Original subtitles

- I'm Jagger. - And I'm Dawson.

And we own Young Farts RV Parts.

We've been stripping trailers for years.

And we finally figured out the fastest way to get the parts out of these things.

Three, two, one...

- Holy shit, here we go. - Here we go.

Well, holy fuck, and just like that, we got all these parts!

And they came out better than I coulda done

with my own two hands!

Is your fridge fucked?

Well, now you can buy this pristine fridge.

Is your stove fucked? Well, now, you can't buy this stove.

Water pump fucked?

Not a problem. Here she is.

So if you need some half fucked, not so fucked parts...

Come shop with us and get some explosive ass deals.

♪ We got older it's no different ♪

♪ We've always had each other's backs since we were kids ♪

♪ Don't wanna die in Alberta ♪

♪ Don't wanna die till I feel better ♪

♪ Don't wanna die in Alberta ♪

♪ But I won't ever leave ♪

♪ So I plan to live forever ♪

- Morning, Dory. - Good morning, Cam.

- Another day in paradise. - Oh, you know it, buddy.

- Morning, Tressa! - Good morning!

Mom, are you here?

- Good morning, Mom! - Good morning, how are you?

- How you doing? - Good, good, thanks.

Oh, the story of my life, it's always a little bit too small.

Yeah, just kind of let me... just shoot me the pictures,

I'll take a peek and we'll go from there.

We're heading into winter.

It's been a crazy summer.

We have to finish the Haunted Hike in a week.

And most importantly, we need the customers

to come to the Haunted Hike, so we gotta get customers.

- Good mornin'. - Good mornin'.

What are you doing with the Ricky?

Well, I'm in charge of him today here, so.

- Hi, Ricky. - What are you up to?

Just working on the Haunted Hike shit.

How are ticket sales?

They're all right, but like, I don't know.

It's hard to know. If all we've got is the sign out front,

then nobody's gonna come. So, I don't know.

- So, we get some advertising? - Yeah.

We're going to run some ads.

To be quite honest, if the Haunted Hike isn't successful,

not only does that destroy the Haunted Hike,

it also destroys Young Farts RV parts.

Like, we've dumped all our eggs into the Haunted Hike.

We had to buy the building, we had to pay for the stuff inside.

Maybe we could, I don't know, we could go on the local radios.

We've gotta drum up sales. It's all about advertising, marketing,

it brings us business, and it's just something we have to do.

Uh, what else can we do?

Oh, shit.

Hello? Yeah, yeah, I'm heading out soon, I'll be there soon.

Bye. I totally forgot I got that pick-up today,

so that means you gotta take care of Ricky today.

- Me? - I'll be gone a couple hours.

- You're not taking your son? - I'll be back.

Say, I'm gonna write down some shit for ya, it's super easy, he's just a baby.

This isn't my son, Dawson, this is your son.

No, I know, but you're Unc, man.

If I can do it, you can do it, man.

Basically... feed him.

If you feed him, he's gotta burp.

Change his diaper, don't let him cry.

That sounds like a Tamagotchi.

It's a spitting image.

- Okay. - Like a fish in a tank.

- Okay. - All right. Have fun, man.

'Kay, good luck with the pickup. I hope you believe in me.

Have fun with your nephew.

Holy fuck, Rick. It's just me and you today, it looks like.

What the fuck?

Jagger has never spent any alone time with a baby

or with Ricky.

Ever.

It's right there.

I think Jagger will be a great uncle

when Ricky gets to a certain age, but right now...

Am I doing this... right?

Nobody's giving me any input here.

Oh my God, I would love to be a fly on the wall

to see Jagger babysit.

You ready? You ready?

Oh yeah, hang out with Uncle.

I think I'm stuck.

Ricky, I think I'm stuck.

I feel nervous about babysitting because nobody is there to help me.

Let's go get some work done. Let's get some shit done, Rick.

Okay, Ricky, this is our warehouse.

Check this out, Ricky.

Trying to get the Haunted Hike a-boomin'. Kinda like going and starting a job

and you have no idea what you're even doing there.

Hmm...

What's going on here?

And nobody's told you nothing.

And then you're sitting there going, what the fuck?

And now people are mad, and they're yelling, and that's scary.

Nice. Comfy.

Now, you fall asleep, 'cause I gotta go for a smoke.

I don't know, do I just... Yeah, I can't smoke near you.

What do I do there?

Ricky?

- Hello! - How's it going?

Hey, boys, how's it goin'?

- Good! - Good to see you guys again.

Nice to see ya!

I think the radio ad's gonna boost our sales.

It's gonna get to every Vegrevillian

because as soon as you cross the Vegreville border,

you can only listen to this station.

I think they have weird blockers set up, so I don't know what they've done there.

Bang up job, and our ad's definitely gonna get everyone in Vegreville.

Nobody outside of Vegreville.

Has to go a couple of towns over. They might hear it in Harry Hill.

I don't know if they'd hear it in Two Hills.

They might have it in Two Hills? I think Lavoy will hear it.

All right, well, gentlemen, any time you're ready.

It's recording?

Oggity boogity boo! The Haunted Hike is coming to town.

You're gonna maybe... shit your pants!

- It's so scary in here! - You can't say shit on the radio!

Guys, we gotta keep the swears down.

Swears no-go for the radio?

- Fuck, I'm sorry. - Just, mmm...

We're at Baba's house...

- We're at Baba's house. - Exactly! Yes!

Oggity boogity boo! The Haunted Hike is back in town!

It's happening every weekend in October, and holy shit!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Oh, jeez.

I'm at Baba's house, where are you? The bar?

I don't think we actually try with our marketing.

I think it's literally just us having fun.

If people hate it, they hate it. If they like it, they like it.

Dawson, I think I pooped my pants, it's that scary.

I think that I peed my pants, Jagger,

- I'm terrified. - It stinks, Dawson. It stinks.

It's wet, Jagger, come on down to the Haunted Hike

this October running every week and buy your tickets.

Please support us we need some money.

That seemed a little graphic at points there.

Oh...

- Our marketing is just us. - Yeah.

I gotta say, honestly. It's just us.

- Pleasure. - Just make sure if you can

on your editing, you can add some spooky ghouls or something.

Oh, there'll be plenty of sound effects. We'll add to the wetness.

- To the wetness... - Yeah.

Fuckin' nailed it in there.

Yeah, this is highway frontage, man.

Oh, this is looking good.

- Looking good. - This is a beautiful spot.

I think the billboard is fantastic advertising.

I think it's gonna do us so good.

It's on the side of the highway, on a busy high-traffic area.

It's a sure shot to bring people to the Haunted Hike.

That's perfect.

Holy...

Oh, jeez.

'Kay, well how big is this thing?

Okay, let me get up on your shoulders.

- Hold her steady. - Dawson...

I'm gonna throw out my back.

This is unsafe.

This better be worth it.

We better get at least 10 ticket sales outta this fuckin'

- back-breaking scenario here. - Holy fuck.

What do you think about the size?

Uh...

- That's a hard read. - You don't like?

I think the size coulda been a little bigger.

But it's good enough. I thought my wiener was big,

that sign's knocked it outta the park.

It is what we got and we got what we have.

It's a billboard on the side of the road. What the fuck else are you looking at

in Alberta when you're driving? You see this fucking derelict

motor home on the side with two boys on a shitter

saying there's a haunted house? That's advertising.

That sounds interesting.

Have you ever come across a billboard like that?

I haven't.

'Kay, we got some potential customers.

Okay, here we go. Oh...

Oh!

You'll shit your pants if you come.

Woo-hoo!

- Nice. - That coulda been 80 bones there.

- More. More. - 120.

- How's it going? - Ah... it's going good.

I'm tired, exhausted...

Tired of us just being here and everyone else being somewheres else.

Yeah, us, just workin' and...

We just think it's, yeah, so...

That's okay. We'll get it done and it's just temporary, right?

I have not been involved in the Haunted Hike this year

because I...

We were done.

I have too many other things on my plate.

You know, it was a success before.

- Yeah, it was. - That's why you guys redid it.

Yeah, and you know why we quit? Because it was a lot of work.

It was just too much. Yeah, exactly.

It's a lot of work, and I think they forget how much

work's involved with building a haunted hike.

It'll get finished. How good will it be...

is what we'll wait and see.

There's still so much to do.

My days... I'm fucked. I haven't had a day off in forever.

We're opening in a few days and as you can see,

we're not quite there yet.

Need to hang one more camera.

There's a lot of cameras.

The boys, if they were in here full-time, we'd be so ahead of the game

and it would be probably to, not just my standard, but theirs too.

But it's been a fucking busy summer.

Between the matcha trailer, Young Farts, parade.

That fuckin' stupid Hands on the Trailer competition,

and then a TV show. Yeah, it's a lot in four months.

We have to open the doors. If we don't open the doors,

we're straight up fucked. So, like, no matter what it looks like,

we got to open it, and if it's still not half-finished,

then we gotta make sure the actors are ten times better

to make the money worth the money to come visit.

Yeah, I hope we can find some people that really meet our criteria.

Experience is big. Are you afraid of the dark?

Like, the lights are on now, but when the lights are off,

maybe they're not the same.

- That's what we're here to find out. - Yeah.

- Welcome! - Hello!

- How's it going? - Welcome in, welcome in!

Ah, the man.

- This is one of our veterans, Don. - Seasoned vet.

All right, so I think we're gonna start off this audition

- with a couple of questions. - Okay.

Would you narc on your boss if you caught them smoking inside a business?

Hell no.

As long as they give me one, I'm fine.

Okay, all right.

- Do you like Halloween? - Of course.

Are you excited to scare?

Oh man, I'm more than excited.

Yeah, this should be a real blast.

Are you afraid of the dark?

- No. Are you? - Okay.

A little bit.

Do you have any experience scaring?

- Yes. - What's your experience scaring?

Every Halloween I scare the neighborhood kids.

Scared a few other people.

Now I guess the only thing it boils down to is the scream.

Okay.

Really? I gotta scream?

- Oh! - Oh, yeah!

Boo.

- Peace out! - Shaka brah.

Now we gotta check their cardio,

- see how quick they can move. - Nimble.

It's time for the obstacle course.

Welcome to the obstacle course!

I'm excited to see what you got, man!

I'm ready.

Boo!

Ha!

Holy shit!

Try and beat that, guys!

Woo!

Oh yeah!

Oh, yeah.

Meow.

All right, man, we got a lot of options here. Good.

Interesting.

There's pros and cons

- to every single person. - Like, I'm hesitant on a few.

What's your thought on him, 'cause I really want him to be a part. But...

Who are we kidding man? Like we need all, we need as many hands as we can.

We need every single person here.

Who are we to judge?

They're all hired. We need them.

- Teresa? - Yes?

Have you seen the boys? - I have not seen the boys.

Check upstairs. I don't know where they are.

Jagger, are you up here?

Jesus. Jagger? These fuckin' guys.

Jagger? Dawson?

Dory, have you seen the boys?

Um, have you checked the bathroom, maybe they're takin' a shit?

Yeah, that's probably exactly where they are.

That's where I always go.

Look at this, man. We're in the big fuckin' city!

Do you know how many people are here with money to buy our tickets?

This is gonna work, man. This is gonna work.

The scariest haunted house ever. We only have so many people in Vegreville,

so we had to go to Edmonton because they have more people there

that might wanna come to our haunted house.

Even if we got 0.003% of the population, that's huge for this haunted house.

Yeah, fuck yeah!

Is anybody looking at this?

I think we're turning heads.

Are you guys going to the Haunted Hike?

It's so fun.

- I think we were crackin' necks. - Come on down to the Haunted Hike.

I think a lot of people were like, holy smokes,

I gotta go to that.

I'm hoping.

Hey, are you guys coming to the Haunted Hike?

It's the scariest haunted house in Alberta.

- Do you got a girlfriend? - No.

You can find one at the Haunted Hike.

Do you want to come to our haunted house?

Would you like some--

Oh my, fuck, That is scarier than the Haunted Hike.

- Do you guys make people sign waivers? - We're in Vegreville and the law

doesn't come there very often. If you sue us, I'd be really upset.

We'd lose everything.

Between me and Dawson, I'd say I'm definitely the marketing master.

Do you like Halloween?

No, not too much.

You don't like Halloween?

I do think I have a lot of the ideas.

I'm way more creative.

Swing them around.

We made a haunted house.

Do you want to come?

Even bad publicity is good publicity as long as people are talking about it.

Fuckin' right.

Are you guys coming to the Haunted Hike?

Fucking right, it's in Vegreville.

We're doing a haunted house now.

- What town again? - Vegreville.

It's 30 minutes away, guys, it's scary.

- Where? - Vegreville, Alberta.

It's only 30 minutes away, right?

Vegreville from Edmonton,

realistically, it's about an hour away from town.

Maybe 30 minutes.

It's worth the drive!

Tickets are 20 bucks.

All right. Right on.

We'll see you there. Thank you so much.

I'm glad we came a little bit early

and we could do a little bit of sales sbefore we go in

- and see the rodeo. - Get warmed up.

All right, man.

I felt like we had to go to the rodeo

because if that was the thing happening in the city that day

and I knew there'd be people.

All right, here we go!

Let's try our luck in here.

We're gonna rack up some serious ticket sales in here.

- Yeah, this is the spot, dude. - Fuckin' place is huge!

Have you heard of the Haunted Hike in Vegreville?

- Can I get the tickets or what? - You wanna buy some tickets?

- Tickets are twenty bones. - Yeah!

Fuck yeah!

I love your TikToks!

I think our rodeo experience was super successful

and it's gonna be a sold out show.

These old farts, found some young farts.

Yeah!

- He made it! He kept going, he's good! - Oh, yeah!

He stayed on!

Good idea coming to the city.

- For advertising. - Cheers, man.

All right, welcome everybody.

So just remember, tonight's gonna be actually pretty rusty.

If you don't scare people, it's just because it was the first day.

And then it gets better and better.

It's grand opening. We're finally almost there.

It'll be openable. Maybe it won't be up to our standards,

but it'll be open. Well, it has to be open.

We've got about 30 minutes before we're opening, about 30 minutes.

I don't feel like we are at all ready for what's about to come.

No, no, right there. No over here.

- This way? - Well, let go--

Can you answer, like, we don't got a lot of time.

I mean, this is a pretty big gamble.

If it fucking fails, we've kind of just kiboshed everything

we've done this summer. This looks like nothing's done.

When it's really dark with the fog, it looks pretty all right.

Can't not have this be a success.

Honestly, we're just gonna make it a success, people will come,

they'll get scared, we'll make 20 bones--

- Per person. - ...per person.

- They're gonna have a great time. - Fuck, yeah.

Fuckin' right, we're gonna open the doors,

we're ready to start scaring here today.

Ho, ho, ho, we're ready to rock.

I didn't know what to do with the other hand there.

Ready to rock!

You ready, Dad? I think it's gonna go good.

- We're on. - Oh yeah, we'll see how this goes.

This is my role at the hike this year.

Right, Ricky, we'll let everybody else work.

Yeah, send them in.

I'm just happy to be doing this again.

Look at me, look at me. I'm in fuckin' big time fuckin' scare mode right now.

Like I'm ready to fuckin' scare people.

Holy! That was fuckin' creepy!

I'm in a clown costume, scaring's fun.

I like watching on the cameras, everyone going through, getting scared.

You hear all the raucous, it's a good time.

- Boo! - Ah!

It's our fuckin' passion! We enjoy scaring people,

we enjoy seeing how people react when they get scared.

It's fun, it's fun!

- Boo! - No! No!

Seeing the fear in people's eyes, it's priceless.

It's that high that I assume is like crack.

The grand finale is the chainsaw.

You don't even have to dress up with that one.

That fucker makes you pay attention.

- He was screaming. - It was so scary,

I was like screaming in every room.

Oh, man.

Okay, let me run you through this a little bit.

I'm running some specials for The Haunted Hike.

- Ooh... - This is the vampire's blood.

It's strawberry blood rimmed around the cup.

- People really go in here? - Yeah.

Like...

You know, we put a lot of money into this,

we bought the building, maxed out credit cards.

You gotta spend money to make money. You build it and they will come.

This weekend shows it.

Look, everyone's laughing. They're having a hoot.

For Dad, like, we wanted to keep him around.

He's been happy and the whole family's still rocking and rolling,

so fuck yeah.

It's like Ricky Bobby, tough push, but...

It's worth it in the end, right?

- Right? - I'm impressed.

We have ticket sales. There could have been nobody

- even coming, even if we built it. - It's been a ridiculous summer.

I'm impressed. I didn't see this happening.

I feel like we've all been just ready to explode. Dad.

Are you crying?

- Aw! - Honey...

- Ah, Dad! - Good work.

Yeah, pretty cool. Um...

So proud.

Fuck. Look! Look...

Look at them, my family, the way we are, that's life.

We're still tight, best friends.

I don't need money, cars.

Nothing. Them.

That's it.

It's pretty cool.

Well, it's been one absolute hell of a ride

and look at us, we're here.

I think we jammed a year's worth of shit into four months.

At least.

Now back to normal.

I don't know what the fuck normal is.

- What is normal. - There's normal here?

We're going back somewhere.

I don't know.

What's next for Young Farts?

Who the fuck knows! The world is our oyster.

And I guarantee ya, somethin' strange is down the pipes.

I think it's gonna be some fuckin', crazy shit.

Get strapped up, get buckled up, and fuckin' yee-haw.

It's always something new and I'm excited,

but I need a little bit of a nap or a vacation.

All right. Well...

Are we done?

- Is that a wrap? - Is this it?

- What are we doing now? - Did we make a show?

Are people gonna even like watching us, dude?

- I don't fuckin' know. - I don't even remember

what we said or did.

It'll be interesting to see it all. Oh, where you goin'?

I'm outta here, I'm wrapped. That's a wrap.

That's fucking a wrap, for sure. We're drinking beers, man.

- I'm fucking ready. - We're drinkin' beers tonight.

That was our chance of a season two.

Down the drain, down the drain.

Holy shit.

♪ We got older it's no different ♪

♪ We've always had each other's backs since we were kids ♪

♪ Don't wanna die in Alberta ♪

♪ But I won't ever leave ♪

♪ So I plan to live forever ♪