All language subtitles for 2-15

So, I'm happy to be here.

It's very nice
to see all of you.

You're all looking well.

Today is a "women
in the workplace" thing.

Jan's coming in from corporate
to talk to all the women about...

I don't really know what.

But Michael's not allowed in.
She said that about five times.

Women today, though we
have the same options as men,

we often face a very
different set of obstacles

In getting there. So...

Hey, what's going on? Michael...

Yeah, you know what? I thought
we agreed you wouldn't be here.

I thought about it. I just have
a few things I want to say.

What are you doing?
Just hear me out.

What is more important
than quality?

Equality.

Now, studies show that today's woman,
the ally mcbeal woman, as I call her,

is at a crossroads.

Michael... and... no, just...

You have come a long way, baby.

But I just want to keep it
within reason. Jan: Michael.

They did this up in Albany... you
are not allowed in this session, okay?

And they ended up turning

the break room into a lactation
room, which is disgusting.

Now you're really not
allowed in this session.

Well, I'm their boss.
I am your boss.

Anybody want any coffee or
anything? We're fine, Michael.

We just need you to leave,
please.

Michael: Women in the workplace.

Yeah. Translation, I have been
banned from my own conference room

so that jan can talk in
secret to all the girls.

Whoa, sorry.
Women of the workplace.

About what? I don't know.

Clothes. Me.

Ladies, I am so, so sorry.

Can we start again?
We were on such a roll.

I really apologize... jan?

For that. Yes, Pam?

Michael's still at
the door. Michael!

Jan: So, one obstacle

is how assertiveness is perceived
differently in men and women.

Men who are assertive tend
to be admired. They're called...

Anyone?

That's a terrible idea.

Jim: What is?

Them in there all together.

They stay in there too long,
they're gonna get on the same cycle.

Wreak havoc on our plumbing.

Everyone? Guys?
Circle up, please.

Come on over. Bring your chairs.

Toby? Come on over.

You're a guy, too. Sort of.

Michael: Let's do this!

Well, first of all, I just want to
warm up a little bit. Let's just clap.

Let's just clap. Ready?

Yeah! Yeah!
That's what I'm talking about!

Okay, I don't know what you're
doing here, Michael...

Just having a little
"guys in the workplace" thing.

But it's very disruptive.
Why can't boys play with dolls?

Why does society

force us to use urinals,

when sitting down
is far more comfortable?

Can you please do this
somewhere else, Michael?

We have nowhere else, jan.

This... we could do
it in the warehouse.

Dwight. Excellent idea.
Go to the warehouse.

Okay, fine.
Actually, perfect. Perfect.

You know what? There is another
side to this place, gentlemen.

And I know we all love our
cushyjobs and our fun, exciting office,

but do you realize
that underneath us,

there's another world?

The warehouse world.

A world that is teeming with
sweat and dirt and life.

Life.

The bowels of the office.

Michael: These guys are down there,
they are real men, doing real men's work.

We are going to learn
how a warehouse works.

I think
this is gonna work out great.

Because managing the warehouse
is a very important part of my job,

and I haven't been there
in months.

Remember on lost
when they met the others?

I am so sorry about that.

So, where were we? Pam,
are you okay taking notes, then?

Please? Yeah.

Thank you very much.

So, let's meet the warehouse!

Let's get some shots.

Pan around there.

This is Darryl.
One of our warehouse staff.

Darryl,
what is your biggest fear?

My biggest fear is that
someone will distract us

from getting all the shipments
out on time. You know what?

Darryl is actually the foreman
here, and not Roy, which is cool.

There's Roy, riding the big rig.

So, Roy is actually going to be
marrying Pam sometime this summer.

And she's our receptionist.

Sort of a "Brangelina" thing.

"Brangelina" is the Brad Pitt
and Angelina. I don't understand.

Roy... Roy and Pam.
Wsa"ramfi it's a "ram" thing.

I bet Roy heard about you
liking Pam.

I bet he'll try to beat you up.

Thanks for the heads up, kev.

I got your back, if he does.

But try to stay out of it.

Just in case there's somebody
down here who shouldn't be.

A little good will hunting
situation.

All right. Troops.

This is an important day,
a big day.

Now, you may look around

and see two groups here.

White collar, blue collar.

But I don't see it that way.
And you know why not?

Because I am collar-blind.

Why don't we go around the table and all
say something that we know we're good at?

I will start.
I am good at public speaking.

Hi. I'm Meredith, and I'm an...

Good at supplier relations.

Jan: Great! Phyllis?

I'm good at computer stuff.

E-mails, spreadsheets. All that.

Really?

I don't know. I thought that...

Jan: No. Okay. Stop.

Phyllis: You know, I've seen
some of your spreadsheets,

and I almost always... really?
I thought they were pretty...

I don't know how
I fit in with these women

here, or with jan.

I mean, we get along great.
Fine.

I guess the person I have
the most in common with is...

Jim Halpert!

Hey, I, you know,

heard there's a rumor going around about
you used to have a crush on Pam and...

Oh, no, no. No, nojtscool

'cause I know you're a good guy,

and I know that that crush
ended a long time ago.

So, you know, we're cool.
All right?

Yeah. No, yeah. Definitely.

You know, it's great with me.
'Cause that way...

I'm glad she has a friend at work
she can get through the day with.

And then she's not all
"bap, bap, bap, bapfl oh.

You know, when she gets home.
Yeah. I like talking to her, too.

So, we're cool, right?
Yes. Yeah.

Yup. Cool, man.
Good. All right. Sweet.

Hey, Mike, look.
How about we go upstairs, too?

You know, learn how
an office works. Oh, well.

We can both switch places
for the day. Okay. Yeah.

You know what? I don't...
You... your...

My job sucks compared to this.

I don't think you'd like it
up there. An experience...

Guys! Want to start
unloading the truck?

Okay. Let's go.

Step up.

Check this out.

Look at that. Look at that.

Hello, how are... okay.

That's great.
That is good stuff.

In five years, I'd like
to be five years sober.

That is an excellent goal.

Four and a half.

I'll tell you one thing.

I am not gonna be one of those women
schlepping her kids around in a minivan.

Jan: Great.

I want an SUV
with three rows of seats.

Woman: That would be great.

I'll be honest.

One of the goals of these women's seminars
is to feel out if there's any standouts,

women who could be a valuable
addition to our corporate life.

Michael wants us to bond, so
we need topics for conversation.

Ponies.

How about rainbows?

Flowers. No!

That's dangerous, Mike.
Come on, get down off the lift.

Hey, you're gonna
hurt yourself. Mike!

Stand clear. Mike, get
off of the lift. Please!

Come on, now. I'm
fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

Look, would you... look_.

We'll get somebody
to clean that up.

We're the ones
that gotta clean that up!

Damn it, Michael!

Michael: We have
to have this thing serviced.

So, guys' gripe session.

Here we are.

Now, we definitely live
in different worlds,

but we have a lot in common.

We even like the same girls,
some of us.

And that's gonna happen.
You know, we're guys, so...

Hey, do you want me to go?

No, why would I? You can...

I'll go... stay, or...

And a big walk-in closet.

Oh, that's part of my dream,
too. Kelly: Oh, me, too.

Great. Great.

And, Pam? What about you?
What is your dream?

Well, I always dreamed of a
house with a terrace upstairs.

Plant flowers on it, stuff
like that. Since I was a girl.

More seriously, though,

a husband that I love.

Roy.

And I love to draw.

And I did a little in college,
and I'd still love to do something

where I could work with art
or graphic design in some way.

She's real good. Thanks.

You know, the company is offering a
design training program in New York.

Well, I have a job right now.

So, I can't really take time
off. Well, it's only on weekends.

And then a few weeks
in New York,

but I'm sure that I could ask
corporate to help you out.

Well, it's just that the
weekends aren't good because...

There are always a million
reasons not to do something.

Let's start with the warehouse.

What bothers you as guys?
You know?

My priority is safety.

Okay.

So it really bothers me when somebody
comes in here, speeding around on the lift,

playing with it like a toy.
It kind of gets under my skin.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Don't shush me.

No, that was just...
That bothers me, too.

I was breathing. Pam
shushes me. It drives me crazy.

I hate shushing.
You know, that's the thing.

What... okay. What is
our beef, as human men?

You know, that's
a good question, Hasselhoff.

Okay. All right.
Lonny: What bugs us?

Good.
Guys ragging on each other.

That's what guys do,
and we love it.

All right.
Let's talk about clothing.

I'm excited about today.
I love girl talk.

Dress for the job you want,
not the job you have.

All right, you can use your clothing to
send a message about your ambitions

by wearing clothes that
reflect what you aspire to be.

I'm not gaining anything
from this seminar.

I'm a professional woman,

the head of accounting.

I'm in the healthiest
relationship of my life.

I just think it's insulting
that jan thinks we need this.

And apparently,
judging from her outfit,

jan aspires to be a whore.

I hate it when girls insist on
taking them out to new restaurants

every weekend night,

and then they're like, "when
are we gonna go on a date-date?"

I hate that, too!
I hate that, too!

That sucks so hard.
It totally sucks!

Yeah, and then they make you
drive them to church the next morning.

Like, gas ain't free.

Yeah, on our salaries, man.
What do they expect?

You know, "take us out every
weekend," you know what I mean?

Michael: I feel you, man.
We're not millionaires.

Ifeelyou. No,
youdont youdontfeelus

how can you? You know what?
Not literally.

You say we're the same,

but we get compensated
very differently. Yes.

We work the same hours as you,
and you just said we work a lot harder.

You do. So...
But we get paid a lot less.

Word.

Like, next to no benefits.
Michael: I know.

God, what is that? Exactly.

It blows. It blows, man!

You know, this would not
happen if we had a union.

That's what I'm talking about.

Absolutely, that's what
we need to do. You're right.

See, that's what I've been
saying, man.

We need to do this, finally.

You know what,
is that necessary?

'Cause you already, sort of,
have a union of guys.

It's more than necessary,
Mike. We need this.

Roy? Yeah?

Do you still have that card
from the dockworkers' union?

Dockworkers? In my truck.

Come on, man. Yeah.

Michael: You know what? I
think our problem is the chicks.

The problem is the chicks.
Union! Yeah!

And you gotta blame them.

Are you with us, Mike? Yeah...

Welcome to the warehouse.

Michael! Michael!
Michael! Michael!

Another issue is inequality
of pay between men and women.

I'm sure that
all of you have dealt with that before.

This is important.
Ladies, take a breather.

Jan, I

wanted...

Can I help you?

I wanted to say that the guys downstairs
are thinking about forming a union,

and they have some good
points. What? A union?

Don't get hysterical. I'm not.

Part of my job is knowing
how to talk to women.

Let's be rational here.

What are the pros?
What are the cons?

The cons are that everyone will
lose their job, Michael. Everyone.

Office, warehouse...

What do you think
the pros are here?

Don't talk to me that way,
please. Just...

They're gonna want
to hear this from you.

You got yourself into this,
Michael, so...

We're bonding down there... you
get yourself out of it. That's too bad.

I just don't want to have to tell them
something they're not gonna want to hear.

Now who's getting hysterical?
Okay. Come on, jan.

After all we've been
through... Michael, Michael...

We have a history.
We have a history between us.

Michael. Don't say another word.

Get yourself downstairs.

I'm just saying that we have
something. Okay. Whatever.

You know what?

We could get this done a lot quicker
if we formed a type of assembly line.

This here is a "run
out the clock" situation.

Just like upstairs.

Sports metaphors
are one of the ways

women feel left out
of the language of the office.

Now, I know this might sound silly,
but many women ask to go over it, so,

"fumble" means...

Mistake. Slip.

Right.

"Par for the course" is a
golfterm. It means "right on track."

"Below par" means "worse."

Wait. That should mean better.
That doesn't make sense.

What about "second base"?

Like, if Michael said he
got to second base with you,

does that mean you, like,
closed a deal? Excuse me?

I mean,
that's a baseball term, right?

I don't know what Michael
was talking about. I don't know.

Kelly: Like, you went to chili's,
and he got to second base with you.

Excuse me.

Kelly, I don't know what
Michael was talking about.

He just told everybody, and
I just want to know if that's...

Hey. Hey.

How's it going down there?

It's a complete... well, actually,
it's exactly what you'd expect, so...

How are the girls? Good.

We watched a video
about our changing bodies.

Did you really? No.

Almost.

But, hey,
something kind of cool,

there's this internship in graphic
design that jan was telling us about.

She made it sound, like,
really great.

Nice! Well, what's it all
about? I think you should do it.

That's great! It's really cool.

Cold front
coming into the warehouse!

Better put on your ski boots!

Happy new year, Darryl.

Hey, Darryl.

You ever done this?

Are you married?

I'm divorced.

That must have been hard.

It was, yes.

You were probably feeling
really depressed and sad,

and that's why you did that
thing with Michael.

I think you should all spend a little
more time thinking about your careers,

and less time on personal stuff.

I think we're all okay
with the balance we've struck.

Angela: At least
you don't have kids.

You have no kids, right?
Thank god.

Okay. Let's take five.
I think we could all use five.

How can someone
so beautiful be so sad?

Did you take care
of the situation?

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I have...

Excuserne.excuserne.
._essenfiahy, yes, ihavetaken_.

I'm told that there has been
some interest in forming a union,

and that Michael supported it.

Obviously,
he's not a friend of yours,

because he didn't tell you the
facts. So, let me.

If there is even a whiff
of unionizing in this branch,

I can guarantee you the
branch will be shut down like that.

They unionized in pittsfield, and we
all know what happened in pittsfield.

It will cost each of you a fortune
in legal fees and union dues,

and that will be nothing compared
to the cost of losing yourjobs.

So I would think long and hard before
sacrificing your savings and your futures

just to send a message.

If you have any further
questions, you can direct them to...

To Michael.

Pam: Dreams are just that. They're
dreams. They help get you through the day.

Like the thing about the
terrace. It's nice,

but, I don't know,

itwasjust something I read
in this book when I was 12.

The girl in the book has a
terrace outside of her bedroom,

and she planted flowers on it,

and I just loved that.

It just always kind of
stuck with me.

So, you're not doing it.

How did you know?

Why not?

It's just, like...
No big reason.

Just a bunch
oflnflereasons. Come on.

Roy's right. There's no guarantee
it's gonna lead to anything, anyway.

Roy said that?

What? You have something
you want to say?

You gotta take a chance on
something, sometime, Pam.

I mean, do you want to be
a receptionist here, always?

Oh, excuse me,
I'm fine with my choices.

You are?

Yeah.

It's impractical.

I'm not gonna try
to get a house like that.

They don't even make houses
like that in Scranton.

So, I'm never gonna...

I'm just gonna put this
over there.

This is not a good idea,
right here.

Easy does it. Okay.

Pizza. Great equalizer.

Rich people love pizza.
Poor people love pizza.

White people love pizza.
Black people love pizza.

Do black people like pizza?

Hey.

Look, guys, I'm sorry.

Sometimes jan
can be such a bitch.

Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, watch it. Watch it.

We have a relationship.

Thank you to our hosts.

Darryl: Hey, Michael!

This ain't over.

Excehent

is it good to be back? Yeah.
I mean, I love the guy stuff,

but to run an office,
you need men and women.

You know why?

Because you need to have
that crazy sexual tension

to keep things interesting.

Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

Hold, please.

Snow angels. Snow angels.