Original subtitles

(upbeat music)

‐ Oh, yeah.

Oh, my goodness, dude, we are so close.

Victory.

Look at my dire wolves, dude.

I'm feeling like John Snow right now, dude.

I'm feeling like this whole Game of Thrones in my life

is started to merge and collide as one.

Put that right there.

‐ You sound just like Obama.

‐ Thank you. ‐ Yeah.

‐ Game of Thrones some real nigga shit.

‐ Hey, BDot in the house, what up, fellas.

What the fuck?

Is that a wolf puzzle?

Why is it two grown men doing a wolf puzzle?

‐ You God damn right this is a fucking wolf puzzle.

This is one of the baddest fucking wolf puzzles

you will ever see in your fucking lifetime.

‐ Oh, oh, oh okay, that's good for you and your wolves.

Alright, but listen, bet, I'm here,

I'm the man, let's get this shit started, baby.

‐ What are you talking about? ‐ That does not fit there.

‐ Bro, you specifically told me to be here

so I can pitch my business idea to you.

‐ We've been on this puzzle for like, three hours,

so, come back later.

‐ Who the fuck are you?

‐ Man, this is Kenny, dog, you don't know Kenny?

‐ I'm Kenny.

I come over all the time,

you know, hang out, get loose, you know?

I own the house next door.

‐ You that algorithm nigga.

‐ Yeah.

‐ [BDot] You own that big ass house next door?

‐ I do, I do.

‐ [BDot] With all the cars and the big ass dog?

‐ Most of it.

Yeah, well, I mean, technically,

my parents own every, part of it, but, most everything.

‐ Look, Kenny is my young protege, man.

His parents is robbing and raping him right now,

like he Gary Coleman.

But that's why we doing this, man,

I'm here to inspire this dude, man,

to take his money back.

‐ I don't care, look, y'all don't even gotta stop puzzling.

‐ Raping me? I'll just pitch

my idea to you right now.

‐ Damn, man, you kinda thirsty, aint you?

‐ BD, who the fuck is this?

‐ Man, that's Ron, dog.

Ron is my political strategist,

plus, that nigga funny as shit.

Ay, Ron, make me laugh, nigga.

‐ Hey, fuck you.

(laughing)

‐ Fuck all that, continue doing this puzzle,

I can just pitch my idea to you guys right now.

‐ Right, and my business manager

and my publicist will not be here 'til four o'clock.

And right now, me and my friend, my protege,

and my homeboy Ron, who is my political strategist,

who's gonna help me run for mayor,

are working on a fucking puzzle.

‐ You being dead ass right now?

‐ Ay, just leave, he said come back at four.

What idea could you possibly have in a book bag, man?

(laughing)

Can't be that important.

Leave, change your clothes, and come back.

Why you got sweat pants on?

We don't need to see your dick print.

You not impressing nobody over here,

we all got big dicks this way.

(upbeat music)

‐ So team, this my boy BDot,

we met at a celebrity game two months ago.

BDot, this is my team.

Andy is my business manager, Zoe, handles publicity.

He's kinda Instagram famous,

I'm sure y'all don't know who the fuck he is.

‐ You know, at first I thought

you were the guy from Kenan and Kel,

but actually, he's someone more awesome, that's BDot.

I mean, I don't know anything about basketball,

but he does all these awesome impersonations

of these NBA players. ‐ What the fuck you mean

you don't know nothing about basketball?

‐ I don't know about the game,

but I know about the game inside the game,

I know how to make money.

I know the mental part of it. ‐ Right.

‐ Zoe, you don't seem too impressed.

‐ Yeah, I'm...

Not.

(laughing)

Sorry.

‐ Dog, you should just get up and do your thing, dude,

'cause she's clearly not fucking with you.

‐ Watch this.

‐ Alright, dog, alright.

‐ Put your seat belts on.

(upbeat music)

Men's fragrance.

That's the hot shit right now.

‐ Mmhm.

‐ With this fragrance, I can get

all of the NBA players to wear it.

But the classy ones, like LeBron James,

Chris Paul, Steph Curry, me.

It's about luxury.

‐ Okay.

‐ It's about class.

An active scent, for the active gentleman.

Ball out, ladies and gentlemen.

(clapping)

‐ I like it.

‐ Ball Out.

Y'all don't see the problem?

‐ What's the problem?

‐ BO, body odor.

Well, when I look at that,

and you dig deep, and you see BO,

BO means the shit stinks.

‐ I see it, I see it. ‐ I see it.

‐ Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

‐ Bro, bro, do not knock it until you try it, bro.

‐ Yeah, nuh‐uh, dude, ay‐‐

‐ Let's just smell it, Baron. ‐ Don't spray that shit

in my fucking house, nigga, what's wrong with you?

(blowing)

‐ Ooh. ‐ Okay.

‐ I actually like it a little bit.

‐ Oh.

‐ Like, we could sell this.

‐ We could sell this.

‐ Really? ‐ We could totally sell this.

‐ Yeah, 'cause the scent, the concept,

I feel like if we had, like, a Chris Paul,

or a D Wade, ‐ yeah, Chris Paul or D Wade.

‐ As a spokesman.

‐ Wait, wait, wait, huh? ‐ That would hit.

‐ We'd just totally‐‐ ‐ Huh, no, no, no, no, no.

No, I'm the spokesman.

(laughing)

‐ No, you're not.

‐ He's funny.

‐ Not in this wheel, not in this wheel.

‐ Okay, how do we say this politely?

Well, I'm not gonna be polite about it,

I'm just gonna say, you're not

the demographic we're looking for,

you know, we're thinking Macy's, Nordstroms, Barneys.

‐ Yeah.

‐ You are, you know, some weird mall

with no air conditioning.

‐ I have over 1.5 million followers, and counting.

‐ Oh.

‐ I'm a brand, I'm a pretty big deal.

‐ Hold on, Mr. Brand.

(upbeat music)

What is this an impersonation of?

♪ Thirsty thirsty

♪ She thirsty thirsty thirsty

A huge asshole?

You're the wrong brand.

And if you're the face of the company,

then this face is not interested.

‐ So that's a hard pass.

But, check this out, this is what I'm willing to do.

I'm willing to offer you something.

My mentorship, my guidance.

I invest in people, right?

‐ That's true.

‐ Look at Andy, look at Andy.

When I met Andy, he was down and out, dude,

he didn't know what the hell was going on, dude.

‐ I lived in the Valley. ‐ Man, he lived in the Valley.

He was getting bullied,

he's been picked on. ‐ For years.

‐ And I turned him into a fucking dire wolf.

Now, he got jazz and pizazz, and he out here kicking ass.

‐ You're gonna make me cry.

‐ And Zoe, remember that day that you was crying,

you was like, man, I'm 'bout to go back to Sacramento.

‐ I'm from Philly.

‐ That's the whole point, man,

is like, my investment in everything that they've done,

has returned tenfold, you know what I mean?

Like, Andy, what you got for me today, dude?

‐ I don't have anything.

‐ That's cool.

Zoe?

‐ I just came to get my check, bruh, then I'm out.

‐ Okay, good, good, good.

You can be a part of this, dude.

‐ You know what, there is one investment

that is doing really, really well.

‐ What is that?

‐ I mean, it's making

hand over fist cash. ‐ What investment is that?

‐ Your cousin's food truck.

‐ Cousin Whopper.

‐ You have a food truck?

We could be doing press on that right now.

‐ You know what?

We could be doing press for that right now.

It's really a testament to my character,

and how I'm going to plant seeds in the hood.

That's your first lesson, dog.

You gonna come, your gonna see the power

and the enthusiasm, and the leverage,

taking somebody like cousin Whopper

and giving him his own food truck.

You coming dude, you coming with us,

that's your first lesson in this whole thing.

(upbeat music)

♪ I just be trippin' yeah ay

♪ Sauce on your sister yeah ay

♪ I just be trippin' yeah ay

Cousin Whopper, he's actually making

a return on his investment, man.

Once he pay off his loan, at the rate he going,

man, the sky is the limit for this kid, man.

And that's what I do, man, you know?

‐ Alright, alright, alright.

‐ Hold on.

that don't look like no food truck,

bro, look like a snow cone cart.

You mean, I gave this fool $20,000 for this shit?

(lighthearted jingle)

‐ [Whopper] Baron Davos Snow Cones, come get you one.

‐ [Baron] What's up, cuzzo?

‐ Oh, hey, cuzzo.

Man, that'll $50, my G.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, what's going on cuzzo?

‐ Where the fuck is the food truck?

‐ Man, fuck all that food truck shit, man,

that's a thing of the past, man,

it's these snow cones right here, homie.

Snow cones, I'm telling you.

‐ Nigga, and my mother fucking name on it,

what the fuck is that all about?

‐ Man, look‐‐

‐ You are sabotaging

my fucking brand, dog. ‐ I'm not, I'm helping.

Look, cuzzo calm down.

Technically, nigga, I didn't even ask you for the money.

‐ Nigga, yes, you did as me for the money,

what the fuck you talking about?

‐ I did, I did, but so what,

I didn't ask you to come over checking on me,

and checking me for my shit in front of this bitch.

Look, like, it's hot out here.

Shaking Jake, bring your ass over here, white boy.

Look, this is my favorite customer‐‐

‐ Dog, you gotta be doing something,

look at this white dude,

what the fuck is wrong with you, dog?

‐ Okay, I got you, I got you.

‐ [Baron] You hot, you aint sweating.

Why you shaking like that, bro?

‐ Snow cone, here, a sugar rush.

Go, do your thing, do your thing, baby.

Black dollars.

‐ Why he give him a hundred dollars, bro?

‐ Buying snow cones. ‐ This shit shady.

‐ [Whopper] Keep running your mouth, homie.

(police sirens wailing)

‐ [Baron] What are you ducking for?

‐ Man, look, man, you know I just got out of jail,

I can't see no police, cuz.

‐ [Baron] What, you aint got no permits or something?

‐ God damn, oh, you the feds, you calling them?

‐ Nah, I'm just‐‐

‐ I'm out here working.

‐ I get it.

‐ I'm supposed to carry the paperwork with me all the time?

‐ This a hundred dollar bill?

What the hell you selling, hundred dollar bill‐‐

‐ You aint put in on this, man, put my shit back.

I'll fuck you up over mine. ‐ Boy, is that a Sprite?

Is that lean?

Man, you got lean in a snow cone?

‐ What's in there?

‐ Check this out, don't worry about

what I got in my shit, homie.

This shit is the purest, natural, gluten free syrup.

You see my customers.

‐ [BDot] They look like crack heads, man.

(upbeat music)

‐ They spend their hard earned money for this snow cone,

Baron Davis snow cones.

‐ [BDot] But, it's lean.

‐ Let me get one of them mother fucking snow cones, man.

‐ [Whopper] Cuzzo, I got you.

‐ It's lean in the snow cones.

‐ Man, aint no lean in the snow cones,

man, it's white people in here.

‐ [Whopper] Everybody got their secret sauce,

this is a secret, this is special ingredients.

‐ It's the secret sauce, dog.

‐ Don't drink that.. ‐ Give me that shit.

‐ Don't drink that, BD.

This aint no good idea.

Don't drink that.

BD, but it's...

‐ The snow cones is good. ‐ Bomb. (upbeat music)

‐ Ay, y'all come here every day for this?

‐ Yeah.

‐ Yeah?

I'm proud of you, dog.

‐ I'm proud of myself,

thank you, I appreciate that. ‐ I'm proud of you.

(upbeat music)

‐ Baron, man, you look fucked up, brother.

‐ I'm in deep thought, nigga.

‐ Yeah, what's in that snow cone, man?

Where you get that from?

‐ They baron Davis snow cones, man.

Hand over fist.

‐ You know them is trap cones, right?

That's promethazine.

Codeine.

You leaning right now.

You probably shouldn't fall asleep, man,

you might not wake back up.

How many of them cones you had?

‐ This my fourth cone.

‐ Yeah, you know what, you probably should stay awake.

‐ It's a lot of good shit happening right now, man.

I can't tell you, it's a feeling, man, it's a vibe.

‐ [Zoe] Okay, y'all.

‐ Zoe.

‐ So I got press lined up for the food truck, okay?

Good Daily on Wednesday morning,

and then TMZ on Thursday, and then a lot more after that.

Tell me I'm the best.

‐ Ay, you the best, ay, ay.

‐ Not you.

‐ You the shit, but we gotta pause on that shit.

‐ What do you mean, pause?

‐ Man, it's just, it's a snow cone machine,

and, man, I don't know what's going on.

‐ Baron, like, seriously?

‐ [Baron] But I thank you, though.

‐ Wasted a whole day being here?

‐ Or did you?

‐ I mean...

‐ You got to see me again.

‐ You know, I don't think...

‐ I wasted a whole fucking day.

‐ I don't really think‐‐

‐ Fuck you, fuck you.

‐ Zoe, I don't really

think you did. ‐ No.

‐ Drive safe, okay?

‐ Question, bro.

So cousin Whopper gets your seed money and I don't?

Explain that to me, bro.

‐ Cousin Whopper's on the team, man.

Ron's on the team.

And guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what?

‐ What, bro?

‐ You're on the team, man.

(upbeat music)

And this can be huge for you.

‐ Serious?

‐ Hell yeah, man, but you know what?

You gotta scrap for playing time.

You know what I mean?

You gotta forget all the goofy shit.

We need you set picks, we need you to get deflections,

you know what I mean?

Don't worry about scoring, I got that.

And the most important thing, let me tell you something,

the most important thing about this whole shit,

about this team, is you don't question the process, okay?

The process asks you questions.

‐ What the fuck are you talking about?

‐ Another question, you doing it again.

‐ This nigga stupid as a mother fucker.

(upbeat music)

♪ I been working OT

♪ I been working over time