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1
00:00:09,067 --> 00:00:10,400
- Adam, you are pushing
2
00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:12,033
when I need you to pull, okay?
3
00:00:12,133 --> 00:00:13,567
- Stay in the slot,
baby.
4
00:00:13,667 --> 00:00:15,133
- It's a delicate dance.
It's a tango, okay?
5
00:00:15,233 --> 00:00:17,233
I'm the man.
I lead you, sweetheart.
6
00:00:17,333 --> 00:00:18,867
- No, sweetheart.
7
00:00:18,967 --> 00:00:21,567
In fact, I came up
with a cool name for our team:
8
00:00:21,667 --> 00:00:23,333
The Woodsmen, right?
9
00:00:23,433 --> 00:00:25,000
That's, like, a badass name,
10
00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:27,367
and I thought of it 'cause
I'm the leader.
11
00:00:27,467 --> 00:00:28,867
- You want to name us
The Woodsmen,
12
00:00:28,967 --> 00:00:31,300
after a Kevin Bacon movie
about a pedophile.
13
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:32,900
- You didn't actually
let me finish.
14
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,467
- No, we are the Timberlakes,
15
00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:36,300
and we're bringing sexy
to the timber sports.
16
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:37,300
End of story.
17
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:38,867
Now, you push; I pull.
18
00:00:38,967 --> 00:00:42,000
- No, I push,
and you pull on my count.
19
00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:43,733
- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
20
00:00:43,833 --> 00:00:45,367
- This isn't--
you're not helping!
21
00:00:45,467 --> 00:00:46,567
- Stop fighting!
22
00:00:46,667 --> 00:00:48,367
Flip a coin.
Or you know what?
23
00:00:48,467 --> 00:00:50,400
Better yet, why doesn't one
of you take the high road
24
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:51,833
and let the other call
the shots?
25
00:00:51,933 --> 00:00:52,900
Be the bigger man.
26
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,400
- I'm the baller shot caller.
27
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:56,133
I've got 20-inch blades
on my Impala, okay?
28
00:00:56,233 --> 00:00:58,967
This--this is why
you're not even on the team.
29
00:00:59,067 --> 00:01:00,700
- You're not on our team,
you bitch.
30
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:01,767
- Oh, this is why.
31
00:01:01,867 --> 00:01:03,467
See, 'cause I was wondering why,
32
00:01:03,567 --> 00:01:04,767
'cause it really hurt
my feelings no one asked me,
33
00:01:04,867 --> 00:01:06,233
especially since I'm the one
34
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:07,900
who knew about the tournament
in Big Bear.
35
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:10,467
I love timber sports.
You know that about me.
36
00:01:10,567 --> 00:01:12,367
- Yes,
you're a timber sports fan,
37
00:01:12,467 --> 00:01:15,767
but we are timber sports,
38
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,300
and that's the difference
between us.
39
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,133
You can start at the penis
or just scream,
40
00:01:19,233 --> 00:01:21,500
"I don't give a [bleep] and see
who means this," so scream it.
41
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:22,533
- What?
- [bleep].
42
00:01:22,633 --> 00:01:23,933
- [bleep].
43
00:01:24,067 --> 00:01:26,167
- [bleep], [bleep], [bleep].
- [bleep].
44
00:01:26,267 --> 00:01:27,833
- We gonna [bleep]
all the [bleep]. We just do it.
45
00:01:27,933 --> 00:01:29,467
- I don't give a [bleep].
46
00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:31,100
- Part of our nature,
because we're alpha dogs.
47
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:32,767
We bark [bleep] all the time.
48
00:01:32,867 --> 00:01:34,633
You're beta bitch boy.
49
00:01:34,733 --> 00:01:36,067
- Fine, you want me to?
50
00:01:37,733 --> 00:01:39,433
- You didn't even say it.
- Yes, I did. [bleep].
51
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,467
- Now, on my count, let's saw!
- Okay.
52
00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:44,167
That is my count, though,
since nobody's counting.
53
00:01:44,267 --> 00:01:46,333
- Sound off!
- Alpha dogs, baby!
54
00:01:46,433 --> 00:01:48,500
both: Ooh-rah!
55
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,367
Anders: Oh, oh!
56
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,267
- Oh, no, the Volvo!
57
00:01:55,367 --> 00:01:56,833
Oh, are you guys okay?
58
00:01:56,933 --> 00:01:59,133
- Stop the watch?
- Yeah, what was the time?
59
00:01:59,233 --> 00:02:01,500
- No, hey.
- He's good.
60
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,267
- Uh, yeah--
uh, really fast.
61
00:02:04,367 --> 00:02:05,567
- He--he didn't
push the button.
62
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:06,767
- Yes, I did.
63
00:02:06,867 --> 00:02:09,833
[The Skinny Boys' "Jock Box"]
64
00:02:09,933 --> 00:02:10,833
*
65
00:02:10,933 --> 00:02:13,333
- * I'm fresh
66
00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:15,600
* You gotta, you gotta,
you gotta *
67
00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:17,200
* Gotta be fresh
68
00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:21,300
- Hey, Bill, thanks
for driving us home, bud.
69
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:25,167
I mean, nothing really rides
like a Toyota Corolla.
70
00:02:25,267 --> 00:02:27,767
- Shotgun!
- Shotgun, and that was a tie.
71
00:02:27,867 --> 00:02:29,100
- License plate.
- License plate.
72
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:32,067
- Oh!
And I even walked in slow-mo.
73
00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:33,500
- It's all right, bud.
74
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,333
- Oh, yeah,
that's a tight squeeze.
75
00:02:35,433 --> 00:02:37,267
Squeeze them in.
- Shotgun.
76
00:02:37,367 --> 00:02:39,933
- All right, boys,
I MapQuested the best route,
77
00:02:40,067 --> 00:02:42,733
and I made us a little mix tape.
78
00:02:42,833 --> 00:02:44,467
- Oh, all right,
Bill's mix tape.
79
00:02:44,567 --> 00:02:46,967
That's cool, but after you,
pass me the ox, dude.
80
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:49,300
I'm gonna get this place
fricking on fire, dude.
81
00:02:50,767 --> 00:02:51,967
[jazzy band music playing]
82
00:02:52,067 --> 00:02:53,667
- Wow.
- Mm-hmm.
83
00:02:53,767 --> 00:02:55,633
- That's bad.
- Yeah, it's really, really bad.
84
00:02:55,733 --> 00:02:56,933
- Just way out of date.
85
00:02:57,067 --> 00:02:58,900
- This is way, way
Less than Jake.
86
00:02:59,067 --> 00:03:01,067
- Terrible.
Really, really bad fish.
87
00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:03,133
- I like that one.
- Thank you.
88
00:03:03,233 --> 00:03:06,067
- That's my band.
Here's my solo.
89
00:03:06,133 --> 00:03:08,333
- You know, I'm just going
to turn it off for a second.
90
00:03:08,433 --> 00:03:09,867
both: Thank you.
91
00:03:09,967 --> 00:03:11,600
- Bill, is it cool
if I get this Gatorade?
92
00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:14,600
- That's not Gatorade...
anymore.
93
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:15,600
- Oh.
94
00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:17,400
Jesus Christ, Bill.
95
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:19,100
Guys, we have got
to get the $3,000
96
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,567
and get the Vo fixed,
okay?
97
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:21,700
This is a nightmare.
- I don't like it.
98
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,900
I'm, like, way too big to be--
99
00:03:24,067 --> 00:03:25,533
I'm too big to be back here.
100
00:03:25,633 --> 00:03:27,600
- You know, I play poker
at this underground card game
101
00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:28,600
where Diane deals.
102
00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:30,900
Won 200 bones last week.
103
00:03:31,067 --> 00:03:33,767
- 200 bones.
200 bones.
104
00:03:33,867 --> 00:03:36,067
All right, boys, alpha Ders
is gonna step up, hit the table,
105
00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:37,600
probably play till dawn,
106
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:39,200
but I'm gonna get our money back
no doubt.
107
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:40,933
- Well, as an alpha dog myself,
108
00:03:41,067 --> 00:03:43,400
I'd probably get all
of our moolah back by sunrise,
109
00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:44,800
so I'm gonna play as well.
110
00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:46,400
- Oh, you're playing too?
111
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:47,400
This is cool.
It's like family game night.
112
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:48,767
That is great, yeah.
113
00:03:48,867 --> 00:03:50,700
No, I'd like to play too.
- Okay.
114
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,433
- Cash only, gents.
115
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,267
No cell phones.
Adam: Okay, cool.
116
00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:56,533
Anders: This isn't cash.
117
00:03:56,633 --> 00:03:58,267
[muted conversation]
118
00:03:58,367 --> 00:04:00,967
- Is it already my turn?
119
00:04:01,067 --> 00:04:02,367
Yeah, no, nope.
120
00:04:02,467 --> 00:04:04,200
I just--nah.
121
00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:06,067
- What are you doing?
- Nah, I just--I fold.
122
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:08,333
- You don't have to fold, dude.
Just say "check."
123
00:04:08,433 --> 00:04:10,067
- No, I don't--
124
00:04:10,133 --> 00:04:11,700
and it's cash only,
so I'm out, actually.
125
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,833
This just--no,
it's too stressful.
126
00:04:13,933 --> 00:04:16,500
Frank, sorry, I'm out, okay?
You guys.
127
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,933
- Okay.
128
00:04:19,067 --> 00:04:20,600
- I check.
129
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:22,600
- Okay.
Um...
130
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:23,933
[gasps]
131
00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:25,500
[laughs]
132
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,500
Man, sometimes you just
don't get a good hand,
133
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,067
but you got to just--
134
00:04:31,133 --> 00:04:33,667
I guess I'll play.
135
00:04:33,767 --> 00:04:35,333
Nope, you're gonna want to--
136
00:04:35,433 --> 00:04:36,433
you're gonna--okay.
137
00:04:36,533 --> 00:04:37,600
- I fold too.
138
00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:40,100
- Yes! Boom.
139
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,700
I'll take your chips.
I'll take your chips.
140
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:45,300
Watch out;
we got a shark in the waters.
141
00:04:50,067 --> 00:04:51,533
- Frank, what's up, dude?
142
00:04:51,633 --> 00:04:53,533
I'm just wondering
if there's anything fun
143
00:04:53,633 --> 00:04:55,700
to do here, some entertainment.
144
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,567
Maybe some magic show,
Siegfried and Roy,
145
00:04:58,667 --> 00:04:59,900
Criss Angel.
146
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:03,100
Mindfreak me, will ya?
147
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,167
- I guess you could watch
the rats [bleep] out back.
148
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:10,067
- Okay.
149
00:05:10,133 --> 00:05:13,333
Yeah, definitely, definitely.
150
00:05:13,433 --> 00:05:15,367
[television playing
in background]
151
00:05:23,067 --> 00:05:25,867
- Yes!
What a hand.
152
00:05:25,967 --> 00:05:28,867
I'm going all in, punks.
153
00:05:28,967 --> 00:05:30,967
- Hey, you seem nervous, dude.
154
00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:32,133
Why you so nervous?
155
00:05:32,233 --> 00:05:33,567
- Yeah, why you so nervous?
156
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,067
- I'm not nervous.
- Why you nervous?
157
00:05:35,167 --> 00:05:37,133
- Just gamble--take the bet
or don't.
158
00:05:37,233 --> 00:05:41,233
I suggest that you don't,
'cause that's a good hand.
159
00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:43,967
- Mm, all you can eat, baby,
Hometown Buffet.
160
00:05:44,067 --> 00:05:45,667
- I love Hometown Buffet.
- Me too.
161
00:05:45,767 --> 00:05:49,333
- So here--okay,
all in for me too.
162
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:52,500
I have literally nothing.
163
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,067
- That's what I thought.
164
00:05:54,133 --> 00:05:56,067
- Okay, here.
You're missing these chips.
165
00:05:56,133 --> 00:05:57,967
Don't forget these.
166
00:05:58,067 --> 00:06:01,900
Hey, do we--can we still get
drinks if we're out of moneys?
167
00:06:02,067 --> 00:06:05,233
- So got no ride,
and now we've got no money.
168
00:06:05,333 --> 00:06:07,633
- And we would've starved
to death if Rancho Cuca Pizza
169
00:06:07,733 --> 00:06:09,867
wouldn't have hooked us up
with this irregular pizza
170
00:06:09,967 --> 00:06:11,300
they were about to throw out.
171
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:12,667
- Well, you know what they say:
172
00:06:12,767 --> 00:06:14,200
the house always wins.
173
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:15,800
- Except for we didn't lose
to the house.
174
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:17,933
We lost to that cool-looking
Asian dude.
175
00:06:18,067 --> 00:06:20,367
- Well, that's cool--
sunglasses inside?
176
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:21,433
That's, like, a good look.
177
00:06:21,533 --> 00:06:22,533
- That's the look.
178
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:24,100
- What did you just say?
179
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,867
- I said--we were talking
about the Asian guy,
180
00:06:25,967 --> 00:06:27,300
and I'm like,
"Sunglasses inside--
181
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,967
that's the look."
182
00:06:29,067 --> 00:06:30,600
And then Ders is like,
"That's the look."
183
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:31,967
- No, before that.
184
00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:33,133
- I don't know. I farted.
185
00:06:33,233 --> 00:06:34,467
- No, you said,
the house always--
186
00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:35,767
- He did fart.
He did fart.
187
00:06:35,867 --> 00:06:37,667
- Oh, the house always wins.
- Yes.
188
00:06:37,767 --> 00:06:41,200
- Our house could always be
winning if we were the casino.
189
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:42,867
- Oh, okay.
- That's not a bad idea.
190
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:45,133
Oh, dude, yeah, we could have
a way better casino
191
00:06:45,233 --> 00:06:46,133
than that warehouse dude.
192
00:06:46,233 --> 00:06:47,700
- Totally.
193
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,200
- I mean, this is a card table.
194
00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:50,500
- I mean,
we're at a card table right now.
195
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:51,700
We already have a card table.
196
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,167
- Check.
- Got that.
197
00:06:53,267 --> 00:06:55,067
- Anders?
Anders: What's up?
198
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:56,533
- I love that idea.
199
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,267
- Give it here!
- Yes!
200
00:06:58,367 --> 00:07:00,067
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
201
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:01,933
man: * Goin' to the casino
202
00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:03,700
- Hey, hey, hey, it's Ray.
203
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,367
There you go.
Welcome to my casino.
204
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,833
Remember,
what happens here stays here.
205
00:07:07,933 --> 00:07:09,400
Big Gil dog.
206
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:12,067
Snap into a Slim Jim
compliments of the house.
207
00:07:12,167 --> 00:07:14,667
Deedee, killer blouse.
208
00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:18,267
Anders: Welcome to my casino.
209
00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:20,100
I'll be watching you.
210
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,300
*
211
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,167
I'll be watching all of you.
212
00:07:33,633 --> 00:07:35,067
- Yeah, Deedee.
213
00:07:35,167 --> 00:07:36,500
[slurps]
214
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,733
Yeah, sip that drink.
215
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,700
Oh, well, hello, hello.
216
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,433
Who are you?
217
00:07:42,533 --> 00:07:44,600
You're a sexy mommy
out on the town, aren't you?
218
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:46,900
You told the sitter
you'd be back by 9:00,
219
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:49,133
9:30 at the latest,
220
00:07:49,233 --> 00:07:51,567
but tonight
you're gonna be a little late,
221
00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:54,233
because Mommy has got
to have fun too.
222
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,633
Yeah,
I think I'm gonna beat off.
223
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:04,167
- Excuse me, young lady,
224
00:08:04,267 --> 00:08:07,100
but you have to be 21
or older to play here.
225
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,433
- Do you need to see my ID?
226
00:08:09,533 --> 00:08:11,333
- Yeah, that'll work.
227
00:08:11,433 --> 00:08:13,967
- Okay, Mama's a whale.
228
00:08:14,067 --> 00:08:15,333
Adam, this is your boss.
229
00:08:15,433 --> 00:08:16,867
Please get to the back
of the house.
230
00:08:16,967 --> 00:08:18,500
You are my bitch.
I am your employer.
231
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:19,967
Get to the back
of the house pronto.
232
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,433
Thank you, bye.
233
00:08:21,533 --> 00:08:23,333
- One momento.
234
00:08:25,433 --> 00:08:26,800
- Diane, what are you doing?
235
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:28,100
It's like you've never dealt
before.
236
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:29,633
- * What do you want?
237
00:08:29,733 --> 00:08:31,167
- She's a whale.
- No, she's not.
238
00:08:31,267 --> 00:08:32,933
She's in great shape.
- She is in great shape.
239
00:08:33,067 --> 00:08:34,633
What I'm saying
is that she's loaded, okay?
240
00:08:34,733 --> 00:08:37,800
She's got cash,
and if we string her along,
241
00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:40,067
we can pay for the Vo and go
to the timber sports games.
242
00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:42,700
- Yeah, these are things that
I know, because I'm in charge.
243
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,067
- No, no, no, you're an idiot,
and I'm in charge.
244
00:08:45,167 --> 00:08:46,767
- Of what, cranking down?
245
00:08:46,867 --> 00:08:49,267
'Cause that lotion
is not where I left it last.
246
00:08:49,367 --> 00:08:51,200
- Are you using my lotion?
247
00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:53,467
- Only when I'm in your room,
jerking off on your computer.
248
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:56,933
- Absolutely do not ever
jerk off on my computer.
249
00:08:57,067 --> 00:08:59,067
- Fine, okay, I won't,
250
00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:01,500
but because I choose not to
from now on.
251
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:02,967
- You know what?
Just get out, okay?
252
00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:05,067
I've got actual
in-charge-type work to do.
253
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,067
- Work, like what?
254
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:07,967
Work on your [bleep]?
255
00:09:08,067 --> 00:09:09,700
Ugh!
256
00:09:13,067 --> 00:09:15,100
- Damn it,
I didn't take my pants off.
257
00:09:16,833 --> 00:09:18,933
- All right, packed house.
258
00:09:19,067 --> 00:09:22,433
So the key to a successful
magic trick is distraction.
259
00:09:22,533 --> 00:09:23,567
That's where you come in.
260
00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:25,467
As my assistant,
261
00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:30,467
you need to be something that
the audience looks at while I--
262
00:09:30,567 --> 00:09:32,667
look up there--
perform my illusion, see?
263
00:09:32,767 --> 00:09:35,900
- Okay, cool, so I'm like
eye candy and all that.
264
00:09:36,067 --> 00:09:38,400
Is there anything that you want
me to do, like, specifically?
265
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:40,700
- You know,
just do what feels right.
266
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,500
You'll know when to do
the distraction, okay?
267
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:43,967
- Okay.
268
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:47,467
- But when it's time,
you distract.
269
00:09:47,567 --> 00:09:48,733
- Oh!
270
00:09:48,833 --> 00:09:49,933
You got it, man.
271
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,100
I'll be a distraction.
272
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,500
- Hello, and...
welcome!
273
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,767
I am the resident magician,
Magic Blake,
274
00:09:58,867 --> 00:10:02,267
and this is my beautiful
assistant, Magic Carl.
275
00:10:02,367 --> 00:10:05,333
We start off with a card trick.
276
00:10:05,433 --> 00:10:07,600
You, sir, what's your name?
277
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,433
Let me guess, Waymond.
278
00:10:09,533 --> 00:10:13,233
How'd I know? Go ahead
and pick a card, Waymond.
279
00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:14,800
Okay, what is the card?
280
00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:16,333
Don't tell me.
281
00:10:16,433 --> 00:10:18,100
Actually, don't you ever
tell me, all right?
282
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,833
Put it back in the deck,
anywhere in the deck.
283
00:10:20,933 --> 00:10:24,233
Now Magic Carl is gonna go
to the other side of the stage,
284
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:27,400
and I'm gonna go to the other
other side of the stage
285
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:31,967
and visualize the card.
286
00:10:32,067 --> 00:10:35,833
Now, please, please make sure
that my assistant, Magic Carl,
287
00:10:35,933 --> 00:10:39,133
is placing that deck
very, very far away.
288
00:10:39,233 --> 00:10:41,167
[quietly] Distract 'em.
Distract 'em.
289
00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:42,800
Okay, so I'm just visualizing.
290
00:10:42,900 --> 00:10:44,367
Nothing to see, really,
over here.
291
00:10:44,467 --> 00:10:46,167
It's just me thinking,
visualizing, boring.
292
00:10:46,267 --> 00:10:47,200
[crowd gasps]
293
00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:48,700
And what--okay.
Whoa!
294
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,800
Okay, whoa.
What are you doing?
295
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,500
What are you--
what are you doing?
296
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,567
- I'm just doing
what feels right, okay?
297
00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:56,700
- This is not right.
Please put your pants back on.
298
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:58,500
- God, fine!
- Family show.
299
00:10:58,600 --> 00:10:59,800
- There's no kids here,
is there?
300
00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:01,200
- Well, I'm just saying--
301
00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:02,267
- There's no kids here.
302
00:11:02,367 --> 00:11:03,933
- All right, stop.
303
00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:05,633
- These are my best pants.
304
00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:07,800
I'm ruining my belt now.
Great.
305
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,933
But she is sexy.
306
00:11:10,067 --> 00:11:11,567
- 24, your bet.
307
00:11:11,667 --> 00:11:13,900
- [groans]
I don't have any money left.
308
00:11:14,067 --> 00:11:15,067
I guess I should go.
309
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:18,233
- What? No, don't do that.
310
00:11:18,333 --> 00:11:20,533
I will walk you to the ATM.
311
00:11:20,633 --> 00:11:21,700
It's about three miles away.
312
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:22,867
We should get going.
313
00:11:22,967 --> 00:11:25,233
- I mean, this ring
is worth 5,000.
314
00:11:25,333 --> 00:11:27,067
Can I gamble that?
315
00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:30,600
- Yes, you can.
316
00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:32,700
- No, no, no, no.
$5,000? We can't--
317
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:36,233
Pit boss DeMamp, please get
to the back of the house now.
318
00:11:36,333 --> 00:11:40,933
- Yes, and I will definitely
be right there, boss.
319
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,933
Tang, can I see your shoe?
320
00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:45,067
- Adam,
we cannot handle that bet.
321
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:46,900
Do not take that bet.
322
00:11:49,067 --> 00:11:50,967
Adam!
323
00:11:51,067 --> 00:11:52,367
[grunts]
324
00:11:53,933 --> 00:11:57,500
- And I visualized this.
325
00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:58,833
Queen of hearts,
what do you say?
326
00:11:58,933 --> 00:12:00,867
Waymond, is that your card?
327
00:12:00,967 --> 00:12:02,333
No?
328
00:12:02,433 --> 00:12:04,067
Okay, there had to be a mix-up
somewhere--
329
00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:05,067
- Hiyah!
330
00:12:05,133 --> 00:12:06,500
This is my show now, baby.
331
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,900
They want to see my dick.
332
00:12:08,067 --> 00:12:09,333
- Helicopter your wang!
333
00:12:09,433 --> 00:12:10,933
- Got it, buddy.
That's all I want to do.
334
00:12:11,067 --> 00:12:13,200
- Stop, guys. Next trick.
Carl, get in the box.
335
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:14,867
- No, you get
in the box, man.
336
00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:16,733
This puppetry of the penis,
it's so hot right now.
337
00:12:16,833 --> 00:12:18,867
They love it!
They love it.
338
00:12:18,967 --> 00:12:20,433
- If you could just
please get in the box.
339
00:12:20,533 --> 00:12:22,233
- You get in the box.
- Don't do that!
340
00:12:22,333 --> 00:12:24,900
- Get in the box, Magic Blake.
Get in the box, Magic Blake.
341
00:12:25,067 --> 00:12:27,567
- Carl, stop!
Please, this is my show!
342
00:12:27,667 --> 00:12:28,867
- Whoo!
- Please!
343
00:12:28,967 --> 00:12:30,767
- Shh.
- Stop encouraging him, please.
344
00:12:30,867 --> 00:12:32,867
Where is he?
This is not part of the show.
345
00:12:32,967 --> 00:12:34,600
Please, where are you, Carl?
346
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:35,933
[screams]
347
00:12:36,067 --> 00:12:37,433
[cheers and applause]
348
00:12:37,533 --> 00:12:39,233
What was that?
349
00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:41,833
- Okay, I'm done.
350
00:12:41,933 --> 00:12:43,567
You can do your next trick now.
351
00:12:43,667 --> 00:12:45,067
And back to Magic Blake.
352
00:12:45,167 --> 00:12:46,667
- I'm gonna kill you,
you stupid idiot.
353
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,433
I'm gonna kill you!
I'm gonna kill you.
354
00:12:48,533 --> 00:12:50,633
That's not magic.
- I'm sorry.
355
00:12:50,733 --> 00:12:52,733
- I'll cut your freaking dick
off, then.
356
00:12:52,833 --> 00:12:54,100
[crying]
357
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,267
My eye itches.
358
00:12:55,367 --> 00:12:56,933
- Ladies and gentlemen,
359
00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,667
we're gonna take a short
five-minute intermission.
360
00:12:58,767 --> 00:13:00,967
- Why does it itch?
Is it bleeding?
361
00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:02,133
Is it bleeding?
- It's fine.
362
00:13:02,233 --> 00:13:03,800
- Why did you do that?
363
00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:07,233
- I just need to verify
the authenticity of this ring.
364
00:13:07,333 --> 00:13:08,333
Yup, that's real.
365
00:13:08,433 --> 00:13:09,667
That is very hard.
366
00:13:09,767 --> 00:13:11,333
Actually hurt my tooth
a little bit.
367
00:13:11,433 --> 00:13:14,733
Diane, would you mind
getting this angel some chips?
368
00:13:14,833 --> 00:13:17,200
Changing 5,000.
- Whoo!
369
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:19,067
- Spend up, guys.
- Adam, don't.
370
00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:20,333
We can't cover that.
371
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,533
- Ders, just trust the math,
okay?
372
00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:26,700
As you know, the house
always wins.
373
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:27,800
- Blackjack.
374
00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:30,133
- [squeals]
Oh, my God!
375
00:13:30,233 --> 00:13:32,633
Well, that's the most fun
I've had all week.
376
00:13:32,733 --> 00:13:35,633
I'll cash out now, fellas,
if you don't mind.
377
00:13:35,733 --> 00:13:38,200
- I always knew math was a hoax.
378
00:13:47,267 --> 00:13:49,600
- So we don't have it,
your money,
379
00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:52,333
but we could probably
cover half.
380
00:13:52,433 --> 00:13:53,933
- Half? I'm sorry.
381
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,833
That's not how
this sort of thing works.
382
00:13:55,933 --> 00:14:02,100
- We can cover the other half
with IOUs and prizes.
383
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,867
- Have you ever been
to a fondue restaurant?
384
00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:05,733
We'll take you to one
every Sunday for a month.
385
00:14:05,833 --> 00:14:07,700
The Melting Pot,
have you been there?
386
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:11,067
- Of course she has, for
our 13th wedding anniversary.
387
00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:12,800
- Hi, honey, how was work?
388
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:14,633
- Not bad, babe.
389
00:14:14,733 --> 00:14:18,300
- What is happening right now?
390
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:19,733
You know Laura?
391
00:14:19,833 --> 00:14:21,933
- Of course I do. She's my wife.
392
00:14:22,067 --> 00:14:23,933
- These ass wipes
owe us 5 grand.
393
00:14:24,067 --> 00:14:25,500
- Is that right?
394
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,467
- We do, but 5 grand,
we can't pay that.
395
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:28,933
- We don't have that.
396
00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:30,333
- We don't have
that kind of money.
397
00:14:30,433 --> 00:14:32,267
Frank: Technically, you do.
398
00:14:32,367 --> 00:14:33,633
You got this house.
399
00:14:33,733 --> 00:14:35,400
You want your house back,
400
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,067
you give me my 5 grand.
401
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:40,433
Till then, get the [bleep] out
of my new casino.
402
00:14:40,533 --> 00:14:43,067
- Well, that was a disaster.
403
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:45,967
Magic Carl just sexually
assaulted my face.
404
00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:47,167
Yeah.
405
00:14:47,267 --> 00:14:49,500
Oh, hello.
406
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,067
I don't believe we've met.
407
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:52,900
I'm Magic Blake,
in-house entertainment.
408
00:14:53,067 --> 00:14:54,333
- Pleasure.
409
00:15:02,467 --> 00:15:04,900
- [yawns loudly]
410
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:07,667
- I hate sleeping on the floor.
411
00:15:07,767 --> 00:15:10,667
Only slept for, like,
seven hours or something.
412
00:15:10,767 --> 00:15:12,467
- You can thank Adam
for that
413
00:15:12,567 --> 00:15:14,067
and for taking
the world's dumbest bet.
414
00:15:14,167 --> 00:15:15,567
There's table limits
for a reason.
415
00:15:15,667 --> 00:15:18,400
- And there it is right there,
classic Ders:
416
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,100
passing the blame when you're
too busy smacking off
417
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,200
to realize that I need
proper supervision.
418
00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:25,900
That's on you, but that dude
never would've punked us
419
00:15:26,067 --> 00:15:28,300
if we were all alphas, Blake.
420
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:33,467
- I get it.
I am a beta B-word, yes,
421
00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:37,067
but, you know, maybe I thought
you guys, my alpha dogs,
422
00:15:37,167 --> 00:15:38,933
would protect me, okay?
423
00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:41,100
But you guys are so busy
fighting each other,
424
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,300
you can't even come up
with a good plan.
425
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,100
- Blake, I'm a hound dog,
426
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,967
and I'm gonna howl at the moon,
427
00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:49,400
and I shouldn't have to worry
about protecting you, okay?
428
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:54,300
- It might be time for us
to not be alpha dogs anymore
429
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:55,800
and start being alpha lions.
430
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:58,267
- We are all kinds of animals,
me and you.
431
00:15:58,367 --> 00:16:00,533
[both shrieking and snarling]
432
00:16:00,633 --> 00:16:03,967
[both barking]
433
00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:05,100
- Here's the plan:
434
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,833
sneak in through the crawl space
435
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,767
and then saw
through the bathroom floor.
436
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:10,167
- Right, but also the plan
437
00:16:10,267 --> 00:16:11,933
is to play music
off my Bluetooth shower speakers
438
00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:13,867
through my phone so that they
don't hear us sawing--
439
00:16:13,967 --> 00:16:15,933
- Sawing into the bathroom floor
440
00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:18,067
so we can get the floor safe
and use it
441
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,067
as a bargaining chip for Frank
and get the house back.
442
00:16:20,167 --> 00:16:21,933
- And go to the
timber sports tournament,
443
00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:23,400
and we bring sexy back.
444
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:26,333
- Okay, as The Woodsmen...
- Right, yeah.
445
00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:28,267
- Parentheses,
not the pedophile movie
446
00:16:28,367 --> 00:16:29,867
but, like, badasses who can
knock a deer out
447
00:16:29,967 --> 00:16:31,667
with one punch,
close parentheses.
448
00:16:31,767 --> 00:16:33,167
Okay.
- Here is the spot.
449
00:16:33,267 --> 00:16:34,767
- Okay.
450
00:16:34,867 --> 00:16:37,533
- Whoa, dude,
huge wasps' nest.
451
00:16:37,633 --> 00:16:39,233
Just stay back.
Give me the saw, all right?
452
00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:41,067
- Okay, no,
453
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:43,767
I carried the saw the whole way,
so I should get to saw first.
454
00:16:43,867 --> 00:16:45,267
- Dude, I saw first.
You saw second.
455
00:16:45,367 --> 00:16:47,100
That was the deal.
456
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,200
- Yeah, 'cause I'm the closer,
good call. Here you go.
457
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,767
- Whatever.
- Yeah, I close.
458
00:16:50,867 --> 00:16:52,833
- All right. Let me just make
a little groove here.
459
00:16:52,933 --> 00:16:54,500
- Get up in there.
460
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,067
[upbeat music]
461
00:16:57,133 --> 00:16:59,433
Long and lean, baby.
- Long and strong.
462
00:16:59,533 --> 00:17:01,767
*
463
00:17:01,867 --> 00:17:03,967
- Okay, here,
you're about halfway. My turn.
464
00:17:04,067 --> 00:17:05,733
- No, I'm kind of in a groove.
Just back off.
465
00:17:05,833 --> 00:17:07,333
Stop!
Dude, I'm not--
466
00:17:07,433 --> 00:17:10,300
- Let me saw!
- Oh.
467
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,067
- [screaming]
- Wasps, wasps!
468
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:17,133
- Shh, be quiet! Ow!
469
00:17:17,233 --> 00:17:19,067
*
470
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:21,167
They can hear us! Quiet!
471
00:17:21,267 --> 00:17:22,567
Shut up!
472
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,067
- Ow, ow, ow, ow.
473
00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:25,667
[both yelling]
474
00:17:25,767 --> 00:17:27,567
Adam: They're biting me!
475
00:17:27,667 --> 00:17:29,567
Ow! Save me!
476
00:17:29,667 --> 00:17:32,067
Ow! Ow!
477
00:17:32,167 --> 00:17:33,700
- Cover the hole!
Cover the hole.
478
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,400
- Oh, you are so slow at sawing.
479
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:40,833
Oh, you look bad.
You look bad, like pepperoni--
480
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:43,733
- Hey.
- What up?
481
00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:45,667
- We just stopped by
to check things out,
482
00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:47,067
make sure it's going well.
483
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:48,367
We're gonna get
out of your hair.
484
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,067
- Yeah.
485
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:51,500
- Do you mind if we head out
the front door, though?
486
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,967
Because bee problem down there.
487
00:17:53,067 --> 00:17:56,467
- Yeah, the wasps itch,
so take care.
488
00:17:56,567 --> 00:17:57,900
- Thanks for your time.
Excuse me.
489
00:17:58,067 --> 00:17:59,533
- Grab 'em.
490
00:17:59,633 --> 00:18:00,867
- You don't have to.
- Ow!
491
00:18:00,967 --> 00:18:01,900
- Okay.
492
00:18:02,067 --> 00:18:03,467
- Ow, ow.
493
00:18:05,367 --> 00:18:09,867
- Hey, ass wipes,
let my friends go.
494
00:18:09,967 --> 00:18:11,900
- Good.
495
00:18:12,067 --> 00:18:13,833
You're just in time
for the ass kicking.
496
00:18:13,933 --> 00:18:15,200
- Oh, yeah?
497
00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:17,533
Letting your dogs
do your dirty work?
498
00:18:17,633 --> 00:18:19,067
Gone soft, Frank.
499
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:20,633
- Excuse me?
500
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:23,133
- You, me, mano e mano,
one on one.
501
00:18:23,233 --> 00:18:24,867
High-stakes pokey.
502
00:18:24,967 --> 00:18:27,967
I win, you guys get the hell
out of our house.
503
00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:29,333
You win...
504
00:18:29,433 --> 00:18:31,567
- Which he definitely will,
Blake.
505
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:36,267
- There's the deed
to the old crib, huh?
506
00:18:36,367 --> 00:18:39,200
- Blake, no offense, but you
don't know how to gamble.
507
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:41,067
- Shut the hell up! Okay?
508
00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:42,467
We did your plan.
509
00:18:42,567 --> 00:18:44,433
Your guys' plan didn't work,
all right?
510
00:18:44,533 --> 00:18:46,200
So now it's my turn
to make the plans.
511
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:49,533
I'm the plan maker now,
alpha dog style.
512
00:18:49,633 --> 00:18:51,167
I don't give a [bleep].
513
00:18:51,267 --> 00:18:53,767
Start at the penis!
514
00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:55,533
Start at my penis.
515
00:19:05,767 --> 00:19:06,667
Frank: I'll tell you what.
516
00:19:06,767 --> 00:19:08,467
You fold right now,
517
00:19:08,567 --> 00:19:10,233
and I'll give you another shot
at that shrimp buffet
518
00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:12,067
before you hit the road
and don't come back.
519
00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:13,600
Blake: I'll tell you what.
520
00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:15,233
You fold right now,
521
00:19:15,333 --> 00:19:17,600
and I'll give you another crack
at the shrimp buffet
522
00:19:17,700 --> 00:19:21,067
before you go home, you.
523
00:19:21,167 --> 00:19:22,567
- That's exactly what I said.
524
00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:25,500
- Gentlemen, your card.
525
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,467
- Full boat, sixes over aces.
526
00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:30,767
- Oh, damn it, Blake.
- Ah, Blake!
527
00:19:30,867 --> 00:19:33,900
They have fricking shrimps,
dude.
528
00:19:34,067 --> 00:19:36,300
- 7 and 8 diamond.
529
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,167
That straight flush,
the high hand.
530
00:19:38,267 --> 00:19:40,967
- Oh, my God, we won!
- I won? We won?
531
00:19:41,067 --> 00:19:42,900
- All right!
- We won!
532
00:19:43,067 --> 00:19:44,500
[all yelling]
533
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,667
Adam: Oh, my God.
534
00:19:46,767 --> 00:19:47,900
Anders: You got bluffed.
535
00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:49,367
- [laughs]
536
00:19:49,467 --> 00:19:52,467
Ah, but, yeah, dude,
you got to go, I guess.
537
00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:53,967
Bye.
- Bye-bye.
538
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:56,333
- Let me be very clear.
539
00:19:56,433 --> 00:19:58,367
If I find out you guys
start running another table
540
00:19:58,467 --> 00:20:00,500
over at this house,
I will come back here
541
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,033
and break your goddamn necks.
542
00:20:02,133 --> 00:20:03,800
You can bet on it.
543
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:06,867
- Bet--oh, that was pretty funny
bringing bet back.
544
00:20:06,967 --> 00:20:08,833
- And I'm absolutely [bleep]
serious.
545
00:20:08,933 --> 00:20:10,567
- Yeah, duly noted.
- Truly noted, even.
546
00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:13,533
- Let's go.
- Thanks, Frank.
547
00:20:13,633 --> 00:20:14,733
- Good job, Goonie.
548
00:20:14,833 --> 00:20:15,800
- Hey, good dealing out there.
549
00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:17,300
- Just put these chairs in here.
550
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:18,800
- Love the hair, man.
551
00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:20,133
Friends don't let
friends get haircuts.
552
00:20:20,233 --> 00:20:23,000
- Karate kick.
- Yeah, bud!
553
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:25,133
- What the frick, man?
554
00:20:25,233 --> 00:20:27,567
You did it.
Oh, wait a second.
555
00:20:27,667 --> 00:20:29,400
Dude, did you have, like,
a card up your sleeve
556
00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:31,400
'cause you've been
studying magic for your shows,
557
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:32,800
picked up some tricks?
558
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,867
Adam: That's smart.
- Way alpha.
559
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,033
- No, actually, I didn't.
560
00:20:36,133 --> 00:20:37,833
I just kind of bet it all.
561
00:20:37,933 --> 00:20:42,367
Yeah, put my nuts on the table,
and then I did the damn thing.
562
00:20:42,467 --> 00:20:45,233
- So you could've lost
everything.
563
00:20:45,333 --> 00:20:46,600
- Yeah.
564
00:20:46,700 --> 00:20:49,467
But who's the alpha dog now?
[barks]
565
00:20:49,567 --> 00:20:51,933
- I guess we still are,
because you only did, like,
566
00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:53,400
one alpha dog thing.
567
00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:56,400
- And we do alpha shit,
like, every day, boy!
568
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:57,600
Alpha dogs, sound off!
569
00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:59,200
- Hoo-rah!
570
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:02,100
[both yelling]
571
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,600
- Hoo, hoo, hoo!
572
00:21:03,700 --> 00:21:08,500
both: Hoo-rah! Hoo-rah, hoo-rah!
Hoo-rah!
573
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,167
- Nice.
574
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,333
- Beta bitch right here.
575
00:21:16,433 --> 00:21:18,067
- Beta bitch, beta bitch.
- Who's the beta bitch?
576
00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:19,833
- Beta bitch, beta bitch.
- You the beta bitch.
577
00:21:19,933 --> 00:21:21,833
- Beta bitch, beta bitch.
- You the beta bitch.
578
00:21:21,933 --> 00:21:22,967
- Beta bitch, beta bitch.
579
00:21:23,067 --> 00:21:23,967
- Beta, beta, beta...
580
00:21:24,067 --> 00:21:25,300
both: Beta, beta, beta.
581
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:26,700
- Stop.
- You beta bitch, beta bitch.
582
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:27,700
- Stop.
- You beta bitch, beta bitch.
41381
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