All language subtitles for S05E04 - Ladies Night

Hey, Miss Sullivan, you want to hear
your horoscope?

Yeah, what does it say? It says you're
going to sleep with a tall, dark,

handsome prosecuting attorney at 9.15.

It says don't let your passion sweep you
awake.

I was paraphrasing.

You know, that sounds more like Rod's
horoscope, because she's...

She's what, Walt?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

Just go on about your normal daily
business.

Oh, come on, Bull. What about Roz?

She doesn't want you to get around, so
you've got to promise to keep it a

secret. Sure.

Cross your heart and hope to die?

Yes. Stick a needle in your eye?

Yes. Cramp your face in a blender?

Yes.

Roz has a boyfriend.

Haven't you noticed how cheerful she's
been lately?

Thought there was just an ammo sale at
shoot and save.

She's been seeing him for about a month.

She calls him four or five times every
day.

Gee, sounds like it could be the big L.

Leather.

Look, there she is.

The regular five o'clock phone call to
her kissy-uggy snuggles.

Hello, DeWayne.

I just wanted to tell you something.

Next case, sir. People versus Mr.

Richard Jorgensen.

Hmm. What's wrong with this picture?

This is the defendant, Rhonda, formerly
Richard Jorgensen, charged with indecent

exposure. Since the arrest, the
defendant had his name changed.

Among other things.

I see. So, what have we got?

Not as much as we used to.

Your Honor, in light of the operation, I
move for dismissal.

On what grounds?

Lack of evidence.

Okay, Mr.

and Ms. Jorgensen, I'm going to drop the
indecent exposure charge as long as you

promise that you'll never again...

Right. Have a nice day.

Well, so much for that little slice of
life.

Roz, will you bring in the next
defendant, please?

Don't you snap at me!

Is it just me, or is Roz not a happy
camper?

I hate to see you so upset.

Well, it's obvious what the problem is.
Her boyfriend is gone, and now her needs

are tragically unfulfilled.

You know how cranky women can get when
they don't get... sex on a regular

basis.

Oh, cram it, you pig.

Arrest my case.

Your Honor, I think that we should at
least talk to Roz. Help her get things

off her chest.

No, I don't think Roz is really the
heartfelt discussion type.

Oh, I know she can be a little moody at
times.

I said stand up!

Okay, she can be downright testy.

But she's been with us for nearly two
years and none of us even knows her.

I think Roz really needs someone to talk
to.

And I'm going to be that someone.

Miss Sullivan, I've had some experience
in this. Now, believe me, it's not a

good idea to butt into someone else's
personal problems.

Sir, I'm sure glad you called me last
night about the vasectomy.

And if I go ahead with it, I will have a
doctor do it.

Now, that wasn't butting in. The guy
wanted to borrow my weed whacker.

Trust me, Your Honor.

Rod is just aching to open up to
someone.

I'm the defendant guilty of assault and
battery, and Mr. Gunther, I am going to

give you two days in the slammer because
you've got to learn that this is not

funny no matter what you think of the
man's musical talent.

You know, you'd really feel better if
you talked about it.

Look, Christine, I like you.

That's why you got a warning shot.

It couldn't hurt to talk about it for a
minute.

Please? Please?

All right, talk.

Roz, look, we are not that different. I
know what it's like to be hurt by a man.

Why, I even had a boyfriend dump me in
the middle of the prom.

Mine tried to run me over with his
Buick.

Listen, Christine, it's nothing
personal. I just can't stand being

around you.

That's because you don't know me.

We have to learn about each other.

Can't I just send you my resume?

I mean one-to-one.

For instance, come on, what do you
usually do after work?

Break horses.

Oh, come on, isn't there someplace you
like to go to unwind? A tavern, a

bistro, a block?

Well, there's Monty's. Oh, now you see?

That sounds like fun. Let's go.

I'm not so sure it's your kind of...
what.

Oh, come on, Roz. It'll be keen.

Please, please, please.

You're gonna pester me till I die,
aren't you?

Yes.

Good. Then when I kill you, it'll be
self-defense.

Oh, Roz, I...

busy. Evening, Roz. I've saved you your
usual table. Hey, Gil, clear this table

off for Roz and her friends.

Thank you.

Oh, this isn't too bad.

It's a little guzzy, but what the heck.

So, how'd you find this place?

I live up there.

What'll it be?

Ah, I think I'll have a poos cafe.

We're fresh out of poos.

Roz, what do you recommend?

Want your usual, Roz?

Yeah, hideaway special.

I'll have one of those, too.

So, here we are together.

At last, we have a chance to really get
to know each other. To really learn what

makes each other tick.

See inside each other's souls.

Outside? Are you blind?

Did you drink, lady?

Ha! Wow!

Uh, can I have a straw?

Sure.

There you go.

I think he likes you.

Yeah, well.

Um, I think, uh, Toad is in order.

Good friend.

Tonight is kind of special.

Shut up.

Woo!

That is really something.

Roz, um, what is that on the side of my
glass?

Little pink umbrella.

No, the thing opening up the umbrella.

They just take a sip, lay eggs, and move
on.

Okay, folks, it's showtime.

I didn't know there was live
entertainment.

This isn't just any old what.

Direct from a smash appearance at
Rocco's Blunt and Schmidt Lounge.

The Flamingo stylings of the one.

The only.

He's not much of a captainette player.

In fact, he's not much of a dancer.

Maybe I'm being too critical.

What do you think of the captainette
now?

That was Redwood Wally and his little
stump.

Me, sir? How'd you do that?

Let's just say I've mastered the
possibility.

And now, let's have a big Monty's
welcome for Sinbad...

she shouldn't be associating with these
depraved women whipping themselves into

a frenzy of lust.

I'll take out as many as I can, sir.

Any sign of Christine?

No. Of course I could see a lot better
if it wasn't for that crazy bimbo

dancing on the table.

Yeah, where'd she learn to play the
flute?

Boy,

I never thought I'd live to see that.

It's just like all my dreams.

Except, of course, she's not wearing the
catcher's mask.

Sir, can we just leave?

I mean, it's Christine's business if she
wants to jump rope with a string of jock

straps.

You, out!

No man till after 11 p.m.

Do you know who you're talking to? This
is Judge Harold T. Stone.

He's right. And these guys are my court
officers.

We're on a fact-finding habeas corpus.
We're investigating modus operandi.

Well, I'm very sorry, Judge. I cooperate
fully with the lawyer.

Right, I'll make note of that in your
ipso facto.

Gee, thanks.

Feel free to investigate anything.

This is going to take some intensive
probing.

Wow, look at this. You and that uniform.

I love it.

You like to dance?

Can we just leave it at a handshake?

We've got to go in there and save Miss
Sullivan.

I ain't going in there without a
machete.

Okay, then I'll do it on my own.

Excuse me, ladies.

Hi, excuse me. Oh, hey.

Oh, bingo.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Gotcha, you pervert.

No, no, I wasn't doing nothing, I
promise.

Well, why not, cutie pie?

Lady, I...

kind of people.

Hey, Ron, quick.

Give me more money to stuff in that
guy's shorts.

You had $50 in singles.

What can I say?

I love a man in uniform.

Hi, ladies.

Sir, what a pleasant surprise.

Where'd you come from?

The mouth of the Amazon.

drinks have you had?

I don't know. I'll take off my shoes and
count them.

Miss Sullivan, I think barn door's open.
What?

Gotcha!

You really like that guy dancing up
there?

Tell me one good thing about him.

He's not you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What has he got that I
haven't got?

for a delicate, gentle woman like
yourself.

Once,

twice, three times a lady.

Sir, sir, can we get the hell out of
here now?

Everything's under control.

Now. Oh, you are such a fanny.

Well, that did it. You left me no
choice. I'm going to carry you out of

here.

So, two-timing me, huh?

No, actually.

Hey, who let in the hippo?

You left me for some cheesy tramp with a
padded bra.

Padded?

Honey, these are factory original.

Let's see what you're made of. Oh, you
want to get tough, huh?

No, no, no. Violence is no answer.

Check, please.

I got a clear shot at you now.

Hey, put your pants back on.

Banzai!

Wait, stop, stop. This is all wrong.
Stop it.

At least have the decency to oil up.

$460, $480, $500. My God, where did you
get all that money?

It monies.

Women kept stuffing 20th on my pants.

That's disgusting.

I only got 10.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait.

Sorry about your eye, sir. I guess I got
carried away.

Actually, he's the one who got carried
away.

What was that?

Sir, I'm sorry. I didn't think a little
thing like me could knock a man silly.

Hey, I wasn't knocked silly. I was
simply expressing my shock at your

behavior.

Miss Sullivan, I warned you about
sticking your nose into other people's

business, but did you listen to me? No.

Not that I didn't enjoy it. having Big
Maggie floss my teeth with her tongue.

None of this ever would have happened if
certain people didn't stick their noses

into other people's business where they
didn't belong in the first place.

You're absolutely right, sir.

You see, Roz agrees with me. I was
talking about you.

What? You were the one butting in.

If you hadn't come down there, none of
this would have happened.

I was just trying to keep her from
bothering you. Who says I wanted you to?

I was on my own time.

If I want to go out with a friend, then
that's my business.

I'm not finished.

Yes, please go on.

Thank you.

I have nothing more to say.

Except we forgive you.

Fine, as long as I've made myself clear.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to
go slap a butt fake on my face.

Boy, he sure seems mad.

Guess we shouldn't have auctioned off
his underpants.

Um, Ron, did you mean it when you called
me a friend?

Nope.

Oh, well, see you later.

Christine.

There's a reason why you're not my
friend.

People like me don't have friends.

What do you mean, people like you?

People who play nude war games and
roller skate hanging on the motorcycles

and are shy.

You? Shy?

The one who said to the Pope, hey, take
off that pointy hat?

When I pay five bucks to see Hercules
unchained, I don't want anything

blocking the screen.

I'm uncomfortable around people because
I'm afraid that if they get to know

me, they won't like me.

Oh, Roz, that's silly.

You're very likable when you're not
shooting at people.

It's a defense mechanism.

Well, it didn't work with me.

And I think that's because deep down you
want a friend.

Guess if I have to have a friend, it
ought to be somebody who can make Big

Maggie suck soda.

Well, that wasn't really me. That was
those hideaway specials. What's in those

things anyway?

Pineapple juice, soda water, and ice.

That's it?

That's it.

There's no booze at all in those things?

Not a drop.

So, then, I did all those crazy things
because deep

down, I'm more like you appear to be
than you are.

Live with that.

Well, then, there's a chance we can be
friends.

We can be bosom buddies.

With the two of us, that's saying quite
a bit.

Listen, uh, you got any plans for
tomorrow night?

Tomorrow night? No.

You ever see tag team mud wrestling on
cable TV?

Oh, Ross, I really... I don't like to
watch those things.

Who said anything about watching?

We'll kick their...