Original subtitles

ISI TER JUNG

AS THE GIRL ATLANTIS IN

MEN ARE MADE FOR LOVING

A FILM BY ECKHART SCHMIDT

Where's Atlantis?

No idea.

Atlantis! Atlantis, what's going on? Come!

I'm sorry, but I must've made a mistake.

Get your act together! Let's go!

You know how important this adventure is for the continent of women.

Atlantis! Atlantis!

They are meant to be our slaves. Don't you forget it.

The men here have only one thing in their mind: women.

So they're easy targets.

And when you play the sex game with them, then just to conquer them.

I expect of you to function better than your girlfriends did.

And now show me what you've learned on Fargo. Over there!

Yes ... come on ... faster ...

Yes ... we'll get him ... faster ...

He's mine ... mine too ...

Damn!

We'll get him soon ... now ... now

Off with the pants!

Off with the pants!

Get lost, he's mine, I saw him first.

Get lost ... away with you

It works! It works!

It worked!

Ain't he a cutie?

He's buff. The right age, too.

Hopefully, we can enlarge him again down there.

Hand him over. On with it!

Otherwise our dear girlfriends might outshine us.

- What's the matter? - I can't do it.

Nonsense! It's simple. And pleasant. You'll see.

That was just the beginning.

I can't see any more! I beg you! I beg you!

I beg you! Leave me be ...

- Don't you want to? - Someone's waiting for me. Please!

Leave me be. Someone's waiting. Stop it. Please!

Someone's waiting, please!

Finally.

First-rate stuff. From Denmark.

Quiet, please.

- ... and this. - How much?

87.50 Marks.

- Keep the change. - Thanks.

Have fun with it! See you!

Yes, come again soon, please!

Do you have time for me now?

The old guy is one of my best customers.

HELGA & BERND PRESENT 100 SEX POSITIONS

These days there's no shame in selling this.

I myself am not interested in something like this, of course.

Great, really!

Why are you not interested in something like this?

Well, you know ... I'm generally not interested in women.

There's no shame in that these days.

And I make such an effort! What a bust!

Carol wouldn't have failed like that. Snap snap and the guy's tiny.

- Tiny? - When I say tiny I mean it.

I'm looking for men who are interested in women. Like in your books.

- Those do exist here, don't they? - Yes, unfortunately. Unfortunately.

CITY HALL

Hello mayor!

Hurry! Before someone sees us! My wife ...

I need it, I need it now! Hurry! On with it!

You're my savior.

You're exaggerating, mayor.

She tried to seduce me.

She did?

No one can see us! My wife ...

Shame on them!

To hell with them!

I'll trick everyone.

They'll think I'm out hunting.

These are my hunting grounds.

Gotta have brains.

Try over there.

- But there are no mushrooms here! - I said, try over there!

Stop whining.

Hey, are you into men, too?

You have no idea what it means to be mayor in this town.

And my wife ... They only vote for me because of my wife.

Everything belongs to her. Everything.

The forest is my only comfort. The forest, and his books.

Don't you finally want to make love like in the books you've bought?

If you'll love me, you'll become this tiny.

You will be happy with us.

Daddy, mommy yelled at me!

You depraved beast! In my forest!

- Traudi, I didn't ... - Disgusting wastrel ...

She attacked me, she should be locked away ... Traudi!

Fight to the death! Fight to the death! Fight to the death! Fight to the death!

MUNICH STATION

BAVARIAN STATE BANK

Excuse me, I'm sorry!

Holdup! Holdup! Holdup!

Damn!

Where is he? Where is he? Where did he go?

Stop! You're his accomplice! I'll take you to the precinct!

I'm happy that at least one guy shows interest in me.

He's one of the most dangerous bank robbers in Germany.

The others drive to the countryside for their jobs, he comes into the city.

Disguised as a priest.

Today he escaped me for the third time.

Bot someday I'll catch him. Convict him! Crush him!

Do we start now?

Now I know his tricks ... All of them.

I've figured him out.

I'm glad we've met.

He doesn't stand a chance.

And I'll get a promotion.

And once I got the promotion ...

Come ... come on ... come ...

Kalmbach! Yes, inspector!

The insurance will have to cover it ... very good!

... terrible ... terrible ... yes, I'm a terrible detective ...

... yes ... all right ... yes ... alright ... yes, yes, yes ...

I know, inspector, but I'm not to blame.

28 grand? He disguised himself as a sold- ....

... at first as a priest, then as a soldier.

Right away ... right away ... I'll be there right away ... right away.

... right away ... be there right away ... right away ...

Hey, your clothes!

Until now I thought of you as my friend!

- You'll get the money. - When?

Tomorrow ... really!

- What do you think of her? - Leave me be!

At least look at her! She's my exact opposite.

According to Oskar Wald this is important.

She's younger than me, that's important, too. So what do you say?

Go over there and talk to her. Be charming and don't pick your nose.

Right now I'm eating.

This is more important than your damn food!

Who is the one trying to save our marriage? You or I?

- May I sit with you for a minute? -Of course.

I don't believe it! With my money? When did this happen?

Whenever.

You can't spend 1000 Marks in two days!

You think so?

I act in your moronic commercial ...

"For me, there's just one beer. Moron Beer!"

And you waste my fee.

I'll get it back.

- How will you do that? - Maybe I'll find a way.

Did you read Oskar Wald on the modern marriage?

Oskar Wald? (Pun on Oscar Wilde)

The modern sex education teacher.

He says that many marriages would improve,

if the concerned parties would simply forget the enforcement of faithfulness.

Got it? Adultery as a corrective for the crisis of matrimony. Ok?

This is my husband.

We've been married for ten years.

And it's terrible.

If you're interested in him ... You have to help me!

And if you lose your husband because of me?

- I ... have to take the risk. - Even if it might be permanent?

One day he'll return to me. I know that. We love each other.

And if he wouldn't return to you at all?

- He's not your type? - No it's not that. Really, it isn't.

- Beate! - Slut!

Tomorrow when?

Whenever. Let's say 10 am to 10pm. Or 9am to 9pm. Your choice.

And until then.

Sure. Don't worry. You know me.

I'm a swell pickup artist. You of all people should know.

Come on, my pleasure-toy, come on!

Off to bed, haha!

Hurry up! My sweet bug.

Hey, wait up! Now I want to!

Buzz off, trollop! Come, my sweetie-pie!

Not a single one yet. I'm inept! Inept!

- She was good, wasn't she? - Too good for you and your damn money.

You stay here! Either I get the money tomorrow, or I'll clear out your flat.

Wait here!

You're grieving! Admit it.

- Can I help you? - I don't think so.

I'm in my prime.

I'll bet your friend vanished into thin air by now.

So what ... so what.

Damn it! He didn't pay for the food. Wait a minute! Just a second!

Wait up!

Hey, what about the check?

- Wait a minute. - Pay first!

35.40 Marks.

Atlantis!

Are you making progress?

Forget it.

I don't have time for you now.

- Is your place far away? - Five minutes.

Wait for me, I'll be back in a minute.

- Do you have him? - Of course. Wanna see?

No!

- Hey Atlantis! - Aren't you feeling sorry for him?

I didn't force him to sleep with me. By the way, he liked you.

- How many do you have? - 18. I need two more. And you?

Our kind of love still is the most beautiful one. Isn't it?

My dear, you don't have to feel bad. The few we take away won't be missed.

They are plenty of men here.

We have no choice. Or do you want Fargo to die out?

Let me see what you came across.

- Not a single one? - I can't do it.

What a bust. Did you at least try?

- It doesn't work. - What doesn't work? They don't shrink?

I didn't even make it that far.

I wouldn't want to be in your shoes.

Come with me. I'll show you how to do it.

- No use. - Wait and see.

That one, look.

- Not him! - Why not?

- I beg you! - Wait for me.

- I tried it with him before. - Yes, you tried.

Either you go to bed with me right now, or, I'll tell everyone here, that ...

... you are not that well equipped ... in a certain area.

All right. Let's go.

We met earlier today.

Won't you undress?

- No. - Never?

She can watch.

- What is it? - Nothing.

She's making me nervous.

Why don't you leave?

And why don't you leave?

She wants to shrink you. She wants to shrink you!

Atlantis, how could you!

Are you mad?

- I don't want him to shrink. - You're inept.

Over!

Your lucky day.

Lucky?

- Bakada! - You? I'm fed up with you, got it?

- I'm sorry! - Oh, really?

He's the friend of ... not him!

And why not? You know that men are slaves.

They're made for procreation, not for love.

I know.

What are you waiting for, then. We have to head back.

I won't be able to do my share.

The special training wasn't very successful in your case.

Just one hint. His name is Oskar Wald.

A professor of sexuality. Red-Beech Alley 12. It's a cinch.

If you get him, everything else will go smoothly.

- You think so? - Make an effort.

You know what you have to expect on Fargo if you fail. Get a grip!

What are you feeling? Anja? Anja?

Quite good so far.

Kiss her!

- Where? - On EZ3!

- Where? - On the neck!

By now you should know where EZ3 is located!

Go on! What are you waiting for?

Anja! Anja! How do you feel, damnit?

Good, very good!

Any difference to the male foreplay? Anja? Well?

Better, so far.

And now, kiss her Erogenous Zone Number 6. EZ6!

- Where? - Her breast!

Stop laughing! I you don't comply, I'll throw you out, got it?

It hurt. Maybe I'm not made for lesbian love after all.

You're not supposed to turn lesbian, you goose! It's for scientific purposes!

Try it again!

Mr. Wald, please excuse me, I ...

I'm working here! Won't you get that already?

Your sister. She says its urgent.

What insolence!

Don't mind me.

This won't work. This won't work!

Calm down, Oskar. What are you working on?

"The Liberation of Women Through Same-sex Love"?

Go away! Go away!

Well, Oskar ...

What's next, maestro?

- Well, Oskar? - Back to work!

On top of each other!

Kiss!

No! EZ7! EZ7! EZ7!

- What now? - On the hips. EZ7 on the hips!

EZ9! On the ass!

On the ass!

Bessie! Bessie! I want out! I want out of here!

I heard a lot about you. Your theory of adultery.

I want to test all of this in real life.

I want out of here!

Good luck with that.

Show it to me, Oskar!

Let me out, right now! Bessie! Bessie!

- Maybe she'll succeed after all? - No one succeeds with him.

No! Go away!

Could you move over? Won't take long.

We'd love to.

I'm not like the others. You'll see.

- I bet 100 Marks on her success. - Accepted.

To be honest, I imagined a Master of Sex to be more active.

- 200 Marks on her success. - 200. All right.

Everybody makes mistakes.

What's going on? Get it on!

No use.

He is ... Nothing going on down there ... a total bust!

- Do you mean he's ... - A desert.

But he is ...

The sex education stuff is based on our performances here.

He's a good observer.

Why do you have the hots for him?

Are there any men left who ...

If I want to scratch my itch I take the subway.

They have enormous blue balls. The guys working there.

Like crazy, five times in a row.

Without batting an eye. If that's your thing, great.

Should we continue?

I envy you.

You're a beast!

Where is he?

Where's Georg?

I need Georg!

- Where is he? - Well taken care of.

- Where? - Georg ... Is this all that matters?

Right now, yes it is. Where is he?

Just another one of his tricks.

He's an extremist of love.

Here are ... his pants!

- Where is he? - Gone!

In his briefs?

I love briefs.

He won't get far in this state.

He wanted to get cigarettes. You need to see him instantly?

Pretty much, yes. He owes me 1000 Marks.

They probably jailed him by now because of public indecency.

Public indecency? Sounds great!

You're not my type.

Maybe he's in my suitcase?

Well, let's take a look!

Look, the two of us, that just won't work out.

Who's to say.

Let go of me. What do you want from me anyway?

Solace.

Do you remember the guy I was in the restaurant with yesterday?

His name is Georg.

- He's gone. - So what. What do I care?

He owes me 1000 Marks. You didn't see him, incidentally?

Why me?

He told me, though. At the Venezia.

But I don't know a thing.

His pants.

His briefs.

His shoes.

Obviously, he went out in socks and a shirt.

What do you have to say?

You two picked him up at the Venezia, didn't you?

You and your girlfriend.

She had the same suitcase you have.

- But I really don't ... - That's what they told me, though.

And when I came here earlier, some broad was roaming this room. With a suitcase.

Strange, don't you think?

What's your plan?

Who do you mean?

- You and your girlfriends. - I don't have girlfriends.

And you also don't know where Georg is?

No.

I have to go the other way. Won't you join me? Come!

I discovered a great construction site.

Disruption of the autonomic nervous system.

Look at that. Those idiots really tolerate everything.

Noise, filth. They'd kill themselves before they'd complain.

They should get paid. Poor fools.

Look at that, this one is vacant.

Got to complain, not look out of the window.

I think up there is a vacancy!

Lot of noise.

Eh, one gets used to it.

Not me.

- I take the room. - Indeed?

Lady visitors until 10 pm.

Please meet my sister.

Young lad, I wasn't born yesterday.

- Do you have a typewriter? - For an extra 15 bucks.

Listen, and listen well. Let me speak to the mayor immediately.

I want the mayor, not ... not some slave.

I don't care. Hurry!

Yes? I live in Leopold Street. Listen to this mess!

I'll kill myself! I'll kill myself! [Scream]

And my windows are closed!

I didn't get a minute of sleep in the last two weeks.

Working is impossible, too. Stop this! And fast, please!

There's a compensation fund for victims of construction site noise.

I don't believe my ears? What would you say if this would be your place?

I'll present you a doctor's note if this doesn't stop. Got it?

Alright.

"Addressed to the building authority."

"Regarding noise injuries

in the Leopold Street."

One has to make ends meet somehow.

The compensation recoups Georg's failure.

And now ...

Well then ...

I'm going.

I'm staying.

No.

Hey, Atlantis! Atlantis!

Is it true what Bakada says? Not a single one yet?

So what!

I'm through. Bakada brought me the last one.

I think you know him. His name is Georg.

- You did ... - The last one. And the best one.

- I think it's disgusting. - You really lost it.

So Bakada wasn't exaggerating.

It's your decision in the end.

- I'll take a look around. Wanna join? - Why not.

I know where Georg is.

And what's your name, by the way?

A girlfriend of mine made him tiny.

We all get tinier. I already wrote him off. So he made a getaway?

He's in Ferrara's suitcase. Don't you get it?

When we sleep with a guy, he becomes this small.

Should we give it a try, then?

We'll take them with us down there. For reproduction.

At our place, only girls are being born.

Lucky Georg. He'll wear himself out.

200 men for 2 million women.

- As long as all of them look like you. - We never won't be able to make love.

And you?

I've been a complete failure.

This I can't believe.

Might this really be true?

I guess you're leading me on. Don't you?

Our land sank 300.000 years ago. Like Atlantis.

And where did your girlfriend go to with Georg?

No idea. If they'll find out I told you everything, they'll kill me.

They wouldn't ...

I thought so.

So let's assume you tell the truth.

Are you sure the shrinking mechanism works with you?

And there's no way to avoid it?

But I like you. Very much.

- Admit that you're leading me on. - I wish.

You really put me on the spot. Let's leave.

You're tricky indeed.

I don't sleep with just anybody.

Admit you're lying.

I won't leave you.

We have to distract ourselves.

No girl will wear me down.

Thank you for the information.

Do you believe me now?

I guess I have to. Terrible thought.

You're life-threatening!

Come!

Don't be afraid.

I can control myself.

I'm not at all interested in becoming a sex slave at your place. Come!

Raoul, please!

You know what would happen.

Nothing! Nothing!

Nothing!

Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!

- You did a great job! - Atlantis is missing.

- Maybe she's with the others. - She's in the city, in love with a man.

I saw her. Her suitcase is empty. Bakada told me so.

- In love? - He won't shrink.

Atlantis failed. We need to bring our adventure to a successful conclusion.

Each of you will grab two more men. Hurry!

Karon! Karon!

At first I thought she wanted to make him tiny.

They slept together. But nothing happened.

That's something you wouldn't know. Love suspends the shrinking mechanism.

- And if they really are in love? - He knows about us!

We have to do something now!

BAVARIAN GOVERNMENT, BUILDING DEPARTMENT

I have to lend additional support to my claim of noise injury.

- I have enough money. - It's not just about money.

One needs to harm those guys in any way possible.

Well ... I won't be long.

- Come with us! - Let me go!

- Let me go, I don't want to go back! - Come!

Let go of me!

- What did you do to her? - We? Nothing! She went back.

She says hallo.

She loves you. But she didn't want to jeopardize our venture.

- Lies! - Who could've forced her back?

Nice story you told me.

I don't want to argue with you.

- Where is she? - Should I deliver a message?

Where is she? I want to see her.

Only one way to do that.

Please! ... I beg you!

- Let me go! - Go then. You're too late anyway.

The only possibility to see her again? As a sex slave? This tiny?

No thanks.

You'll be enlarged down there.

Good to know.

Decide now. I have to go back.

- This is all I can do for you two. - Lies!

Doesn't matter if I'm lying. You got no choice! Come on!

Hey babe!

That's the way to do it. Loser!

Come on! We have to hurry.

There's daddy! Daddy, daddy!

Daddy, daddy, can I have ice-cream?

Say, what do you do here?

Daddy, I'm thirsty.

- You didn't buy her something? - I had no money.

Are you still mad at me? Did you go into the water?

It's too cold here.

- What did you do then? - Took a walk.

Daddy, some bug bit me, we need to get some ointment.

- Was it bad? - Not at all. Shall we go?

- Daddy, can I have chewing gum? - Whatever you want.

And a popsicle?

- Do I get the doll's dress today? - Yes.

- What's the matter? - Do you still love me?

Well, I do.

No smooching! You promised me something, don't forget!

Rascal, you!

Ice-cream, a beverage, a popsicle, a doll's dress and for you not to argue.

Tomorrow the new Donald Duck issue will come out. Will you get it for me?