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♪ Here I am, hiding out now in a hole ♪
4
00:00:15,028 --> 00:00:17,928
♪ Barely eating, barely sleeping,
this shit's taking its toll ♪
5
00:00:17,929 --> 00:00:20,198
♪ Fuck writing, I got
bigger fish to fry now ♪
6
00:00:20,199 --> 00:00:22,432
♪ I know I'll die now, I need a plan ♪
7
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♪ I do not like this man ♪
8
00:00:23,629 --> 00:00:25,903
♪ Tarnishing the scripture,
how he mocks me ♪
9
00:00:25,905 --> 00:00:28,739
♪ All this blasphemy and vanity,
carnality exhausts me ♪
10
00:00:28,740 --> 00:00:31,175
♪ It'll cost me my respect in Iran ♪
11
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♪ And so it's time for him to
die, I do not like this man ♪
12
00:00:33,878 --> 00:00:36,847
♪ Come on, don't be silly,
it was just a book ♪
13
00:00:36,848 --> 00:00:39,615
♪ Don't look weak now,
can't let him off the hook ♪
14
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♪ What a coward, God knows that ♪
15
00:00:42,286 --> 00:00:45,256
♪ I do not like this man ♪
16
00:00:45,256 --> 00:00:47,057
♪ What am I gonna do? ♪
17
00:00:47,058 --> 00:00:49,893
♪ His death sentence is the
worst friggin' book review ♪
18
00:00:49,893 --> 00:00:52,128
♪ His book's like a sickness,
it won't quit ya ♪
19
00:00:52,130 --> 00:00:55,665
♪ Talkin' trash about the
scripture, not a pretty picture ♪
20
00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:57,935
♪ All I wanted was to win
the Booker Prize, guys ♪
21
00:00:57,936 --> 00:01:01,103
♪ Not have him slit my throat
and gouge out my eyes, my, my ♪
22
00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:02,972
I can't allow this desecration ♪
23
00:01:02,974 --> 00:01:04,707
♪ This irritation, indignation ♪
24
00:01:04,709 --> 00:01:06,810
- ♪ Not while I lead this nation ♪
- ♪ Whoo ♪
25
00:01:06,811 --> 00:01:08,811
- ♪ It's official ♪
- ♪ Don't try to call our bluff ♪
26
00:01:08,813 --> 00:01:11,480
- ♪ Deference, as if ♪
- ♪ Writing's not hard enough ♪
27
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♪ Heathen, tyrant, traitor, violent ♪
28
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God knows that I do not like this man
29
00:01:18,655 --> 00:01:20,522
♪ Haven't you caught him yet? ♪
30
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♪ Stop asking me already, I'm trying ♪
31
00:01:23,993 --> 00:01:25,861
♪ Please just express regret ♪
32
00:01:25,861 --> 00:01:29,198
♪ Oh, yeah, like I haven't
thought of that, come on ♪
33
00:01:29,198 --> 00:01:32,334
- ♪ Just go cut off his head ♪
- ♪ Ah ♪
34
00:01:32,335 --> 00:01:33,802
♪ Just hide under the bed ♪
35
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I do not like this
36
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♪ He doesn't like this ♪
37
00:01:39,442 --> 00:01:41,911
♪ I cannot like this ♪
38
00:01:41,912 --> 00:01:44,646
♪ He'll never like this ♪
39
00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:48,682
♪ I do not like this man ♪
40
00:01:48,683 --> 00:01:50,652
♪ Enemies forever! ♪
41
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:54,021
- Whoa! Whoa!
- Man: Terrific! Terrific! Thank you.
42
00:01:54,022 --> 00:01:55,956
What a wonderful day
of rehearsal, gang.
43
00:01:55,957 --> 00:01:57,325
Thanks so much. That was great.
44
00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:58,893
I like these men.
45
00:01:58,894 --> 00:02:00,828
- Really great job.
- Fantastic.
46
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,864
- My best work.
- Wow.
47
00:02:02,864 --> 00:02:05,867
How about Susan Stroman? I mean... huh?
48
00:02:05,867 --> 00:02:06,935
She's the best.
49
00:02:06,936 --> 00:02:08,669
11:30 call tomorrow.
50
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:11,171
We're gonna start with the new
choreography for "Fatwa Sex."
51
00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:14,175
- I gotta talk to Lin.
- All right.
52
00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:17,111
Quick question for you. Cody wants
to know which poster you like more.
53
00:02:17,112 --> 00:02:20,747
- Um... I think this one.
- Cool.
54
00:02:20,748 --> 00:02:22,716
- Murray.
- Hey.
55
00:02:22,716 --> 00:02:25,051
- That was unbelievable!
- Oh, thanks.
56
00:02:25,052 --> 00:02:26,687
- So great.
- Felt good.
57
00:02:26,687 --> 00:02:28,656
- Loved it.
- Thanks.
58
00:02:28,657 --> 00:02:31,091
I got one little, tiny note for you.
59
00:02:31,091 --> 00:02:33,461
- Yeah?
- It's a small, small note.
60
00:02:33,461 --> 00:02:37,163
I noticed that you're
denunciating with your fist.
61
00:02:37,164 --> 00:02:41,701
And the ayatollah,
actually, he denunciates
62
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,637
with his... with his index finger.
63
00:02:43,638 --> 00:02:45,938
- He kind of uses it like a... like a sledgehammer.
- Yeah?
64
00:02:45,939 --> 00:02:47,507
- That feels good.
- You like that?
65
00:02:47,508 --> 00:02:49,043
- I think it's terrific.
- Yeah.
66
00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:50,543
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
67
00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,679
Yeah. And...
68
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,481
- I really like your shoes.
- Really?
69
00:02:55,483 --> 00:02:57,516
- Yeah.
- Thank you!
70
00:02:57,518 --> 00:03:00,152
Can we go over the choreo for
"Fatwa Sex" before we go onstage?
71
00:03:00,153 --> 00:03:01,820
Yeah, why don't you come in at 10:45?
72
00:03:01,822 --> 00:03:03,689
We'll have the dance captain come.
73
00:03:03,691 --> 00:03:05,091
- Ach!
- Are you happy?
74
00:03:05,092 --> 00:03:06,793
- Am I happy?
- Aren't they incredible?
75
00:03:06,794 --> 00:03:09,162
- It's crazy! This is insane!
- It's gonna be amazing.
76
00:03:09,163 --> 00:03:10,729
I can't believe how excited I am!
77
00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:12,397
I've only been excited
twice in my life.
78
00:03:12,399 --> 00:03:14,332
- Unsnapping my first bra.
79
00:03:14,334 --> 00:03:16,134
And this! This is like my second bra!
80
00:03:16,135 --> 00:03:17,536
Oh, well, fantastic.
81
00:03:17,537 --> 00:03:19,671
If this guy ever asks you
to go in the weeds,
82
00:03:19,673 --> 00:03:20,907
get in the weeds!
83
00:03:20,908 --> 00:03:22,841
- Is that fishing?
- No, no, no.
84
00:03:22,842 --> 00:03:25,610
- That's work. That's work, yeah.
- Yeah. It's the work.
85
00:03:25,611 --> 00:03:27,413
- As I was watching it...
- Yeah?
86
00:03:27,413 --> 00:03:29,848
...I'm thinking that old opening
87
00:03:29,848 --> 00:03:31,849
would work great now.
88
00:03:31,850 --> 00:03:33,551
- What?
- ♪ There's a fatwa, there's a fatwa ♪
89
00:03:33,552 --> 00:03:34,719
♪ Gotta run, I think I oughta... ♪
90
00:03:34,721 --> 00:03:35,920
Oh, I totally blocked that out.
91
00:03:35,921 --> 00:03:37,423
You know, just sitting there,
92
00:03:37,424 --> 00:03:39,990
you can just feel
how well that could work.
93
00:03:39,991 --> 00:03:41,158
You know what we do?
94
00:03:41,159 --> 00:03:43,895
Cast album bonus track
just for the fans.
95
00:03:43,896 --> 00:03:46,698
Give them the bonus now.
Why have a bonus then?
96
00:03:46,699 --> 00:03:49,600
It's not a bonus if it's already here.
97
00:03:49,602 --> 00:03:51,569
Cody, what'd you think of that?
98
00:03:51,569 --> 00:03:53,739
My toe started tapping. I mean...
99
00:03:53,740 --> 00:03:55,240
- Yeah.
- ♪ Gonna get shot-a. ♪
100
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,442
- It's catchy.
- Yeah. It's catchy!
101
00:03:57,442 --> 00:03:58,610
But I think this opening number
102
00:03:58,610 --> 00:04:00,677
sets up the thing you love so much.
103
00:04:00,679 --> 00:04:02,112
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
104
00:04:02,114 --> 00:04:04,382
I gotta go to wardrobe and get changed.
Walk with me?
105
00:04:04,383 --> 00:04:05,967
Yeah. I wanna talk to
you about something.
106
00:04:05,967 --> 00:04:06,850
Great. Thanks, Cody.
107
00:04:06,852 --> 00:04:08,719
But honestly,
you should reconsider this.
108
00:04:08,721 --> 00:04:10,254
Look, watch. Just watch this.
109
00:04:10,256 --> 00:04:12,389
One second. I'm running, okay?
You're running.
110
00:04:12,390 --> 00:04:14,591
♪ There's a fatwa, there's a fatwa,
gotta run, I think I oughta ♪
111
00:04:14,592 --> 00:04:16,293
♪ Gotta hide, I think I've gotta ♪
112
00:04:16,293 --> 00:04:18,161
♪ Gonna get scared, gonna get
shot-a, want my mama... ♪
113
00:04:18,163 --> 00:04:19,663
And everybody's yelling
from the windows.
114
00:04:19,663 --> 00:04:20,865
That's your talk show bit.
115
00:04:20,865 --> 00:04:22,699
You do that on "Late Night" and say,
116
00:04:22,699 --> 00:04:25,401
"This is what turned into the amazing
musical number we actually did."
117
00:04:25,403 --> 00:04:26,569
It's gonna be great.
118
00:04:26,571 --> 00:04:28,172
Hey, Cody, what'd you think of that?
119
00:04:28,173 --> 00:04:30,706
I... I would attend a workshop of it.
120
00:04:30,707 --> 00:04:32,576
- It's a workshop.
- Hey.
121
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:35,646
- So, first preview's in a week.
- Yeah.
122
00:04:35,646 --> 00:04:37,648
I'm thinking it would be a good idea
123
00:04:37,649 --> 00:04:39,316
to do something for the cast and crew.
124
00:04:39,317 --> 00:04:41,918
Something fun, you know.
Maybe like paintball?
125
00:04:41,918 --> 00:04:43,286
Well, that's a great idea!
126
00:04:43,288 --> 00:04:44,754
- Yeah?
- Yeah, absolutely.
127
00:04:44,755 --> 00:04:46,721
"Lion King" used to
do that all the time.
128
00:04:46,723 --> 00:04:48,290
- Oh, terrific!
- Yeah, it might be fun.
129
00:04:48,292 --> 00:04:49,492
Great, we'll do it this weekend.
130
00:04:49,492 --> 00:04:51,127
You know, I'll pay for it.
131
00:04:51,127 --> 00:04:52,928
Great, I'll spread the
word with the cast.
132
00:04:52,930 --> 00:04:54,531
- Hi, Greg.
- Hi.
133
00:04:54,533 --> 00:04:58,543
So, I think this is not the tweed
that we really want. I just...
134
00:04:58,543 --> 00:05:00,939
What is it about it that's
not working for you?
135
00:05:00,939 --> 00:05:03,574
It's not quite professorial enough.
Do you agree?
136
00:05:03,574 --> 00:05:05,709
- I... I like it.
- You like it?
137
00:05:05,709 --> 00:05:08,077
- Yeah, I think it looks good.
- I'd like to see options, then.
138
00:05:08,079 --> 00:05:09,547
- Okay.
- Yeah.
139
00:05:09,548 --> 00:05:11,149
These are all the vests I pulled.
140
00:05:11,149 --> 00:05:12,649
Oh, I wanted to ask you,
141
00:05:12,651 --> 00:05:15,052
my cousin Valentina and her husband,
142
00:05:15,052 --> 00:05:16,521
their Airbnb fell through.
143
00:05:16,521 --> 00:05:18,555
They're coming in to see
the first preview.
144
00:05:18,557 --> 00:05:20,990
I was wondering if they
could maybe stay with you.
145
00:05:20,992 --> 00:05:23,894
Hmm... no hotel?
146
00:05:23,894 --> 00:05:26,228
They're... they're
a really interesting couple.
147
00:05:26,230 --> 00:05:28,132
Hotels are not their thing.
148
00:05:28,132 --> 00:05:30,533
But aren't you renting a house?
149
00:05:30,535 --> 00:05:31,968
Yeah, but me and V
only have one bedroom.
150
00:05:31,970 --> 00:05:33,137
There's really not room,
151
00:05:33,137 --> 00:05:34,603
and you've got that great big house.
152
00:05:34,605 --> 00:05:36,639
Is that okay? Is that... it's cool?
153
00:05:37,740 --> 00:05:39,341
Yeah, sure. What the hell.
154
00:05:39,343 --> 00:05:40,909
All right. Thank you.
155
00:05:40,911 --> 00:05:43,079
Wonder if there's anything else
156
00:05:43,079 --> 00:05:45,247
we need to do before tomorrow.
157
00:05:45,249 --> 00:05:47,449
- Something wrong?
- I...
158
00:05:47,451 --> 00:05:49,685
I just did you a very nice favor.
159
00:05:49,687 --> 00:05:51,086
- Yeah.
- Uh...
160
00:05:51,088 --> 00:05:53,555
and that "thank you" was...
161
00:05:53,557 --> 00:05:55,110
it was like I passed you the ketchup.
162
00:05:55,112 --> 00:05:56,024
Yeah, no, no.
163
00:05:56,024 --> 00:05:58,026
It was not commensurate
with the gesture.
164
00:05:58,028 --> 00:06:00,262
Oh, I... I appreciate it.
165
00:06:00,262 --> 00:06:01,697
Thank you.
166
00:06:01,699 --> 00:06:03,598
Um, what else do you have?
167
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,500
You've seen the choices.
168
00:06:05,502 --> 00:06:07,468
- Um...
- All right, I'm... I'm...
169
00:06:07,470 --> 00:06:09,271
- I'm gonna head back. I'll see you later.
- Okay. Thanks.
170
00:06:09,271 --> 00:06:11,673
- Thanks again.
- Yeah.
171
00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:14,442
What do we think?
Yeah, it's a little boxy.
172
00:06:14,444 --> 00:06:17,278
Where's Funkhouser? Where is he?
173
00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:19,581
- He's always late, this guy.
- I know. So rude.
174
00:06:19,582 --> 00:06:22,983
I say next time, we tell him
a half hour earlier.
175
00:06:22,985 --> 00:06:24,720
- You know what, let's just sit down.
- All right.
176
00:06:24,721 --> 00:06:26,221
We'll have some appetizers,
maybe even order dinner.
177
00:06:26,221 --> 00:06:29,024
- Who cares? Yeah.
- Who cares?
178
00:06:29,024 --> 00:06:30,524
- Hi. Um...
- Hi.
179
00:06:30,526 --> 00:06:32,593
David. Reservation.
180
00:06:32,595 --> 00:06:34,795
Ah! Yes. Party of four.
181
00:06:34,797 --> 00:06:36,363
Are you all here?
182
00:06:36,365 --> 00:06:37,531
No, we have three.
183
00:06:37,533 --> 00:06:39,134
Well, I'm sorry.
184
00:06:39,134 --> 00:06:41,668
We can't seat you until
your entire party arrives.
185
00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:43,870
- Why?
- It's our policy.
186
00:06:43,872 --> 00:06:45,505
We don't seat incomplete parties.
187
00:06:45,507 --> 00:06:47,542
What's the point of the policy?
We have three people.
188
00:06:47,543 --> 00:06:49,576
It's the same table.
What's the difference?
189
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:52,213
The chef really likes
everyone to sit together
190
00:06:52,213 --> 00:06:54,814
so they can order together and he can
deliver the food at the same time.
191
00:06:54,816 --> 00:06:56,375
Oh, the chef likes
everyone to sit together.
192
00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:57,768
- Yes.
- Isn't that nice?
193
00:06:57,769 --> 00:07:00,319
It makes for the optimal
dining experience.
194
00:07:00,321 --> 00:07:02,555
Okay, you know what the
optimal dining experience is?
195
00:07:02,557 --> 00:07:04,557
To eat when you're hungry, okay?
196
00:07:04,559 --> 00:07:06,961
- I understand.
- That's the optimal dining experience.
197
00:07:06,961 --> 00:07:08,394
I'm sorry. That's our policy.
198
00:07:08,396 --> 00:07:10,029
We do not sit incomplete parties.
199
00:07:10,031 --> 00:07:12,365
- Yeah.
- No, this is bullshit.
200
00:07:12,367 --> 00:07:14,867
- I know.
- Guess we'll wait.
201
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:17,303
Hey, I got that paintball
thing secured.
202
00:07:17,305 --> 00:07:18,704
Oh, good for you. That'll be fun.
203
00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:20,606
- They're gonna love it.
- What? What is it?
204
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:23,543
I'm taking the cast and crew
to do, like, a paintball day.
205
00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:25,678
- You know paintball?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fun.
206
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,846
- They shoot paint instead of bullets.
- It's a good bonding.
207
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,915
Yeah, we're gonna do it on Saturday.
208
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:32,418
- Sat... wait. This Saturday?
- Yeah.
209
00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:35,120
It's Sammi's wedding this Saturday.
210
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,488
I thought it was the week after.
211
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:39,358
Oh, God, I sent you the save-the-date,
212
00:07:39,358 --> 00:07:41,093
I sent you the invitation,
213
00:07:41,095 --> 00:07:42,862
you never fucking wrote it down?!
214
00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:45,865
- You sent me too many things!
- Don't make it my fault now!
215
00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:48,199
You know what, I'll work it out.
I can do both.
216
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:50,168
You're making a speech.
You promised Sammi.
217
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,605
All right, I'll work it out.
I'll work it out.
218
00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:54,173
I'm sorry. I'm just a little cranky...
219
00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:55,807
- I'm hungry.
- Me, too.
220
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,375
No, but I'm hungry.
221
00:07:57,377 --> 00:08:00,211
- Yeah, I hear you.
- Yeah. Shall we leave?
222
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,348
We don't have a reservation.
You can't get in anywhere.
223
00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:04,682
It's crazy. You know how I get.
224
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,805
The blood sugar, up
and down, up and down.
225
00:08:06,805 --> 00:08:08,086
Jeff: I know how you get.
226
00:08:08,086 --> 00:08:11,156
Okay, I'm gonna take care of this.
227
00:08:11,156 --> 00:08:13,125
- Stay right here.
- All right.
228
00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:14,827
The food here is great and you know it.
229
00:08:14,829 --> 00:08:15,927
I do.
230
00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:17,728
- Hello.
- Hello.
231
00:08:17,730 --> 00:08:19,730
Are you alone by any chance?
232
00:08:19,731 --> 00:08:22,098
- Perhaps.
- Please do not misconstrue this.
233
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:25,002
This is not a pickup
in any way, shape, or form.
234
00:08:25,002 --> 00:08:27,372
- Okay.
- I don't pick up; I put down.
235
00:08:27,372 --> 00:08:31,274
- Okay.
- Now, the situation is thus:
236
00:08:31,276 --> 00:08:33,811
this restaurant
has an idiotic policy...
237
00:08:35,147 --> 00:08:36,647
Okay, let's go.
238
00:08:37,682 --> 00:08:38,816
We have four.
239
00:08:38,817 --> 00:08:41,384
- Four?
- Yes, four.
240
00:08:41,385 --> 00:08:42,653
Okay.
241
00:08:42,653 --> 00:08:44,921
Table six, please.
242
00:08:51,129 --> 00:08:54,565
- Thanks for joining.
- Of course. I'm hap... happy to be here.
243
00:08:54,566 --> 00:08:57,900
- So what do you do?
- I'm an actress.
244
00:08:57,902 --> 00:08:59,802
- Oh.
- You know, I just figured at 36,
245
00:08:59,803 --> 00:09:01,572
if there's any profession
that you can do
246
00:09:01,572 --> 00:09:04,274
later in life as a woman, it's acting.
247
00:09:04,274 --> 00:09:05,942
Have we seen you in anything?
248
00:09:05,942 --> 00:09:08,912
No, but I'm doing
some plus-size modeling.
249
00:09:08,913 --> 00:09:11,114
- Really?
- And then I do stand-in work.
250
00:09:11,115 --> 00:09:12,849
Okay, she stands in for the star.
251
00:09:12,850 --> 00:09:14,317
- For the camera.
- For the camera.
252
00:09:14,317 --> 00:09:15,885
Right, yeah, I understand.
253
00:09:15,886 --> 00:09:17,254
I'm sorry.
254
00:09:17,254 --> 00:09:19,054
You were the guy with the, uh...
255
00:09:19,056 --> 00:09:20,523
you have the fatwa on you, right?
256
00:09:20,524 --> 00:09:22,125
Yeah, that's-a-me.
257
00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:24,594
What are you doing out?
Aren't you kind of scared?
258
00:09:24,595 --> 00:09:26,162
They called it off.
259
00:09:26,163 --> 00:09:28,264
- So it's over.
- Yeah, but I was out anyway.
260
00:09:28,264 --> 00:09:30,799
- Yeah.
- Yeah, he did. He was brave.
261
00:09:30,801 --> 00:09:32,232
Can I give you a business card?
262
00:09:32,234 --> 00:09:34,389
Sorry, 'cause I'm just realizing
now you're that writer.
263
00:09:34,389 --> 00:09:35,812
Yeah.
264
00:09:35,813 --> 00:09:37,539
I've never done comedy, but
it doesn't seem that hard.
265
00:09:37,540 --> 00:09:39,307
- Hmm.
- Here you go.
266
00:09:39,308 --> 00:09:42,344
- Ah. Marie Deschamps?
- Mmm.
267
00:09:42,345 --> 00:09:45,380
- What are you, French?
- No, it's actually my stage name.
268
00:09:45,381 --> 00:09:47,115
Johnson's my real last name.
269
00:09:47,116 --> 00:09:49,717
- Is Marie your real first name?
- No. Jenny.
270
00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:52,721
All right, well, I'll put
your card in my pocket.
271
00:09:52,721 --> 00:09:55,090
I will never call you, but
I'll put it in my pocket.
272
00:09:55,091 --> 00:09:57,960
And I'm very glad that
that fatwa got cleared up.
273
00:09:57,961 --> 00:09:59,927
- Thank you.
- Does it ever occur to you
274
00:09:59,928 --> 00:10:03,965
that maybe this fatwa thing
is not as over as you think?
275
00:10:03,966 --> 00:10:05,433
You know how the Japanese soldiers,
276
00:10:05,434 --> 00:10:07,235
they'd find them on, like, an island,
277
00:10:07,235 --> 00:10:09,904
and they wouldn't know the war's
been over for a long time?
278
00:10:09,905 --> 00:10:11,706
Maybe someone is so off the grid
279
00:10:11,706 --> 00:10:14,042
that they have no idea
the fatwa's over.
280
00:10:14,043 --> 00:10:15,610
Maybe someone is so stupid
281
00:10:15,610 --> 00:10:18,278
that they say things
they shouldn't be saying.
282
00:10:18,279 --> 00:10:20,414
- Maybe.
- Hello!
283
00:10:20,416 --> 00:10:22,582
- Hey, look who's here.
- Hello. Marie.
284
00:10:22,583 --> 00:10:24,618
Oh, is this a replacement for Bridget?
285
00:10:24,619 --> 00:10:26,153
I recruited her from the bar.
286
00:10:26,154 --> 00:10:27,754
- She's a stand-in for you.
- Oh, great.
287
00:10:27,755 --> 00:10:29,823
We gotta get you a chair.
Where's the waiter?
288
00:10:29,825 --> 00:10:31,392
Yeah. You know what?
289
00:10:31,393 --> 00:10:32,826
You need to go now.
290
00:10:32,827 --> 00:10:34,260
- What?
- Yeah.
291
00:10:34,261 --> 00:10:36,697
You stood in.
Now it's time to stand up.
292
00:10:36,697 --> 00:10:40,634
But, hey, very good job.
Good stand-in job.
293
00:10:40,634 --> 00:10:42,602
- Really?
- But first team has arrived, so...
294
00:10:42,604 --> 00:10:45,004
And listen, Larry,
if you ever need an actor,
295
00:10:45,005 --> 00:10:46,573
you call me, okay?
296
00:10:46,575 --> 00:10:47,841
You never know.
297
00:10:47,842 --> 00:10:49,076
Okay, I'm expecting the call.
298
00:10:49,076 --> 00:10:51,043
Okay... well, I wouldn't go that far.
299
00:10:51,044 --> 00:10:53,779
- Well, hello there.
- That was interesting.
300
00:10:53,780 --> 00:10:55,414
- Yeah.
- Hi.
301
00:10:55,415 --> 00:10:58,750
You know, it's customary
when someone is 20 minutes late
302
00:10:58,751 --> 00:11:01,388
to offer an apology to their friends.
303
00:11:01,389 --> 00:11:03,322
- Am I right?
- That's absolutely correct.
304
00:11:03,323 --> 00:11:05,325
- That's accurate?
- Yes.
305
00:11:05,326 --> 00:11:06,592
Sorry.
306
00:11:06,594 --> 00:11:09,260
What? That's a "sorry"?
307
00:11:09,261 --> 00:11:11,062
Don't insult us with that.
308
00:11:11,063 --> 00:11:12,631
If you're more than ten minutes late,
309
00:11:12,633 --> 00:11:14,466
it's gotta be a profuse apology.
310
00:11:14,467 --> 00:11:16,802
That was an apology
like you were one minute late.
311
00:11:16,803 --> 00:11:18,504
- Am I right?
- He's right.
312
00:11:18,505 --> 00:11:21,541
And frankly, your "sorry" was not
commensurate with the offense.
313
00:11:21,542 --> 00:11:23,075
Can I get a drink?
314
00:11:23,076 --> 00:11:25,076
If I was 20 minutes late,
315
00:11:25,077 --> 00:11:29,181
I'd be apologizing like I
accidentally killed your family.
316
00:11:29,182 --> 00:11:30,849
- Guess what.
- Yeah?
317
00:11:30,850 --> 00:11:33,152
You did accidentally kill my family.
318
00:11:33,153 --> 00:11:35,754
My nephew, the joy of my life,
319
00:11:35,754 --> 00:11:39,190
was killed by the bulls,
and it was your fault!
320
00:11:39,191 --> 00:11:40,725
Okay?!
321
00:11:42,895 --> 00:11:45,062
Sorry.
322
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:48,966
Bottle of wine, anybody?
323
00:11:48,967 --> 00:11:50,769
- Yes! Good idea.
- Yeah.
324
00:11:50,769 --> 00:11:52,102
- Red or white?
- Love red.
325
00:11:52,104 --> 00:11:53,270
So what's happening?
326
00:11:53,272 --> 00:11:56,472
I had a colonoscopy.
Clean as a whistle.
327
00:12:10,255 --> 00:12:11,755
- Hey!
- Hey, good morning, Larry.
328
00:12:11,756 --> 00:12:13,957
Good morning.
329
00:12:13,958 --> 00:12:15,860
Hey, L.D. Thanks for paintball.
330
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:18,461
Oh, y-you're very welcome.
You're very welcome.
331
00:12:18,462 --> 00:12:20,163
Hey, that was so sweet of you.
332
00:12:20,164 --> 00:12:21,831
- Oh. It was nothing.
- Thank you. Really.
333
00:12:21,832 --> 00:12:23,067
- Nothing.
- It's gonna be fun.
334
00:12:23,067 --> 00:12:24,869
- See you inside.
- Okay.
335
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,336
You know what, get me the salmon...
336
00:12:26,336 --> 00:12:28,572
- get me the salmon with the salad.
- Cool.
337
00:12:28,572 --> 00:12:30,039
Thanks for the paintball, L.D.
338
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:31,841
You are very, very welcome.
339
00:12:31,841 --> 00:12:34,544
Speaking of the paintball,
that is so nice.
340
00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:36,113
The crew is freaking out.
341
00:12:36,114 --> 00:12:38,115
Oh, I'm happy to do it.
342
00:12:38,115 --> 00:12:40,984
I love paintball
and I am sorry I can't go.
343
00:12:40,985 --> 00:12:42,251
I have a gig booked.
344
00:12:42,253 --> 00:12:43,386
Shooting a commercial
345
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:46,389
for this feline distemper medication.
346
00:12:46,389 --> 00:12:49,091
I have my shots, so I know
how to deal with the cats.
347
00:12:49,092 --> 00:12:50,826
Mm, ah. What a shame.
348
00:12:50,827 --> 00:12:53,028
How do you have an event like
this without Cody Gutcher?
349
00:12:53,029 --> 00:12:55,331
- I know.
- Huh?
350
00:12:55,331 --> 00:12:56,278
351
00:12:56,278 --> 00:12:58,008
What are they paying you
for this thing, may I ask?
352
00:12:58,009 --> 00:13:01,037
It's my day rate. 1,200.
353
00:13:01,038 --> 00:13:03,139
Okay, you know what?
354
00:13:03,139 --> 00:13:05,274
I'm gonna take care of that for you.
355
00:13:05,274 --> 00:13:06,841
I'll give you the 1,200.
356
00:13:06,842 --> 00:13:09,144
Tell them you can't make it.
You're going to paintball.
357
00:13:09,145 --> 00:13:11,614
- Oh, my God, Larry!
- Huh?
358
00:13:11,615 --> 00:13:12,703
Thank you!
359
00:13:12,705 --> 00:13:14,116
We couldn't do it without
you, Cody Gutcher.
360
00:13:14,118 --> 00:13:16,818
- You gotta be there.
- Thank you so much. You are a prince.
361
00:13:16,820 --> 00:13:19,221
You're welcome,
and let me just say this...
362
00:13:19,221 --> 00:13:20,822
that is a fantastic "thank you."
363
00:13:20,823 --> 00:13:23,591
That was a "thank you"
commensurate with the gesture.
364
00:13:23,592 --> 00:13:25,259
And it's worth it for that "thank you."
365
00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:27,428
- What do you think about that?
- We're gonna have a blast.
366
00:13:27,429 --> 00:13:29,230
I love that "thank you." Love it.
367
00:13:29,231 --> 00:13:30,432
My pleasure.
368
00:13:30,432 --> 00:13:32,735
Jeremy?
369
00:13:32,735 --> 00:13:34,336
- Hey, Murray.
- Ah, Larry.
370
00:13:34,336 --> 00:13:37,404
Oh, listen, about the,
uh... the harem scene.
371
00:13:37,405 --> 00:13:38,773
There's too many redheads.
372
00:13:38,774 --> 00:13:40,375
- Six?
- Yeah.
373
00:13:40,375 --> 00:13:42,076
What do you think? Four?
374
00:13:42,076 --> 00:13:43,544
Yeah, you're right.
375
00:13:43,546 --> 00:13:44,711
I think four. Four is better.
376
00:13:44,712 --> 00:13:46,780
Thanks, thanks.
377
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:49,048
Oh, same pants as yesterday.
378
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:52,720
What, are you tracking my outfits?
379
00:13:52,721 --> 00:13:55,221
No, no, just... observing, that's all.
380
00:13:55,222 --> 00:13:58,459
You know, I was late and they had
the belt in them from yesterday,
381
00:13:58,460 --> 00:14:00,160
so I picked them up
'cause I was in a hurry.
382
00:14:00,162 --> 00:14:02,029
They're not dirty or anything.
383
00:14:02,030 --> 00:14:03,965
Then by all means, wear them again.
384
00:14:03,966 --> 00:14:05,932
You're an outfit tracker, Murray.
385
00:14:05,933 --> 00:14:07,433
Nobody likes an outfit tracker.
386
00:14:07,434 --> 00:14:09,570
I don't know why a casual observation
387
00:14:09,571 --> 00:14:11,605
has made you so uncomfortable.
388
00:14:11,605 --> 00:14:13,807
I just feel like I'm living in some
kind of clothing police state,
389
00:14:13,807 --> 00:14:15,208
like it's 1984.
390
00:14:15,210 --> 00:14:16,610
Big Murray's watching me.
391
00:14:16,610 --> 00:14:18,010
Big Murray's not watching you.
392
00:14:18,011 --> 00:14:19,413
No, Big Murray is watching.
393
00:14:19,413 --> 00:14:21,315
Big Murray has other things to do.
394
00:14:21,316 --> 00:14:24,150
Apparently, Big Murray has nothing
else to do but outfit track.
395
00:14:24,152 --> 00:14:25,518
I'm not judging you,
396
00:14:25,519 --> 00:14:28,054
I'm just noticing that
you wore the same pants.
397
00:14:28,056 --> 00:14:30,389
Okay, Big Murray.
398
00:14:37,298 --> 00:14:40,600
- Robes, robes, robes...
- Hey, L.D., psyched about the paintball.
399
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,068
- Thank you so much.
- Oh, my pleasure! Of course!
400
00:14:43,070 --> 00:14:45,037
You are the kindest. Thank you so much.
401
00:14:45,038 --> 00:14:46,638
Oh, you're so welcome!
402
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,442
- Hey.
- What's up?
403
00:14:49,442 --> 00:14:52,412
I have great news. We got a signer.
404
00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:54,080
For... for deaf people?
405
00:14:54,081 --> 00:14:55,548
Yeah, yeah, for deaf people.
406
00:14:55,548 --> 00:14:56,915
And anyone who enjoys ASL.
407
00:14:56,917 --> 00:14:58,918
I mean, she's basically on the side
408
00:14:58,918 --> 00:15:01,120
and she signs
throughout the performance.
409
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,589
- It's awesome.
- Do deaf people go to musicals?
410
00:15:03,590 --> 00:15:06,024
- Yeah.
- Why don't we just have
411
00:15:06,025 --> 00:15:08,727
one performance a month
for all deaf people?
412
00:15:08,729 --> 00:15:12,163
And we don't have to be
distracted by a signer onstage.
413
00:15:12,164 --> 00:15:14,399
You want to segregate the deaf?
414
00:15:14,399 --> 00:15:16,067
No, I don't want to segregate them.
415
00:15:16,067 --> 00:15:17,869
Yeah, separate, but equal.
416
00:15:17,870 --> 00:15:20,071
Special, but equal.
417
00:15:20,072 --> 00:15:22,139
She's gonna be incredible. You'll see.
418
00:15:22,140 --> 00:15:24,475
It's really inclusive.
Hey, let me ask you something.
419
00:15:24,476 --> 00:15:25,644
Do you like this robe?
420
00:15:25,644 --> 00:15:27,846
I... yeah, it's nice. I like it.
421
00:15:27,846 --> 00:15:29,880
That's what I thought.
We need to see more robes.
422
00:15:29,881 --> 00:15:31,849
You're gonna have to go shopping again.
423
00:15:33,351 --> 00:15:34,551
Thank you.
424
00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:38,623
Okay, you're driving
this poor guy nuts, okay?
425
00:15:38,624 --> 00:15:40,725
- That's the gig.
- He's gonna quit.
426
00:15:40,725 --> 00:15:42,692
No, he's gonna get
in the weeds with us.
427
00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:44,361
He's gonna emerge
with the perfect robe.
428
00:15:44,363 --> 00:15:45,764
Okay, well, I'm telling you,
429
00:15:45,764 --> 00:15:47,631
he's one foot out the door right now.
430
00:15:47,633 --> 00:15:50,268
Well, as long as he's one foot out
the door finding the right robe,
431
00:15:50,269 --> 00:15:51,934
I don't give a fuck.
432
00:15:51,936 --> 00:15:53,803
- Hi!
- Hi!
433
00:15:53,804 --> 00:15:56,139
- Lin! Hi!
- Oh, my God, you made it!
434
00:15:56,140 --> 00:15:57,144
So good to see you.
435
00:15:57,144 --> 00:15:59,543
Hi, Ernst. Great to see you.
How are you?
436
00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:02,211
Larry, this is my cousin
Valentina and her husband Ernst.
437
00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:03,212
Hey, nice to meet you.
438
00:16:03,214 --> 00:16:05,514
- Valentina? Hi.
- Hi. Yeah.
439
00:16:05,515 --> 00:16:07,150
- Hello.
- Hello. Hi.
440
00:16:07,152 --> 00:16:09,019
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you as well.
441
00:16:09,019 --> 00:16:12,022
So, is this the wardrobe area?
Tell me about this place.
442
00:16:12,023 --> 00:16:14,691
Yes, this is the wardrobe area. This is
where all the costumes in the show are.
443
00:16:14,692 --> 00:16:16,326
And we're just getting
everything, uh...
444
00:16:16,326 --> 00:16:19,395
I'm Gregory Michael David.
I'm the costume designer.
445
00:16:19,397 --> 00:16:21,630
- Hi. Valentina.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
446
00:16:21,631 --> 00:16:23,899
- This is your fiefdom.
- Yes, yes!
447
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:26,769
This is the workshop, so, yeah,
feel free to look around.
448
00:16:26,770 --> 00:16:29,806
Yeah, just seems like fun to have
people try on your creations.
449
00:16:29,807 --> 00:16:32,942
Yes. If you wanna try
anything on, please let me know.
450
00:16:32,942 --> 00:16:34,677
Yes. Do you have things in turquoise?
451
00:16:34,678 --> 00:16:36,979
- I could pull some stuff for you, yeah.
- I would love that.
452
00:16:36,980 --> 00:16:38,947
He seems very competent.
453
00:16:38,948 --> 00:16:41,383
Yeah. We're a robe away,
but he's doing great.
454
00:16:41,384 --> 00:16:43,119
I get it.
455
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,719
How long you two been married?
456
00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:47,990
- Um... a few years.
- Yeah.
457
00:16:47,990 --> 00:16:49,390
Kids?
458
00:16:49,392 --> 00:16:50,893
- Mmm, no.
- No.
459
00:16:50,894 --> 00:16:53,861
- We're not gonna have kids.
- No. Cats.
460
00:16:53,863 --> 00:16:55,963
- Why don't you guys go upstairs...
- Okay.
461
00:16:55,965 --> 00:16:58,133
...and I'll give you guys a
tour as soon as I get upstairs.
462
00:16:58,134 --> 00:16:59,900
They've got the directions
to your place.
463
00:16:59,902 --> 00:17:03,371
Yeah, yeah, just go over
anytime, make yourself at home,
464
00:17:03,373 --> 00:17:05,705
and stay as long as you like, actually.
465
00:17:06,675 --> 00:17:08,476
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
466
00:17:11,814 --> 00:17:15,615
All right. I see where you got
your tepid "thank yous" from.
467
00:17:15,616 --> 00:17:17,551
That was worse than your "thank you."
468
00:17:17,553 --> 00:17:20,188
That seemed like a perfectly
appropriate "thank you" to me.
469
00:17:20,189 --> 00:17:21,489
- Oh, did it? Really?
- Yeah.
470
00:17:21,490 --> 00:17:23,057
What is it with you Mirandas?
471
00:17:23,058 --> 00:17:25,026
You're missing some kind of...
472
00:17:25,027 --> 00:17:26,461
"thank you" gene or something.
473
00:17:26,461 --> 00:17:29,364
I think we all said it.
474
00:17:29,365 --> 00:17:31,198
Yeah. Okay.
475
00:17:31,199 --> 00:17:32,767
- Okay, I'll see you upstairs.
- See you upstairs.
476
00:17:32,768 --> 00:17:36,671
Yeah. Let's find a Dumpster
for this bullshit.
477
00:17:36,672 --> 00:17:39,772
Hey, those are from
a rental house, Lin.
478
00:17:41,509 --> 00:17:45,078
Okay, everybody, we're at places,
please, for "Salman, Get Out."
479
00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:47,580
Full tech and music
480
00:17:47,582 --> 00:17:49,715
- Is our signer here?
- Yes, right here.
481
00:17:49,717 --> 00:17:51,351
Come on up here, please.
482
00:17:53,387 --> 00:17:54,820
We have a place for you.
483
00:17:54,822 --> 00:17:57,723
That spike mark, downstage left.
484
00:17:57,724 --> 00:18:00,693
Places for the top!
485
00:18:00,694 --> 00:18:02,528
All right.
486
00:18:02,529 --> 00:18:05,330
Good morning!
Hello, darling.
487
00:18:05,332 --> 00:18:08,835
And breakfast for our guest.
488
00:18:08,836 --> 00:18:10,403
No granola?
489
00:18:10,404 --> 00:18:12,436
Ah, no. I...
490
00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:16,009
You should be grateful.
491
00:18:16,009 --> 00:18:18,010
Hey, uh, Salman, hey,
you should be grateful.
492
00:18:18,011 --> 00:18:20,113
I'm grateful.
I'm just a little tired of muesli,
493
00:18:20,114 --> 00:18:23,582
- You can be grateful and tired of muesli.
- Hey.
494
00:18:23,583 --> 00:18:26,618
- Salman, we have to talk.
- What do you want to talk about?
495
00:18:26,619 --> 00:18:28,487
- We took you into our home.
- (music begins)
496
00:18:28,488 --> 00:18:30,990
You wouldn't have made it on your own.
497
00:18:30,990 --> 00:18:32,924
But now it's time for you to go.
498
00:18:32,925 --> 00:18:35,693
I have to say I'm a little thrown.
499
00:18:35,694 --> 00:18:36,862
500
00:18:36,863 --> 00:18:38,730
- You're a slob.
- You're a pig.
501
00:18:38,731 --> 00:18:42,366
- You're a lazy lout.
- So what are you saying?
502
00:18:42,367 --> 00:18:44,569
♪ Salman, get out! ♪
503
00:18:44,570 --> 00:18:47,138
♪ I'm a great guest,
you hardly know I'm there ♪
504
00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:50,308
♪ You walk around in
a robe with no underwear ♪
505
00:18:50,309 --> 00:18:53,010
♪ If you make me leave,
I'll be dead, no doubt ♪
506
00:18:53,011 --> 00:18:54,578
♪ Ugh! Close your legs ♪
507
00:18:54,579 --> 00:18:56,748
♪ And, Salman, get out ♪
508
00:18:56,749 --> 00:18:58,848
509
00:19:02,821 --> 00:19:04,155
And stay out!
510
00:19:04,156 --> 00:19:06,222
- Don't come back!
- Lose my number!
511
00:19:06,223 --> 00:19:07,759
Go stay with the ayatollah!
512
00:19:07,759 --> 00:19:09,393
♪ Salman, Salman ♪
513
00:19:09,394 --> 00:19:13,832
♪ Salman, Salman, Salman,
Salman, Salman ♪
514
00:19:13,833 --> 00:19:15,231
♪ Salman, get out! ♪
515
00:19:15,232 --> 00:19:17,201
516
00:19:17,201 --> 00:19:19,135
Okay, great!
517
00:19:19,136 --> 00:19:20,939
Great work, everybody.
518
00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:22,739
It was good. Too bad you missed it.
519
00:19:22,740 --> 00:19:24,641
- Oh, no, I... I saw it.
- Yeah.
520
00:19:24,642 --> 00:19:25,675
Lin: Thank you, Cody.
521
00:19:25,676 --> 00:19:27,178
- Thank you.
- Thanks, guys.
522
00:19:27,179 --> 00:19:28,878
- Tina, you're a star. Thank you.
- Thank you.
523
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:30,712
Hey, Larry, can I talk
to you for a sec?
524
00:19:31,883 --> 00:19:34,018
I feel like...
525
00:19:34,019 --> 00:19:36,052
I feel like the number's not working.
526
00:19:36,054 --> 00:19:38,387
- Oh. You know why it's not working?
- Why?
527
00:19:38,388 --> 00:19:39,963
Cause everybody's looking
at her tits, that's why.
528
00:19:39,964 --> 00:19:41,030
What?
529
00:19:41,031 --> 00:19:43,259
Bill didn't see ten
seconds of that number.
530
00:19:43,259 --> 00:19:44,694
He was staring at her the whole time,
531
00:19:44,695 --> 00:19:46,462
as was every other guy in the audience.
532
00:19:46,463 --> 00:19:48,798
It's just the reasons he's
getting kicked out of the house
533
00:19:48,799 --> 00:19:49,900
are so fuckin' petty.
534
00:19:49,901 --> 00:19:51,667
No, I completely disagree with you.
535
00:19:51,669 --> 00:19:53,269
Look, he's a terrible houseguest.
536
00:19:53,269 --> 00:19:55,872
His life depends on his
being a good houseguest.
537
00:19:55,873 --> 00:19:57,874
He's a pig! He doesn't do the dishes!
538
00:19:57,875 --> 00:19:58,941
That's funny!
539
00:19:58,942 --> 00:20:00,542
Maybe we just need different reasons.
540
00:20:00,544 --> 00:20:02,444
Okay, I'll come up
with some other reasons.
541
00:20:02,445 --> 00:20:03,880
- How's that?
- Okay.
542
00:20:03,881 --> 00:20:06,215
- It's not gonna work anyway.
- Why not?
543
00:20:06,217 --> 00:20:08,683
Because men will look
at tits over anything.
544
00:20:08,684 --> 00:20:11,487
You could be in the last
inning of the World Series,
545
00:20:11,488 --> 00:20:13,188
a 3-2 score, bases loaded,
546
00:20:13,189 --> 00:20:14,923
somebody changes the channel
and there's tits on,
547
00:20:14,924 --> 00:20:16,659
they will not go back
to the World Series.
548
00:20:16,660 --> 00:20:19,028
We're on the verge
of making a great musical,
549
00:20:19,028 --> 00:20:20,663
and you're scapegoating tits?
550
00:20:20,663 --> 00:20:23,132
- It's the scene.
- No, it's the tits!
551
00:20:23,133 --> 00:20:24,866
- It's the scene.
- Tits!
552
00:20:24,867 --> 00:20:27,336
- Scene! Scene! Scene!
- Tits! Tits! Tits!
553
00:20:27,336 --> 00:20:29,237
Scene, and she stays.
554
00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:32,473
Sorry.
555
00:20:32,474 --> 00:20:34,709
All right, insufficient "sorry."
556
00:20:34,710 --> 00:20:37,711
Terrible, awful, horrible "sorry."
557
00:20:37,712 --> 00:20:39,480
Apparently, the Miranda "sorrys"
558
00:20:39,481 --> 00:20:42,182
are just as bad as their "thank yous."
559
00:20:43,286 --> 00:20:45,252
You heard me... 1,200.
560
00:20:45,253 --> 00:20:48,623
1,200 fuckin' dollars
to skip a day on his real job
561
00:20:48,624 --> 00:20:50,290
to come with you guys paintballing?
562
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:52,259
- You're a good guy.
- Thank you.
563
00:20:52,260 --> 00:20:54,327
- I respect you for that.
- People don't think I'm a nice guy.
564
00:20:54,328 --> 00:20:55,829
Basically, you're paying
this motherfucker
565
00:20:55,830 --> 00:20:58,199
to shoot people with
a goddamn paint gun.
566
00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,432
See?
567
00:21:00,568 --> 00:21:01,868
You know what I just realized?
568
00:21:01,869 --> 00:21:05,272
- Mm-hmm?
- I gave this guy 1,200,
569
00:21:05,273 --> 00:21:07,708
but he wasn't gonna make 1,200.
570
00:21:07,709 --> 00:21:09,277
- That's his gross.
- Mmm!
571
00:21:09,278 --> 00:21:11,479
They're gonna deduct taxes
from what he's getting.
572
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,615
He'd only wind up with 700 or 750.
573
00:21:14,615 --> 00:21:16,983
The guy just made $500 off me.
574
00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:18,551
You fucked up.
575
00:21:18,553 --> 00:21:20,287
See, when you give somebody money,
576
00:21:20,288 --> 00:21:21,821
you gotta add that
shit up in your brain.
577
00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:23,891
You FICA. You take the
fuckin' difference out!
578
00:21:23,892 --> 00:21:25,692
- You FICA!
- I'm not FICA!
579
00:21:25,693 --> 00:21:27,027
- You "FIC'd" up.
580
00:21:27,028 --> 00:21:28,895
He just made money on you!
581
00:21:28,896 --> 00:21:30,461
582
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,334
Ah. Hello.
583
00:21:34,335 --> 00:21:35,969
Ernest, Valentina.
584
00:21:35,970 --> 00:21:37,769
- Hi.
- Hello, Larry.
585
00:21:37,770 --> 00:21:39,003
Please, come in.
586
00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:44,943
Yeah. Well, this is it.
587
00:21:44,944 --> 00:21:47,012
Looks great.
588
00:21:47,013 --> 00:21:48,582
Oh, man.
589
00:21:48,583 --> 00:21:50,348
Oh, this is Leon.
590
00:21:50,349 --> 00:21:51,784
He lives in my guesthouse.
591
00:21:51,785 --> 00:21:53,653
- Hello, Leon.
- I like that look.
592
00:21:53,653 --> 00:21:56,255
- Yeah, I like that jacket.
- Thank you very much.
593
00:21:56,256 --> 00:21:57,656
My mother gave it to me.
594
00:21:57,657 --> 00:21:59,258
- Your mother gave you the jacket?
- Yes.
595
00:21:59,259 --> 00:22:00,291
It was hers.
596
00:22:00,292 --> 00:22:01,728
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
597
00:22:01,729 --> 00:22:03,361
They make that bag for men?
598
00:22:04,597 --> 00:22:07,266
Yes, this bag is made for men, women,
599
00:22:07,267 --> 00:22:09,701
anybody who enjoys
carrying things around.
600
00:22:09,701 --> 00:22:12,371
- You two are married?
- Yeah. Yes.
601
00:22:12,372 --> 00:22:14,740
So you got on one knee and
asked her to marry you?
602
00:22:14,740 --> 00:22:15,773
No, no, no.
603
00:22:15,775 --> 00:22:17,776
It was during the
intermission of "Swan Lake."
604
00:22:17,777 --> 00:22:19,644
I just looked to her and said,
"Will you marry me?"
605
00:22:19,645 --> 00:22:21,747
Okay, that's a ballet, all right?
You got it?
606
00:22:21,748 --> 00:22:23,714
- Last one.
- No, no! No last one.
607
00:22:23,715 --> 00:22:26,284
Did you get on top of her
on the honeymoon night?
608
00:22:26,285 --> 00:22:27,885
Shut the fuck up. Get out of here.
609
00:22:27,886 --> 00:22:29,487
I'm just asking questions.
610
00:22:29,488 --> 00:22:32,289
Don't ask any more questions, okay?
Shut up.
611
00:22:32,290 --> 00:22:35,160
Um, you guys interested
in a house tour?
612
00:22:35,161 --> 00:22:37,962
- S-Sure.
- Okay.
613
00:22:37,963 --> 00:22:39,730
Will you be joining us, Leon?
614
00:22:39,730 --> 00:22:41,097
Yeah.
615
00:22:41,098 --> 00:22:42,298
Cool.
616
00:22:45,436 --> 00:22:46,936
Is that good?
617
00:22:46,938 --> 00:22:48,539
Dining room, kitchen's that way.
618
00:22:48,540 --> 00:22:49,973
By the way, make yourself at home.
619
00:22:49,974 --> 00:22:51,976
You know, feel free
to use the refrigerator.
620
00:22:51,977 --> 00:22:54,546
You've got refrigerator privileges.
How's that?
621
00:22:54,547 --> 00:22:55,779
- Cool.
- Thank you.
622
00:22:55,780 --> 00:22:59,282
Before I forget,
this little gadget, okay?
623
00:22:59,284 --> 00:23:00,718
Watch this.
624
00:23:00,719 --> 00:23:02,952
You want the curtains down,
you press that button,
625
00:23:02,953 --> 00:23:04,888
now you stop it, and now they go up.
626
00:23:04,890 --> 00:23:06,957
Isn't that great? I love this thing.
627
00:23:06,958 --> 00:23:08,525
Love it.
628
00:23:08,526 --> 00:23:11,194
I don't see why I would ever need that.
629
00:23:11,195 --> 00:23:12,563
No, no! Look, look! See?
630
00:23:12,564 --> 00:23:13,997
Here, look.
631
00:23:13,998 --> 00:23:15,566
Voila!
632
00:23:15,567 --> 00:23:18,501
You're showing us the same function?
633
00:23:18,502 --> 00:23:20,436
Yeah, I guess.
634
00:23:20,438 --> 00:23:22,471
- Hmm.
- Hmm.
635
00:23:22,472 --> 00:23:23,807
Um... oh.
636
00:23:23,807 --> 00:23:25,209
Bedrooms are upstairs,
637
00:23:25,210 --> 00:23:27,943
and, uh, there are
two guest rooms if you'd like.
638
00:23:27,944 --> 00:23:29,746
Whoo!
639
00:23:29,747 --> 00:23:31,948
Why would we need two bedrooms?
640
00:23:31,949 --> 00:23:34,951
No, no... no reason. Uh...
641
00:23:34,951 --> 00:23:36,185
No reason?
642
00:23:36,186 --> 00:23:37,686
We are husband and wife.
643
00:23:37,688 --> 00:23:39,689
We sleep in one bedroom.
644
00:23:39,690 --> 00:23:42,592
No, but I know a lot of people
who sleep in separate bedrooms.
645
00:23:42,593 --> 00:23:43,659
Couples. Yeah.
646
00:23:43,660 --> 00:23:45,194
- Really? Like who?
- Mmm.
647
00:23:45,195 --> 00:23:47,630
You want names?
Okay, I'll give you names.
648
00:23:47,631 --> 00:23:50,633
Um, Pete Rose, Tony Perez,
649
00:23:50,634 --> 00:23:53,435
Johnny Bench, uh, George Foster,
650
00:23:53,436 --> 00:23:54,903
Dave Concepción.
651
00:23:54,903 --> 00:23:57,205
You... you've named
six old baseball players
652
00:23:57,207 --> 00:24:00,008
who are married but sleep
in separate bedrooms?
653
00:24:00,009 --> 00:24:01,576
Yeah.
654
00:24:01,577 --> 00:24:03,444
Even the Hit King?
655
00:24:03,445 --> 00:24:06,714
Yeah. Hit King especially.
656
00:24:06,715 --> 00:24:09,550
Well, we sleep in a bedroom together.
657
00:24:09,551 --> 00:24:11,819
- Yeah.
- You know what, um...
658
00:24:11,820 --> 00:24:14,789
Let's forget about it.
I'm... I'm... I'm sorry.
659
00:24:14,790 --> 00:24:17,291
I'm sorry, was that an apology?
660
00:24:17,292 --> 00:24:18,526
No good?
661
00:24:18,527 --> 00:24:21,229
There wasn't really any emotion to it.
662
00:24:21,230 --> 00:24:24,365
Yeah. Your eyes were bouncing
around like a cat with strings.
663
00:24:24,366 --> 00:24:25,215
Yeah.
664
00:24:25,217 --> 00:24:27,301
Well, I'm really sorry
if my apology was...
665
00:24:27,303 --> 00:24:28,670
was not sufficient.
666
00:24:28,671 --> 00:24:31,071
You've just apologized
for your apology?
667
00:24:31,073 --> 00:24:34,107
- Yes!
- That was better than the first apology.
668
00:24:34,108 --> 00:24:36,542
Why don't you just use that apology?
669
00:24:36,544 --> 00:24:39,113
You know what, Larry,
we're gonna go upstairs
670
00:24:39,114 --> 00:24:42,482
to, uh, the one guest bedroom.
671
00:24:42,483 --> 00:24:44,250
Perfectly acceptable.
672
00:24:53,094 --> 00:24:55,729
You got yourself
in some shit this time.
673
00:24:55,730 --> 00:24:58,063
They're a couple of freaks, man.
674
00:25:03,203 --> 00:25:04,904
Could you believe this kitchen?
675
00:25:04,905 --> 00:25:06,239
- And you know what a great cook I am.
- Yeah.
676
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,307
The meals I make here... right, Jeff?
677
00:25:08,308 --> 00:25:09,083
Yeah.
678
00:25:09,084 --> 00:25:11,310
It must have cost millions
upon millions of dollars.
679
00:25:11,311 --> 00:25:12,711
Well, it's big, but it's intimate.
680
00:25:12,712 --> 00:25:14,013
We sit by the fire.
681
00:25:14,015 --> 00:25:16,082
- It's cozy, it's warm.
- Cozy?
682
00:25:16,083 --> 00:25:17,250
This is cozy?
683
00:25:17,250 --> 00:25:19,451
This is the best party house.
Right, Jeff?
684
00:25:19,452 --> 00:25:20,327
Yeah.
685
00:25:20,328 --> 00:25:22,855
So, did you figure
it out about Saturday?
686
00:25:22,856 --> 00:25:24,923
Yeah, yeah, I got the
whole thing figured out.
687
00:25:24,924 --> 00:25:26,726
I'm gonna go to paintball, then
I'm gonna go to the wedding.
688
00:25:26,727 --> 00:25:29,894
Because Sammi, when I mentioned
that you had some problems
689
00:25:29,895 --> 00:25:32,332
and conflict, you should have
seen the look on her face.
690
00:25:32,333 --> 00:25:34,866
Susie, let me tell you something, okay?
691
00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:37,537
I've known Sammi since she was born.
692
00:25:37,538 --> 00:25:41,373
And one of the great joys
in my life has...
693
00:25:41,374 --> 00:25:45,076
has been watching her blossom into this
beautiful, sophisticated young lady.
694
00:25:45,077 --> 00:25:46,211
Mm-hmm.
695
00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:48,579
I won't miss her wedding. No way.
696
00:25:48,580 --> 00:25:50,648
Oh, Lar, that's so sweet.
Are you serious?
697
00:25:50,650 --> 00:25:53,152
- No.
- All right, just fuckin' be there, okay?
698
00:25:53,153 --> 00:25:54,819
- Okay.
- Don't disappoint me.
699
00:25:54,820 --> 00:25:56,721
- No, I won't.
- So, uh...
700
00:25:56,722 --> 00:25:59,958
Victor's parents are coming
tonight, Lisa and Paul.
701
00:25:59,959 --> 00:26:01,826
And they're deaf, you know.
702
00:26:01,827 --> 00:26:03,862
Oh. What is that, mold?
703
00:26:03,863 --> 00:26:06,163
It's not fucking mold!
It's cheese!
704
00:26:06,164 --> 00:26:07,932
- Cheese? Look at it.
- It's cheese.
705
00:26:07,932 --> 00:26:10,234
- Oh, there's the Chesnicks.
706
00:26:10,236 --> 00:26:11,369
Wait till you meet them.
707
00:26:11,371 --> 00:26:13,771
They are just such sweet people.
708
00:26:13,772 --> 00:26:15,205
709
00:26:15,207 --> 00:26:18,876
By the way, this house... oh, my God.
710
00:26:18,877 --> 00:26:19,818
It's wrong.
711
00:26:19,819 --> 00:26:22,546
Yeah. Unbelievable how
life works, isn't it?
712
00:26:22,547 --> 00:26:24,949
Just to get laid. I'm an idiot.
713
00:26:24,950 --> 00:26:26,351
- Oh.
- All right.
714
00:26:26,352 --> 00:26:28,618
- Okay. Yeah.
- Jeff: Oh, hi!
715
00:26:28,619 --> 00:26:29,921
- How you doing, Victor?
- I'm good, man.
716
00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:31,153
- How you doing?
- Good.
717
00:26:31,154 --> 00:26:32,955
Hey, I want to introduce
my mom and my dad,
718
00:26:32,957 --> 00:26:34,023
Lisa and Paul.
719
00:26:34,025 --> 00:26:35,893
How do you do? Hello.
720
00:26:35,894 --> 00:26:38,662
Hi. Larry. Larry.
721
00:26:38,663 --> 00:26:39,864
Larry.
722
00:26:39,865 --> 00:26:41,365
Rhymes with "Harry."
723
00:26:41,365 --> 00:26:42,599
- Hi, babe.
- What's going on?
724
00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:44,300
- Ask them how they met.
- Yeah.
725
00:26:44,301 --> 00:26:46,002
How did you two meet?
726
00:26:46,003 --> 00:26:48,372
Were you fixed up because you're deaf?
727
00:26:48,373 --> 00:26:51,008
Ugh, stupid fucking question.
728
00:26:51,009 --> 00:26:52,674
No, I'm not asking them that.
729
00:26:52,675 --> 00:26:54,711
- I think it's a good question.
- It's a good question.
730
00:26:54,711 --> 00:26:57,381
I'd be curious, too. I never asked it.
731
00:26:57,382 --> 00:26:59,682
Ah. Bathroom? Around that way.
732
00:26:59,682 --> 00:27:01,182
Yeah, there.
733
00:27:02,153 --> 00:27:03,319
I'm hungry.
734
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:04,953
- Yeah?
- Hungry. Let's eat.
735
00:27:04,954 --> 00:27:06,455
- No. We can't eat yet.
- Why?
736
00:27:06,457 --> 00:27:09,157
- Everybody's not here.
- Who are we waiting for?
737
00:27:09,159 --> 00:27:11,560
- Funkhouser.
- Who else?
738
00:27:11,561 --> 00:27:13,028
What? Again?
739
00:27:13,029 --> 00:27:14,730
He's a guest. We're
waiting for him to eat.
740
00:27:14,731 --> 00:27:16,598
We're not gonna eat before
Funkhouser gets here.
741
00:27:16,599 --> 00:27:18,967
- This is your policy?
- Yes, it's my policy.
742
00:27:20,136 --> 00:27:21,737
Yeah, "hold your horses."
743
00:27:21,738 --> 00:27:22,971
- "Hold your horses"?
- Yeah.
744
00:27:22,972 --> 00:27:24,973
This is... this is "Hold your horses"?
745
00:27:24,974 --> 00:27:26,308
That's a bad sign.
746
00:27:26,309 --> 00:27:29,311
"Hold your horses" is,
"Whoa, pull back!
747
00:27:29,313 --> 00:27:30,612
Hold your horses!"
748
00:27:30,613 --> 00:27:33,015
- Is that it?
- Yeah.
749
00:27:33,016 --> 00:27:34,516
Mine's better than yours.
750
00:27:34,517 --> 00:27:36,384
This? No.
751
00:27:36,385 --> 00:27:39,954
That's "hold your horses."
Yeah. Thank you.
752
00:27:39,955 --> 00:27:42,289
I'll bet I could come up
with some good signs
753
00:27:42,290 --> 00:27:46,193
that would improve sign language.
754
00:27:46,194 --> 00:27:47,795
How about "dog"?
755
00:27:47,796 --> 00:27:49,896
Yeah. Yeah.
756
00:27:49,897 --> 00:27:51,566
- No.
- What would you do?
757
00:27:51,567 --> 00:27:53,233
758
00:27:53,234 --> 00:27:55,403
"Dog."
759
00:27:55,403 --> 00:27:59,271
- I can improve the whole language.
760
00:28:00,275 --> 00:28:01,642
761
00:28:01,643 --> 00:28:03,711
- Bullshit.
- Oh.
762
00:28:03,711 --> 00:28:05,112
- All right, you know what?
- Larry: No.
763
00:28:05,113 --> 00:28:06,780
I have people I want you to meet.
764
00:28:06,781 --> 00:28:09,450
Come with me. Enough of your nonsense.
765
00:28:09,451 --> 00:28:10,951
Hey, did I tell you
766
00:28:10,952 --> 00:28:14,253
that Lin hired a signer for the show?
767
00:28:14,255 --> 00:28:16,655
And she's got big, big boobs!
768
00:28:16,656 --> 00:28:18,459
Very buxomy, you know?
769
00:28:18,460 --> 00:28:20,660
- They're gonna take away from the show.
- Huge!
770
00:28:20,661 --> 00:28:22,761
So distracting. She's, like, big!
771
00:28:22,762 --> 00:28:23,864
- Really?
- Yeah.
772
00:28:23,865 --> 00:28:25,332
I can't wait.
773
00:28:25,333 --> 00:28:28,167
The interpreter
774
00:28:28,169 --> 00:28:29,702
at our show...
775
00:28:29,703 --> 00:28:32,705
A show... ho ho! It's a musical.
776
00:28:32,707 --> 00:28:34,941
Musical. ♪ Hey! Hello! ♪
777
00:28:34,942 --> 00:28:38,577
You know, she has a big...
778
00:28:38,578 --> 00:28:39,679
big bosom.
779
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:41,914
Yeah, the interpreter. Yeah.
780
00:28:41,915 --> 00:28:43,884
Not that big. Yeah.
About... yeah, there.
781
00:28:43,884 --> 00:28:45,986
He likes the bosom.
782
00:28:45,987 --> 00:28:47,619
Oh, I'm so sorry.
783
00:28:47,621 --> 00:28:50,155
I can't begin to apologize enough.
784
00:28:50,156 --> 00:28:52,392
I know I'm late, and I'm sorry!
785
00:28:52,393 --> 00:28:55,394
I'm sorry! I'm so... who's this?
786
00:28:55,395 --> 00:28:57,563
- That's Paul.
- I'm sorry.
787
00:28:57,564 --> 00:28:59,432
- Hey, it's okay.
- I'm so sorry!
788
00:28:59,432 --> 00:29:01,933
- It's a tremendous apology.
- I know, it's horrible!
789
00:29:01,934 --> 00:29:04,201
What can I say
to make it... make it good?
790
00:29:04,202 --> 00:29:06,605
You don't have to say anything.
It's a fantastic apology.
791
00:29:06,605 --> 00:29:08,707
One of the best apologies
I've ever heard!
792
00:29:08,708 --> 00:29:10,174
Gave me the chills, that apology.
793
00:29:10,175 --> 00:29:12,010
Oh, my God! I feel like
getting down on my knees.
794
00:29:12,011 --> 00:29:13,511
I don't know what else to do!
795
00:29:13,512 --> 00:29:15,748
I wish that could be broadcast
on national television
796
00:29:15,749 --> 00:29:18,383
so people could hear what an
apology's supposed to sound like!
797
00:29:18,384 --> 00:29:20,085
- That's why you're my friend.
- Thank you.
798
00:29:20,086 --> 00:29:22,421
What a fantastic
fucking apology that was!
799
00:29:22,422 --> 00:29:24,240
Okay, thank you for...
thank you so much.
800
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:25,222
That was so great.
801
00:29:25,223 --> 00:29:26,723
- Thank you very much.
- That was great.
802
00:29:26,724 --> 00:29:29,126
Thank you. I feel better.
803
00:29:29,127 --> 00:29:31,195
All right, okay. Everybody's here.
804
00:29:31,196 --> 00:29:33,432
- Let's eat!
- Let's eat! Beautiful!
805
00:29:33,432 --> 00:29:35,099
- Let's do it.
- Come on, everybody. Let's go!
806
00:29:35,101 --> 00:29:36,700
Dinner!
807
00:29:38,971 --> 00:29:41,238
- Larry, I want you here.
- Sure.
808
00:29:41,239 --> 00:29:42,707
- There.
- Got it.
809
00:29:42,708 --> 00:29:44,807
810
00:29:46,545 --> 00:29:48,913
Okay, let's try this rewrite.
811
00:29:48,913 --> 00:29:51,147
...darling.
812
00:29:51,148 --> 00:29:53,483
Hello, darling.
Good morning.
813
00:29:53,484 --> 00:29:56,453
- Yes.
- Hey, same pants as yesterday.
814
00:29:56,454 --> 00:29:59,457
What's this? What, are you
tracking my outfits now?
815
00:29:59,458 --> 00:30:01,092
Just an observation.
816
00:30:01,093 --> 00:30:04,095
Huh. You know, for a guy
with so many other concerns,
817
00:30:04,096 --> 00:30:06,997
my trousers should be
at the bottom of your list.
818
00:30:06,998 --> 00:30:07,951
Yes.
819
00:30:07,951 --> 00:30:09,398
Well, as long as we're talking about it,
820
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,534
am I crazy, or have you worn
them three days in a row?
821
00:30:11,535 --> 00:30:13,604
- Oh, come on.
- Hey, do me a favor, all right?
822
00:30:13,605 --> 00:30:15,939
Stop the tracking.
No one likes to be tracked!
823
00:30:15,940 --> 00:30:18,508
Yes. How would you like
it if we tracked you?
824
00:30:18,509 --> 00:30:20,343
Do it. I'm in hiding with four outfits.
825
00:30:20,344 --> 00:30:22,011
You'll never see me doubling up.
826
00:30:22,012 --> 00:30:23,880
You know why? I rotate.
827
00:30:23,881 --> 00:30:26,249
All you gotta do is rotate, baby.
828
00:30:26,250 --> 00:30:27,816
829
00:30:30,554 --> 00:30:33,721
830
00:30:36,692 --> 00:30:39,528
What the hell is going on up there?
831
00:30:39,529 --> 00:30:42,064
What is that?
What is that, incense?
832
00:30:42,065 --> 00:30:44,566
Yeah, that's incense, brother.
833
00:30:44,567 --> 00:30:47,603
You don't burn incense
in someone else's house.
834
00:30:47,604 --> 00:30:50,740
It's like cooking fish or smoking
a cigar. It's a violation.
835
00:30:50,740 --> 00:30:53,541
- What the hell are they doing?
836
00:30:53,542 --> 00:30:55,409
837
00:31:00,182 --> 00:31:02,116
Hi. Is Ernst here?
838
00:31:02,117 --> 00:31:03,584
And Valentina.
839
00:31:04,621 --> 00:31:06,688
- Upstairs.
- Great.
840
00:31:06,689 --> 00:31:08,523
Ooh, lovely home.
841
00:31:08,525 --> 00:31:11,192
Yeah. Yeah, really nice.
842
00:31:11,193 --> 00:31:13,361
Thanks for your hospitality.
843
00:31:19,634 --> 00:31:21,301
844
00:31:21,303 --> 00:31:23,104
- Hell-o.
- Hi.
845
00:31:23,105 --> 00:31:27,207
846
00:31:30,645 --> 00:31:33,181
They're swinging! They're swinging!
847
00:31:33,182 --> 00:31:36,148
848
00:32:03,544 --> 00:32:06,444
849
00:32:08,082 --> 00:32:10,782
- Whoo!
850
00:32:10,784 --> 00:32:12,751
You're a funny guy, man.
851
00:32:12,752 --> 00:32:14,520
You got all this sexual shit going on,
852
00:32:14,521 --> 00:32:16,522
I'm in the guesthouse chilling,
you don't tell me about it?
853
00:32:16,523 --> 00:32:19,425
- How many people were here?
- 15, at least.
854
00:32:19,426 --> 00:32:20,859
Well, why'd you let it go on?
855
00:32:20,861 --> 00:32:22,661
I thought you were in on it!
I didn't know!
856
00:32:22,662 --> 00:32:23,829
Have you lost your mind?
857
00:32:23,830 --> 00:32:25,330
You think I knew
what was going on here?
858
00:32:25,332 --> 00:32:27,333
I thought maybe you
were... were sleepfuckin'.
859
00:32:27,334 --> 00:32:28,968
- I don't know.
- Sleepfuckin'?
860
00:32:28,969 --> 00:32:30,603
Yeah. You know, subconsciously,
861
00:32:30,604 --> 00:32:33,839
your brain is fuckin',
but your conscious mind...
862
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:35,673
I don't think I was sleepfuckin'.
863
00:32:35,674 --> 00:32:38,344
I have a hard enough time wakefuckin'.
How am I gonna sleepfuck?
864
00:32:38,345 --> 00:32:40,278
- Cousins are gone?
- Everybody left.
865
00:32:40,279 --> 00:32:42,748
All right, look, I got paintball today.
866
00:32:42,749 --> 00:32:44,048
We gotta get this place cleaned up.
867
00:32:44,049 --> 00:32:45,550
I can't deal with this today.
868
00:32:45,551 --> 00:32:46,718
Okay, I'll do it.
869
00:32:50,123 --> 00:32:53,224
They ransacked the fridge and
broke the goddamn Jacuzzi, too.
870
00:32:53,226 --> 00:32:55,359
- Bastards.
- What are you doing?
871
00:32:55,361 --> 00:32:57,996
Last time I wore these pants,
F. Murray outfit tracked me.
872
00:32:57,997 --> 00:33:00,365
I can't wear them around him anymore.
My favorite pants.
873
00:33:00,365 --> 00:33:02,333
- That's crazy, man.
- I'm so pissed.
874
00:33:02,334 --> 00:33:04,135
Just wear those.
875
00:33:04,136 --> 00:33:05,702
- These?
- Those are nice.
876
00:33:05,703 --> 00:33:07,371
Fine.
877
00:33:08,740 --> 00:33:10,540
Jesus, I'm so goddamn late.
878
00:33:10,541 --> 00:33:12,542
879
00:33:12,544 --> 00:33:14,679
Josh, I love you. You're
gonna get fuckin' shellacked
880
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:15,980
if you're dancing out there.
881
00:33:15,980 --> 00:33:18,048
We're out here playing paintball, man!
882
00:33:18,048 --> 00:33:20,451
I go for the big dog.
883
00:33:20,451 --> 00:33:21,786
884
00:33:21,787 --> 00:33:23,755
I actually upgraded mine.
885
00:33:23,756 --> 00:33:25,888
Are you guys getting bitten up?
886
00:33:28,192 --> 00:33:30,527
- Hey. This is amazing.
- Hey!
887
00:33:30,528 --> 00:33:34,698
Yeah, uh, first of all,
so glad to see you here.
888
00:33:34,699 --> 00:33:36,133
You did it. You did this.
889
00:33:36,134 --> 00:33:39,502
I did, but something
did occur to me, though,
890
00:33:39,503 --> 00:33:41,005
um, however.
891
00:33:41,006 --> 00:33:44,540
Uh, if you had taken that commercial,
892
00:33:44,541 --> 00:33:46,375
the gross would have been 1,200,
893
00:33:46,376 --> 00:33:50,980
but the net would have been, like, 700.
894
00:33:50,980 --> 00:33:52,415
Maybe 750.
895
00:33:52,416 --> 00:33:54,150
Yeah, something like that.
896
00:33:54,151 --> 00:33:55,384
897
00:33:55,385 --> 00:33:57,453
I'm actually...
898
00:33:57,454 --> 00:33:59,556
kind of losing money on this deal.
899
00:33:59,557 --> 00:34:02,692
'Cause if you were
only gonna make $700,
900
00:34:02,692 --> 00:34:04,894
and I gave you 1,200,
901
00:34:04,894 --> 00:34:09,199
you know, it kind of feels
like you owe me... 500.
902
00:34:09,199 --> 00:34:10,967
Am I wrong?
903
00:34:10,967 --> 00:34:12,735
- Larry, you gave me this gift.
- Yes.
904
00:34:12,735 --> 00:34:14,871
- I called you a prince.
- I am a prince.
905
00:34:14,871 --> 00:34:18,005
Now you're asking me
for a portion of the gift back.
906
00:34:18,007 --> 00:34:20,007
You're making a profit off this!
907
00:34:20,009 --> 00:34:21,710
I'm gonna call you a prick.
908
00:34:21,711 --> 00:34:24,213
With all due respect,
you are the prick.
909
00:34:24,213 --> 00:34:25,914
For accepting your gift?
910
00:34:25,914 --> 00:34:28,050
It shouldn't be a gift, though.
I'm not giving you a gift.
911
00:34:28,050 --> 00:34:30,385
- Wait, hang on, hang on.
- I'm not FICA.
912
00:34:30,387 --> 00:34:31,820
I paid you the gross,
913
00:34:31,822 --> 00:34:34,222
and I should have paid you the net.
914
00:34:34,224 --> 00:34:36,291
Why do you keep hiking
your britches up?
915
00:34:36,291 --> 00:34:38,293
Because I couldn't wear the
same pants two days in a row
916
00:34:38,293 --> 00:34:40,061
because I got an outfit tracker here,
917
00:34:40,063 --> 00:34:42,597
so I had to take these pants,
and they're too big on me,
918
00:34:42,597 --> 00:34:44,632
and I didn't have time
to put a belt on!
919
00:34:44,632 --> 00:34:46,500
I'm not giving you the money back.
920
00:34:49,005 --> 00:34:51,239
Have fun today, Larry.
921
00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:52,873
I'm not the bad guy here!
922
00:34:52,875 --> 00:34:56,177
I'm... I'm losing... uh...
923
00:34:56,177 --> 00:34:58,278
I... I'm not the bad guy.
924
00:34:58,280 --> 00:34:59,614
- Hey, Lar.
- Hey, Carly.
925
00:34:59,614 --> 00:35:00,882
- How you doing?
- Good.
926
00:35:00,882 --> 00:35:03,751
Larry, could I have
a word with you, please?
927
00:35:03,753 --> 00:35:06,119
If it isn't Big Murray. Hey.
You know what, Big Murray?
928
00:35:06,121 --> 00:35:09,155
'Cause of you, I couldn't wear
my favorite gray corduroys,
929
00:35:09,157 --> 00:35:11,557
and now I'm wearing pants
that are way too big for me.
930
00:35:11,559 --> 00:35:14,929
That's what I wanted to talk to you
about... that scene in the kitchen.
931
00:35:14,929 --> 00:35:16,197
Funny, huh?
932
00:35:16,197 --> 00:35:18,365
Well, it was a little insulting to me.
933
00:35:18,367 --> 00:35:21,135
Why? Nobody knows you're the
one who outfit tracked me.
934
00:35:21,135 --> 00:35:23,369
Oh, you make me very uncomfortable.
935
00:35:23,371 --> 00:35:26,172
- You know, you're judging me.
- I wasn't judging you.
936
00:35:26,172 --> 00:35:28,509
It felt like it was a thin
disguise for insulting me.
937
00:35:28,510 --> 00:35:31,478
No. I would insult you right
to your face, Big Murray.
938
00:35:31,478 --> 00:35:34,014
That's what I would think, that
you should insult me to my face,
939
00:35:34,014 --> 00:35:36,483
but the problem is, now I feel like
940
00:35:36,483 --> 00:35:38,619
I'm being tracked
because of what you did.
941
00:35:38,619 --> 00:35:41,153
I can't get up in the morning
anymore without thinking,
942
00:35:41,155 --> 00:35:44,391
"Oh, gotta be careful.
Big Larry's watching you."
943
00:35:44,391 --> 00:35:46,826
Big Larry is not tracking Big Murray.
944
00:35:46,827 --> 00:35:48,961
Big Larry is tracking Big Murray.
945
00:35:48,963 --> 00:35:52,465
Big Larry has better things
to do than track Big Murray.
946
00:35:52,465 --> 00:35:53,900
Then why are you writing it all down?
947
00:35:53,900 --> 00:35:55,635
Hey, Larry, can I talk to you a second?
948
00:35:55,635 --> 00:35:57,268
- Excuse me, Murray. I'm sorry.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
949
00:35:57,269 --> 00:35:59,137
Be careful what you say
around this guy, huh?
950
00:35:59,139 --> 00:36:00,972
He's a Murray tracker!
951
00:36:00,974 --> 00:36:03,375
There's your outfit tracker,
right there.
952
00:36:03,376 --> 00:36:05,978
Hey, what's this I hear about you
asking Cody Gutcher for his money back?
953
00:36:05,978 --> 00:36:08,246
Yeah, I asked Cody Gutcher
for my money back, yeah.
954
00:36:08,248 --> 00:36:10,650
But not all of it.
Just the money he owed me.
955
00:36:10,650 --> 00:36:13,684
Cody Gutcher is one of the best company
managers in the fuckin' country!
956
00:36:13,686 --> 00:36:15,753
We almost lost him to "Spring
Awakening," and we have him!
957
00:36:15,755 --> 00:36:17,822
I don't give a shit if Cody Gutcher
goes to "Spring Awakening!"
958
00:36:17,824 --> 00:36:20,125
I'm nice enough to give him $1,200,
959
00:36:20,126 --> 00:36:22,226
and he steals 450 of it!
960
00:36:22,228 --> 00:36:25,197
You're nice enough to do the gesture.
Finish the gesture.
961
00:36:25,197 --> 00:36:27,766
I did finish the gesture, then I
was expecting a gesture from him!
962
00:36:27,766 --> 00:36:29,967
No. "Here's a gesture. Where's
my gesture back, motherfucker?!"
963
00:36:29,969 --> 00:36:31,436
That's your version of a gesture?
964
00:36:31,436 --> 00:36:32,971
You got something off your chest.
Are you happy?
965
00:36:32,972 --> 00:36:34,706
- Yeah.
- I got something on my chest, okay?
966
00:36:34,706 --> 00:36:35,606
Go for it.
967
00:36:35,606 --> 00:36:38,208
Valentina Miranda and
her husband Ernst,
968
00:36:38,210 --> 00:36:40,277
who I was generous enough
to let stay in my house...
969
00:36:40,278 --> 00:36:42,447
Yeah, and I said, "Thank you."
970
00:36:42,447 --> 00:36:44,715
- They're swingers.
- Yeah, I know.
971
00:36:44,717 --> 00:36:46,784
You know they're swingers,
you don't tell me?!
972
00:36:46,784 --> 00:36:48,818
I told you they were
an interesting couple.
973
00:36:48,820 --> 00:36:50,021
"Interesting" is not "swinging!"
974
00:36:50,021 --> 00:36:51,655
I was there when you met them.
975
00:36:51,655 --> 00:36:53,858
You said, "Make yourself at home.
Stay as long as you want."
976
00:36:53,858 --> 00:36:56,693
- So they entertained.
- Entertained?! That's playing mah-jongg!
977
00:36:56,695 --> 00:36:59,197
This was like a Roman
orgy, like Caligula!
978
00:36:59,197 --> 00:37:01,038
You know what you do in
someone else's house?
979
00:37:01,039 --> 00:37:02,632
- What?
- You tiptoe.
980
00:37:02,634 --> 00:37:05,335
You say please, you say
thank you, you clean up.
981
00:37:05,335 --> 00:37:06,971
"May I use your refrigerator?"
982
00:37:06,972 --> 00:37:09,974
Guests tiptoe! That's what you do!
983
00:37:09,974 --> 00:37:12,510
Oh, no, I wanna have fun at the
fuckin' Larry David house.
984
00:37:12,510 --> 00:37:14,911
Tiptoe and play mah-jongg,
that's your idea of fuckin' fun.
985
00:37:14,913 --> 00:37:16,646
You should've seen.
They trashed the whole house!
986
00:37:16,648 --> 00:37:20,750
And you know what else?
They broke my curtain remote!
987
00:37:20,751 --> 00:37:23,552
- What the fuck's a curtain remote?
- A curtain remote?
988
00:37:23,554 --> 00:37:26,922
It opens and closes, opens
and closes the curtains!
989
00:37:26,923 --> 00:37:28,492
Who needs a curtain remote?
990
00:37:28,492 --> 00:37:30,460
You fuckin' do this!
That's how you open a curtain!
991
00:37:30,460 --> 00:37:31,894
You've obviously never
used a curtain remote.
992
00:37:31,896 --> 00:37:33,829
Who would need one? It's a curtain!
993
00:37:33,831 --> 00:37:35,565
It's a good thing! It's a fun thing!
994
00:37:35,565 --> 00:37:37,934
If you ever did it, you
wouldn't even think about it!
995
00:37:37,934 --> 00:37:39,268
Well, I'm never coming to your house,
996
00:37:39,268 --> 00:37:40,601
'cause I don't want to tiptoe around
997
00:37:40,603 --> 00:37:42,538
and maybe get refrigerator privileges!
998
00:37:42,539 --> 00:37:44,539
You gesture-rescinding motherfucker!
999
00:37:44,541 --> 00:37:47,342
- That's right. That's right.
1000
00:37:47,342 --> 00:37:50,646
At least I don't have cousins
who are sex degenerates!
1001
00:37:50,646 --> 00:37:52,447
1002
00:37:52,447 --> 00:37:54,148
- What'd you say about my family?
- You Mirandas!
1003
00:37:54,150 --> 00:37:56,050
You don't give proper "thank yous,"
1004
00:37:56,052 --> 00:37:57,885
you don't give proper "sorrys,"
1005
00:37:57,885 --> 00:37:59,786
and you're a bunch of sex perverts!
1006
00:37:59,788 --> 00:38:02,523
Oh!
1007
00:38:02,525 --> 00:38:04,458
You've besmirched
the honor of my family,
1008
00:38:04,460 --> 00:38:06,360
and I demand satisfaction.
1009
00:38:07,628 --> 00:38:11,132
Satisfaction... you shall have.
1010
00:38:11,132 --> 00:38:13,300
(all murmuring)
1011
00:38:14,835 --> 00:38:17,336
It's a duel.
1012
00:38:17,338 --> 00:38:19,940
These proceedings shall fall
under the auspices
1013
00:38:19,942 --> 00:38:23,543
of the Code Duello... Irish version.
1014
00:38:23,545 --> 00:38:26,346
I'm given to understand
that one of the gentlemen
1015
00:38:26,347 --> 00:38:29,016
has perceived a slight
and demands satisfaction.
1016
00:38:29,016 --> 00:38:30,684
That's correct.
1017
00:38:30,684 --> 00:38:33,253
This is your final
chance to offer an apology,
1018
00:38:33,253 --> 00:38:34,887
thereby saving face.
1019
00:38:34,889 --> 00:38:36,722
No apology is forthcoming.
1020
00:38:36,724 --> 00:38:38,992
Very well. We shall proceed.
1021
00:38:38,992 --> 00:38:40,726
Gentlemen, choose your weapon.
1022
00:38:45,266 --> 00:38:49,902
Will anyone present stand as the
second to the offended party?
1023
00:38:49,903 --> 00:38:51,170
I will.
1024
00:38:51,170 --> 00:38:52,706
Will anyone present stand forth
1025
00:38:52,706 --> 00:38:54,740
as the second to the transgressor?
1026
00:38:54,742 --> 00:38:57,143
I will.
1027
00:38:57,143 --> 00:38:59,311
Swell.
1028
00:38:59,313 --> 00:39:01,847
If the principals would
please hand their weapons
1029
00:39:01,849 --> 00:39:03,248
to their seconds
1030
00:39:03,250 --> 00:39:06,385
to be inspected and loaded
with one projectile.
1031
00:39:06,385 --> 00:39:08,721
- I don't know how to do this.
- What?
1032
00:39:08,722 --> 00:39:11,090
Why'd you volunteer for second if
you don't know what you're doing?
1033
00:39:11,090 --> 00:39:13,726
I'm from Newport Beach.
I've never loaded a gun before.
1034
00:39:13,726 --> 00:39:15,327
Give me the paintball.
1035
00:39:15,329 --> 00:39:17,795
- That's it. There's nothing to it.
- Sorry.
1036
00:39:17,797 --> 00:39:20,864
Very well. Please stand back-to-back.
1037
00:39:25,237 --> 00:39:27,106
Gentlemen, on my count,
1038
00:39:27,106 --> 00:39:30,242
you will proceed to walk ten paces,
1039
00:39:30,242 --> 00:39:31,777
at which point you will turn,
1040
00:39:31,777 --> 00:39:34,746
aim your weapons, and fire.
1041
00:39:37,048 --> 00:39:40,083
And ten, nine...
1042
00:39:40,085 --> 00:39:43,253
1043
00:39:45,590 --> 00:39:49,226
...eight, seven...
1044
00:39:52,331 --> 00:39:55,099
...six, five,
1045
00:39:55,099 --> 00:39:58,235
four, three,
1046
00:39:58,235 --> 00:40:00,603
two, one!
1047
00:40:00,605 --> 00:40:02,739
1048
00:40:02,740 --> 00:40:05,976
- Lin!
- Oh, my God! >It's in his mouth!
1049
00:40:05,978 --> 00:40:08,945
- Come on, Larry.
- It was... it was an accident!
1050
00:40:08,947 --> 00:40:10,648
I was gonna fire in the air!
1051
00:40:10,648 --> 00:40:13,349
Aaron Burr!
1052
00:40:13,351 --> 00:40:16,052
- Aaron Burr!
- I'm not Aaron Burr!
1053
00:40:16,054 --> 00:40:18,086
- No, no, no!
- Lin!
1054
00:40:20,157 --> 00:40:21,990
1055
00:40:26,362 --> 00:40:28,664
Where the fuck is he?
He says he was gonna be here!
1056
00:40:28,666 --> 00:40:30,701
- I don't know.
- I'm gonna fucking kill him.
1057
00:40:30,702 --> 00:40:33,903
Family, friends, and loved ones,
1058
00:40:33,905 --> 00:40:36,005
we are gathered here today to celebrate
1059
00:40:36,007 --> 00:40:38,541
one of life's greatest moments...
1060
00:40:38,541 --> 00:40:42,911
the joining of two lives
in this union we call marriage.
1061
00:40:42,913 --> 00:40:45,581
Victor and Sammi have asked you today
1062
00:40:45,583 --> 00:40:47,083
to be here to bear witness
1063
00:40:47,083 --> 00:40:48,884
and to offer your love and support
1064
00:40:48,885 --> 00:40:52,487
as they embark on this next
chapter of their lives.
1065
00:40:52,489 --> 00:40:56,226
Victor, we would be remiss if we
didn't thank you for your service.
1066
00:40:56,226 --> 00:41:01,030
Now, please take each other's
hands for your vows.
1067
00:41:01,030 --> 00:41:04,130
Victor, do you take
Sammi to be your wife?
1068
00:41:04,130 --> 00:41:05,201
I do.
1069
00:41:05,202 --> 00:41:07,202
Do you commit yourself to her happiness
1070
00:41:07,204 --> 00:41:10,103
and self-fulfillment as a person?
1071
00:41:11,340 --> 00:41:13,407
I... I do. I do.
1072
00:41:13,409 --> 00:41:14,606
Do you promise to love...
1073
00:41:14,606 --> 00:41:16,978
All right, enough, enough.
Excuse me, miss.
1074
00:41:16,978 --> 00:41:18,547
- Out. You gotta go.
- What? What?
1075
00:41:18,547 --> 00:41:19,813
Get the hell outta here.
1076
00:41:19,815 --> 00:41:21,583
- And cover up!
- What?
1077
00:41:21,583 --> 00:41:23,016
Sorry, everybody.
1078
00:41:23,018 --> 00:41:25,454
It had to be done. We'll just continue.
1079
00:41:25,454 --> 00:41:28,123
C-Continue. Continue.
1080
00:41:28,123 --> 00:41:30,190
1081
00:41:30,192 --> 00:41:32,159
I'm not Burr. I'm not Burr.
1082
00:41:32,161 --> 00:41:33,561
I was gonna fire in the air!
1083
00:41:33,561 --> 00:41:34,896
You shot right at me, Larry.
1084
00:41:34,896 --> 00:41:36,297
No, it's Murray's fault,
1085
00:41:36,297 --> 00:41:37,766
because he was outfit tracking me
1086
00:41:37,766 --> 00:41:39,300
and I had to put on
a different pair of pants,
1087
00:41:39,300 --> 00:41:40,835
and they were too big
for me and they fell.
1088
00:41:40,835 --> 00:41:42,971
- Anyway, I'm so sorry.
1089
00:41:42,972 --> 00:41:45,239
I'm really, really sorry.
1090
00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:48,342
Really... truly sorry.
1091
00:41:48,342 --> 00:41:50,510
- That's a pretty good apology.
- Really?
1092
00:41:50,512 --> 00:41:53,347
- It's commensurate with the offense.
- Yes?
1093
00:41:53,347 --> 00:41:56,583
Do you wanna apologize for falling
asleep during "Hamilton"?
1094
00:41:56,585 --> 00:41:57,376
Oh!
1095
00:41:57,376 --> 00:41:59,653
My wife told me you were
practically on her shoulder.
1096
00:41:59,655 --> 00:42:01,289
Okay, what happened was,
1097
00:42:01,289 --> 00:42:03,856
I had a pain pill in my
pocket that Jeff gave me,
1098
00:42:03,858 --> 00:42:06,458
because I injured my shoulder
wrestling with you.
1099
00:42:06,460 --> 00:42:08,128
So in a way, you're a little...
1100
00:42:08,128 --> 00:42:09,929
I'm at fault for you
sleeping through my show?
1101
00:42:09,931 --> 00:42:11,364
I did see part of the show.
1102
00:42:11,364 --> 00:42:13,632
I have to say, I loved it.
It was terrific.
1103
00:42:13,634 --> 00:42:16,068
- Thank you.
- ♪ My name is Alexander Hamilton... ♪
1104
00:42:16,070 --> 00:42:17,771
I didn't see the end of the first act.
1105
00:42:17,771 --> 00:42:19,273
♪ And there's a million
things I haven't... ♪
1106
00:42:19,273 --> 00:42:20,539
- That's the very first song.
- Yeah.
1107
00:42:20,541 --> 00:42:22,074
- I'm gonna go back.
- Okay.
1108
00:42:22,074 --> 00:42:23,643
Any chance you could, uh...
1109
00:42:23,643 --> 00:42:25,844
I have to see what they say,
if they have tickets.
1110
00:42:25,846 --> 00:42:26,974
Two tickets. What's the...
1111
00:42:26,974 --> 00:42:29,114
I don't run the ticket
office, Larry David.
1112
00:42:29,115 --> 00:42:31,550
Make a phone call. What do you mean?
You wrote the show.
1113
00:42:31,552 --> 00:42:33,219
Oh, my God.
1114
00:42:33,219 --> 00:42:34,987
Hey, hey, you're spitting on me!
1115
00:42:34,987 --> 00:42:37,623
- Cover your mouth when you cough.
- Man, fuck you.
1116
00:42:37,625 --> 00:42:39,590
Oh, my God.
1117
00:42:39,592 --> 00:42:42,228
I gotta get to
Jeff's daughter's wedding!
1118
00:42:42,228 --> 00:42:43,594
- I'm late!
- What?
1119
00:42:43,596 --> 00:42:45,331
Yes, yeah, I'm speaking there! Hey!
1120
00:42:45,331 --> 00:42:47,065
- Driver.
- Hey, what the...
1121
00:42:47,067 --> 00:42:50,501
Can we make a quick stop?
It's just at that light.
1122
00:42:50,503 --> 00:42:51,971
It's about a half a mile
and you go up the hill.
1123
00:42:51,972 --> 00:42:53,972
And you can drop me off.
It's two minutes.
1124
00:42:53,974 --> 00:42:55,807
No. This is not no fuckin' Uber.
1125
00:42:55,809 --> 00:42:58,242
We gotta get this man to the hospital.
He's injured.
1126
00:42:58,244 --> 00:43:00,945
It's gonna be a lot worse for me.
You don't know this woman.
1127
00:43:00,947 --> 00:43:04,248
Fuck that woman! And fuck her wedding.
Get in the back.
1128
00:43:04,250 --> 00:43:05,784
- Okay.
- Fuck!
1129
00:43:05,784 --> 00:43:07,686
Somebody strap him in!
1130
00:43:07,686 --> 00:43:10,989
1131
00:43:10,989 --> 00:43:14,226
Oh, yeah. Wait a second.
1132
00:43:14,226 --> 00:43:16,228
Wait a second, Charlie.
1133
00:43:16,228 --> 00:43:17,862
Who are you calling, Larry?
1134
00:43:17,864 --> 00:43:19,530
- This woman I met in a bar.
1135
00:43:19,530 --> 00:43:22,632
You're trying to get laid
on the way to the hospital?
1136
00:43:22,634 --> 00:43:25,369
Hey, Marie. It's Larry David.
1137
00:43:25,371 --> 00:43:26,871
Remember, I met you in the bar
1138
00:43:26,873 --> 00:43:29,539
and you came and sat
at the table with us?
1139
00:43:29,541 --> 00:43:31,775
Hey, I got a job for you.
1140
00:43:31,777 --> 00:43:34,010
1141
00:43:41,487 --> 00:43:44,721
Jeffrey, where's Larry?
He's still not here?
1142
00:43:44,722 --> 00:43:46,923
- I don't know.
- But we have to start the speeches.
1143
00:43:46,925 --> 00:43:47,958
Well, start the speeches!
1144
00:43:47,958 --> 00:43:49,826
Get the fuck outta my face!
1145
00:43:49,827 --> 00:43:52,096
Go away! Do the... the patrons.
1146
00:43:52,097 --> 00:43:55,298
- What are you doing?
- Go do your job somewhere. Go!
1147
00:43:55,300 --> 00:43:57,134
Jeff, can you call him again?
1148
00:43:57,135 --> 00:43:59,235
I'm not trying him again.
I called him, he didn't answer.
1149
00:43:59,237 --> 00:44:01,538
I'm here. Hi. Sorry I'm late.
1150
00:44:01,539 --> 00:44:03,106
Oh, I'm Marie from the restaurant.
1151
00:44:03,106 --> 00:44:05,375
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- What are you doing here?
1152
00:44:05,376 --> 00:44:07,110
Hi. Larry couldn't be here...
1153
00:44:07,110 --> 00:44:09,344
- ...but he asked me to stand in.
1154
00:44:09,346 --> 00:44:12,148
And don't worry, I have his speech.
1155
00:44:12,148 --> 00:44:13,516
1156
00:44:13,518 --> 00:44:16,351
1157
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:19,789
"Hi. I'm Larry David."
1158
00:44:19,789 --> 00:44:21,056
Oh, no.
1159
00:44:21,057 --> 00:44:24,027
Her name's Marie. Larry rents her.
1160
00:44:24,027 --> 00:44:27,429
"And I just want to say how
thrilled I am to be here today,
1161
00:44:27,431 --> 00:44:29,731
and I am especially honored
to have been asked
1162
00:44:29,733 --> 00:44:32,969
to speak at this blessed event.
1163
00:44:32,969 --> 00:44:36,204
I have known Sammi... _
1164
00:44:36,204 --> 00:44:39,340
for her entire life, and frankly, I don't
even think she likes me very much.
1165
00:44:39,342 --> 00:44:42,911
But I'm pretty sure I
feel that way about everybody.
1166
00:44:42,913 --> 00:44:45,713
Sammi, I wish I had advice to offer you
1167
00:44:45,715 --> 00:44:48,182
on how to have a successful marriage,
1168
00:44:48,184 --> 00:44:50,717
but I'll just offer you two words:
1169
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:52,487
- separate bathrooms."
- Separate bathrooms.
1170
00:44:52,487 --> 00:44:54,521
Okay, that's fine. Thank you very much.
1171
00:44:54,523 --> 00:44:56,797
So, Sammi and... what's
your name again, sir?
1172
00:44:56,798 --> 00:44:58,025
Thank you very much.
1173
00:44:58,027 --> 00:44:59,327
- Victor.
- Oh, Victor!
1174
00:44:59,329 --> 00:45:01,596
You need to be going right now.
Thank you.
1175
00:45:01,597 --> 00:45:03,090
I'm sorry, everyone...
1176
00:45:03,092 --> 00:45:04,333
Susie, can I, for my reel,
get a copy of that?
1177
00:45:04,333 --> 00:45:05,367
Yeah, good-bye.
1178
00:45:05,367 --> 00:45:07,469
Enjoy... uh, enjoy
1179
00:45:07,469 --> 00:45:10,235
the rest of the... party.
1180
00:45:16,778 --> 00:45:19,481
I talked to Lin's doctors.
1181
00:45:19,481 --> 00:45:22,182
They said he'll be fine
in about six months.
1182
00:45:22,184 --> 00:45:24,885
But he's moving on to other projects.
1183
00:45:24,885 --> 00:45:27,887
He's done. "Fatwa!" is over.
1184
00:45:27,889 --> 00:45:30,056
Our investments are gone.
1185
00:45:30,057 --> 00:45:32,559
Lewis lost money, Danson lost money.
1186
00:45:32,559 --> 00:45:34,760
I lost a ton, okay?
1187
00:45:34,762 --> 00:45:37,697
I told all these ladies I was
a big-time Broadway producer.
1188
00:45:37,699 --> 00:45:39,632
Now I ain't shit.
1189
00:45:39,634 --> 00:45:41,166
So how much did we lose, Jeffrey?
1190
00:45:41,168 --> 00:45:43,335
We lost a lot of money.
1191
00:45:43,336 --> 00:45:45,271
We're... we're gonna
have to sell the house.
1192
00:45:45,271 --> 00:45:48,574
We are not selling that fuckin' house.
1193
00:45:50,711 --> 00:45:53,612
Didn't you wear that sweater yesterday?
1194
00:45:55,884 --> 00:45:57,617
What did you say?
1195
00:45:57,617 --> 00:45:59,684
What the fuck did you just say?
1196
00:45:59,686 --> 00:46:01,286
Well, don't get so excited. It was...
1197
00:46:01,288 --> 00:46:02,922
Yeah, I wore this sweater yesterday.
1198
00:46:02,922 --> 00:46:05,358
So what? What, are you
outfit tracking me?
1199
00:46:05,358 --> 00:46:08,360
I'm not outfit tracking you.
I asked you a simple question.
1200
00:46:08,362 --> 00:46:10,663
Sure sounds like you're
outfit tracking. So what?
1201
00:46:10,664 --> 00:46:13,666
I didn't work out in it. I wasn't on the
subway. I didn't go in public toilets.
1202
00:46:13,666 --> 00:46:15,735
The sweater's clean. You can wear
a sweater two days in a row.
1203
00:46:15,735 --> 00:46:17,737
It's not a shirt. I don't wear
a shirt two days in a row.
1204
00:46:17,737 --> 00:46:20,139
- It's just a sweater.
- What are you, a fuckin' lunatic?
1205
00:46:20,139 --> 00:46:21,974
You're an outfit tracker
and I don't like it!
1206
00:46:21,974 --> 00:46:24,043
You can wear the same
sweater two days in a... oh!
1207
00:46:24,043 --> 00:46:26,512
Here's your fruit salad
and your veggie burger.
1208
00:46:26,512 --> 00:46:30,248
Oh, veggie burger. Beautiful, beautiful.
Thank you.
1209
00:46:30,250 --> 00:46:32,650
Hello?
1210
00:46:32,652 --> 00:46:33,818
Where's my food?
1211
00:46:33,818 --> 00:46:36,721
Aw. We'll start.
1212
00:46:36,722 --> 00:46:38,923
Mmm. This is fantastic!
1213
00:46:38,925 --> 00:46:40,659
Mmm!
1214
00:46:40,659 --> 00:46:41,692
Great!
1215
00:46:45,398 --> 00:46:49,500
♪ For a spoonful of sugar ♪
1216
00:46:49,501 --> 00:46:52,235
♪ Helps the medicine go down ♪
1217
00:46:52,237 --> 00:46:54,371
♪ The medicine go down ♪
1218
00:46:54,373 --> 00:46:55,907
♪ The medicine go down ♪
1219
00:46:55,907 --> 00:46:59,342
- ♪ For a spoonful of sugar... ♪
- Hey! Hey!
1220
00:46:59,344 --> 00:47:01,512
I know who you are.
1221
00:47:01,512 --> 00:47:05,382
Yeah. You're Larry David.
1222
00:47:06,518 --> 00:47:09,586
- No, no, no...
1223
00:47:09,588 --> 00:47:11,355
The fatwa's... the fatwa's over!
1224
00:47:11,356 --> 00:47:13,056
- They called the fatwa off!
- I don't believe you!
1225
00:47:13,057 --> 00:47:15,193
You're a liar! You're a blasphemer!
1226
00:47:15,193 --> 00:47:17,295
- No! No! Didn't they tell you?
1227
00:47:17,295 --> 00:47:19,929
No! No, it's true! They called it off!
1228
00:47:19,931 --> 00:47:21,364
No! No!
1229
00:47:21,364 --> 00:47:23,400
- They... they called it off!
- Stop! Stop!
1230
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:24,400
No! No!
1231
00:47:24,402 --> 00:47:27,237
Larry David, I am gonna kill you!
1232
00:47:27,237 --> 00:47:28,472
It's over!
1233
00:47:28,541 --> 00:47:32,858
1234
00:47:33,074 --> 00:47:36,777
92079
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