Original subtitles

[music]

>> Louisa.

Louisa.

Louisa.

Louisa.

Louisa.

Where are you?

Louisa.

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

>> I have to bless the corpse six times

already.

>> can't help it if everyone decides to die

and get married on the same day.

>> Look. Look, IT'S RUNNING AWAY.

>> STOP IT, SOMEBODY, OR THERE'LL BE AN

ACCIDENT.

>> WHAT'S GOING DOWN?

RIGHT TO THE BOTTOM.

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

>> FOR THE pay I get, they don't deserve

Mozart.

Next time they'll get a minor composer.

I can think of one.

>> It'll cost at least five.

>> Who's going to do it?

>> The fire brigade can do it.

>> No, why should they?

>> Nobody has done it.

>> What's happened?

>> Don't you see? Somebody's car is in the

canal.

>> Anybody killed?

>> No. With a lot no one was in it.

>> I bet they asked for it. Give them a

drop of drink too much and they drop in

the drink. They asked for it.

>> It's true. Half the accidents here are

caused by drink.

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music and bell]

[music]

>> I want you.

>> IF YOU WANT ME, TOO.

>> [music]

>> I WANT

>> [music]

>> AH!

>> [screaming]

>> YOU GOT YOUR NERVE TELLING ME THAT. I

DON'T KNOW why I put up with it. You

think you know me, huh? Watch out.

>> What's the matter with you, Padre?

Nothing. I've been run over, that's all.

>> Nothing? Look at you. You're hurt.

You're all of a blood.

>> I'd be all right if I could find a

pharmacy.

>> Yeah, of course. I'll take you to one.

Come on. Let me give you a ride. My

name's Massoni.

>> McCabe.

>> Come on. Get in.

And careful NOT TO TRACK MUD IN, ALL

RIGHT?

>> HUNGRY. WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY? I'VE

HAD IT WITH YOU.

>> SORRY. I I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU.

>> get out if I'm in the

>> I SAID I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU, PADRE. I

DON'T YELL AT THE CLERGY. It's not nice.

>> I'm not a priest.

>> Yeah, I know. Only too well.

It's too easy. You're strong in front of

a lady.

A man's another matter. In front of a

man, a real man,

not a phony imitation like you, YOU GO

TO PIECES.

>> ARE YOU SCREWY?

>> I'M NOT your

>> You son of a [ __ ] you.

>> It's not my fault.

>> Fools these kids are.

>> Oh, I find Venetians very hospitable,

friendly and generous on the whole.

>> If it weren't for dingbats like you, I'd

really like them.

>> You filthy coward. You nearly killed

that poor defenseless boy.

Vile creature.

>> I'm no such thing. I never run away from

no one.

>> Oh, no? Huh. What about those two skinny

drugs at the bar there?

>> That's not fair.

Two? There were at least 20.

>> 20? Don't exaggerate. There might have

been

>> And they were armed.

Some farmer.

It was your fault they went for us.

You have to call them monsters?

After showing off your hoo-ha to

everyone.

>> Don't you dare talk to me in this

manner, hear me, girl? Or you're going

to be seriously hurt if you spoke to me

that way.

>> Now you got me scared now. I'm trembling

all over. Can't you hear my teeth

chattering?

>> Stop this rattle trap at once. I won't

sit any MINUTE FOOL OF

FILTHY COWARD.

>> YOU CAN HAVE YOUR HAND OFF THAT BREAKER

or I'll bet you one.

>> Huh. You'd strike a woman. I knew it.

Coward. Bully. I know your kind.

>> And I know yours.

Excuse me.

I don't want to to butt in or interrupt

or anything, but if you'd stop a moment

or so, I would like to get out. A walk

would do me wonders.

>> Come on. You're out of your gourd.

You've been run over.

You're all covered with blood.

>> Suddenly I realized I forgot an

important date. It can't be too

important.

Sit down.

Moving around and all like that, you're

making it worse.

In just a minute I will get there.

Patience is A VIRTUE, REVEREND.

>> OW!

That priest, some example.

>> I am not a priest.

>> [music]

>> Hey!

>> Nice place you got here.

It's all right, I suppose. I might even

be really happy here if it WASN'T FOR

THAT MILLSTONE AROUND MY NECK.

JOKER, WAIT UP.

>> YOU CANCELLED. You promised to get me a

beer, darling.

>> Yeah, I will. I will. I I never forget a

promise.

>> You're sweet little thing.

>> I'm not coming to work tomorrow. You can

take your clothes off instead, and the

clients will have to be content to look

at your flabby flesh.

>> Yes, they're all alike.

>> you need money, you can send that old

bag of a mother of yours OUT IN THE

STREETS.

>> [screaming]

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I'M SURE SHE DIDN'T

MEAN WHAT she said. I'm not going to

hurt anybody.

I wish God would deliver me from all my

misery.

>> I'll get you transferred. I'll have you

sent to Sardinia.

>> She's a killer. That's what she is.

>> Sit down, Padre.

>> Talking about mother that way.

You'll be sorry. You'll be sorry if I

mention the name.

You'll be sorry. Yeah.

How can I go on now? I can't talk about

mother like that.

>> Go ahead and start. He'll soon be

stuffing himself like a pig. Take no

notice of him.

>> Ungrateful wretch.

>> Such a fool.

>> You're always attacking the one weak

spot I got, my mother. That's my

Achilles heel and you hit it every time.

It's so cruel of you.

So cruel.

>> Hey, you'll only make it worse going on

like that.

You keep getting mad and come out with

things that you don't mean and then all

of a sudden you have before you know it

you're insulting yourself.

>> no, no, no, no, no, what I said about

his mother is the simple truth. She's an

old bag and should be left out in the

ice to die like AN ESKIMO.

>> [ __ ]

I WARNED YOU. IF YOU EVER MENTION MY

MOTHER AGAIN, I TOLD YOU I'D GET YOU AND

I WILL. I'LL KILL [screaming] YOU!

>> YOU'RE CRAZY, YOU AND YOUR MOTHER,

YOU'RE BOTH MAD AND YOU SHOULD BE LOCKED

UP. I'LL DESTROY YOU.

>> YEAH, RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN AND PRECISE.

>> DIRTY [ __ ]

>> I'LL BE KNOWING THIS IN A MINUTE. 7:15

Face file and digest.

>> [music]

[music]

>> Organ grinder, you have a very personal

style of playing.

>> Oh, I

I began when I was very young.

Five years of pianoforte at Padova and

then at Bassano.

>> Don't tell me you studied with the

priests.

>> Oh, no. Oh, no. Of course not.

>> Me?

>> Just

passing through, you know, not long. I

asked because I detest all men who wear

skirts. I really hate to see them. It's

unnatural.

Well, nowadays they they don't Are you

trying to tell me they don't wear them

anymore? Well, they may disguise or

transform themselves, but they remain

priests nevertheless. I feel sure you

play at chess. Yeah, you're right. I won

the Trieste Cup in '74. have a sixth

sense about these things. The Signora

Marchesa is already in the dining room.

I'll be in a minute. Of course, we'll be

delighted to have your company at

dinner. Oh, you've already eaten. No,

no, no, no, no. I'd be delighted.

Splendid. Nanni, show the gentleman

where he can wash before joining us.

Certainly, that's us.

Hey.

Wash my hands, hm?

No, the man's very nice. Besides, it's

almost impossible to find someone who

can play the organ these days, who

really feels the music. Ah, there you

are, Professor. I was just telling my

wife about you.

Won't you sit down, please?

My dear, let me introduce you to

Professor Nebbiolo.

My wife, Luisa Bardi di Viboldone,

Marchesa di Garanzano.

Prego.

Well, this is a pleasure,

madam.

>> [clears throat]

>> May I serve dinner now, Signora

Marchesa?

Thank you.

Yes, you're right.

He's very like It's his nose and his

mouth. It's the image of Uncle Giovanni.

But

where is he going to sit? No, my wife

has just brought something to my

attention. The Jew resembles exactly an

uncle of mine who is no more. He's the

us, under here, down in the crypt.

>> Well, I'm glad.

>> Yes, he was a little strange, Uncle

Giovanni. Brilliant violinist and

extraordinary imagination. But you

haven't touched your food.

No need to be polite here. I'd like you

to feel at home, Professor. I can have

them prepare something else if you like.

>> No, no, no.

It's just that

I got no appetite.

>> Oh, are you not feeling well?

>> Well, I

I don't know why, but I've got sort of a

lump Oh, here.

>> My dear, but you haven't touched

anything either. This dieting is

nonsense, absurd. Being thin is a mania.

You must stop it. You'll vanish

altogether.

>> Hey, I think she succeeded.

What I've seen of her.

>> Mhm.

>> Well, I What I wanted to say

>> Oh, please go on.

Go right ahead, Professor. Give her your

advice.

>> I don't think she'd be interested. I'll

try if you want.

>> I'd be grateful.

>> [clears throat]

>> Please eat something, won't you,

signora?

>> [clears throat]

>> What did she tell you? [laughter]

Madam.

>> Louisa always has an answer. Darling,

shall we go to the drawing room now? And

not argue.

Nanni, bring the coffee and the port.

>> Yes, sir.

>> Did you drop something, Professor?

>> No rose could smell as sweet.

>> Go ahead.

Thank you.

>> Nanni.

>> Yes, sir.

>> The port.

>> Oh, yes, sir. Look up. Do sit down.

>> Anyone there?

>> Today is Friday the 13th.

How about it?

I haven't read my horoscope this morning

and it told me I was going to have an

unexpected meeting.

What was that?

Huh?

>> [laughter]

[laughter]

>> Nobody knows how to laugh like my

Louisa, does she?

>> Does she?

And kisses, too.

>> What's the matter? Are you blind?

Haven't you looked at her?

No, no, no. I mean, of course I looked.

Yeah, yeah, she really laughs hard. I

don't know anyone that laughs as hard as

I don't know. Thanks, I got one.

>> No, it's not for you. It's for Louisa.

>> Oh.

>> Dry your tears, darling. You'll stain

your dress with mascara.

Nanny, prepare the flogging room for the

professor.

I know you'll like it.

>> Actually, flogging isn't really my bag.

If you don't mind, I prepared the room

with the Rape of the Sabines in it.

>> Oh, did you? It doesn't matter. It makes

no difference. You may go now, Nanny.

It's a room you'll love.

It has the Rape of the Sabines, a fresco

by Tiepolo in it. And out of the window,

not exactly straight in front, but to

one side, if you lean out, you'll see

the Cistercian monastery.

>> Now, listen, my Casey. You have been

more than kind and so is your wife, but

I have to leave here tonight. I have

absolutely got I I must go.

>> Got to go.

But you forgot Louisa. I mean, how am I

going to put it to her?

>> In what way?

>> But you said you would see her tomorrow

in the morning. You asked her if she

would like to hear the Requiem of

Brahms, and she said yes, she would.

>> I did?

>> Yes, you did. You certainly did. Now,

this is no way to behave, is it? You

don't promise something and then break

your word.

>> Uh Look now, simmer down. I don't recall

having heard anything, and I'm certain I

never spoke a word. I said

>> Exactly, and if you didn't speak it,

that means you're covered by the law.

Silence constitutes consent.

I bid you good night, Professor.

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

>> None the stimulant?

Ah, Professor. Good morning. You're up

early.

Had a nice walk?

But don't be shy. Come here. I want to

show you something.

Professor, it's really extremely rare.

Uncover it.

Careful now.

What do you think?

You see these golden veins? To get this

effect it took me 37 crossings.

It all began with a common strain so

long ago I forgotten. Over 15 years and

37 cultures, it's been a long struggle.

But now we're there, at last.

>> Pretty.

>> The glass.

Listen.

Have you by chance seen the Louisa

anywhere?

>> Don't believe so.

But I won't swear to it.

>> What's that?

>> I wouldn't stake my life on it.

>> Hey Marchesa, look at Maria's pretty

song venire della barchessa. NIGHT TO

SOUND THE BICCHIERE. YOU KNOW THEY CALL

YOU THE MAD BARCHESSA?

>> BARONE, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO FLY

OVER MY PROPERTY. SO GO.

>> BUT MARCHESA LOOK AT MARIA, poor madman.

You may own the land but not the sky.

>> I don't believe in that.

He flies by in a chair and calls me mad.

>> There once was a mad Marchesa, and his

mind was a little bit hazy. And he had a

madman spouse who lived in his house. If

that isn't mad, then I'm crazy.

>> Haha, you're in good form today, Louisa.

Good shot.

Now, you ready? Try for this one.

Very good. Very good.

Your game's improving.

I spoke too soon.

But my point is that

Um, is there anything you want, sir?

>> Yes, I'm curious to know who's batting

those balls.

>> I don't know what you mean.

>> His partner at tennis. I want to know

who it is.

>> The Marquesa Luisa, sir.

>> Oh, no, don't give me that. I understand

that you have to pretend in front of him

because you've got to eat, but we're

alone now and I want to know.

>> The Señora Marquesa is two love in the

first set.

It might be fair to say she's winning

the game. Now, if you'll excuse me.

>> Oh, that's sweet of you, dear, but I

played very badly today.

>> I did.

>> You did twice.

>> Don't be absurd.

>> You can't be serious. I did no such

thing.

>> Are you still carrying that suitcase

around?

>> Listen, will you? I got to be going. I'm

leaving as of now.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't think I don't appreciate your

kindness. It's a marvelous place and all

that.

>> My wife just greeted you. Aren't you

going to answer?

>> Good morning to your wife.

>> I'm going to leaving right away.

>> Please explain.

>> Well, I'm not like you, Marchesi. I

mean, I've got to work for a living. I

haven't got time to play games like

children.

>> You may go.

I accept your excuses. However, are you

open to offers?

>> In what sense open to offers, man?

>> You know, we spoke at length of you last

night.

>> Of me?

>> Louisa, tell him.

>> No, no, no. I'd prefer to hear it from

you if you don't mind. It's better we

men discuss

>> discuss it.

>> But it was her idea, so she must be the

one to tell you.

>> Go ahead, dear.

>> Don't you think?

>> Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so.

>> Good. For me, that's enough.

>> For me,

I'm not sure. Well, I mean, it depends.

Um

>> Make up your mind.

>> It's got money.

>> Yes, I'll telephone him at once. As a

surgeon, he is the best man.

>> A surgeon?

>> If he decides to operate, you're safe.

>> Safe, huh?

>> Oh, darling, be a dear. Why don't you

tell the professor that story you made

me laugh at so much this morning? The

one The one about the Abbot of Bassano

who played the harp to the harpies. It's

a bit risky, professor, but very funny.

>> They don't make me laugh unless they're

risky.

Yeah, all we need is a surgeon. You

think I'll let him cut me?

Hm?

>> [laughter]

>> What's so funny?

>> I'm sorry, sir, but when the Signora

Marchesa tells one of her funny stories,

I get carried away.

>> It's all been settled. You'll be glad to

hear that in exactly 4 days, I managed

to get you in. Tuesday the 17th.

Isn't that good?

>> Well, I have to admit that nothing

wrong

wrong with my health.

>> The Olympic Theatre, Vicenza.

You'll be occupied for 6 weeks, and you

can stay here with us.

>> You mind if I ask him I'm I'm a bit

curious as to what I what I have to do

in Vicenza.

And because

I don't know if I quite managed to to

grasp what the surgeon asked me to do.

>> He promotes classical music, and he has

engaged you to play as main soloist in

the Vivaldi concerts. It's a 6-week

engagement.

You happy?

>> Forgive me if I'm disturbing you, Signor

Marchesi, but I was sure you'd be

interested in this new type of balloon

we've produced recently because you're

so well known for your passion for this

form of sport.

This model over here we call the flying

horse. You'll notice the form of the

balloon itself is shaped differently. It

gives it a slimmer look,

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

>> Look.

You see that motor car below us, down

there? The red one?

That's our guardian angel.

He guides us in when we need to come

down.

I hope we can land all right.

>> Hope we can land all right. What do you

mean, hope?

>> Oh, we always land in the end. It's just

a question of height and speed.

>> Hm.

>> Louisa.

Oh, Louisa.

Louisa.

>> Uh what are you doing?

>> LOUISA.

>> KEEP STILL. YOU'RE CRAZY. WHAT are you

doing?

>> That's not very courteous of you.

>> I'm not concerned about that. In fact,

if you try to overturn us again, I'll

punch you.

I'm sorry.

I couldn't help it. I was scared.

>> That's nothing to worry about,

Professor. Everybody's a bit scared the

first time, but you'll get used to it.

>> Get used to it?

>> Take my word for it. You'll learn to

love it.

Did I tell you about the time Louisa and

I crashed up in the Alps?

It was terrible, but you get used to it.

>> To crashing into an Alp? I'm not sure I

would.

Into an Alp?

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

>> Really crazy.

Well, it's obvious.

Professor Magali, the surgeon can say

what he likes. The Marchese probably

seems quite normal when he's playing his

cello in public, but alone in private,

well, you can see for yourself. He's not

sane, he really isn't. And the fact that

he refused our generous offer is most

worrying and something has to be done

about it.

>> Well, the only hope we have left is

convincing his aunt. What's her name?

>> The Marquise Alvisa.

>> Ah, the Marquise. I believe she's the

only relation. If she doesn't agree to

have him certified herself, all we need

is her signature on the form, huh?

>> Convincing her to sign will be

difficult. The woman's madder than her

nephew.

>> that's your job. It's what you're paid

for. You go to Florence, meet the lady,

take her off to the villa with two

witnesses and everything is done. It's

up to me to settle the details.

>> I'm sure you're right, only

>> You don't know what I'm talking about,

but you will before long. I want to see

Rossi. You know, Rossi is almost as

stupid as you are, but he's acquainted

with the law, at least.

>> Signorina, telefoni subito al dottor

Rossi e dica a Guido di ritirare l'auto.

>> Professor,

you mind if I ask you a question, but I

want an honest answer, mind you.

Do you think Louisa was better when she

was painted or as she is now?

>> I I

I don't get it.

>> The hair, I mean.

>> Ah, yeah, I'm glad you asked.

My

My opinion, if you want it, is that

everybody has to have an opinion. When a

woman has a certain class, it's often

the case to to bring the hair bring it

down a bit

low.

Uh

uh

uh not too much, you understand? It

could go higher or or even

>> No, dear, you shouldn't say anything.

All right, Professor.

>> Should I go on?

>> Yes.

>> Uh well, I would say, looking at it from

Oh, well, objectively,

dispassionately, I would say to the

naked eye,

her hair is being very fair hair or

being sort of gold well, in a way,

dark.

Browny gold.

Well, she's blind.

Don't ask me when you can see for

yourself. Oh, yeah, but I wanted to hear

you say it because

two heads are better than one. Why

should I answer? I asked you, didn't I?

That may be, but don't get upset. Just

just calm down. You get so wild. I'm

only expressing my opinion, that's all.

I mean, I'm entitled to.

She's got such a cute little nose and

eyes and and the mouth and

I mean, she's got a mouth.

>> Come on.

Careful, madam. Let me help you. We

mustn't get cold, must we?

Better, isn't it?

This way.

>> I want to ride my horse.

>> Yes, of course, your highness.

>> Please let me.

>> All in good time.

>> I want to.

>> Later, later.

>> I would really

>> My doctor states

my doctor states

>> prefer

>> he can be trusted.

>> If you'll excuse my saying so, it's a

personal matter. Your nephew

>> We have to certify my nephew? What? Has

he lost his marbles?

>> Well, signora, he goes around talking to

a lady who isn't there. It's not exactly

>> And I'm expected to travel across this

peninsula to see a lady who doesn't

exist.

>> From Florence to Venice is no enormous

distance. Excuse me, Rossi, it's not

that. I'm only appealing to your

conscience, signora marchesa. Your poor

nephew must be put away, if only for his

own protection. It's only fair, I think.

Then there's the advantage this offer

from my firm for the property which will

go to you. Think of that.

>> Well, I'm dying to see Louisa. Is she

pretty?

>> I told you she doesn't exist.

>> What's your offer?

>> 300 million lira.

>> 300 million lira.

>> I didn't know that you had an aunt as

well, one that exists.

>> Yes, she exists and yet she doesn't in

the sense that I haven't seen her for

years.

You know why Aunt Louisa's coming

tomorrow? Louisa guessed the reason at

once.

>> None of my business, but I wouldn't mind

knowing the reason.

>> It's all because of Buccintoro.

>> Who's that? If I may ask.

>> It's a real estate company. They've been

hounding me for years, tormenting me.

They want to buy my property, the villa.

Have you any idea what their last offer

was? 300 million lira.

>> Well, that's irritating, I guess.

>> Get down, it's the Blue Baron.

>> Look at Marietta della Barchessa. I'M

LOOKING FOR HIS MARBLES.

>> IS THAT A LEGITIMATE TO SPY ON MY LAND?

I'll have you certified.

>> [music]

>> Well, what is it?

But at least have the courage to discuss

discuss it openly, to say something. Are

you angry with me?

>> I have nothing to be angry about. If I

had something, I would have said it.

What did you say?

>> I wasn't talking to you.

Yes, I feel it.

There is a strange atmosphere, the kind

you get before a storm.

Am I wrong?

>> You talking to me?

>> But I'm talking to you, certainly. Who

else would I be talking to?

>> Marchesi, one thing.

If you still want me to stay here the

whole period of the concerts, then we

have to straighten this out. You have to

be clear with us both. What do you say?

I just think that when you address

somebody

that when you address somebody

I don't know who you are

you're speaking to, whether it's me or

or or her.

Point at least. Just point us out.

There, there, there, there. Uh

>> Sorry, Professor, but

the telephone call telling me that my

aunt Alvisa is arriving tomorrow has

upset me. She'll be here in time for the

costume party I give each year.

It's for us nobles.

>> A breed that's almost extinct.

>> I know she wouldn't be coming here just

for the party.

>> Is that so?

>> They want this villa.

To convert it to a monastery. A

monastery, I ask you, isn't that

disgusting? It's all a nightmare. All

those priests prancing about my house,

in the hall, in the hall, even here,

above, below, in the drawing rooms, in

the bedrooms,

under tables, on beds, up and down the

stairs, SCURRYING LIKE ARMIES OF

INSECTS.

EVERYWHERE, EVERYWHERE, DEVASTATING,

DEVOURING, CONSUMING EVERYTHING AROUND

THEM.

SCREAMING, CLAWING, SHRIEKING,

SCRATCHING, destroying my garden, my

tulips, my pictures, my furniture,

everything beautiful, everything I love.

As if Attila the Hun had passed through

with his hordes, not leaving a blade of

grass. He's got it in for us, and I'm

prepared to make a stand.

>> What did you say?

>> You're right.

I'm sorry, dear. It's true.

I lost control.

Professor, would you dance with the

Marchesa?

>> With who?

>> My wife. I'm asking you to partner her.

Louisa adores the waltz, and I don't

feel

I'm not in the mood to dance.

What seems to be the matter?

>> Uh nothing's the matter. No, I love to

dance. I almost asked her before the

dance. I I I just thought you might like

to.

>> No, no, no, no, no, no. Go ahead.

Marquise, uh uh

what on earth

>> May I

>> The Marquise is waiting for you in the

ballroom. I think you mhm

>> Ah!

I was just just a

little

>> So I see.

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

>> May I?

>> Ah, professor.

>> Nanni told me that the Marchesa

>> Gone.

Who?

>> Louisa.

>> Louisa?

Whatever for? I mean,

the noble party's tonight and she loves

to dance and besides there's your aunt.

>> And we mustn't forget those real estate

developers. They're the ones who

manipulate Aunt Alvisa.

Not Louisa.

>> She's not here.

>> They might even claim that I

>> That you invented her.

>> Might even do that.

>> Are they out of their minds?

>> The last time she went away it was to

see an aunt who lives in

in Ferrara.

Aunt Elizabeth.

>> Now, how can I persuade Nadia to come to

our rescue?

Marchesa,

may I borrow 100,000 lira?

>> [music]

[music]

>> Honey, do you believe begun already.

>> [music]

>> Tell me now, Luka Marija, where in the

world did you find those two divine

Negroes that are very rare breed?

They're almost extinct, I suppose. I'd

love to own one, though they cost a lot,

I hear. But, I may inherit a little

money, and then I can buy one. But, I

suppose I'd have to keep it for

breeding. They are easily domesticated

and last for years if you feed them

pineapples. And apparently they're very

well endowed.

>> Please forgive us if we are disturbing

you in the privacy of your home. But we

came up with the Signora Marchesa from

Florence to be introduced to your wife,

the Marchesa.

Louisa, if I'm not mistaken.

>> Is she black?

Mhm?

Never seen her, and I'd love to.

>> Dear Aunt Alvisa,

I wonder if you can comprehend me.

I'm not

I never wanted to

>> Anyone seen Louisa? I thought you might

have come through here. I was looking

for her.

>> here, and you?

>> Well, if I'd seen her, I wouldn't be

looking for her, would I? Stupid thing

to ask.

>> It's no use, Professor. It's too late

now.

>> Look, he's over there.

>> No. No, my friend. The hour has come to

admit defeat.

>> Look, Maria, why don't you introduce me

to your Aunt Alvisa?

>> [music]

>> You're a very lovely child.

I'm so envious, I almost hate you.

How can these two imbeciles say you

don't exist? I'd have them locked up.

Come closer.

>> Now then, Auntie, what do you think of

her?

>> Oh, what a question.

I've always known you existed. It's

those silly men that don't exist, at

least as men, because real men would

appreciate her.

>> Auntie, I think it's time that you are

going back now. I'd love you to stay a

bit longer, really.

>> Yeah, the Signora Marchesa's car is

here. I'm sorry, Marchesa. She's not

very well and gets tired.

>> sorry.

>> My secretary is waiting and he gets

terribly upset, poor thing.

Every time I'm late, he gets so jealous.

>> [laughter]

>> Such a pretty thing you are. Oh, it's in

the blood. You can't ever hide it.

Nobility is a thing you can't invent.

>> You're lovely.

>> You're not so bad yourself, Marchesa.

>> Marchesa?

Why not Lucca Maria, as always?

Oh, I understand. You are an amazing

person.

You want to start afresh.

You wish me to court you as if we had

never met before. Someone quite new to

me. I'm excited.

Luisa.

May I have the honor of the first dance?

The second?

The third? I want to be the only man you

dance with tonight.

Marchesina Luisa de Vivodi Lista.

>> Oh.

>> Come on, dear.

You know the way.

Follow me.

>> Oh, where are you taking me?

>> Uh

Nanny, um have you seen that the

Senorita Marquess?

>> If you mean the Senorita Marquess

Louisa, she's gone upstairs with her

husband.

>> Upstairs to his room?

>> I don't find anything specially abnormal

about a gentleman going up to bed with

his own wife. It's the man's own

business.

>> Do you prefer men?

Nothing funny in it nowadays.

And I've tried every trick in my

repertoire.

>> [sighs and gasps]

>> There's one I haven't tried yet.

>> What next?

>> Oh, please Marquis, no more. I can't go

on.

>> call me Luca?

>> Oh, Luca Marie, I'm sorry, but I'm

exhausted. You must stop it

>> No, no, you must you must let me do it

just once more.

The way we did it in old Vienna, you

know?

>> Vienna?

You mean Germany?

>> No, no, the restaurant. Remember?

The dinner

and how we made love all night.

>> Nadia.

Oh, Nadia.

Nadia.

Oh, Nadia.

>> Hey.

Who do you think you are? How dare you

come in here? Turn around and look the

other way.

>> Now, now. Get out.

>> Aren't you being a little crude?

>> Oh, signora marchesa. Oh, dearest

signora. No, no, that'll do. You seem to

have gotten well into your part. Now,

the play is over.

>> Maybe.

Only why should I move?

>> I wouldn't push your luck if I were you.

I might get tapped.

>> Killer. You couldn't.

>> Oh, couldn't I? You just see. You see if

I don't slap your face worse than he

did. Chung chung.

>> [laughter]

>> No use denying it. I heard it with my

own little ears.

>> I think you got it wrong.

>> [laughter]

>> I hit him.

>> Nadia.

I'd have you sent to prison.

>> Prego.

You know I got to piss quick.

>> [snorts]

>> Caro professore.

L'innesto è come un atto d'amore.

>> But you promised you'd leave after the

ball.

>> She stay.

>> But what does it matter in any case?

>> But I had to give a personal guarantee.

>> You? But to who?

>> Cavaliere

>> Yes, the judge.

>> Just a minute.

You know her aunt?

>> Look at me.

>> Well, her aunt counts less than her

husband.

>> Well, that doesn't matter to me. I had

to give my word she'd be back today.

>> Nothing.

Now, where would you like to go?

>> You better drop me off in town.

>> Bon voyage.

>> We'll be back soon.

>> Speak your own language.

>> I'm taking my wife for a ride.

>> But she's taking me.

>> Hey, Vanni, you seen him?

>> No, he's been at target practice all

morning.

>> It's a bad sign, Reverend.

>> Put that down over there.

>> Now, look, Reverend. There's no need for

that.

Let's me to have to.

I love doing favors.

Especially for people I like. I'm easily

contented.

>> I'm glad I'm glad. See you, okay?

>> Now, look here, Reverend.

It don't depend on me. I work for

somebody else. I got to answer to the

boss.

>> Where is he?

>> Right here.

>> [music]

>> Forse lei non sa chi sono io.

>> Boss, the reverend here is a good guy if

you give him a chance.

It's no fault of mine.

See, you're my kid.

See, you're my boss. [music]

Have you seen Nadia?

That is the young lady I hired, won't

come back to you.

I'll kill him now.

I won't kill him now.

I'll kill him now.

I won't kill him now.

I won't kill him.

You're fortunate.

My mood's entirely dependent on my

daisies.

When I paid you that hundred, Nadia

agreed that she'd stay one night, that's

all.

What can I do if

if she wants to stay on?

I'm in a mood to be kind.

Give you a chance.

You can keep Nadia, Reverend.

Thank you. Only, I'm not a reverend, Dr.

Boss.

I'm not a doctor, Reverend.

We've met a few wives.

Mhm.

As the days you got numbers.

Sunday,

Monday,

Tuesday,

>> [music]

>> Wednesday,

Thursday,

she's not back by then.

>> I get rubbed out.

Yeah.

>> I wonder what the bill will be.

>> Weasel, you and I were seated at this

table for two a long time ago.

If I remember correctly then, you

suggested

in the middle of everything that we go

upstairs.

Ah, darling, you tremble like a leaf.

Let's go up now.

>> Let me finish eating, Luca. I haven't

got my teeth into this yet. After fruit,

coffee, and a brandy, I'll feel I get

what you

It tickles my nose.

>> Well, now that you've got your heart's

desire, drink up.

It did wonders last time.

>> Marchesa.

>> Oh, Helga.

>> Allora, tutto bene?

Sa che la trovo benissimo?

Sempre bella, sempre più interessante.

>> [clears throat]

>> Thank you, sir.

Facciamo come le altre volte.

>> Sì, sì, sì, sì, certo.

>> Domanda di che si tratta.

Andiamo, facciamo fa noi.

Entrate.

Faccio portare una bottiglia di

champagne.

Ma mi sembrava che piacesse molto anche

a lei, Marchesa.

No, no, io.

>> [gasps]

>> Sei, doppio sei.

Ah, falsch.

Errore, mia Marchesa.

Right here, then.

>> Una giocatrice eccezionale la nostra.

Una giocatrice eccezionale la nostra

Helga.

>> No, where are the uh

>> On the right, dear.

>> I know.

>> Don't forget there are STAIRS THERE.

>> I KNOW. [screaming]

GOD

DAMN IT. I'll never walk again.

>> Are you all right?

What have you done?

>> Oh my head.

>> Here, sit down. Over here.

Are you all right?

>> killed.

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

>> You finished yet?

>> No, not yet, darling. It's a good game.

And I'm enjoying playing.

Now, you go up and I'll join you in a

couple of minutes.

>> No, you'll be here all night.

Isn't this game a trifle old-fashioned?

>> Well, not really.

>> What would happen if I give it a little

uh

>> No, no, no, no, no.

That's being wicked, isn't it?

Dear, be careful.

There, I nearly have him in check. Now,

then.

>> I waited 2 hours. Stop playing and come

up to bed now.

>> Yes, it's almost

>> dear.

>> Yes, I I'm sorry. We finish it up

tomorrow.

>> Okay, it's just

>> Tomorrow.

>> night.

Well, I've got a bit of a headache this

evening.

I think tonight I'll go straight to

sleep.

>> Goodnight, Professor. Sweet dreams.

>> No, Marchesi Marchesi, I wanted to tell

you something.

>> Tomorrow, Professor. Tomorrow.

>> Tomorrow?

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow's the last day.

Mhm.

The boss'll finish me off. My life isn't

worth the paper it's written on.

>> Shh.

>> Oh, quiet.

>> What's the matter? You gone completely

nuts?

>> I notice the way you look at me when

looking at Maria isn't watching.

>> Oh, what do you mean? I I don't I mean

>> I saw the way your eyes switch in my

direction every time I move.

>> Signor Marchesi, let go.

>> Oh, I get it. So, THAT'S WHAT YOU LIKE.

>> [screaming]

>> I SURRENDER. WHY DID YOU ATTACK ME FOR?

>> WHY, you slapped me. Do I look like a

Marchesi?

>> You slapped me really hard.

>> You slapped me pretty hard, too.

>> You hurt me, you know.

>> I'm hurt, too.

>> You bruised me.

>> Well, I'm bruised, too.

>> So am I.

>> I'm stinging.

>> Me, too.

>> Stinging?

>> Mhm.

>> Mhm.

Mhm.

>> What have I done?

You shouldn't have, Professor. Why?

I came in all innocence, not for having

you.

Beast, you made me do it.

You raped a defenseless girl who wanted

to be true to her husband, and you, his

friend, you should be mortified.

>> Now, wait.

>> It's no good.

You're only going to wind up a fiend who

did his best to seduce me. And that

means you don't count anymore. An

untrustworthy stranger, a false friend.

>> No, I'm not like that.

>> Shut up! A traitor.

>> Who'd believe someone like you? Me? No.

>> I never would.

>> But but you were the one who grabbed me

and started giving me what I hadn't even

asked for in the first place.

>> I don't think Luca Maria will listen to

you. He'll listen to me.

>> Hm.

Look at the time. I've been waiting here

an hour and he turns up alone.

I might have known.

Hey, fella, what you trying to do? Come

on. That's not nice. I can't accept

money from you. No, it's immoral.

Some people.

>> Listen, I must talk to your boss. You

know that man with the daisy in his

mouth?

>> Where's Nadia?

>> She's not here.

>> And you came without Nadia?

I must speak to the boss. You'll have to

think of another excuse.

>> I'm not making up excuses. I'm telling

you the gospel truth on the level.

It never pays to tell the truth.

That's what always comes of trying to

trying to help people. You

You do a favor

>> where's the boss?

>> He's called twice already tonight. He's

angry as hell.

He's hunting a priest. Seems he broke

his word.

>> That's bad. A priest, you say?

Give me a cue. Pick another.

>> That's not nice.

Little man has done right now and then.

>> Let's play a quickie for three.

>> I only know how to play the organ.

>> No, back to church.

>> Call me to praise.

>> I know he's there.

It's a boss for you.

Well, Reverend?

>> I didn't forget it.

>> Go on, explain.

>> I couldn't get Nadia to come out of

there.

>> What?

>> I'm sorry.

>> Couldn't convince her?

>> Explain.

>> Well, it's

sort of delicate.

>> Leave him alone.

>> I'm listening.

>> Perhaps if you

you

you took a visit to the villa and and

you came across Nadia alone, you could

>> Yeah, go on.

>> Why don't you be all yours?

>> Let me explain. It's complicated. Here's

my plan.

>> Yeah, I'm a sorry old sinner.

>> What?

>> Marchesa is here. Come down. Hey, he's

arrived. I told you he would.

>> I'm sorry, Professor, but she didn't

even want to let me leave.

I wouldn't miss a Vankara young concert.

It just isn't the same.

But the woman I once loved, we had a

misunderstanding last night.

I I'm normally a very peaceful man, and

I prefer to overlook things that might

do, well, upset anyone else. But take a

look at this.

Done with a hairbrush.

>> How would you react if she This is

hypothetical, of course.

If she left again, suddenly disappeared.

Would you take it badly?

>> I should just have to accept it,

wouldn't I?

Fate, dear Professor, is fate.

Nobody else could have played the

allegro like that. Dilly dally dilly

dally.

>> Actually, it was uh

>> Dilly dally dilly dally.

>> Well,

you know, I think I ought to be getting

home.

>> Oh, no, please. I already told you.

We're supposed to meet Teresa.

She was the dark-haired harpist at the

Olympic the

>> Oh, my dear, how are you?

>> Lovely to see you, Canadia.

>> My regards to Louisa.

>> We enjoyed it.

>> Yes, so did we.

>> Nobody knows me here.

It It a pity to be late, and Louisa will

be angry.

>> No, she won't.

This time I bet she doesn't say a thing.

>> Signora Teresa.

>> Teresa! Hey!

>> Sorry.

I was held up by my friend Pat.

Don't know why she's so late.

>> There you are.

>> Mhm?

>> You're a good guy.

>> No.

>> Okay, boss.

Look, I can't be any humbler than this.

Yeah, I will.

Yeah.

I'm going to kick it right in the seat

of his fancy little Italian sports car.

>> Did I hear you right? What's that, boss?

>> Oh, I wasn't referring to you.

Some kind of interference on the line.

>> No!

I kick you. I love your sports car.

Yeah, yeah. I make a toast to Venice,

the city of beautiful women.

>> Yeah, yes.

>> I don't know if that's a compliment.

She's Milanese, and I'm from the south.

>> Yeah, well, well, here's to the two

beautiful girls not from Venice.

>> [laughter]

>> Pat, do you like Luca Moretti?

>> Yes. I like the Marchese very much. I

think he's a very interesting man.

>> [music]

>> I'm going to tear it up.

I'm going to

I'm going to tear up all the crime, and

all the scandal, and all the politics,

and all the ugliness in the world. Going

going tear it up. Tear it up pieces.

Tonight is carnival.

>> [laughter]

>> Let's pretend it's a new world.

Here's a man

who's committed no real sins.

So, why should I be forgiven?

Well, I'm only human.

And this

This is Santa Caterina, where the where

the poor used to come and ask favors.

Brothel. It's better appreciated sober.

There's no point in explaining the

history of Venice with these drunken

tourists.

>> [laughter]

>> We, Beppe, doesn't the little one remind

you of Pinocchio?

>> [laughter]

>> His nose is growing. He must have been

lying it to the girls. no. Don't go

getting upset. It's only that way of

being friendly.

And the other one looks like something

left over from THE DOLCE VITA.

>> [laughter]

>> WELL, THAT will do. No, don't. It's not

that funny. You know, I think the poor

devil thinks that he's a Casanova.

That's too much. I won't sit here and be

insulted another minute. Just let me get

my hands on Cyrano, you have a soul in

the canal.

Sometimes you can't tell the difference

between a lunatic and a lover.

Give it a rest now. Just sing.

>> [laughter]

>> Oh.

I have to get going.

Ciao. Thank you.

>> Ciao.

>> Ciao.

>> Don't forget my number.

>> Come on, Professor. We've got to hurry.

What time does the boat leave? We've got

to start making up excuses to give

Louisa when we get back.

>> You won't need an excuse this time.

>> Really, I don't know what makes you

think that. It's obvious that you don't

know women.

Stay there. A real piece of good luck.

Is Isn't that the gondolier who insulted

me last night?

>> Looks like him.

How are you doing?

Where you going?

Listen, let me give you some some good

advice. You have everything to lose and

nothing to gain.

>> not intend to beat him to a pulp just

for the insults he hurled at me, but for

his totally reprehensible behavior in

front of the ladies. It was

unforgivable.

>> Well, that's no reason to be

Come back here. You'll find them bigger,

far bigger than you might imagine. Come

back here. Why don't YOU PICK ON

SOMEBODY YOUR OWN SIZE OR SMALLER?

>> HEY, my good man.

You know me. I know you. Put them up.

>> If you're still drunk, go find some

black coffee. I'm tired and I want to go

to bed.

Stop that.

>> Ma

Accidenti!

Si pulisca.

Si alzi su. Andiamo via.

>> Non andiamo via affatto.

>> Eh, ma allora guardi, vengo anch'io.

>> Eh, no. In due non sarebbe leale.

Tenga.

>> HEY, OH, SOMEONE MAN OVERBOARD.

SOMETHING GOT WET.

>> MARQUIS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

>> I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS I

>> Grab onto me. Grab hold of me.

You know, you have proved yourself a

true friend.

>> Oh, I.

>> No, no, no, no.

You proved it by risking your life to

save mine, huh?

Throwing yourself into the water when

you couldn't swim was a brave gesture.

>> No, I guess I slipped and fell in.

>> None of your false modesty, and don't

call me Marquis. I'd like to propose

that from now on we use first names.

>> Well, that's very democratic.

>> And by the way, you didn't fool me with

those girls last night. I know what you

were up to.

>> Hey, really? It was enjoyable.

>> Yes, it was enjoyable indeed.

>> You know, the world is full of beautiful

girls.

>> Louisa.

Louisa, what's happened?

Quick, open the curtains.

Louisa. Louisa, who did this to you?

Tell me. Who was it? My darling, are you

hurt?

I understand. Don't say anything.

You'll be all right, darling.

>> Oh, what a shock.

Those thieves.

>> Thieves? What thieves?

>> They broke in.

>> Ching this.

Tell me

Here you are.

Drink up and you'll feel better.

Here. Here.

My dear.

You must be cold.

>> No, it's so hot.

>> Go on. Cover yourself.

My comforter.

There's no There's nothing to worry

about. I'm here and I'm not the only

one, so cover yourself.

You could turn around, you know.

Now, pull yourself together and tell us

who gagged you.

>> I'm not sure what he looked like cuz I

turned around. All I know is he He hit

or was it here on the head? Yes.

>> Head?

>> Feel the bump.

>> No.

>> Well, I was all alone here relaxing and

uh um

a man got in at uh

uh that is went through

>> Went through you?

>> No, the window. And they tried to strip

me down pulling uh

my uh

>> What pulling? A man?

>> Yes, a man.

>> Pulling your

>> Then he threw me on the bed.

>> Go on.

>> Two of them.

They took turns fighting over Professor,

I haven't finished.

>> I thought I'd just go and check on what

your friends have pinched.

>> Come back. Friends?

>> I don't mean friends, acquaintances.

>> Tell me, what's happened to Nanny, for

God's sake?

>> What?

I'm not sure.

Have him tell you, if he can.

>> You see, one can never go away.

It's gone.

Empty. there's nothing left.

What a terrible disaster.

All the French silver that was in the

family since the Wars of the Roses. And

the innocent bystanders. Look at the

state poor Nanny's in. Look at him.

>> Yes, sir.

I didn't enjoy it, sir.

>> Are you a self-defeater, sir?

>> Oh, it's appalling. We'll have to call

in the police.

>> No, no.

I have to go.

>> Why?

>> I'm going that way.

It's no trouble at all. At all. You may

get some of it back. At least I hope so.

>> What do you say, Signora Marchesa? Any

hope?

>> We Marchesas don't know about such

things.

Nobility's beyond it. It's

bad taste.

Manzo, tea.

IS ANYBODY THERE?

YOU'RE IN THERE, I KNOW.

>> BUT THAT'S WHAT I WANT to know.

Where were you when they broke in?

>> I was

I was at the top of the stairs in there,

in the little room.

>> In the little

You mean the boudoir? But there are no

stairs in there.

>> Yeah, but I mean the ladder I put there.

>> Ladder? Whatever for?

>> Here. Have something to show you.

I know. Close your eyes. Don't open them

until I tell you.

It's a surprise.

You'll never guess.

Now look, huh? It's pretty, isn't it?

It's given the room a whole new look.

Passion flower, my favorite color, so

modern. I got the idea from a photo of

Elton John's bedroom in a magazine

called Shook Up.

Oh, what do you think about gold for our

room? You know, really shiny so you

don't need mirrors, huh?

Huh?

>> But it doesn't come off.

>> I hope not. It's guaranteed, polymer and

plastic. It'll never come off.

>> But you've covered over a Veronese

fresco.

>> Looks awful cuz it isn't finished. It'll

take me a minute, that's all.

So easy.

See how smooth it goes on? All in one

coat. Anyone can do it.

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

>> No.

>> Scendi.

>> No.

>> I TAKE THE JEWELRY, MONEY.

>> WOMAN, get out.

>> Get your hands

I don't want to have anything to do with

you.

>> Woman,

there's only one thing for you, the

oldest profession in the world.

>> speaking to me like that.

>> Gangster.

>> You can't accuse ME OF ANYTHING.

>> IT'S NO PROOF, BUT I KNOW THAT YOU'RE A

THIEF.

>> HOW DARE YOU, YOU THIEF, FROG, PLEASE.

>> GET OUT, BOY.

HEY, you're headed in the wrong

direction, signora marchesa. I don't

think you realize that you're John

Manzotti's down there, not there.

>> Yeah, but you see, I'm heading towards

the police station.

>> That's one of the most strange things

I've seen going on at the villa.

THAT'LL GET YOU ARRESTED AND YOU'LL END

UP IN JAIL.

>> WAIT A MINUTE, STAY WHERE YOU ARE.

Come here and talk it over.

>> Dai, scendi.

La valigia.

>> Voglio ricominciare.

>> Agostino is not a stranger.

>> Well, Luca, I know he's a friend of

yours, but he's a guest.

And like fish after a couple of days,

they begin to stink.

I've been thinking, since the house is

so big, I could invite some relations to

come and stay up here.

>> Good evening.

Agostino.

Oh, yes.

Luisa picked the only one

the jewel I built

for all those years to cultivate. All

that research ended like that.

Suck it.

The reaper strikes again.

>> I want to go into town this morning

to send some telegrams. See, my

relations haven't got a phone.

>> I didn't think the the marchesa had

anything but intimate relations.

>> And that's up your alley.

Oh, by the way, Luca, I threw out your

old slippers.

How are you feeling, Nanny?

>> Uh

better.

>> You'll have to go.

>> Worse.

>> Oops.

I can't think why you don't like omelet.

It's wholesome and good.

Not like that fancy muck you used to

eat.

>> Uh no, thank you.

>> As soon as my sisters get here, we'll

liven things up a bit.

Elvira will bring her records, and my

brothers can race their motorbikes up

and down the drive.

Then there's Mother. You'll love her.

Now, she can really cook. That's what

she is, actually, but you'd never know.

She's so refined. Manners like a queen.

Never picks her nose. Well, not in front

OF GUESTS.

>> THEY'RE

>> [cheering]

>> STANDING UP.

ONE GROUP I'M GOING TO GIVE A BIG PARTY.

THANK YOU, NANNY.

Your stupid tulip doesn't smell

anything.

Aren't you glad we're going to have lots

of jolly company? After all, my family

is yours now.

>> Signor Marchese, the Marchese is ready.

She's looking for you.

>> Yes, I know. She was in the

>> attic. A TV set and a jukebox just

arrived. Where shall I have them put?

>> Oh, put them where you like, but then

bring the car around to the front. I

want to go out.

What are you doing?

>> Um I might as well go.

There's no place for me here now.

>> Give up before you give in, as Jesus

used to say.

>> Uh-huh.

>> Where were you thinking of going?

>> Well, I thought of Vicenza. There's a

pensioni there where I could stay until

after the concerts end. A matter of

days.

>> I I don't understand you.

>> Uh look, you've done so much for me and

I've done nothing in return.

>> Oh, don't talk such nonsense. I can

never forget you. Why, you pulled me out

of that canal.

>> I beg your pardon?

I was the one you pulled out of the

canal.

>> Oh, Professor, I am sorry you're going.

I have to send these off. Now your room

is free. I can use it to put in my

mother.

>> Hope she likes it.

>> Come on. The telegrams are all here. I'm

ready to go.

>> Professor, we'll take you.

>> Just drop me off at the bus station.

>> Certainly not. We'll drive you to

Vicenza.

>> But that's too far.

>> There may not be another bus today.

>> I'm sure there are plenty.

>> Oh, never mind. I'd like to.

Mhm.

Do you mind if we stop off at the flying

club for a moment?

Won't be long.

Hey, Agostino. Carefully, if someone

should kick that lever, it could

put the balloon in the air.

>> [music]

>> Help! Help!

Get me down,

Professor Dumpling. Luca Magnotta, you

saved me.

>> How did that happen?

>> I don't know exactly. Believe it went

down and she went up.

>> Get me down!

Luca Magnotta,

>> [crying]

>> please do something. I'M FLOATING AWAY.

>> OH, SHE'S in orbit like a satellite.

She's having a real ball.

>> This is ON PURPOSE, YOU LOUSY PLAYBOY.

>> She's speaking, I think.

>> No.

Singing.

I think.

>> Well, it's heading out to sea. And

unless you know what to do, one could

stay out there forever.

>> Oh, Louisa.

Guess what, Luca?

You gave us quite a scare. We thought

we'd lost you forever.

I'm so glad to find you.

>> Find who?

>> I was talking to Louisa. She fooled me

as well as you.

You know that wasn't her

in the balloon.

That was an impostor.

No, Marchesa, you mustn't drive. You

haven't got a license to.

>> He's right. You don't want to drive.

It's much better if you let me do it.

>> Oh, would you rather sit in the back?

Marchesa?

>> Really?

Oh, look.

Well, I'm blessed.

Someone who doesn't exist has invited

her mother, a lunatic.

>> [music]

>> I'll put yours here, my dear.

>> [music and singing]

>> Ma

questi sono i miei argenti.

È stato il dottor Manzotti.

Ma l'ho licenziato.

Non voglio mezze tacche intorno.

Ho detto Nadia

e voglio Nadia.

Tiratela fuori.

È un sussurro amichevole.

Dottor Boss

chi è Nadia?

Quindi, signore, ce n'è una sola, mia

moglie, Luisa marchesa di Vibo di Lista.

Forse non mi sono spiegato.

Cara, diglielo tu, ti prego.

Mi scusi, ma io non l'avevo vista.

Permette?

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

>> Mhm.