Original subtitles

[Sam] Sometimes it's hard to know the difference between science and magic.

Like Fata Morgana.

Fata Morgana is an optical illusion where objects in the distance

appear to be hovering over the surface of the water.

There's a scientific explanation for it…

[phone chimes]

…but to most people,

it just looks like magic.

I know it's late. [sighs]

It's okay.

[door closes]

That wasn't fair, what you did.

Breaking up with me like that, that wasn't fair.

I mean, if you break up with me because you're not in love with me, fine.

-It makes me wanna puke, but fine. -That's not it.

But if it's because you think it's what's best for me,

that is so condescending.

I can decide what's best. I can decide what I need.

I know.

And just because I'm having a hard time, doesn't mean that I'm broken.

I didn't know what to do.

All you had to do was be there,

just be my girlfriend.

But that was the problem.

Me being your girlfriend was making everything worse.

Why would you think that?

Because it's true.

I mean, think about when we met. I was so mean.

And then we got together, and I kissed someone else.

[scoffs]

It's what I do. I ruin things. I'm a ruiner.

Stop it. Don't talk about yourself like that.

It was condescending.

I just convinced myself that I was gonna mess things up with us.

And when you were so, so upset,

I blamed myself.

But you're right.

I shouldn't have.

[sighs]

And now all I wanna do is kiss you.

I'm okay with that.

♪ I'm so damn cold ♪

♪ But you make me melt ♪

♪ Get on, babe… ♪

Are we still a couple when you go back to Newton?

Yeah, of course.

♪ That it drives me mad ♪

♪ So, babe… ♪

My mom isn't here.

Do you wanna… stay?

-Yeah. -Okay.

-Are you sure you're ready to-- -Yeah.

Okay.

Is that a tattoo?

-Yeah, I'm a bad boy. -[laughs]

♪ Ooh, oh, ooh ♪

♪ Oh, ooh, oh ♪

♪ Easy ♪

It makes no sense that they would cancel it.

I know, and I told them that. It's unethical.

I mean, you've invested time and energy and money.

Canceling puts all the applicants in a compromised position.

Yes. What did they say?

Well, you were the only applicant.

Oh.

But they did mention Alaska.

What?

They've offered you a spot on their trip to Alaska.

Think about it.

They're both cold. They both start and end with A.

You could spend weekends in Juneau,

maybe shoot up to Denali and tussle with a bear.

Alaska? Alaska is nothing like Antarctica.

I've heard Sitka is beautiful.

Cute shops.

My parents stopped there on a cruise once.

They actually… They brought me this bracelet.

Is this a joke?

Well, they also said that you could reapply the semester after next,

assuming there's more interest then.

But that will be Antarctic winter,

which means it'll be dark day and night.

How will I see the penguins? How will I see anything?

-Bring a flashlight? -[sighs]

Look, either way, if you're staying at Denton next semester,

you better register for classes quick. I'm worried there's not much left.

Ugh.

That's how I got stuck with ethics.

-[dings] -[Elsa] Honey,

can you bring the salad to the table, please?

Okey doke.

Hey!

You can have it back after dinner.

We're doing artichokes tonight?

Oh, you don't like 'em? I get it.

Kind of spiky, lot of drama.

Why don't you tell the artichokes how you feel even though it's not your place?

Look, I'm not in the mood, okay? I didn't sleep well last night.

-You still having the tennis dream? -Yeah.

Maybe because you feel guilty for being a mean grump

who tried to blow up my life.

No, I don't feel guilty about that.

If you guys are gonna argue, can I have my notebook back?

No, we are sitting down, having dinner, and talking, like a family.

How you doing, honey?

Unless I'm drawing, I feel terrible.

I was late to sign up for classes, so guess what I'm taking?

Nineteenth-century English poetry, a pointless seminar on the moon landing,

and some other class I can't remember.

Oh, the moon landing thing sounds fun.

Why don't you go there right now?

[Sam] There's more news.

I agreed to work for Bob at his new electronics store, Bobtropolis.

It's a dumb name, it'll be a dumb job, and my whole life is dumb now.

Well, since we're talking about such sunny things,

I have to find a nursing home for my mother.

[Doug] Oh, how's she doing?

She's happy to be home, and she likes the new at-home health aide,

but we agreed we have to find a more permanent place.

Actually, I was hoping one of you would come with me.

But honestly, you're all kinda bumming me out, so never mind.

Typing! That's the other awful class I'm taking.

So dumb. [grunts]

Hey, Sam.

What's going on? What's all this?

I'm getting rid of everything that reminds me of Antarctica.

-I don't wanna think about it ever again. -[Paige] Oh.

Well, that's sad.

But I do understand.

I returned the potato suit today.

I threw that unitard in the trash, and I just covered it in wet garbage.

It was awesome.

[sighs]

Now I'm just here for my Os.

What?

My box of O Magazines.

God, please tell me that you didn't sell them at the yard sale.

Of course not.

They're under that table, and there's a couple propping up Zahid's desk.

Oh good. [sighs]

Now that I quit potato hell and found my magical birds,

I need to get crackin' and find my purpose.

But I realized something.

Know how I've been writing letters to women of greatness since I was five?

-Mm-hmm. -Well, some of them have responded,

and almost all have urged me to keep in touch.

So…

behold.

Twenty-seven stamped letters asking the world's most badass ladies

if they need a motivated self-starter on their team.

Hmm, just don't get your hopes up.

Well, I was hoping for a "good for you."

Although I also would have accepted, "Ooh, flowers of the American West?"

"Perfect stamp choice, Paige."

Look out, world. I'm back.

-[Sam] Hi, Zahid. -[Paige] Zahid, how are you doing?

Okay.

Your boy here picked me up, and that drive was smooth as butter.

Then I spent a week at Jay and Padma's icing my junk.

Now that I'm down to just one bean in my bag,

I feel like we've gotten closer.

How's it going here?

Why is the apartment so empty?

I'm getting rid of everything to do with Antarctica, except these boots.

They're stuck here like me.

[sighs] Damn those pesky reminders. I'll take 'em out for you.

It's the least I can do after you learned to drive for me.

Plus, Chip, the guy that lives upstairs, is super handy.

He's always tinkering with his car outside.

-I'm sure he has tools we can borrow. -Whatever. Probably won't work.

Sam, would you like an O? They always lift me up when I'm down.

I already borrowed one to put at the bottom of Edison's tank,

but I doubt you want that back.

I'll take a couple.

Oh, okay.

Ooh, holiday survival guide. That sounds important.

Yeah, that's a good one.

[Sam] It's time to say goodbye.

I'm not going to Antarctica probably ever,

and anything that reminds me of that fact makes me mad and sad,

and I feel like I'm letting you down.

So,

I'm just gonna try not to think about Antarctica…

which means I won't be around for a while,

but I'll have Casey come check on you.

She can be rude, but that won't really bother you.

Goodbye, Stumpy.

[girls cheering]

Second verse, same as the first!

Only this time she's even faster!

How'd you get so much faster?

Actually, if it's something illegal, I don't wanna know.

Just keep doing it, and maybe give some to these slowpokes.

Welcome back. We're gonna suck a lot less now.

That is the truth.

Now, obviously, Gardner is gonna retake her spot

as anchor of the 4x1, 4x4.

Sorry, Sharice.

Oh no. Wait, does that mean you're benched?

-Sharice, I'm sorry. I don't-- -Are you kidding?

I don't care about stupid running. Just want you. [chuckles]

[Briggs] All right, enough of that.

Okay, you can hug if you want to.

-[Casey laughs] -[Sharice] Mm.

Aw, man, I'm graduating right when we're starting to get good.

-You hear this one got a scholarship? -Just Denton.

The program's actually really good. You should check it out.

Um, she's my best friend.

-Ain't that right? -Yeah, that's right.

And apparently for a Division III school, Denton's pretty good.

And I wouldn't have to move far.

I could live here if I wanted to.

You don't wanna live here now.

It's not terrible. Free food, haircuts.

So is UCLA not an option anymore?

I don't know. I'm not asking.

Why?

It's--

It's far.

And I don't know anyone there.

I mean, Mom, my poor fingers have been through enough.

You have always talked about leaving after you graduated.

For years, you would make yourself pretend bus tickets.

You and Sharice were very fond of Orlando.

Yeah, they have, like, 17 water parks.

[sighs]

How about this?

You and I can go and visit a few colleges out of state and just get a sense of--

[Casey] I don't want to.

Okay?

And, hey, if I go to Denton,

I can smack Sam in the head whenever I need to.

And that's helpful for all of us, right?

[Chuck] Yeah!

Yeah.

Whoo! [chuckles]

[tennis ball bouncing]

[grunts]

Damn it.

Are you okay?

Did you have that tennis dream again?

Same score?

Fifty-four to zero?

Do you know that's not even a real tennis score?

Did you get to eat the bread this time? You know, I was looking in my dream book,

and I think that Sam represents your inner child.

Okay, don't waste your time thinking about this. It's just a stupid dream.

[Doug sighs]

[sighs]

Hey, whatcha smooshing?

[sighs] It's Little Dude in Antarctica.

I got rid of all my Antarctica stuff,

books, posters, a big giant penguin,

and I still keep drawing it.

It's out of your house, but it's not out of your head.

Yes, exactly. It's extremely frustrating.

I think that's okay.

What?

The only way to get past it is to go through it.

Draw and draw and draw Antarctica till all the Antarctica is out of you.

-Really? -Heck yeah.

You don't want those Little Dudes getting clogged up in your brain.

You're right, I don't.

When my guinea pig died, I drew 274 unicorns

in a weekend.

You gotta do what it takes.

Go nuts.

Hi there.

Oh.

Hello.

You're not Chip.

Nope, Chip moved out.

I moved in. I'm Honey.

I'm Zahid.

Uh, s-- sorry, I don't mean to bother you.

Um, I just needed to borrow some tools from Chip.

I don't have a lot of tools, but I should get some though.

-[Zahid] Huh. -I should get some… really big tools.

Oh.

I do have a hammer.

Did you wanna nail anything?

Um…

But, um…

Ugh.

I don't have a screwdriver though,

so we can't screw.

I'm just trying to help my friend.

"I'm just trying to help my friend"?

I mean, what was I thinking?

I had so many chances to use my sweet lines.

It was all right there for me.

Tools, drilling, nailing,

banging, cocking.

Flex shaft.

Groin vault.

Cabinet scraper.

I just--

So, what happened?

We had a cup of tea and talked for, like, three hours. I'm such an idiot.

Well, Zahid,

that sounds really good.

It does?

Yeah, it sounds like a date.

But we had our clothes on.

What did you guys talk about?

Just, like, our lives, our hopes, our fears.

I didn't even compliment her tatas once, damn it.

That's how real relationships happen.

Oh.

Wait a minute. Am I a nicer guy after my surgery?

Did I have a bad ball?

Is it possible that my right nut

was the evil twin?

I don't think so.

I think it's pretty clear you're wrong.

[scoffs] Life's pretty funny, huh?

Turns out I had to lose a testicle to become a better man.

You're not that much better.

Thank you for trying, Sammy, but I clearly am.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready.

I'm going out to dinner with Honey.

I'm sure I won't even make a move.

[sighs] So, I have some kinda crazy news.

Remember those 27 letters that I wrote?

Of course.

Well, I already heard back from the head of Habitat for Humanity.

She offered me a job in their main office, in Georgia.

Whoa.

Yeah, I know. I mean, it's good for the world.

I would learn a lot.

It's business casual, which is totally my jam.

But get this. It would start in a week.

A week?

Yeah.

I mean, that's-- That's just too fast, you know?

It-- It's-- It's not practical.

So I-- I'm gonna say no.

Hmm, that does sound impossible.

So you're in agreement, I should turn it down?

Absolutely.

Oh.

Good. [sighs]

Good.

Okay, I'm gonna go look at that place for Grandma.

It's an hour and a half drive, so I'll probably be gone a while.

-Why don't you come with me? -No, thanks. Very busy.

Are you watching cartoons?

I'm technically a kid.

We can stop for fast food, both ways.

I see all that healthy food you packed.

There's something with leaves sticking out of the top. Pass.

Come on. I could use the support.

[scoffs] Fine. But if you start to annoy me with your incessant chatter,

I get to play music as loud as I want.

Deal. But you have to change out of that T-shirt.

Oh, this?

Beth gave me this.

We're friends again. "Best friends forever." [chuckles]

All right, but leave the snacks.

I don't want you getting any ideas.

-Oh! -[Doug] You know what I'm wondering?

If you could eat any slower.

Because patients who are bleeding out on the street

love to wait around for some kid to finish his lunch at a snail's pace.

-Still not sleeping, huh? -Nah.

You know what you need to try? Bowhunting.

-What? -[Evan] Yeah, it resets the mind.

-My uncle goes all the time. -[sighs]

This elk jerky?

It's from him.

I could call him if you want.

Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be able to join you

'cause according to my pay stub,

I've earned a grand total of one-third of a vacation day.

Well, wait till you're my age. I have 54 saved up.

You have 54 vacation days?

Fifty-four to zero.

[Evan] Oh, man.

I mean, if I had 54 vacation days,

I'd pack up my car, and I'd head straight to Myrtle Beach.

[fading out] I've been there before with some friends. It's, like, super nice.

So when are you gonna tell me why we're here?

Are you sending Grandma to Newton?

Who's that lady?

-That is Emily. -Who's Emily?

Emily works at UCLA.

Mom.

[sighs] You have talked about leaving home since you were three years old.

Honestly, it used to hurt my feelings a little.

But now, hearing you talk about not leaving,

that hurts my feelings more.

It's not that big a deal.

It is.

I've always envied how big you dream.

I know what happened at Clayton, your anxiety issues.

I know that scared you.

I don't wanna go through that again.

And I don't want you to.

But you are a brave, strong person,

and you can handle scary things.

And I'm not saying you have to go to UCLA. Just go meet with the nice lady.

[sighs] You tricked me.

I did.

And now… go fly, like the bird you have tattooed on your arm.

I have been hiding that from you.

No, you haven't.

And you're grounded.

♪ When everything's the matter ♪

♪ And there's no one left like you ♪

♪ Wait, wait for the sunlight… ♪

Okay.

♪ Hey, why do you delay? ♪

♪ You're fickle as emotion ♪

♪ I know it feels that way ♪

♪ But hope's a honey in the air ♪

♪ A melody around you ♪

♪ When no one else is there ♪

♪ Wait ♪

♪ Wait for the sunlight ♪

♪ Love or leave ♪

♪ What life would I lose? ♪

♪ Ooh la la, ooh la la la la ♪

♪ Don't you wanna feel it too? ♪

♪ And heal your heart With rhythm and blues ♪

♪ Ooh la la, ooh la la la la ♪

♪ Don't you wanna feel it too? ♪

♪ Ooh la la, ooh la la la la ♪

♪ Don't you wanna feel it too? ♪

♪ Ooh la la, ooh la la la la ♪

♪ Don't you wanna feel it too? ♪

I'm going to Antarctica.

What do you mean? You mean, Alaska?

No, of course not.

Oh, Alaska's a good idea.

I'll be honest. For a long time, I didn't know the difference.

Antarctica, Alaska, they're both cold, they sound the same.

I'm not going to Alaska.

Wh-- What happened, Sam?

This.

Mom, you told me a long time ago that Little Dude helped me adapt.

Well, he just did it again. He got on a ship.

That's what I'm gonna do.

I don't need a program to go to Antarctica.

I can go on my own.

[Casey] How?

It's really far and really cold, and you're small and frail.

True, but think about it.

I'm already prepared.

I have my supplies. I have my itinerary. I even raised my own money.

I just need to book a place to stay and my travel, and voilà!

Wow, that's amazing, Sam.

Honey, that's…

incredible.

I am so proud of you.

Thanks, but I just came to look through some old journals.

I have some facts written in there that I need for my trip.

And then I have to go to the aquarium and tell Stumpy the good news.

Well, you need a ride?

I can drive now. I just need to borrow a car.

Well, I'll lend you the truck, but I'm gonna drive it.

Okay.

So no Alaska?

Shut up.

[inspirational music playing]

[Doug] Sam, you ready to go?

[Sam] Good news, Stumpy. I'm going to Antarctica after all.

Sorry if I worried you.

I don't think she could hear you through the water.

I know, but I like talking to her. She's my friend.

I get it.

You gonna miss your friends?

You seem to have a lot of them all of a sudden.

Yeah. [sighs]

But I have to go.

I know what I wanna do and where I wanna be,

so I don't feel like I have a choice.

Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that.

I know what I wanna do and where I wanna be too.

And I have all these vacation days saved up, and, well…

Can I come with you to Antarctica?

I know you did all the planning and preparing.

I'll just be there to lift the heavy bags, I promise.

Okay, you can come.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

So, this thing happened.

Elsa tricked me.

You think she's nice, but she's nothing but trouble.

-Mm-hmm. -She completely lied to me.

She made me eat healthy snacks, and she talked my ear off.

What are you trying to tell me?

I met with a scout from UCLA.

Wow.

So did I.

-Really? -Yeah.

-Emily? -Emily.

-Holy crap! [laughs] -I know. [laughs]

I don't know if it's gonna happen,

but… if either of us gets in, that person needs to go,

whether or not the other one does.

-Promise? -Promise.

-Forehead promise? -[chuckles] Forehead promise.

[both giggle]

[both giggle]

Um,

am I in the wrong room?

Look, I'm here to apologize, so be nice.

I'm listening.

I shouldn't have said all that stuff to Izzie.

You were right. It wasn't my place.

Dad…

that's not why I was mad.

I just wanted you to like her.

What you think is important.

I know.

You know, I think I focus too much on your life.

Because for a long time, I felt like you were the only person

in this family I understood.

Same here.

And that's changing now,

like it should.

Okay.

And I'm sorry.

And, hey, you know, I didn't like Evan at first.

Now look at us. We're like best buddies.

[both chuckle]

Maybe in a couple years, Izzie and I

will be driving around in an ambulance together.

[chuckles] God. Yeah, I highly doubt it. She doesn't like you either.

[both laugh]

Mm.

-And guess what? -What?

I'm going to Antarctica with Sam.

You are?

Good.

[Casey sighs]

[laughs]

-You're gonna be so cold. -I know.

[laughs]

[Doug] Ooh.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

[gasps] Ooh, that looks so yummy.

I don't think anything could beat those butter noodles.

They were exceptional.

[gasps]

Holy moly, you know what I just realized?

Sam, we've never made it to dessert at the Olive Garden.

What?

Well, historically, our meals here

have ended in some sort of upsetting skirmish

somewhere around the appetizers, but… not tonight.

Tonight, we celebrate with cheesecake.

[Sam] Mm.

Sam, I'm really excited for your trip.

I mean, I'll miss you, of course,

but… [sighs] …I just think it's really important that you go.

I think it's really important that you go too.

What?

I was going through my archives

because I couldn't remember the population density of Antarctica.

It's one one-hundredth of a human per square mile.

And I came across this.

It's my old pros and cons list of you.

Well, what's left of it.

Zahid ripped out the original.

And I made an etching. [chuckles]

And then you ripped that one out too.

But you can still make out some of the words.

"Smart, loyal, clean shoes."

And I wrote that after knowing you for, like, a week.

And now I've known you for 116 weeks,

and you are smarter and more loyal

and have cleaner shoes than I ever could have imagined.

Sam. [chuckles] You counted the weeks?

They were good weeks.

I think the reason that your magical bird is middle fingers

is that you're good at advocating for people.

Like how you got the school to hold a silent dance,

or you yelled at those kids for signing my yearbook.

[sighs]

Well, thank you.

But I wasn't very supportive about Antarctica at first.

But then you were.

And… now I have to do the same for you.

What do you mean?

I think you should take that job in Georgia building habitats.

What? But it starts so soon.

-It doesn't matter. -I'd have to leave in a few days.

-I know. -Sam, I'd be gone for, like, a year.

At least.

I'm scared.

I know.

But you're the bravest person I know, Paige.

Well, this means that I won't be here when you leave or when you get back.

I know.

So how are we supposed to stay together being so far apart?

I don't know.

♪ Gray ♪

♪ You said another day… ♪

I never thought I could find a girlfriend,

and then I found the best one in the world, you.

But now you need to go, and I need to go,

so I think… maybe

we should break up for a while.

[sighs]

Darn it.

I think you're right.

And I really hate that.

Me too.

Well, I mean, who knows? Maybe…

Maybe someday we can pick up where we left off.

Maybe.

♪ I'll paint your sky light blue… ♪

But just because we're taking a break from being girlfriend and boyfriend

doesn't mean I'll ever take a break from being in love with you.

♪ Stop into the scene ♪

♪ I'll follow right on cue ♪

♪ And, baby, I will stay true ♪

Neither will I, Sam.

[sniffles, exhales]

-Got everything, bud? -Yep.

-Will you and Edison be okay? -Oh yeah.

Honey's coming by for vegan enchiladas.

I think it's time they met.

-Don't let her hold him. -Of course not.

Oh, hey, one more thing.

Y-- You got them out.

Honey and I bought a big tool.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Bye, Edison.

Bye, Zahid.

Thank you for being the best friend ever and the best godfather ever.

I may be the best godfather, but you're the best friend.

I'm gonna miss you, homie.

I'll miss you too.

Sammy, wait.

Sorry I didn't ask first.

It's okay. At least it's tight.

The old Zahid would make a joke about that, but I've grown.

The old Zahid would make a joke about that too.

Yeah.

Yeah, he would.

You have enough socks? Undies?

How about your boots? Are they broken in?

Because if you put 'em on brand-new, you're gonna get blisters,

and then you'll have to take them off, and then your feet will freeze off.

My boots are fine.

I can't believe you're leaving.

Me neither.

But it feels right.

It does.

You worried about me being gone?

I'll miss you, but no.

You guys are gonna have a blast.

I'm generally pretty chill about this stuff.

Right, super chill.

I love you.

I love you too.

Ready?

[footsteps approaching]

I know.

I'm here. Let's skedaddle.

[door closes]

I have something for you.

A hand?

My hand.

So if you do something stupid,

I can smack you from the other side of the world.

Well, if I do something stupid, I'll probably die,

but this will be a good reminder to stay smart, so thank you.

You're welcome.

I have something for you too.

Your green hoodie?

But this is your favorite.

Yes, it's my best one.

It's too thin for Antarctica, but it's just right for here.

Yep, that's the best way to wear it.

[Elsa] My turn with the explorer.

Listen--

Uh-- Mm--

Wha--

Uh--

I think she's trying to say she's proud of you.

Thanks, Mom.

[choking up] You're welcome.

-Okay. We're all set here. -[Elsa sighs]

Oh, your passports.

Okay, can't forget your passports.

-Sam, you look so sweet in your photo. -[chuckles]

You know, that's the one photo you're not supposed to smile for.

I couldn't help it. I'm so happy.

Well, you ready to go?

Ready.

Okay.

-Oh. -I love you.

[Elsa sighs]

[grunts]

[inspirational music playing]