All language subtitles for S08E11 - Jail Bait

Matt? Yeah?

What are you doing?

I'm taking a picture.

I know that.

Why? Oh.

Well, you see, my photography teacher
says I gotta pick a theme for my photo

essay final, but I cannot decide on a
topic.

How about naked women cavorting in lime
jello?

It's not that kind of class, Dan.

Pity.

They want something artsy, something
with significance.

But I'm not sure I'm the artsy type.

Hey, Mac, you need any help? I'm
somewhat of a shutterbug myself.

I even got my own darkroom.

Jack, you develop film?

No, I just go in there to read.

Hey, Mac, I took a course on photography
a couple of years ago.

Maybe I could give you a few tips.

Okay.

Okay. Tip number one, always make sure
you have plenty of film.

Good, I see you got that covered.

Rough day?

Well, little Charlie's taken up a new
sport.

Food hurling.

When a spoonful of strained beets hit me
in the blouse, I didn't have time to

change. Ah, you can barely see it.
Unless you get really, really close.

I'm in no mood.

Are you ever?

Hey, you try working full time and
raising a child. There's no picnic, pal.

I'm sorry.

I was very insensitive.

All rise.

Criminal court part two is now in
session.

The Honorable Harold T. Stone presiding.

Good evening, fellow court designs. Let
the tribunal begin.

Don't move, sir. Now, don't move now.
I've almost got it in focus now.

Mac, what are you doing?

I finally picked my theme for my
photography class.

The study of a courtroom.

Ah, and you want the picture of a
hardworking, prudent judge.

No, just the gavel.

Unless you want an extreme close-up of
this gallery. Put the camera down.

Yes, sir. Call the first case.

All right.

First case, sir. People versus Ian
McKee.

Defacing public property.

Prosecutor? Yes, sir. Mr. McKee was
arrested in the act of painting replicas

of manhole covers on the streets of
Lower Manhattan.

What's the matter, Junior? Did you get
bored with your etch sketch?

Your Honor? Your Honor?

You see, we were trying to clear an
outage at Worcester in spring, you see,

but my men couldn't get access to the
lines because they were trying to pry

open his stupid paintings. Those
paintings were metaphors. Yeah, one

man's metaphor is another man's pain in
the butt.

Ouch. Didn't Socrates say that?

Yeah. Miss Sullivan, can you shine some
light on this?

Well, Your Honor, maybe my client did
paint the manhole covers as a metaphor

to express the New Yorker's common
desire to find an escape, whether it be

real or illusionary.

Maybe.

Archmart.

Archmart. Is that an expression or a
proper name?

Your Honor, I'm sure my client meant no
harm. Although his choice of medium was

questionable, it's really just a matter
of personal artistic expression.

Well, it's also a matter of defacing
public property. I'm sorry, Mr. McKee,

you're going to have to keep it on
canvas. That'll be time served and pay

the clerk 50 bucks.

Okay, Mac, that's a reload.

What's next?

It's on its way, sir.

Miss Sullivan, I'd like to thank you for
presenting my case with such

sensitivity.

Oh, well, it's my pleasure.

Usually the most artistic clients I get
are hookers with good makeup skills.

Yeah, I met one in booking.

She offered me 25 bucks to restore a
tattoo.

Well, I'm sorry I couldn't get the
charges dropped, but I guess you have to

suffer a little for your art, huh?

Exactly.

You know...

Not many people understand the desire to
fulfill your visions, to share with the

world that piece of yourself that was
once only yours.

It's very uplifting.

Sounds like raising a child.

You're a mother?

Yeah, and a target.

Your life must be very full.

Crusader of art and justice, mother,
wife?

Oh, no, actually, I'm a single mother,
and yes, my life is very full.

Sometimes a little too full.

Miss Sullivan?

Only an artist can blend the color and
texture of life to create a thing of

beauty. In your own way, you're an
artist.

You're also an inspiration.

Follow your passion.

Follow your passion.

My sentiments exactly.

Excuse me.

Haven't I seen you before?

Have you ever been to Burger Barn?

Yes, that charming little bistro around
the corner where you order through a

cow's mouth.

Uh-huh.

And on Tuesday night, I'm the voice of
the cow.

Oh, well, we'll have to get together
sometime and make butter.

Okay.

Where'd everybody go?

It's a five.

Well, it's really inconvenient.

Look, Tony, I'm really happy that you
want to spend tomorrow night with our

son. And I could really use the help,
but asking me to stop by, first clean

your apartment, set up the crib and
pre-cook dinner is not my idea of a

break.

Whoa, whoa. Hold that pose.

Perfect.

Oh, the way that I hit you. Oh, I can
feel it.

Can I get a copy for my mother? She's
convinced that I'm not eating well. Oh,

no problem. No problem.

Oh.

Oh, look.

Oh, my.

Oh,

Mac. Yeah. You are really into this. You
know, I don't think I've ever been so in

tune. With my artistic muse.

What if somebody's been breathing
developer fumes?

Christine, you got a visitor.

Looks like Picasso is pitching a
doubleheader tonight.

What's he doing up this late? I mean, it
is a school night.

Ian, what happened?

While I was leaving the building, I
spotted the statue of Lady Justice.

Strong, righteous, beautiful.

I thought of you.

Suddenly I wanted to paint her, color
her world, give her life.

I felt the same way about my Mrs. Potato
Head.

Ian, this is your second offense in 90
minutes.

I can't help it. You inspire me.

Uh, Bull, would you mind if we had a
little professional privacy?

Sure, Christine, but be careful.

He's a repeat offender.

He's liable to paint again.

Thank you. I'll watch him.

Ian, I'm really flattered that I inspire
you, but couldn't you just...

Doodle on the back of a napkin?

I follow my passion.

Well, it's leading you to jail.

I guess my fate is in the hands of my
arts and my defender.

Five minutes to session.

See you in court.

So, did Michelangelo ask you to climb
his scaffold?

Come on, Roz, get serious.

I am. Christine, I think your radar is
rusty.

That kid was giving off more heat waves
than a microwave potato.

Oh, okay, maybe he's a little infatuated
with the image of a professional.

He's infatuated with the image of you on
his futon.

I'm going to hold this over.

Mac, cut that out.

Oh, come on, sir.

I got you doing guilty, not guilty. At
least three rolls of $50 in time served,

but I don't have one of you holding
over.

What's the difference, man? Fake it.

The camera doesn't lie.

Call the next case.

Oh, sir.

Okay.

Hey, back for a third visit.

People versus McKee.

Again?

Yes, again.

What's the story, Mr.

Prosecutor? Well, sir, this time the
awful Dodger here is responsible for a

rather large mural on a warehouse across
the street.

Hey, don't let him intimidate you. He
doesn't understand artistic sensibility.

Your Honor, I'm sure my client has a
perfectly reasonable explanation.

Do you?

Your Honor, ever since I met Miss
Sullivan, I've had a sudden explosion of

creativity. I think this may be my best
work ever.

I call it the bare body of justice.

Any body we know?

Actually, it bears an uncanny
resemblance to Christine.

Mr. McKee, I hate to snip the fuse on
your creative explosion, but I don't

want to see you in this court again.

That's a hundred dollar fine in time,
sir.

And that's a wrap.

Oh, Bull.

Where exactly is the mural?

There's a great view from the hallway
window.

Thanks.

Gangway!

Miss Sullivan, we have to put a stop to
Crime Wave Ian. Now, you're his

lawyer. I want you to handle this. Talk
to him and impress upon him that

repeated misdemeanors can constitute a
felony.

Yeah, I'll talk to him, sir. Good.

Is that all, sir? That's it.

Look at the size of those water towers.

Makes you feel safe if there's ever a
fire.

Oh, we were just admiring the mural.

Some of us more than others.

Gotta admit, that kid's good.

I wonder if he can do that in wallet
size.

That's kind of abstract, but I think I
can make out the cleft in your chin.

I don't think that's my chin.

Oh, gee.

Well, come on. Let's call it a night,
guys. Come on. Come on. Come on. I'll

buy you a Zagnut. I think I've
discovered the source of the Nile.

So, what do you think?

How could you put me on display like
that?

You invaded my privacy.

You invaded my soul.

That painting exists because of you.

Well, I wish it existed with a blouse
on.

Jane, I'm very attracted to you, and I
think you feel the same about me.

No, no. What I feel is concern for your
future. I'm your lawyer. You're also a

woman.

Oh, no, no, no. This is not going to
happen.

Why not?

Well, in the first place, I don't do
things like that. And secondly, you're

24. And 10 months.

Well, I'm 24 and 130 months.

So? That doesn't matter.

Christine, you're so in control of your
life, of your work, of everything, and I

admire that.

But there comes a time when you have to
throw caution to the wind, abandon your

fears, go with the moment before it
passes you by.

I want to spend that moment with you.

I'll get my coat.

I just loaded the camera with a fresh
roll of film, and I thought I'd do a

study of your study. A study of my
study? Yeah. That's cute. I thought you

would do a study of these bail reports.
We are getting behind.

Oh, okay. I'll get right on it. Hey,
somebody watch that, okay? Yeah, I got

it. That age-old dilemma.

Art versus commerce.

Hi, Mac.

Hi.

Good evening, everyone.

All right, Miss D.

Well, aren't we the chipper one tonight?

Hey, what happened? Was there a
two-for-tail on Huggies?

Is there a law against being in a good
mood?

I'd say why look a gift mood swing in
the mouth.

I did notice that your young friend is
not on the docket tonight.

Oh, yeah, I handled it, sir. Good.

Hey, Christine, how come your car was in
the parking lot all night?

to do to get you was get arrested?

Oh, you like the bad boy thing, huh?
Well, I'm gonna go slap a cop.

Miss Sullivan, I will see you in my
office.

Ooh, you're gonna get it now.

But then again, you already did, didn't
you?

Gee, I'm sorry I brought it up.

I had no idea overnight parking was such
a no-no.

If it made you feel good, then you did
the right thing.

Thank you, Rod.

I mean, you're allowed to grab for the
gusto just the same as everybody else.

It's nobody's business but your own.
Absolutely right.

Still, if you want to tell me all the
juicy details, I'm all ears.

Danny. Oh, Pam, my little deep-fry
queen. What a surprise.

Look,

Danny.

I got some bad news.

What?

I just found out I've been transferred.

To another burger barn?

It's a new franchise in Staten Island.

Uh, I ship out at midnight.

I should have known.

Women in uniforms always break men's
hearts.

Oh, I'm gonna miss you.

I wish I could give you something to
remember me by. Oh, me too.

Well,

apparently I made a mistake here.

What are you talking about?

I mean, I forced an issue that became a
situation and ultimately developed into

a predicament.

I'm sorry, Harry. I didn't bring my
secret decoder ring.

Could you clarify that for me?

Christine, when I asked you to handle
your client, I didn't mean that you

should... handle your client.

Harry, thank you for worrying about me,
but I'll be okay.

I can take responsibility for my own
actions, thanks.

I'm concerned as a friend. This seems
impetuous.

Oh, how?

Well, you've got to admit you're acting
strangely.

Am I really? How am I acting?

Not like yourself.

This isn't the Christine that I know.

Well, I don't know who that Christine
is.

I've gone through a lot of changes here
in case you haven't noticed.

I'm not Christine the single girl. I'm
not Christine the married woman. I don't

know who I am. Maybe it would be better
if you were to support me instead of

judging me.

I'm not judging you. It's just... Come
on, the guy is 24.

You've got Beatle albums that are older
than he is.

Last night made me feel young and
spontaneous and sexy.

Things I haven't felt since the baby and
the breakup.

I deserve those things.

I appreciate your concern.

This is none of your business.

Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, give me a
minute.

I want you to eat your heart out. Oh,
God.

Put your legs behind your neck again.

No, wait. Okay, wait a minute. I just
have to set this automatic timer here.

There.

Court in two minutes, Dan.

Right away, Bull.

Well,

pretty good timing. I just ran out of
film anyway.

You'll send me copies?

Yeah. I'll probably use this as my
Christmas card this year.

Something wrong, Dan? No, nothing,
nothing, nothing.

A hundred dollars

in time, sir. And that's it, folks.

Cuckoo, ca-choo, Mrs. Robinson.

Thought maybe you'd like to go out
dancing. Got my bike out front.

Oh, yeah, with or without the training
wheels.

Do you mind?

Ian.

I, uh, I can't go out with you tonight.

No problem.

How about tomorrow? Some friends of mine
are doing a performance art thing on the

Lexington Ave subway.

They're dressing up like cattle to
symbolize the growth overcrowding in our

city.

Hey, I love subway art as much as the
next person. I can't go out with you

tomorrow night either.

Did I tell you last night was very?

Very? Oh, is that good?

Yes, very.

Oh, then you were very, very, very
myself.

Ian, last night you made me feel like a
new woman.

But today I gotta go back to being an
old woman. I'm not old, but...

Older, you know, the more conventional
me, the one with responsibilities.

You didn't have a good time?

No, I liked it.

Even when we went to that underground
club and we saw that aluminum band.

That's heavy metal.

Right.

So what's the problem?

Ian, last night you convinced me that I
should go with the moment, and I did,

and that's exactly what I needed to do.
So let's go for the next moment. I don't

think so.

It's about our age difference, isn't it?

No, um, it's more about the difference
in the amount of life we've lived.

Christine, age doesn't matter.

What matters is passion.

You have to go with it. You can do that,
Ian. I can't. As much as I love letting

go and feeling carefree, I couldn't do
that all the time.

That's okay. I like my life.

I just don't think it's right for you.

I guess you're right.

Ian. You're very special.

You gave me back a part of myself I
thought I'd lost.

Believe me, nothing's lost.

All your parts are there.

So if I have a show sometime, maybe
you'll come see it?

Yeah, I'd like that.

As long as my parts aren't in it.

You've got a little pain on your neck.

I'll get it.

Christine, don't ever lose the passion.

Hey.

I'm sorry about earlier.

I was out of line.

Oh, no, I shouldn't have gotten so
defensive.

I just wanted to take care of things
myself.

Yeah.

So you okay?

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's over now, but it's
kind of nice being somebody's

inspiration for a while.

You inspire us all the time. We just
forget to tell you.

Thank you, Harry.

So did he take it okay? I mean, he
didn't cut off his ear or anything, did

he?

No, actually, he handled it very
maturely.

How about you?

Me?

Um... Very.

Jack, my picture's come back.

Oh, yeah, they're right here.

Hey, I hope you don't mind I took a
peek.

I love the satin finish.

Anyway, these are the pictures I took.

A gavel, a stapler, a jury box, an
eraser.

What happened to my pictures?

You looking for these, Dan?

Oh, Mac,

listen, I can explain these.

Well, maybe not this one.

Oh, listen, Mac. I borrowed the camera
for just an itsy-bitsy moment.

I guess I got the rolls of film mixed
up.

Boy, is life funny or what?

Dan, that film was my final project for
my photography class.

Fine, it's fine. Look, they're here. All
nice, developed. There's one of Harry's

nose.

It's too late, Dan.

Part of the assignment was to develop
the film in class with the teacher

standing there, and this is what he saw.

You gotta admit, nice depth of field.

That's what my teacher said.

He also said it was filled with
disturbing, perverse imagery, with

shadings of dehumanizing, amoral
sensibility.

Mac, I'm sorry. Oh, don't be.

You gave me an A.