Original subtitles

There we go!

Over here!

Are you ready? - Ready!

Hey, come on!

Stop sending the ball this way.

There we go!

Look over there.

In the middle of the day.

She hangs around here, too?

Hey, Chimney!

Can you get the ball for us?

Let me play with you guys.

What?

Heads up, Chimney!

Get the ball from her!

Go!

I can't focus. - I can't focus.

You okay, Chimney?

Puke cat.

I can't move.

It's only been two minutes.

So this is aging.

It's definitely the cigarettes.

Should we call an ambulance?

Hold on, I'll be able to recover once I smoke.

Excuse me.

We received a report of a suspicious person chasing children.

You need to be more careful.

You think it's okay, just because this is Nyagamihara?

You can't smoke in the park! - How awful.

And right after I just warned you. - Honestly.

It stinks!

What the actual hell?

It smells so bad.

It's like a mix of coffee, cigarettes, and old feet!

It smells like human malice and bitterness!

Yes, this is

Jakusobubura!

JAKUSOBUBURA

Yani Neko! We gotta evacuate!

More stink will rain down on us if we don't get out of here!

This is bad. Like, seriously bad for you.

There are over 70 carcinogens in cigarettes.

Not to mention the secondhand smoke affecting non-smokers like me.

You get what I'm saying, Yani Neko?

You double your risk of having a stroke,

and it deteriorates your vessels.

Recent research shows

something about it causing heart failure or something.

YANI NEKO'S TEMPER

Hey!

So, I wanted to tell you

a friend of mine started a local smoking cessation workshop.

I brought you a pamphlet today.

Let's see here.

Damn it, I can't see.

Where is it? What is this? Gross!

Is this it?

NYACOTINE PATCH

No, that's not it.

You've got a face on the back of your head too!

Now you're part of the nicotine addicts club, too!

DO NOT USE ON HUMANS. IT MAY CAUSE DEATH.

Sorry, can you wait until my face heals? What is it?

What the hell did you stick on my head, you dumb cat?

Wait, I'm feeling…

Is this guilt?

I mean, this terribly-mannered cat is completely at fault.

But maybe I'm being too condescending.

USE APPROPRIATELY

I'm always using my righteousness to make myself feel better.

Yani Neko, sorry, I went too far.

What?

What are you doing?

That's the stuff.

Chainsmoker Cat!

Okay.

At least be done after just one!

Do you understand your situation?

Yes, sir.

You asked me for more time to pay rent, that you'd do anything,

so I'm letting you weed the yard!

Yes, sir.

But you already took a cigarette break after just five minutes.

And then you have the gall to start smoking a second one!

Yes, sir.

Stop meowing when you answer!

Yes, sir.

I'm confiscating this, you idiot!

That's theft!

In that case, you're guilty of not paying your rent and littering cigarette butts!

You can have this back when you're done!

I guess I'll give her tea and snacks after she finishes up.

What the hell are you eating?

Horsetails, since I'm hungry.

Do you want some, too?

No!

Don't eat too much, or you'll get a stomachache.

You done, Yani Neko?

I brought you snacks.

Wait, is she smoking?

And what's with her belly?

What happened to my cabbage patch?

Are those snacks? Thanks!

But I'm actually full right now, so I'll just take them home.

My eyes! My eyes!

Chainsmoker Cat.

Damn that Chimney!

She's seriously good for nothing!

Damn it, just thinking about it is pissing me off!

Pissing me…

Pissing…

Wallpaper damage can become a financial burden when you move out.

Renters should be especially careful

about discoloring the wallpaper with cigarette smoke.

Discoloration from smoking is considered…

The wallpaper in my room is cream-colored.

I'm sure it was always this color since I air it out once in a while.

It's definitely not from tar.

Actually, that poster's been here since before I moved in.

SEALED

You think this apartment building is haunted?

What are you talking about?

Don't lie to me!

There were strange talismans on the wall!

I also heard ominous rapping!

You need to tell me the truth!

Shut up!

I don't know what you're talking about!

Okay, that was sus.

That was close.

Hug me tighter, awooh!

Hey, Yaniko.

Yeah, Kansai?

Didn't you tell your sister you were going to quit smoking?

You're still smoking?

I'm going to quit for sure this time.

I won't smoke anymore, starting today.

That's the spirit.

Yani-chan made a joke, and that's rare.

I gotta make sure to follow up and make it funny.

Hold up, you went right back to it so fast!

You're like a dad on his anniversary!

Do you not have a dad?

I do.

Okay, not bad, Yani-chan.

But us cats from the west take pride in our humor.

I'm not giving up without getting a laugh.

What?

Why do you have a nose hook?

I found it inside this magazine I borrowed from the landlord.

What in the world was this doing in that?

How do you use it?

You hook it on your nose.

Then you blow.

I'd love to see you use it.

What? Why? That's way too embarrassing.

We're not close enough for me to show you a funny face!

But I'm curious.

Curious? But that's…

What?

What kind of crazy request are you making to a young maiden, you Chimney?

But if I put this on,

she'll surely crack up!

Okay, fine.

I guess I have no choice.

Say something!

You damn Chimney.

If that's how you're going to be, I'll have to pull out all the stops.

What's up with those cigarettes?

I splurged and bought some pricy smokes.

You can't have any.

I wasn't going to take any. That's not what I meant.

They're like that thing that solidifies from microorganisms in milk?

Wait, that's cheese!

You can tell from cigarette sales

the ratio of beastfolk residents by region.

By further leveraging animal instincts, selecting which brands to stock--

Wait, that's needs!

Boss, we're out of those things.

Is the hardware store open now?

You know, those long, twisty things.

Wait, those are screws.

The suspect is currently fleeing towards Kariba in a Frankenstein car.

Emergency vehicle coming through. Please clear the way.

Wait, that's a chase.

Wait, that's Twin Peaks!

How about an ahegao double peace sign then?

Would you laugh, please?!

Sorry, I'm sorry!

Chainsmoker Cat.

Coming in.

Yani-chan.

You sure come around a lot. Do you like me or something?

Well, I get to drink free booze here,

and you don't complain if I smoke.

Yeah? I mean, it's totally fine.

Could you make me a drink?

No way, I'm too lazy.

I brought some smoked cheese.

Okay, fine.

Thanks.

SUPER SIMPLE WHISKEY AND WATER RECIPE

Fill up a medium-sized mug with any old whiskey until it's half full.

Then add some sugar syrup as much as you like.

A couple of squirts of lemon juice.

Then a bunch of tap water, and it's all done.

FINISHED!

How is it?

It's so-so!

You're a harsh critic.

But I don't want it to go to waste, so I'll finish it anyway.

How environmentally conscientious.

Okay, I'm starting to feel funny.

To me, the taste of alcohol is like a bonus.

Just the runway leading to bliss.

I think I'm going to lie down for a little bit.

Maybe it's about time I let happiness embrace me, too.

DEMON LIGHT

Aruko! I need some booze!

I went out for drinks, but it sucked.

There was an opening for a joke,

so when I made one, they called me desperate for laughs.

It was totally not the timing for a roast there!

I can't believe how lame they were going for the easy laugh.

It was so boring,

I thought I was close to death.

But not as close to death as you!

RECOVERY POSITION

You're so desperate for laughs.

Chainsmoker Cat!

Greetings, residents of Nyagamihara.

This is a public broadcast.

The air is very dry today.

Please be mindful of fires.

You should especially make sure to put out your cigarette before discarding.

You have such a beautiful voice.

It sounds put on.

Hey, thanks again for helping.

Apparently, the person who usually does this

threw their back out "exercising."

Exercising?

Probably ran too much.

What an idiot.

Yaniko! Don't fart in enclosed spaces!

Yakuko, open all the windows!

Okay!

If we broadcast the fart sound through the mic, that'd be hilarious.

Yaniko, point your butt at me!

Lift it up more!

Now, blast out another big one!

Let your fart echo throughout the neighborhood!

It's gonna be hilarious.

I don't have any left in me.

I'll buy you smokes if you rip a good one.

You actually farted! That was so loud!

I think that reached the whole city!

Keep ripping more! I'll buy you a pack for each one you rip!

Okay, that's enough! My stomach hurts from laughing!

Wait, that was more than a fart!

I can't do this anymore!

Stop, you're letting out too much!

What now?

I'm stuck.

Could you push me through?

How did this even happen?

How is your butt so soft?

I can't get a good hold. Firm your butt up!

I don't think I'm making any progress.

Is it just me, or does this feel kind of sexual?

Just bring me some smokes every now and then.

What are you giving up for?

All you're doing is tightening your butt! You want me to spank you?

Who are these guys?

You've got to be kidding me!

Subtitle translation by: Zensho Yamamoto

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION.

UNDERAGE SMOKING AND DRINKING IS PROHIBITED. DO NOT IMITATE.