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"Will & Grace" is recorded
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in front of a live studio audience.
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Okay, so let's see.
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You and Jenny have both had
the level two ultrasound
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00:00:07,323 --> 00:00:08,948
and done all the scary genetic tests.
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Right.
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We've taken Lamaze, baby-proofed,
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ordered cribs and changing tables.
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Done. Check.
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00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,898
You both started your prenatal Pilates
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and have been going
twice a week for four weeks.
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That's on me.
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Okay, so, we'vdone everything we need to.
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I think we can actually relax.
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It feels so good!
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We are crushing pregnancy, Will.
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Should we write a book about it?
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We could call it
"Will and Grace Crush Babies."
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00:00:38,354 --> 00:00:40,488
And get Casey Anthony
to do the audiobook.
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00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:45,660
Open up, I've got a baby emergency!
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00:00:45,662 --> 00:00:47,395
Larry? What are you...
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Oh!
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You must be Larry's granddaughter!
24
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And your name is...
25
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Wheat.
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Her name is Wheat.
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- So pretty.
- Beautiful name, yeah.
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It's a ridiculous name.
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I need your TV.
30
00:01:05,415 --> 00:01:06,581
Our cable's out.
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00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:09,884
For some reason, the sound
of Bobby Flay grilling meat
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is the only thing that puts her to sleep.
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Grace too.
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How's Hannah doing as a mom?
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She had to take a break
from college, right?
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She dropped out to make
green juice for dogs.
37
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But Hannah always seemed so together.
38
00:01:26,769 --> 00:01:29,370
Wake up, Grace. That was all a front.
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Joe and I were the first
gay couple we knew with a baby,
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so we had to say she was perfect.
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Her life went off the rails
in kindergarten.
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00:01:38,915 --> 00:01:40,781
What, did she get hooked
on graham crackers?
43
00:01:40,783 --> 00:01:43,378
And here comes Will with his jokes!
44
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We waited too long
45
00:01:45,388 --> 00:01:47,888
to sign her up
for the best elementary school,
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so she didn't get
in to the best high school,
47
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and after that, it was a train wreck.
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I thought she went to NYU.
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Northern Yonkers University.
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Their motto is, "Let's call it a day."
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Don't make the same mistake.
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Set your children on the right
path before it's too late.
53
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Oh, well, we did the research.
54
00:02:08,327 --> 00:02:10,927
We want them to go
to that school in Harlem...
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Global Citizens Academy.
56
00:02:13,178 --> 00:02:15,545
Like, all of their kids
end up going to Ivy League.
57
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You're already signed up?
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Well, they're not even born yet.
59
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Then you're already too late.
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00:02:21,524 --> 00:02:23,424
They fill up years in advance.
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What?
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Come on, we gotta get
to that school right now.
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00:02:27,697 --> 00:02:28,696
Now?
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00:02:28,698 --> 00:02:29,930
I promised Jenny I'd help her
65
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with some new internet thing she's doing.
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00:02:31,634 --> 00:02:33,501
Well, send Jack,
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unless you want our kids
to be dog-juice-making losers.
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Sorry.
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No, shame her mother in front of her.
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She needs to learn.
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Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
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00:03:03,032 --> 00:03:04,832
Doesn't that feel so good?
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00:03:04,834 --> 00:03:06,534
Oh, my God, I can totally
feel the tingling
74
00:03:06,536 --> 00:03:08,402
on the top of my head.
75
00:03:08,404 --> 00:03:10,799
Like whenever Chris Pine is in the city.
76
00:03:11,541 --> 00:03:13,674
So that's the point of an ASMR video.
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You make sounds that trigger
responses in your brain
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that help you relax.
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And people pay for that?
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Hell yeah, they do.
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I once curled ribbons for 20 minutes
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and made 600 bucks.
83
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How did I not know about this?
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I curl ribbons every day for free.
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Well, I'm stoked that you're doing this,
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because it's much better with two people.
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00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:33,060
Just be glad it's me and not Will.
88
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Yeah, I know we're not
supposed to say this
89
00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:35,730
about women anymore,
90
00:03:35,732 --> 00:03:37,534
but Will is so shrill.
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00:03:38,461 --> 00:03:40,495
- Let's do a practice one.
- Okay.
92
00:03:41,537 --> 00:03:43,571
So, remember
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to speak softly,
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and over-articulate
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your consonants.
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00:03:52,849 --> 00:03:55,182
Right.
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00:03:55,184 --> 00:03:58,085
It's like what my new acting teacher,
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00:03:58,087 --> 00:04:00,421
Tracy Pecosta,
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00:04:00,423 --> 00:04:01,922
taught me to do
100
00:04:01,924 --> 00:04:04,125
so that I don't sound
101
00:04:04,127 --> 00:04:07,939
like a homosexual.
102
00:04:08,530 --> 00:04:12,865
It's bedtime, so don't forget
to brush your teeth.
103
00:04:19,876 --> 00:04:21,536
And your hair.
104
00:04:27,984 --> 00:04:30,818
I like to do it 50 times
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on each side
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for a total of...
107
00:04:39,095 --> 00:04:41,264
100 times.
108
00:04:42,732 --> 00:04:45,900
Well, thanks again
for coming all the way out.
109
00:04:45,902 --> 00:04:49,399
Honey, the ride up here
was worth the ride in here.
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00:04:49,401 --> 00:04:51,005
And after what we just did,
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I may have to borrow that thing.
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I can see myself out.
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No way.
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A gentleman always rolls a lady
to the door.
115
00:05:01,984 --> 00:05:02,983
True,
116
00:05:02,985 --> 00:05:06,754
but you, sir, are no gentleman.
117
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No, I'm not.
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There's the door, woman.
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I'll see you tomorrow, Jenny.
120
00:05:13,863 --> 00:05:15,029
Hey, Kar.
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I didn't know you were gonna be here.
122
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I would've asked for a ride up.
123
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But I'm already here.
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Can't argue with that.
125
00:05:21,170 --> 00:05:24,605
So, uh, you and Luke, huh?
126
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Getting a tune-up?
127
00:05:27,977 --> 00:05:30,711
- Oh!
- Ooh, yeah!
128
00:05:30,713 --> 00:05:33,113
Rotating your tires?
129
00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:36,617
Woo!
130
00:05:36,619 --> 00:05:38,619
Just getting my oil changed,
131
00:05:38,621 --> 00:05:41,283
getting my fluids topped off.
132
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Getting all my points and plugs adjusted.
133
00:05:49,665 --> 00:05:51,209
Yeah.
134
00:05:52,869 --> 00:05:54,796
We're talking about sex, right?
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00:05:55,972 --> 00:05:57,705
Honey, what are you doing here?
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00:05:57,707 --> 00:06:00,307
Oh, I'm helping Jenny
with this ASMR thing.
137
00:06:00,309 --> 00:06:01,742
Oh, fun.
138
00:06:01,744 --> 00:06:03,878
I used to make those videos for Stan
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00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,646
when he was out of town.
140
00:06:05,648 --> 00:06:07,047
Nothing put that man to sleep
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00:06:07,049 --> 00:06:09,978
like the bubbling of melting cheese.
142
00:06:11,053 --> 00:06:12,686
Hey, we're livestreaming tomorrow.
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- You should do it with us.
- Oh, I don't know, honey.
144
00:06:15,024 --> 00:06:15,990
With the baseball team
145
00:06:15,992 --> 00:06:18,826
and all the work piling up
at Grace's office...
146
00:06:18,828 --> 00:06:20,094
I'd love to.
147
00:06:20,096 --> 00:06:21,729
Oh, great! Okay.
148
00:06:21,731 --> 00:06:23,063
Hey, can I get a ride back?
149
00:06:23,065 --> 00:06:24,993
Sorry, I'm already gone.
150
00:06:25,935 --> 00:06:27,454
Just my luck.
151
00:06:29,205 --> 00:06:30,337
Oh, you must be Jack.
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00:06:30,339 --> 00:06:32,873
Oh, and you're Luke.
153
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Thank you for your service
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of my best friend.
155
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I do it for God and country.
156
00:06:39,792 --> 00:06:41,192
Yeah, I don't want to hear the specifics.
157
00:06:42,808 --> 00:06:45,542
I'm just happy she finally
got herself a booty buddy.
158
00:06:45,588 --> 00:06:46,854
A booty buddy?
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00:06:46,856 --> 00:06:48,589
Yeah, well, since the divorce,
160
00:06:48,591 --> 00:06:50,357
I've been telling her
she needs to find someone
161
00:06:50,359 --> 00:06:52,192
who's just there for sex, you know?
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No strings attached,
no emotional blah-blah,
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just sex.
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00:06:57,033 --> 00:06:58,032
And that's me?
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00:06:58,034 --> 00:07:00,568
Say it with pride, soldier!
166
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You're Karen Walker's boy toy!
167
00:07:04,373 --> 00:07:05,439
Her boy toy?
168
00:07:05,441 --> 00:07:08,075
Well, that was more wistful
than, you know, pride,
169
00:07:08,077 --> 00:07:10,844
but you've probably never
worked with a director before.
170
00:07:14,866 --> 00:07:17,701
And now we're in the Hall of Mindfulness,
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because here at Global Citizens,
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we don't want our students
to just be present
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in their attendance.
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00:07:23,909 --> 00:07:25,075
- Ooh, that's good.
- I like that.
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00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:26,877
That's good, yeah.
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00:07:34,019 --> 00:07:36,219
Our third-graders
have a concert coming up
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00:07:36,221 --> 00:07:38,188
in seven months.
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Don't worry, they'll get there.
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Shall we sit?
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00:07:53,038 --> 00:07:56,039
Love an alternative seat.
181
00:07:56,041 --> 00:07:59,042
Why just sit when you can work your core?
182
00:07:59,044 --> 00:08:00,477
That structure is really cool.
183
00:08:00,479 --> 00:08:02,546
The sixth-grade
woodworking class built it
184
00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:05,882
using wood rescued
from various hurricanes.
185
00:08:05,884 --> 00:08:08,251
It's a permanent reminder
that something beautiful
186
00:08:08,253 --> 00:08:09,886
can be made from tragedy.
187
00:08:09,888 --> 00:08:11,154
Oh, I know.
188
00:08:11,156 --> 00:08:12,289
After Hurricane Sandy,
189
00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:15,125
I found the most comfortable
sweatshirt on the street.
190
00:08:19,064 --> 00:08:21,234
I washed it.
191
00:08:22,067 --> 00:08:24,134
Thanks for squeezing us in,
Ms. Hinder-Haagen.
192
00:08:24,136 --> 00:08:26,209
This place is amazing.
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00:08:26,211 --> 00:08:29,105
I actually saw kids running
into math class.
194
00:08:29,107 --> 00:08:32,075
I hated math!
195
00:08:32,077 --> 00:08:33,510
Did I say math? I meant...
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00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:35,278
racism.
197
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:39,483
Excuse me?
198
00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:41,766
Headmistress Hinder-Haagen,
is this a bad time?
199
00:08:41,791 --> 00:08:42,757
How can I help you?
200
00:08:42,759 --> 00:08:45,393
An issue has arisen in the robotics lab.
201
00:08:45,395 --> 00:08:47,361
Our AI has become sentient.
202
00:08:47,363 --> 00:08:49,964
However, its corporeal host
is still in beta testing.
203
00:08:49,966 --> 00:08:51,766
My God, you do that here?
204
00:08:51,768 --> 00:08:53,567
That's incredible!
205
00:08:53,569 --> 00:08:55,903
- You'll explain...
- Later, yeah, shh.
206
00:08:55,905 --> 00:08:58,406
Farhan is our Student Admissions Liaison.
207
00:08:58,408 --> 00:08:59,517
You'll be meeting with him
208
00:08:59,519 --> 00:09:00,942
for the second part of this process.
209
00:09:00,944 --> 00:09:03,411
If I may ask, how old is your child?
210
00:09:03,413 --> 00:09:04,812
And how do they identify?
211
00:09:04,814 --> 00:09:06,747
Oh, ah, well, no children yet.
212
00:09:06,749 --> 00:09:09,450
Grace's is due in April, mine in May,
213
00:09:09,452 --> 00:09:12,553
and my pronouns are "he"
and "is terrified."
214
00:09:15,491 --> 00:09:16,958
We didn't know there were two children.
215
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,392
Oh, we're not married.
216
00:09:18,394 --> 00:09:19,293
We're just friends,
217
00:09:19,295 --> 00:09:21,729
but we both want our kids to go here.
218
00:09:21,731 --> 00:09:23,397
Oh, that's going to be a problem.
219
00:09:23,399 --> 00:09:24,899
For 2024 enrollment,
220
00:09:24,901 --> 00:09:26,434
we only have one spot available.
221
00:09:26,436 --> 00:09:27,635
One?
222
00:09:27,637 --> 00:09:28,836
That's in five years!
223
00:09:28,838 --> 00:09:30,338
Mm, four years.
224
00:09:30,340 --> 00:09:31,605
Four years.
225
00:09:37,013 --> 00:09:38,579
You decent?
226
00:09:38,581 --> 00:09:40,689
'Cause I can wait till you're not.
227
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,017
What's up?
228
00:09:43,019 --> 00:09:46,487
Oh, I'm just helping
your sister with her video,
229
00:09:46,489 --> 00:09:48,489
but afterward, I thought it'd be fun
230
00:09:48,491 --> 00:09:50,992
if we had a little picnic.
231
00:09:50,994 --> 00:09:54,095
Oh, darn.
232
00:09:54,097 --> 00:09:57,831
These aren't sandwiches,
they're sex toys.
233
00:09:58,468 --> 00:10:00,101
And a bag of chips for after,
234
00:10:00,103 --> 00:10:03,771
'cause we're gonna need the potassium.
235
00:10:03,773 --> 00:10:05,806
Yeah, I'm not really feeling it.
236
00:10:05,808 --> 00:10:06,841
Oh.
237
00:10:06,843 --> 00:10:08,843
I'm sorry, I can't be
your booty call today.
238
00:10:08,845 --> 00:10:10,544
Booty call?
239
00:10:10,546 --> 00:10:12,387
Where'd you get that idea?
240
00:10:13,449 --> 00:10:14,949
It doesn't matter.
241
00:10:14,951 --> 00:10:15,916
I mean, we already agreed
242
00:10:15,918 --> 00:10:17,852
that if our kids can't go
to the same school,
243
00:10:17,854 --> 00:10:18,853
it's not the school for us.
244
00:10:18,855 --> 00:10:20,121
Right, we're a packaged deal.
245
00:10:20,123 --> 00:10:21,139
Their loss, not ours.
246
00:10:21,141 --> 00:10:23,791
Didn't get in?
247
00:10:23,793 --> 00:10:24,992
Shh!
248
00:10:24,994 --> 00:10:26,994
I finally got Wheat to sleep.
249
00:10:26,996 --> 00:10:29,730
And yes, it is 11:45 in the morning,
250
00:10:29,732 --> 00:10:31,948
and I'm having a drink.
251
00:10:32,468 --> 00:10:34,402
If I'm still awake in 20 minutes,
252
00:10:34,404 --> 00:10:36,871
I'm going to take a bath.
253
00:10:36,873 --> 00:10:39,040
How long are you planning
on staying here?
254
00:10:39,042 --> 00:10:42,083
As long as that demon's unconscious.
255
00:10:43,646 --> 00:10:45,646
Look, there's no way either of you
256
00:10:45,648 --> 00:10:47,648
were getting in to Global Citizens.
257
00:10:47,650 --> 00:10:49,350
You're not diverse enough.
258
00:10:49,352 --> 00:10:50,818
What are you talking about? I'm gay.
259
00:10:53,923 --> 00:10:56,991
What do you think this is? 2009?
260
00:10:56,993 --> 00:11:00,494
I tried to play the gay card
to get Hannah in.
261
00:11:00,496 --> 00:11:02,430
CeeCee said, "Just gay?"
262
00:11:02,432 --> 00:11:05,023
And laughed me out of their planetarium.
263
00:11:05,568 --> 00:11:07,817
Well, I'm a single mom, so.
264
00:11:08,571 --> 00:11:10,104
I'm also Jewish.
265
00:11:10,106 --> 00:11:13,198
So is every building on that campus.
266
00:11:14,010 --> 00:11:14,942
Well, it doesn't matter,
267
00:11:14,944 --> 00:11:16,877
'cause we're done with Global Citizens.
268
00:11:16,879 --> 00:11:18,846
There's plenty of other
good schools in this city.
269
00:11:18,848 --> 00:11:19,914
You know what, you're right.
270
00:11:19,916 --> 00:11:21,515
I don't even want my kid to go there.
271
00:11:21,517 --> 00:11:23,017
Me neither.
272
00:11:23,019 --> 00:11:25,186
I love that we always agree.
273
00:11:25,188 --> 00:11:27,188
Thank you so much for seeing me again,
274
00:11:27,190 --> 00:11:28,347
Headmistress Hinder-Haagen.
275
00:11:28,349 --> 00:11:29,412
Of course.
276
00:11:29,414 --> 00:11:32,478
I know how important
diversity is to this school.
277
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:33,727
It is,
278
00:11:33,729 --> 00:11:36,597
and your child would be diverse
how, exactly?
279
00:11:36,599 --> 00:11:38,732
I'm just gonna bottom line it.
280
00:11:38,734 --> 00:11:40,683
I don't know who the father is.
281
00:11:41,571 --> 00:11:42,536
So, girl to girl,
282
00:11:42,538 --> 00:11:44,163
tell me what diversity
you're looking for,
283
00:11:44,165 --> 00:11:45,980
'cause I've probably slept with it.
284
00:11:47,777 --> 00:11:50,444
You know, I know that gay
is done to death,
285
00:11:50,446 --> 00:11:53,447
but I'm gonna make the argument
that it is back in a big way.
286
00:11:53,449 --> 00:11:54,949
Can you feel me, girl?
287
00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,553
I guess you cannot.
288
00:12:05,314 --> 00:12:07,448
Buttons.
289
00:12:10,086 --> 00:12:12,953
Cellophane.
290
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:20,060
Lorazepam.
291
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:26,000
Since we're live,
292
00:12:26,002 --> 00:12:29,136
if there are any sounds
you would like to hear
293
00:12:29,138 --> 00:12:31,105
or questions you have,
294
00:12:31,107 --> 00:12:32,773
just hit us up.
295
00:12:32,775 --> 00:12:35,738
I have a question.
296
00:12:37,179 --> 00:12:38,879
Who told Luke
297
00:12:38,881 --> 00:12:42,249
that he was just a booty call?
298
00:12:45,561 --> 00:12:49,196
That... was me.
299
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,214
Why?
300
00:12:54,397 --> 00:12:57,010
Why not?
301
00:12:58,300 --> 00:13:01,869
Do you have any idea
302
00:13:01,871 --> 00:13:05,272
how furious I am?
303
00:13:06,842 --> 00:13:10,778
It's kind of hard to tell.
304
00:13:12,214 --> 00:13:15,516
I could make it clearer.
305
00:13:20,222 --> 00:13:21,922
Would you two
306
00:13:21,924 --> 00:13:24,858
like to take this outside?
307
00:13:24,860 --> 00:13:29,196
Why, that's a great idea.
308
00:13:29,198 --> 00:13:31,002
Or...
309
00:13:31,934 --> 00:13:34,835
it's a bad idea,
310
00:13:34,837 --> 00:13:37,905
because Karen's rings
311
00:13:37,907 --> 00:13:40,345
leave welts.
312
00:13:41,911 --> 00:13:45,725
Welts.
313
00:13:46,248 --> 00:13:49,083
I had a good thing going,
314
00:13:49,085 --> 00:13:52,519
and you ruined it.
315
00:13:52,521 --> 00:13:56,861
Stop yelling at me.
316
00:13:58,094 --> 00:13:59,593
Why don't you just try
317
00:13:59,595 --> 00:14:02,429
being honest with my brother?
318
00:14:02,431 --> 00:14:04,098
I will.
319
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:05,966
But first,
320
00:14:05,968 --> 00:14:07,868
I would like
321
00:14:07,870 --> 00:14:09,916
to reach across
322
00:14:09,918 --> 00:14:12,473
this table
323
00:14:12,475 --> 00:14:16,243
and pull your balls...
324
00:14:21,576 --> 00:14:25,556
out through your ears.
325
00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:30,921
Mr. Truman, give me one good reason
326
00:14:30,923 --> 00:14:32,926
why your child should have
the final spot?
327
00:14:32,928 --> 00:14:34,294
Okay.
328
00:14:34,296 --> 00:14:35,539
Okay.
329
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,397
We're at that part of the conversation.
330
00:14:37,399 --> 00:14:40,300
I'm not above writing a check.
331
00:14:40,302 --> 00:14:42,069
One to the school,
332
00:14:42,071 --> 00:14:44,454
and one to a certain little guy
333
00:14:44,456 --> 00:14:47,662
who I'm sure wants
the newest Nintendo Switch.
334
00:14:48,577 --> 00:14:52,246
I made $15,000 last week
shorting Apple stock.
335
00:14:53,516 --> 00:14:55,482
And if I want a Nintendo Switch,
336
00:14:55,484 --> 00:14:57,217
I'll build one.
337
00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:02,856
Well, this has been very...
338
00:15:02,858 --> 00:15:04,846
informative.
339
00:15:05,528 --> 00:15:07,494
Is there anything else you can think of
340
00:15:07,496 --> 00:15:09,329
that would help your case?
341
00:15:09,331 --> 00:15:10,597
Oh, okay.
342
00:15:10,599 --> 00:15:12,332
I thought we'd get here.
343
00:15:12,334 --> 00:15:15,636
Just so you know, I'm not above
writing a check
344
00:15:15,638 --> 00:15:17,942
to a certain lady
345
00:15:17,944 --> 00:15:21,909
who may want a new iPhone case.
346
00:15:25,783 --> 00:15:27,201
I'm good.
347
00:15:27,983 --> 00:15:30,651
Ah, looks like Farhan's ready
to meet with you now.
348
00:15:33,364 --> 00:15:36,223
Oh, my God. You came here behind my back?
349
00:15:36,225 --> 00:15:38,025
You came here behind my back!
350
00:15:38,027 --> 00:15:40,882
Yeah, but that's totally on brand for me.
351
00:15:41,664 --> 00:15:44,174
Look, I am just trying to do
what's best for my child.
352
00:15:44,199 --> 00:15:45,331
Yeah, but so am I.
353
00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:48,668
But let's face it, Grace,
I mean, given the parents,
354
00:15:48,670 --> 00:15:50,703
mine is obviously gonna be
a better candidate
355
00:15:50,705 --> 00:15:51,995
for this school.
356
00:15:51,997 --> 00:15:53,172
What do you mean by that?
357
00:15:53,174 --> 00:15:55,208
Well, you know, it's a very
358
00:15:55,210 --> 00:15:57,310
academically oriented environment.
359
00:15:57,312 --> 00:15:58,384
And?
360
00:15:58,386 --> 00:16:00,680
And I am very academically oriented.
361
00:16:00,682 --> 00:16:03,182
I'm a professor at Columbia Law School.
362
00:16:03,184 --> 00:16:04,499
Look, it's a little bit more
363
00:16:04,501 --> 00:16:06,252
than picking out tassels
for throw pillows.
364
00:16:06,254 --> 00:16:09,410
And there it is.
365
00:16:10,161 --> 00:16:12,425
You think I'm dumb.
366
00:16:12,427 --> 00:16:15,221
And you think my kid is gonna be dumb.
367
00:16:15,223 --> 00:16:18,027
I do not think your kid is gonna be dumb.
368
00:16:18,029 --> 00:16:19,545
Thank you.
369
00:16:20,168 --> 00:16:21,631
Wait.
370
00:16:22,570 --> 00:16:25,371
You just need to feel smarter
because you know
371
00:16:25,373 --> 00:16:27,240
that everyone likes me best.
372
00:16:27,242 --> 00:16:29,442
"Better" is the word you use
when comparing two options.
373
00:16:29,444 --> 00:16:32,745
And this is why everyone likes me best.
374
00:16:32,747 --> 00:16:34,547
Oh, whatever, this isn't
a school for people
375
00:16:34,549 --> 00:16:36,182
with more Facebook friends.
376
00:16:36,184 --> 00:16:37,709
It's a school for smart people.
377
00:16:37,711 --> 00:16:39,285
Well, why don't you
just homeschool your kid?
378
00:16:39,287 --> 00:16:42,889
That way, you can teach him
how to have a stick up his ass.
379
00:16:42,891 --> 00:16:44,570
Excuse me?
380
00:16:45,126 --> 00:16:47,226
We try to keep the energy neutral
381
00:16:47,228 --> 00:16:49,328
in the Mindfulness Hallway.
382
00:16:51,266 --> 00:16:52,912
- He started it.
- She's dumb.
383
00:17:01,951 --> 00:17:03,984
Just wanted to say good-bye.
384
00:17:05,821 --> 00:17:07,988
Listen,
385
00:17:07,990 --> 00:17:10,220
about the whole "booty call" thing...
386
00:17:10,245 --> 00:17:11,311
I get it.
387
00:17:11,444 --> 00:17:13,544
It's not like you were
coming up here once a week
388
00:17:13,546 --> 00:17:16,894
so we could pick out timeshares
in Vermont together.
389
00:17:17,483 --> 00:17:19,516
Vermont.
390
00:17:19,518 --> 00:17:21,618
Like that's even a thing.
391
00:17:24,723 --> 00:17:26,356
It's 'cause of this, right?
392
00:17:26,358 --> 00:17:28,492
Oh, honey, no.
393
00:17:28,494 --> 00:17:30,527
That just makes it more fun.
394
00:17:30,529 --> 00:17:32,162
It adds an element of danger,
395
00:17:32,164 --> 00:17:34,832
like doing it
on the "Jurassic Park" ride.
396
00:17:36,502 --> 00:17:38,635
The one in Orlando, not California.
397
00:17:41,574 --> 00:17:43,240
The truth is,
398
00:17:43,242 --> 00:17:45,965
I've had a rough time this last year.
399
00:17:46,479 --> 00:17:49,146
I guess a booty call
400
00:17:49,148 --> 00:17:51,345
is about all I can handle right now.
401
00:17:52,225 --> 00:17:55,760
Well, I think I'm looking
for a little more.
402
00:17:55,855 --> 00:17:57,852
Are you breaking up with me?
403
00:17:59,572 --> 00:18:02,373
Well, you better lawyer up,
you ungrateful mother...
404
00:18:02,398 --> 00:18:03,663
Oh!
405
00:18:08,780 --> 00:18:10,907
Sorry, reflex. Okay.
406
00:18:12,033 --> 00:18:14,538
What I'm trying to say is,
407
00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:17,908
I'm glad that you're ready
to get back out there.
408
00:18:17,910 --> 00:18:20,333
Well, I think some of that's
thanks to you.
409
00:18:21,460 --> 00:18:23,002
Happy to help.
410
00:18:31,357 --> 00:18:32,720
Hey.
411
00:18:33,893 --> 00:18:35,723
One more for the road?
412
00:18:37,285 --> 00:18:38,262
Why not?
413
00:18:38,264 --> 00:18:40,264
This picnic's not gonna spank itself.
414
00:18:48,774 --> 00:18:50,738
Well, this is humiliating.
415
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:53,550
Yes, it is.
416
00:18:53,575 --> 00:18:54,725
Thanks to you.
417
00:18:54,764 --> 00:18:55,746
Me?
418
00:18:55,748 --> 00:18:57,038
You're the one who used half the words
419
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,955
on the forbidden word wall!
420
00:19:00,452 --> 00:19:03,654
Again, the Contrition Cubby
is for gentle reflection,
421
00:19:03,656 --> 00:19:05,455
not hostility.
422
00:19:05,457 --> 00:19:07,588
Well, it should have a TV.
423
00:19:08,594 --> 00:19:10,794
It's my sociology project.
424
00:19:10,796 --> 00:19:13,451
It's a commentary on mass incarceration.
425
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:15,299
Without personal accountability,
426
00:19:15,301 --> 00:19:17,334
one can never be truly free.
427
00:19:19,678 --> 00:19:22,579
Fine, I'm sorry I called you dumb.
428
00:19:22,604 --> 00:19:23,603
You're not.
429
00:19:23,642 --> 00:19:25,565
And I'm sorry I said
430
00:19:26,144 --> 00:19:28,211
nobody liked you.
431
00:19:28,236 --> 00:19:29,368
It's not everyone.
432
00:19:29,393 --> 00:19:31,070
Just the people we know.
433
00:19:32,284 --> 00:19:34,451
- We good?
- No.
434
00:19:37,323 --> 00:19:40,924
I am sorry I was so selfish.
435
00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:44,281
You're my entire support system
through this,
436
00:19:44,306 --> 00:19:47,107
and the first sign of trouble,
437
00:19:47,132 --> 00:19:48,698
I threw you overboard.
438
00:19:48,723 --> 00:19:50,798
I did the same thing to you.
439
00:19:51,416 --> 00:19:53,183
No matter how much I tell myself,
440
00:19:53,208 --> 00:19:54,574
"My kid doesn't need two parents,"
441
00:19:54,599 --> 00:19:56,766
I worry I won't be enough.
442
00:19:56,809 --> 00:19:58,976
You know, not getting in
to the right school
443
00:19:58,978 --> 00:20:01,158
just felt like I was already failing.
444
00:20:01,183 --> 00:20:04,417
There's no part of this
that I want to do without you.
445
00:20:04,442 --> 00:20:05,775
Me neither.
446
00:20:05,931 --> 00:20:10,151
This is more important
than some fancy school.
447
00:20:10,559 --> 00:20:13,105
It seems like we've had a breakthrough.
448
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:15,323
Rainbow, release them, please.
449
00:20:17,630 --> 00:20:18,695
You're free to go.
450
00:20:18,697 --> 00:20:20,578
- Oh.
- Thanks.
451
00:20:22,034 --> 00:20:23,667
Please leave the crayons.
452
00:20:29,661 --> 00:20:31,922
Office supplies are very expensive.
453
00:20:33,218 --> 00:20:34,718
You can tell Ms. Hinder-Haagen
454
00:20:34,743 --> 00:20:37,443
that we are withdrawing our applications.
455
00:20:37,468 --> 00:20:40,403
No need. The last spot was just filled.
456
00:20:40,428 --> 00:20:41,766
Oh, hey, guys.
457
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:47,121
Guess who just got the
last place for 2024
458
00:20:47,518 --> 00:20:52,209
I'm a mix race child with a single T-mom
and two gays grand parents.
459
00:20:54,078 --> 00:20:56,338
***
460
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,507
I'm changing her name, I don't care.
31316
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