRL.

[sobs]

LISTEN, TOOTS, WOULD IT STOP THE WATERWORKS

IF I TOLD YOU DAFFY WAS GOING TO LAS VEGAS WITH THAT GUY D.J.?

IT MIGHT.

WELL, THEN,

HOW'S ABOUT WE TRAVEL IN STYLE IN THIS?

LAS VEGAS, JEEVES.

(male voice) TAKING YOU TO LAS VEGAS.

[engine starting]

[tires screech]

by Elvis Presley playing] ♪♪[Viva Las Vegas

♪ BRIGHT LIGHT CITY GONNA SET MY SOUL ♪

♪ GONNA SET MY SOUL ON FIRE ♪

♪ GOT A WHOLE LOT OF MONEY THAT'S A-READY TO BURN ♪

♪ SO GET THOSE STAKES UP HIGHER ♪

♪ SO VIVA LAS VEGAS ♪

♪ VIVA LAS VEGAS ♪

♪ VIVA, VIVA ♪

♪ LAS VEGAS ♪♪

YOU'VE GOT NO MUSIC IN YOUR SOUL, SISTER.

I AM AWARE OF THAT, YES.

HE SURE WENT FOR ALL THE EXTRAS.

WHAT A MAROON.

DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING. THIS IS DAMIAN DRAKE'S CAR--

LET'S SEE.

(Kate) DONT! NO!

WHAT DOES THIS ONE DO?

EH.

♪♪[lounge music playing]

SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED, SIR.

WELL, IT'S 5:00 SOMEWHERE.

IF YOU TOUCH ONE MORE THING--

SHH, I'M ABOUT TO DEFY YOU.

[beeping]

NOW YOU DONE IT.

ARMS AT YOUR SIDE, PLEASE.

[Kate screaming]

[grunts]

FORMALWEAR ACTIVATED.

EH, YOU CLEAN UP NICE, KID.

OH, NO!

SO...

♪ VIVA, VIVA ♪

♪ LAS VEGAS ♪♪

[engine sputtering]

(Daffy) WHOO-HOO! LAS VEGAS!

by Junior Senior playing] ♪♪[Move Your Feet

♪ GO DOWN, DOWN, OH, YEAH ♪

♪ GO DOWN, DOWN ♪

♪ GO DOWN, DOWN ♪

♪ DON'T STOP, DON'T STOP THE BEAT ♪

♪ WON'T STOP, WON'T STOP THE BEAT AND GO ♪♪

SMELL THAT, D.J.?

THAT'S THE SWEET AROMA OF MONEY, GLAMOUR,

AND BUSLOAD UPON BUSLOAD OF SENIOR CITIZENS.

COOL IT, DUCK. THIS COULD BE DANGEROUS.

RIGHT, WE FIND DUSTY TAILS,

SAVE YOUR DAD, GET THE DIAMOND,

APPLY KUNG FU LIBERALLY AS NEEDED.

[chop-socky cries]

(Mr. Chairman) UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOU TO ALLOW

THE YOUNG MR. DRAKE AND HIS DUCK COHORT

OUT OF THE CASINO IN ONE PIECE.

IS THAT CLEAR?

OK. YOU WANT THE VARMINTS AND WHAT THEY COME FOR.

I GOT YOU. BUT WHAT'S IN IT FOR OLD SAM?

[laughing]

[shrieking]

[birds twittering]

I GOT YOU.

[people cheering]

DID YOU KNOW THAT DUSTY TAILS SANG

THE THEME SONG TO 6 DAMIAN DRAKE MOVIES?

YEAH, I KNOW. HE'S MY FATHER, REMEMBER?

YOUR DAD IS DAMIAN DRAKE?

YES!

I'M KIDDING, RELAX. WE DID THAT, OK?

(Foghorn Leghorn) I SAY, I SAY, LISTEN UP, Y'ALL.

PLEASE PUT YOUR GREASY, BUFFET-SHOVELING HANDS TOGETHER

FOR OUR NEXT ACT.

IF YOU'VE HEARD HER BEFORE, YOU'RE NOT HERE NOW.

SO, I SAY, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU

TO MISS DUSTY TAILS.

[audience cheering]

♪ IF YOU WANT IT TO BE GOOD, BOY ♪

♪ GET YOURSELF A BAD GIRL ♪

[audience hooting]

♪ IF YOU WANT IT TO BE WILD ♪

♪ GOTTA KNOW JUST WHO TO DIAL, BABY ♪

♪ AND THAT'S ME ♪

♪ IF YOU REALLY LIKE IT HOT ♪

♪ GET SOMEONE WHO HITS THE SPOT, HONEY ♪

♪ OH, YEAH ♪

HEY, DUSTY!

HEY, DUSTY!

DUSTY, CAN I TALK TO YOU?

DUSTY.

COME...

♪ GET YOURSELF A BAD GIRL ♪

♪ BAD GIRL ♪

HEY, LET GO OF ME! WHAT THE...

♪ BAD GIRL ♪

♪ BAD GIRL ♪

♪ BAD GIRL ♪

♪ GET IT LIKE IT COULD BE, BABY, WOULD BE, BABY ♪♪

WHAT?

[audience laughing]

DUSTY, I GOTTA TALK TO YOU.

I'M DAMIAN DRAKE'S SON, D.J.

WHAT?

HOW DO I KNOW IT'S YOU?

OH, YOU ARE DAMIAN'S SON.

IS THERE SOMEPLACE WE CAN TALK?

[grunts]

EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO CHANGE.

OK, TOOTS, HAND OVER THE DIAMOND.

HE BROUGHT A GOOSE?

IT'S DUCK, THANK YOU.

AH, HI. UH...

YOU AGAIN.

LISTEN UP, YOU DARN IMBECILES!

WE GOTTA GET THEM VARMINTS AND WHAT THEY COME FOR!

AND THEN WE BLAST THEM?

THEN WE BLAST THEM.

NOW IF I WERE A GIANT DIAMOND, WHERE WOULD I BE? OW!

WELL, NOT THERE.

SO, MY, UH, DAD'S IN TROUBLE...

NOT HERE.

...AND, UH, HE SAID THAT I SHOULD ASK YOU ABOUT THE BLUE MONKEY.

SO THEN YOU KNOW?

OH, DEFINITELY. YES.

I FIGURED SOMETHING MUST HAVE HAPPENED WHEN HE DIDN'T SHOW UP.

I'M SORRY, BUT THAT'S WHAT COMES WITH BEING A SPY.

SO, YOU'RE, UM, A SPY, TOO?

THE POP DIVA THING?

THAT'S JUST ONE SIDE OF ME.

I ALSO WORK FOR THE AGENCY.

PROFESSIONAL ASSASSIN. [gasping]

IT'S REALLY HARD TRYING TO JUGGLE THE TWO SOMETIMES.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO WHEN I HAVE KIDS. [zipping]

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A NANNY

WITH ADVANCE WEAPONS TRAINING?

[Daffy whistling]

HOO-HOO! HOW MANY GALOSHES DIED TO MAKE THAT LITTLE NUMBER?

WHAT ABOUT THIS BLUE MONKEY?

YOUR FATHER'S ASSIGNMENT WAS TO TRACK IT DOWN BEFORE THE CHAIRMAN COULD.

THE DIAMOND HAS SUPERNATURAL POWERS.

IT WOULD BE A DISASTER IF IT FELL INTO THE WRONG HANDS.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO GIVE HIM THIS.

THIS IS NOT A KING-SIZED DIAMOND.

THIS IS A QUEEN OF DIAMONDS.

WHAT KIND OF SICK JOKE IS THIS?

CAN I HAVE THAT?

VERY FUNNY.

THAT IS SO SWEET.

YOU TRYING TO TAKE OVER FOR YOUR FATHER.

THESE EVIL FORCES? THEY'RE BAD PEOPLE.

RELAX, SISTER.

I DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD "FEAR."

SAY YOUR PRAYERS, DUCK!

FEAR: NOUN. A STATE OF TERROR.

[gasping]

INCOMING!

[exclaiming]

[whistling]

[squealing]

A MISSION LIKE THIS NEEDS YEARS OF EXPERIENCE AND TRAINING.

MAYBE. I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THAT RIGHT NOW.

I GOTTA GO SAVE MY DAD.

DON'T LOSE THAT CARD. IT'S IMPORTANT.

AFTER HIM, BOYS!

[laughs]

[grunts]

[groaning]

[grunting]

[both groaning]

[sighing]

[audience cheering]

[groaning]

EASY ON THE FEATHERS.

[guns firing]

COME BACK HERE, YOU CARD-CARRYING COYOTE!

YIKES!

DADBURN SLAPSTICK CLICHE!

FASTER, FASTER! CLIMB LIKE MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT.

YOU RUN, I'LL STEER.

RIGHT! I MEAN, LEFT. YOUR OTHER LEFT.

DAFFY!

[grunting]

[laughing]

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

[grunting]

IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?

OOH!

THAT'S GONNA LEAVE A MARK.

[laughing]

WHOA!

THAT'S NOT BOXING. BITE HIS EAR!

[chop-socky cries]

(Daffy) LEFT AND A RIGHT AND A LEFT AND A RIGHT-LEFT!

[grunting]

(Cottontail) I'M GONNA COME UP ON YOU.

[people exclaiming]

[grunting]

I'LL TAKE THAT PLAYING CARD.

AH, OOH!

AFTER IT, STUNT BOY.

OH, MAN.

(Daffy) JUMP, JUMP!

[grunting]

[yelling]

[dogs barking]

[machine rattling]

ALL RIGHT, WHEN I SAY, PLACE YOUR BETS, GENTLEMEN.

MONEY PLAYS, LOSER STAYS.

EVERYONE'S A.... NOT EVERYONE.

HERE'S MY MONEY. NOW PLAY.

CARD, SIR?

HIT ME.

DON'T YOU WANT TO LOOK AT YOUR CARDS FIRST, SON?

BOY'S ABOUT AS SHARP AS A BOWLING BALL.

HIT ME.

NO, HIT ME FIRST!

I SAID AWAIT YOUR TURN, SIR.

HIT ME.

HIT ME.

HIT ME.

HIT ME.

HIT ME.

(D.J.) HIT ME. HIT ME.

NO, NO, NO, HIT ME, FRAGNABBIT!

HE'S THE BOSS.

YOU SON-OF-A-GALL-DARN...

CARD, SIR?

H-HIT ME.

(Foghorn Leghorn) 21, A WINNER!

LET'S GO!

[people exclaiming]

(Daffy) "AND THEN THEY MADE THEIR HEROIC ESCAPE!"

I SAY WE DO CIRQUE DU SOLEIL AND CALL IT A NIGHT.

HOW ABOUT THE LIBERACE MUSEUM?

ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE WHAT THIS BABY CAN REALLY DO.

[engine sputtering]

NOW, THAT'S AN INTERESTING FEATURE.

COME BACK, YOU ABSCONDERS!

HEY, WATCH YOURSELF, MA'AM.

[smooching]

I LOVE THIS RUG.

HEY, COME BACK HERE, YOU VARMINTS!

RUN. MOVE. GO.

[cars honking]

(Daffy) NICE CAR.

DON'T HIT ME.

IT'S A MODIFIED CHEVROLET WITH A BIG 24 ON THE SIDE.

[car engine revving]

OUT OF THE WAY, FANCY BOY.

I'M A-COMMANDEERING THIS HERE CLOWN CAR.

AFTER THEM, BOYS!

(Nasty) SHOTGUN!

RAG-FLAGGING RAGTAG SIDEKICKS!

SLOW DOWN, WILL YOU? I'M WADDLING HERE.

COME BACK, YOU DARN IDIOT GALOOTS!

THERE'S GOTTA BE 314 HOTELS AND 142 CASINOS IN LAS VEGAS.

WE ARE NEVER GOING TO FIND THAT DUCK.

[Daffy exclaiming]

[screaming]

[car brakes squealing]

[gasps]

HEH-HEH, DAFF NEVER MISSES A CUE.

[squeaking]

[gasps]

WHAT'S UP, DUCK?

DON'T YOU START WITH ME.

EXCUSE ME.

YOU!

YOU. HIM.

HER. THEM! THEM!

OUT OF MY WAY!

[people exclaiming]

DAGNABBIT!

YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE, MISTER.

AGREED!

[Kate screaming]

OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, KIDNAPPING ME?

STOP THE CAR.

(Daffy) THIS IS MY ADVENTURE, BUB.

♪ SPARKS FLY ♪

♪ I HIT THE GROUND RUNNING ♪

♪ I'M IN THE AIR ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD ♪

♪ GOOD WORK NEVER COMES EASY ♪

(Bugs) COMING THROUGH.

[Bugs yells]

♪ HEY, DRIVER, TO THE TOP OF THE WORLD ♪

SO WHAT BRINGS YOU TO LAS VEGAS?

YOU RAN OUT OF PEOPLE TO FIRE IN L.A.?

YOU STOLE MY DUCK.

YOUR DUCK? BAH! I BELONG TO THE WORLD.

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN HAVE HIM.

♪ WESTBOUND ♪

♪ LEAVE THE MOTOR RUNNING BECAUSE I'M ON THE RUN ♪

♪ IN THIS CROWDED WORLD ♪

♪ I'LL BE HIGH WAITING WHEN THE LAST TRAIN COMES ♪

DYNAMITE? WHO HAS DYNAMITE?

WELCOME TO MY WORLD.

[laughing fiendishly]

HANG ON.

[car horn honking]

[tires squealing]

[car horns blaring]

THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW. THROW IT OUT! THROW IT OUT!

BUT INNOCENT PEOPLE COULD BE HURT.

THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW!

IT WILL SEND THE WRONG MESSAGE TO CHILDREN.

[groaning]

[Daffy exclaims]

DIDN'T HE USED TO BE BEHIND US?

[screaming]

♪ SPARKS FLY ♪

♪ I HIT THE GROUND RUNNING ♪

♪ I'M IN THE AIR ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD ♪

♪ GOOD WORK NEVER COMES EASY ♪

♪ HEY, DRIVER, TO THE TOP OF THE WORLD ♪

WE'RE HAVING DUCK TONIGHT, BOYS.

JUST A SUGGESTION, BUT ALL THOSE IN FAVOR

OF NOT HITTING THAT WALL SAY "AYE."

(both) AYE!

MOTHER.

(car computer) TAKING YOU TO MOTHER.

♪ HEY, DRIVER, TO THE TOP OF THE WORLD ♪

♪ HEY, DRIVER, TO THE TOP OF THE WORLD ♪

♪ HEY, DRIVER, TO THE TOP OF THE WORLD ♪

OH-OH.

♪ HEY, DRIVER, TO THE TOP OF THE WORLD ♪♪

[people screaming]

[groaning]

[crashing]

OOH!

[yelling]

OH, LOOK, A SHOOTING STAR. (Bugs)

QUICK, EVERYBODY MAKE A WISH.

HUH! YOU KNOW, I'M BEGINNING TO THINK THAT THIS ONE IS THE SPY CAR.

WHAT?

(car computer) E.T.A. TO MOTHER, 10 MINUTES.

♪ COME FLY WITH ME ♪

♪ LET'S FLY, LET'S FLY AWAY ♪

♪ IF YOU CAN USE SOME EXOTIC BOOZE ♪

(airline attendant) PLEASE RETURN YOUR SEATBACKS

TO THEIR FULL AND UPRIGHT POSITION.

SO, WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS NOW, IF I MAY ASK?

DAFFY WILL SAVE US. HE'S THE HERO.

ALL RIGHT, BUCKTOOTH. STICK A CARROT IN IT.

HEY, EVERYBODY CALM DOWN, ALL RIGHT?

I CAN HANDLE THIS.

[beeping] AH!

[all screaming]

[coughing]

[screaming]

SELL MY WARNER BROTHERS STOCK.

I GOT AN INSIDE TIP THAT BUGS BUNNY IS ABOUT TO DIE.

[brakes squealing]

[sighing]

[crickets chirping]

(Bugs) HUH, OUT OF GAS.

(Kate) WHAT? IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT.

[horn blaring]

[alarm beeping]

(Bugs) THANKS, TOOTS.

[wolf howling]

EH, CARROT?

NO, THANKS.

YOU REALLY THINK THAT PLAYING CARD

IS GOING TO HELP YOU RESCUE YOUR FATHER?

MMM-HMM, YEAH, I DO.

YOU KNOW THIS ALL SOUNDS INSANE, RIGHT?

[Kate sighing]

I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOUR DAD IN THE MOVIES.

YEAH.

SO BREATHTAKING.

HMM.

YOUR HAIR SMELLS NICE.

HMM? YOU SAY SOMETHING?

NO, JUST SAYING GOOD NIGHT.

I'M TELLING YOU, DAFFY,

I HEARD THE WARNER BROTHERS SAY YOU WERE THEIR BEST DUCK.

FLATTERED THOUGH I MAY BE, FLATTENED I WILL NOT

IN ORDER FOR YOU TO GET THE LAUGHS.

IT'S ALL "HOO-HOO", "YUCK, YUCK" AND THEN BAM, WHAM, BLAM!

AND YOUR TAIL IS ON FIRE.

EXACTLY MY POINT. THE--

NO, REALLY, YOUR TAIL'S ON FIRE.

[shrieking]

[chuckling]

DAFF, YOU'RE ACCIDENT-PRONE.

[panting]

WHAT AM I TALKING TO YOU FOR?

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS MUNCH ON A CARROT, AND PEOPLE LOVE YOU.

[owl hooting]

SO I NEED YOU TO MOVE MY 12:00 APPOINTMENT

UP TO 2:00 AND THEN BACK TO 11:00.

AND THEN JUST CANCEL IT.

AND I NEED YOU TO GET A HELICOPTER AND, UH...

NO, NO, DON'T PUT ME ON HOLD.

OH, GOD.

[crying]

I CAN'T DIE OUT HERE.

OH, THIS WASN'T THE PLAN.

AFTER THIS COMEDY,

HA-HA-HA-HA,

I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULD ONLY DO REAL MOVIES

ABOUT THE HUMAN CONDITION CRAMMED WITH SOCIAL RELEVANCE.

THERE'S NOTHING BUT A BIG ROCK FOR 10 MILES IN THAT, THAT,

THAT, AND THAT DIRECTION.

SO I SAY WE GO THAT WAY.

SAY, WHO ARE YOU KIDDING HERE?

WE'RE GONERS!

WATER! I CAN'T DIE NOW.

THINK OF THE MILLIONS OF CHILDREN

WHO WANT ME TO HAVE THE DIAMOND.

OH, THE POOR CHILDREN!

LOOK AT THAT.

♪ WAL-MART ♪♪

IS IT A MIRAGE? OR JUST PRODUCT PLACEMENT?

WHO CARES? WITH SHOPPING CONVENIENCE AT SUCH LOW PRICES.

WATER, FRESCA, MOUNTAIN DEW.

YOUR PRODUCT NAME HERE.

[cheering]

IS THIS YOUR IDEA?

THE AUDIENCE EXPECTS IT.

THEY DON'T EVEN NOTICE THIS KIND OF THING ANYMORE.

(Bugs) NICE OF WAL-MART

TO PROVIDE THESE WAL-MART BEVERAGES

IN RETURN FOR US SAYING "WAL-MART" SO MANY TIMES.

OH!

[television buzzing]

[grunts]

WHERE'S YOSEMITE SAM?

[grunts]

AH! WHAT IS YOUR REPORT?

NOW, BOSS, IT WASN'T ME.

THAT RAZZAN-FRAZZAN DUCK AND THAT CRAZY SON D.J.,

AND A HUMINA-HUMINA DUSTY TAILS.

UH, WELL...

YOU KNOW, THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE.

THANK YOU.

[Yosemite Sam shrieks]

[glass shattering]

[Yosemite Sam screaming]

WELL, MR. DRAKE, ARE YOU GOING TO SAVE US

THE BOTHER OF ELIMINATING YOUR SON?

MY SON IS GOING TO KICK YOUR EVIL BUTT.

[alarm buzzing]

MR. CHAIRMAN.

(Mr. Chairman) YES, DAD.

DESERT OPERATIVE.

(all) NO.

NOT A BAD IDEA, DAD.

[all agreeing]

OUR DESERT OPERATIVE IS DUE FOR A WIN.

BEEP, BEEP.

BEEP, BEEP.

[telephone ringing]

I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD HAVE MADE THAT LEFT TURN AT ALBUQUERQUE.

(Daffy) DON'T START THAT AGAIN.

[beeping]

BEEP BEEP.

ALL RIGHT. HERE'S THE PLAN.

WE WAIT HERE FOR THE NEXT TRUCK OR CAR OR CAMEL OR WHATEVER

AND TAKE BUGS AND DAFFY,

GET BACK TO HOLLYWOOD AND FINISH MAKING THE MOVIE.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

I'M JUST GONNA KEEP WALKING THAT WAY.

THAT'S YOUR PLAN?

YEP. THAT'S THE DIRECTION THE CAR WAS GOING.

YOU'RE NOT LEAVING ME HERE WHILE YOU MAKE OFF WITH MY DIAMOND.

[beeping]

UH, I DON'T WANNA GET TOO WRAPPED UP IN YOUR LITTLE CAPER HERE,

BUT LET'S ASSUME THAT YOU'RE RIGHT AND DAMIAN DRAKE IS A SPY?

SUPER SPY.

UM, WHAT'S THE POINT OF JUST MEANDERING THROUGH THE DESERT IF...

HERE.

BE SAFE.

ATTABOY. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.

OH, YEAH.

EXCEPT FOR THE WATER TOWER, THE BATMOBILE,

THE RUBBLE KNOWN AS LAS VEGAS.

HEY,

THERE'S NOBODY AS RICH, FAMOUS, AND POWERFUL AS MY FATHER

WHO JUST DISAPPEARS INTO THIN AIR.

[D.J. yells]

[rippling]

SUDDENLY I FEEL LIKE I'M IN AUNT MARGE'S JELL-O MOLD.

HEY, GUYS, IT'S AIR-CONDITIONED IN HERE.

COME ON IN.

[Kate shrieks]

[alarm beeping]

(computerized voice) INTRUDER ALERT.

INTRUDER ALERT.

[growling]

[screaming]

[yelling]

[squeaking]

EASY, EASY. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

[yelping]

EARTH FREAK.

[gasping]

OK, BUSTER. WHERE'S DAMIAN DRAKE AND THAT BIG DIAMOND?

CLEANUP ON AISLE 3.

CAN I BE OF SERVICE?

I AM MONITORED TO RESPOND TO THE NAME ROBBIE.

HI, D.J.

AT EASE, AT EASE. I'M MOTHER.

OOH, YEAH, LIKE THE CAR SAID THAT WE WOULD BE MEETING YOU.

HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?

OH, D.J., I'VE KNOWN YOU SINCE YOU WERE THIS BIG.

THAT'S--THAT'S NOT REALLY POSSIBLE, IS IT?

MUST HAVE BEEN A PHOTO.

LET ME JUST TAKE CARE OF THIS, AND WE'LL...

GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT. HOW BAD IS IT?

SO, SHALL WE?

SO LITTLE TO DO, SO MUCH TIME.

WHOA, WHOA, YOU'RE GOING TO PUT HIM BACK, RIGHT?

'CAUSE I CAN'T GO BACK TO L.A. WITH DUCK SOUP.

WE DO HAVE THE FACILITIES TO RECONSTITUTE THE BODY.

THE MIND THOUGH, WILL REMAIN A GOOEY MESS.

UH, SO, ABOUT MY FATHER?

ALL IN DUE TIME. LOVELY. YES. BLOW.

(Daffy) ALL RIGHT, BREAK IT UP, FELLAS. NICE COATS.

WHITE IS THE NEW BLACK, YOU KNOW.

YES.

[giggling]

OH, LOOK.

(Bugs) SO THIS IS AREA 51, RIGHT?

(Mother) NO.

THE SECRET MILITARY BASE... NO.

...WHERE THEY KEEP THE ALIENS?

NO, AREA 51 IS ACTUALLY A PARANOID FANTASY WE CONCOCTED

TO HIDE THE TRUE IDENTITY OF THIS FACILITY.

WHICH IS?

AREA 52.

BUT DON'T QUOTE ME ON THAT.

OH, RIGHT. AREA 52.

[cuckoo clock chiming]

(D.J.) SO, UH, MOTHER--

OH, CALL ME "MOM."

UH, MOM, WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DO HERE EXACTLY, ANYWAY?

CREATION, TRANSUBSTANTIATION,

DESTRUCTION. ALL KINDS OF THINGS.

THEY'RE ALREADY HERE. YOU'RE NEXT.

YOU'RE NEXT.

MY GOD, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU?

YOU'VE DONE NOTHING BUT SCREW UP!

YOU'VE WALKED OFF MESAS.

YOU'VE BEEN SMASHED BY BOULDERS.

YOU'VE BEEN RUN OVER BY DIESEL TRUCKS.

AND DON'T BLAME THE EQUIPMENT. THE EQUIPMENT IS GOOD.

IT'S ACME EQUIPMENT.

YOU'RE A COYOTE. BE WILY.

ALL RIGHT, NOW.

BUCK UP AND LET'S SEE A LITTLE SMILE.

LITTLE BIGGER.

LITTLE BIGGER.

OH, THAT'S NICE.

NOW, JUST GO TAKE A SHOWER, AND DON'T COME BACK TILL YOU SMELL BETTER!

[sighs]

BE CAREFUL. THERE'RE MEN MOVING A SAFE OUT THERE,

AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO... [thudding]

AND BE CAREFUL OF THE BOX OF FIREWORKS BECAUSE...

[fireworks exploding]

I SUPPOSE I SHOULD MENTION THE PLATE-GLASS WINDOW...

[glass shattering]

OH, IT'S TOUGH BEING THE BOSS.

[phone ringing]

AH, A COMMUNICATION.

(Marvin) MEMO TO MARVIN THE MARTIAN.

♪♪[singing]

[static buzzing]

OBTAIN THE PLAYING CARD, AND DESTROY THE DUCK.

AND WHEN I SAY DESTROY THE DUCK,

I MEAN KILL HIM VICIOUSLY AND PAINFULLY.

A MISSION? I'M ALL A-TINGLE.

SO, HERE WE ARE IN THE I-CAN'T-TELL-YOU-WHAT ROOM.

ROBERT, CAN YOU TAKE CARE OF THAT, PLEASE?

YES, MADAM.

EH, DOC, WHEN YOU BRING DAFFY BACK, COULD YOU MAKE HIM 20% FUNNIER?

(Daffy) I HEARD THAT.

WHAT WERE WE DISCUSSING?

THIS ISN'T ABOUT THE GIANT ANTS, IS IT?

GIANT ANTS?

BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT REALLY ANTS ANYMORE.

TELL ME ABOUT THE BLUE MONKEY.

HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT THING

THAT I'VE NEVER HEARD OF IN MY ENTIRE LIFE?

MY DAD TOLD ME.

WHAT IS THE POINT OF MAKING THEM PINKY SWEAR?

(Mother) ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

NOW THIS TAPE WILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.

IT WAS PREPARED ESPECIALLY FOR YOUR FATHER.

GREETINGS, DAMIAN DRAKE.

IF YOU ARE WATCHING THIS, YOU ARE AWARE

THAT THE WORLD INDEED IS IN GRAVE DANGER.

THE ACME CORPORATION

IS IN HOT PURSUIT OF THE BLUE MONKEY DIAMOND,

A SUPERNATURAL GEM

WITH THE ABILITY TO TURN PEOPLE INTO MONKEYS

AND THEN BACK AGAIN.

IT IS THE ACME CHAIRMAN'S GOAL TO TURN THE POPULATION

INTO MONKEY SLAVES

TO MANUFACTURE SHODDY ACME GOODS,

AND THEN CHANGE THEM BACK TO PEOPLE TO BUY THE STUFF.

UNBELIEVABLE.

UNBELIEVABLE, YOU MAY SAY.

YOUR MISSION IS THIS:

FIND IT, DESTROY IT, SAVE HUMANITY.

[cheering]

AND REMEMBER, NO ONE WANTS TO BE TURNED INTO A MONKEY.

SO THAT'S WHY.

THOSE GUYS CAME AFTER MY DAD

BECAUSE MY DAD WAS GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD.

SO THAT MEANS IF I GO AFTER THE DIAMOND,

THEN THE BAD GUYS COME AFTER ME.

WHOA, HANG ON.

YOU'RE NOT SERIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT--

TAKING OVER YOUR FATHER'S MISSION?

I GUESS THAT WOULD BE ALL RIGHT.

WHAT?

LISTEN, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE A SPY,

YOU'LL NEED SPY STUFF.

SO, IS THIS WHERE YOU KEEP ALL THE HIGH-TECH SPY GADGETS?

[beeping]

YES.

OH! WOW! OH, YEAH, THAT--

THAT'S COOL. SO I GET TO USE ALL THIS STUFF?

NO, YOUR STUFF IS OVER HERE.

BUT I REALLY LIKE THE...

ALL RIGHT. SO, LOOKS LIKE AN ORDINARY CELL PHONE.

3-WAY CALLING, VOICE DIALING, DOWNLOADABLE RINGTONES.

[ringing]

MY PHONE DOES ALL THAT.

SUPERCONDUCTING ELECTROMAGNET.

[D.J. groans]

OOH, SORRY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

G.P.S. WITH MAPPING SOFTWARE,

TIP CALCULATOR, GAMEBOY.

GAMEBOY?

[buzzing]

HIGH-POWERED LASER.

POLYCARBONATE RAPPELLING LINE WITH JET-PROPELLED MICRO GRAPPLING HOOK.

NOSE HAIR TRIMMER.

YOU ALWAYS WANT TO LOOK YOUR BEST.

GET OVER HERE, YOU IDIOT.

NO, COLD. COLD. WARM, WARMER.

HEY!

[crashing]

PERMIT ME, MADAM.

ROBERT, DARLING. EXCELLENT CHOICE.

[whistling] SWANK PANTS.

OH, AND COMFORTABLE, TOO.

PLUS, LIQUID HYDROGEN ROCKET POCKETS, HERE AND HERE.

AND STITCHING, NUCLEAR-POWERED CROTCH PAD...

[Daffy screaming]

HE'LL BE DOWN IN A MOMENT.

WAKEY, WAKEY, FRIENDS.

TIME TO WREAK MAYHEM IN THE CAUSE OF EVIL.

MOTHER, UH, JUST ONE LAST QUESTION.

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THIS CARD?

WELL, THAT IS THE WINDOW

INTO WHAT LIES BEHIND HER SMILE.

(all) WHAT?

I'M SORRY, IT'S OUR INTELLIGENCE PEOPLE.

THEY FEEL A NEED TO CODE EVERYTHING IN A RIDDLE.

I THINK THEY GET SOME KIND OF

PERVERSE PLEASURE OUT OF IT.

I THINK IT'S CORPORATE.

[animals squawking]

(Robot) ALL HUMANS.

EH, LOOKS LIKE WE GOT COMPANY.

[barking]

[growling]

YIPES!

ILLEGAL ALIENS.

[snorting]

EXTERMINATE THEM.

DARN. I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME.

(Robot) LET US EXTERMINATE THEM.

[beeping]

[siren blaring]

(woman over P.A system) EMERGENCY SHUTDOWN ACTIVATED.

FORCE-BARRIER SEAL IN 30 SECONDS.

EXTERMINATE.

[both gasping]

[creatures growling]

THE PLAYING CARD, PLEASE.

(Daffy) I'LL TAKE THAT.

OUT OF MY WAY. HERO COMING THROUGH.

(Robot) THERE IS NO ESCAPE.

[grunting]

(Marvin) YOU PESKY FOWL!

OH!

YUM-YUM.

[exclaiming]

[animal screeching]

ISN'T IT ABOUT TIME TO ENJOY A FROSTY,

COLD SODA AT THE CONCESSION STAND?

(Robot) EXTERMINATE!

GET THE LEAD OUT. BUS IS LEAVING.

4, 3...

HALT AND BE FRICASSEED.

[all panting]

THAT WAS FUN.

UH, LOOKING FOR THIS?

NOW, WHAT DID SHE MEAN BY A WINDOW?

THE WINDOW INTO WHAT LIES BEHIND HER SMILE.

(D.J.) THAT'S THE MONA LISA.

WHICH IS IN THE LOUVRE.

WHICH IS IN PARIS.

SO JUST HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET TO PARIS?

LIKE THIS.

[cars honking]

IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE MUCH OF A WINDOW TO ME.

MAYBE THE DIAMOND IS IN THE PAINTING.

ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS STEAL THE MONA LISA.

WAY AHEAD OF YOU.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO, NO, YOU LOOK, YOU DON'T TOUCH, RIGHT?

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

BUT I'M ALREADY IN COSTUME.

THAT'S A GOOD LOOK FOR YOU.

DO YOU REALLY THINK SO?

WAIT A MINUTE.

(Daffy) AHA! IT IS A WINDOW.

[Kate exclaiming]

IT'S AN X-RAY.

(DJ) OOPS, SORRY.

[D.J. whistling]

IT'S A MAP OF AFRICA. MAYBE THAT'S WHERE THE DIAMOND IS.

HOLD IT UP. I'LL TAKE A PICTURE.

WELL, HEY, CAN I TAKE A PICTURE? OH, PLEASE?

(Daffy) COME ON, GIVE ME YOUR PHONE.

I WANT TO TAKE A PICTURE, TOO. COME ON.

(Bugs) CHEESE IT, THE COPS.

HE'S GONE.

SO, COME ON, LET ME TAKE A PICTURE, WILL YOU?

I WANT TO TAKE A PICTURE, TOO.

COME ON, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE?

CAN I HOLD THE WINDOW? LET ME SEE THE WINDOW.

I'LL TAKE THAT!

[gasps]

EM, WHAT GIVES, DOC?

WE MADE 35 PICTURES TOGETHER.

WELL, AS IT TURNS OUT, I'M SECRETLY EVIL.

THAT'S SHOW BIZ FOR YOU.

NOW MAKE WITH THE CARD,

SO I CAN PLEASE MY DARK MASTERS.

YES, SIR. QUEEN OF DIAMONDS IS YOUR CARD.

JUST PUT IT BACK IN THE DECK, ANYWHERE IS FINE.

AND OOPSIE-DAISY, AHA!

IS THIS YOUR CARD?

NO.

NO. THIS?

NO. THIS?

NO. THIS?

NO. THIS?

UH-UH. RUN. THIS?

NO. THIS?

NO. THIS?

I SAID IT'S THE QUEEN OF DIAMONDS, I TELL YOU.

YOU MEAN, LIKE THIS ONE?

(Elmer) I'M GONNA BLAST...

THINK WE SHOULD GO BACK AND HELP HIM?

NAH, ELMER NEVER GETS BUGS. IT'S A FORMULA, BUT IT WORKS.

THE GREAT THING ABOUT MOVIES,

YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

FOR INSTANCE, IF THIS WAS A MOVIE,

YOU AND I'D PROBABLY WIND UP TOGETHER.

[Kate grunting]

IF YOU DON'T LET GO OF ME, I'LL SCREAM,

BUT I'M NOT GONNA STOP SCREAMING!

[Kate screaming]

[both laughing]

[tape dragging]

WELL, THIS IS SURREAL.

STOP OR I'LL FIRE.

[Daffy chuckling]

[gun firing]

[all grunting]

[screaming]

[laughing]

[screaming]

♪♪[music playing]

HELLO.

OH, MY.

LADIES, PLEASE.

[groaning]

[Kate grunting]

(D.J.) HEY!

GENDARME!

OUI, MONSIEUR?

THERE'S A MAN THERE. HE'S GOT A WOMAN.

SHE'S TIED UP IN A BURLAP SACK.

HE'S TAKING HER TO THE EIFFEL TOWER.

AH, IT IS SPRING, IS IT NOT?

OH, I'M GONNA BLAST YOU.

AW, SHUCKS.

[Elmer laughing]

"POINTILLISM: A TECHNIQUE

"OF USING INDIVIDUAL DOTS OF PIGMENT

"WHICH, TAKEN TOGETHER, MAKE AN IMAGE."

OH, CRUD.

I THINK WHEN YOU GO TO THE MOVIES,

YOU SHOULD LEARN SOMETHING.

EXCUSEZ-MOI. PARDONNEZ-MOI.

PARDONNEZ-MOI. EXCUSEZ-MOI.

[people murmuring]

[laughing]

LOOK AT THAT, PA. OH, DEAR.

NOW, THERE'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAY.

[both laughing]

YOU.

HUH? COME HERE.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

I DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I JUST WANT YOUR PANTS!

THAT'S RIGHT. I'M A VICIOUS BIRD OF PREY.

MERCI.

[grunting]

[Kate screaming]

(Kate) HE'S GOT THE CAMERA!

HEY! GIVE THE GIRL BACK!

[screaming]

[siren blaring]

[gasping]

[gasps]

[gasps]

EH, WHAT KEPT YOU?

YOU OK?

THAT WAS GREAT.

[patron] SACRE BLEU!

OH, I'D SAY IT'S A PERFECT DAY.

EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT WE LOST THE MAP.

WE?

ALL RIGHT, I'M THE JERK WHO LOST THE MAP.

AND I'M THE BUNNY WHO SAVED THE CARD. VOILA.

HEY, NICE GOING, BUGS.

AFRICA.

CHAIR PEOPLE, I REVEAL TO YOU

THE WHEREABOUTS OF THE BLUE MONKEY.

[laughing]

ALL RIGHT.

OH!

WELL, THERE'S A DUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MAP.

REMOVE THE DUCK.

REMOVE THE DUCK! THE DUCK IS IN THE--

DUCK!

[glass shattering]

OH.

NOW, WE CANNOT LET A BOY, GIRL, DUCK, AND RABBIT

THWART OUR PLANS FOR GLOBAL DOMINATION.

WANNA BET?

A WAGER?

$5 SAYS MY SON WILL SCUTTLE

YOUR DIABOLICAL PLANS AND SAVE THE WORLD.

YOU'RE AWFULLY SPUNKY FOR A MAN IN YOUR POSITION.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, MR. SLAP YOURSELF IN YOUR OWN FACE?

GIVE HIM A GOOD ZETS EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.

MY PLEASURE.

(Mr. Chairman) NOW, I THINK I'M GOING TO HEDGE MY BET.

I'M GOING TO UNLEASH OUR MOST VICIOUS OPERATIVE.

[growling]

[buzzing]

UH, MR. CHAIRMAN, WHILE WE AGREE

THAT THE TASMANIAN DEVIL IS QUITE VICIOUS,

IF MEMORY SERVES, HE IS ALSO REALLY STUPID.

REALLY? WELL, SO ARE YOU.

THAT'S A GOOD BOY.

[belching]

[buzzing]

I WITHDRAW MY OBJECTION.

[birds screeching]

(Bugs) THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT EASIER UNDERGROUND.

COME ON, IT'S ONLY ANOTHER 6,000 CUBITS

IN THIS HERE THICK DIRECTION.

[gasping]

[elephant trumpeting]

(Tweety) LOOK, GRANNY,

IT'S THAT NICE BOY FROM NEXT DOOR.

(Granny) OH, LITTLE DAMIAN.

HOW FUNNY SEEING YOU HERE, DEAR.

HI, GRANNY.

WOULD YOU AND YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS LIKE A LIFT?

GIDDYUP, DUMBO.

EM, SURE WAS A LUCKY COINCIDENCE

YOU SHOWING UP JUST NOW.

YES, WASN'T IT?

[birds chirping]

I'VE DISCOVERED MY ROOTS.

I'VE DISCOVERED MY LUNCH.

[chuckling]

[groaning]

CRY FREEDOM!

(Daffy) WHAT A FANTASTIC VIEW.

(Bugs) UNLESS YOU'RE IN THE AUDIENCE

IN WHICH CASE YOU'VE BEEN STARING

AT AN ELEPHANT'S BEHIND FOR 30 SECONDS.

[elephant trumpeting]

MY DESTINY AWAITS.

[monkeys screeching]

I GUESS THIS IS OUR STOP.

ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR ADVENTURE, CHILDREN.

[lava bubbling]

THIS IS THE BLUE MONKEY?

THIS DIME-STORE BAUBLE?

UH-OH.

I'VE BEEN ROOKED. SHAFTED BY THE GODS.

NICE GOING, DAFFY.

I DEMAND RECOMPENSE.

I WANT MY DIAMOND.

WHERE IS MY HUMONGOUS ROCK?

HAH! PRESSED DUCK.

[D.J. grunting]

[groaning]

THIS LOOKS LIKE A PUZZLE PIECE.

WHAT?

WAIT A MINUTE.

YIPES!

ARE WE RICH YET?

KATE, ANY TIME NOW.

[Daffy gasps]

I'M RICH. I'M AFFLUENT.

MY LIQUIDITY IS ASSURED.

[laughing]

NO-- HEY, DAFFY, GET BACK HERE. DON'T TOUCH THAT!

LET GO! DON'T YOU DARE!

THE ROCK IS MINE. SO CLOSE.

YOU MIND?

YES, I MIND. I'M THE HERO.

I SHOULD GET THE TREASURE.

THE GIRL, TOO, BUT WE'LL DISCUSS THAT LATER.

CAREFUL. CAREFUL WITH MY DIAMOND. EASY, NOW.

DAD, THIS IS FOR YOU.

[chattering]

WHY, D.J., WHY YOU? WHY WASN'T IT ME?

JUST ACADEMIC CURIOSITY, YOU UNDERSTAND.

WELL, GOTTA GO. BANK CLOSES AT 5:00.

(Bugs) COME ON, DAFFY, CHANGE HIM BACK.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

BUDDY PICTURES.

[screaming]

D.J., PAL, YOU'RE OK.

YEAH.

GIVE ME THAT.

I LIKED YOU BETTER AS A MONKEY.

THANKS.

(Granny) OH, THAT IS SO SWEET.

NOW IF YOU COULD JUST HAND OVER THE DIAMOND.

IMMEDIATELY!

[laughing]

(Tweety) MY TURN.

PARDON.

ALL RIGHT, NOW, I'VE COME FOR THE DIAMOND.

I KNEW IT WAS YOU.

OH, YOU KNEW IT WAS ME, DID YOU?

WELL, YOU'RE WRONG. BECAUSE I'M NOT ME.

I'M ACTUALLY...

[grunting]

I CAN'T. I CAN'T REACH OVER THE HAT, YOU KNOW.

I'D REHEARSE BACK AT ACME, BUT I NEVER WORE THE HAT.

AND NOW THE HAT IS THROWING ME OFF.

WOULD YOU...

THANK YOU VERY MUCH. NOW, I'M ACTUALLY...

YOUR FATHER.

DAD.

SAW THAT ONE COMING.

LOOK INTO YOUR HEART, D.J.

YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE.

NO, IT CAN'T BE TRUE.

YOU'RE RIGHT, IT ISN'T.

LET'S DO SOME DRILLS.

[inaudible]

THIS DOESN'T MAKE A LICK OF SENSE.

[laughing]

WELL, WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?

[crickets chirping]

WELL, APPARENTLY, NO ONE.

ANYWAY, GIVE ME THE MONKEY!

NO, FORGET THAT, MAN. YOU'RE EVIL.

OH, WELL...

WELL, THANK YOU, BUT...

ANYWAY, MR. SMITH,

LET'S SHOW THIS MUSCLE-BOUND BEEFCAKE

WHO I HAVE SOMETIMES BEEN MISTAKEN FOR

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DISINTEGRATED IN ONE PLACE

AND THEN REASSEMBLED IN ANOTHER?

FIRE AWAY.

(Daffy) NO. NO, YOU DON'T!

OOH.

[Mr. Chairman laughing]

OH...

NO!

I THOUGHT THEY FIXED THAT GLITCH.

OH, MR. SMITH IS FIRED!

I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF AROUND HERE.

AH, GOOD.

YOU...

[grunting]

AH, HENCHMEN.

DAD.

SO THIS IS THE REMOTE THAT WORKS.

(Mr. Chairman) NOW, THIS, MY FRIEND,

IS THE ACME TRAIN OF DEATH,

WHICH IS NOT GOOD NEWS FOR YOUR FATHER.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, SON.

I'VE GOTTEN OUT OF WORSE SCRAPES THAN THIS ONE.

YOU SEE, IF THE TRAIN OF DEATH DOESN'T KILL HIM,

THEN THOSE CRATES OF TNT WILL.

NOT TO MENTION THE 2-TON ANVIL HANGING OVER HIS HEAD.

AND-- OH, LOOK. THERE'S THE PENDULUM OF DOOM.

WHAT'S THE PENDULUM OF DOOM DOING THERE?

I DID NOT ORDER THE PENDULUM OF DOOM.

IT'S OVERKILL. GET RID OF IT.

NOW, IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR FAMILY "TOGETHER,"

I WOULD HAND OVER THE BLUE MONKEY NOW.

(Damian) DON'T WORRY, SON.

I'M FINE.

YOU'RE A SICK MAN, YOU KNOW THAT?

OH, GET USED TO IT.

EXCUSE ME? WHAT ABOUT MY FATHER?

OH!

HE'S WAITING FOR A TRAIN.

WHAT? YOU...

WHERE'S MARVIN THE MARTIAN?

ALL RIGHT, HERE IS THE BLUE MONKEY.

NOW, GO PUT IT ON THE SATELLITE. GO!

NO, NO, YOU DON'T, 8 BALL.

[alarm beeping]

HMM? HEY!

YOU'D NEVER CATCH THAT RABBIT BEING THIS HEROIC.

EH, WHAT'S UP, DOC?

YOU'RE DESPICABLE.

[engines revving]

VANDALS!

YOUR FRIENDS' EFFORTS WILL PROVE TO BE FUTILE.

YOU SEE, HERE IS THE BLUE MONKEY,

HERE IS THE ACME SATELLITE.

WHEN THE BLUE MONKEY IS FINALLY DOCKED

IN THE SATELLITE...

A BEAM AROUND THE WORLD I WILL TRANSMIT

WHICH WILL TRANSFORM EVERYONE BUT ME INTO MONKEYS.

NOW TAKE THEM AWAY!

(D.J.) DON'T YOU THINK THAT'LL GET LONELY

MR. ALL MY FRIENDS SWING FROM TREES

AND PICK FLEAS OUT OF THEIR FURRY BUTTS?

LONELY?

I SUPPOSE I COULD USE A LITTLE HUMAN COMPANIONSHIP.

OH, THANKS A LOT.

OH, I'VE SEEN YOU NOTICE ME.

I KNOW I'M HOT.

BUT I PREFER SOMEONE WITH A LITTLE MORE OOMPH.

I PREFER MARY!

[gasping]

HELLO, MARY.

WE'RE A CUTE COUPLE, DON'T YOU THINK?

NOW, TAKE THOSE FUTURE SIMIANS AWAY

AND LOWER THE MONKEY SHIELD.

[honking]

EARTHLINGS HAVE THE WORST SENSE OF DIRECTION.

[Marvin screaming]

WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW, HE FELL FOR IT.

I GUESS I OWE YOU $5.

(Daffy) DID YOU ORDER SATELLITE?

EH, I DON'T EVEN HAVE CABLE.

[grunting]

YOU KNOW, WHEN I FIRED THAT DUCK,

I NEVER WOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING.

GOTTA BE A WAY OUT OF THIS.

(Damian) YOU CAN GET OUT OF THIS, SON.

YOU'VE JUST GOT TO SET YOUR MIND TO IT.

BESIDES, I'M HEARING MY DAD'S VOICE IN MY HEAD.

ACTUALLY,

I'M DOWN HERE, SON.

(D.J.) HOLD ON, DAD, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!

THAT WAS TOO EASY.

[gasps]

[growling]

WHAT WAS THAT NOISE, SON?

DAD, YOU KNOW HOW I ALWAYS WANTED A DOG?

YEAH?

I JUST GOT ONE.

[barking]

[screaming]

WAIT. MAYBE HE WANTS TO PLAY FETCH.

NICE MECHANICAL DOGGY.

GOOD DOG. WANT TO PLAY?

GOOD BOY.

FETCH!

[chomping]

[growling]

IT LOOKS TO BE A DEADLY MISSION REQUIRING STRENGTH,

CUNNING AND NERVES OF STEEL.

SO GOOD LUCK, BUGSY, I'LL KEEP THE ENGINE RUNNING.

YOU TRICKED ME!

EH, WHAT'S UP, DARTH?

NOW I MUST INCAPACITATE YOU WITH MY BUBBLE GUN.

AIN'T THAT CUTE?

OF COURSE YOU REALIZE THIS MEANS WAR.

UH, YOU GO THAT WAY. I'M GONNA GO THIS WAY.

[grunting]

[barking]

[screaming]

BAD DOG! SIT!

(Damian) I DON'T WANT TO PUT YOU UNDER ANY ADDED PRESSURE, SON,

BUT JUDGING BY THE VIBRATIONS OF THESE TRAIN TRACKS,

I'VE GOT ABOUT ONE MINUTE AND 42 SECONDS LEFT.

DOWN! PUT HIM DOWN.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

WHAT WOULD DAMIAN DRAKE DO?

WHAT WOULD DUCK DODGERS DO?

WAIT A MINUTE. I AM DUCK DODGERS!

YES, I'M GOING TO BE THE HERO OF THIS PICTURE!

DUCK DODGERS TO THE RESCUE!

DUCK DODGERS TO THE RESCUE!

DUCK DODGERS...

DUCK...

IT'S YOU-KNOW-WHO TO THE RESCUE!

IT HELPS IF YOU DON'T SAY THE NAME.

[growling]

[screaming]

(Kate) BAD DOG!

[gasps]

[whining]

DISGUSTING EARTH RODENT.

NOW TO NEUTRALIZE THAT DUCK.

(Daffy) OH, THIS CAN'T BE GOOD.

NOW THE DIAMOND WILL BATHE THE EARTH

IN A MONKEY-TRANSFORMING GLOW.

(male voice over speaker) 10, 9, 8, 7,

6, 5, 4

3, 2, 1.

THWARTING EVIL MAKES ME SO ANGRY.

[exclaiming]

WELL, THAT TAKES CARE OF THAT.

YIPES!

[screaming]

EH, THANKS, DAFF.

(Marvin) DARN DARK SIDE!

ARE YOU ALL MONKEYS YET?

(Mr. Chairman) UH-OH!

[chattering]

[sobbing]

CHECKMATE, MR. CHAIRMAN.

YOU'RE GOING DOWN.

(Daffy) COME ON, SAY IT.

JUST A LITTLE "YOU'RE MY HERO"?

(Bugs) NOPE, SORRY.

BUGS, SAY IT, COME ON.

UH-UH, NOT INTERESTED.

NOPE. NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.

I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU, D.J.

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU.

[sighing]

DAD, I THINK WE SHOULD MOVE.

[sighing]

WHAT WAS WRONG WITH BEVERLY HILLS?

I MEANT FROM THIS SPOT.

I THINK WE SCRATCHED IT.

DON'T WORRY, IT'S A RENTAL.

YOU GUYS, YOU PULLED IT OFF!

YOU PULLED IT OFF, ALL RIGHT.

GIVE ME THAT.

WAY TO GO, DAFFY.

YOU DIDN'T DO SO BAD YOURSELF, STUNT BOY.

TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT,

ALL CREDIT FOR SAVING THE HUMAN RACE GOES TO DAFFY.

EXACTLY. DAF--

OH, NO, YOU DON'T, BUSTER. YOU'RE THE HERO.

YOU'RE THE HE--. YOU'RE THE HERO.

WAIT A MINUTE.

PRONOUN TROUBLE.

I'M THE HERO.

I'M THE HERO, ALL RIGHT.

(Daffy) I'M THE HERO!

ARE YOU GONNA INTRODUCE US, D.J.?

OH, DAD, THIS IS KATE. KATE, THIS IS, UH--

DAMIAN DRAKE.

I'M A REALLY BIG FAN... OH...

OF YOUR SON.

WELL, DAFF, YOU ACHIEVED YOUR GOAL OF BEING A HERO.

YEP, BUT YOU DIDN'T ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL

OF GETTING ME BACK IN YOUR STUPID MOVIE.

AH-HAH!

(director) CUT, PRINT, THAT'S A WRAP.

THAT'S IT, GUYS.

REMIND ME TO GET A NEW AGENT, WILL YOU?

THANKS.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. MAYBE WE ARE A TEAM.

BUGS AND DAFFY. NO, NO, NO, DAFFY AND BUGS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

EXCUSE ME, DO YOU REMEMBER ME?

I, UH, THREATENED YOUR MANLINESS, AND YOU GOT ME FIRED?

OH, I KNOW YOU.

DO I KNOW HIM?

YOU MUST BE SOMEONE THAT I GOT FIRED.

SEE, I GET A LOT OF PEOPLE FIRED.

[all laughing]

YOU BE GOOD NOW.

SO LIKE I SAID--

[grunting]

NOT AGAIN. HE'S DOWN AGAIN. ARE YOU OK?

COME ON.

HE SAID HE CAN DO STUNTS.

BUGS IS HERE. GOTTA GO.

HEY, YOU KNOW, DAFFY, YOU'RE RIGHT.

THE USUAL PLACE, MR. BUNNY?

VERY GOOD, RYAN.

FROM NOW ON, YOU AND I ARE GOING TO BE

EQUAL PARTNERS IN THIS THING.

NO MORE SECOND BANANA FOR YOU.

WELL, THANKS, PAL. I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS.

AT LAST MY STAR IS RISING.

ALL MY HOPES AND ASPIRATIONS...

[chuckling]

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

MY LUCK IS CHANGING ALREADY.

[stuttering]

[crew member] GOOD NIGHT, PORKY. SEE YOU TOMORROW.

[stuttering] GO HOME, FOLKS.

by Junior Senior playing] ♪♪[Shake Your Coconuts

♪ COME ON! ♪

♪ OH, YEAH ♪

♪ COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON ♪

♪ LETS GO! ♪

♪ OH, COME ON IN, HANG YOUR COATS ♪

♪ EAT OUR CHIPS, COME ON, WE'VE GOT LOADS ♪

♪ SHAKE YOUR COCONUTS ♪

♪ COCO BOYS ♪

♪ UNTIL THE MILK COMES OUT, COME ON ♪

♪ COCO GIRLS ♪

♪ JUST KEEP ON DANCING NOW ♪

♪ JUST KEEP ON GETTING DOWN, JUST KEEP ON HAVING FUN ♪

♪ THIS PARTY'S JUST BEGUN, JUST KEEP ON DANCING NOW ♪

♪ JUST KEEP ON GETTING DOWN, JUST KEEP ON HAVING FUN ♪

♪ THIS PARTY'S JUST BEGUN ♪

♪ TILT IT UP, SWEET SOUL MUSIC ♪

♪ WE'LL GET DOWN TO A STRANGE NEW KIND OF BEAT ♪

♪ SHAKE YOUR COCONUTS ♪

♪ COCO BOYS ♪

♪ UNTIL THAT MILK COMES OUT, COME ON ♪

♪ COCO GIRLS ♪

♪ JUST KEEP ON DANCING NOW ♪

♪ JUST KEEP ON GETTING DOWN, JUST KEEP ON HAVING FUN ♪

♪ THIS PARTY'S JUST BEGUN, JUST KEEP ON DANCING NOW ♪

♪ JUST KEEP ON GETTING DOWN, JUST KEEP ON HAVING FUN ♪

♪ THIS PARTY'S JUST BEGUN, JUST KEEP ON DANCING ♪

♪ JUST KEEP ON GETTING DOWN, JUST KEEP ON HAVING FUN ♪

♪ THIS PARTY'S JUST BEGUN ♪

♪ WHOO! ♪♪