All language subtitles for S08E18 - Hey Harry, Crying out loud

I'm a little worried about Harry.

He hasn't been himself since Margaret...
Dumped him?

Well, I would have chosen a different
word.

Anyway, what happened? They were so
happy together, then all of a sudden

she's gone.

Well, I guess that's life.

Two ships passing in the night.

Well, I hope her ship gets torpedoed and
rots at the bottom of the sea.

Come on, Roz, we don't know what
happened.

Anyway, why is it so important to find
Blaine?

Because she hurt Harry.

Look at him. He's buttering his tie.

Hi, Harry.

Feeling any better?

Well, wounds of the heart take time to
heal.

I just want you to know I'm your friend,
and I'm here for you.

What a loser.

Guess who's playing in town this week?

Meals for me.

Hey, that's it. That would be just the
thing to snap Harry out of his doldrums.

Yeah. How about we all chip in and buy
him some good seeds?

Seeds? Why would he need seeds?

Oh, yes.

One for his coat.

Dan, just for once in your life, could
you show just a little compassion for a

person in pain?

You're right. I'm sorry.

I'm ashamed of myself.

Here's some jam for that tie.

Hey, hey.

I did call the nightclub, and I spoke to
Mel Torme himself.

Do you know what this means?

His career's on the skids, and he's
forced to work the switchboard?

No. I told him the whole story, and not
only will Harry have the best seats in

the house, but the tickets will be
delivered tonight by Mel Torme himself.

Here. I sure hope this makes Harry
happy.

I haven't seen him smile in weeks.

Well, I've taken care of that.

I rearranged the docket.

The first case is a Harry special.

Bull, you're on.

All rise.

Criminal court part two is now in
session.

The Honorable Harold T. Stone presiding.

You have no idea how sick I am of
hearing that.

I could try it with an accent, sir.

I do a mean Scottish burr.

All rise.

Call it, Mac. Oh, yes, sir.

Here we go.

People versus the chicken.

You're going to love this one, sir.

Prosecution? Yes, sir. Mr. The Chicken
was arrested on the West Side Highway

while illegally attempting to walk from
the northbound to the southbound lanes.

Leading police to ask the inevitable
question.

Which is?

Come on, sir, you know the question.

About Mr.

DeChicken.

What question?

Why did DeChicken cross the road?

To get himself a $500 fine for public
endangerment.

Take him away.

That wasn't the right answer, sir.

Well, that is my answer, Counselor. And
that's the way things are going to be

around here from now on. No more fooling
around.

This is a place of serious business.

Now, we'll take a five-minute recess
while the clerk rearranges the docket to

represent some semblance of order.

Lucky we didn't call the next case.

Oh, right. The Albanian cab driver.

People versus Nug Nug Who's Dare.

Stupid place.

Stupid job.

Okay, who turned out the lights?

Get out of here, Art. You know, I'm
trying to fix your couch. Get the hell

out.

Okay, fine.

But when you get a string up your butt,
don't come crying to me.

What am I doing here?

I'm not making any difference.

I never should have taken this job.

Because then I wouldn't have met you,
Margaret.

I wouldn't have a girlfriend in the
Federal Witness Relocation Program.

Or if I'd gone with you, I wouldn't be
stuck here.

Where I mean nothing.

Life would have been a lot better if I'd
never come here.

Hello, Harry.

Hi.

Mel?

Mel? Who's Mel?

Mel Torme.

Boy, I must really be depressed because
I'm not even excited to see you.

I look like Mel Torme?

This isn't funny, Mel.

Will you stop with the Mel? The name's
Herb.

Herb?

I'm your guardian angel.

My guardian angel.

Mel!

I don't know who put you up to this, but
I'm really not in the mood, pal. So why

don't you come back some other time?
This is the way you treat someone who

saved your life?

What? Remember when you were a kid,
trying to impress your friends, hanging

on the back of a crosstown bus?

And my fingers slipped.

I started to fall.

But something, someone, pushed you back
on.

You?

Ta-da!

If you're an angel named Herb, how come
you look like Mel Torme?

Well, maybe you want me to look like Mel
Torme. I personally would have chosen

Wayne Newton.

Do I have a guardian angel? Harry,
Harry, Harry, I've watched over you all

your life.

See?

You were such a cute baby.

There's me and my mom.

And there's my teddy bear, Jamboree. I
love Jamboree. I remember.

Listen, look, look, look.

There's you in the third grade, okay?

There's Boy Scout camp.

Oh, look, look, I took this one the
night of your senior prom.

I didn't go.

I know, you spent the evening with...
With Jamboree.

I gotta admit, this is very impressive.

It's a living.

Well, what are you doing here now?

Well, I heard you say that you wish
you'd never come here, that it didn't

matter. Oh, it doesn't.

I haven't made any difference here,
Herb. Oh, Harry, Harry, you're really

hurting, and you need my help.

Let's go for a walk.

Where are you going to take me?

Some magic land beyond the clouds or
something?

No, the hallway.

I want you to see what life would be
like around here without Harry Stone.

Wow, everything's in black and white.

This is how the world would have been if
I hadn't been around. No green grass or

blue sky, just shades of gray.

No, it's just a device I use to
illustrate my point.

You're an old movie fan, right?

You gotta ask? Right.

Come on inside.

Now, nobody in there can see us or hear
us.

The first reel is about to begin.

Well? Well, what?

Christine's still here and there's Matt.

Where did I make a difference?

Watch.

All rise.

Court is now in session.

The Honorable Daniel R.

Fielding presiding.

God, I love this.

Dan is the judge?

Well, you weren't on the list, so he got
your appointment.

He's been on the bench for about the
past eight years, and making the most of

it.

The deputy mayor's on his way, Chief.

Perfect. I hear that Dan Fielko plans
for the Central Park renovation.

Right, Chief. I want every one of his
political chips pulled in on this one.

Right, Chief. And one more thing.

Don't call me Chief.

Dan Fielko?

Well, that's a little real estate
development business that he runs on the

side. When he's not dispensing his brand
of justice.

Well, he can't be that bad a judge. I
mean...

Christine's still working here.

That's not the same Christine you knew.

I mean, all those high ideals and
dedication that she had early on, they

vanished. Fielding doesn't exactly treat
her with your brand of respect and

gentility.

Counselor? Yes, Your Honor.

Nice gown.

Thank you, Your Honor.

So how come Mac is sitting over here?

Well, he's the district attorney.

Well, that's good.

It means that if I hadn't been around,
Matt could have furthered his career.

That doesn't say much for me, Herb.
Okay, he's a lawyer, but he's divorced,

he's bitter, he's lonely.

He's got a chronic gastric condition.

He needed your friendship.

Miss Wagner, time to call the first
case.

Judge Fielding, wouldn't it be more
expedient if the files were kept over by

my desk?

More expedient, yes.

More fun, no.

Oh.

People versus Arnovitz.

Breaking and entering.

Prosecution. Yes, sir. Mr. Arnovitz here
was apprehended by the police breaking

Davis' wallpaper.

In his possession were burglar's tools
and $9,000 in company payroll checks.

Sounds bad, Arnovitz. Defense.

Geez, none, really.

I mean, it's just pretty open and shut.
My client asked for the mercy of the

court. Mercy? What possible reason would
I have to feel mercy, Mr. Arnovitz?

My contribution to the annual judge's
ball, perhaps?

Ah, and a very healthy contribution it
is, too.

In my judgment, this was just a
momentary lapse in an otherwise

outstanding citizen's exemplary life.

Oh, come on, sir. This man has 35 prior
arrests. Silence. I'm still judging.

Case dismissed.

No.

This isn't justice. This is an outrage.

This is Fielding's court.

Oh, I need some air.

I mean, if I wasn't around, the
cafeteria would be closed.

No, it's not closed. You just... Have to
know the password.

Password?

Not me.

It's Jack.

And he's not lying anymore.

That's true. But his taste buds don't
function. He has never enjoyed a meal.

Happened to the cafeteria.

Fielding turned it into a private club
for his friends.

Food and gambling and... What is that?

Cigars, cigarettes, confiscated
evidence.

Hey. Next unit.

Next unit, please.

The deputy mayor's outside. He wants to
come in, but he can't remember the

password. What a jerk.

Your Honor, come on in.

Yeah, that's close enough, sir.

Bull is the deputy mayor of New York?
Yeah, Fielding set it up. He needed a

stooge. But who would be stupid enough
to vote for Bull?

Oh, we ran a great campaign.

The slogan was, what I don't know won't
hurt you.

Okay, now these are the chief's plans.

You know what to do with them.

Dan Fieldco's renovation of Central
Park.

Hmm.

He wants to tear down the carousel and
put in a pair of mutual dog tracks?

Sure. There's big bucks in them
greyhounds.

Replace the petting zoo with a hunting
zoo?

Peep shows?

A mud wrestling stadium?

I'm not sure about this.

Just use your influence and push it
through the city council. And that's an

order.

Judge Fielding's sure this is going to
get me elected mayor, huh?

It's in the bag.

Well, gotta go.

Got some real serious city business to
take care of.

I'm cutting the cable on a new elevator.

You mean cut the ribbon.

Whew! Glad I ran into you.

A treat for the gentleman on table
three.

Man, this is getting scary.

Isn't that Roz going by?

Yeah.

And she's in handcuffs.

Miss Wagner, who's our next contestant
on if the price is right?

People versus Roz Rethel.

What's her scam?

Demonstrating without a permit.

What? There's no money in that.

Wow. I mean, if I hadn't been here, Roz
would have turned into a criminal.

Oh, don't get too full of yourself,
Harry. She's no criminal.

Get your hands off me. I didn't do
anything wrong.

I'll be the judge of that, what it's all
about.

Your Honor, my client merely led a
picket line in front of her landlord's

corporate offices.

Big deal.

It is a big deal.

I live in an apartment building filled
with good, hard-working people, people

who take pride in themselves and their
home.

So?

So, a year ago, our building was taken
over by a new management company who

tripled our rent, sold our fire escape
for scrap metal, and gassed all our

pets.

So?

So, I decided we'd had enough. It was
time to take action.

This morning, I led all the tenants down
to corporate headquarters.

All we wanted was to speak to the owner.

Yeah, well, what's the name of this
heartless landlord?

Dan Philco.

The people see no case here, sir. We
wish to drop the charges.

Are you insane, man?

This woman is a menace to society.

No, she's not. Let this be a lesson to
anyone who would stand in the way of

free enterprise. Ten years, hard labor.

Oh, no!

No, Christine!

Max, come on, somebody do something.
Don't let them take Ross to jail.

They can't hear you, Harry. You're not
here.

I've had enough of this. I don't want to
see anymore.

I want to go back.

Wait a minute.

This isn't my chambers.

Who are those people?

Well, that's Dan, his wife Diane, and
his son Damien.

Damien? As in? The Antichrist.

Come in, Counselor. You wanted to see
me? Your Honor, I've got something on my

mind. I want to say it, and I don't want
you to interrupt me.

Champagne? No, I don't want champagne. I
want to talk to you.

When I came here six years ago, I came
here with one purpose, and that was to

serve the people.

Bonbon. No.

But over time, I've allowed myself to be
dragged down to your level, and I just

can't take it anymore.

Good for you, Christine.

The Russell case just now proved to me
that all hope is lost.

So I give up. I resign.

But I'm going to do everything in my
power to make sure that you and your

corrupt organization are brought down.

Yeah, see that, Herb? There is a happy
ending. Christine wins and Dan loses.

You know, Miss Sullivan, I've always
admired your pluck.

I'm really going to miss you around
here. Oh, don't try that with me,

Buster. Yeah, don't try that with her,
Buster.

She's got to go.

I've always suspected that through that
bleeding heart of yours flowed the blood

of passion.

Well, I think you've heard enough.

You're leaving, remember?

And now that we're no longer colleagues,
I'm going to tell you a cold, hard fact

about yourself, Miss Sullivan.

Oh, what is that?

For the last six years, you've wanted
only me.

Ha! Don't make me laugh.

Ha! Don't make her laugh.

She's got to go. You find me amazingly
attractive.

I find you absolutely repulsive.

That's telling him. Now say goodbye.
Time to face the inevitable, Miss

Sullivan.

I hate you.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I
love you.

I knew it.

No, Christine, not you too.

No.

I've seen enough. I don't want to do
this anymore. I want to live in color.

I want to be the judge.

This is insane.

Don't holler. You're back already.

I am.

Look. Fresh tone.

And these crummy yellow walls. Oh, how I
miss you. Oh, and this Jack. Look, Jack,

and he's blind.

Isn't that great?

You may be. For me, it's not so hard.

Oh, my chambers.

My armadillo.

My nameplate.

Oh.

You. Well, did you learn your lesson?

I sure did.

I'm glad I'm here.

Life is good.

No matter what curves or bumps might be
in the path, I just gotta keep going.

Ah, that's my Harry.

Level with me, Herb. If I had never come
here, would all that stuff really have

happened?

Maybe, maybe not. But it worked, didn't
it?

Sure did.

I don't know how I can ever thank you.

Hmm. Well, just take this little word of
advice, okay?

Maestro.

Nothing's impossible I have found When
your chin is on the ground You pick

yourself up, dust yourself off Start all
over again Oh, don't lose your

confidence If you slip, be grateful for
the pleasant trip Pick yourself up, dust

yourself off Start again.

Work like a soul inspired till the
battle of the day is won.

You may be sick and tired, but you'll be
a man, my son.

Will you remember the famous men had to
fall to rise again? Take a deep breath.

Dust yourself off.

Take a deep breath.

Pick yourself up and start all over.

Start all over. Start all over.

Start all over again.

So long, kid.

Excuse me, Your Honor. Five minutes are
up.

We were wondering if you were going to
come back to the courtroom.

That I am.

I love my job.

And I love you guys.

Oh, really, I do.

I mean it.

Even you, Dan.

Oh, I'm shocked.

Harry's back.

And he's not crazy anymore.

Excuse me.

Judge Stone.

Herb!

Who's Herb? I'm Mel.

Sure you are.

Everybody. This is Herb. He's my
guardian angel. And he sings, too.