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1
00:00:09,928 --> 00:00:12,397
For the past few
years ricky gervais,
2
00:00:12,431 --> 00:00:15,133
Stephen merchant,
and karl pilkington
3
00:00:15,167 --> 00:00:17,168
Have been meeting regularly
4
00:00:17,202 --> 00:00:19,637
For a series of
pointless conversations.
5
00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:21,539
This is one of them.
6
00:00:21,573 --> 00:00:23,040
- Testing.
- Is that all right?
7
00:00:25,144 --> 00:00:28,312
Hello and welcome to
"the ricky gervais show"
8
00:00:28,347 --> 00:00:30,114
With me, ricky gervais,
stephen merchant...
9
00:00:30,149 --> 00:00:33,184
Hello. -...And the little
round-headed buffoon
10
00:00:33,218 --> 00:00:34,652
That is karl pilkington.
11
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:36,287
Hi.
12
00:00:36,357 --> 00:00:42,258
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
13
00:00:42,361 --> 00:00:45,163
Rick, you'll be pleased to know
we've already had some responses.
14
00:00:45,197 --> 00:00:47,432
Simon and mark have already
emailed us in this link
15
00:00:47,466 --> 00:00:49,667
To something that was
on the bbc news website.
16
00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:52,370
I don't know if you're familiar with this,
but it's a remarkable story.
17
00:00:52,404 --> 00:00:56,174
"lion mutilates 42 midgets
in cambodian ring fight."
18
00:00:56,208 --> 00:00:58,609
- That's just the headline.
- That's ahead of a headline.
19
00:00:58,644 --> 00:01:00,645
That makes me want to
know more about the story.
20
00:01:00,679 --> 00:01:02,613
That's what a headline should do.
21
00:01:02,648 --> 00:01:06,350
"spectators cheered as the entire
cambodian miet fighting league
22
00:01:06,385 --> 00:01:08,753
Squared off against
an african lion.
23
00:01:08,787 --> 00:01:10,788
Tickets had been
sold out three weeks
24
00:01:10,823 --> 00:01:12,156
Before the much- anticipated fight.
25
00:01:12,191 --> 00:01:15,159
The fight was organized
when an angry fan
26
00:01:15,194 --> 00:01:18,563
Contested yang sihamoni,
president of the c.M.F.L.,
27
00:01:18,597 --> 00:01:22,767
Claiming that one lion could defeat
his entire league of 42 fighters."
28
00:01:22,801 --> 00:01:26,137
Well, the fight was ended,
rick, after only 12 minutes,
29
00:01:26,171 --> 00:01:28,739
After which 28 of
the midget fighters
30
00:01:28,774 --> 00:01:30,908
- Were declared dead...
- Right.
31
00:01:30,943 --> 00:01:33,211
...While the other 14
suffered severe injuries
32
00:01:33,245 --> 00:01:36,047
Including broken bones, lost limbs and-
they were basically unable to fight.
33
00:01:36,081 --> 00:01:39,250
- But the lion wasn't hurt?
- It would seem that the lion was okay.
34
00:01:39,284 --> 00:01:40,818
Oh, good. Well, that's amazing.
35
00:01:40,853 --> 00:01:42,320
Karl, what are your
thoughts instantly?
36
00:01:42,354 --> 00:01:44,055
I mean, you're bound
to have a take on that.
37
00:01:44,089 --> 00:01:46,991
See, what's annoying me is
I've sent money to cambodia
38
00:01:47,025 --> 00:01:49,861
Because apparently they're hungry
and haven't got any energy.
39
00:01:49,895 --> 00:01:51,796
so what's going on?
40
00:01:51,830 --> 00:01:54,632
Well, it's much easier
to fill up a midget
41
00:01:54,666 --> 00:01:56,434
Than it is a regular cambodian.
42
00:01:56,468 --> 00:01:58,135
You know, they're
happy on a mars bar.
43
00:01:58,170 --> 00:01:59,737
I just feel like I'm
being cheated a bit.
44
00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:01,939
You were conned before with
a charity, weren't you?
45
00:02:01,974 --> 00:02:04,575
- Well, a few times, yeah.
- What about the old lady?
46
00:02:04,610 --> 00:02:06,477
- What was that?
- I got stopped.
47
00:02:06,512 --> 00:02:09,447
And it's like, uh,
they sort of drag you in by saying,
48
00:02:09,481 --> 00:02:12,016
"have you got a gran?" and I said,
"no, they died."
49
00:02:12,050 --> 00:02:13,985
It's like, "oh,
did they die of the cold?"
50
00:02:14,019 --> 00:02:17,321
"no, she was just ill,
what have you-- old age."
51
00:02:17,356 --> 00:02:19,490
She said, "well, what happens
with a lot of people's grans
52
00:02:19,525 --> 00:02:21,692
Is they die in the cold."
53
00:02:21,727 --> 00:02:23,528
I was like, "oh,
that's bad, innit?"
54
00:02:23,562 --> 00:02:25,329
So she's chatting and
showing me pictures
55
00:02:25,364 --> 00:02:27,498
Of these old women who look cold,
56
00:02:27,533 --> 00:02:29,100
Saying, "look at her. That's edna.
57
00:02:29,134 --> 00:02:31,068
She's got no family.
58
00:02:31,103 --> 00:02:32,870
She can't pay the
bills" and all that.
59
00:02:32,905 --> 00:02:35,540
So I'm like, "oh yeah?" anyway,
it goes on for about 15 minutes.
60
00:02:35,574 --> 00:02:38,342
You feel bad. You give them
your bank details, right?
61
00:02:38,377 --> 00:02:41,212
And what happens is,
every couple of months
62
00:02:41,246 --> 00:02:43,180
You get a letter from edna.
63
00:02:43,215 --> 00:02:44,849
It's not from her.
It's typed up and what have you.
64
00:02:44,883 --> 00:02:47,084
But there's a picture of edna.
65
00:02:47,119 --> 00:02:49,820
It's saying, "this December,
66
00:02:49,855 --> 00:02:52,623
Edna's gonna be extra cold.
It's cold outside.
67
00:02:52,658 --> 00:02:54,425
She can't afford to pay the heat."
68
00:02:54,459 --> 00:02:57,094
Yeah. - So you keep
paying every month,
69
00:02:57,129 --> 00:02:58,930
Like £5 or whatever.
70
00:02:58,964 --> 00:03:01,165
Get another letter
a few months later.
71
00:03:01,199 --> 00:03:03,568
Edna's sat there-- she's got a tan.
72
00:03:03,602 --> 00:03:05,970
what do you mean, she's got a tan?
73
00:03:06,004 --> 00:03:07,638
Well, when they said she's cold,
74
00:03:07,673 --> 00:03:09,740
I thought they meant for the heat and
not to send her on holiday for a month.
75
00:03:09,775 --> 00:03:11,742
She's sat there with a tan.
I'm not joking.
76
00:03:11,777 --> 00:03:13,411
are you sure it wasn't just
77
00:03:13,445 --> 00:03:15,947
- A slight problem in the printing?
- No no, definitely.
78
00:03:15,981 --> 00:03:18,316
- She looked well happy.
- Are you sure it wasn't liver failure?
79
00:03:18,350 --> 00:03:21,185
You see, when does it become bad
80
00:03:21,219 --> 00:03:22,753
To avoid people like that?
81
00:03:22,788 --> 00:03:24,755
Swme people say you shouldn't--
82
00:03:24,790 --> 00:03:28,025
That they're people like us
who've just had a bit of bad luck.
83
00:03:28,060 --> 00:03:29,994
- Well, of course they are.
- Yeah, I know,
84
00:03:30,028 --> 00:03:32,129
But I remember one on our estate.
85
00:03:32,164 --> 00:03:35,433
She was a bit-- what's the
word that you can use?
86
00:03:35,467 --> 00:03:37,168
I don't want to offend anyone.
87
00:03:37,202 --> 00:03:40,338
Homeless person. - Yeah,
but sort of a mental homeless.
88
00:03:40,372 --> 00:03:42,306
That's the official term.
89
00:03:42,341 --> 00:03:44,642
- Yes, I think that-
- - that is the very official term.
90
00:03:44,676 --> 00:03:46,777
"it's mental- homeless-itis.
" - right.
91
00:03:46,812 --> 00:03:49,647
So she lived on the
estate and what have you.
92
00:03:49,681 --> 00:03:52,750
And she aged-- - how was she
homeless if she lived othe estate?
93
00:03:52,784 --> 00:03:54,585
Well, she sort of decided
to stay around there...
94
00:03:54,620 --> 00:03:56,320
All right. -... 'cause
people on the estate
95
00:03:56,355 --> 00:03:58,289
Spoke to her more than
people who had money.
96
00:03:58,323 --> 00:04:00,491
So this mental illness
woman on the estate--
97
00:04:00,525 --> 00:04:02,960
And what she used to do--
98
00:04:02,995 --> 00:04:04,695
She acted quite normal.
99
00:04:04,730 --> 00:04:08,032
And she used to always push
a pram around with her.
100
00:04:08,066 --> 00:04:10,835
I was like, "she can't
have a kid, can she?"
101
00:04:10,869 --> 00:04:13,738
And she was dead happy every day
walking up and down the road.
102
00:04:13,772 --> 00:04:15,940
Anyway, one day she
had a walk past.
103
00:04:15,974 --> 00:04:18,743
I turned around and
looked in the pram.
104
00:04:18,777 --> 00:04:21,946
It was a bucket with a face on it.
105
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,921
Rick, we've had an email
here from a bloke.
106
00:04:30,956 --> 00:04:32,390
I think you're gonna respect him,
107
00:04:32,424 --> 00:04:34,492
Because I think you can tell
straight away from his name
108
00:04:34,526 --> 00:04:36,560
That he's the kind of guy
you'd want to hang out with.
109
00:04:36,595 --> 00:04:38,295
Go on. - I know how much
you love fun people.
110
00:04:38,330 --> 00:04:42,099
- Yeah. - Well, paul-
- and he's calling himself this--
111
00:04:42,134 --> 00:04:45,836
Paul "the party animal" parker,
he's emailed in.
112
00:04:45,871 --> 00:04:47,605
He's given himself that moniker.
113
00:04:47,639 --> 00:04:50,408
Right. I assume they're
in quote marks, are they?
114
00:04:50,442 --> 00:04:52,943
They're in speech marks.
Paul "the party animal" parker.
115
00:04:52,978 --> 00:04:54,445
And he's called
himself that? - Yeah.
116
00:04:54,479 --> 00:04:57,348
I can't-- - when you picture him,
what are you thinking?
117
00:04:57,382 --> 00:04:59,550
- Milhouse.
- Right, okay.
118
00:04:59,584 --> 00:05:02,420
I think he looks like
milhouse from "the simpsons."
119
00:05:02,454 --> 00:05:05,356
he's working in sort of an I.
T. Department?
120
00:05:05,390 --> 00:05:07,191
Yeah, probably.
121
00:05:07,225 --> 00:05:10,094
I think he might
still be at school.
122
00:05:10,128 --> 00:05:12,630
And this is the final question:
123
00:05:12,664 --> 00:05:14,331
Do you believe him
to be a party animal?
124
00:05:14,366 --> 00:05:16,333
I believe him to be a party animal
125
00:05:16,368 --> 00:05:19,303
Inasmuch that a man with a long
scarf that his mom knitted him
126
00:05:19,337 --> 00:05:23,107
To look like dr.
Who can be a party animal.
127
00:05:23,141 --> 00:05:25,276
Do you think that when people are
organizing parties at his school,
128
00:05:25,310 --> 00:05:27,178
They're thinking the first person
they've got to get on the list--
129
00:05:27,212 --> 00:05:30,514
To make sure-- - "you've got to
take paul 'the party animal.'"
130
00:05:30,549 --> 00:05:33,050
I bet he's got millions
of affectations.
131
00:05:33,085 --> 00:05:34,652
I bet he's the one
who wants to be known
132
00:05:34,686 --> 00:05:36,587
As the one who carries
around a biscuit tin.
133
00:05:36,621 --> 00:05:39,924
He's the guy who only
ever wears bowling shoes.
134
00:05:39,958 --> 00:05:43,227
It's his thing. It's his thing.
135
00:05:43,261 --> 00:05:44,962
He's a little bit kooky.
It's his thing.
136
00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:47,031
And it is fairly interesting
what he's sent in.
137
00:05:47,065 --> 00:05:48,299
He's found this on the web--
138
00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:50,835
A serbian man who has invented
139
00:05:50,869 --> 00:05:52,703
A sex machine for women.
140
00:05:52,738 --> 00:05:55,272
He's appealing to western
women to test his device.
141
00:05:55,307 --> 00:05:59,009
It runs on a 390-volt
electric engine,
142
00:05:59,044 --> 00:06:02,980
Simulates sex and has a
7 1/2" artificial penis.
143
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:04,682
As soon as I read this,
I was thinking--
144
00:06:04,716 --> 00:06:07,518
Just imagine in there going,
"oh, thanks for coming in.
145
00:06:07,552 --> 00:06:10,454
So what's gonna happen is there's a
penis that's gonna pop out from here
146
00:06:10,489 --> 00:06:12,323
And it's gonna have sex with you.
147
00:06:12,357 --> 00:06:14,825
I'm gonna stand behind
the machine. " -
148
00:06:14,860 --> 00:06:16,560
"I'm gonna stand behind here.
There's a lot of dials
149
00:06:16,595 --> 00:06:18,229
And stuff that I don't
want to bore you with."
150
00:06:18,263 --> 00:06:20,664
"why do you stand behind it?
" - "it's technical.
151
00:06:20,699 --> 00:06:22,166
I've got to be behind the machine."
152
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,034
"there's no penis at the moment.
Just a hole."
153
00:06:24,069 --> 00:06:25,836
"don't worry. What'll happen is
154
00:06:25,871 --> 00:06:27,872
I'll switch the machine on,
I'll go behind
155
00:06:27,906 --> 00:06:29,240
And then a penis will appear."
156
00:06:29,274 --> 00:06:30,941
"will it be a metal-looking penis?"
157
00:06:30,976 --> 00:06:33,144
"it will be a robotic penis,
but it will seem
158
00:06:33,178 --> 00:06:35,412
Like it's a regular
fleshy human penis."
159
00:06:35,447 --> 00:06:38,315
"so you've made this robot
penis look really realistic."
160
00:06:38,350 --> 00:06:40,184
"it's really realistic.
You will not be able
161
00:06:40,218 --> 00:06:42,653
To tell the difference between
the robot one and mine."
162
00:06:42,687 --> 00:06:45,189
"well, I don't want to see yours.
" - "no, absolutely not."
163
00:06:45,223 --> 00:06:47,258
"I've not come here to
have sex with a person."
164
00:06:47,292 --> 00:06:50,461
"you've come to have sex with a machine.
That's what you're gonna get
165
00:06:50,495 --> 00:06:53,030
- With the use of mechanical"-
- -
166
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:56,367
To a lot of people,
sex is important.
167
00:06:56,401 --> 00:06:58,702
Not to you? - Well,
it serves a purpose.
168
00:06:58,737 --> 00:07:00,504
what purpose?
169
00:07:00,539 --> 00:07:02,439
You don't want to have kids,
so what purpose?
170
00:07:02,474 --> 00:07:05,142
- Just, you know.
- Something to do in the evening?
171
00:07:05,177 --> 00:07:06,443
- Summat to do, innit?
- When the telly's broke.
172
00:07:06,478 --> 00:07:09,246
But for years,
they've found machines
173
00:07:09,281 --> 00:07:11,615
- From, like, roman times.
- No.
174
00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:13,417
No machines in roman times.
175
00:07:13,451 --> 00:07:16,620
Like that, though-- the old,
sort of knob- on-a-stick machine.
176
00:07:19,224 --> 00:07:21,692
The old roman knob on a stick?
177
00:07:21,726 --> 00:07:23,961
I'm sorry, but I've watched
"time team" every week
178
00:07:23,995 --> 00:07:25,763
And tony robinson has
never done that--
179
00:07:25,797 --> 00:07:27,198
An knob-on-a-stick machine.
180
00:07:27,232 --> 00:07:29,366
I just think of julius
caesar sitting down
181
00:07:29,401 --> 00:07:32,069
And going, "okay, aqueduct,
we love that. Thanks for that.
182
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:35,372
Straight roads? Good idea.
We can see the enemy coming."
183
00:07:35,407 --> 00:07:38,542
"well, I've"-- - "glonkticus,
what have you got there?
184
00:07:38,577 --> 00:07:40,778
Wanklicus."
185
00:07:40,812 --> 00:07:44,415
"what I've got here
is a ye olde knob
186
00:07:44,449 --> 00:07:47,251
And I've put that on
the end of a stick."
187
00:07:47,285 --> 00:07:50,054
"oh, a stickus phallus?
Well done, wanklicus.
188
00:07:50,088 --> 00:07:53,991
Well done. You are my new right-hand man,
as they say. Excellent."
189
00:07:54,025 --> 00:07:55,993
But they do do stuff like that.
190
00:07:56,027 --> 00:07:59,129
You've been in the london
museum and they've got
191
00:07:59,164 --> 00:08:01,198
Sort of sex stuff from years ago.
192
00:08:01,233 --> 00:08:04,501
They've got these metal pants
that they used to wear.
193
00:08:04,536 --> 00:08:06,704
- I don't know what that is!
- Metal pants?
194
00:08:06,738 --> 00:08:08,973
- Yeah, a sort of metal--
- a chastity belt, you mean?
195
00:08:09,007 --> 00:08:10,975
They used to make women wear them.
196
00:08:11,009 --> 00:08:13,677
No, but they have them for
blokes as well, though.
197
00:08:13,712 --> 00:08:15,579
Metal pants for blokes? Why?
198
00:08:15,614 --> 00:08:18,749
No, I just think they liked
sort of sexy metal pants.
199
00:08:18,783 --> 00:08:21,018
I don't know what you
mean by sexy metal pants.
200
00:08:21,052 --> 00:08:23,187
Well, we'll have to look,
'cause I haven't got it in front of me.
201
00:08:23,221 --> 00:08:25,789
It's just something I remember seeing-
sexy metal pants.
202
00:08:25,824 --> 00:08:27,458
But what are you saying?
Sexy metal pants?
203
00:08:27,492 --> 00:08:29,994
Karl, that was no british museum-
that was soho.
204
00:08:30,028 --> 00:08:32,096
That was old compton street.
You were looking in a shop window.
205
00:08:32,130 --> 00:08:34,164
They always had to be
ready for battle and that,
206
00:08:34,199 --> 00:08:35,666
But these were a little bit sexy,
207
00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:37,368
But protective at the same time.
208
00:08:37,402 --> 00:08:40,104
I love that!
209
00:08:40,138 --> 00:08:42,840
Sir lancelot, are you ready
to face the black knight?
210
00:08:42,874 --> 00:08:44,508
What do you think of these, huh?
211
00:08:44,542 --> 00:08:46,176
I want to look good
on the battlefield.
212
00:08:46,211 --> 00:08:47,945
Will there be women watching,
cheering us on?
213
00:08:47,979 --> 00:08:50,347
Well, you're not gonna
fight like that, are you?
214
00:08:50,382 --> 00:08:53,317
I'm gonna wear nothing except
these sexy metal pants.
215
00:08:53,351 --> 00:08:55,052
What about-- your chest is exposed.
216
00:08:55,086 --> 00:08:57,354
Well, it's a good chest.
I've been working out.
217
00:08:57,389 --> 00:08:59,990
No, but what I mean is
you want metal all over.
218
00:09:00,025 --> 00:09:02,326
I've actually been lifting
up the round table.
219
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,395
I just work out,
do that about four times a day.
220
00:09:04,429 --> 00:09:07,464
But that machine, right, why--
221
00:09:07,499 --> 00:09:09,233
Did it have to be a woman
222
00:09:09,267 --> 00:09:11,835
Or could they have got
a little gay fellow in?
223
00:09:11,870 --> 00:09:14,171
I-- I--
224
00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:16,507
Let me just check. Um...
225
00:09:16,541 --> 00:09:18,575
It doesn't actually specify
in the small print.
226
00:09:18,610 --> 00:09:21,312
I love that. Why do you want
to see a little gay fellow be--
227
00:09:21,346 --> 00:09:23,447
No, I don't want to see it.
I'm just saying--
228
00:09:23,481 --> 00:09:26,517
- Karl, why do you want--
- I don't want to see it.
229
00:09:26,551 --> 00:09:29,420
Why do you want to watch a gay
man get buggered by a robot?
230
00:09:29,454 --> 00:09:32,957
I wasn't the one typing in
"gay machines" on the internet.
231
00:09:32,991 --> 00:09:35,059
- Steve was.
- It's not a gay machine!
232
00:09:35,093 --> 00:09:36,927
You just made it into
a gay machine. - Yeah.
233
00:09:36,962 --> 00:09:39,663
He wanted to pleasure
women with this machine.
234
00:09:39,698 --> 00:09:41,699
You're saying,
"can I see a little gay fellow
235
00:09:41,733 --> 00:09:43,801
Get a robotic cock up his ass?"
236
00:09:43,835 --> 00:09:45,102
You're the one requesting that,
karl pilkington.
237
00:09:45,136 --> 00:09:46,570
I don't want that.
I'm just saying--
238
00:09:46,604 --> 00:09:48,973
You're the one that
wants to see gay men
239
00:09:49,007 --> 00:09:51,141
With metal stuff up their anus.
240
00:09:51,176 --> 00:09:53,210
All I'm saying is
241
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,079
They're up for a bit more
experimentation than--
242
00:09:55,113 --> 00:09:58,349
- What are you saying? Why is that the case?
- Why? Why'd you say that?
243
00:09:58,383 --> 00:10:01,085
No, just-- just, you know--
244
00:10:01,119 --> 00:10:03,787
Butt plugs and that.
What I'm saying is--
245
00:10:03,822 --> 00:10:06,223
You can't just say "
butt plugs and that."
246
00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:08,759
I'm just saying that I
reckon they'd be up for it.
247
00:10:08,793 --> 00:10:12,029
- What do you know about butt plugs?
- I don't know anything.
248
00:10:12,063 --> 00:10:14,999
I just remember seeing an advert
for some ones in a sex shop.
249
00:10:15,033 --> 00:10:16,667
What are you doing-
what are you doing--
250
00:10:16,701 --> 00:10:18,469
No, I wasn't.
I was just walking past.
251
00:10:18,503 --> 00:10:20,537
I was walking past the
sex shop and that.
252
00:10:20,572 --> 00:10:23,640
Mm-hmm.
253
00:10:23,675 --> 00:10:25,809
Why were you walking
past a sex shop?
254
00:10:25,844 --> 00:10:27,878
It was on the way to work.
I passed one.
255
00:10:27,912 --> 00:10:29,613
There was a little, sort of--
256
00:10:29,647 --> 00:10:31,915
It was open early,
which I never understood.
257
00:10:31,950 --> 00:10:34,218
Right? It was about 8:
00 in the morning.
258
00:10:34,252 --> 00:10:36,553
Who's rushing out for butt plugs
that early in the morning?
259
00:10:36,588 --> 00:10:38,188
Yeah. Who needs them now, right?
260
00:10:38,223 --> 00:10:42,259
"I must get a bagel and some
poppers on the way to work."
261
00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:45,295
I walked past and it had
like a little st-it note--
262
00:10:45,330 --> 00:10:47,831
A postcard type thing
and it was like,
263
00:10:47,866 --> 00:10:51,201
"pop in now, buy an item,
chuck in some free butt plugs."
264
00:10:51,236 --> 00:10:55,005
I didn't know what they were for.
I'd never heard of them.
265
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:58,609
All I'm saying is I've since found
out what they do do with them.
266
00:10:58,643 --> 00:11:00,210
- What do they do with them?
- And if they do do that with them,
267
00:11:00,245 --> 00:11:02,246
Give 'em a go on that.
268
00:11:07,452 --> 00:11:10,954
I've another email here. It's an
interesting fact. I'm hoping it's true.
269
00:11:10,989 --> 00:11:13,223
America's first nudist organization
270
00:11:13,258 --> 00:11:15,092
Apparently was founded in 1929
271
00:11:15,126 --> 00:11:16,894
By three men.
272
00:11:16,928 --> 00:11:18,796
Now what intrigued
me when I read that
273
00:11:18,830 --> 00:11:21,331
Is the fact that it's
clearly three blokes
274
00:11:21,366 --> 00:11:23,000
Just trying to meet
some nude women.
275
00:11:23,034 --> 00:11:24,868
They're all 52 and balding...
276
00:11:24,903 --> 00:11:26,637
Exactly.
277
00:11:26,671 --> 00:11:29,406
-...With little-sized
gold-rimmed glasses. - Yeah.
278
00:11:29,441 --> 00:11:30,741
Yeah. - And they're
just wandering around
279
00:11:30,775 --> 00:11:32,543
And it's all quite
saggy down there.
280
00:11:32,577 --> 00:11:34,978
They're knocking on doors saying,
"we've just set up an organization.
281
00:11:35,013 --> 00:11:37,848
It's above-board, completely legitimate.
It's a nudist organization.
282
00:11:37,882 --> 00:11:40,818
Um, you got any women in there
that want to come and join us?
283
00:11:40,852 --> 00:11:42,453
We don't have any female
members at the moment.
284
00:11:42,487 --> 00:11:45,456
Got any women in there, you know,
interested in volleyball or"--
285
00:11:45,490 --> 00:11:47,558
I can't be dealing with that, me.
286
00:11:47,592 --> 00:11:49,560
You hate nudists,
don't you? - Nudists.
287
00:11:49,594 --> 00:11:52,496
I don't understand what it's all
about at the end of the day.
288
00:11:52,530 --> 00:11:54,398
And here's something:
289
00:11:54,432 --> 00:11:57,401
Do you know--
when you're a bloke nudist,
290
00:11:57,435 --> 00:12:00,104
Do you ever get any
291
00:12:00,138 --> 00:12:02,339
Who just have, like, a small knob?
292
00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:04,641
I don't understand the question.
293
00:12:04,676 --> 00:12:06,176
What's your point?
294
00:12:06,211 --> 00:12:08,145
Well, you know,
are there any blokes
295
00:12:08,179 --> 00:12:11,915
Who just have a normal-sized knob
or maybe a bit smaller than normal
296
00:12:11,950 --> 00:12:15,819
Who are happy wandering
about showing off
297
00:12:15,854 --> 00:12:18,388
What they haven't got,
if you know what I mean?
298
00:12:18,423 --> 00:12:21,225
I don't think nudists are doing it
299
00:12:21,259 --> 00:12:23,427
'cause they're so
proud of their knob. -
300
00:12:23,461 --> 00:12:25,095
No, but there's got to be a
little bit of that, isn't there?
301
00:12:25,130 --> 00:12:29,199
I'm just saying most
blokes who are nudists,
302
00:12:29,234 --> 00:12:32,069
They must be pretty
confident in themselves.
303
00:12:32,103 --> 00:12:34,271
I looked once.
304
00:12:34,305 --> 00:12:36,406
- Where are you hanging out?
- What is this?
305
00:12:36,441 --> 00:12:38,408
- It's natural, that's what I'm saying.
- What do you mean?
306
00:12:38,443 --> 00:12:42,079
This is karl-takes-a-sneaky-
look-at-men's-cocks.Com?
307
00:12:42,113 --> 00:12:44,748
Where was this happening?
308
00:12:44,782 --> 00:12:47,618
So you were in a gym and a lot
of guys are getting changed
309
00:12:47,652 --> 00:12:49,153
And you're just checking
out their knobs?
310
00:12:49,187 --> 00:12:50,721
You're at your bedroom window
with a pair of binoculars
311
00:12:50,755 --> 00:12:53,123
And there was a little fellow
across the road getting changed.
312
00:12:53,158 --> 00:12:54,491
I was at some night out once--
313
00:12:54,526 --> 00:12:56,693
So you were at heaven and
you were in the toilets.
314
00:12:56,728 --> 00:12:58,695
--At some night out
315
00:12:58,730 --> 00:13:00,731
And some people come
running on the stage.
316
00:13:00,765 --> 00:13:04,034
Some music started coming on
and these four people run out--
317
00:13:04,068 --> 00:13:05,469
Two women-- - so you're
at a gay strip club.
318
00:13:05,503 --> 00:13:08,005
It wasn't gay.
It was just a normal night--
319
00:13:08,039 --> 00:13:10,107
Well, some sort of party night out.
320
00:13:10,141 --> 00:13:12,609
These-- these people
come running on, right?
321
00:13:12,644 --> 00:13:15,212
You got two women.
You got two blokes.
322
00:13:15,246 --> 00:13:17,881
They whip their knickers off,
the fellows whip their undies off.
323
00:13:17,916 --> 00:13:20,184
- At the same time?
- Yeah, all at the same time.
324
00:13:20,218 --> 00:13:21,885
Was it like a choreographed thing?
325
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,320
- Go on.
- So that happened
326
00:13:23,354 --> 00:13:25,355
And all I'm saying is
327
00:13:25,390 --> 00:13:27,291
Before I had a look at
the woman's bits, right,
328
00:13:27,325 --> 00:13:29,026
I just had a little cheeky
glance at the fellas.
329
00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:31,161
- Both: Why?
- Just checking it out.
330
00:13:31,196 --> 00:13:33,096
Just seeing is everything
normal down there.
331
00:13:33,131 --> 00:13:35,199
Why weren't your eyes drawn
instantly to the ladies' bits?
332
00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:38,168
I-- no, believe me,
I had a look at that.
333
00:13:38,203 --> 00:13:39,903
- All I'm saying-
- - but you went to the guys first.
334
00:13:39,938 --> 00:13:43,173
Just-- just-- I didn't know how long
pants were gonna be left off for.
335
00:13:43,208 --> 00:13:46,009
So you didn't wanna miss your
opportunity is what you're saying.
336
00:13:46,044 --> 00:13:49,146
You saw window of opportunity
to see some men's bits
337
00:13:49,180 --> 00:13:50,747
And you thought "I'd
better take it." - no no.
338
00:13:50,782 --> 00:13:53,217
- 'cause this may never happen again.
- So what happened?
339
00:13:53,251 --> 00:13:56,019
So you-- there's two women,
two men, right?
340
00:13:56,054 --> 00:13:57,988
Um, I don't know what
sort of event this is
341
00:13:58,022 --> 00:14:00,824
Where you're looking at anyone
get their knickers and pants off.
342
00:14:00,858 --> 00:14:02,359
I don't know why
you're looking at all.
343
00:14:02,393 --> 00:14:03,760
So you go-- you go, "right.
344
00:14:03,795 --> 00:14:05,529
There's knickers and
pants off, right.
345
00:14:05,563 --> 00:14:07,564
Let's check out the knob
and testicles first."
346
00:14:07,599 --> 00:14:09,833
You're telling meyo-
347
00:14:09,867 --> 00:14:11,101
When you've been in
a gym or anything,
348
00:14:11,135 --> 00:14:12,603
You've not just sort
of turned your head,
349
00:14:12,637 --> 00:14:14,471
Had a look and gone, "yep,
that's all right."
350
00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:17,474
So let's just get
this question right.
351
00:14:17,508 --> 00:14:19,409
Have we ever been in a gym
352
00:14:19,444 --> 00:14:21,712
And just taken a sneaky
glance at a man's genitals?
353
00:14:21,746 --> 00:14:23,280
- Is that your question?
- Right.
354
00:14:23,314 --> 00:14:28,252
For me, it's the same
as when you see someone
355
00:14:28,286 --> 00:14:31,288
Who's a bit odd-
two heads or whatever.
356
00:14:31,322 --> 00:14:33,690
Well, I'll be honest.
357
00:14:33,725 --> 00:14:37,694
If I was in a gym and a bloke
came in with two heads, I'd look.
358
00:14:37,729 --> 00:14:41,064
I'd try-- I'd get a sneaky
glance in the mirror. I'd go--
359
00:14:41,099 --> 00:14:43,100
Sorry, but you'd look at his
genitals or his two heads?
360
00:14:43,134 --> 00:14:44,901
- His two heads.
- Or would you sneak--
361
00:14:44,936 --> 00:14:47,571
You'd look at the heads and then think,
"I wonder if he's got two cocks."
362
00:14:47,605 --> 00:14:48,972
I don't-- have a look there.
363
00:14:49,007 --> 00:14:51,942
I tell you what-- now I admit it.
364
00:14:51,976 --> 00:14:54,578
If I'm ever in a
gym and a naked man
365
00:14:54,612 --> 00:14:58,548
With two heads walks in, I probably
will check out the genitals as well,
366
00:14:58,583 --> 00:15:00,083
Just to make sure that
he's got two of everything.
367
00:15:00,118 --> 00:15:01,918
Can I tell you the thing
that always freaks me out?
368
00:15:01,953 --> 00:15:04,121
I do sometimes go to the gym
and I live in north london.
369
00:15:04,155 --> 00:15:05,422
And the thing that
always freaks me out
370
00:15:05,456 --> 00:15:09,192
Is if there's an elderly man-
often quite short--
371
00:15:09,227 --> 00:15:10,927
Uh, I'm always freaked out
372
00:15:10,962 --> 00:15:12,029
'cause there's at
least two I'm aware of
373
00:15:12,063 --> 00:15:13,997
Who've got very very large penises.
374
00:15:14,032 --> 00:15:15,766
And I always find
that really disturbing
375
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,535
'cause I--
you can't help but notice
376
00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:21,238
'cause it's like godzilla coming
through the changing room.
377
00:15:21,272 --> 00:15:23,674
Do you know what I mean?
So that I do admit.
378
00:15:23,708 --> 00:15:25,609
That's the only instance where my
eyes'd be naturally drawn to it.
379
00:15:25,643 --> 00:15:27,611
Do you know what annoys me in gyms?
380
00:15:27,645 --> 00:15:31,114
Where people walk around happily
naked all the time whistling.
381
00:15:31,149 --> 00:15:32,482
They get weighed naked.
382
00:15:32,517 --> 00:15:34,284
Pop a towel on and
take off three ounces.
383
00:15:34,319 --> 00:15:36,386
How exact have those
measurements gotta be?
384
00:15:36,421 --> 00:15:38,288
Yeah. - Do you know what I mean?
Pop a towel on.
385
00:15:38,323 --> 00:15:40,157
I mean unless you're going
on the space shuttle,
386
00:15:40,191 --> 00:15:43,527
I reckon you could give or take a couple
of-- couple of stone yeah.
387
00:15:43,561 --> 00:15:46,129
Exactly. Yeah yeah.
Absolutely right.
388
00:15:46,164 --> 00:15:48,899
Well, we've- we've put that to bed.
389
00:15:50,668 --> 00:15:52,336
Karl, can I ask you
a question? - Go on.
390
00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:54,237
I know this is what a lot of
the fans are already wondering.
391
00:15:54,272 --> 00:15:55,439
Is there gonna be some
monkey news today?
392
00:15:55,473 --> 00:15:56,807
- There's gotta be.
- Of course there is.
393
00:15:56,841 --> 00:15:57,874
- Both: Yeah?
- No question.
394
00:15:57,909 --> 00:16:00,410
Well, I don't-- I'm worried
395
00:16:00,445 --> 00:16:02,312
Because maybe this will
steal your thunder.
396
00:16:02,347 --> 00:16:04,247
Sarah has emailed this in--
397
00:16:04,282 --> 00:16:06,616
A chimp mauling
under investigation.
398
00:16:06,651 --> 00:16:09,186
I know you were concerned
'cause this actually fuses
399
00:16:09,220 --> 00:16:11,555
Two of our greatest features-
monkey news and knob news.
400
00:16:11,589 --> 00:16:14,491
It's just one-
into one seamless whole.
401
00:16:14,525 --> 00:16:16,893
Investigators said they
are trying to figure out
402
00:16:16,961 --> 00:16:19,796
How two chimpanzees that
viciously attacked a visitor
403
00:16:19,831 --> 00:16:23,033
At an animal sanctuary
escaped from their cage.
404
00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:24,601
This is the grim bit.
405
00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:26,803
The chimps chewed off a man's nose
406
00:16:26,838 --> 00:16:29,706
And severely mauled his
genitals and limbs.
407
00:16:29,741 --> 00:16:31,908
Why did they go for his genitals?
408
00:16:31,943 --> 00:16:33,744
Both of 'em did as well.
409
00:16:33,778 --> 00:16:35,579
- Eh?
- Both of 'em.
410
00:16:35,613 --> 00:16:36,813
Did you say two chimps?
411
00:16:36,848 --> 00:16:39,216
Uh, no, you're right. Yeah.
It was chimpanzees, two.
412
00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:42,953
They just saw that they were
dangling away and they--
413
00:16:42,987 --> 00:16:47,023
"you go for the nose.
I'll go for his bollocks."
414
00:16:47,058 --> 00:16:49,459
- What accent have they got there?
- I don't know.
415
00:16:49,494 --> 00:16:51,528
Were they kind of new
york gangster chimps?
416
00:16:51,562 --> 00:16:53,530
"soprano" chimps?
417
00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:56,867
What-- what happened
to 'em, anyway?
418
00:16:56,901 --> 00:17:00,203
Uh, well unfortunately,
they were shot dead by the authorities.
419
00:17:00,238 --> 00:17:02,572
You see, that annoys me a bit.
420
00:17:02,607 --> 00:17:04,374
I know. Again-- - what are y?
421
00:17:04,409 --> 00:17:05,776
They were attacking
people's gonads.
422
00:17:05,810 --> 00:17:08,578
I know, but they were
happy a african jungle
423
00:17:08,613 --> 00:17:10,981
- A couple of years ago.
- That was what they do, isn't it?
424
00:17:11,015 --> 00:17:12,149
That is what they do.
425
00:17:12,183 --> 00:17:14,184
But why aren't they just
sort of tranquilized?
426
00:17:14,218 --> 00:17:16,119
Where was this?
427
00:17:16,154 --> 00:17:17,854
Why am I being accused
like it was my fault?
428
00:17:17,889 --> 00:17:20,090
Just 'cause I happen to be-
sarah who emailed in,
429
00:17:20,124 --> 00:17:21,391
That's the one who should
be getting a bollocking.
430
00:17:21,426 --> 00:17:23,393
It just annoys me how one way,
it's kind of like
431
00:17:23,428 --> 00:17:25,061
We're trying to save the pandas
432
00:17:25,096 --> 00:17:27,197
And then the next day someone's
shooting 'em or whatever.
433
00:17:27,231 --> 00:17:28,632
I've talked about this before--
434
00:17:28,666 --> 00:17:30,367
About st. George
killed the last dragon.
435
00:17:30,401 --> 00:17:31,902
- Right?
- No, it didn't exist.
436
00:17:31,936 --> 00:17:33,503
It's the same thing.
437
00:17:33,538 --> 00:17:35,338
No no, there-- there's
never been any dragons.
438
00:17:35,373 --> 00:17:36,640
It's a mythical creature.
439
00:17:36,674 --> 00:17:38,875
By "mythical,
" it means we made this up--
440
00:17:38,910 --> 00:17:40,544
- Like the unicorn.
- Well, I--
441
00:17:40,578 --> 00:17:43,046
I don't even-- what was
your point about the dragon?
442
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,248
- What's that got to with this?
- Because I'm saying
443
00:17:45,283 --> 00:17:47,784
How-- why is it all
right to be going around
444
00:17:47,819 --> 00:17:50,420
Going mental with a gun,
shooting all the monkeys and killing 'em?
445
00:17:50,455 --> 00:17:51,621
One day we're gonna run out.
446
00:17:51,656 --> 00:17:54,157
This is an animal sanctuary though.
447
00:17:54,192 --> 00:17:55,926
So presumably they had
quite a cushy time there.
448
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,627
The ones I've visited,
they've got it easy.
449
00:17:57,662 --> 00:18:00,397
They're hanging around on tires.
They got comfy chairs.
450
00:18:00,431 --> 00:18:01,965
They're wanking.
451
00:18:01,999 --> 00:18:04,000
They going berserk.
They're loving it.
452
00:18:04,035 --> 00:18:06,670
But hang on a minute. You've just
answered your own question there.
453
00:18:06,704 --> 00:18:08,271
You said they're in a sanctuary.
454
00:18:08,306 --> 00:18:10,040
So they haven't had
a good upbringing.
455
00:18:10,074 --> 00:18:12,943
So they're gonna be a bit madder
than other monkeys, aren't they?
456
00:18:12,977 --> 00:18:15,445
That's where the ill ones go,
isn't it?
457
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,148
So what do you understand
by "sanctuary"?
458
00:18:18,182 --> 00:18:21,451
- Well, I've been to one for seals.
- It's not like a borstal
459
00:18:21,486 --> 00:18:23,820
Yeah, exactly-
he thinks it's a borstal!
460
00:18:23,855 --> 00:18:26,122
- It's like scum.
- Yeah yeah, like they did
461
00:18:26,157 --> 00:18:28,325
Some bad stuff in the jungle
462
00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:29,926
And they had a little monkey court,
463
00:18:29,961 --> 00:18:32,596
And they went,
"send him to borstal."
464
00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:33,930
Well, what is it then?
465
00:18:33,965 --> 00:18:35,966
No, it's a monkey sanctuary,
466
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,601
Where like-- like a haven.
467
00:18:37,635 --> 00:18:39,703
It's not a haven, is it?
They got a bullet in the head.
468
00:18:44,308 --> 00:18:47,611
Talking of, uh, eating knobs,
469
00:18:47,645 --> 00:18:52,048
Carol thatcher--
a daughter of one of our leaders.
470
00:18:52,083 --> 00:18:55,051
Well, you saw her in "I'm a celebrity...
Get me out of here."
471
00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:56,620
She popped a couple of
bollocks in the mouth,
472
00:18:56,654 --> 00:18:57,821
Chewed them up, swallowed 'em.
473
00:18:57,855 --> 00:19:01,091
Kangaroo, uh, penis there, dried.
474
00:19:01,125 --> 00:19:03,660
It was so tough,
she couldn't even get through it.
475
00:19:03,694 --> 00:19:07,063
- Eventually, she eats it.
- Was it like a pepperoni?
476
00:19:07,098 --> 00:19:08,798
Yeah and she-- what do
you think of that, karl?
477
00:19:08,833 --> 00:19:10,834
What, eating that
sort of stuff? - Yeah.
478
00:19:10,868 --> 00:19:13,036
I just-- I mean, I-- I-- I watch.
479
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:14,804
I like those little
trial bits, right?
480
00:19:14,839 --> 00:19:17,274
- Yeah.
- But what--
481
00:19:17,308 --> 00:19:19,409
What I don't think
people realize is, right,
482
00:19:19,443 --> 00:19:23,013
It is hard eating a
little kangaroo knob.
483
00:19:23,047 --> 00:19:24,447
Really? How do you know?
484
00:19:24,482 --> 00:19:26,283
No, it's just, you know,
you think about it.
485
00:19:26,317 --> 00:19:28,051
You go, "oh,
couldn't do that," right?
486
00:19:28,085 --> 00:19:29,920
But what they never
mention on the tv program,
487
00:19:29,954 --> 00:19:32,622
Which I think takes
it to the next level--
488
00:19:32,657 --> 00:19:34,958
They're eating that like
half past 7:00in the.
489
00:19:34,992 --> 00:19:37,827
Sure. -...Which is worse, isn't it?
490
00:19:37,862 --> 00:19:39,696
- Ricky: Yeah.
- Do you know what I mean?
491
00:19:39,730 --> 00:19:42,699
If-- if-- if I was there,
and-- and dec said,
492
00:19:42,733 --> 00:19:44,267
"right, karl, eat the knob,"
493
00:19:44,302 --> 00:19:47,437
I'd go, "hang on a minute.
Give us a few hours.
494
00:19:47,471 --> 00:19:49,506
Let me get some rice
and that on my belly
495
00:19:49,540 --> 00:19:51,308
And just sort of fill
me up a little bit more,
496
00:19:51,342 --> 00:19:54,210
I'll pop back about half 6:
00 this evening.
497
00:19:54,245 --> 00:19:55,779
Have it ready."
498
00:19:55,813 --> 00:19:57,881
And I'd be happier then.
499
00:19:57,915 --> 00:19:59,916
It's just-- it's just
that thing of, you know--
500
00:19:59,951 --> 00:20:02,953
You don't wanna-- you don't wanna eat
animal genitals on an empty stomach.
501
00:20:02,987 --> 00:20:04,888
- So what are you saying?
- I'm saying, like,
502
00:20:04,922 --> 00:20:07,190
I could eat-- I could eat
a knob at night, but--
503
00:20:07,224 --> 00:20:09,426
Just cut that there.
We'll loop that.
504
00:20:09,460 --> 00:20:11,728
If any djs are listening,
505
00:20:11,762 --> 00:20:14,464
Uh, just take that quote,
"I could eat a knob at night"
506
00:20:14,498 --> 00:20:18,134
By karl pilkington,
maybe do a dance remix?
507
00:20:18,169 --> 00:20:20,437
Maybe sort of a house producer
508
00:20:20,471 --> 00:20:22,606
Could maybe get some kind
of high-energy beat going
509
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,274
And then we could just send that
out to some of the gay clubs.
510
00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:25,742
I'm sure it'd be really popular.
511
00:20:25,776 --> 00:20:29,045
Please please, anyone,
send us that looped
512
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,147
With a nice little
funky house beat--
513
00:20:31,182 --> 00:20:33,783
Karl pilkington saying "
I could eat a knob at night."
514
00:20:36,287 --> 00:20:38,221
It's that time again.
It's what everyone's waiting for.
515
00:20:38,255 --> 00:20:39,522
Can you do the jingle for us?
516
00:20:39,557 --> 00:20:43,026
* oh, chimpanzee,
that monkey news. *
517
00:20:45,329 --> 00:20:47,397
All right, this week,
the monkey news is about--
518
00:20:47,431 --> 00:20:49,799
We all know these
monkeys knocking about
519
00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:51,601
- That aren't happy...
- Right, yeah.
520
00:20:51,636 --> 00:20:52,869
- ...In this country.
- Surely.
521
00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:54,270
It is a big problem.
It's an epidemic.
522
00:20:54,305 --> 00:20:56,039
So they've set up this--
523
00:20:56,073 --> 00:20:58,675
This place where they all go--
524
00:20:58,709 --> 00:21:00,977
The ones that aren't happy
in a zoo and what have you,
525
00:21:01,012 --> 00:21:02,579
It's getting 'em down.
526
00:21:02,613 --> 00:21:04,381
They can phone a number and
they'll come and pick 'em up.
527
00:21:04,415 --> 00:21:06,449
Pop 'em in this-
this house place, right?
528
00:21:06,484 --> 00:21:09,185
And basically they can
run riot in there.
529
00:21:09,220 --> 00:21:11,988
They get freedom to sort
of cheer themselves up.
530
00:21:12,023 --> 00:21:13,757
There's three people
running this place, right?
531
00:21:13,791 --> 00:21:16,426
So these monkeys-
big house and that--
532
00:21:16,460 --> 00:21:17,427
Playstation. Anything.
533
00:21:17,495 --> 00:21:20,096
- Karl: Gym, all that.
- Gym.
534
00:21:20,131 --> 00:21:25,201
One of them wanted to mess
about with the woman's breasts.
535
00:21:25,236 --> 00:21:27,904
- Stephen: Which woman's breasts?
- The woman who works there.
536
00:21:27,938 --> 00:21:29,072
- Stephen: Right.
- Right?
537
00:21:29,106 --> 00:21:32,075
And she was like,
"right, pack it in.
538
00:21:32,109 --> 00:21:34,044
We've all had a bit of fun."
539
00:21:34,078 --> 00:21:36,646
Uh, he'd been in the
gym and everything,
540
00:21:36,681 --> 00:21:38,682
Obviously, you know,
got a bit excited,
541
00:21:38,716 --> 00:21:41,117
Was fired up, ready for
more action and that.
542
00:21:41,152 --> 00:21:44,020
He's trying to have a go on
this woman's breasts, right?
543
00:21:44,055 --> 00:21:45,255
- She was like--
- have a go.
544
00:21:45,289 --> 00:21:47,090
She was like, "no,
you're not doing that."
545
00:21:47,124 --> 00:21:48,858
Pack it in and all that.
546
00:21:48,893 --> 00:21:51,027
The boss who's running
the place was like,
547
00:21:51,062 --> 00:21:53,663
"uh, come on. Let him have a go."
548
00:21:53,698 --> 00:21:55,799
Wait, you're talking shit.
549
00:21:55,833 --> 00:21:57,167
So anyway, right,
so he's there and--
550
00:21:57,201 --> 00:21:59,102
So the boss says, "yeah,
you can have a grope"?
551
00:21:59,136 --> 00:22:00,303
The boss is saying,
"let him have a go."
552
00:22:00,337 --> 00:22:01,771
"come on, rita,
553
00:22:01,806 --> 00:22:03,640
If monkey wants to play
with nipples, let him."
554
00:22:03,674 --> 00:22:05,375
Soshe's li "
I'm not happy with this."
555
00:22:05,409 --> 00:22:06,843
And he's going,
"you know the rules here.
556
00:22:06,877 --> 00:22:08,078
We've gotta cheer
these monkeys up."
557
00:22:08,112 --> 00:22:12,015
- This is absolute bollocks.
- Actually, no.
558
00:22:12,049 --> 00:22:14,484
And in the end, because she
didn't allow it to happen,
559
00:22:14,518 --> 00:22:17,020
The bloke sacked her,
got someone else in.
560
00:22:17,054 --> 00:22:18,521
I want to see the advert
561
00:22:18,556 --> 00:22:21,958
He put in "the guardian" media page.
I'd love that.
562
00:22:21,992 --> 00:22:25,295
"woman wanted to let chimp
feel tits whenever it wants."
563
00:22:25,329 --> 00:22:26,329
Well, it's all up there.
564
00:22:26,363 --> 00:22:29,099
You're talking absolute shit again.
565
00:22:29,133 --> 00:22:32,135
- Well, we'll see.
- There is no way that happened.
566
00:22:32,169 --> 00:22:40,839
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
46926
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