Original subtitles

WEBVTT FILE

- Paul!

[theme music playing]

- Yes!

- Oh, man.

- Au revoir!

- Yeah!

- Oh. - No!

- Ha!

- Kia ora koutou and welcome to Taskmaster.

Tonight, five comedians will compete in a series of tasks that are as

frustrating as they are trivial, all in pursuit of this.

A beautiful golden trophy that previous winners have discovered is

massively undervalued at cash converters.

And those five comedians are...

Alice Snedden!

Bree Tomasel!

Jack Ansett!

Jackie van Beek!

And Pax Assadi!

And to my left is a man who is saved in my phone as "Leggy Brunette Work".

It's Paul Williams!

I'd like a prize task straight away, please, Paul.

Of course, Jeremy.

So as always, we've asked our contestants to each

bring in a prize from home.

The winner of tonight's episode will take home all five prizes.

Tonight, we've asked them to bring in the thing that is way

heavier than it looks.

Let's start with Bree.

I think let's just show my prize that I've brought in.

Now obviously, a child can lift it up, not heavy.

or so you think, because I've filled this particular soft

toy with two goon sacks.

Quite heavy, one in the head, one that is in quite a

precarious position.

That genuinely is an unfortunate position for the nozzle

of the goon, isn't it?

You should see when you want to drink it straight from the

sack to your mouth, looks even worse.

Alice, what did you bring in?

- Again, I think we should just show it, really,

so that I can speak to what you see.

Yeah.

- Oh.

- So, obviously, Marley and Me, it's a movie starring,

as you can see, Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson,

and it features a dog.

What could seem lighter fare than that?

And then what's crazy about this film is the dog dies.

You cannot get through this film without crying.

Even now, it rips me apart.

Would you prefer if the dog was dead on the cover?

I just think that would have been a more honest cover.

Jackie, what did you bring in?

Did you just call me Jackie?

Or did I imagine that?

Oh, right, sorry.

This is Jackie.

Jackie's beside you.

There's a person next to you.

Yeah, sorry about that.

I thought you'd just developed a pet name for me.

Jackie, what did you bring in for your prize task?

Well, Jeremy, I...

Sorry, as you were, as you were.

Jackie, what did you bring in?

[Alice] Well, I'd like to, sorry.

Just a little woman on woman crime right there.

- Yeah. - All right, here we go.

Jackie, what did you bring in?

- A cake.

I baked a cake.

- It doesn't look very heavy.

- Okay, it is heavy.

Because if you look at my second shot,

you'll see that I very cleverly managed

to find three very large rocks,

stuffed them into the cake tin, barely able to carry it.

- Jack, what did you bring in?

- Me?

- Yes, you.

- I brought in a Minecraft book.

Not very heavy at all, but if you open it,

you'll see I've replaced the interior

with the boy in striped pajamas.

Which is not a very light read.

- And at the end of it, the dog dies.

- If you spell dog, D-A-W-G.

- Paul.

- Pax.

- Yeah, talk to me.

- What's your thing that you've brought in

that's heavier than what it looks?

- You have a Pakistani mother, yes?

- I have a Pakistani stepmother.

- Yeah, beautiful.

- Yeah.

- Pakistani mothers, they have a lot of expectation.

- They do.

- So what I have brought in is the overbearing weight

of the expectation of a Pakistani mother.

And to represent that, I've brought this.

My mother gives me one of these once every couple of months.

Hoping that it'll inspire me to take a paper.

I know, from my own experience with a

Pakistani stepmother,

that the weight of expectation of a Pakistani mother is intense and heavy.

It's scary.

It's scary, but it doesn't surprise me. So you get one point.

My mother is gonna beat me after this.

I also have watched Marley and Me, it is one of the saddest things

I've ever seen in my entire life

so I'm aware of that, so it's not heavier than what you'd expect.

Yeah, but did you know that going in?

Absolutely.

Because people like you spoiled it for me.

So you get two points.

Fair enough, yeah.

Three points for Jack.

Yep, still going with that.

Four points for Jackie and five points for Bree.

Okay, let's get into the first proper task, Paul.

- Sure thing, Jeremy.

There's no I in team,

but there is a team task in my Ipad.

Here it is.

- Hello, Pax.

- Paul.

- Hello, Bree.

- Jesus!

- How are ya?

- Good, thank you.

How are you?

- Yeah, great.

I'm doing real well.

- I'm sorry for my exaggerated response.

I freak out when white people surprise me.

- G'day mate, how are ya?

How are ya. - How the hell are ya?

- Nice to see ya. - Good to see ya, hey.

- Yeah, yeah. - Great to see ya.

- Good stuff.

- You look well. - So do ya.

- You look real well.

- Hello Alice.

- Hi Paul.

- Hello Bree.

- Moved my locker.

- It's just better angles to film.

- 'Cause I'd say if you had Bree's locker.

- I'm comfortable with those.

- Don't look at it.

- Ooh.

Out alpha the rest of your team.

And assert yourself as the dominant member.

- Most alpha wins.

- Don't let the rest of the team know.

- Or you'll receive zero points.

You have until the end of your next task.

- Your time starts now.

- This feels like a character assassination.

Do it! Now!

You're not doing it.

I'm also an alpha.

- Oh, you are too, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Pick that up, Paul. - No.

Pick it up now.

Oh, see?

I'm a natural, Paul.

Well, no. White person...

Jesus!

Jack Ansett.

Jack Ansett.

Jack Ansett.

I don't really know.

Have we elected a team leader yet or anything?

Are we supposed to do that?

I think I should probably--

Yeah, you can be team leader.

OK, do you want me to read it?

Good to see you.

I'll read this, eh?

Nah, mate, I've got it.

Step aside.

As team leader, I will allow you to pick it up, Pax.

- To be honest, I love reading it and I love doing it for you.

- Yeah, nice.

- Draw a portrait.

- That depicts the taskmaster.

- That depicts the taskmaster playing ping pong.

- Best portrait wins.

- You must have at least one ball bouncing at all times.

- If no balls are bouncing, the task is over.

- You may only draw one line at a time.

- And must take turns drawing.

- Okay, I'll draw first.

Sorry, I haven't finished reading.

- Oh, okay. - Just give me a sec.

- You have 12 minutes maximum.

So my advice would be,

when you're going to grab a ball, if there's two--

- What is it about you that thinks

you need to tell two women

how to do something as simple as bounce a ball?

I find that quite upsetting, to be honest, in 2025.

Whatever's going on here has to stop.

- Alice and Bree, that is the most passive-aggressive meeting

- And the history of the show, that was full on.

- I still feel uncomfortable thinking about it.

- Yeah, there was a real sort of toxic sexual energy.

- Jackie, had you met Jack at that stage?

Did you know much about him?

- No.

- I thought, oh dear, okay, he is like a kind of,

an excitable, young...

- Leader.

- No.

- I do feel I owe an apology to Jack.

I ran out of paper and that's why these two

didn't also get the task.

- Oh.

- It was really confusing.

- Yes.

- 'Cause I know Jack,

and he walked in being like,

"I wanna be the leader."

And I was like,

"You're the least leader-y guy I know."

- Yeah.

- Who are we gonna see first Paul?

- Up first, it's Jackie and Pax being led

by their undisputed team leader, Jack Ansett.

- Thank you.

- As leader of the group,

I'm just gonna say Jackie's gonna bounce,

and we're gonna draw.

- But could you be sending us up Schitt's Creek?

- Should we have a new vote?

- What are we voting on?

- On the leader.

- Who votes that Jack should be the team leader?

It would be a really good opportunity for me

as a young person to step up into a leadership role.

You need to give me an opportunity to rise up in the ranks.

- What do you think the ranks currently are?

- Well, I just feel I'm the least experienced.

- I would say the least successful as well.

- The least successful.

- Financially, probably the least, like the shakiest.

- Okay, I'll give you money if I can be the leader.

- Okay, 10 bucks.

- Yep, done.

- I want Lego F1.

- Done.

So don't blow your whistle yet, Paul.

- We're just gonna have a practice.

There's no pressure, there's no pressure.

- No, don't you get involved.

- Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

- You lost.

- What are you doing?

- Can I make a suggestion?

- Yeah, I'll sort this one out.

- Yeah, yeah.

When Jack comes in, he doesn't touch the ball.

- Yeah, as team leader, I think that's a really good idea.

- Jack, when you draw.

- When I draw?

- When each person draws, say done.

- When each person draws, say done.

- Why are you repeating what I'm saying?

- 'Cause I'm the leader.

- Before we start, just because I'm the leader,

would really give me confidence if you guys could go,

"Jack is the leader, ooh, ooh, ooh."

- I will not do that.

- There is no way.

- I'll give you 20 bucks and another Lego.

- Jack is the leader, ooh, ooh, ooh.

- On my whistle.

- Say, "Done."

- Done.

- Done.

Don't touch it.

- Done.

- Done.

- Done.

Go, go Jack.

Don't touch it.

Don't you dare touch it.

Don't even look at it. Don't look at it.

- No, I'm not, I'm not.

- Good leadership, Jack.

- Yes, Paul. - Don't touch it.

- Not touching.

I'm making the decision to not touch, not you.

- Done.

- Done.

- Done.

Don't touch. - Yep.

- Just a mental health check.

How's everyone coping?

As the leader, it's a good thing to check in on.

[ Jackie yelling]

- What are you doing Pax?

Where's the ball?

- Oh my God. - You got it.

- Well done, Pax. - Quick, quick, quick.

- Well done.

- Done.

- Someone's gotta call it

when we think the drawing's gonna get worse.

- It's getting quite explicit.

- And done. -And done.

- Well done, Pax. -Our balls are bouncing.

- Yep. -Okay, excellent.

- I was just having a moment with Pax.

- Can we do that again, but just without--

- Well, can you not go for it? I'll give you authority

over that as team leader.

- Thank you.

- Jack, in your experience with alphas, do they normally

bribe people to be the leader

and then just repeat what the other people say?

Look I did my best in a dire circumstance these two have the

egos of a I guess you, I don't know.

- Woah. - And it was like....

[Pax] Unnecessary. ...pipe down bro pipe down.

Where was this energy during the task?

The alpha task is over. - I'M NOT DONE!

It's time for our team of two and this team ain't big enough

for the both of them.

It's Alpha Alice and Big Dog Bree.

- So do you understand the task?

I can explain it to you if you like.

- Nah, I got it.

It doesn't take long for me to get that sort of stuff.

Yeah. - So you understand?

- I get it.

I probably get it the most.

- You think you get it more than Alice?

- Yeah, I think so.

I've got you.

I am a leader and I can sort this out.

- Yeah, I'm more kind of the quiet, confident type.

You've heard of those leaders.

You're Nelson Mandela.

- On my whistle.

- Drop the ball.

- Oh no.

- I think both balls have stopped.

- That's not true.

- Both balls have stopped.

- I want a video replay.

Anyway, Paul, it's just been lovely.

Thank you, man, I appreciate that.

- Thank you. -Bree, what a class act.

- Cheers, mate.

- Yeah, sure, there, there.

- What do you have in common, do you think,

in terms of your alphaness with Nelson Mandela?

- Listen, I regret making that comparison.

Obviously, I should have shown more deference

to the great Nelson Mandela,

but maybe he'd be flattered.

- Before you score the secret alpha task,

the task did say,

"Don't let your team know about the alpha task."

So here's Bree and Alice right after that task.

- I couldn't hear what--

- I couldn't make out any of that.

- I couldn't, could you make out what was said?

I couldn't.

- Yeah, you were basically saying--

- I said, "I'm so happy you had the same thing."

- Oh, what were you talking about?

- We were talking about the STI that we had.

[Laughter]

- Yeah, we both had syphilis.

- Syphilis, syphilis. - Okay.

- And we were worried that we'd spread it to each other,

but it was a huge relief to find out, no need to panic.

- You both had it.

- Everyone in the interaction has syphilis.

- Do you buy that?

- No.

- What?

- Why would we say on national television

that we both had syphilis?

- That is a good point.

- No, it's not a good point.

- Okay.

- So first of all, let's talk about the drawing,

because that was the task, right?

- Wow.

- So clearly Jack, Jackie and Pax,

that's a better drawing than Alice and Bree.

- Okay.

- I would say four and I suppose you'd give it one.

- Yeah.

- I have to give it one, it's something.

- Yeah, if your kid brought that home,

you'd put that up on the fridge.

- I would not put that on the fridge.

- Okay, so how do you wanna score the alpha task?

- I think these guys don't get any points at all.

They knew, they knew.

- In all seriousness, I would just warn you

about the optics of penalising two queer women.

Nope, okay.

Thank you.

- I think their mind is made up.

- My parents are refugees.

- Sorry.

- Thank you so much.

- I'm pescatarian.

You know?

I've had a pretty privileged upbringing.

Sit down! Sit down!

The Alpha task, I think these two were disqualified.

Zero points for both of them.

And then I reckon Jack...

Well, these guys didn't know that he was being the Alpha.

- They had no idea at all. -Not at all!

- He needs five. -Invisible!

- It was one of the... -Five for all three?

I think five for all three.

- Five for all three. - He's the new Alpha!

That's crazy.

I suggest we move on.

- Absolutely.

- Okay, where do the scores sit

for the episode so far, Paul?

- Alice is in last on three.

In first with 13 points, Jackie Van Beek.

- Oh!

- Nice.

- Okay, I am ready for another task, Paul.

- Of course, Jeremy.

And this one's a piece of cake.

- Oh no.

Paul!

Hello Bree.

Hi Paul.

Hello Jack.

Hello Pax.

Hello Alice.

Okay.

Oh.

Birthday.

Find your cake and eat it too.

I love cake.

Fastest to eat some of the cake wins.

The cake is in this room.

Correct?

Your time starts now.

Is it a trick?

- What do you mean? -Is cake a metaphor?

- No, it's cake. -Is it actual cake?

- It's cake. -Do you know I'm dairy free?

Do you know I'm gluten intolerant?

- Are you? -Ah, I can't say.

Okay, because I'm intolerant to your bullshit.

Oh my god, okay.

That seems like a pretty simple task.

I'll tell you what, this is

the one task I hoped was going to get

get cut out of the show.

- Who's pudding pursuit are we gonna see first?

- Let's start with the single syllables.

Pax, Jax, and Bree.

- Sit up.

- Sit up!

- Sorry for yelling.

- Do you know where it is?

- I know where the cake is.

- Right here.

- Oh, it's not a cake!

It's made to look like a cake!

- That's not cake, man.

- That's icing as well.

- That's icing.

- That's icing.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- Is this what you want, Paul?

- Oh, was that even icing?

Is it like tar-based?

What is this?

- If I touch everything in this room, I'll find it.

- Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch, touch, touch.

- This is a citizen watch.

- Did you just put that in your pocket?

Oh, a sword.

It's in this room. - Yes.

Is it behind the crew?

This is a sound man.

This is a cameraman.

This is a photographer.

None of these people are cake.

I've lost my mind.

I miss my kids.

It's looking like at this point I'm not going to find it.

Who here is willing to accept some kind of bribe to

forget about your jobs?

They can't forget about their jobs.

They have to man a camera.

Cameras aren't going to operate themselves.

It smells like cake over here.

It might be my eau de cake.

These cameras have to be pointing at it.

Never mind, there's camera in literally every direction.

Okay, um...

I'm now reaching the point of, like, anger.

I'm getting to anger.

Okay.

Well, I have to make a cake.

Do I just allow myself to get to anger?

Or do I do what my therapist said

and take myself out of the situation?

I think believe in myself.

In the meantime, I'll keep looking for the cake.

Can you give me a hint?

If you give me something in return.

I've got an old prezzie card, 50 euros.

- Tell me the colour of the cake.

- What is the colour of the cake?

- Black. - The cake is black.

- Black, okay.

- The cake is black?

[Beep] you.

- Where else can I look?

- What?

- Ah!

- It's cake.

- Here's your stupid cake.

- Thank you.

- Oh my God.

- Pax, Jack, Bree, who had fun with that game?

- Yeah, you really edited that down.

- For you Bree, tell us about the range of emotions

that you go through, because at first

I think you'd be optimistic.

- Yeah, I was really optimistic,

and then I was like excited, and then I was frustrated,

and then I was a little bit horny,

and then I was like frustrated again.

- That was the only task I contemplated giving up.

- I did too.

Yeah, I ate so much icing on fake cakes.

I had the runs after.

- How was the timing, actually?

'Cause it seemed like, what?

Five, 10 minutes or something?

- Pax found the cake in 38 minutes and 29 seconds.

Bree and Jack had almost the exact same time.

So Jack took one hour, five minutes, and 13 seconds.

- Hell yeah!

- Bree took one hour, five minutes, and nine seconds.

- No! -Wow.

- So yes, only four seconds in it.

Your cake, what happened to that?

- Because I was convinced it was a trick

and I thought, "Okay, I'm going to have to make

"the cake myself."

And as the cake was baking,

I pretty much walked straight back into the room and saw it.

My only regret is I didn't put it in front of Paul

like Trunchbull and make him eat it

like he was Bruce Bogtrotter.

- So Jack's cake.

- Oh, it's lovely.

- It looks not bad.

I ate it and it was maybe the saltiest thing

I've ever eaten.

It burned my mouth.

It was like the Dead Sea times 100.

Up next, she's in the movies,

so she knows how to find the camera.

It's Jackie Van Beek.

- Oh, is it that thing?

No, that's fake.

That's that.

What, do you call that cake?

- Mm-mm.

Sorry.

I do find it quite hard just seeing stuff, actually.

- You need to think like a cake that's trying to hide.

- Sometimes when I do that, when I lose my sunglasses,

I think, what are my sunglasses seeing right now?

- What's the cake seeing right now?

- The cake's looking at me, can see me.

- Right.

- And thinking, what a fool.

Oh, okay, I see the clock.

- Is that cake?

- No.

Is that the cake?

That's the cake.

God, now I've got to eat some of it.

Yes, please.

I've stopped the clock.

Holy crap.

That was an excellent hidden cake.

- How did you guys feel watching that?

Because that must have been kind of heartbreaking.

- I feel like I need to up my Ritalin.

- Yeah.

- I feel like I need to get on Ritalin.

- But I will say that,

like I didn't find the cake within 38 seconds.

- Sure.

- I think it was still pretty impressive.

Nine minutes, 49 seconds.

- Okay, it was nine minutes.

- That's impressive.

- Well, there's still one to go, isn't there?

- Yes, sir.

There's one slice left

and it's got Alice Snedden's name all over it.

- Icing?

Does that count?

- No.

- Oh, everywhere's icing.

Ah, everything is [beep]ing icing.

- Favorite type of cake?

- Carrot.

- I feel like carrot cake needs to stop highlighting

the fact that it has carrot in it.

Don't name yourself after the worst thing about you.

It's like if I went around calling myself pedophile Paul.

- Paul.

Shockingly, that's not the worst thing about you.

Pedophilia, I can forgive.

- But what can't you?

- Hiding the cake.

So what are you doing here?

I'm masking all the shells that I've declared cake free.

Where'd that come from?

What is it?

Has that always been there?

You got it from up there and then when you brought the boat down

you also brought the seagull.

I'm blacking out.

Usually I say we can't get the rights to that, but I don't

think that's a problem.

I don't think they're suing.

Oh my god, Paul.

Can I ask you a question? Does the cake have icing on it?

Yeah, like a kind of fondant.

Like a fondant?

Yeah.

So it would look like an actual thing?

It's cake.

- Is the cake behind me?

- I can't say.

- Paul!

- Why is there a GoPro there?

- We've kind of got GoPros everywhere.

- Okay.

- We're filming this, so like,

see him, he's a camera, camera, camera.

Why would you make a cake for someone and then hide it?

It's not hidden.

So it's in plain sight?

Of course.

If I do this, have I just seen the cake?

I don't know what you saw.

Did you see the cake?

Yeah.

What?

- So is it to my right?

- What will you give me if I answer that?

- You could have my entire fee for the show.

- It's not to the right of you,

but you do owe me $50 now.

My shirt is not cake.

- The cake's not to the right of me.

The cake is to the left of me.

It's not in there.

It's not to the right of me.

It's not straight ahead.

It's to the left.

and it's not behind the cameras,

I will kill myself.

- Stop the clock.

- It's okay.

- Firstly.

- Yeah.

- Are you okay?

- It was truly, it was like a life low light

and a life highlight at the same time

because I did find it, but I did cry real tears

and watching it back now, I am similarly moved.

- So Alice found the cake in one hour,

22 minutes and 55 seconds.

- That's actually a lot shorter

than I thought it would be.

- Honestly, it felt longer in the room.

- It looked longer.

- Okay, so what are the scores?

- So that means one point for Alice,

two points for Jack,

three points for Bree,

four points for Pax,

and five points for Jackie Van Beek.

- All right, Paul,

in the words of one of New Zealand's

greatest ever children's shows,

what now?

- Jeremy, do you ever experience deja vu?

- No.

- Jeremy, do you ever experience deja vu?

Here's the task.

- Oh my God.

I've traveled back in time.

Oh God.

- Hello, Alice.

- Hello, Bree.

- Hi, Paul.

- Did it not work out?

Did the cameras not record?

I'm just gonna draw, I'm just gonna draw the thing.

I feel like we should read it.

- Well, I'm not the team captain anymore, guys.

I've decided to take a step back,

so you guys make the decisions, okay?

- Okay, sure, that's fine.

- My friend, Alice.

- Yeah, we've made up.

- I love her. -Oh, nice.

- You can read that.

- Wow. -You sure?

- Yeah, go on.

- That's so nice of you, thank you.

- Mandela-esque.

- Reenact the moment the other team--

- Met for their first team task.

- Most accurate reenactment wins.

- Paul may play the third team member.

- One of your team members must play Paul.

- You have 20 minutes.

Your time starts now.

- Do you know those guys well?

- I know Pax and Jackie.

- I know Jack from watching him struggle at my gym.

- They said they weren't going to show that part.

Sorry, Jack.

- Bree, please tell us, what's Jack like at the gym?

- I see him walking past me with the personal trainer.

- Yep.

- He does none of the heavy weights.

- Okay, Paul, let's see our teams meet

for the very first time, for the second time.

- First up, it's Bree and Alice,

as portrayed by the other team.

- Oh, I'm Breeanna.

Is that offensive?

- Oh, g'day guys. Oh my god. How the [beep] are you?

I'm now on the radio.

- Oh, we could all do that role.

- Yeah, so we can all nail that.

- Alice has moved to the UK.

Maybe she has picked up--

- Yeah, she's like, "Hello, governor, hello."

- I think we should quickly audition

for all three, I'm gonna start.

Okay, so you yell out a name,

I'm just gonna work on it and speak up.

- Okay, yell out a name.

Shaquille O'Neal!

- Quick, please, this is just a,

I thought this would be a quick little fun thing.

- Let's say a name together.

- Yeah. -Three, two, one.

- Shaquille O'Neal. -Shaquille O'Neal.

- Sorry, Jackie, we won't,

we'll give you an actual character in this show.

- I'm just trying to be helpful.

- Yeah. -I'm just trying to help.

- Okay. -So I say them?

- Yes, okay.

- This is Jackie Van Beek's audition for Shaquille O'Neal.

- No.

- Huh?

- No.

- Oh, okay.

- Let's go get some things to wear

and we'll come back down and we'll just,

yes and it, we'll just do it.

- Oh, g'day guys, g'day Paul, how's things, yeah?

- Hello, Bree.

- Paul, how's it going, how's it going?

Oh [beep] me, it's Sneddo.

Oh, mate!

- Hello, hello, hello.

- Hello, Alice.

Hello, hello, hello Paul. I've just come in from London

where I make television.

So, Alice has been over in the UK.

Yeah.

How long does it take someone to be over in the UK before they

develop a fully-fledged London accent?

Oh, she's toning it down right now.

Yeah, she's putting on a Kiwi accent right now.

Yeah. - Do your normal accent, go on.

"Um, hello, hello, hello.

It's-a me."

- Mario?

- Yeah, Mario.

Yeah, I'm not great at accents.

- Normally I would critique people's performances,

but seeing as they were playing you guys,

how would you critique their performances?

- Zero.

- I can't lie.

I think Jackie did a very good me,

and it was an honor and a career highlight

to have Jackie Van Beek betray me.

- And I would do it again.

- And I don't feel the same way.

- Who have we got left, Paul?

- Representing for all the Australians

and the Victorian era East London Cockneys,

it's Bree and Alice.

- I think we cast Paul as the part of Jack.

- I think so.

- I think you've got a Jackie energy.

- Regrettably, to follow up with the whole Mandela thing,

I will be playing the part of Pax.

- I wouldn't say this if it was any other contestant,

but please no makeup.

- I reckon Pax is in first, Jackie comes in.

- And Jack.

- I'd say he's quite like, reserved.

But then if the task is to be alpha.

- Oh, yeah.

- He's gonna have to overcompensate.

- Oh, I forgot, they all have to be alpha.

- I wonder if he'd walk in shirtless

with like a Rambo sort of tie on.

- Muscles drawn on, like a six pack.

- Well, that's not necessary with me.

- Jackie, we're gonna go get you a beautiful costume.

- Maybe like a Cruella de Vil type.

- Fur jacket. -That's nice, yeah.

- And Pax, I feel like would be playing alpha by being comfortable.

Is it possible to get a full meal here?

- Like a steak.

- Medium rare, please.

- Okay, we've got 13 and a half minutes.

- Okay, let's go. -Okay, great.

- Let's go.

- Hey, Paul.

- Hello, Pax.

- Thank you for preparing the dinner I asked for.

- Bon appetit.

- Hmm.

- Whoa!

- Oh, hi, Pax.

- Hey, man, how you doing?

- Hey, Paul.

- Hmm.

- Hello, Jack.

- Oh my God, hey, Jackie.

- Hello, Jackie.

- Pax, how you doing?

- Hi, Jackie.

- Hello, Jack.

- Paul.

- My name's Jack.

- Oh, you've not been... - She called me Paul.

You look like someone I know.

- Wow. -Wow.

- Bree, the alpha energy in your performance

there was palpable.

- And good opportunity to get the girls out on TV.

You know, I've been waiting for that moment.

I feel like I portrayed your girls in turn to a tee.

- Identical. -Thank you, yeah.

- I'd like to point out, I think Paul did a great job

of representing my girls as well.

- Yeah, agreed.

- I think some people did better impersonations than others.

- Okay.

- And so I thought maybe I would just score

each member of the team individually.

- One point for Alice's Pax.

'Cause eating a meal, I mean, that was...

- You should've done brown face.

Oh, come on, man.

- If I had had his go-ahead in advance,

I would've taken the creative risk.

- I'll go two points for Pax.

- What? -And your British accent.

- That's absolutely a travesty.

- I'll go three points for Bree,

and her performance as Jackie.

Four points for Jack. Your Paul was good.

- Happy with that.

- And I go five for Jackie's Bree.

I thought that was a very good Bree.

- Thank you, Jeremy.

And thank you, thank you, Bree.

- That's fair.

- Paul, how's our scoreboard looking?

- Alice is in last with five points,

and in first with a whopping 23 points,

it's Jackie Van Beek.

- Time to head up to the stage

for the final task of the show.

- Okay, Paul, who's reading the live task?

- Jackie Van Beek.

- Display as many emotions as you can in four seconds.

Most correct emotions guessed by the taskmaster wins.

You will be given 16 seconds to arrange your emotions

on the rack in front of you.

You must then perform your emotions in that order.

The taskmaster will review the footage in slow motion.

- So I'm gonna give you 16 seconds to arrange your tiles.

- Okay. -Are you ready?

- Yes. -Ready.

- Oh, Christ.

- Oh, big mistake.

- Hands away, Pax.

- I'm just putting mine on neatly.

- Yep. -Yep.

Oh, yep, okay.

- Okay, stop knocking them off, Jack.

- Yep, sorry.

- I can see what you're doing.

- Oh, shit, sorry.

- Oh my God, he's still going.

- It's just, again, he's very uncoordinated.

- Four seconds, are you ready? - Yep.

- I'll count to three and then I'll start.

- Oh God, I'm so nervous!

- One, I'll count down from three.

- Oh my God, Paul!

- Three, two, one, emote.

- No more, no more.

- All right everyone, come on down and let's judge it.

- So we're gonna now watch the emotions.

- And I'm gonna guess them as we go.

- Correct.

- Okay, start with Alice.

Anger.

Relief.

Fear.

Sickness.

Oh, you got a bunch of 'em.

- You got everything.

- Joy.

- You've got quite a few in there, Alice, wow.

- That last one was personal.

- So you got two.

- Two, Alice.

- Hmm.

- You don't seem very happy.

- Oh, I thought I'd be better.

- Up next, Bree.

- Excitement.

Sadness.

Oh, anger.

Relief.

Disbelief.

That's not one of the emotions.

- Wow.

- What is that?

I think the audience know.

So you did get three.

I'm happy with that.

Jack.

Oh, God.

I look ill.

Oh, pretty good.

Brilliant.

Disbelief.

No.

Sadness.

Disgust.

Oh, that went really long.

Fear.

No.

Oh my God.

That was fear.

It was surprise.

- Oh!

- It looked like fear.

- I'm worried that you're not familiar enough

with emotions to be...

- Yeah, this is on you.

- So you got sadness and disgust. - Okay.

- Up next, Jackie.

- An actor of some note.

- Jackie.

- This will be interesting.

- Sadness.

- Very good.

- Excitement.

Anger.

Fear.

[Jack] Surprise. - Surprise.

Oh, sorry.

Sorry, sorry. - Relief.

What are you locking in there for the last one?

I'm going to go with relief.

So you got sadness, anger, and fear.

Yeah, I think I'm useless at this game.

So, up next, Pax.

Anger.

I don't think it started yet.

Happiness.

Sadness.

Very nice, Pax.

Fear.

No, that was specifically how I felt

when Jack tried to be the leader.

Okay.

So we just give a point for each of those?

Is that the way to go, twos and threes?

So that means two points

for Alice and Jack and three points

for Bree, Jackie and Pax.

There we go. Good one.

So what does that mean

for the scores for episode two?

The winner of episode two with

with 26 points, Jackie van Beek.

- Here we go, congratulations, Jackie.

It's now your responsibility

to remove these five heavy things

from the studio tonight.

Off you go, go and grab them.

Congratulations.

- Grab some goon, Jackie. - Off you go, Jackie.

- Give her that goon.

- And thank you so much for joining us

for another episode of Taskmaster.

Tonight, we've learnt you're either born an alpha

or you've bribed someone with Lego.

And there's nothing more devastating

than looking for cake.

But most importantly,

we've learned that the winner of episode two is Jackie Van Beek.

Welcome to Taskmaster. - Yeah!

A show featuring five of New Zealand's best and brightest minds.

So long as you don't count proper, smart people like doctors.

That's bullshit!

There's highs!

And there's low lows!

Tough crack up, hey? It's, how crack up.