Original subtitles

♪ Well is your RV shit and you need a fucking part ♪

♪ Well holy fuck we own Young Farts RV Parts ♪

♪ We got so much shit and it's all online ♪

♪ If you order it up it'll come on time ♪

♪ And you can trust us we got a show on fuck'n Prime ♪

♪ If your unit's right fucked we'll save you a dime ♪

♪ If she's right fuck banged up we have a part for you ♪

♪ We're just two young guys chasing dreams like you ♪

♪ So come on down or shop online ♪

♪ With us two boys you'll be just fine! ♪

♪ We got older it's no different ♪

♪ We've always had each other's backs since we were kids ♪

♪ Don't wanna die in Alberta ♪

♪ Don't wanna die till I feel better ♪

♪ Don't wanna die in Alberta ♪

♪ But I won't ever leave ♪

♪ So I plan to live forever ♪

Door frame is rotten.

Tressa, I'm leaving this green tape on your computer.

Let me know when you've packaged it so I can get a tracking number.

Yeah, you bet.

Hey, how's it going?

I got all those pictures you sent me.

I have 2,500 missed texts

and 147 missed calls today.

What were you asking for it again?

Perfect, thank you.

It's been a crazy summer.

It's fucking busy at Young Farts.

Like we're in a time crunch.

We have a whole haunted house we have to get done.

We've spent a lot of money on this building and we've literally

been doing stupid shit all summer.

We have Dad over here probably wanting a hand.

Yeah, we're pretty strapped for time.

The Vegreville Fair is probably

the biggest event in Vegreville every year.

It's like our population of what, 5,000 goes to like 15,000 all in a hurry.

It's really, really good for the town and it's a hoot.

We do a float every year at the Vegreville Parade,

except every year we fuck up and we forget that the parade's happening.

And here we are, busy, haunted house, good thing we committed to the parade.

Here we are in the council chambers in the town of Vegreville.

That's me.

We're known as the Ukrainian town.

You know, we're pretty famous with our egg.

The 50th anniversary of Pysanka just happened last week.

And the Vegreville Country Fair kicks off in a couple of days with a parade.

Yeah, so the Young Farts, they usually have some sort of float.

Do you remember any of the Young Farts floats from the past?

Uh, Kathy, do you want to elaborate on that there?

Sure.

The boys themselves are individual and...

Oh boy.

Dad? You in here?

Yeah, what's going on?

Well, I'm just coming to see how you're feeling on this thing.

Fuck. There's a lot to do.

We're about two and a half months away from opening night of the Haunted Hike.

We have 20 rooms to do in an 8,000-square-foot building.

It's going to be tight.

Do you think it's gonna happen?

I didn't do the math. If we did five days a room, times twent--

That's actually quite a lot of time for a room.

- ...to finish. - Yeah.

That's 20 days, what's the math?

I quit school.

I'm not good at math.

20 times 5, I don't think that's enough days. That's 100 days.

Oh, my God.

- How many days of the week? - 30, 60, 70 days.

Okay.

What do we have to do next?

Just... lock in and get focused.

- Well, do you need any help? - We still need a lot of stuff.

- Okay. - Yeah.

If you walk through our haunted house without any props inside,

you'd go, "What the fuck is this place?"

Like, yeah, there's walls, but without props,

there's no scene, there's no theme.

You're literally just walking room to room and going, "What the fuck is this?"

You need props. Props are the haunted house.

Well, hopefully we can buy some Haunted Hike shit--

I'm excited to see what all is here.

Dad's put us in charge of getting all the props.

He said, as long as I got those props, I can make it happen.

Oh, look at this "misc," rusty metal for the barn room.

Rain barrel.

I think, yep.

That wheelbarrow, all this rusty shit.

Oh, we all know Dawson's just gonna find the shit.

He literally sits on the shitter and looks at stuff for sale.

Anytime I'm like, "Hey, Dawson, did you--" "Yeah, I saw that."

"Hey, Dawson did you--" "Yeah, I saw that."

- Boo! - Oh shit.

- Scary locker. - Nah.

I think we could build the entire haunted house

with all the shit here. I'm just gonna bid on everything

- and build a haunted house. - Fuck, okay.

- Let's get bidding, let's get bidding. - I'm excited.

Look at all this nice stuff!

What do you think?

- Oh, fuck. - A little variety.

I can make that work.

There's a coffin. Got horseshoes for the barn room.

Lockers, like someone could pop out of the locker and go, ah.

- Okay, I like this. - That's, that looks haunted.

Finding haunted house shit is hard, 'cause a lot of people think

what we're looking for is Halloween stuff,

but how we're building our haunted house is not Halloween-y,

it's you're walking in through an actual haunted house

that's creepy, eerie, and scares the fuck out of you

without blood, guts, and gore.

Uh...

Check that out, Mom!

- Ah, where did you get all this from? - The auction.

We made a little bit of money, so we decided

- to buy some stuff from the auction. - You know how we took

- all those trailers to the auction? - Yeah.

Well, had to spend a little bit of it on...

- ...some props. - Oh, boy.

- Actually, you know what? It's not bad. - No.

I don't know, it kinda looks like junk.

Like, what is it... What is that?

This looks like Shrek's cock.

Full of warts.

The Haunted Hike was not something I agreed with.

I don't like that we have, like,

monthly payments for gas, power, water.

So, no, I'm not into it.

Can I just ask, like, what this cost you?

What would you of hoped we paid for all this stuff?

I would have paid, let's say, $150.

It's gonna be over $1,000 for all this stuff.

That is ridiculous. That is absolutely ridiculous.

Like you could pick this up from the ditches, honestly.

But we don't have time to just go around into all the ditches.

Hey, we need junk.

- Take whatever we can get. - I will see it.

It's 8,000 square feet we got to fill and this fills up...

12 square feet.

At the end of the day it's only money.

I don't get involved in any of that.

Cam has no idea when it comes to money.

He'll just text me, "Teresa, my card's declined."

Well, 'kay, quit spending money.

Honestly, I don't know

even what's in my bank account, genuinely.

I don't think he does know how to do an e-transfer,

he wouldn't know how to go to the bank and get money, like,

he doesn't even have an email,

like, he doesn't even know how to pay a bill.

He has no clue. No clue.

- Okay, let's get to work. - Yeah, I gotta go.

- Okay, shit. - Watch out.

Well, who's unloading that?

No, really, who's unloading it?

We need to really get on this float.

Well, we'll have to use a fifth wheel. Open concept.

Leave half of it.

- We can have some fake grass. - We can put the toilet on the top

of the fifth wheel, use a dummy, he's sitting there.

I like the toilet idea with the guy on the toilet.

What the hell is going on here?

- Baba! - Safety meeting or what?

Baba!

Baba is Ukrainian for "grandmother."

They don't call me grandma, right?

They call me, Baba.

Being Ukrainian is very important to me.

My mom is an absolute, typical Ukrainian baba.

"Don't fuck with them or they'll run you over" type.

That's a baba.

- Nice to see you! - Well, I came to see...

I came to see what my winners are doing.

- Big winners, big winners! - Hard at work.

- And you're sitting again? - Come sit.

Are you making money?

We're thinking about how we make money over here.

We're thinkin' of new video ideas.

Don't even go there, don't even go there.

Oh, our Baba gets mad about the videos and our video content.

We got fuck shit out here!

We got fuck shit up here!

We'll get you unfucked.

We got so many fridges here we can go fucking bowling with them!

Fuck!

The swearing, it has to be a little bit less.

One time, I think there was no other word but F, F, F, F.

- So four is the limit? - Yeah, don't go more.

Don't go more, please.

Well, now that we know four swear words is the limit,

we got some serious activities to discuss.

The big, Veg fair's coming

- and the Grand Parade. - Are you having a float?

We were thinkin' about it.

- You haven't got one made yet? - No.

Lord.

Maybe you wanna come and help us out

with the parade? You could throw the pedaheh

- all over the road. - Yeah, pierogies off the float.

- Oh, I can do that. - Yeah?

We'll need about 600 boiled pierogies.

Buy 'em, boil 'em, and I'll throw 'em!

I think I'm definitely Baba's favourite.

I spend a lot of time with Baba, so I think that might be why.

I also know I probably call and talk to Baba more.

Crazy, you can be the favourite and not even call her as much as I do.

I hate my phone.

What do you think a professional float would look like?

- Yeah. - With less than four swear words.

Something classy, nice, you know, not crap.

- What makes it classy though? - Yeah, what's the class?

Like, the tassels.

- Well, nice, like classy. - With tassels.

Whatever, just think about it.

What do you think about pyrotechnics?

- What the hell is pyrotechnics? - Like big...

- Like sparks. - Okay, I'll spark you, alright!

Anyways...

'Kay, well, we're on it, I'm excited.

We might win Best Parade Float, looking good.

You better be nice.

- See you later. - See you, Baba.

- Bye. - Bye.

Maybe they'll surprise everybody, and put on something really great.

Oh, Lord Jesus, I don't know what's gonna happen.

Do you know her order number?

Um...

Maybe Dawson can pull one off a fridge

- out in the fridge yard. - Yeah. That's a good idea.

Jim.

Yeah, what the fuck do you want now?

- What number is this? - This is number two.

Man, next week, I think we gotta shoot for three.

- What's happening? - Hey, good morning, how's things?

- Mornin' - I got a furnace.

- Okay. Sorry, I've been slacking. - No worries.

There's so much shit I have going on. I gotta get rid of all these trailer

shells 'cause we're literally hemorrhaging money

having them sit in the yard. I have to help my mom with emails.

She has questions that I have to help her with.

I gotta find big items for Tressa and bring them to her.

I gotta retest things or figure out what we're posting.

And I gotta do this parade float.

Dawson? Oh, fuck, you were easy to find.

- Jagger! - What are you doing?

- Working. What are you doing? - Working?

I just heard some pretty nuts news.

Dad bought a transit bus... for the haunted house.

Yeah, he thinks it's gonna be a pretty cool scene,

but he put us in charge of picking it up.

You know we have a parade float to build in two days?

To put it into perspective,

each room usually takes about three days to complete.

With the bus, yes, it might be hard to go get.

You get it, you stick it in. It's a whole room built.

So just as much time as it would take to build one,

this one rolls in, it rolls into a room.

You wanna piss around the whole day, gettin' a bus?

- I'm giving it 45 minutes. - Man.

- I'm giving it a 45-minute endeavour. - You better hope

that bus looks nice enough to use in the parade float

'cause we're not gonna have a float if we're fuckin' around with a transit bus.

- Grab some tools. - They're in my truck.

Yeah. Two screwdrivers and a case of beer.

Yeah, fuck. Awesome.

Holy fuck, what do we got here?

El transito.

Holy... Man, there's not a fucking chance

we're moving this bus today.

Give us a fighting chance.

In 45 minutes?

Okay, well.

You can do a lot in 45 minutes.

What are you doing in 45 minutes?

I could build a bird house, crush about eight beers.

Can you get a bus in 45 minutes?

I think so, with the right tools and the right energy.

Paging Dad, this bus is fucked.

I think it takes me 45 minutes to make frickin' Kraft Dinner.

It's actually seven minutes exactly, I set the timer.

We might as well try to get this thing running.

'Kay.

- Got anything? - Fuck all.

Is that doing anything?

Nothin'

I don't think the guys are getting this started.

What's up?

- No luck? - No power.

There's not a single thing working.

Fuck all.

- Do you have booster cables? - I might.

- Or two screwdrivers? - Nope, nope.

Fuck it. Let's just fill it, roll it, give her.

Fill it, roll it, give her.

I don't know if there's gas.

Oh!

That's nice!

I can't see any of this going well,

any of it, not a thing.

Yeah, that'll work.

We're just gonna yank it over and see how she goes.

Ready?!

Just pull ahead a little.

Oh, yeah!

Yeah!

Fuck yeah!

Whooo-wee!

I don't think it's gonna fit.

If the bus doesn't fit, we're gonna make her fit.

We're gonna squeeze it in.

I'll fucking ram it into the building

and people can enter the hike through my rammed in bus.

Go to the left a bit.

It's going in.

Not a chance it's not making it in.

Squeeze.

Squeeze.

- This way? - Yeah, closer to that wall.

Give her! Giver her!

Ho-ho!

Holy shit!

I'm excited to see where we land.

Holy, that's a perfect fit!

Ahhhh...

Fuck, yeah!

She made her, she cleared!

- Nice! - That's so funny.

Uh, that did not take 45 minutes,

that took a whole day

and we haven't even started on the float.

You're not excited about how good of a fit this was?

I just... We need this for October and we need the float for two days.

And I don't give a fuck about the float we shouldn't have even done it.

Well, I'm gonna go and work on that if you guys--

Okay, well, we did it, man. I told you it was gonna be a good time.

Yeah, whatever.

Ready to get the parade float done?

Sure.

- Nice stuff. - Okay.

We definitely committed to the parade before the Haunted Hike.

I was probably unwrapping my Christmas present saying,

"Yeah, I'll build a float. That's so far away."

- You think we got time for this today? - Yup.

But hey, you know what? We thrive on last minute.

If we just make it happen, I don't know how we do it,

and usually it comes together.

- Nice. - That's better.

The window didn't even break.

Watch your head.

Nice!

Do you think Baba's gonna like what we got going on here?

I just... I think it'll be classy.

It looks like a garbage mess.

And we have till tomorrow to get all of this done.

I think we have to call some help.

Let's call some help.

- Let's do this! - Let's go!

Oh, yeah.

This is gonna be done in no time.

Oh, nice, wow, this is going so quick.

Oh! Nice!

"Hey, you wanna come help me out with a trailer?"

I said, "Sure why not?"

Tryna to just spruce her up any way we can.

Get her going.

No streaks! No streaks!

That's nice stuff.

I think it's gonna be one of the greasiest floats

in the parade, that's for sure! Greasy!

- Cheers, bud. Union. - Cheers, man.

Look at that banner!

- This is looking pretty nice. - Classy.

For me, classy is as big of rims as you can possibly fit

- on your vehicle, rolling on big rims. - And doves, you need the doves.

You want some nice tassels.

Some say I was born with it, some say I just acquired it...

I think whatever I do in this world

is high end classy.

That's nice.

I think we're ready for the parade tomorrow.

Great job, guys. Thanks, everyone.

Nobody in this world cares more about their community

than people in a small community.

Beautiful.

And I think Vegreville's

been doing a really, really, really good job

at bringing the community all together.

We just live down the street, so we just walk here,

we reserve the bench.

We enjoy going to parades.

- Lots of candy for the kids. - Yeah.

Yum!

Hey, free candy, it's an election year.

I have no idea what to expect.

I asked them to make it a little classy, but I don't know if they did

or not, because I don't know if they know classy.

It'll be funny. It'll be a laugh, for sure.

Yeah!

Yeah!

I think my favourite part about being Ukrainian

is definitely the food, hanging out with family.

And I really like when they have like, Pysanka days,

- and you can go drink and dance. - And dance.

- And potato vodka. - And they got the bands

- and the accordions. - I love potato vodka!

You know what, this looks really, really good.

- Yeah, I like it. - We look very professional, very classy.

I hope Baba likes it

- as much as I do. - Oh, yeah. Me too.

Is that them? This one right here?

What's on top?

I think it's always very important to make Baba proud.

Baba's Ukrainian, she has Ukrainian roots,

she loves dancing, the accordion, she loves that kinda shit.

Not shit, that kinda stuff.

So we're polite for Baba, she'd love an accordion on the parade float.

I think that's what would blow her away the most. The Polka.

- Hey! Hey! - Woo!

Baba!

Woo! Yay, Jagger! Whoa, whoa!

- Yeah! - Woo!

Ah! I got these for you! Aw!

Oh, even Dawson's doing the dance!

I got you pierogies! Pedaheh!

- How's the music? - What do you think of the float?

I'm so proud of you, boys.

- Oh, thanks, Baba! - That's so nice!

See you, Baba, we'll see you later!

Oh, I love you, Baba!

- I think she was tearing up. - And we had the shirts on.

Baba's reaction honestly made my heart melt,

it was so nice, it's so nice to see.

That is so nice.

Yeah, it's nice.

It's nice.

I didn't expect that.

I guess the proudness of the Ukrainian culture and heritage

we brought for Baba, I genuinely didn't think it would make her that emotional.

That was--

I'm sorry. It was very nice.

I never, ever dreamed they'd do that for me. Never.

It's nice to show her that maybe sometimes we can do a nice job

in her opinion, not just swearing on the internet.

I am very proud... What's not to be proud of?

They're good boys.

Well, guys, we did a good float.

Woo!

- The fair! - Look at all the food trucks!

- This is a nice fair! - I fucking love the fair!

Oh, mine had a little egg.

- Oh... - Thank you so much. Ricky!

Look what unc' got ya.

Oh!

He picked the right guy!

Watch, I'm gonna get sick.

Yeah!

Yeah, I knew it.

Gonna give her a whirl.

He's pretty good. You might owe him a hundred bucks, here.

Look at that absolute focus!

Fuck off, you!

20 seconds so far.

You're in the zone.

- Oh, my God. - Go, Dawson, go!

- Oh, he's shaking! - No! Come on!

Oh!

Not bad.

Where's the beer garden?

That's the main question. This is it.

My favourite attraction.

What a fucking absolute nightmare.

It's so bad I don't even know where to start.

Yeah, shit's getting out of control here.

When we got this much shit going on, it's fucking overwhelming.

But I have a goal, October. Get the Haunted Hike done in time.

But it's gonna be tight, for sure.

It's fucking disgusting.

♪ We got older it's no different ♪

♪ We've always had each other's backs since we were kids ♪

♪ Don't wanna die in Alberta ♪

♪ But I won't ever leave ♪

♪ So I plan to live forever ♪