All language subtitles for 2-12

Well, lords of the ring
trilogy, if you see it back to back,

yeah... it's really
long, but it's good.

Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

Pam, it's Michael. Help me.

I need help right now!
Michael, what's wrong?

I'm hurt. I have hurt myself.

On, my god!
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Oh, this is not
looking good, Pam.

Michael, do you need me
to call an ambulance?

No! I want you to pick me up.

Okay. What's going on?

Wait a sec. I thought you
said that you were hurt.

I am hurt. I hurt my foot. I'm
sorry. Pam, what is going on?

I want to come to work, but I
need you to come and pick me up.

Oh, god! Hey, whoa, Michael.

Oh, god! It's... okay. It's Jim.

Just say again really loudly
what happened.

Okay, iburned my foot
very badly on my foreman grill

and I now need someone to come
and bring me in to work.

You burned your foot
on a foreman grill?

I enjoy having breakfast in bed.

I like waking up
to the smell of bacon. Sue me.

And since I don't have a
Butler, I have to do it myself.

So, most nights
before I go to bed,

iwill lay six strips of bacon
out on my George foreman grill.

Then go to sleep. When
lwake up, I plug in the grill.

I go back to sleep again.

Then I wake up to the smell
of crackling bacon.

It is delicious.
It's good for me.

It's a perfect way
to start the day.

Today, I got up, I stepped onto the
grill, and it clamped down on my foot.

That's it. I don't see what's
so hard to believe about that.

Michael: Pam,
could you come get me?

I have to stay
here and answer the phone.

Okay, could someone
come and get me, please? Ryan?

Michael, you should stay home
and rest. There's no toilet paper here.

Could Ryan... tell
Ryan to bring toilet paper.

Could you tell him that?

Can you hop?
I tried hopping, Kevin,

and I bumped my elbow
against the wall,

and now my elbow
has a protuberance.

No one wants to pick me up?

Dwight: What is going on?

What is going on?

Michael is sick and he wants
one of us to rescue him.

I'm not sick! I'm...
I'm coming, Michael!

I'm gonna save you!

Don't! Is that Dwight?
I do not want Dwight.

Okay! Hold on, Michael,
I am coming! Wait there!

I don't want Dwight!

Michael, why don't you call
your girlfriend?

I don't have a girlfriend.

But you said you went out
with her this weekend.

That was all made up.
Just someone come, okay?

Anyone. Anyone, but Dwight.

What was that? What was that?

Jim: He hit the pole.

It's broken, right?
Hecant_ oh, my gosh.

Oh, Dwight. Dwight.

Oh, my god.
Oh, my gosh. Is he okay?

He's still driving.

Jim: Dwight, you forgot
your bumper.

Michael: Hello?
Please don't send Dwight.

Morning, everyone.

Don't freak out.
I forbid anybody to freak out.

Clearly, I have had a very
serious accident, but I will recover.

God willing.

I just want to be treated
normally today.

Normal would actually be good, considering
the trauma that I've been through.

You missed two big conference
calls today, one with corporate.

Oh, did you explain why?

No, I didn't mention
that you cooked your foot.

Burned my foot, Pam.

Please stop popping my cast.

Thank you.

So where are you shipping
your foot?

So, where are you shipping...

Your foot.

Michael: Thank you.

Pam, messages, please.

You didn't have any.

Really? Well, it seemed
very important to you earlier

that you needed to
stay and... do my job?

No. Your job
is being my friend, Pam.

Itshpped. God!

What... sorry.

It's just that before, you said you
didn't want any special treatment.

I don't want
any special treatment, Pam.

I just want you to treat me
like you would a family member

who's undergone some sort of
serious physical trauma.

I don't think
that's too much to ask.

Do you want some aspirin?
Because you seem a little fussy.

No, I don't want some aspirin.
Yeah, I am fussy.

Aspirin's not gonna
do a damn thing.

I'm sitting here
with a bloody stump of a foot.

Pam, I am assistant regional
manager and I can take care of him.

Part of my duties are to...

What? Part of your
duties are to what? What?

You just said that part of
your duties are to... something.

No, I didn't. Yes, you did.
What is wrong with you?

What is wrong with you?

Where is my corn bread?
Here you go.

Thank you. Did you get
all dark meat like I like?

Yes, I ordered three full rotisserie
chickens worth of all dark meat.

Where are the yams?
They were out of yams.

I got you creamed spinach.

Did you go to the one
in stroudsburg? Yes.

And they had no yams?
They had no yams.

How strange.
Because they always have yams.

Oh, man, is that
a prism durosport?

Yodveseen one of these? Yeah.

They're like an iPod,
only they're better,

because they're chunkier
and more solid.

Roy gave it to me for Christmas.

I'm trying to figure out
how to put songs on it.

Oh, no, no. Don't go there.

I know this Russian website where you
can download songs for two cents apiece.

Really? Yeah, I'll write
down the address for you.

Only, the only thing is, is that
all the songs are in Russian.

Kidding.

Why would they all be...

Okay, see you later, pan.

Pan?

Pam. Pam?

Oh, god.

What? Come here, please.

Tell me before I come there.

I want you to rub
butter on my foot. No.

Pam, please?
I have country crock.

Ryan! Ryan!

Ryan!

These covers
are totally indestructible.

Yeah. Really?

Throw it. I promise
it won't break.

Chuck it.

Oh, no. It's broken. What?

No, it's fine.
I told you it wouldn't break.

You could throw it all
daylong. That is so cool.

Thanks, Dwight. You're welcome.

So, I guess Pam and Dwight
are friends now.

Oh, god, no.
Dwight isn't my friend.

Oh, my god.
Dwight's kind of my friend.

No, no. No one is helping me
out at all, mom.

No, I'm not gonna call jan.

She'd just worry, drive down
here and make a big thing.

Who told you that?

No, it was mutual.

What is Pam doing
chatting with you?

You like candy?

It's all right.

'Cause you're sweeter than
candy. What is wrong with you?

Wow, you just dive right in.

You know, around age 12, I
just started going for it, you know.

Michael: Help!

Oh, god! Oh, help!

Help me.

What happened?
Lfell off the toilet.

I'm caught between
the toilet and the wall.

What do you need? Not you.

Someone else. Get Pam.

I don't think Pam's gonna
wanna come in to the men's room.

Get Ryan. He needs to lift me, and
he needs to clean me up a little bit.

Bring a wet towel.

Ryan is dead.

Dead. No, he's not.

I just saw him.

Can you just get up yourself?
You only grilled your foot.

Forget it. I'll just
get up myself.

Help!

Oh, god!

Do you think Dwight's being
a little weird today?

No. He's actually been
really nice and helpful.

And that isn't weird?

Well...

Can I have everyone's
attention, please?

Phyllis. Oscar. Ryan,
who is supposed to be dead.

Can I ask you all a question?

Do you know what it's like
to be disabled? Oscar?

I had scoliosis as a girl.

Never heard of it. No, a real
disability, not a woman's trouble.

When I was a teenager,
I was in an iron lung.

How old are you? No, it...

Look, the point is,

I am the only one here who has
a legitimate disability.

Although I'm sure Stanley has
had his fair share of obstacles.

Okay. I'm not disabled,
and neither are you.

What does this look like
to you, Stanley?

Mail boxes etc.

Shut it. Okay.

Well. Well, you know what?

Disabilities are not things
to be laughed at

or laughed about.
You people are jerks.

Imagine if you had
left Stevie wonder

on the floor of that bathroom
instead of me.

Oh, we wouldn't.
We love Stevie wonder.

I burned my foot!

Okay, 20 minutes, conference
room, everybody's in there!

While we are waiting for
our special guest to arrive,

I wanted you all to take a look

at a few of the many,
many disabled icons

who have contributed so much
to our society.

Yeah. Jim: Quick question.

Why is Tom Hanks
on the wall? Twice.

Good question. Forrest
gump, mentally challenged.

Philadelphia, aids.

I think that's from big.

I don't think so. No.

Yeah, he's dancing on a piano
with Robert loggia.

He grew into a man overnight,
rare disability. Still works.

A crossword puzzle, Stanley?
Seriously, are you learning nothing here?

Mmm-hmm.

What do you mean, "mmm-hmm"?

I mean I'm learning
nothing. Okay.

Michael Scott.
I'm looking for Michael Scott.

Good. Yes. Right in here.

Come on in. Great.

This, ladies and gentlemen,
is our special guest.

Sorry I'm late. Somebody parked
in the handicapped parking space.

Hey, everyone,
I'm Billy merchant.

You may have seen me
around here before.

I'm the properties manager
of this office park.

You are so brave.

You are so brave. Thank you.

Actually, I've been meaning to
come by here for a long time...

But it's hard for you, right?
Because you're in a wheelchair.

No, I just have a lot
of properties to manage.

Let me ask you something.

How long does it take for you to
do something simple every day?

Like brush your teeth
in the morning.

I don't know, like 30
seconds. Oh, my god.

That's three times
as long as it takes me.

How did you get in your
wheelchair? This morning?

Just like every other morning,
just climbed on in.

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Not funny.
Not funny. Hey, hey, relax.

Justjoking around here.
Well, that's good.

He still has a sense of humor.

Listen, I've actually used a
chair since I was four years old.

I don't really notice it anymore.
Well, they do. They notice it, don't you?

You notice it. It's the first thing you
saw when he rolled in here, isn't it?

I wanna clamp Michael's face
in a George foreman grill.

So, there were just a couple things
I wanted to remind everybody of.

Okay. First is parking.

You can't block the freight
entrance with your car

even if your blinkers are on.

Does anybody have any questions?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yes.

Dwight, you have your hand up.

Ignore him. You know what?
We're not that different, you and I.

When I clamped my foot
into a non-stick grill...

You know what, Michael? Yeah.

Okay. Let me
stop you right there.

And leave.

Did you see
born on the fourth of July?

I was under the impression that
Billy would be more like that guy.

What's wrong with that guy?
You mean today?

He stepped on a George
foreman grill and he burned his foot.

No, not Michael. The moon-faced
kid who crashed into the pole.

He looks like
he has a concussion.

Hey.

I found the pudding cups you
wanted at a gas station in carbondale!

You did it. Look at you. And
with the plate and the napkin.

Very nice. Thank you,
Ryan. You are very welcome.

Did you get the yams?

No, the gas station in carbondale
did not have fresh yams.

Oh, okay. I'll just have
the pudding. You sure?

Yeah. Okay.

You know what? I feel better.

Ryan brought me
some chocolate pudding

and his kindness healed my foot.

Yeah, baby! I am feeling better.

My body's literally
healing itself.

It is amazing what the
human body is capable of

when you have a powerful brain.

Ryan: Iground up
four extra-strength aspirin

and put them
in Michael's pudding.

I do the same thing with my dog to
get him to take his heartworm medicine.

Oh, finally feel the blood
coursing through my foot veins.

Okay, I think we need
to take him to the hospital...

Dwight: No, no, no.

'Cause I'm pretty sure
he has a concussion.

Oh, now you feel
some compassion for him.

He needs to go right now, and
you're his emergency contact.

I think you should go with
him. Why don't you go with him?

I barely know him.
I want Michael to take me.

I can't take you. I don't have
my car, and yours is all vomitty.

You can take my Van.

Oh, okay. That's great. No, I can't
drive. Jim, why don't you drive?

Hne.
eflgo. Hnsfih
recovenng, soletsjust_

Ryan, can you get my
coat, please? Slowly, slowly.

Okay, let's just get
to the elevator.

What are you doing?

Vietnam sounds. Stop
it. Stop, stop, stop, stop.

Tired.
Dwight, you can't lay down.

Let's take a break. Wake up.

Wait, here, let
me help you, Dwight. Come on.

Okay, Pam. Thanks.
Get up. Get up.

You're the best.
Jim: Just keep him awake.

It smells like
chicken soup. I know.

I have to go to the
hospital. I know.

Where are we going? I just
wanna say goodbye, okay?

Well, I'll be back, I mean...

Yes, I know, but it's
gonna be different. Why?

It's just hard to explain.

Oh, Pam, you're adorable.
Oh, my goodness.

Come here. Huggy-hugs.

Shotgun!

You don't think you should
sit in the back with Dwight?

The rules of shotgun are
very simple and very clear.

The first person to shout "shotgun"
when you're within the sight of the car

gets the front seat.
That's how the game is played.

There are no exceptions
for someone with a concussion.

Oh, god, a minivan.
What is Meredith's problem?

Well, I think she has a kid. Yeah,
she has one kid and no husband.

She's not gonna find one
driving this thing around.

Where are we going?
Come on, get inside.

Where are we going? We're
going to Chuck E. Cheese.

Chuck E. Cheese? Oh, god,
I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.

We're going to the hospital,
Michael.

I know. I'm just saying.

Dwight, what are you drinking?
I found it under the seat.

Oh, my god. Dwight,
put that down. I'm thirsty.

Give the bottle to Michael. No!

Give the bottle to Michael. No!

Give it to me, Dwight. Just
keep your eyes on the road.

Give me the bottle or
you're fired! You can't fire me.

I don't work in this Van.
Give it to me, Dwight.

Give me the bottle! No.

Will you stop?
Give me the bottle, Dwight!

Michael, stop! Just give it.

Michael, stop! Stop. Stop it!

Stop spraying me!
Give me the bottle!

Stop spraying me! My eyesi

give me the bottle!

Dwight, what is your
middle name? Dangeh

something with a "k." It's Kurt.

Wow, I'm so sad
that I know that.

What do I write under
"reason for visit"?

Concussion.

Jim: What did you write?
Nothing.

I wrote, "bringing someone
to the hospital."

So you thought they meant your
reason for coming to the hospital?

No, no. You know what, Jim?
This isn't about me anymore.

I made a miraculous recovery,
which is more than I can say for him.

Come on, Dwight.

Hi, Michael. Hi, Dwight.

Doctor, what is more serious,
a head injury or a foot injury?

A head injury. Well, you
don't have all the information.

The foot has been fairly severely
burned, and healed quickly, very quickly.

Actually, like, suspiciously
quickly. So I'm ordering a cat scan.

Dwight: What is that?

Look, since you have
the machine up and running,

can I just stick my foot in?
We can take a look.

Well, for a burn, you really just
need to look at the outside of the foot.

Okay, what kind
of machine is that?

Does the skin look
red and swollen?

That's what she said. That's
myjoke. Damn it, Dwight.

Okay, no electronics past this
point. Camera, sound equipment...

It's okay, they're with me.
No metal of any kind.

All right, well, I guess this
is where we leave you off.

I don't wanna do this.

You should have thought of
that before you crashed your head

on your way to pick me up. So,
we'll see you when you get out.

Fine. Fine.

Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
Dunder Mifflin, this is Jim.

Oh, my god. What's going on?
Is Dwight okay?

He should be fine, but they
brought him in for a ca t scan.

I can't believe
he's getting a cat scan.

Michael went in there with
him, too. It's pretty sweet.

Mmm-hmm. Really?
Michael went in with him?

Wow. But they shouldn't
be much longer now.

So we'll be back soon.
Okay, that's good news.

Yeah, no, I'll let you go.

Okay. Okay.

Bye.

Hey, Oscar. What's up, Pam?

I just wanted to let you know
that Dwight's gonna be okay.

The doctor said there's a really
simple treatment for a concussion.

So he'll probably even be
back at work tomorrow.

Okay. I just thought
you'd wanna know that.

Okay, Mr. Schrute, inhale
with me on three. One, two...

Sir! Stop that. Stop.

Stop that.