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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:03,953 CHOIR: ? Ah ? 2 00:00:03,978 --> 00:00:08,681 ? Men ? 3 00:00:08,706 --> 00:00:09,859 Wow. 4 00:00:09,914 --> 00:00:11,269 Here it comes. 5 00:00:11,294 --> 00:00:14,046 "Wow, glad my wife is dead so she didn't have to hear that." 6 00:00:14,071 --> 00:00:15,102 Actually, I was about to say, 7 00:00:15,126 --> 00:00:18,009 "Wow, you have never sounded better." 8 00:00:18,034 --> 00:00:21,054 Which is still a low bar. I'm sorry, I can't help myself. 9 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:22,992 So do you think we're ready for regionals? 10 00:00:23,017 --> 00:00:24,949 Absolutely, I think we have a shot at winning. 11 00:00:24,974 --> 00:00:26,156 - [CHEERING] - There we go. 12 00:00:26,181 --> 00:00:28,179 Speaking of regionals, I have good news: 13 00:00:28,204 --> 00:00:30,872 I spoke to the pastor at our sister church in Lexington, 14 00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:33,364 and she said we could sleep on their sanctuary floor. 15 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,170 - Are you serious? - I know, right?! 16 00:00:35,195 --> 00:00:37,351 It'll be like camping in God's tent. 17 00:00:37,376 --> 00:00:39,476 No, sleeping in a drafty church 18 00:00:39,501 --> 00:00:40,833 the night before a performance 19 00:00:40,858 --> 00:00:42,718 would be terrible for your voices. 20 00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:45,734 We can think of the draft as God blowing us a kiss. 21 00:00:45,759 --> 00:00:47,257 I'm not sleeping on the floor. 22 00:00:47,282 --> 00:00:48,351 What am I? A dog? 23 00:00:48,376 --> 00:00:50,365 - Or a Wayne? - None taken. 24 00:00:50,390 --> 00:00:52,203 We don't have enough money for a hotel. 25 00:00:52,228 --> 00:00:53,629 Normally, I would offer to pay, 26 00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:55,242 but I'm "Leveraged to the Max." 27 00:00:55,267 --> 00:00:56,734 Which, by the way, is the name 28 00:00:56,759 --> 00:00:59,585 of the expensive racehorse I invested all my money in. 29 00:00:59,610 --> 00:01:01,007 What if we raised the money? 30 00:01:01,032 --> 00:01:03,570 I mean, we raise the roof all the time. 31 00:01:03,595 --> 00:01:05,343 What-what? [LAUGHS] 32 00:01:06,335 --> 00:01:08,304 Or we could just have a bake sale. 33 00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:11,179 - Or a car wash. - Or we make up a guy, 34 00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,593 take out a credit card in his name, max it out, 35 00:01:13,618 --> 00:01:15,117 then write his obituary. 36 00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:19,195 I'm thinking about calling him "Zachary P. Whisperbone." 37 00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:22,070 No, we're musicians. It needs to be music-related. 38 00:01:22,095 --> 00:01:24,693 [GASPS] You said "we." 39 00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,796 [LAUGHS] You feel like you belong. 40 00:01:26,821 --> 00:01:28,831 We are an "us." 41 00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:31,890 Calm down, it's just a pronoun. It's not a promise ring. 42 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:34,850 Anyway I was reading this church choir blog 43 00:01:34,890 --> 00:01:37,107 about raising money through a Hymn-A-Thon. 44 00:01:37,132 --> 00:01:39,508 People pledge money for us to sing. 45 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,199 [GASPS] 46 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:42,624 - "Us." - Walk away. 47 00:01:42,649 --> 00:01:44,149 "Church choir blog." 48 00:01:44,174 --> 00:01:46,709 Yeah, they have some really good ideas about choirs, 49 00:01:46,734 --> 00:01:48,546 and terrible ideas about everything else. 50 00:01:48,571 --> 00:01:51,584 Dibs on anything Beyonce, Madonna, Lizzo. 51 00:01:51,609 --> 00:01:55,226 It's Rizzo, and no, we're not doing anything from "Grease." 52 00:01:55,251 --> 00:01:56,551 Traditional choir music only. 53 00:01:56,576 --> 00:01:58,442 A Hymn-A-Thon! I love it! 54 00:01:58,467 --> 00:02:00,388 All in favor sing "I!" 55 00:02:00,749 --> 00:02:03,221 - ? I ? - ? I ? 56 00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:05,090 CHOIR: ? I ? 57 00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:07,890 ? I! ? 58 00:02:08,548 --> 00:02:10,943 I just wanted to show off my range. 59 00:02:10,968 --> 00:02:13,443 I think a Hymn-A-Thon is dumb as hell. 60 00:02:13,468 --> 00:02:14,800 ?? 61 00:02:15,050 --> 00:02:17,585 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 62 00:02:23,359 --> 00:02:27,224 I'm so sorry to hear about Buster's passing. 63 00:02:27,249 --> 00:02:30,545 21 is too young for a cat to die. 64 00:02:30,570 --> 00:02:34,352 Our choir would love to sing a hymn in his honor 65 00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:38,201 for the low, low cost of $5. 66 00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:41,171 For $10, we can make it really special. 67 00:02:41,196 --> 00:02:43,439 - [SIGHS] - Can I help you? 68 00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,096 A friend of mine lives nearby, 69 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:47,273 and I seem to have gotten a little bit lost. 70 00:02:47,298 --> 00:02:50,570 Yeah, you don't look like you live this far from I-75. 71 00:02:50,595 --> 00:02:52,023 What gave me away? The hat, 72 00:02:52,048 --> 00:02:54,615 the keen sense of intelligence that permeates every sentence, 73 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:56,562 or the full set of teeth? 74 00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:59,812 Is that by chance your friend? 75 00:02:59,837 --> 00:03:02,249 The one man not in overalls? Yes. 76 00:03:02,274 --> 00:03:03,274 Arthur! 77 00:03:03,716 --> 00:03:06,028 Tate! What are you doing here? 78 00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:08,039 [LAUGHS] Music conference in Nashville. 79 00:03:08,064 --> 00:03:10,820 - Wow. - I skipped out early just to see you. 80 00:03:10,845 --> 00:03:12,935 Plus, it was all downhill after the keynote speaker. 81 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,039 - Were you the speaker? - I was. 82 00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:16,890 My keynote was C-sharp. 83 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,434 It killed at the conference. 84 00:03:18,468 --> 00:03:20,465 [LAUGHS] Ginny, this is Tate Tippet, 85 00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:23,735 who is also an idiosyncratic Princeton music professor 86 00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:24,968 who judges people harshly. 87 00:03:24,993 --> 00:03:28,050 Oh, cool, I'm so excited for there to be two of you. 88 00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:30,171 I wanna catch up, but if you'll excuse me, 89 00:03:30,196 --> 00:03:32,387 I left my car unlocked, and everyone in here 90 00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:35,146 looks like they could teach a master class in hot-wiring. 91 00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:37,626 [LAUGHS] Better safe than sorry. 92 00:03:37,882 --> 00:03:40,570 Aw, you have a friend. Isn't that nice? 93 00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,851 He is the only person on the whole campus 94 00:03:42,876 --> 00:03:45,734 who had my back when I was unfairly dismissed. 95 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,453 Are we still calling that unfair? 96 00:03:47,478 --> 00:03:48,570 I mean, didn't you, like, 97 00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:50,405 throw a piece of furniture at a child? 98 00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:53,899 I gently tossed a chair that landed near a student. 99 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,500 It was student adjacent. 100 00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:58,737 I don't mind if you talk back, but please use your diaphragm. 101 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,545 Also, don't talk back. 102 00:04:00,570 --> 00:04:02,584 [COUNTRY MUSIC] 103 00:04:02,984 --> 00:04:05,929 I like this town for you. Might even be a little jealous 104 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,656 that you got away from the rat race. 105 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,820 Hey, Conly Fork has a rat race. 106 00:04:09,845 --> 00:04:11,493 Thursdays by the big fork, 107 00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:15,140 although a small possum owned by a powerful family 108 00:04:15,165 --> 00:04:16,165 wins every time. 109 00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:18,008 Wherever you go, you can't get away from politics. 110 00:04:18,032 --> 00:04:20,536 There is the hardened cynic I fell in love with. 111 00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:22,773 Ooh. Oh shoot. 112 00:04:22,798 --> 00:04:24,460 I have to head over to the church 113 00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,277 for an all-night sing-a-long. 114 00:04:26,302 --> 00:04:27,921 [LAUGHS] 115 00:04:28,624 --> 00:04:31,154 - Aw, you're serious. - Mmhmm. 116 00:04:31,179 --> 00:04:32,490 Well, that's too bad. 117 00:04:32,515 --> 00:04:34,937 I was hoping you'd come out and celebrate with me. 118 00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:38,076 You're looking at the new chair of the music department. 119 00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:39,710 What? 120 00:04:39,735 --> 00:04:42,092 [LAUGHS] Congratulations! 121 00:04:42,117 --> 00:04:44,897 Finally a visionary at the helm! 122 00:04:44,922 --> 00:04:45,922 Thanks, man. 123 00:04:45,947 --> 00:04:49,529 That means a lot coming from the best professor 124 00:04:49,554 --> 00:04:52,124 to ever steal my lunch from the faculty fridge. 125 00:04:52,149 --> 00:04:54,102 Hey, that baba ghanoush was for everyone. 126 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,414 We need to celebrate. 127 00:04:55,439 --> 00:04:57,094 - We should be drinking. - We are drinking. 128 00:04:57,118 --> 00:04:59,093 What if I were to tell you I know of a place 129 00:04:59,118 --> 00:05:01,719 that has bourbon and clean glasses? 130 00:05:01,744 --> 00:05:04,046 - What if I were to say, "hell yes." - Hell yeah. 131 00:05:04,382 --> 00:05:08,662 I got us a great rate at a hotel in Lexington! 132 00:05:08,687 --> 00:05:10,108 And then I got us a good rate 133 00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,398 at a hotel in Lexington, Kentucky! 134 00:05:12,423 --> 00:05:14,122 [SQUEALS] So, all we gotta do 135 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,315 is raise 1,000 bucks, and we will be all set. 136 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,117 Ooo, this'll help us keep track. 137 00:05:19,996 --> 00:05:20,996 Fancy. 138 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,664 I think it's cute you think you know what fancy is. 139 00:05:23,689 --> 00:05:25,484 I just hooked us up to our social media page 140 00:05:25,509 --> 00:05:26,953 so people can watch us sing. 141 00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:28,070 Oh, no! 142 00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:30,789 My gram gram follows us, and she's a huge troll. 143 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,841 Hey, uh, change of plans. 144 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:34,766 Uh, I can help you guys get ready, 145 00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:37,535 but I gotta take my buddy out to celebrate his promotion. 146 00:05:37,537 --> 00:05:41,162 Not to oversell, but everything in my life depends on this. 147 00:05:41,187 --> 00:05:42,979 - Shoulders back. - You're bailing on the Hymn-A-Thon? 148 00:05:43,003 --> 00:05:45,954 Tate has always been my biggest booster... 149 00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:48,267 Lose the gum... They promoted him to chair... 150 00:05:48,292 --> 00:05:50,617 - So you wanna throw him? - Of the department. 151 00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:51,955 Shut up. So I'm gonna to take him out. 152 00:05:51,979 --> 00:05:54,030 I'm gonna show him a good time, I'm gonna get my job back, 153 00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:56,408 and finally I can pull myself out of the muck. 154 00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:58,556 Are we the muck? 155 00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:01,361 No, you're the... the gross... 156 00:06:01,386 --> 00:06:02,771 creatures who befriended me 157 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:06,226 when I was in the muck, and I will never forget you. 158 00:06:06,251 --> 00:06:08,010 Hit middle C. You know where middle C is? 159 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,235 Yeah? That's it, that's your anchor. 160 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,267 Stay close to that. You guys are gonna be great. 161 00:06:12,292 --> 00:06:14,861 - Appreciate it. - Yeah, I got a note. 162 00:06:14,886 --> 00:06:17,786 - ? You suck ? - ? You suck ? 163 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:21,337 CHOIR: ? You suck ? 164 00:06:22,709 --> 00:06:24,844 I can't believe Arthur abandoned us. 165 00:06:24,869 --> 00:06:26,096 Although, to be fair, it falls in line 166 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,711 with every other terrible aspect of his personality. 167 00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:31,914 Never trust a man with that many decorative scarves. 168 00:06:31,939 --> 00:06:33,672 Who's he think he is? Johnny Depp? 169 00:06:33,674 --> 00:06:35,922 He can't out-scarf Depp. No one can. 170 00:06:35,947 --> 00:06:38,944 You can try, but Depp will just put on another scarf, 171 00:06:38,946 --> 00:06:40,880 and where does that leave you? I'll tell you. 172 00:06:40,905 --> 00:06:42,847 One scarf behind Depp. 173 00:06:42,849 --> 00:06:44,622 Okay, enough. Ya'll! 174 00:06:44,647 --> 00:06:46,518 - We can do this! - Aw. 175 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,358 Remember when Arthur said "we"? 176 00:06:48,383 --> 00:06:49,515 I will lead us. 177 00:06:49,540 --> 00:06:51,199 We got along fine before Arthur. 178 00:06:51,224 --> 00:06:54,020 We can do it again. So now, let's get out there, 179 00:06:54,045 --> 00:06:56,184 and let's sing like nobody's watching! 180 00:06:56,209 --> 00:06:57,756 - CHOIR: Yeah! - But hopefully they will be! 181 00:06:57,780 --> 00:06:59,856 - CHOIR: Yeah! - Can I get a what-what? 182 00:06:59,881 --> 00:07:00,966 - What? - What? 183 00:07:01,850 --> 00:07:03,735 That's the spirit! [LAUGHS] 184 00:07:03,737 --> 00:07:06,888 - Bibs, the usual. - You have a usual? 185 00:07:06,913 --> 00:07:08,591 Amazing. Make it two. 186 00:07:08,616 --> 00:07:11,991 Okay, so four Winter Creek Bourbons, neat. Comin' up. 187 00:07:12,016 --> 00:07:13,920 Bibs, you're looking at the best instrumentalist 188 00:07:13,945 --> 00:07:15,378 in all of North America. 189 00:07:15,403 --> 00:07:17,567 - Jazz Piano... - Industrial bassoon... 190 00:07:17,592 --> 00:07:19,006 Ska sitar. 191 00:07:19,031 --> 00:07:21,349 So what's it gonna take to get this guy in the lineup tonight? 192 00:07:21,373 --> 00:07:23,888 Aw, I don't know. It's cover band night. 193 00:07:23,890 --> 00:07:25,506 I don't wanna bump Shammy Hagar. 194 00:07:25,531 --> 00:07:26,902 Bibs, you gotta help me out here. 195 00:07:26,927 --> 00:07:28,460 I need to butter this guy up. 196 00:07:28,462 --> 00:07:30,247 He may have a job for me at Princeton, 197 00:07:30,272 --> 00:07:32,330 which means you will never have to listen to someone say, 198 00:07:32,332 --> 00:07:34,595 "could you please switch the TV to the opera channel," 199 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:35,873 ever again. 200 00:07:37,155 --> 00:07:40,392 Hey, Mr. Sitar! You're up next. 201 00:07:40,608 --> 00:07:42,084 - Hello world! - Hi. 202 00:07:42,109 --> 00:07:44,583 We are the Second First Church Choir, 203 00:07:44,608 --> 00:07:47,731 and we welcome you to our all night Hymn-A-Thon. 204 00:07:47,756 --> 00:07:49,739 - Hi. - Ooh, look! 205 00:07:49,764 --> 00:07:51,653 A little heart is floating! 206 00:07:51,678 --> 00:07:54,270 Social media love is addictive. [GASPS] 207 00:07:54,295 --> 00:07:56,809 But not as addictive as God's love. 208 00:07:56,834 --> 00:07:58,731 [POPPING] 209 00:07:58,756 --> 00:08:03,824 Our first hymn is dedicated to Mrs. Elliot's cat, Buster, 210 00:08:03,849 --> 00:08:06,404 who died doing what he loved: 211 00:08:06,803 --> 00:08:08,668 having diabetes. 212 00:08:08,693 --> 00:08:12,925 CHOIR: ? All things bright and beautiful ? 213 00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:18,238 ? All creatures great and small ? 214 00:08:18,263 --> 00:08:22,441 ? All things wise and wonderful ? 215 00:08:22,466 --> 00:08:26,122 ? The lord God made them all ? 216 00:08:26,147 --> 00:08:29,464 [HEAVY METAL RIFF] 217 00:08:29,489 --> 00:08:32,023 ?? 218 00:08:32,025 --> 00:08:34,325 - Woo! - [LAUGHS] 219 00:08:34,327 --> 00:08:37,162 ?? 220 00:08:37,164 --> 00:08:38,830 I was pissed when I got bumped, 221 00:08:38,832 --> 00:08:41,566 but I'll be honest, this guy's good! 222 00:08:41,591 --> 00:08:43,501 Hey, I'm trying to give my buddy a good night. 223 00:08:43,503 --> 00:08:46,238 If you ask for an encore, I'll buy your next beer. 224 00:08:46,263 --> 00:08:50,909 ?? 225 00:08:50,911 --> 00:08:54,300 What are we, like, the lamest frat house on campus? 226 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:55,519 These pledges suck. 227 00:08:55,544 --> 00:08:58,349 Come on, Conley Fork! Send us to regionals. 228 00:08:58,351 --> 00:08:59,751 Come on! Please, please! 229 00:08:59,753 --> 00:09:01,294 [DING] 230 00:09:02,294 --> 00:09:05,379 "I will donate $5 if everyone stops speaking, 231 00:09:05,404 --> 00:09:08,013 and the big guy with the voice says my name." 232 00:09:08,740 --> 00:09:10,785 [DINGS] "Not him." 233 00:09:10,810 --> 00:09:12,731 Oh, rude. 234 00:09:16,091 --> 00:09:17,457 Joanne. 235 00:09:17,482 --> 00:09:19,215 [GASPS] Keep going. 236 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,254 - Come on. - It's working. 237 00:09:21,279 --> 00:09:22,754 - _ - [DINGS] 238 00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:24,042 Joanne. 239 00:09:24,044 --> 00:09:25,279 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 240 00:09:25,304 --> 00:09:27,689 All right! They loved you. 241 00:09:27,714 --> 00:09:29,310 I haven't seen them that worked up 242 00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:31,652 since the "Suzanne Duran" reunion. 243 00:09:31,677 --> 00:09:33,384 Fun crowd. You should get up there. 244 00:09:33,386 --> 00:09:36,130 If I killed it, you could at least wound it. 245 00:09:36,155 --> 00:09:38,033 Tate, let's cut to the chase. 246 00:09:38,318 --> 00:09:40,146 I know you came here with an agenda. 247 00:09:40,171 --> 00:09:41,203 You do? 248 00:09:41,228 --> 00:09:43,361 Yeah, nobody comes to Kentucky voluntarily. 249 00:09:43,363 --> 00:09:44,729 Not even LSU. 250 00:09:44,731 --> 00:09:46,097 All right. [SIGHS] 251 00:09:46,099 --> 00:09:49,267 Tate, yes, of course, I'd love to. 252 00:09:49,269 --> 00:09:51,636 I forgive them. Show me where to sign. 253 00:09:51,638 --> 00:09:53,404 I don't care about the salary. 254 00:09:53,406 --> 00:09:57,699 Oh, oh, oh, um... you... 255 00:09:57,724 --> 00:09:59,465 You think I'm here to offer you a job? 256 00:09:59,490 --> 00:10:04,715 I did... until... just now. 257 00:10:04,740 --> 00:10:06,926 I don't know how to put this delicately... 258 00:10:06,951 --> 00:10:08,293 [TENSE MUSIC] 259 00:10:08,318 --> 00:10:09,821 So I won't. Your career is dead, 260 00:10:09,823 --> 00:10:11,886 and you're never gonna teach again at Princeton. 261 00:10:11,911 --> 00:10:13,825 - Encore! - Ugh. 262 00:10:13,827 --> 00:10:15,591 I know this is not great timing. 263 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:19,775 ?? 264 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,244 Shammy Hagar, do me a favor. 265 00:10:22,482 --> 00:10:24,936 Plunge that pint glass into my skull. 266 00:10:28,026 --> 00:10:29,535 Gotta give the people what they want. 267 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:30,701 Encore! 268 00:10:30,726 --> 00:10:32,887 I'm not buying you any more beer. 269 00:10:32,912 --> 00:10:34,083 Withdrawn. 270 00:10:34,108 --> 00:10:35,161 So you came all this way 271 00:10:35,186 --> 00:10:37,997 just to rub my face in my non-existent future? 272 00:10:38,022 --> 00:10:40,495 No, I came all this way 273 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,201 to get you to sign a letter of apology, 274 00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:46,576 indemnifying the school from any legal action. 275 00:10:46,601 --> 00:10:48,247 Apology? For what? 276 00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:50,572 You always said students were a bunch of snowflakes 277 00:10:50,597 --> 00:10:52,073 who needed to toughen up. 278 00:10:52,098 --> 00:10:53,896 They do, but... [SIGHS] 279 00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,844 times have changed. 280 00:10:55,869 --> 00:10:58,703 We just gave a professor paid leave while we investigate 281 00:10:58,728 --> 00:11:01,669 her use of the term "flame retardant." 282 00:11:01,694 --> 00:11:03,247 I thought you had my back. 283 00:11:03,272 --> 00:11:06,543 Actually, yeah, I did, but I'm an administrator now. 284 00:11:06,568 --> 00:11:07,945 I gotta make an example of you. 285 00:11:07,947 --> 00:11:10,107 I can't believe Tate Tippet sold me out for a paycheck. 286 00:11:10,132 --> 00:11:12,099 In my defense, 287 00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:14,585 it's a really big paycheck. 288 00:11:14,587 --> 00:11:16,053 [COUNTRY MUSIC] 289 00:11:16,055 --> 00:11:17,615 You seriously won't sign? 290 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,274 I may be screwed, but so are you. 291 00:11:21,099 --> 00:11:23,961 Hey, man, you see that guy at the bar 292 00:11:23,963 --> 00:11:26,731 who spent $300 on that stupid fedora? 293 00:11:26,733 --> 00:11:29,521 He just told me he thinks he could take you, easy. 294 00:11:30,158 --> 00:11:32,466 Nobody takes Sqwatchy easy. 295 00:11:33,509 --> 00:11:35,016 Yeah, you don't need that. 296 00:11:35,041 --> 00:11:36,990 ?? 297 00:11:37,015 --> 00:11:40,099 ? Oh, hallelujah ? 298 00:11:40,124 --> 00:11:44,593 ? Great is thy faithfulness ? 299 00:11:44,618 --> 00:11:48,746 ? Oh, God, my father ? 300 00:11:48,771 --> 00:11:52,066 - [SIGHS] - ? Thou changest not ? 301 00:11:52,091 --> 00:11:53,724 ? Thy compassions... ? 302 00:11:53,726 --> 00:11:54,919 [LINE RINGING] 303 00:11:54,944 --> 00:11:55,958 [PHONE RINGS] 304 00:11:56,185 --> 00:11:57,185 This is Brian. 305 00:11:57,210 --> 00:11:59,904 Hi, yes, I'm calling from the Second First Church. 306 00:11:59,929 --> 00:12:01,963 - Hi, Jenny. - Oh, you remembered! 307 00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:03,411 Well, you call more than Kevin, 308 00:12:03,436 --> 00:12:04,902 and he's obsessed with me. 309 00:12:04,904 --> 00:12:07,701 Aw, he sounds nice. Uh, quick question. 310 00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:09,751 If we were to extend our stay to four nights, 311 00:12:09,776 --> 00:12:11,943 what rate would you be able to give us? 312 00:12:11,945 --> 00:12:15,012 I could knock another $10 off the nightly rate. 313 00:12:15,014 --> 00:12:17,841 Okay, good, do that... now cancel those two extra nights. 314 00:12:17,866 --> 00:12:19,194 I'm so glad we could lock this rate in. 315 00:12:19,218 --> 00:12:20,982 Say hi to Kevin for me! 316 00:12:21,397 --> 00:12:24,999 CHOIR: ? All unto... ? 317 00:12:25,376 --> 00:12:28,710 ? Me ? 318 00:12:28,735 --> 00:12:32,935 - CHOIR: ? Ooh ? - [POPPING] 319 00:12:33,714 --> 00:12:35,730 Guys, great news. 320 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,768 I got the hotel to lower their rate again. 321 00:12:37,770 --> 00:12:39,537 - Hell yeah. - How's it going out here? 322 00:12:39,539 --> 00:12:40,638 Be doing a lot better 323 00:12:40,663 --> 00:12:43,151 if we maxed out Zach Whisperbone's Amex. 324 00:12:43,176 --> 00:12:44,279 [PHONE DINGS] 325 00:12:44,304 --> 00:12:45,304 Oh, hey. 326 00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:47,855 Kimberly said she'd give us $20 right now 327 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:52,516 if, "the big guy says her name in a disapproving tone." 328 00:12:52,780 --> 00:12:55,507 When are you gonna learn it's never you? 329 00:12:55,758 --> 00:12:58,483 This is starting to weird me out. 330 00:12:58,508 --> 00:12:59,929 I don't wanna kink shame, 331 00:12:59,954 --> 00:13:01,741 but these women are not making it easy. 332 00:13:01,766 --> 00:13:03,139 Well, tough noogies. 333 00:13:03,164 --> 00:13:06,304 From here on, there's no turning down any requests. 334 00:13:07,314 --> 00:13:08,999 We are the Second First Choir, 335 00:13:09,024 --> 00:13:10,845 and we will do anything for money. 336 00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:13,147 - [PHONE DINGS] - [GASPS] Oh, God, not that. 337 00:13:13,172 --> 00:13:15,710 Dwayne, come on. Get up here, you got this. 338 00:13:15,735 --> 00:13:17,485 [BEATBOXING] 339 00:13:17,510 --> 00:13:19,844 Kimberly, Kimberly, Kimberly. 340 00:13:19,846 --> 00:13:23,077 Mmm, mmm, mmm. You better than that. 341 00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:26,124 $5 to eat a ghost pepper? Heck yeah. 342 00:13:26,149 --> 00:13:27,882 ?? 343 00:13:28,047 --> 00:13:29,279 Yeah! 344 00:13:29,647 --> 00:13:30,874 You got this! 345 00:13:30,899 --> 00:13:34,952 CHOIR: ? A mighty fortress is our God ? 346 00:13:34,977 --> 00:13:39,429 - ? Hey! ? - ? A mighty fortress is our God ? 347 00:13:39,462 --> 00:13:41,117 CHOIR: ? He's our God. ? 348 00:13:41,142 --> 00:13:45,084 - ? A bulwark never failing ? - Another one, really? 349 00:13:45,109 --> 00:13:48,179 - Natalie DeWimple. - CHOIR: ? He never fails ? 350 00:13:48,884 --> 00:13:50,538 ? Amid the floods ? 351 00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,094 CHOIR: ? That's going to build an ark ? 352 00:13:52,118 --> 00:13:54,890 - ? Of mortal ills prevailing ? - [POPPING] 353 00:13:54,915 --> 00:13:57,710 Gram gram, I know that's you, and that is rude. 354 00:13:57,735 --> 00:14:00,335 ? His craft and power are great ? 355 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,710 Linda Bellini, come on down. 356 00:14:02,735 --> 00:14:06,303 You're the next contestant on "The Price is Right." 357 00:14:06,328 --> 00:14:11,796 - ? On earth is not his equal ? - [POPPING] 358 00:14:11,821 --> 00:14:13,374 I'm just saying, Brian, 359 00:14:13,399 --> 00:14:15,566 if you knock another $10 off the room rate, 360 00:14:15,568 --> 00:14:18,692 we could get the word out about your great establishment. 361 00:14:18,717 --> 00:14:21,549 ? The Lexington Inn is the place to stay ? 362 00:14:21,574 --> 00:14:24,763 ? For business, pleasure, or a fun getaway ? 363 00:14:24,788 --> 00:14:28,273 ? People say it's a little slice of heaven ? 364 00:14:28,298 --> 00:14:32,460 ? But don't sleep in, 'cause checkout's at 11:00 ? 365 00:14:32,485 --> 00:14:34,249 [DOOR CLOSES] 366 00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:35,963 I don't know all the hymns, 367 00:14:35,988 --> 00:14:37,913 but I'm pretty sure that's not one of them. 368 00:14:37,938 --> 00:14:39,984 Arthur. You came back. 369 00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:42,734 People are just paying us to do weird crap now. 370 00:14:42,759 --> 00:14:44,726 It's a career I never knew I wanted. 371 00:14:44,764 --> 00:14:48,327 Even with all that we're still $348 short of our goal. 372 00:14:48,352 --> 00:14:49,960 It's actually $353. 373 00:14:49,985 --> 00:14:53,023 Yeah, my dad wouldn't pay once I threw up the ghost pepper. 374 00:14:53,048 --> 00:14:55,023 It's the middle of the night. 375 00:14:55,048 --> 00:14:57,085 Junior is asleep on the church floor, 376 00:14:57,110 --> 00:14:59,102 which is what we were trying to avoid in the first place. 377 00:14:59,126 --> 00:15:00,843 Yeah, can we just call it quits? 378 00:15:00,868 --> 00:15:01,968 [ARGUING CHATTER] 379 00:15:01,993 --> 00:15:04,792 No, no, no, no, no. We can't call it quits. 380 00:15:05,773 --> 00:15:07,210 We came here to sing. 381 00:15:07,235 --> 00:15:09,476 That's what we're gonna do. 382 00:15:09,501 --> 00:15:13,819 I mean, is this the place we really wanna be right now? 383 00:15:13,844 --> 00:15:15,477 No, of course not, 384 00:15:15,661 --> 00:15:19,343 but if all of our other options have been taken away, yeah. 385 00:15:20,510 --> 00:15:22,444 So I'm gonna conduct. 386 00:15:23,679 --> 00:15:25,046 - And we're... - [DINGS] 387 00:15:25,071 --> 00:15:28,516 _ 388 00:15:28,541 --> 00:15:33,152 gonna sing "If You're Happy and You Know It." 389 00:15:33,177 --> 00:15:34,918 [POPPING] 390 00:15:36,115 --> 00:15:38,285 [PLAYS KEY] 391 00:15:38,310 --> 00:15:39,976 CHOIR: ? If you're happy ? 392 00:15:40,001 --> 00:15:43,160 ? And you know it clap your hands ? 393 00:15:43,185 --> 00:15:44,481 [CRYING] Everybody! 394 00:15:44,506 --> 00:15:49,317 ? If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands ? 395 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:54,642 CHOIR: ? If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands ? 396 00:15:54,667 --> 00:15:56,834 [CRIES] If you're happy, and you know it! 397 00:15:56,836 --> 00:15:58,895 I can't see his face. Is he happy? 398 00:16:01,703 --> 00:16:05,778 So, um, I'm guessing you didn't get the job? 399 00:16:05,803 --> 00:16:08,835 That job or any other apparently, 400 00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:11,484 and now the whole world knows. 401 00:16:11,509 --> 00:16:12,718 Oh, no. No, no, no. 402 00:16:12,743 --> 00:16:15,687 It's just Junior's extended family and a bunch of pervs. 403 00:16:15,712 --> 00:16:17,593 - I'm sorry, Arthur. - No! 404 00:16:17,618 --> 00:16:18,837 I thought I was so important that 405 00:16:18,861 --> 00:16:20,243 the rules didn't apply to me. 406 00:16:20,268 --> 00:16:22,665 - It's hubris. - Like Oedipus! 407 00:16:23,102 --> 00:16:25,499 It was a trivia question on my string cheese. 408 00:16:25,524 --> 00:16:27,813 I deserved to get fired. I'm a dick. 409 00:16:27,838 --> 00:16:30,797 Well, the first step to healing is admitting it. 410 00:16:30,822 --> 00:16:34,323 Unless you committed a crime, then it's deny, deny, deny. 411 00:16:34,325 --> 00:16:35,791 And the fact you feel bad about it 412 00:16:35,793 --> 00:16:36,909 shows just how much you've grown. 413 00:16:36,933 --> 00:16:38,775 I was kinda hoping someone was gonna object 414 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:39,948 to the whole, "I'm a dick," thing. 415 00:16:39,972 --> 00:16:42,308 I do, but only because I have 416 00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:44,494 more clever and specific insults. 417 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:48,314 Kimberly said she'll pay $10 to hear those insults. 418 00:16:48,339 --> 00:16:49,822 I got you, girl. 419 00:16:49,847 --> 00:16:52,151 Hey, guys, I know I said that we should do anything 420 00:16:52,176 --> 00:16:53,704 to get to regionals, but... 421 00:16:54,344 --> 00:16:58,025 we don't turn on our friends when they need us the most. 422 00:16:58,282 --> 00:16:59,812 Thank you. 423 00:16:59,837 --> 00:17:01,554 And when you feel better, 424 00:17:01,579 --> 00:17:04,376 we should have some words, because you are a real dick. 425 00:17:04,401 --> 00:17:07,126 Look, I can't un-toss the chair. 426 00:17:07,717 --> 00:17:10,525 I can't un-abandon the Hymn-A-Thon, 427 00:17:10,550 --> 00:17:13,181 and the fact that that doesn't sound strange to me 428 00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:15,095 means I've been in Kentucky too long. 429 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:20,095 But what I can do, is I can help you raise this money. 430 00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,854 Alas, our churchgoing audience is asleep. 431 00:17:22,879 --> 00:17:24,045 Why did we do this 432 00:17:24,070 --> 00:17:26,798 from 7:00 PM to 7:00 AM instead of the other way around? 433 00:17:26,823 --> 00:17:29,189 Because I look good as hell in these pajamas. 434 00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:32,158 They're not churchgoing people, but I do know a place 435 00:17:32,183 --> 00:17:34,462 where there is an audience that's awake. 436 00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:35,987 I know you're probably thinking the prison, 437 00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,330 but they actually make you go to bed 438 00:17:37,354 --> 00:17:38,920 earlier than you think. 439 00:17:39,151 --> 00:17:42,479 ? I do my hair toss, check my nails ? 440 00:17:42,504 --> 00:17:45,179 - ? Baby, how you feelin'? ? - CHOIR: ? Feelin' good as heck ? 441 00:17:45,204 --> 00:17:48,658 ? Hair toss, check my nails, baby, how you feelin'? ? 442 00:17:48,683 --> 00:17:50,204 CHOIR: ? Feelin' good as heck ? 443 00:17:50,229 --> 00:17:52,760 - CHOIR: ? Ooh, child ? - ? Tired of the bullcrap ? 444 00:17:53,151 --> 00:17:54,798 All right, all right. 445 00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:56,150 Thank you, Bibs. 446 00:17:57,495 --> 00:17:59,361 How 'bout them, huh? 447 00:18:00,021 --> 00:18:02,072 ? Come now, come dry your eyes ? 448 00:18:02,097 --> 00:18:04,530 ? You know you a star, you can touch the sky ? 449 00:18:04,555 --> 00:18:07,059 ? I know that it's hard, but you have to try ? 450 00:18:07,084 --> 00:18:09,700 ? If you need advice let me simplify ? 451 00:18:09,725 --> 00:18:12,966 You know, if you still have that letter of apology, 452 00:18:12,991 --> 00:18:14,490 I'll sign it. 453 00:18:14,849 --> 00:18:17,537 That's... unexpected. 454 00:18:17,927 --> 00:18:19,277 Bibs, you got a pen? 455 00:18:19,302 --> 00:18:22,388 CHOIR: ? I do my hair toss, check my nails ? 456 00:18:22,413 --> 00:18:25,044 ? Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as heck! ? 457 00:18:25,069 --> 00:18:28,771 ? Hair toss, check my nails, baby, how you feelin'? ? 458 00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:30,200 ? Feelin' good as heck! ? 459 00:18:30,225 --> 00:18:32,225 Look, I really appreciate you doing this for me. 460 00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:33,783 Oh, I'm not doing it for you. 461 00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:35,788 I'm doing it 'cause it's the right thing to do. 462 00:18:35,813 --> 00:18:40,144 I'm doing it because this is the place I belong. 463 00:18:40,169 --> 00:18:42,151 CHOIR: ? Boss up and change your life ? 464 00:18:42,153 --> 00:18:44,286 ? You can have it all, no sacrifice ? 465 00:18:44,288 --> 00:18:46,974 ? I know he did you wrong, we can make it right ? 466 00:18:46,999 --> 00:18:48,349 I got friends... 467 00:18:48,374 --> 00:18:50,277 Sorry. To be clear, 468 00:18:50,302 --> 00:18:54,607 I don't care why you're doing it, just that you are. 469 00:18:54,632 --> 00:18:57,028 CHOIR: ? So walk your fine rear out the door... ? 470 00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,911 What a [BLEEP]. 471 00:18:58,936 --> 00:19:00,810 CHOIR: ? ... rear out the door ? 472 00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:01,958 ? Woo! ? 473 00:19:01,983 --> 00:19:04,951 ? And do your hair toss, check my nails ? 474 00:19:04,976 --> 00:19:07,776 ? Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as heck! ? 475 00:19:07,778 --> 00:19:09,979 ? Hair toss, check my nails ? 476 00:19:09,981 --> 00:19:12,535 ? Baby how you feelin'? Feelin' good as heck! ? 477 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:16,452 ? Hair toss, check my nails, baby, how you feelin'? ? 478 00:19:16,454 --> 00:19:17,857 ? Feelin' good as heck! ? 479 00:19:17,882 --> 00:19:21,267 ? Hair toss, check my nails, baby, how you feelin'? ? 480 00:19:21,292 --> 00:19:23,359 ? Feelin' good as heck! ? 481 00:19:23,607 --> 00:19:25,201 - ? Feelin' good as heck! ? - [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 482 00:19:25,225 --> 00:19:28,271 ? Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as heck! ? 483 00:19:28,296 --> 00:19:31,731 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 484 00:19:39,572 --> 00:19:41,520 I am beat. 485 00:19:41,545 --> 00:19:42,739 Me too. 486 00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:45,131 I'm so tired, I've forgone the perfect opportunity 487 00:19:45,156 --> 00:19:47,646 to draw a penis on Junior's forehead. 488 00:19:48,207 --> 00:19:50,575 No, I'll never be that tired. 489 00:19:51,198 --> 00:19:52,786 Next time we do a Hymn-A-Thon 490 00:19:52,811 --> 00:19:55,378 can we not do it the night before I have a morning shift? 491 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,693 - That's like your fifth cup. - You got that right. 492 00:19:57,695 --> 00:19:59,130 Why don't you just get an enema? 493 00:19:59,155 --> 00:20:01,155 You put it on the menu, I'll order it. 494 00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:03,255 - [PHONE BUZZING] - I should take this. 495 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:04,575 Dang it, Brian, 496 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,514 you better not be calling to take back your offer. 497 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:09,568 We had a verbal contract. That's a thing idn't it? 498 00:20:09,593 --> 00:20:12,785 It is, and we have a firm no backsies policy. 499 00:20:12,810 --> 00:20:15,544 Oh, kindergarten rules. I respect that. 500 00:20:15,569 --> 00:20:16,935 You've a tough negotiator. 501 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,858 In fact, I know this may sound crazy, 502 00:20:18,883 --> 00:20:21,445 but would you be interested in interviewing 503 00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:24,163 for assistant manager when you're in Lexington? 504 00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:25,500 [GASPS] Oh, yes. 505 00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:27,791 I mean I definitely would love to interview. 506 00:20:28,036 --> 00:20:31,543 I mean... maybe, if it's convenient for me. 507 00:20:31,568 --> 00:20:33,598 You're literally going to be staying here. 508 00:20:33,796 --> 00:20:35,229 What's stopping you? 509 00:20:35,254 --> 00:20:38,785 ?? 510 00:20:38,810 --> 00:20:41,449 I'm sorry, uh. I have to think about it. 511 00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:42,682 I'll see you next week. 512 00:20:42,707 --> 00:20:45,240 ?? 513 00:20:45,242 --> 00:20:49,105 Oh, that was just normal old hotel confirmation business. 514 00:20:49,130 --> 00:20:53,590 You know, numbers, letters, J, Q, 515 00:20:53,615 --> 00:20:55,194 seven... You all set here? 516 00:20:55,219 --> 00:20:57,004 Uh, actually, I want some more. 517 00:20:57,029 --> 00:20:58,328 I finally took your advice 518 00:20:58,353 --> 00:21:00,796 and wiped up the gravy with my biscuit. 519 00:21:01,650 --> 00:21:03,630 You sopped! 520 00:21:03,655 --> 00:21:05,404 - You're on the clock. - Oh. 521 00:21:05,429 --> 00:21:08,319 You know if you guys can live the rest of your lives 522 00:21:08,344 --> 00:21:11,108 in Conley Fork, so can I. 523 00:21:11,133 --> 00:21:13,374 It is full of the best people that I know. 524 00:21:13,399 --> 00:21:16,195 You guys gotta come check out this masterpiece I just drew. 525 00:21:16,220 --> 00:21:18,593 I call it the "Boner Lisa." 526 00:21:18,643 --> 00:21:23,193 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38950

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