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1
00:00:09,567 --> 00:00:11,267
- I'll admit it, guys.
We suck at chicks.
2
00:00:11,267 --> 00:00:13,833
- Yeah, man, 24 weeks
since we've kissed girls,
3
00:00:13,833 --> 00:00:14,933
besides our moms.
4
00:00:14,933 --> 00:00:16,233
- Okay, I was gonna say.
5
00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:17,800
- We got to do something
this weekend,
6
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,467
or else I'm gonna
donate my dick to science.
7
00:00:19,467 --> 00:00:20,900
- What we should do, really,
8
00:00:20,900 --> 00:00:23,100
is we should be
like those dudes on YouTube
9
00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:24,833
that, like, see hot chicks,
10
00:00:24,833 --> 00:00:27,333
and then they just go up to
them and just freaking scope
11
00:00:27,333 --> 00:00:29,567
'em out and say, "You're hot."
Smooch 'em.
12
00:00:29,567 --> 00:00:31,067
- Love those guys.
- Surprise smooch.
13
00:00:31,067 --> 00:00:32,633
You know,
they're caught off guard,
14
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,333
but they like it because it
was an aggressive kiss,
15
00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:35,967
but it was done
in a tasteful fashion.
16
00:00:35,967 --> 00:00:38,400
- Aggressive kissing,
like Harrison Ford-style.
17
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,433
- So you go that route.
I think I'm gonna class it up,
18
00:00:40,433 --> 00:00:42,800
probably get into wine,
so that hopefully, I can dine,
19
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:44,667
and--fingers crossed--69.
- Good angle, Ders.
20
00:00:44,667 --> 00:00:47,167
- Come here.
You want some sandwich?
21
00:00:47,167 --> 00:00:48,967
I bet you're used to eating
garbage all day. Come here.
22
00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:51,000
- Oh, God, Jillian's
dumpster-talking again.
23
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,800
- Okay.
- Jillian, hey!
24
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:54,400
Step away from the dumpster,
25
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,433
and let's go on inside
and talk to real people, okay?
26
00:00:56,433 --> 00:00:58,333
- No, no, no, there's
a little kitty cat in here.
27
00:00:58,333 --> 00:00:59,600
- You're talking to dumpsters.
28
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:00,900
It's no big whoop, right?
29
00:01:00,900 --> 00:01:02,500
We're all a little crazy.
30
00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:04,067
- No, I'm not crazy.
There's a cat in there.
31
00:01:04,067 --> 00:01:05,133
Oh, come on.
- Come on.
32
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:06,900
- I scared her.
- Just get down.
33
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,067
- She's in there.
Come here, kitty!
34
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:09,600
- Sad.
- Nothing's there.
35
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:10,700
- I'll help.
- Sure, yeah.
36
00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:12,433
- Come here!
- Jillian, stop.
37
00:01:12,433 --> 00:01:13,933
- Come here, little one.
- It's wet. It's wet trash.
38
00:01:13,933 --> 00:01:15,067
- Oh, gross.
- It doesn't smell great.
39
00:01:15,067 --> 00:01:17,233
- Oh, there you are!
See?
40
00:01:17,233 --> 00:01:19,533
I told you I wasn't crazy.
[laughs]
41
00:01:19,533 --> 00:01:21,800
[cat growls]
- Ow, ow, ow!
42
00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:24,800
["Jockbox" by The Skinny Boys]
43
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:25,867
*
44
00:01:25,867 --> 00:01:26,867
- * I'm fresh *
45
00:01:26,867 --> 00:01:28,467
*
46
00:01:28,467 --> 00:01:30,267
* You gotta, we gotta,
you gotta *
47
00:01:30,267 --> 00:01:31,833
* Gotta be fresh
48
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,467
- Ohh.
- Right?
49
00:01:35,467 --> 00:01:38,233
- It is a cute little baby
kitty cat, isn't it?
50
00:01:38,233 --> 00:01:39,633
- She's special.
51
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,067
I mean,
she's a little dirty,
52
00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:42,533
so you can't really
see her pussy,
53
00:01:42,533 --> 00:01:43,767
but we'll take care
of that, right?
54
00:01:43,767 --> 00:01:45,067
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, on that note,
55
00:01:45,067 --> 00:01:46,700
I'm gonna walk away
and avoid any kind
56
00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:50,067
of responsibility for that
bootleg-ass Heathcliff. Bye.
57
00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:53,767
- He should've said, uh,
Garfield.
58
00:01:53,767 --> 00:01:56,200
- [chuckles]
Why?
59
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,367
- Well, 'cause he's also a cat.
- Sure.
60
00:01:58,367 --> 00:02:00,600
- So I should've left
when Ders left, actually, so...
61
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,800
- Yeah, probably.
- Yeah, yeah.
62
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:04,700
- See ya.
63
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:06,067
Ahh.
64
00:02:06,067 --> 00:02:07,500
[in British accent]
What should we name you?
65
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:09,233
- [in British accent]
What should we name you?
66
00:02:09,233 --> 00:02:10,333
[normal voice]
How about Dumpster?
67
00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:11,900
- Ooh, what about Bonnie?
68
00:02:11,900 --> 00:02:14,733
My aunt had a large-chested
friend named Bonnie,
69
00:02:14,733 --> 00:02:15,933
who I was always very fond of.
70
00:02:15,933 --> 00:02:17,767
- Classic.
- Yes.
71
00:02:17,767 --> 00:02:19,767
- What about Chastity?
72
00:02:19,767 --> 00:02:22,867
Nah, this cat [bleep].
- Yes.
73
00:02:22,867 --> 00:02:25,533
Well, my brain is fried,
74
00:02:25,533 --> 00:02:27,500
and I'm starving.
75
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:28,933
- Me too.
76
00:02:28,933 --> 00:02:30,233
I could go for some...
77
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,533
both: Denny's.
78
00:02:32,533 --> 00:02:33,667
[cat meows]
79
00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:35,267
Denny's?
80
00:02:35,267 --> 00:02:36,767
- Denny's,
that's what we'll call you.
81
00:02:36,767 --> 00:02:38,200
- Hi, Denny's.
82
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,667
- Our little cat, Denny's.
83
00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:43,433
- Oh, dude, check it out.
84
00:02:43,433 --> 00:02:45,400
- Meth.
Okay, we're doing it.
85
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:46,867
- No.
- I'm actually kind of excited.
86
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:48,600
I've always wanted
to--to have a taste.
87
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,267
But I don't want
to lose me to it.
88
00:02:50,267 --> 00:02:52,933
- What? No, dude, this
is wine--wine aerator, right?
89
00:02:52,933 --> 00:02:55,667
But, like, I put like seven of
them in the whole thing, so,
90
00:02:55,667 --> 00:02:58,600
like, basically,
it gets super aerated.
91
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:03,067
That way, the classy chicks we
bring back here to drink it,
92
00:03:03,067 --> 00:03:04,833
they'll be drippin'
for a sippin'.
93
00:03:04,833 --> 00:03:06,567
- They're probably gonna be
warmed up from my aggressive
94
00:03:06,567 --> 00:03:07,733
surprise kisses.
- Exactly.
95
00:03:07,733 --> 00:03:09,067
- Right?
- Hey, guys.
96
00:03:09,067 --> 00:03:10,200
You got it?
- Uh-oh.
97
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,333
Hey, ho, cat in the dog house.
98
00:03:12,333 --> 00:03:13,800
Check it out. Yeah.
- Wow.
99
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,567
- What's that big, dumb,
stupid thing?
100
00:03:15,567 --> 00:03:17,233
- Mommy made a--
made a cat tower.
101
00:03:17,233 --> 00:03:19,400
- Yeah, and we've decided
that this is officially
102
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,567
Denny's home, so you'll be
seeing a lot more of me.
103
00:03:21,567 --> 00:03:23,067
Where are the keys?
104
00:03:23,067 --> 00:03:25,067
- I don't know
how to feel about that.
105
00:03:25,067 --> 00:03:27,067
But beer for my buddy.
106
00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:28,900
- Oh, thanks, dude.
- Hit that there.
107
00:03:28,900 --> 00:03:30,533
- Pipe it up with my amigos.
108
00:03:30,533 --> 00:03:33,233
- Oh, wow, does Daddy
think it's a good idea
109
00:03:33,233 --> 00:03:35,333
to smoke in front of Denny's?
110
00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:37,667
- Uh, yeah, actually,
you know what?
111
00:03:37,667 --> 00:03:39,167
I'm good off that.
- For real?
112
00:03:39,167 --> 00:03:42,400
- Yeah, I'm gonna pass
on grass tonight.
113
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,333
- We are gonna go out though,
right?
114
00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:47,233
- Right?
- Right.
115
00:03:47,233 --> 00:03:50,300
You don't care, right?
116
00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:51,867
- Oh, me?
117
00:03:51,867 --> 00:03:55,500
No, go have fun with
Unkie Adam and Unkie Ders.
118
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:56,733
- Unkie Adam, Unkie Ders.
I like that.
119
00:03:56,733 --> 00:03:58,300
- Yeah, all right!
- All right!
120
00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,067
- Bye-bye, cat.
Meow!
121
00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:01,600
- I need this.
- Meow!
122
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:02,600
Bye.
123
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,367
- Bye, cat!
124
00:04:04,367 --> 00:04:05,700
- All right, bye, sweetie.
125
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:06,900
Okay, sweet dreams.
126
00:04:06,900 --> 00:04:08,300
You have fun with Mommy,
all right?
127
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:09,467
- Be good.
- Hey.
128
00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:11,067
[mouths silently]
129
00:04:14,067 --> 00:04:16,067
- Oh, let's do this.
130
00:04:16,067 --> 00:04:17,533
Pardon me.
- Oh, and excuse me.
131
00:04:17,533 --> 00:04:19,800
- Hello, bartender,
132
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,267
I would like a glass
of your smoothest red wine.
133
00:04:22,267 --> 00:04:24,167
- How about a Cab'?
134
00:04:24,167 --> 00:04:26,800
- Uh, I just got here
in my own car,
135
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,333
so I'll pass on the taxi
and take that red wine, thanks.
136
00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:31,400
You believe this prick?
Crazy, right?
137
00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:39,067
- Yeah.
138
00:04:39,067 --> 00:04:41,600
- What's up?
- No.
139
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,100
- I find you attractive.
140
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:44,833
I do, and that's just a fact.
141
00:04:44,833 --> 00:04:45,933
Do you find me attractive?
142
00:04:45,933 --> 00:04:47,533
- Nope.
143
00:04:47,533 --> 00:04:49,067
- Surprise kiss.
144
00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:51,100
Ow!
I think you broke my nose.
145
00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:53,433
- Okay.
146
00:04:53,433 --> 00:04:56,167
- But I think, uh, if you guys
tasted a little wine,
147
00:04:56,167 --> 00:04:58,100
you might be--okay, all right.
148
00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,533
Dude, any luck?
149
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,267
- No, zero.
150
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:04,100
- Yeah, they're definitely
not a classy crowd.
151
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:06,767
- Look at this.
152
00:05:06,767 --> 00:05:09,267
Oh, my, that dirty dog.
- What?
153
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,400
- Then I pull out
her little can of cat food,
154
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,333
and she makes this face at me.
155
00:05:13,333 --> 00:05:15,167
Aah!
[laughs]
156
00:05:15,167 --> 00:05:17,067
[women whimper]
Yeah, I know.
157
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,233
And I'm like,
"Did I rescue her,
158
00:05:19,233 --> 00:05:21,100
or did she rescue me?"
You know?
159
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:23,333
- Aw, yeah.
- That's so philosophical.
160
00:05:23,333 --> 00:05:25,833
- She has the sweetest
little face.
161
00:05:25,833 --> 00:05:27,467
- Doesn't she?
- That goofy tongue
162
00:05:27,467 --> 00:05:29,100
isn't the cutest thing
I've ever seen.
163
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:30,400
- Okay.
- Okay.
164
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,100
- Watch out.
165
00:05:32,100 --> 00:05:34,400
I'm about to aggressively kiss
a girl by surprise.
166
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,967
- Wait, no, no,
hang on, hang on.
167
00:05:35,967 --> 00:05:37,567
- I'm in love, yeah.
- That's adorable.
168
00:05:37,567 --> 00:05:39,167
- Hey, well, if you guys
want to meet that darn cat,
169
00:05:39,167 --> 00:05:40,500
why don't you just
come back to our place?
170
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:42,667
We're his roommates.
- Really?
171
00:05:42,667 --> 00:05:45,767
- Uh...yeah, yeah, yeah.
172
00:05:45,767 --> 00:05:47,400
Heck, yeah.
Sure, we could--
173
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:48,867
we could probably wake her up
and say hi.
174
00:05:48,867 --> 00:05:50,933
Sure, yeah,
we could wake her up,
175
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:53,067
say hi, right now.
- Very cool.
176
00:05:53,067 --> 00:05:55,067
- Welcome to my house.
177
00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:57,267
- Hey, look at the time.
It's already wine:30.
178
00:05:57,267 --> 00:05:58,933
[laughter]
- Wine:30.
179
00:05:58,933 --> 00:06:01,433
- You guys are just, I'd say,
about eight minutes away
180
00:06:01,433 --> 00:06:05,900
from drinking the smoothest
2014 Brosé Mangria you ever had.
181
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:08,800
Here we go.
- Oh, look at it go!
182
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,300
- Right?
- Where's that cat?
183
00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:12,067
I'm not dying
to meet it or anything.
184
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:14,167
- Can we wake her up?
- Um...
185
00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:15,867
- It's a miracle
you haven't already.
186
00:06:15,867 --> 00:06:17,900
- Jillian.
Hey, Mommy.
187
00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:19,667
- Don't you "Hey, Mommy" me,
Daddy,
188
00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:21,533
barging in here
with these whores
189
00:06:21,533 --> 00:06:24,067
like the beginning
of some crude stag film,
190
00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:26,067
just ten feet away
from where your cat sleeps!
191
00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:27,900
- Okay.
- Oh, hey, hey!
192
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:30,467
We heard all about Denny's and
we just wanted to meet her.
193
00:06:30,467 --> 00:06:32,067
- [mocking accent] Oh, did you?
- Yeah.
194
00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:33,500
- [mocking accent]
Did you hear about Denny's?
195
00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:34,833
[normal voice]
Do you have any cats? No.
196
00:06:34,833 --> 00:06:36,833
- I--
- No, I didn't think so.
197
00:06:36,833 --> 00:06:38,400
Because if you did, you
wouldn't be dressed like sluts
198
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,333
and following home strange men
to pound Mangria.
199
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:42,067
Blake, can I see you
in the kitchen for a moment?
200
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:44,400
- Mm-hmm, yup.
- We're not strange.
201
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,700
- Yeah,
we're very non-strange.
202
00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:47,200
- By the way,
we are just minutes away
203
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,133
from the Mangria, ladies.
204
00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:51,633
- Yeah, so, you know,
we didn't wake her up.
205
00:06:51,633 --> 00:06:53,300
And I didn't think
it was that--
206
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:55,367
- Yeah, that's right, Blake,
you didn't think.
207
00:06:55,367 --> 00:06:57,500
Denny's was left for dead
in a dumpster,
208
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,567
and you didn't think
that maybe you shouldn't
209
00:06:59,567 --> 00:07:02,367
abandon her on the first night
of being her daddy?
210
00:07:02,367 --> 00:07:05,067
- Hey, I mean,
I just figured, you know,
211
00:07:05,067 --> 00:07:06,200
you're such a good mommy--
212
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:07,933
- Don't you patronize me!
213
00:07:07,933 --> 00:07:09,933
- Okay,
how would I patronize you
214
00:07:09,933 --> 00:07:12,667
when I don't even know
what that means?
215
00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:15,367
Okay?
[stammers]
216
00:07:15,367 --> 00:07:17,067
What do you want from me?
217
00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:19,300
- I want you to be
a good daddy,
218
00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:22,067
not some whore-mongering
night owl!
219
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:24,067
- Hey!
All right, at least those...
220
00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:27,467
[softly] whores...
aren't crazy!
221
00:07:27,467 --> 00:07:29,200
- Oh! Oh, that's right!
222
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,933
Because I am crazy, right?
- Oh, yeah!
223
00:07:30,933 --> 00:07:32,433
- Okay, yeah, 'cause I'm crazy.
224
00:07:32,433 --> 00:07:33,967
You know what?
- Yeah, oh, what you gonna do?
225
00:07:33,967 --> 00:07:35,333
- I'll show you crazy!
- Oh, yeah!
226
00:07:35,333 --> 00:07:37,100
- Denny's needs her dad!
- No, no, no!
227
00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:38,767
Throw 'em all over the place,
Jillian!
228
00:07:38,767 --> 00:07:41,500
- Denny's needs her dad!
- You fricking psycho!
229
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:43,867
Don't you throw
the nice plastic plates!
230
00:07:43,867 --> 00:07:45,633
- Denny's!
Because she needs one!
231
00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:48,467
- There's one
from Anders's birthday! Okay?
232
00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:49,767
- Ohh!
- No, let me help ya!
233
00:07:49,767 --> 00:07:50,767
Let me help ya!
- You want to help me?
234
00:07:50,767 --> 00:07:52,067
That's fine!
235
00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:53,533
- Just throw 'em
all over the place,
236
00:07:53,533 --> 00:07:56,467
'cause I work
at a goddamned dead-end job!
237
00:07:56,467 --> 00:08:00,567
I got the shortest straw,
didn't I, when I got you?
238
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,733
You're throwing plates!
239
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:05,667
[cat meows]
- She's awake now. Denny's!
240
00:08:05,667 --> 00:08:07,667
- Oh, come on!
- Denny's!
241
00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:09,500
- Oh, come on!
242
00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:10,633
- Uh, we should go.
243
00:08:10,633 --> 00:08:11,967
- Wait, no, no, guys, just,
244
00:08:11,967 --> 00:08:12,967
like, five more minutes
on the wine.
245
00:08:12,967 --> 00:08:14,133
- Surprise kiss!
- Aah!
246
00:08:14,133 --> 00:08:16,467
You--God!
- Oh, [bleep].
247
00:08:16,467 --> 00:08:18,833
- All right, see ya at the bar,
maybe, next time.
248
00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:20,467
- Too aggressive?
249
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:22,067
- I don't think so.
250
00:08:22,067 --> 00:08:23,067
- That's my point.
You're never here.
251
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:24,467
- Oh, come on!
252
00:08:24,467 --> 00:08:26,100
I have one cat,
253
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:27,933
and now I can't leave
the fricking house?
254
00:08:27,933 --> 00:08:30,267
You wanna know how many dinners
I had with my pops?
255
00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:34,267
Nada, zero, zilch,
nothing, okay?
256
00:08:34,267 --> 00:08:37,600
And I didn't turn out
to be a--any, uh, degenerate.
257
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,933
- Keep telling yourself that,
Blake.
258
00:08:39,933 --> 00:08:41,400
Say good-bye to Daddy.
259
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,467
- Fine, go!
260
00:08:43,467 --> 00:08:46,800
I don't care, actually,
at all!
261
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,633
[voice breaking]
Oh, God.
262
00:08:48,633 --> 00:08:50,267
Oh, great, great.
263
00:08:50,267 --> 00:08:52,267
- You know what?
Forget about that cat, okay?
264
00:08:52,267 --> 00:08:55,067
- No, actually,
don't forget about it,
265
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:58,567
because you are its daddy
and it is a little baby.
266
00:08:58,567 --> 00:09:00,233
So go fricking save
your baby, Blake.
267
00:09:00,233 --> 00:09:01,867
Go.
- Mm-hmm, okay.
268
00:09:01,867 --> 00:09:03,367
- Go save the baby.
- All right, yeah. Hell, yeah.
269
00:09:03,367 --> 00:09:04,867
- What are you doing?
This cat is problems.
270
00:09:04,867 --> 00:09:06,167
It's trouble.
- What is wrong with you?
271
00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:07,967
You almost blew it.
272
00:09:07,967 --> 00:09:10,700
The only reason that we had
those chicks over at our house
273
00:09:10,700 --> 00:09:12,933
was that cat
'cause chicks love animals.
274
00:09:12,933 --> 00:09:14,800
They love animals
even more than they love
275
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,233
surprise kisses.
- Mm-hmm.
276
00:09:16,233 --> 00:09:18,067
- So this is the angle,
right?
277
00:09:18,067 --> 00:09:19,367
- Yeah, okay.
278
00:09:19,367 --> 00:09:21,700
- So last night,
I was drunk.
279
00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:23,367
I said some things.
280
00:09:23,367 --> 00:09:26,300
It was stupid.
I didn't mean it, all right?
281
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,100
- I don't hate you, Blake.
- Okay.
282
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,733
- And I don't want
Denny's to hate you,
283
00:09:29,733 --> 00:09:31,800
which is why I think
we should do a joint custody.
284
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,900
I get her on the weekdays.
You get the weekends.
285
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:35,267
- Yes.
- Great.
286
00:09:35,267 --> 00:09:37,633
- Um, but actually,
it's Friday,
287
00:09:37,633 --> 00:09:39,133
so that's kind of,
like, technically,
288
00:09:39,133 --> 00:09:40,533
the start of the weekend.
289
00:09:40,533 --> 00:09:41,800
- I didn't think about that.
- Yeah.
290
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,133
- Here's her stuff.
291
00:09:43,133 --> 00:09:44,633
These are her toys.
- Yeah.
292
00:09:44,633 --> 00:09:46,967
- And this is her catnip.
- I know.
293
00:09:46,967 --> 00:09:48,767
- Carry it around at all times.
- Yeah.
294
00:09:48,767 --> 00:09:50,867
- Oh, and she only eats
off of a frisbee.
295
00:09:50,867 --> 00:09:53,367
It's the craziest thing.
- Yeah, I know!
296
00:09:53,367 --> 00:09:55,900
Okay, I-I know. I know
she eats off a frisbee, yes.
297
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:57,067
I know my--
298
00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:59,067
- Everything okay here?
- Yeah.
299
00:09:59,067 --> 00:10:01,033
- Everything's cool, Bill.
Thanks.
300
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,367
Yeah, she's with Daddy now,
301
00:10:02,367 --> 00:10:04,100
and I know how to take care
of her.
302
00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:05,567
- Bye, Daddy.
303
00:10:05,567 --> 00:10:08,767
Ow!
Gosh, you got a nerve.
304
00:10:08,767 --> 00:10:10,300
No, go harder.
305
00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:11,800
Work it out, betch.
306
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:14,667
*
307
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:21,500
*
308
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:22,833
- Welcome to our house.
Come on inside.
309
00:10:22,833 --> 00:10:24,367
- Hey. Wine is inside.
310
00:10:24,367 --> 00:10:27,367
Okay, this party is popping.
What's going on?
311
00:10:27,367 --> 00:10:29,300
- Yeah, it's kind of crazy.
312
00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:31,433
Way more people
than I was expecting.
313
00:10:31,433 --> 00:10:33,000
- I don't know.
both: Hey.
314
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,867
- Where's the free cocaine
from the flyer?
315
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:36,933
- Wow, weird. "Free cocaine"?
It does say that.
316
00:10:36,933 --> 00:10:38,300
That is weird.
I've never seen this before.
317
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:40,167
I don't know anything
about that.
318
00:10:40,167 --> 00:10:42,367
But I do know that there's
about to be a falcon debut
319
00:10:42,367 --> 00:10:43,900
happening in a few.
- That is true.
320
00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:46,400
- I'm a falconer,
so that's exciting.
321
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,067
- Hmm, I'm sorry
to be a wet blanket here.
322
00:10:48,067 --> 00:10:50,833
Uh, I don't know if this is
the best environment
323
00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:52,833
to be raising a cat.
324
00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:55,700
- Denny's is a chick magnet,
just like my falcon
325
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:57,400
is about to be a chick magnet.
326
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,267
Ders, you better get
a bunny wabbit or something,
327
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:00,967
or you're gonna be
sniffing on butt steaks.
328
00:11:00,967 --> 00:11:03,167
- I wouldn't worry
about me, guys.
329
00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:04,567
I think I'm gonna
have some dumb girl
330
00:11:04,567 --> 00:11:06,167
wrapped around my pinky
in no time.
331
00:11:06,167 --> 00:11:07,967
- Ooh-hoo.
- Because,
332
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:11,067
while you guys are fighting
over some animal-lover girls,
333
00:11:11,067 --> 00:11:14,300
I'm gonna track down me
a little animal hater.
334
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:15,633
[cat meows]
- That's right.
335
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,167
I'm calling it
"counter ho-gramming."
336
00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:18,900
- That is hella good angle,
337
00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:20,500
and I want to congratulate you
338
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:22,100
and wish you the best of luck,
in all seriousness.
339
00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:23,667
- Thank you. Boom and hello.
- Mwah.
340
00:11:23,667 --> 00:11:25,567
- Mwah-ah-uh-uh.
341
00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:26,933
- You know, I don't like
that we still do that.
342
00:11:26,933 --> 00:11:27,967
- Yeah, we don't have
to do that.
343
00:11:27,967 --> 00:11:29,167
- Yeah, we don't have to.
344
00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:31,833
- Whoa, nice shot, sista.
345
00:11:31,833 --> 00:11:34,267
Hey, what do you guys say
we liven this game up,
346
00:11:34,267 --> 00:11:37,433
drop in a real, live gerbil,
kill it?
347
00:11:37,433 --> 00:11:42,133
Right?
Spinnies! [chuckles]
348
00:11:42,133 --> 00:11:43,900
No?
Okay.
349
00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:45,567
Well, be sure and try
the Mangria.
350
00:11:45,567 --> 00:11:47,233
It's pretty tasty.
351
00:11:47,233 --> 00:11:50,400
- Hey,
that wasn't such a bad idea.
352
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,200
The gerbil.
- Oh. Oh!
353
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:53,867
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
thanks.
354
00:11:53,867 --> 00:11:54,900
That was--you thought
it was pretty funny?
355
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,200
- I thought it was hilarious.
356
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,700
I love terrorizing animals.
- Ooh.
357
00:11:58,700 --> 00:12:00,567
- Do you want to come back
to my place?
358
00:12:00,567 --> 00:12:02,133
I've got a couple
of tied-down raccoons
359
00:12:02,133 --> 00:12:04,600
that we can bash in
with hammers...
360
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,633
unless you're a knife guy.
- Uh...
361
00:12:06,633 --> 00:12:08,967
- Oh, you're a knife guy.
I knew it.
362
00:12:08,967 --> 00:12:11,933
Oh, just do me already.
- I want to.
363
00:12:11,933 --> 00:12:15,567
- Hear ye, hear ye,
animal lovers!
364
00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:21,467
Prepare yourself for the debut
of my pet falcon!
365
00:12:21,467 --> 00:12:23,467
Okay, cool, you're listening.
366
00:12:23,467 --> 00:12:25,767
I love animals.
367
00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:27,600
They mean so much to me.
368
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:32,533
So I would like to introduce
to all of you my beloved...
369
00:12:34,733 --> 00:12:36,533
Beth!
370
00:12:36,533 --> 00:12:38,933
Real falcon.
I just--I Amazon Primed her.
371
00:12:38,933 --> 00:12:40,900
Turns out you can get--
get animals on there.
372
00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:44,867
For Beth's first trick, she
shall fly through the kitchen,
373
00:12:44,867 --> 00:12:47,333
back to me, her master,
374
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:50,933
Adam "the Animal Lover" DeMamp.
375
00:12:50,933 --> 00:12:52,800
- Fly, Beth! Fly!
[falcon screeches]
376
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:55,200
- Oh! Okay.
[crowd gasps]
377
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,433
So now she's--she'll be fine.
She's gonna come back.
378
00:12:57,433 --> 00:12:58,633
Did she poop on you?
379
00:12:58,633 --> 00:13:00,433
Uh, that--that's okay.
380
00:13:00,433 --> 00:13:02,267
I trained her to do such.
381
00:13:02,267 --> 00:13:04,067
Beth?
382
00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:07,067
Ca-caw!
Ca-caw!
383
00:13:07,067 --> 00:13:08,533
- Den--Denny's?
384
00:13:08,533 --> 00:13:09,933
- That's really cool.
That's awesome.
385
00:13:09,933 --> 00:13:11,500
- I went to Tanzania
last summer.
386
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,833
- Oh, wow.
- And I shot a rhino,
387
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:14,700
and I sawed its horn off.
388
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:16,100
God, it was so hot.
389
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:17,567
- Yeah.
390
00:13:17,567 --> 00:13:19,767
- I still have the horn.
391
00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:21,867
I'd love to peg you with it.
- Oh...
392
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,367
- But first I wanna
kill something
393
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:25,333
and get really hot,
you know?
394
00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:26,833
- Yeah, oh, of course I know.
395
00:13:26,833 --> 00:13:30,400
One time,
I spit on this pigeon's face,
396
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,067
and then I got
a little boner--
397
00:13:32,067 --> 00:13:33,900
big boner--pretty big boner.
398
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,267
- Ooh, I know.
399
00:13:35,267 --> 00:13:36,833
Let's kill your friend's cat.
400
00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:38,533
- Oh, Denny's?
Oh--I--whoa.
401
00:13:38,533 --> 00:13:40,667
- I'll go get you a knife,
Knife Guy.
402
00:13:40,667 --> 00:13:43,333
And you just get ready
to give me that lap dagger.
403
00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:45,500
- Ooh!
- I'm talking about your dick.
404
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:48,567
- Yeah, I know.
I know. You grabbed it.
405
00:13:48,567 --> 00:13:50,100
- Excuse me,
I have a baby coming through.
406
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:51,333
Excuse me.
407
00:13:51,333 --> 00:13:54,100
Okay, just put you right to bed.
408
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,933
Oh, you had me worried sick.
409
00:13:55,933 --> 00:13:58,133
This party's a little
too crazy, huh?
410
00:13:58,133 --> 00:14:00,400
Oh, no, no, no, no weed.
411
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,667
Here you go, here.
412
00:14:01,667 --> 00:14:03,167
Yeah, have your catnip, okay?
413
00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:05,200
Daddy's gonna go party,
all right?
414
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,133
He's gonna go get twisted!
415
00:14:07,133 --> 00:14:11,400
Okay, oh, my gosh,
I am ready to party.
416
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,567
- Serve my man up with some
of that indo, my dude.
417
00:14:13,567 --> 00:14:15,467
- Oh, I need it.
418
00:14:15,467 --> 00:14:19,067
I'm stressing.
- I thought I was your man?
419
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:21,833
- No, you're my dude.
Blake's my man.
420
00:14:21,833 --> 00:14:24,133
- [coughs]
421
00:14:24,133 --> 00:14:25,500
Dude.
- Sticky, right?
422
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:27,067
- What the hell is this, man?
423
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,367
It tastes like Swamp Thing's
dingleberries.
424
00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:31,567
- Really?
I kind of like it.
425
00:14:31,567 --> 00:14:33,300
Whatever, it was free.
It was just sitting there, so...
426
00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:35,067
- Huh?
No!
427
00:14:35,067 --> 00:14:37,900
- Finders keepers,
losers weepers.
428
00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:41,467
- Adam, this is, um...
this is catnip.
429
00:14:41,467 --> 00:14:43,100
- That's like the weed name?
Like a--
430
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:45,400
- No, I think
it's actual catnip.
431
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:49,133
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no!
432
00:14:49,133 --> 00:14:52,067
No! No!
433
00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:53,800
- [gasps]
[cat groans]
434
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:54,867
[screams]
435
00:14:54,867 --> 00:14:59,067
*
436
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:04,467
*
437
00:15:06,533 --> 00:15:07,567
- Where are they?
- They're right there.
438
00:15:07,567 --> 00:15:09,267
- Where are they?
439
00:15:09,267 --> 00:15:10,600
- And it's not all Blake's
fault, by the way.
440
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,767
- Wait, are you boinking Bill?
441
00:15:13,767 --> 00:15:16,233
- Grow up.
[whispers] Yes.
442
00:15:16,233 --> 00:15:18,733
- She's alive, barely.
443
00:15:18,733 --> 00:15:20,800
Everybody, please back up.
444
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,067
I said get back, get back,
get back, get back, get back!
445
00:15:23,067 --> 00:15:26,233
Go! Go!
Butts to the wall!
446
00:15:26,233 --> 00:15:29,833
Dear Lord,
bless these fingers once more.
447
00:15:29,833 --> 00:15:32,833
[dramatic music]
448
00:15:32,833 --> 00:15:34,900
*
449
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,333
[cat retches]
- Whoa!
450
00:15:36,333 --> 00:15:37,467
- Whoa.
- Ew!
451
00:15:37,467 --> 00:15:38,900
- There's my girl.
- Dude.
452
00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:41,067
- There she is.
Old-fashioned stomach pump.
453
00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:42,633
- You're nasty.
- [laughs]
454
00:15:42,633 --> 00:15:44,267
Oh, thank God,
Denny's, you're all right.
455
00:15:44,267 --> 00:15:46,067
- You get back, Blake!
- Whoa!
456
00:15:46,067 --> 00:15:48,333
- [sniffs]
457
00:15:48,333 --> 00:15:49,500
Are you high right now?
458
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,067
- No, no, no, no, no.
459
00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:53,100
You're smelling catnip.
I smoked, uh, catnip.
460
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:55,067
I can't feel nothing.
461
00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:56,800
- That cannot be true.
462
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,067
I'm smoking it right now,
and I am...
463
00:15:59,067 --> 00:16:00,833
[imitates rocket lift-off]
464
00:16:00,833 --> 00:16:04,467
- And this asshole
hates animals.
465
00:16:04,467 --> 00:16:07,133
- [Ders on recording] One time,
I spit on this pigeon's face,
466
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,133
and then I got a little boner.
467
00:16:09,133 --> 00:16:10,800
[all gasp]
- No, I didn't! I didn't!
468
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,700
It was a big boner.
I don't have a little boner.
469
00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:14,300
So that's how you know
it didn't happen.
470
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:16,800
- Did your "counter ho-gramming"
go as planned,
471
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,600
you chauvinist pig?
472
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,067
Asshole!
473
00:16:20,067 --> 00:16:22,767
This party sucks.
- So you were never--
474
00:16:22,767 --> 00:16:24,867
- This is who you
surround my kitty with?
475
00:16:24,867 --> 00:16:27,300
Nip-smokers
and a pigeon-[bleep]?
476
00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:28,600
- Did you [bleep] a pigeon?
477
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:32,067
- You will never see
her again, Blake.
478
00:16:32,067 --> 00:16:33,567
Say good-bye to Daddy.
479
00:16:33,567 --> 00:16:34,600
- Oh, wait.
Hold up.
480
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,233
- Bill, warm up the car.
481
00:16:36,233 --> 00:16:38,233
- What else you want me
to warm up?
482
00:16:38,233 --> 00:16:39,867
We talk like that now.
- Come on, wait.
483
00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:42,133
- Nice, dude.
- Hold up. Ders, what?
484
00:16:42,133 --> 00:16:44,100
- No, I didn't--why--
no, I spit.
485
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:45,400
- Jillian!
Hey, hey, no, no, no, no.
486
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:46,767
You can't do this.
487
00:16:46,767 --> 00:16:48,467
Like, legally,
you can't do that.
488
00:16:48,467 --> 00:16:50,900
- Oh, really? You want me
to call the cops, Blake?
489
00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:53,567
Is that what you want?
- No, what--we don't snitch.
490
00:16:53,567 --> 00:16:55,933
- Look, Blake,
you're a good guy,
491
00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:58,533
but you're a [bleep] daddy.
492
00:16:58,533 --> 00:17:00,333
[cat meows softly]
- I know, honey.
493
00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:01,800
Come on, Bill.
494
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,167
- Hey, man, forget her.
Forget the cat, right?
495
00:17:04,167 --> 00:17:07,067
Why don't we go inside,
work some angles,
496
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:10,333
drink a little vino?
497
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:11,367
- Yeah!
498
00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:14,267
Whoo!
Cat's gone!
499
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:15,767
[intense techno music]
500
00:17:15,767 --> 00:17:18,400
Let's get loose!
Thanks, brother.
501
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,567
- Oh...
502
00:17:19,567 --> 00:17:21,400
*
503
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,600
- Okay, no, that's--
[belches]
504
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,067
That's cigarette butts.
505
00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:26,200
Want some?
- Nah, I'm okay.
506
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,067
- Your loss.
507
00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:30,200
Oh, that looks like a really
good year red, doesn't it?
508
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,500
Huh? Huh?
Yeah!
509
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:36,233
- Hey, you broke my aerator.
- Now we're having fun!
510
00:17:36,233 --> 00:17:38,233
Come on!
Turn the music up, bud!
511
00:17:38,233 --> 00:17:39,500
What we got over here?
512
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:41,367
Ooh, a Merlot, vino.
513
00:17:41,367 --> 00:17:42,933
Ders, you like that, huh?
514
00:17:42,933 --> 00:17:44,533
Oh, big old stout.
515
00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:49,767
Fancy Feast.
516
00:17:49,767 --> 00:17:51,167
[somber music]
517
00:17:51,167 --> 00:17:53,733
Tender Turkey Primavera.
518
00:17:53,733 --> 00:17:55,333
- Hey, um, look, Blake,
519
00:17:55,333 --> 00:17:57,100
we're gonna
get your cat Denny's back.
520
00:17:57,100 --> 00:18:00,933
- Yeah, and not because it
was a total pussy magnet,
521
00:18:00,933 --> 00:18:02,433
which it was.
- Totally.
522
00:18:02,433 --> 00:18:04,733
- But because you loved it.
- Yeah.
523
00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:06,400
- Daddy.
524
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,267
- Actually, it's kind of creepy
when you say it.
525
00:18:09,267 --> 00:18:10,667
- Okay, so here's the deal.
526
00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:12,467
We go in, we grab Denny's,
and then,
527
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:15,133
when she grows up to be, like,
a lion or a tiger or a liger
528
00:18:15,133 --> 00:18:16,700
or whatever she is,
she'll be all yours, right?
529
00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:18,300
- That's not how cats work,
but yes.
530
00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:19,367
He's right.
- Really?
531
00:18:19,367 --> 00:18:20,733
- Also, we're gonna make it
532
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,233
look like she just ran away,
all right?
533
00:18:22,233 --> 00:18:24,733
I got some paint,
marshmallow paw prints.
534
00:18:24,733 --> 00:18:26,633
- That's very cute.
- Yeah, thank you.
535
00:18:26,633 --> 00:18:29,633
- Okay, thanks, guys.
I appreciate it.
536
00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:34,800
Ow, you're up
my butthole, dude.
537
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,400
- I'm sorry.
538
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,533
- Okay, she's sleeping.
Shh.
539
00:18:38,533 --> 00:18:40,400
Go get your girl, boy.
540
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:41,967
Go get her.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
541
00:18:41,967 --> 00:18:43,500
[falcon screeches]
542
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:46,200
- Oh, my God.
No, it's Beth.
543
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,833
Oh, I'm so good
at fricking birding.
544
00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:49,333
- No.
- Watch this.
545
00:18:49,333 --> 00:18:51,700
- Beth, come to me.
[falcon screeches]
546
00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:52,800
- Blake.
- No!
547
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:53,967
[bones snap]
[all scream]
548
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,800
both: No!
- Shh!
549
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,700
Jillian: Who's out there?
both: Shh!
550
00:18:57,700 --> 00:18:59,333
Jillian: What's going on?
- Go, go, go, go, go, go.
551
00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:00,800
Go, go, go.
Jillian: Hey, who's out there?
552
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,067
- Denny's.
553
00:19:02,067 --> 00:19:03,800
["Jockbox" by The Skinny Boys]
554
00:19:06,733 --> 00:19:09,300
*
555
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:13,700
- Um, hey, uh...
- Hey.
556
00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:16,867
- I just want you to know
that I'm a bad daddy.
557
00:19:16,867 --> 00:19:19,267
- I'm also a bad mommy.
558
00:19:19,267 --> 00:19:21,067
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
559
00:19:21,067 --> 00:19:22,700
That's--that's not true
at all.
560
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:25,467
- Uh-huh. It is true.
- No, no, no.
561
00:19:25,467 --> 00:19:28,400
- After I left your house
on Friday with Denny's,
562
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,067
I was driving and texting.
563
00:19:31,067 --> 00:19:32,467
- That's okay.
- Yeah.
564
00:19:32,467 --> 00:19:34,200
- I ran a stoplight,
slammed on the brakes,
565
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:35,567
and Denny's flew
into the windshield.
566
00:19:35,567 --> 00:19:38,067
Wham!
Died on impact.
567
00:19:39,567 --> 00:19:40,967
- Wait, so she was dead?
568
00:19:40,967 --> 00:19:43,433
Or is--she is--
she is currently dead?
569
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:44,800
That's good to know.
Okay.
570
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:46,600
- But that's not all.
571
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,467
I laid Denny's out that night
to bury in the morning.
572
00:19:48,467 --> 00:19:49,600
And in the middle
of the night,
573
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,267
I woke up to a screech.
574
00:19:51,267 --> 00:19:53,500
And I'm not talking
about Dustin Diamond.
575
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:56,333
Now it flew off before
I got a good look at it,
576
00:19:56,333 --> 00:19:58,467
but then I found paw prints
outside my apartment,
577
00:19:58,467 --> 00:19:59,767
and it was then that I knew.
578
00:19:59,767 --> 00:20:01,133
- Paw prints.
- Hmm.
579
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:02,867
- Wait, knew what?
- Duh.
580
00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:05,667
That a young griffin
had broken into my apartment
581
00:20:05,667 --> 00:20:07,033
and eaten our cat's corpse.
582
00:20:07,033 --> 00:20:08,867
- Yes, a griffin.
- Yeah.
583
00:20:08,867 --> 00:20:10,533
- The legendary creature
584
00:20:10,533 --> 00:20:11,933
that has the body
of a lion and the head
585
00:20:11,933 --> 00:20:14,133
and wings of a falcon.
all: Yeah.
586
00:20:14,133 --> 00:20:15,167
- Man, really?
- I mean,
587
00:20:15,167 --> 00:20:16,700
there's no other possibility.
588
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:18,600
- There's literally
no other possibility.
589
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,100
- It couldn't--it wouldn't be,
like, my pet hawk or anything.
590
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:23,433
- Shh--sure couldn't be that.
591
00:20:23,433 --> 00:20:25,533
- Hey, Blake, I was hoping
we could put all the bad stuff
592
00:20:25,533 --> 00:20:30,633
behind us and have
a burial...together.
593
00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:33,300
- I'd like that...Mommy.
594
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:35,933
- Thanks...Daddy-o.
595
00:20:35,933 --> 00:20:37,500
[somber music]
596
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:39,867
- Good-bye, little angel.
597
00:20:39,867 --> 00:20:41,600
- I'll freaking miss you,
you jerk.
598
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,367
*
599
00:20:44,367 --> 00:20:47,167
- Magic!
600
00:20:47,167 --> 00:20:49,167
- She sure was.
601
00:20:49,167 --> 00:20:50,600
[hawk screeches]
602
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:51,867
Ah, a griffin!
603
00:20:51,867 --> 00:20:53,433
Go away, go away, go away!
604
00:20:55,933 --> 00:20:59,100
- Nope, that's just a hawk
I've never met before.
605
00:20:59,100 --> 00:21:01,833
I think I'll name her Beth.
606
00:21:01,833 --> 00:21:03,267
[hawk screeches]
- Oh!
607
00:21:03,267 --> 00:21:07,267
- Ohh...
- Nice.
608
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:08,733
- Nice!
609
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:14,200
- I'm beginning to think
610
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:15,667
maybe it's your attitude
611
00:21:15,667 --> 00:21:17,367
that sucks balls.
- [bleep] you guys, man.
612
00:21:17,367 --> 00:21:18,867
- There's the door.
- Yeah, you want some of this?
613
00:21:18,867 --> 00:21:20,500
- There's the door.
- Yeah! Get out of here!
614
00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:21,833
- Did he swing at you?
- Yeah!
615
00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:23,267
- Did you swing at him?
Did he swing at you?
616
00:21:23,267 --> 00:21:25,100
- Oh! Oh! Dude!
- You got in a fight, dude!
617
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:26,967
- I scared the [bleep] out
of that dude!
44289
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