All language subtitles for Schooled s02e11 Boy Bands.eng

LAINEY: The '90s was
the golden age of the boy band.

From Backstreet Boys to NSYNC,
it was an ongoing battle

to decide which one
was king of them all.

And at our school, the debate
raged hotter than ever.

Why are we even debating this?

If you're gonna rank boy bands,

then NSYNC has to be number one.

Seriously, you're embarrassing
yourself right now.

It's Backstreet Boys.

It's 98 Degrees.

Nick Lachey is a musical genius.

You're a complete idiot, Harriet.

Ms. Lewis? Never thought
I'd be saying this.

Can you please
start teaching us something?

He's right.
This whole argument is insane.

Thank God it's over.

'Cause the all-time greatest boy band

is New Kids on the Block.

They invented the whole formula.

- Formula?
- Allow me to break it down...

Wait, wait, wait, sorry, I take it back

'cause I really don't care.

Zip it, Weasel. This is music class,

it's on topic, so take notes, guys.

Every boy band has four members,

each with a specific personality type.

First, there's "The Dreamboat."

ALL: Justin Timberlake.

Correct. Next, there's "The Bad Boy."

He's got edge and tattoos
and a thumb ring

and a weird facial hair pattern.

ALL: AJ McLean.

Indeed. And of course,
there's "The Shy Guy."

He's sensitive, non-threatening,

and has better highlights
in his hair than you do.

My man Lance Bass!

Or so I've heard.

And finally, every boy band has
that random, awkward older dude

who just feels excited to be there.

Kinda like a CB type.

What... What's that, now?

Oh, hey. Cool tie, see you later.

Later, Alli... alligator.

So, yeah, him.

? One of these days,
you're gonna get outta here ?

? Live your life and finally be free ?

? Go where you wanna go,
do what you wanna do ?

? Someday, you will say
"Those were the days" ?

It was January 15th, 1990-something,

and Glascott was scrambling

to replace a member of the faculty.

Johnny G! How's the search
for the new school nurse going?

Terrible.

Stupid selfish Nurse Steve,
bailing on us

in the middle of the school year.

To join the Peace Corps and help
heal sick children in Burma.

Yes, he's a hero, but we got
kids here with pink eye

because they put their
dookie fingers in their eyes.

You're in luck, because I happen
to know a random lady

who was the pediatric nurse at Jefferson

who got let go because of budget cuts.

That's perfect!

Come on in, random lady!

Ta-da!

[Laughs]

Hi, boss.

Julie. What a pleasant surprise.

Her r�sum� speaks for itself,
but if you need a recommendation

from the luckiest man on the planet,

I would be happy to bend your ear.

This is great.

It's exciting to have you in the mix.

- A Lotta options out there...
- Mm-hmm.

...but I think we all know
she got the job.

[Laughter]

- No, she doesn't.
- Yeah, right.

- Thanks for coming in.
- Should I just go?

- That'd be great.
- [Laughter]

But in all seriousness,
it's a big fat no.

- Wait, what?
- Seriously?

You're more than qualified.

But when couples work together
it never works out.

But this is us. We don't even fight.

You are in the phase
of your relationship

where you find
each other's quirks adorable.

But that all changes when
you start working together.

How?

Because you grow sick of each other

and then those adorable quirks,
they turn into unbearable flaws.

And then? The hatred sets in.

Well, here's the thing.
We don't have any flaws

so it's a non-stop
lovey-dovey phase for us.

Well, that's impossible.

Nobody can stay in that phase forever.

Watch us. [Chuckles, growling]

Oh, no! Oh, no!

Enough with the thumb kissing.

Do you two actually believe
that you are perfect

and will never grow sick of each other?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Then I must say,
with immense reservations...

you have the job, I guess.

- You got the job!
- [Screams] I did it!

Ah, I'm so proud!

Glascott's soft side had caved to Coach.

As for Wilma, everyone knew

she was the school's biggest hard-ass.

Becky and Harriet, I hear you
gossiping back there!

- Sorry, ma'am.
- Yeah, sorry, ma'am.

Now you two separate. But do it quietly.

And it didn't just stop
in the classroom.

She was just as tough
in her student advisory.

Ronnie, we gotta talk
about your joke of a schedule.

If you just pick the easiest classes,

it limits where you can go
after high school.

It's all good. I already know
exactly where I want to go.

Really? Where?

To the top of the charts.

I'm gonna be in a boy band.

Are you for real? Is this for real?
I can't tell.

I know, at first I thought
boy bands were lame, too.

But after some serious soul searching,

I realized my ultimate goal in life

is to be rich and famous
so I can land hot chicks.

Make sense?

No. Your dream is garbage.

- What?
- Get out.

[Knocks] Hey, Wilma.

Can I talk to you for a few-skis?

So, um, listen,
Glascott wanted me to check in

to see how the faculty advising
is going.

- Why?
- Oh, you know,

just because...
there are some complaints,

kids wanting to ditch you as advisor

and come to me, Lainey,
or Johnny Atkins.

He's the janitor!

Who's also nice and encouraging,

as opposed to you,
who's mean and scares children.

Excuse me?!

See, there it is.

So scary.

Look, Wilma,
your tough style works in class,

but one-on-one, you just gotta listen,

understand, and advise.

Which I did.

I listened to his dream.

I understood it was dumb.

And I advised him to get the hell out.

What I mean, though, is the kids,

they don't want you
to advise them anymore

because you can sometimes be a meanie.

They think I'm mean?
Oh, I'll show them mean.

No. They don't want you to be mean.

What they want is for you
to be supportive.

They want supportive?
I'll show them supportive.

That is the request, and yet
you sound very vindictive.

No, I get it. They want supportive.

I'm gonna support the crap out of them.

Okay.

Again, the words are right,

but the delivery is really spiteful.

Guess what, Ronnie?

Wilma's gonna
make your dreams come true.

- Huh?
- You're gonna be in a boy band!

No, you're right. It's a stupid dream.

I'll just work at my dad's
super lucrative accounting firm.

No! You will not go down
a sensible career path!

I'm gonna help you achieve
your stupid dream

whether you like it or not.

- But I-I...
- No buts!

Dreams coming true!

Now go spread the word

that supportive Wilma
is open for business.

Yo, CB!

My new boy band needs
a random, awkward, older dude

who just seems excited to be there.

I beg you not to involve me
in this, Ronnie.

Classic CB, not supporting our dreams.

You can learn a thing or two
from this lady here.

I regret helping you.

And so began the new era
of supportive Wilma.

As for Coach and Julie,

they were starting
their new job together.

And Glascott was wrong.

A few quirks wouldn't change a thing.

Oh, Sorry! I'm a bad parker.

Well, looks like I found
your only quirk.

And whattya know,
I like you more than ever.

Aw, really?

The way you park is perfect.

Just like you.

But then the quirks got weirder.

Ah, cod, my man.

Gimme those Omega-3s!
Imbue me with your fish power!

Is it me, or do you talk
to your food before every bite?

Looks like you found my only quirk.

I can stop if you want me to.

Do not stop, it's perfect.

Just like you.

Then the quirks got annoying.

Everyone says that Geno's and Pat's

makes the best cheesesteak,

but supposably it's this place
Donkey's in Camden.

I discovered that place in the '80s.

- Also, it's "supposedly."
- What's that?

You said "supposably,"

but it's actually "supposedly."

Another one of your little quirks there.

Oh. Sorry.

- [Chuckles]
- Don't be!

The way you mispronounce
a shocking amount of words

is perfect, like you.

- You are perfect.
- Mm.

By the end of the week,

those cute little quirks
were flat-out unbearable.

Come on. It's like
you're doing it on purpose.

You said my one quirk was cute.

Well, that's when I thought you
only had one, not... 87.

Oh! And you're one to talk. Literally.

To your trout before every bite.

It's cod, and you know that.

Oh, God. Are we fighting over fish?

No, of course not. We don't fight.

But we are.

Maybe Glascott was right.

Come on, it's us!

We're perfect, and we will never
grow sick of each other.

?

Ah, my lean bison.

You're just packed with iron and zinc

and the strength of Tatonka.

Come, let us be one.

Turns out working together
is bad for happy lovebirds.

As for Wilma, she was tired of
always being the mean teacher.

Hey-oh!

Guess who just got discovered in a mall.

You did. [Chuckles]

Hi, I'm John Calabasas,
and today is your lucky break.

Not for you, 'cause I got pepper spray.

And I've grown immune.

But no worries.

There's plenty of other
fresh faces in this mall

that would love
to be in a... music video.

Ah yes, it was
the classic '90s video kiosk.

Back then, every mall,
Bar Mitzvah, and cheesy wedding

had one, and it was epic.

Look at the sign.

We're certified by
Kapital Records in Hollywood...

Florida, no relation
to the Capitol Records

in Hollywood, Los Angeles.

And it's only 99 bucks!

99 bucks? Isn't that kinda high?

For state-of-the-art
green-screen technology

and video-wipe effects

as used by George Lucas in "Star Wars"?

Boom!

Look, you're in outer space.

Star wipe, boom!

Now you're in a lava lamp.

Up-n-down wipe, boom.

Now there's six of you,
and you're walking on water.

Can you make any kind of video,

like one for a dummy
who wants to be in a boy band?

Of course. The music video
is the perfect calling card.

In fact, one of the biggest
boy bands of our generation

got their start in this very mall.

Ever heard of
the Backstreet Boys, AKA BSB?

Wow, yes!

Well, then, you for sure
maybe heard of CPK.

California Pizza Kitchen?

Cool Posse Kids.

From Doylestown.

Drr!

So whattya say? We got a deal?

I'm on a mission to prove
that I'm not scary and mean.

- So deal!
- All right.

I'm gonna make a boy band!

Julie's new job had put
a strain on things with Coach,

but neither wanted to admit
Glascott was right.

Hey, there's William Penn's
own Florence Nightingale.

Thanks a lot for the flu shot, Julie.

Oh, thank you for giving me this job.

Well, I gotta admit, I was wrong
about you working with Rick.

Seems like it's going great, huh?

Couldn't be better. Mmm!

So lean, so protein-y.

Can you please
just eat the bison already?

No one here wants to hear
your pre-ample.

[Chuckles]

And yet everyone here wants to tell you

that the word is actually preamble.

Please, tell her.

- Pass.
- I'd rather not.

- I feel uncomfortable.
- What's happening right now?

Nothing. We're perfect.

We haven't even had our first fight.

Not even when Rick refused his flu shot

'cause he's being a baby. [Chuckles]

Not fighting, just a fact.

And I told you in a non-fighting way

that I don't need a flu shot

because my bones produce
super-antibodies

- which defeat all forms of illness.
- Hmm.

And I'm not fighting when I say this,

but we all know
that when Rick is scared,

he says crazy things that go
against science and reason.

I think I speak for everyone
when I say uh-oh.

Not fighting, but maybe
you could tell the lady

to stop busting my balls,
since it's bad enough

her mother, Carol, does it, right?!

- Tell her!
- Not fighting,

but tell him that everyone
in school hates his shorts!

ALL: Whoa!

No one's fighting, even though
I hate her ex-boyfriend Josh.

And I told you we're just friends.

Well, find another friend
to play tennis with!

It's not okay!

Tell her, it's just not okay!

No one answer. Everyone just go.

I'm sorry.

We'll work on it

so we don't put the faculty
in the middle.

Agreed. Both to this and to
the fact that Josh sucks.

My office, now.

- WILMA: Boom!
- ALL: Gah!

No need to be scared, I come in peace.

Ronnie, your faculty advisor
has found a way

for your boy band to make a music video.

Dude! You wanna be in a boy band?

No. I don't even know
what she's talking about.

I'm talking about your dream!

Even if I super wanted to be
in a mega awesome boy band,

which I don't, 'cause they suck,

I don't even have any other members.

You are so lame, dude.

But also I want to be
a part of your musical dream

more than anything.

I am looking for someone who can
be the shy, sensitive one.

Who, me?

Shy enough?

Looks like you found your first member.

Now you're in his boy band?

My God, you guys are such losers!

Which is something the bad boy
of the group would say.

- You're in.
- Awesome.

You're the best faculty advisor
ever, Mrs. H.

I don't know why everyone says
you're mean and terrifying.

I accept your implied apology.

Come on, let's go write a hit song

and buy matching oversize overalls.

See? It's all coming together.

?

CALABASAS: And cut!

Guys, that's the one.

Unless you want to pay $99 to go again,

then that would be the one.

No, we crushed it!

Wilma! Wilma, I'm here!

Got your 911 page.

What's the emergency? Everything okay?

Get suited up.

Their music video needs
an awkward, random, old guy.

No! I'm not in your boy band.

We all know you're in the boy band.

This is my fault.

I shouldn't have told you
what the kids think about you.

Oh, like I didn't know.

No matter where I teach,
I'm always mean Mrs. H.

I thought you didn't care.

Of course I care!

It's hurtful and makes me sad

but also angry, like I'll show them all.

- And this is the way?
- Yes.

Maybe when everyone goes crazy

over this fun, little
music video I made happen,

those kids will realize

that I'm not the scary
dream crusher they think I am.

In a weird way... that makes sense.

So you'll join the boy band?

No.

God, you gotta stop, Wilma.

I'll work on him.

GLASCOTT: Well, well, well.

If only someone here would've predicted

that working together would
implode your relationship.

I know. None of us saw it coming.

What?! I did!

I literally mapped out
exactly what would happen!

We gave it a shot.

Clearly, it's best if I just resign.

So you can hold it over my head
for the rest of your life?

No way!

I resign.

You're gonna resign
just to prove a point?

- Uh-huh.
- Okay.

Then I un-resign
and I'm staying indefinitely.

Nobody resigns until I say they resign!

Fine, then I quit.

You can't quit.

You're a pillar at this school

and more important than a nurse
that's been here for a week.

Does that mean I've been fired?

Don't you dare fire her.
I won't allow it.

Again, it's not your call.

John, if you really are
my friend, damn it,

you'll fire me right now!

Will you just fire him
so we can be done with this?

Oh, wait, you want me to be fired?

John, I want my job back

so I can stay here forever with her!

End of discussion!

- Fine!
- Fine!

Okay, who's quitting and who's staying?

I lost track.

While Julie and Mellor left
on a sour note,

Wilma was ready to show everyone

her sweet, supportive side.

Before we finish today's lab,
I have a question.

Show of hands, how many of you think

that I am mean and/or scary?

Shows what you guys know.
Mrs. H is the dreammaker.

Yeah, and she's the one
who strong-armed us

into forming Street II Men.

What the crap is Street II Men?

Watch and learn, students.

['90s pop music plays]

? Street II Men is dancing
on your street tonight ?

? Whoa, oh, oh ?

? Men II Street is singing
in your dreams tonight ?

? Whoa, oh, oh ?

? Men II Street, on your feet ?

? Feel the heat tonight ?

? I'm a dreamboat ?

? I'm the hottest guy here ?

? And I'm the only one
who's gonna have a solo career ?

? I'm the shy guy ?

? I kinda hang in the back ?

? I have crippling anxiety
and panic attacks ?

? Well, I'm the bad boy ?

? Who looks like
he might carry a knife ?

? And I'll be in 'n' out of rehab ?

? For the rest of my life ?

? And there's this random old dude ?

? Who looks out of place ?

? And he always says... ?

I'm not in the band!
Get that camera out of my face!

? Street II Men is dancing
on your street tonight ?

? Whoa, oh, oh ?

? Men II Street is singing
in your dreams tonight ?

? Whoa, oh, oh ?

? Men II Street, on your feet ?

? Feel the heat tonight ?

WILMA: That's right, mean ol' Mrs. H

is fully responsible for this video.

[Laughter]

Hey, why are you all laughing?

It's like they took the worst
parts of every boy band song

and mashed them together.

Why were you wearing ski pants
on a spaceship?

'Cause our love's icy hot
and outta this world.

How's that not clear?

Okay, but why were you all
hanging around in T-shirts

on one bed?

Why were we on that bed?

[Laughter]

Oh, my God, this song is awful
and my dreams are shallow.

- [School bell rings]
- Your faculty advisor/dreammaker will fix this!

Don't.

You've done enough already.

WILMA: I guess you were right.

My big, angry attempt
to show them nice Wilma

only made it worse.

Look, I know you're hurt
by how the kids see you...

To be clear...

I'm very hurt.

But I'll always be me, so it's best

if I just get used to it.

?

In just one week, Julie's stint
as school nurse was done.

Well, I guess that's it.

Thanks again for giving me
this opportunity.

- Not so fast.
- Oh, God, he's back to fight more.

I'm here to fix this.

You see, I realized there is
a way to make this work.

I'm gonna get rid of all my quirks.

Julie wants me to wear pants...

then I'll wear pants.

For love.

I don't know what's happening,

but I'm certain that's not a thing.

[Grunting]

This is unsettling.

I'm just new to the process.

Well, you're doing it wrong, man!
Do it right!

- If I stand my...
- What is this?

Just bend your knees
like a normal human person.

- My legs will adjust.
- It's hard to watch.

Just walk normal, please!

Stop yelling at me, I'm doing my best!

I didn't ask you to change!
Not like this!

See? Mellor wears shorts,
Wilma is scary.

We are who we are!

It doesn't mean you can give up.

There's a way to be Wilma

- and support these kids in your own way.
- MELLOR: Ah, man.

Ah, somebody please help me!

Maybe you're right,
maybe all that matters

is I'm there for the kids...

even if they find it mean and scary.

Well, just do one leg at a time!

You're jamming it up down there!

Rick, if you take a seat,
you can do the left foot...

[Indistinct shouting]

All right, Street II Men.

Enough pouting, time to fix this.

Fix it? You made us a laughing
stock to the whole school!

I did do that, yes.

I was just trying to be supportive.

Sure, maybe it seems
it's tough and scary,

but that's just me.

And unlike all your other teachers,

when you got Wilma on your side,

you got the cold, hard truth
and red-hot results.

Only result was school-wide mockery.

So your first music video
was a disaster.

Still showed that you guys got
killer moves and voices.

So get off your asses and go
show everyone what you got.

Street II Men has broken up.

For now. But as we all know,

every great boy band stages
an epic comeback reunion tour.

Says who?

Says the awkward, old guy in the group.

You're not even in the band.

We all know I'm in the band.

Forget it, dude.

That song got us
laughed out of the room.

Then I say our boy band does
a song that no one can resist.

["As Long As You Love Me"
instrumental plays]

?

? Although loneliness has always
been a friend of mine ?

Dude, stop!

? I'm leavin' my life in your hands ?

You're making it worse for us.

? People say I'm crazy
and that I am blind ?

Please don't.

? Risking it all in a glance ?

Really should help him out.

? And how you got me blind
is still a mystery ?

? I can't get you out of my head ?

? Don't care what is written
in your history ?

? As long as you're here with me ?

BACKSTREET BOYS:
? I don't care who you are ?

? Where you're from ?

? What you did ?

? As long as you love me ?

? Who you are ?

? Where you're from ?

? What you did ?

? As long as you love me ?

And so CB and Wilma

inspired a comeback tour for the ages.

Even though we all debated

who was the greatest boy band
of the '90s,

that day, everyone agreed
for one fleeting moment

it was Street II Men.

Julie, wait.

["As Long as You Love Me"
continues playing faintly]

Don't quit this job.

This school could use a nurse like you.

What about us?

We went from not having one fight

to having every one possible.

Exactly!

Does it bother me that you can't park

or that you obsess over the dishwasher

or that you hate ketchup
but love tomatoes?

Yes, it's insane.

The point is,
if those are your worst flaws,

then I'll take them.

I'll take all of it

because your quirks are
what make you my Julie,

and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Then I'll keep being my quirky self.

[Chuckles]

And you keep wearing shorts.

- ? I don't care who you are ?
- ? Who you are ?

? Where you're from ?

No one's perfect.

We all have crazy quirks
and impossible dreams,

and we're often seen in ways
that we wish weren't true.

But the thing is, it's a whole
lot easier to accept yourself

when you're surrounded
by people who believe in you.

Hey, Mrs. H.

Could really use some help
from my faculty advisor.

You know, trying to figure out
where to go after high school.

I thought it was top of the charts.

Well, actually,
after your scary pep talk,

I was thinking maybe less boy band

and more music college.

Now we're talking.

? As long as you love me ?

Truth is, at the end of the day,

all of your flaws
are what make you perfect.

? As long as you love me ?

?

? Although loneliness has always
been a friend of mine ?

Ugh, change the station.

- [Static]
- ? People say... ?

Oh, damn it, it's everywhere.

It's fine, just leave it.

No, I can't do it, I'm out.

? Risking it all in a glance ?

?

? How you got me blind
is still a mystery ?

? I can't get you out of my head ?

Stupid song.

? Don't care what is written
in your history ?

? As long as you're here with me ?

? I don't care who you are ?

BOTH: ? Whe... ?

- Forgot my kettlebell.
- ? As long as you love me ?

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