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1
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[pop music]
2
00:00:11,133 --> 00:00:14,267
* *
3
00:00:14,333 --> 00:00:17,333
- * Where are you
now that I need ya *
4
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,800
- I was alone,
on the verge of bankruptcy,
5
00:00:20,867 --> 00:00:22,900
with a daughter in college
and a deadbeat husband
6
00:00:22,967 --> 00:00:25,233
who I finally got the guts
to throw out the door.
7
00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:27,200
I worked at Random House
right out of college
8
00:00:27,267 --> 00:00:29,800
for three years before I quit
to raise Caitlin,
9
00:00:29,867 --> 00:00:31,800
My mom passed away that year,
10
00:00:31,867 --> 00:00:34,400
and my daughter needed me.
11
00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:37,233
- * Where are you now
that I need you *
12
00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:39,067
When I was ready
to go back to work,
13
00:00:39,133 --> 00:00:42,100
no one would give me a chance--
literally nobody.
14
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,400
Maggie had this crazy idea
that I lie about my age
15
00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:46,033
on my resume.
16
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:48,433
I was so desperate,
I was ready to try anything.
17
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,700
- * Where are you
that I need you *
18
00:00:50,767 --> 00:00:52,867
There were so many times
that I wanted to tell you,
19
00:00:52,933 --> 00:00:54,367
but then we started
Millennial,
20
00:00:54,433 --> 00:00:56,867
and I knew you needed
me to be the person
21
00:00:56,933 --> 00:00:59,433
you believed I was.
22
00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:02,133
Sometimes I believed it
myself.
23
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:05,533
* *
24
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,633
I know it was selfish,
but the longer it went on,
25
00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:11,267
the harder it became
to tell you the truth.
26
00:01:13,067 --> 00:01:14,867
- Why even tell me now?
27
00:01:14,933 --> 00:01:16,500
- Because I couldn't keep
deceiving
28
00:01:16,567 --> 00:01:18,167
the people I love most.
29
00:01:19,733 --> 00:01:21,933
And, Kelsey,
next to my own daughter,
30
00:01:22,067 --> 00:01:24,200
and Maggie,
31
00:01:24,267 --> 00:01:27,067
you're the most precious
thing in the world to me.
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00:01:28,767 --> 00:01:30,300
- Wow!
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00:01:30,367 --> 00:01:31,933
I feel like I'm in
34
00:01:32,067 --> 00:01:35,200
an episode of "Black Mirror"
or something.
35
00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:37,833
I think that's all I can
deal with for one night.
36
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,567
We can talk more tomorrow.
- Yeah. We can keep talking
37
00:01:41,633 --> 00:01:43,367
for as long as you like.
38
00:01:43,433 --> 00:01:46,400
Uh...take my room.
39
00:01:46,467 --> 00:01:47,633
I'll sleep with Maggie.
40
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,367
- Thanks.
41
00:01:49,433 --> 00:01:51,433
Good night.
- Night.
42
00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:52,633
- Good night.
43
00:01:56,067 --> 00:01:56,967
"Black Mirror"?
44
00:01:57,067 --> 00:01:59,100
- Beats me.
45
00:01:59,167 --> 00:02:01,067
- [sighs]
46
00:02:01,067 --> 00:02:03,067
- * I showed you the game *
- Thank you.
47
00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:05,367
- * Everybody else
was playin' *
48
00:02:05,433 --> 00:02:07,967
* That's for sure,
that's for sure *
49
00:02:08,067 --> 00:02:11,333
* Where are you now
that I need ya *
50
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:18,067
* *
51
00:02:19,533 --> 00:02:21,667
- They'll probably fire me.
52
00:02:21,733 --> 00:02:23,433
I just hope
they don't sue me.
53
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:25,067
You know what?
Let 'em try.
54
00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:26,633
It's not like I have
anything to lose.
55
00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:28,433
- You know, I don't know
why you suddenly
56
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:30,500
feel the need to unburden
yourself to everyone,
57
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,300
starting with Kelsey.
58
00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:34,433
You're not doing her any favors.
- I can't keep lying
59
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:36,467
to the people I love,
even if it means
60
00:02:36,533 --> 00:02:38,500
they're not gonna like me
very much anymore.
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00:02:38,567 --> 00:02:40,967
- Sometimes lying
to the people you love best
62
00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:42,633
is the most loving
thing you can do.
63
00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:44,633
- You should like
a twisted fortune cookie.
64
00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:47,567
- I accept that.
[phone chimes]
65
00:02:47,633 --> 00:02:49,100
- I gotta get Kelsey
up for work.
66
00:02:49,167 --> 00:02:50,633
We're gonna be late
for the morning meeting.
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00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:52,300
- Mmm.
68
00:02:52,367 --> 00:02:54,800
- Kelsey, we should
start thinking about
69
00:02:54,867 --> 00:02:56,433
heading to the office.
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00:02:58,067 --> 00:02:59,767
Kelsey?
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00:03:05,167 --> 00:03:07,567
[pop music]
72
00:03:07,633 --> 00:03:14,600
* *
73
00:03:30,367 --> 00:03:31,967
Good morning.
- Morning.
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00:03:32,067 --> 00:03:33,867
[phone chimes]
75
00:03:36,767 --> 00:03:39,667
[rock music]
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00:03:39,733 --> 00:03:46,667
* *
77
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,733
- Oh, good, you're here.
78
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,900
- Of course.
Where else would I be?
79
00:03:56,967 --> 00:03:58,967
- Well, you kinda
disappeared last night.
80
00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:01,067
I was worried about you.
81
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,633
- What can I help you with?
82
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,433
- Kelsey, we have to talk.
83
00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,233
I'm not gonna burden you
with this secret.
84
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:08,367
- Right now,
I'm more concerned
85
00:04:08,433 --> 00:04:10,233
about how this happened.
86
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:12,100
You bought that stupid
labradoodle book
87
00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:13,400
behind my back.
88
00:04:13,467 --> 00:04:14,700
- Emily Burns did some digging.
89
00:04:14,767 --> 00:04:16,233
She found out
about my real age,
90
00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:18,067
threatened to write
a story about me in "EW"
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00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:20,067
unless we published her book.
- I begged you
92
00:04:20,133 --> 00:04:21,300
not to buy that book.
- I know.
93
00:04:21,367 --> 00:04:23,400
I was just
trying to protect--
94
00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:25,467
- Yourself.
- Oh, I'm so sorry
95
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:27,267
to interrupt
your morning gossip,
96
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:28,900
but Marylynne Keller, the famous
Washington spin doctor,
97
00:04:28,967 --> 00:04:31,067
is waiting for us
in the conference room
98
00:04:31,133 --> 00:04:32,800
to pitch her new book.
She has to leave in ten minutes
99
00:04:32,867 --> 00:04:35,367
to be on "Hardball" with
Chris Matthews, so let's move.
100
00:04:35,433 --> 00:04:37,133
- The title of my book--
101
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,067
"It's True Because
I'm Shouting It:
102
00:04:39,133 --> 00:04:41,633
Confessions
of a Washington Spin Doctor."
103
00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:44,167
Because after 20 years
behind the scenes
104
00:04:44,233 --> 00:04:46,233
of shaping policy
and perception,
105
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,300
I'm ready to take
a good, long leak.
106
00:04:48,367 --> 00:04:50,933
I'm ready to take you
through the stories
107
00:04:51,067 --> 00:04:53,567
of how I shaped the narrative,
from making people believe
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00:04:53,633 --> 00:04:55,267
that George W. Bush
just loved to
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00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:57,100
"clear brush on his ranch"
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00:04:57,167 --> 00:04:59,167
to the universal perception
that Michelle Obama
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00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:00,967
is a down-to-earth
fashion plate.
112
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:03,333
- Well, isn't she?
- Well, if you think so,
113
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,533
then it must be true.
114
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,900
But how...did that happen?
115
00:05:06,967 --> 00:05:08,567
- Because she managed to be
116
00:05:08,633 --> 00:05:09,967
both down to earth
and glamorous?
117
00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:11,533
- And who would disagree
with you?
118
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,667
Nobody.
You say something loud,
119
00:05:13,733 --> 00:05:16,433
you say it often,
then when people contradict you,
120
00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:18,367
they sound like
defensive babies.
121
00:05:18,433 --> 00:05:21,533
And bottom line: Truth...
122
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,533
is a four-letter word.
123
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,100
- Uh, actually, truth
is a five-letter word.
124
00:05:26,167 --> 00:05:28,167
- Not the way I spell it.
125
00:05:28,233 --> 00:05:30,667
It's important
not to confuse the truth
126
00:05:30,733 --> 00:05:32,767
with the facts,
and vice versa.
127
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,900
- I'm not sure I...
see the difference.
128
00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:36,467
[laughs]
- Okay.
129
00:05:36,533 --> 00:05:38,467
The reality is a fact
is a factotum.
130
00:05:38,533 --> 00:05:40,167
And according to Webster's,
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00:05:40,233 --> 00:05:42,567
a factotum
is a "jack of all trades,"
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00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:45,300
certainly not something
to trust or rely on.
133
00:05:45,367 --> 00:05:48,767
- Those are two completely
different words.
134
00:05:48,833 --> 00:05:50,300
- You're a very
attractive woman.
135
00:05:50,367 --> 00:05:52,067
And I love that necklace.
136
00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,833
And I don't care
if you are transgender.
137
00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:56,333
- Uh--I'm not, um...
138
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,867
- Either way, I don't care.
139
00:05:57,933 --> 00:06:00,233
The fact
of your gender identity
140
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:02,533
is irrelevant to me.
- I'm a woman.
141
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:05,533
- And I applaud that.
142
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,367
- Marylynne, thank you
so much for meeting with us.
143
00:06:08,433 --> 00:06:10,700
- Oh, the pleasure
was mine.
144
00:06:13,567 --> 00:06:15,167
- Thank you. So much.
- Thank you.
145
00:06:15,233 --> 00:06:17,167
- Oh, you're welcome.
146
00:06:17,233 --> 00:06:18,767
Thank you.
147
00:06:18,833 --> 00:06:21,767
[light music]
148
00:06:21,833 --> 00:06:23,567
* *
149
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,233
- Okay.
150
00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:27,733
I, uh, hear the opening
offer's 2 million.
151
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,100
- Assuming we want it.
152
00:06:29,167 --> 00:06:30,300
- It's going to be
153
00:06:30,367 --> 00:06:31,633
a big title for someone.
154
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:33,767
Thoughts?
- Very enlightening.
155
00:06:33,833 --> 00:06:35,533
- You can't be serious!
156
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,333
She is a one-woman
reality distortion field!
157
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,967
- Liza?
158
00:06:44,667 --> 00:06:48,767
- I think truth is more
elastic than we can imagine.
159
00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:51,233
But it still has value.
160
00:06:51,300 --> 00:06:53,733
Because without it,
there is no trust.
161
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:57,267
And without trust...
162
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,600
there is no love.
163
00:06:58,667 --> 00:07:01,233
And that is why
I have to confess
164
00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:03,767
something extremely difficult
165
00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:07,567
to a group of people that I have
come to love very much...
166
00:07:07,633 --> 00:07:10,067
and to whom I owe so much.
167
00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:13,433
And whose forgiveness
I wouldn't have the presumption
168
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,500
to ask for.
- What? What is it?
169
00:07:15,567 --> 00:07:16,967
[suspenseful music]
170
00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:19,167
- I'm not--
- Going to marry...Josh.
171
00:07:19,233 --> 00:07:22,233
Josh...he proposed, and...
172
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:25,067
Liza, I know
that this has been
173
00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:27,500
really hard for you.
- Oh, for God's sake.
174
00:07:27,567 --> 00:07:29,233
This is a business meeting!
175
00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:31,267
We do not discuss
our personal lives.
176
00:07:31,333 --> 00:07:33,167
I apologize for that, Charles.
177
00:07:33,233 --> 00:07:34,367
- It's fine.
- Liza...
178
00:07:34,433 --> 00:07:36,900
We need to talk.
- Uh...
179
00:07:36,967 --> 00:07:38,800
give us a moment first.
180
00:07:38,867 --> 00:07:45,867
* *
181
00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:49,133
Are you crazy?
182
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,167
- No. Yes.
I don't know anymore.
183
00:07:51,233 --> 00:07:52,967
Probably.
- If you tell people
184
00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:55,433
that you've been lying
about your age,
185
00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:58,100
what do you think is going
to happen to Millennial?
186
00:07:58,167 --> 00:08:00,067
Our credibility
will be destroyed,
187
00:08:00,067 --> 00:08:01,867
and every hater out there
188
00:08:01,933 --> 00:08:03,900
who would just love to see us
fail will get their wish.
189
00:08:03,967 --> 00:08:05,733
- So I just keep lying?
- No.
190
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,567
You...create your truth.
191
00:08:08,633 --> 00:08:10,533
I Googled you earlier,
192
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,733
and the only thing
I could find...
193
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,433
[chuckles]
194
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:16,667
Was this.
195
00:08:16,733 --> 00:08:19,500
A prized pig in Iowa
named Liza Miller.
196
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:20,967
- I actually hired someone
197
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,633
to make myself invisible
online.
198
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:24,533
- That's where you went wrong.
199
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,400
You are who your last
ten search results say you are.
200
00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:29,067
We need to rewrite
your narrative,
201
00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:31,200
create
some alternative facts.
202
00:08:31,267 --> 00:08:33,833
- Oh, this is so sad.
203
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:36,733
No Twitter, no Tumblr,
no Spotify playlists?
204
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,767
- I've always been
a very private person.
205
00:08:38,833 --> 00:08:40,967
- Um, privacy is just another
word for low self-esteem,
206
00:08:41,067 --> 00:08:42,600
okay, Liza? You don't value
anything you say or do.
207
00:08:42,667 --> 00:08:44,400
That's why
you're still an assistant.
208
00:08:44,467 --> 00:08:47,167
- Okay, all right,
we're not here to criticize.
209
00:08:47,233 --> 00:08:49,233
We're here to help her...
210
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,367
shout her truth.
- Mm-hmm. Of course.
211
00:08:51,433 --> 00:08:53,967
We need to build your social
media profile--that's what I do.
212
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,467
When I first met Hector and
Dorff, they thought Instagram
213
00:08:56,533 --> 00:08:58,200
was something that
went up your nose, okay?
214
00:08:58,267 --> 00:09:00,600
Three million followers later,
well...
215
00:09:00,667 --> 00:09:02,733
- We need to give Liza
an online identity.
216
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,767
All right?
It's important for Millennial
217
00:09:04,833 --> 00:09:07,100
that people have
a strong sense of who she is.
218
00:09:07,167 --> 00:09:09,167
- Okay.
So who do you wanna be?
219
00:09:09,233 --> 00:09:11,067
A bookworm
with a slutty streak?
220
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:13,667
Workaholic hipster?
Ooh, I know, I know, I know!
221
00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:16,133
Maybe you're a feisty blonde who
doesn't call her friends back.
222
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,400
Wait--No. That's Kelsey.
223
00:09:17,467 --> 00:09:19,067
- Lauren, I'm sorry.
224
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,367
I had a rough week.
225
00:09:20,433 --> 00:09:21,600
- Oh...
226
00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:23,933
- Colin and I broke up.
227
00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:26,100
- Oh. Okay, wait--and you were
gonna tell me this when?
228
00:09:26,167 --> 00:09:27,933
- Soon.
- But you went to cry
229
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:29,433
on Liza's shoulder?
- Actually, we've been crying
230
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,933
on each other's shoulders.
231
00:09:31,067 --> 00:09:32,267
Josh and I broke up too.
232
00:09:32,333 --> 00:09:34,967
- Ah, I see, I see.
Okay, uh-huh.
233
00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:37,133
So you've both been bonding
over your mutual heartbreak,
234
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,833
and you feel like you have
nothing in common
235
00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:40,367
with a happy person?
So, what--I'm odd woman out?
236
00:09:40,433 --> 00:09:42,067
- No, of course not.
- We love you.
237
00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:43,933
- You know, it's not like
my life is perfect, okay?
238
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:46,367
Max works ridiculous shifts.
He comes home at crazy hours.
239
00:09:46,433 --> 00:09:49,300
There's not even time
for sex.
240
00:09:49,367 --> 00:09:50,567
- I'm sorry.
- Last night,
241
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,100
I sat on his nocturnal erection
242
00:09:52,167 --> 00:09:53,733
while he was sleeping, okay?
243
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,767
In some cultures,
that would be considered rape.
244
00:09:55,833 --> 00:09:58,067
- Yeah, pretty much
in every culture.
245
00:09:58,133 --> 00:09:59,533
- Whoops.
246
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,600
[mellow music]
247
00:10:02,667 --> 00:10:08,800
* *
248
00:10:08,867 --> 00:10:10,833
- Liza.
249
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,233
I certainly hope
that broken engagement
250
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,233
had nothing to do with me.
251
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:18,800
- No.
252
00:10:18,867 --> 00:10:20,967
When we got down to it,
253
00:10:21,033 --> 00:10:23,033
it wasn't what I wanted.
254
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:26,567
And I'm really focused
on work right now.
255
00:10:26,633 --> 00:10:28,367
- That's important.
256
00:10:28,433 --> 00:10:30,667
- [laughs] Yeah.
257
00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:32,367
- Good night.
258
00:10:32,433 --> 00:10:34,600
- Good night.
259
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:37,300
- Uh, L-Liza?
260
00:10:37,367 --> 00:10:39,133
Are you a Hemingway fan?
261
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,533
- I, uh, love
"The Sun Also Rises"?
262
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,433
Not so much
"The Old Man and the Sea,"
263
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:48,533
but "A Moveable Feast"--pretty
much my bible in college.
264
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,767
I still have dreams
of moving to Paris.
265
00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:52,467
- Would you like to join me
for something?
266
00:10:52,533 --> 00:10:55,067
I think you might
find this interesting.
267
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,267
- Okay.
268
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:10,167
[mellow music]
269
00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:12,433
- Hemingway's original draft
270
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:14,467
of "Farewell to Arms"...
- [gasps]
271
00:11:14,533 --> 00:11:16,400
- With his handwritten notes.
272
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:18,133
- Wow!
273
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,900
- And, uh, that is
274
00:11:19,967 --> 00:11:22,267
the original
Three Mountains Press edition
275
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,067
of his first collection
of short stories--
276
00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:26,333
published in Paris
in 1924.
277
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,833
- "The Moveable Feast" years.
278
00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:29,833
Amazing!
279
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:31,833
Are you thinking
of buying something?
280
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,067
- Uh, no, I'm selling.
281
00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:36,100
- What?
All this belongs to you?
282
00:11:36,167 --> 00:11:39,433
- No, my parents.
My dad loved Hemingway.
283
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,300
There's actually a picture
of the two of them somewhere
284
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,133
together in Sun Valley.
285
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,467
And I wanted to come by
and take one last look.
286
00:11:46,533 --> 00:11:48,133
- That must be tough.
287
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,067
- Uh, not at all.
288
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,167
This is...history,
289
00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:55,533
and I'm...more interested
in the future.
290
00:11:58,533 --> 00:12:00,100
- Wait--Hemingway wrote
love letters
291
00:12:00,167 --> 00:12:01,700
to Marlene Dietrich?
292
00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:05,400
- Yeah. That's the 1950s
version of sexting.
293
00:12:05,467 --> 00:12:06,667
- I never knew
they had a thing!
294
00:12:06,733 --> 00:12:09,067
- They didn't, exactly,
um...
295
00:12:09,067 --> 00:12:12,267
Hemingway once called
the two of them
296
00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:15,367
"victims
of unsynchronized passion."
297
00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:18,367
[light music]
298
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:19,900
* *
299
00:12:19,967 --> 00:12:21,067
Excuse me for one second.
300
00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:23,367
Old friends of my parents.
301
00:12:23,433 --> 00:12:30,300
* *
302
00:12:32,133 --> 00:12:34,967
- This is the living room.
We split the cable bill.
303
00:12:35,067 --> 00:12:37,333
That's the kitchen.
There's always Kombucha brewing,
304
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,967
so help yourself.
- Oh!
305
00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:41,833
- And the bedroom.
306
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:44,100
- Oh...
[cats meows]
307
00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:47,433
My bedroom?
- No. It's a shared bed.
308
00:12:49,267 --> 00:12:52,200
We could...make
a pillow wall, if you want.
309
00:12:52,267 --> 00:12:55,100
- * I thought I could be
something special *
310
00:12:55,167 --> 00:12:57,867
* And cozy for you *
311
00:12:57,933 --> 00:13:00,300
* *
312
00:13:00,367 --> 00:13:03,067
* A set of those diamonds *
313
00:13:03,133 --> 00:13:06,467
* The diamonds that glare
as you stare *
314
00:13:06,533 --> 00:13:09,800
* *
315
00:13:09,867 --> 00:13:11,967
* You're so coo coo *
316
00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:14,200
* I'm so coo coo *
317
00:13:14,267 --> 00:13:16,333
* You're so crazy *
- Josh!
318
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,267
Hey!
319
00:13:18,333 --> 00:13:20,667
Hey. I saw you see me.
320
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:22,900
- [sighs]
321
00:13:22,967 --> 00:13:25,300
Look, I'm sorry.
I just--
322
00:13:25,367 --> 00:13:27,300
I need to make a clean
break from Liza
323
00:13:27,367 --> 00:13:29,233
and her entire world,
okay?
324
00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:32,267
I mean, I'm sure you know
by now what's going on with us--
325
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:33,633
- Josh.
326
00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:35,067
- Yeah.
327
00:13:35,133 --> 00:13:37,333
- I know everything.
328
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,967
- You know everything?
329
00:13:40,367 --> 00:13:43,433
What do you think
you know?
330
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,400
- Everything.
331
00:13:50,067 --> 00:13:51,900
[pop music plays]
332
00:13:51,967 --> 00:13:53,800
[Josh laughs]
333
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,867
- Did you think
it was funny,
334
00:13:55,933 --> 00:13:58,300
both of you, just to pretend
to be my good friend and be
335
00:13:58,367 --> 00:14:00,733
just lying to me like that?
- No. No!
336
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:04,500
I wanted to tell you, okay?
Lisa wouldn't let me.
337
00:14:04,567 --> 00:14:06,700
- God. Who is she?
338
00:14:06,767 --> 00:14:09,267
Like, do I even
know her at all?
339
00:14:09,333 --> 00:14:13,133
- It's like you know her...
and you don't.
340
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,733
I mean, the same thing
happened to me, okay?
341
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,367
- So what really
went on that night?
342
00:14:17,433 --> 00:14:19,500
When you were planning
to propose?
343
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,600
- No, look, um...
344
00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:22,967
We can be friends.
345
00:14:23,067 --> 00:14:25,933
Don't ask me
about that night.
346
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:29,100
Ever again.
347
00:14:32,267 --> 00:14:35,633
[electronic music]
348
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:40,200
* *
349
00:14:40,267 --> 00:14:42,700
[knock at door]
- Excuse me. Liza.
350
00:14:42,767 --> 00:14:44,967
Emily Burns
is in the conference room.
351
00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:46,900
- What? What is she doing here?
- I set it up.
352
00:14:46,967 --> 00:14:48,333
Shit's about to go down.
353
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:50,833
- Excuse me?
354
00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:52,633
- Emily,
thanks for coming in.
355
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:55,367
- Anytime. I am so excited
about my book!
356
00:14:55,433 --> 00:14:57,233
- That's what I wanted
to discuss with you.
357
00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:59,267
According to Liza,
358
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:02,333
there was some kind of
blackmail involved?
359
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,100
Now, I don't know
what it's about,
360
00:15:04,167 --> 00:15:06,467
nor do I care,
but I can assure you
361
00:15:06,533 --> 00:15:08,100
that once our lawyers
are done with you,
362
00:15:08,167 --> 00:15:10,233
you won't just be losing
a book deal.
363
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,067
You'll be losing your job.
- I can't believe
364
00:15:12,067 --> 00:15:13,700
you're saying this
after that nice article
365
00:15:13,767 --> 00:15:15,133
I wrote about you guys
in "EW."
366
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,667
- That article
was mostly about Colin,
367
00:15:17,733 --> 00:15:19,700
not Millennial.
- And thanks to the publicity
368
00:15:19,767 --> 00:15:21,900
the article generated, we're
not even publishing his book.
369
00:15:21,967 --> 00:15:24,067
- So thanks for nothing.
370
00:15:24,067 --> 00:15:25,767
Oh, if you wanna play dirty,
371
00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:28,167
the stakes are gonna
have to go way up.
372
00:15:28,233 --> 00:15:29,633
- What do you want?
- Well...
373
00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:31,900
Liza and I would like
to be on "EW's"
374
00:15:31,967 --> 00:15:33,667
29 under 29 Media List.
375
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:36,100
- Both of us?
- Absolutely.
376
00:15:36,167 --> 00:15:38,767
- [laughs] Okay. That is crazy.
The party is tonight.
377
00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:40,800
That list has been closed
for weeks.
378
00:15:40,867 --> 00:15:42,300
- Unclose it.
379
00:15:42,367 --> 00:15:45,233
Or we're canceling
your book.
380
00:15:47,767 --> 00:15:51,167
- I guess you could tie
for 29th with Tavi Gevinson.
381
00:15:51,233 --> 00:15:53,233
- That would be fine.
382
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:55,333
- You do realize
this is a press event.
383
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,367
I just wanna make sure
you're both
384
00:15:57,433 --> 00:15:58,433
prepared to be photographed.
385
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,700
- Absolutely.
386
00:16:00,767 --> 00:16:02,667
- Then see you tonight!
387
00:16:04,233 --> 00:16:07,067
And I hope you bitches
know what you're doing.
388
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:11,667
- [inhales, exhales]
389
00:16:12,833 --> 00:16:15,933
[dance music]
390
00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:18,067
- We really staked out
an important niche
391
00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:20,333
in the marketplace.
392
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,600
- And of course, you can't run
a publishing company
393
00:16:23,667 --> 00:16:26,833
called Millennial unless
you're a Millennial yourself.
394
00:16:29,167 --> 00:16:35,633
* *
395
00:16:36,667 --> 00:16:38,200
- Kelsey!
- Aah!
396
00:16:38,267 --> 00:16:39,733
- Oh, my God, Kelsey,
you look amazing!
397
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,600
- Oh, thanks.
- God, I'm so impressed!
398
00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:44,267
Max has something
he wants to say to you.
399
00:16:44,333 --> 00:16:46,433
- Uh...we took the bench press
out of your room,
400
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,067
and it's in the hallway now.
- Please come back.
401
00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:49,700
- Thank you, but no.
402
00:16:49,767 --> 00:16:51,133
It was time
for me to move out.
403
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,633
- What--Where are you
living?
404
00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:54,300
- I'll let you know.
405
00:16:54,367 --> 00:16:55,800
Soon. I promise.
406
00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:57,200
- No. What's wrong
with right now?
407
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:58,900
- Mm-mm. Boundaries.
408
00:16:58,967 --> 00:17:00,433
You wanna think of this
as an exercise.
409
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:02,833
- Okay. Okay, fine.
410
00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:04,067
Never mind.
- Mm-hmm.
411
00:17:04,133 --> 00:17:05,833
- You look nice.
412
00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:09,400
- I've gotten so many
offers on the book.
413
00:17:09,467 --> 00:17:11,267
The tracking is incredible.
414
00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:13,267
It already has more preorders
than the last "Harry Potter."
415
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,867
- How is that possible?
You don't have a publisher yet.
416
00:17:15,933 --> 00:17:17,533
- Well, I can't do the math
for you.
417
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:21,067
The point is, Empirical's offer
was not the best.
418
00:17:21,133 --> 00:17:22,833
But I do feel comfortable
with you.
419
00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:24,767
- Well, and...we will have
a-a great team
420
00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:26,300
working for you.
421
00:17:26,367 --> 00:17:28,267
- Did you hear about
the rumors on "Politico"
422
00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:29,900
that we're having an affair?
It's so weird.
423
00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:32,867
- Really?
Uh, t-that is strange.
424
00:17:32,933 --> 00:17:34,433
- We should just go ahead
and do it
425
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,300
and prove the naysayers
wrong.
426
00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:39,167
- Wouldn't that be...
proving them right?
427
00:17:39,233 --> 00:17:40,600
- I'm talking about
the trolls out there
428
00:17:40,667 --> 00:17:42,167
who are saying
it isn't true.
429
00:17:42,233 --> 00:17:43,900
Oh, by the way,
according to my Twitter feed,
430
00:17:43,967 --> 00:17:47,267
it says that I'm at
a conference in Beijing.
431
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:49,133
So it's the perfect cover.
432
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,133
- If you are here,
433
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,267
how are you tweeting
from Beijing?
434
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:54,700
- Oh, I have people.
It's important to maintain
435
00:17:54,767 --> 00:17:56,300
a Chinese presence.
436
00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:59,500
- It would be great
if we could, uh...
437
00:17:59,567 --> 00:18:01,400
confine our conversation
to the book.
438
00:18:01,467 --> 00:18:03,167
- And kissing.
439
00:18:03,233 --> 00:18:05,167
- Uh...no.
440
00:18:05,233 --> 00:18:07,200
- Oh, I'm hearing yes.
441
00:18:07,267 --> 00:18:09,967
- Uh, no, I'm...
I'm saying no.
442
00:18:10,067 --> 00:18:12,300
- Words.
You're just saying words.
443
00:18:12,367 --> 00:18:15,300
[upbeat music]
444
00:18:15,367 --> 00:18:21,967
* *
445
00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:25,200
- Okay, you are an evil genius.
446
00:18:25,267 --> 00:18:28,233
You just got "EW" to put
their reputation on the line.
447
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:31,233
They would rather die
than admit they were wrong.
448
00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:32,900
- Wrong about what?
449
00:18:32,967 --> 00:18:36,767
- Nothing.
We're all in this together now.
450
00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:40,667
Hey...
Isn't that your DILF boss?
451
00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:45,233
- Oh, um, excuse me.
452
00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:47,433
Hey.
- Hi.
453
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,533
- I thought you had
your dinner tonight.
454
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:54,067
- Uh, I did; I wanted to
congratulate you on the honor.
455
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:57,867
Uh, though I feel like I'm
the oldest person in the room.
456
00:18:57,933 --> 00:19:00,700
Are you sure I'm allowed
to be here if I'm over 29?
457
00:19:00,767 --> 00:19:02,800
- [stammering]
458
00:19:02,867 --> 00:19:04,933
Uh, so, did we get the book?
459
00:19:05,067 --> 00:19:08,267
- Uh, no, because I don't
want to publish it.
460
00:19:08,333 --> 00:19:10,233
- Why not?
- I don't want to contribute to
461
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:15,067
the idea that truth is whatever
you're comfortable with.
462
00:19:15,133 --> 00:19:18,067
Even if it means taking
a hit to the bottom line.
463
00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:19,567
- Right.
464
00:19:19,633 --> 00:19:22,833
- Guess I'm just old-fashioned
that way.
465
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,100
- Hey, uh, do you mind
if I steal her?
466
00:19:24,167 --> 00:19:25,500
"Vulture" has a few questions.
467
00:19:25,567 --> 00:19:28,100
- Uh, no, no, go, go.
Have fun.
468
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,633
And, Liza...
469
00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:31,767
I'm proud of you.
470
00:19:31,833 --> 00:19:33,767
* *
471
00:19:33,833 --> 00:19:36,600
- Thank you.
- Have fun.
472
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,367
- Wait, what's wrong?
Liza, are you nervous?
473
00:19:41,433 --> 00:19:44,933
- Uh, no, I'm great.
I'm just great.
474
00:19:49,633 --> 00:19:51,933
- Ahh! Okay!
Oh, my gosh,
475
00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:53,967
this list is being
retweeted everywhere.
476
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:56,400
And your Twitter account
is blowing up.
477
00:19:56,467 --> 00:19:59,767
Hello, 1,235 new followers!
You're welcome.
478
00:19:59,833 --> 00:20:02,933
- Ugh, my phone just died.
Will you please call me an Uber?
479
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,367
- Dude, no, this is your night.
Okay, please, take mine.
480
00:20:05,433 --> 00:20:08,867
Oh, in fact, there's Abdul
arriving now in the black SUV.
481
00:20:08,933 --> 00:20:10,400
- Good night.
- I'll get us another car.
482
00:20:10,467 --> 00:20:13,067
- Oh, hey, Kelsey.
483
00:20:13,133 --> 00:20:15,567
I just--
I just want to thank you
484
00:20:15,633 --> 00:20:18,700
for forgiving me
and for understanding
485
00:20:18,767 --> 00:20:22,700
that I'm still the same person
that you've always known.
486
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:28,733
- That in there...
was business.
487
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,500
I don't think that
I can ever forgive you.
488
00:20:30,567 --> 00:20:32,867
You...
489
00:20:32,933 --> 00:20:34,567
You broke my heart.
490
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:37,833
[hip-hop music]
491
00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:40,833
- * You can damn me to step
over the edge *
492
00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:43,200
- Hey, do you know
where Kelsey is living?
493
00:20:43,267 --> 00:20:46,500
- Uh, no. Do you?
- Mm-mm, no, she won't tell me.
494
00:20:46,567 --> 00:20:48,867
But now that she's in my Uber...
495
00:20:48,933 --> 00:20:50,833
We're about to find out.
496
00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:54,300
* *
497
00:20:54,367 --> 00:20:58,200
- * There was a time I was
afraid of *
498
00:20:58,267 --> 00:21:03,467
* The dark and monsters
living underneath my bed *
499
00:21:03,533 --> 00:21:06,300
* And then I said
enough is enough *
500
00:21:06,367 --> 00:21:09,067
- Oh, my God.
501
00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:13,500
- * The only monsters were
the voices in my head *
502
00:21:13,567 --> 00:21:16,600
[bell rings]
503
00:21:16,667 --> 00:21:18,300
- * Dare me to run *
504
00:21:18,367 --> 00:21:19,933
- Hey.
505
00:21:20,067 --> 00:21:21,333
Got these made today.
506
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,100
- * Is that what you want? *
507
00:21:23,167 --> 00:21:24,333
- Welcome, roomie.
508
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:25,433
- * I dare you to *
509
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:27,433
* *
510
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,167
* I dare, I dare, I dare *
511
00:21:29,233 --> 00:21:30,800
* I dare you to *
512
00:21:30,867 --> 00:21:32,800
* *
513
00:21:32,867 --> 00:21:34,067
* I dare you to *
34508
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