All language subtitles for S08E08 - Day Court

$100 fine.

And that's a wrap.

Yes! Oh, now, hold on before you all go
running off. Harry, could you make this

fast? I've got a date with the harness
racer who is hot to trot.

You're dating a jock?

Four foot eight of pure muscle. The
woman gives new meaning to the term

saddle sore.

Just make sure you cross that finish
line by 9 a.m. because that's when we're

all due to be back here for work.

Why?

Is that 9 a.m. when we start work, 9
a.m.? Or 9 a.m. in the morning, 9 a.m.?

How do you do it?

Do what?

Find your way to work.

Unfortunately, Judge Pond's vacation
fell on the same week as Judge Fuller's

prostate surgery, so we've all been
assigned to day court for the week.

That is a crock. What about my day job?

What do you mean, the paper route?

No, I gave that up.

He wants to bicycle to Connecticut every
morning.

Now I have an ice cream cart.

Frusen Schnitzel.

The East German taste sensation.

I'm sorry, big guy, but we're officers
of the court, and this week the court

needs us during the day. So hasta
mañana, amigos.

Sir? Yeah?

I'm afraid I have a scheduling problem.

Don't tell me. You sell cutlery.

No, see, Tony and I have a standing
appointment every day at 12.

Ah, young love, a scheduled nooner.

You're a slug.

Well, I'm sorry, Christine, but I don't
see how a lunch appointment can be more

important than your job.

Um, sir, it's not a lunch appointment.
It's more personal.

You mean the slug's right?

Tony and I are seeing a marriage
counselor.

Oh, gee. I knew you two had problems,
but I didn't realize they were that

serious. You have an appointment every
day at noon?

Except Saturdays and Jewish holidays.

Well, don't worry. We'll juggle the dock
and we'll break you away during lunch.

Thank you, sir. I appreciate it. Okay.

And, uh, now you get home because you
got a little person there who needs you.

You're right.

It's post time!

What a strange way to greet someone.

Can't get a handle on that nine-to-five
routine, huh? Yeah.

Usually about this time, I'd still be in
bed.

About a half hour later, I'd be on my
way home.

Good morning. Good morning.

We danced all night through good
morning. Good morning to you.

Oven-fresh ginger snapped. I baked them
myself.

What are they laced with?

Love, kindness, and a pinch of sunshine.

Gee, look at that glorious sky.

Hey, maybe Harry will let us hold court
outside today. We could go to the park

and dip our little toes in the rain.

Ross, what's wrong with you?

You want to talk?

There's nothing to talk about, Mickey.

I guess I'm just a day person.

That's ginger snap, bully boy?

Thanks. Ice cold frusen schnitzel?

Isn't that sweet?

Thank you.

Mind if I park here?

Don't tell me. The East German taste
sensation.

So good it led to reunification.

Oh, what a morning.

Piece of advice.

Never feed a baby wearing a business
suit.

Although I bet the little type looks
cute in herringbone.

You're on.

All rise.

Criminal Court Part 2 is now in session.

Your Honorable Harold T. Stone
presiding.

Good morning, plaintiffs and plaintees.
It's a beautiful day and the wheels of

justice are raring to go for a spin.

Wow!

It must be the sunlight reflecting off
my head.

Better?

Thank you, Bob.

Tell us a little something about our
first contestants.

Contestants? Angelo, did he say
contestants?

Since when do trials have contestants?

Excuse me, would you gentlemen happen to
be from the Bar Association?

No, sir.

We gentlemen are from the Golden Oaks
Retirement Home.

I'm Angelo. And I'm Norman.

And we spend our days here. Every day
for the last ten years. Over 20,000

cases. And not one contestant.

Well, I guess I do run my court a little
less formally than most.

I've seen more protocol at a fish fry.

All right, Matt, what do we have?

Well, we got a graffiti charge, a couple
of kids who opened a fire hydrant, two

tiffs, a spat, and a really heated chess
argument.

That's it?

No holdups? No. No bar fights? Uh-uh. No
ladies of the evening persuasion? Uh-uh.

Hey, this is downright civil compared to
the night shift. I could get used to

this. Wait, wait. Here's one more up
your alley, sir. People versus Douglas,

felony weapons charge.

Mr. Prosecutor? Yes, sir. The defendant,
a Manhattan cab driver, was pulled over

for a routine traffic stop when the
officer saw this hanging from his

rearview mirror.

A hand grenade?

Hey, it's a tough town.

Your Honor, my client claims this is an
illegal search and seizure.

A constitutional argument?

We never get those at night. Is the
arresting officer here?

Yes, Your Honor.

So what's your side of this?

Well, Your Honor, I observed a
perpetrator changing lanes without

signaling. Who signals in Manhattan?

The last time I stuck my arm out to
signal, it came back shy two rings at a

time.

Then, as I approached the vehicle, I saw
the grenade hanging next to the St.

Christopher. Is he the patron?

Say something explosive.

Your Honor, I can't help but wonder why
the officer was harassing my client to

begin with.

Harassing? Oh, I know. It goes with the
badge.

Being a cop is in your blood.

But it's not just a job. It's an
obsession.

And pretty soon you're working double
shifts. And when you do get that rare

day off, it's hanging out with the guys.
And when you are home, you're asleep in

front of the TV set instead of helping
your wife stifle your son.

Lady, my son is 32.

Oh, you think that's a good excuse? Oh,
come on, give me a break.

Sounds like we need a ten-minute recess.

Fence, have a ginger snap.

I'd like to see defense counsel in my
chambers.

Now?

I bet you two bucks they got something
going.

You're on.

Christine, I know that you and Tony are
having marital difficulties, but that's

no excuse for behavior that could
jeopardize your client's case.

You're right, sir.

I had a cow out there.

You had a herd.

Is this really because Tony's gone back
to work as a cop?

Well, that certainly hasn't made it any
easier.

Have you ever tried to plan a baby's
feeding schedule around a stakeout?

Not that I can recall.

That's really it, anyway.

I mean, even I have come to realize that
Tony has to be a cop. It's not what he

does, it's what he is.

You know, he tried another job for a
while. He did? Yeah, he worked at

Macy's. You know, he busted 23
shoplifters in three weeks. They fired

him. Sounds like he was doing a great
job. Why would they fire him?

Well, he was hired to sell ladies'
shoes.

Tony's not cut out to sell pumps to
little old ladies.

He's a free spirit.

The same free spirit that made Tony the
single guy so attractive makes Tony the

husband so infuriating.

Oh, Harry, I'm afraid we went too fast.

Tony's not ready for this kind of
responsibility.

Nobody's ever ready for that. You grow
into it.

Not Tony.

I wouldn't be so sure.

Maybe you're too close to the situation.
Maybe you need the perspective of

someone who's removed.

You know, someone who really understands
human nature.

Now, who immediately springs to mind?

Phil Donahue.

No, no, no. I mean someone who can
observe the human condition and make

sense of it all.

Gareth and Keillor?

No, no, no, no, no.

Someone you know who can look at the
situation and make a valid judgment.

Irma Bombeck.

No, me.

Harry, what are you trying to say?

I'm saying that maybe you're wrong about
this. Maybe Tony isn't the kind of guy

who just thinks about himself. Maybe
he's going to come around and work hard

and everything's going to turn out just
fine.

The point is... Yeah,

just don't.

Uh, yeah, she's here.

Is it Dr. Zuckerman for you?

That's her marriage counselor.

Dr. Zuckerman.

Oh, he did.

Oh, no, he didn't tell me.

Okay, well, we'll see you tomorrow,
then.

Oh, he did.

Ah.

Okay. Thank you.

Goodbye.

So, what's up?

Well, I will be having a lot of time on
my hands. It seems that Tony not only

canceled today's session, but he
canceled our therapy altogether.

Sure, I have Garrison Keillor's phone
number in here, too.

All right, it's settled, then. A dozen
eggs does count as one item.

Agreed?

Very Solomon-like of you, sir.

Personally, I would have given him the
chair.

Hey, this day stuff is a snap.

That's lunch, people!

And I do mean lunch.

You know, it's such a beautiful day
today. I think I'll go out and buy

myself a chapeau.

I believe that's one of the twelve signs
of the apocalypse.

Hey.

I know you don't have lunch plans or
anything, so you want to come to the

office? We can split a peanut butter
sandwich and talk.

Although we might end up talking again.

Yeah, I'd like that.

Come on.

Frozen Snickers!

Get it while it's frozen!

Care for some ice cream?

The chocolate sauerkraut swirl is
exceptional today.

This is weird. I know that face.

Where do we know you from?

Don't you remember?

All rise.

Criminal court part two is now in
session.

Oh, yeah.

The tall fella.

You got a new job?

This? No, this is just something I do
when I'm not working in Judge Stone's

court. Kid, I've seen Judge Stone's
court. Keep the day job.

Freshen schnitzel.

Okay, name your poison. We got creamy,
we got chunky, we got extra creamy,

extra chunky, creamy chunky, and
jalapeno.

You know, Harry, I realize I've been
asking Tony to change, but I've stayed

the same. Isn't that fair?

I should change, too. You seem like the
creamy type to me.

Tony and I are like oil and water. He's
Rambo. I'm June Cleaver. I like an

exciting life, and I like an ordinary
existence.

I think I'm too controlled.

Too orderly.

Too...

You think I'm too compulsive, Harry?

No one has cut the crust off my bread
since I was eight.

There, see, that's what I mean. All
right, from now on, I'm going to try to

be more easygoing. I'm going to cool out
if it kills me. I'm going to be more

freewheeling and loose.

I'm going to make another sandwich, and
this time the crust... Day on.

Whoa, don't go for it all at once. You
don't think I can do it, do you? Hey,

I'm sure you can do it. I'm just not
sure you should.

You know, when I got together with
Margaret, you were the one who told me

to be myself.

I am not going to let this marriage go
down the drain.

I am going to live on the edge of the
fast lane.

Or whatever you call it.

I am going to change, Harry.

Right. Here you go. Enjoy.

Ah, eat over the plate. You might get
crumbs on your shirt.

All right, I have a little work to do.

Do you have a reservation?

I beg your pardon?

For a table. If you didn't call ahead,
I'm afraid I have nothing available.

We're talking about the cafeteria?

During the day, we refer to it as the
blue room.

Don't you, Jean-Pierre? Ah, yes.

Mr. Norman, Mr. Angelo, I have your
usual table under the ice sculpture.

Lead the way, shiny.

What are you doing here, Dan?

I say you need a reservation. Can you
believe it?

Reservations for Mack Robinson?

Yes, Mr. Robinson.

And, uh, guests.

Please follow me.

The oyster Rockefeller.

Hmm.

How do the tuna melts look today?

Can you believe it's the daytime we're
going to band?

Look, that lettuce is green.

That meat isn't.

You must be a night person.

I pity you.

Nice eyebrows.

Who was your grandmother, a horned owl?

Your snappy retort has stung me to the
bone.

I must write that down, nitwit.

Calm down and read your menu.

Hey, Mac, is that you?

In the flesh? Hey, what's the good word,
Jack?

Do not partake of the Oyster's
Rockefeller.

Oh, thanks.

Surprised to see you here. I didn't know
you worked days.

I do.

What do you think? Is it really me?

I'm not sure.

Mac? Yeah?

Doesn't this all just seem a little
surreal to you?

Nah.

Ladies and gentlemen, the...

It was just one of those things.

Just one of those crazy flings. One of
those bells that now and then rings.

It was just one of those things. It was
just one of those nights.

Just one of those fabulous flights.

Trip to the moon on gotham wings.

It was just one of those things. If we
thought a little bit about the end of

it. When we.

There I go again.

All right.

Much better.

Hey, Sullivan, how you doing?

Hey, Giuliano.

Couldn't be better.

Listen, I'm sorry about the session
today. I just thought we had had enough.

Oh, no. Don't be sorry. I understand.

I figured we tried it for two weeks.
There was really no reason to keep

going. Absolutely. I couldn't agree
more.

You're not upset?

Silly boy.

Okay, yeah, well, there might have been
a time when I would be hurt and

disappointed, but there was also a time
when I used to cut the crust off my

bread. But I've turned over a new leaf.
From now on, Christine Sullivan goes

with the fold.

Flo.

Exactly.

I've got good news for you, Tony.

We don't need a marriage counselor
anymore.

We don't? Nope.

I got the problem all figured out.

You do?

Yep. See, I've been asking the
questions.

Why can't we work this out? What's the
matter with us?

And then it hit me.

There's no us.

There's no we.

We're just Tony and Christine, two
strangers and a baby.

So what do you think?

What I'm saying is what we need is a
plan.

You and I used to be a we once. It can
happen again.

Remember at the beginning?

There was something about us that was so
exciting.

You made me feel so alive.

It was really special, wasn't it? Yeah,
and it can be again.

All we have to do is get back to where
we were before you left for South

America.

You make it sound so easy.

Christine, I wasn't prepared for any of
this.

I came back from Columbia one morning. I
showed up here that evening to ask you

out to dinner.

Next thing I know, I'm heading uptown in
a cab with a wife I wasn't really sure I

had and a son I didn't even know was on
the way.

It's been a very confusing few months
for me.

For me, too.

That's why we really have to work
harder. We have to commit to adjusting

to each other.

You mean change?

Yes! Yes, and Tony, I've already
started, and it's really easy.

So, your idea is that we each become
someone that we're not.

You know, Tony, before my transformation
into this freewheeling, anything-goes

kind of gal, that kind of attitude might
be ticking me off right about now.

I'm sorry. No, no, don't be sorry. Don't
be sorry. Be positive.

We have a goal.

All we need is a plan.

Actually, I have something that I think
might help us out.

There you go, Tony. I knew this was
going to work. Go ahead. What is it?

I think we ought to try living apart for
a while.

I think that might be just what our
marriage needs.

A little time and space.

No, Tony, a physicist needs time and
space.

A marriage needs work and commitment.

But the work only pays off if you really
want it to. That's the question.

Do you really want it to?

Do you really want it to?

I got to get back to work.

Yeah, me too. I got a ton of briefs to
go.

Goodbye, Kelly.

I'm sorry.

Goodbye, Juliana.

You ought to be.

Hey, you sure you're okay? You want to
go to dinner or something?

Oh, thanks, Harry. I'll be fine.

I'll be fine.

Hey, Judge.

Bravo.

No,

no encores, no encores. Judge Stone has
left the building.

Angelo, if we hurry, we could squeeze in
a custody battle. Go.

Stone, you still got it.

Hey, Bull.

So how'd it go?

Another day, another Deutschmark.

What are you guys looking at?

The weirdest thing.

The sun is going away, and it's getting
dark.

Guess we never have looked at a sunset
together before, have we?

We've seen a few sunrises.

That we have.

Maybe it's time we shared a new
experience.

Never gets boring, does it?

Nope. I'm always overwhelmed by nature's
miracles.

Ross, I had no idea you were so
sentimental.

Times like this that make me glad to be
on the planet.

I'm glad that I can share them with good
friends.

The day is done.

Now get your arms off of me before I rip
them out of their sockets.