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1
00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:04,400
(upbeat tune)
2
00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:11,930
(upbeat Christmas music)
3
00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:40,103
(Dan giggling)
4
00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:43,470
(upbeat Christmas music)
5
00:01:17,133 --> 00:01:19,073
(loud snoring)
6
00:01:19,067 --> 00:01:21,927
(Pauline laughing)
7
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,500
- Happy Christmas, stud.
8
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:29,930
(upbeat Christmas music)
9
00:01:33,733 --> 00:01:35,533
- Happy Christmas, darling.
10
00:01:35,533 --> 00:01:38,973
(upbeat Christmas music)
11
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:44,600
Gary!
12
00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:50,970
Gary!
13
00:01:50,967 --> 00:01:52,427
I think he's been!
14
00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:57,497
(upbeat Christmas music)
15
00:02:10,367 --> 00:02:13,067
- [Lisa] Bye, Mum, bye, Dad.
16
00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:15,167
Happy Christmas.
17
00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:16,067
I love you.
18
00:02:22,567 --> 00:02:24,067
- Merry Christmas!
19
00:02:26,133 --> 00:02:27,633
Are you OK?
20
00:02:27,633 --> 00:02:28,473
(sniffling)
21
00:02:28,467 --> 00:02:29,767
- It's just Mum.
22
00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:30,697
- [Dan] How are they?
23
00:02:30,700 --> 00:02:33,570
- Oh, they're fine.
24
00:02:33,567 --> 00:02:34,797
They're gonna be
calling back later
25
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,830
to see if you like
your Christmas jumper.
26
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,470
- Oh, come on, love.
27
00:02:41,733 --> 00:02:42,773
- I just miss them.
28
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,200
- I know you do but me mum
and dad will be round later
29
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,900
and everyone will be popping by.
30
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:50,630
And you've got me!
31
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,400
- I know.
32
00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:56,873
- Well, that's more like it.
33
00:02:56,867 --> 00:02:59,397
Now, how about a Dan
special egg on toast
34
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,400
with a bloody Mary and
a game of strip snap?
35
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:03,700
- Strip snap?
36
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:05,400
- Well, it is Christmas.
37
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,330
(Lisa chuckling)
38
00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:07,803
- Well, I can't argue with that.
39
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:09,530
- Oh!
40
00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:13,130
(Lisa laughing)
41
00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:14,573
- You haven't, have you?
42
00:03:14,567 --> 00:03:15,497
- Not what?
43
00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:16,570
- You bloody have, haven't you?
44
00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:17,397
- Da-daah!
45
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,830
(Dan excitedly whimpering)
46
00:03:22,833 --> 00:03:23,733
Ohhh!
47
00:03:23,733 --> 00:03:24,973
Not something special?
48
00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:29,170
- Happy Christmas.
49
00:03:32,633 --> 00:03:33,473
- Wow!
50
00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:36,203
Is this all for me?
51
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,070
- Of course.
52
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,500
- This is brilliant, Bianca.
53
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:40,900
Thank you so much.
54
00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:49,100
- What's that?
55
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,400
- Happy Christmas, Bianca.
56
00:03:51,567 --> 00:03:52,697
- Oh, thank you.
57
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:55,100
(soft music)
58
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,600
Ohhh!
59
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:01,830
- Do you like it?
60
00:04:01,833 --> 00:04:05,203
- It's the nicest,
most beautiful thing
61
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,800
I've ever seen in me whole life.
62
00:04:10,067 --> 00:04:11,697
Oh!
63
00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:14,230
- Oh, my God, it's beautiful.
64
00:04:14,233 --> 00:04:15,633
- Do you like it?
65
00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:17,670
- I love it.
66
00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:20,327
(Lisa giggling)
67
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:27,930
Well?
68
00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:32,067
I sent off for them
on the internet.
69
00:04:32,067 --> 00:04:33,497
- Did ya?
70
00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:34,430
- [Dan] They're the
same as them ones
71
00:04:34,433 --> 00:04:35,803
that woman had on at the spa.
72
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,070
- Yeah, I know they are.
73
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:39,067
- You do like them, don't you?
74
00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:41,303
- I love them.
75
00:04:42,467 --> 00:04:43,667
- I can't believe
you got me this!
76
00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:45,927
(giggling)
77
00:04:47,133 --> 00:04:49,573
(soft music)
78
00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:54,203
- So, we meant it, did we,
79
00:04:56,067 --> 00:04:58,067
when we said we were not
bothering with presents?
80
00:04:58,067 --> 00:04:59,197
- Course we bloody did.
81
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,370
Why, you've not
pawned a necklace
82
00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:04,127
and bought me a
Toblerone, have you?
83
00:05:04,133 --> 00:05:05,403
- Have I buggery!
84
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,870
Just thought you might
have done, that's all.
85
00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:11,427
- What, bought you a Toblerone?
86
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:21,070
(door squeaking open and shut)
87
00:05:21,933 --> 00:05:24,933
(drawers squeaking)
88
00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:56,070
(toilet flushing)
89
00:06:02,967 --> 00:06:03,897
What are you doing?
90
00:06:06,067 --> 00:06:08,667
- Just getting ready to
go to our Dan and Lisa's.
91
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:11,067
- We're not going till three.
92
00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:13,427
- I think I should help
Lisa with the spuds.
93
00:06:13,433 --> 00:06:15,803
- You, help with the spuds?
94
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,400
- Yes, me, help with the spuds.
95
00:06:20,533 --> 00:06:22,233
- What about me
Christmas promise?
96
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:24,370
(growling)
97
00:06:24,367 --> 00:06:25,967
(soft music)
98
00:06:25,967 --> 00:06:29,697
(wrapping paper crinkling)
99
00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:30,730
(Dan growling)
100
00:06:30,733 --> 00:06:32,133
- Ah, brilliant.
101
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,270
Thanks, babe, that's brilliant.
102
00:06:34,267 --> 00:06:36,927
(lips smacking)
103
00:06:38,067 --> 00:06:40,297
(grunting)
104
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,130
(Lisa giggling)
105
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,270
40 quid on there.
106
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,600
- Smashing.
107
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,230
- I was going to get
you some nice knickers.
108
00:07:00,233 --> 00:07:01,673
But then I thought, you
know what she's like
109
00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:03,527
when you get her nice knickers,
she always takes them back
110
00:07:03,533 --> 00:07:05,933
and gets different knickers,
so I thought you could just use
111
00:07:05,933 --> 00:07:09,303
that and get the right
knickers in the first place.
112
00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:10,970
(Lisa giggling)
113
00:07:10,967 --> 00:07:12,497
- Oh, that's ace, that is.
114
00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:18,667
(woman mumbling on TV)
115
00:07:18,667 --> 00:07:21,427
Well, best peel them spuds.
116
00:07:22,767 --> 00:07:24,867
(Dan laughing)
117
00:07:24,867 --> 00:07:26,397
What?
118
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:29,070
- You don't think I'm that
bad a husband, do you?
119
00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:30,197
- Oh, they're a wind-up?
- You don't think
120
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,400
I'd actually just sit
here watching that
121
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,730
while you're in the
kitchen peeling spuds?
122
00:07:39,767 --> 00:07:42,167
(soft music)
123
00:07:55,167 --> 00:07:56,227
- Are you ready?
124
00:07:56,233 --> 00:07:58,673
(soft music)
125
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:06,500
I thought I said you
needed to get ready.
126
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:10,100
The homeless shelter!
127
00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:12,070
- I don't really want to go.
128
00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:14,097
- You said you thought
it was a good idea.
129
00:08:16,267 --> 00:08:17,697
- It is a good idea.
130
00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:19,170
It's your good idea.
131
00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:22,127
It's what you do at
Christmas, it's not what I do.
132
00:08:22,133 --> 00:08:24,303
Me and Mum just usually chill
after opening the presents
133
00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:26,300
and watch Star
Wars or something.
134
00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:28,970
- Well, me and your dad
normally go to the shelter.
135
00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:31,767
- I'm not coming, Bianca.
136
00:08:31,767 --> 00:08:33,867
- Then the least you can do
is get yourself clean and tidy
137
00:08:33,867 --> 00:08:35,367
for dinner this afternoon.
138
00:08:36,867 --> 00:08:38,597
And for your information,
139
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,070
I hate Star Wars.
140
00:08:45,667 --> 00:08:47,067
(door slamming shut)
141
00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:49,467
(soft music)
142
00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:02,530
(car door slamming shut)
143
00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:07,970
(soft Christmas music)
144
00:09:17,567 --> 00:09:18,927
(grunting)
145
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,133
(laughing)
146
00:09:20,133 --> 00:09:21,973
- Ohhhh, you're cheating.
147
00:09:21,967 --> 00:09:24,067
- It's snap, how can you cheat?
148
00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:25,067
Come on, get 'em off!
149
00:09:26,467 --> 00:09:30,297
(Dan mimicking soul crooning)
150
00:09:31,233 --> 00:09:34,303
(laughing)
151
00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:35,130
Come on.
152
00:09:38,767 --> 00:09:39,597
- Aow!
153
00:09:41,233 --> 00:09:43,073
Your winning streak is over.
154
00:09:43,067 --> 00:09:44,467
- I think you'll
find you're the one
155
00:09:44,467 --> 00:09:46,267
who's streaking, my love.
156
00:09:46,267 --> 00:09:48,567
- Well, what are
you taking off next?
157
00:09:48,567 --> 00:09:49,597
- Calm down!
158
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,830
(laughing)
159
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:56,330
(grunting)
160
00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:57,873
(laughing)
161
00:09:57,867 --> 00:09:59,067
Oh, no!
162
00:09:59,067 --> 00:10:00,127
- Get 'em off!
163
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:00,973
- Oh, God!
164
00:10:02,367 --> 00:10:03,197
(groaning)
165
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,230
- Ooh, ooh, ooh!
166
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:07,030
Ooh, yeah!
167
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:11,133
(Dan and Lisa laughing)
168
00:10:11,133 --> 00:10:12,133
- Hi, kids.
169
00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:13,473
(Dan and Lisa gasping)
170
00:10:13,467 --> 00:10:15,467
- Are we decent?
171
00:10:15,467 --> 00:10:16,297
Ooh!
172
00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:21,670
Nowt we've not seen before.
173
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,027
- [Lisa] I'm mortified, Dan.
174
00:10:28,033 --> 00:10:28,973
They saw the lot.
175
00:10:28,967 --> 00:10:30,167
- They've seen worse.
176
00:10:30,167 --> 00:10:32,767
- Not where I'm
concerned, they haven't.
177
00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:35,367
Anyway, what are
they doing here now?
178
00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:36,597
I said three!
179
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,470
- Well, how the
hell should I know?
180
00:10:38,467 --> 00:10:39,627
- That was your mother's doing.
181
00:10:39,633 --> 00:10:41,203
I tried to tell her to wait.
182
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,430
Don't know what's up with
her, she's in a foul mood.
183
00:10:43,433 --> 00:10:47,703
- Who's in a foul mood?
- Oh, God.
184
00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:48,670
- I could just do with
a lager, that's all.
185
00:10:48,667 --> 00:10:50,567
Not against the law, is it?
186
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,697
- [Dan And Lisa] Fridge.
187
00:10:58,067 --> 00:10:59,227
- What the frig is that?
188
00:11:01,833 --> 00:11:03,173
- What do you think it is?
189
00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:05,067
- That's a leg of lamb, is that.
190
00:11:05,067 --> 00:11:07,067
- Well done, Mother,
nicely observed.
191
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,397
- No turkey?
192
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,730
You can't have Christmas
without turkey.
193
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,370
- Do me a favor, Mum, and
don't mention the T-word.
194
00:11:16,367 --> 00:11:19,067
Lisa said she'd never be able
to cook one quite like Sue can
195
00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:20,827
and she didn't want to
make a balls-up of it,
196
00:11:20,833 --> 00:11:22,533
so we've got some lamb.
197
00:11:22,533 --> 00:11:24,073
- I could have done it.
198
00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:27,067
- Look, she's upset about
her mum and dad as it is.
199
00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:29,827
Can you not just do me a
favor and keep a sock in it?
200
00:11:29,833 --> 00:11:30,803
For me?
201
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:32,070
Just for today.
202
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:32,897
Hm?
203
00:11:34,433 --> 00:11:36,833
(soft music)
204
00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:41,567
(doorbell ringing)
205
00:11:46,733 --> 00:11:48,103
- Hey, Gary.
- Come in.
206
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:49,930
Everything OK?
207
00:11:49,933 --> 00:11:51,073
- Yeah, great, thanks.
208
00:11:52,433 --> 00:11:53,233
Wow!
209
00:11:54,633 --> 00:11:55,433
Bianca.
210
00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:59,473
And I'm still invited
for Christmas dinner?
211
00:11:59,467 --> 00:12:03,127
- Yeah, why wouldn't you be?
- I've just seen Bianca.
212
00:12:03,133 --> 00:12:04,773
She was crying.
213
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:05,627
- Crying?
- Mm.
214
00:12:08,867 --> 00:12:13,067
- She wanted me to go to this
stupid homeless shelter thing.
215
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:13,927
- Yeah?
216
00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:15,403
Doesn't sound that stupid to me.
217
00:12:16,533 --> 00:12:17,473
- It's what she
used to do with Dad
218
00:12:17,467 --> 00:12:18,927
and he's not here, is he?
219
00:12:18,933 --> 00:12:21,233
- But it's because he's not
here that she still wants to go.
220
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,470
Just try and see it
from her point of view.
221
00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:29,130
You know, when,
222
00:12:29,133 --> 00:12:31,703
when you've lost
someone, Christmas, it's,
223
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,130
it's difficult.
224
00:12:35,133 --> 00:12:36,073
- Yeah.
- Mm.
225
00:12:36,067 --> 00:12:36,897
- I know.
226
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,070
Did you see Cassie and Jake?
227
00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:43,133
- Yeah, I took them
out for tea last night.
228
00:12:44,267 --> 00:12:45,597
And then I had to
drop them off at nine
229
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:49,070
and then I spent the
night in a Travelodge.
230
00:12:49,933 --> 00:12:51,073
- Grim.
231
00:12:51,067 --> 00:12:52,067
- It was really grim.
232
00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:54,673
None of this lot
for me this morning,
233
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:58,567
just a an empty room
and an empty M6.
234
00:13:00,467 --> 00:13:02,767
She's doing her
best for you, Gary.
235
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:05,600
You're a lucky lad.
236
00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,870
- There you go.
- Thank you.
237
00:13:10,867 --> 00:13:14,297
That really is very good of
you to help me out like this.
238
00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:18,130
- Oh, it's really no bother.
- So,
239
00:13:18,133 --> 00:13:20,533
you doing something nice?
240
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:23,103
- [Bianca] Oh, yes, I'm
cooking for Chris and Gary.
241
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:26,570
- How was this morning,
242
00:13:27,667 --> 00:13:29,727
without Jim?
243
00:13:31,667 --> 00:13:33,427
- I got him a present.
244
00:13:33,433 --> 00:13:35,803
I wrapped up a little
box all nicely.
245
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,230
Nothing in it.
246
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,833
It's symbolic, really.
247
00:13:40,967 --> 00:13:45,497
- You are coping admirably,
you do realize that, don't you?
248
00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:48,600
- Thank you.
249
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:51,070
* We wish you a
merry Christmas *
250
00:13:51,067 --> 00:13:53,797
* We wish you a
merry Christmas *
251
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,870
* And a happy new year
252
00:13:56,867 --> 00:13:57,697
(laughing)
253
00:13:57,700 --> 00:13:59,730
- I come bearing gifts.
254
00:13:59,733 --> 00:14:02,573
- She's like one of the
three kings, isn't she?
255
00:14:04,233 --> 00:14:06,073
Not literally.
256
00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:10,727
I meant, if they were
queens, obviously.
257
00:14:10,733 --> 00:14:11,773
Have you two met?
258
00:14:13,167 --> 00:14:15,697
- No, I don't believe
I've had the pleasure, no.
259
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:18,300
- Kate, Roger, Roger, Kate.
260
00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:19,970
- Hello!
- I've heard only
261
00:14:19,967 --> 00:14:21,567
good things, Reverend.
262
00:14:21,567 --> 00:14:23,327
I believe you're the
new judge of the annual
263
00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:25,573
Mushroom Soup Competition
at Ashley Hall.
264
00:14:25,567 --> 00:14:27,067
- Yes, indeed I am, yes.
265
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:30,767
- I came a very close second
a couple of years back.
266
00:14:30,767 --> 00:14:34,497
I should enter again now I
know who I need to impress.
267
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,500
(laughing)
268
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,070
- [Roger] Naughty!
269
00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:42,730
- Oh!
270
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:46,197
(gasping)
271
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,400
Hello.
272
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,170
- We thought you
could use some help.
273
00:14:49,167 --> 00:14:50,767
- Sorry for being a dick.
274
00:14:50,767 --> 00:14:54,397
- Gary, you can't say dick
in front of a clergyman!
275
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,370
- It's no bother,
I've heard far worse.
276
00:14:58,633 --> 00:15:00,403
- [Gary] I'll hand
these mince pies out.
277
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,170
(Bianca giggling)
278
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:05,670
- What a helpful boy.
279
00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:07,197
Such a lovely lad.
280
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,800
- Boys of that age usually are.
281
00:15:10,933 --> 00:15:12,473
Er, Helpful, I mean.
282
00:15:12,467 --> 00:15:15,127
Boys of that age are
usually quite helpful.
283
00:15:15,133 --> 00:15:16,303
Yes.
284
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:18,070
I'll be I'll be over there.
285
00:15:19,733 --> 00:15:22,203
(Bianca giggling)
286
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,070
(lips smacking)
287
00:15:23,067 --> 00:15:23,967
- Mm!
288
00:15:23,967 --> 00:15:24,897
Thank you for bringing him.
289
00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:26,130
- Yeah, we had a little chat.
290
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:28,633
He's just a young
lad missing his dad.
291
00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:32,227
- Today is going to be
tough for both of us, cock,
292
00:15:32,233 --> 00:15:36,573
but if we stick together, we'll
get through this, I promise.
293
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,927
Come on, give me a
hand with all these.
294
00:15:41,633 --> 00:15:44,633
(coughing)
295
00:15:44,633 --> 00:15:48,133
* Where troubles melt
like lemon drops *
296
00:15:48,133 --> 00:15:50,973
* Away above the chimney tops
297
00:15:50,967 --> 00:15:55,967
* Is where you'll find me
298
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:03,667
* Somewhere over the rainbow
299
00:16:04,933 --> 00:16:09,933
* Bluebirds fly
300
00:16:10,967 --> 00:16:14,697
* Birds fly over the rainbow
301
00:16:20,633 --> 00:16:24,073
- Are you absolutely sure that's
enough for the four of us?
302
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,527
- It's plenty, Pauline.
303
00:16:25,533 --> 00:16:28,303
- I've seen more meat
on a sparrow's kneecap.
304
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,970
- You'll be all right once
you've finished your roasties,
305
00:16:30,967 --> 00:16:33,327
and this, of course.
306
00:16:39,633 --> 00:16:42,503
- You have put sponge
fingers in, haven't you?
307
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:46,500
- Yes, I've put sponge fingers
in, Pauline, is that OK?
308
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:47,300
- That's fine.
309
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:51,403
It's that fruit cocktail
stuff I can't stand.
310
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,530
I mean, who in their right
mind eats glace cherries?
311
00:16:53,533 --> 00:16:56,303
And don't get me wrong, but
how pointless are pears?
312
00:17:08,667 --> 00:17:09,867
Ooh, it's cold out h--
313
00:17:09,867 --> 00:17:11,667
(door slamming)
314
00:17:11,667 --> 00:17:13,827
(snoring)
315
00:17:15,533 --> 00:17:16,503
- Kitchen, now!
316
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:25,570
Well, you are going to
have to say something.
317
00:17:25,567 --> 00:17:26,497
- Like what?
318
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:27,930
- I don't know.
319
00:17:27,933 --> 00:17:30,473
But I'm not having me Christmas
Day ruined by your mother.
320
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:31,927
- It's me Christmas
Day, an' all,
321
00:17:31,933 --> 00:17:34,303
and I had mine ruined
last year by your mother!
322
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:35,770
- 12 months have passed
323
00:17:35,767 --> 00:17:37,827
and you're still going on
about Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?
324
00:17:37,833 --> 00:17:39,133
- I'm not going on about it.
325
00:17:39,133 --> 00:17:41,333
I haven't mentioned
it for a bastard year!
326
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:42,903
- You had to bring
it up, didn't you?
327
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,130
You had to use dirty tactics.
328
00:17:44,133 --> 00:17:45,573
It's bad enough me mum
and dad are in Spain
329
00:17:45,567 --> 00:17:47,727
without you having to remind
me every five minutes.
330
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,403
- I haven't mentioned it once!
331
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,700
- Well, you are going
to have to talk to her.
332
00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:52,930
We've not even eaten yet.
333
00:17:52,933 --> 00:17:53,873
Imagine what she's
going to be like
334
00:17:53,867 --> 00:17:55,297
when I bring the Stilton out?
335
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:57,900
I'm not being funny,
Lisa, but who eats cheese?
336
00:17:57,900 --> 00:18:00,700
I eat cheese, Pauline,
Gromit eats cheese, Pauline.
337
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:03,300
Every bugger eats
cheese, Pauline!
338
00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:06,400
(door slamming shut)
339
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,470
Now look what you've
done, you idiot!
340
00:18:15,233 --> 00:18:20,133
* Oh, little town of Bethlehem
341
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:25,133
* How still we see thee lie
342
00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:27,203
* Above thy deep and
dreamless sleep *
343
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,400
- Bianca?
344
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,070
Kate's very kindly
left us these.
345
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:32,197
She said we can take them
back and have them for afters.
346
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,200
Looked like she was in a
bit of a hurry, actually.
347
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,930
- It's a shame she
had to go to Preston.
348
00:18:36,933 --> 00:18:38,803
I could offer her a sweet
sherry at the vicarage
349
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,130
if she was stuck for company.
350
00:18:41,133 --> 00:18:42,303
- She's gone to Preston?
351
00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:43,970
- Mm, Christmas dinner
with Auntie Dee.
352
00:18:43,967 --> 00:18:45,327
- She told me she was
having Christmas dinner
353
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,573
with her Uncle Patrick
in Stalybridge.
354
00:18:47,567 --> 00:18:49,497
- I don't remember
his name but she said
355
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:52,470
she's going to Timperley
to see an old band mate.
356
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,630
[Bianca And Roger] Band mate?
357
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,173
- Sounds like bullshit to me.
358
00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:59,767
- Gary, you can't say bullshit
in front of a clergyman.
359
00:18:59,767 --> 00:19:03,067
Look, I know she's a
bit of a fruit loop,
360
00:19:03,067 --> 00:19:05,467
but I don't think she's
got four personalities.
361
00:19:05,467 --> 00:19:07,397
- But Gary's right,
she's making it up.
362
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,600
- What do you mean?
363
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:09,730
- It's what people do,
364
00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:11,373
they tell people
they're off to an orgy--
365
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:12,897
- Chris!
366
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:15,870
- When really they are just
having a ready meal for one.
367
00:19:15,867 --> 00:19:18,597
- He's right, me Auntie Freda
used to say she was going
368
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:22,770
round for Christmas dinner
with an old Earl from Chester.
369
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,900
Biggest load of bullshit ever.
370
00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:31,433
(Bianca laughing nervously)
371
00:19:31,433 --> 00:19:33,133
- Well, we can't have this,
she'll have to come to us.
372
00:19:33,133 --> 00:19:34,933
Someone will have
to go and get her.
373
00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:38,627
* How silently, how silently
374
00:19:38,633 --> 00:19:41,803
* The wondrous gift is given
375
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,970
(ominous music)
376
00:19:43,967 --> 00:19:46,727
(water dripping)
377
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,200
(soft music)
378
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,370
(sighing)
379
00:19:57,533 --> 00:20:01,303
(door creaking open)
380
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,300
- I'm sorry.
381
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:06,970
- You don't need
to be sorry, love.
382
00:20:06,967 --> 00:20:08,927
- I'm a bit touchy today.
383
00:20:08,933 --> 00:20:11,203
I'm really missing
me mum and dad.
384
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,300
- I know you are, kid.
385
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:16,730
- And I'm a bit pissed
off with Dan, actually.
386
00:20:16,733 --> 00:20:17,973
- Why, what's he done?
387
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:21,067
- Well, it's what he's
not done, more like.
388
00:20:21,067 --> 00:20:24,427
We said we weren't going to get
each other anything special.
389
00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:25,873
Like you do, you know?
390
00:20:25,867 --> 00:20:27,127
- Yeah.
391
00:20:27,133 --> 00:20:28,573
I do.
392
00:20:28,567 --> 00:20:32,827
- Well, I got him a watch
and he got me these.
393
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,500
- What the frig are them?
394
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:40,100
- Well, he's never gone
overboard, has he, our Dan?
395
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:42,030
The last thing I expect
on Christmas morning
396
00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:43,733
is a nice necklace
or some earrings.
397
00:20:43,733 --> 00:20:45,973
- Like his father,
bloody useless.
398
00:20:47,667 --> 00:20:49,467
- He's not got you
a prezzie, has he?
399
00:20:50,633 --> 00:20:51,973
- It's not just that, Lisa.
400
00:20:53,967 --> 00:20:55,197
That's not all he's done.
401
00:20:56,867 --> 00:20:59,027
- Ooh, this sounds ominous!
402
00:20:59,033 --> 00:21:00,233
- [Lisa] He's not
got her a prezzie.
403
00:21:00,233 --> 00:21:01,603
- Oh, you're joking?
404
00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:04,370
- Well, don't worry, love,
405
00:21:04,367 --> 00:21:05,867
we've got a couple of lovely
presents for you to open
406
00:21:05,867 --> 00:21:07,597
round the table
later, haven't we?
407
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,130
- Yes, Mum, course we have.
408
00:21:09,133 --> 00:21:10,833
- You're good kids, you two.
409
00:21:10,833 --> 00:21:13,473
- I know we are, and
it's Christmas Day.
410
00:21:13,467 --> 00:21:16,597
Isn't it about time we all
started enjoying ourselves?
411
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,500
- Couple of
snowballs, some games?
412
00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:19,300
- Too right!
413
00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:20,130
Come on.
414
00:21:21,667 --> 00:21:24,067
(soft music)
415
00:21:28,433 --> 00:21:31,203
(water dripping)
416
00:21:33,267 --> 00:21:34,897
- Oh, my God!
417
00:21:34,900 --> 00:21:36,100
- Shit, the bath!
418
00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:37,070
I left the bath--
419
00:21:37,067 --> 00:21:38,067
- Run up and turn it off.
420
00:21:39,067 --> 00:21:40,297
(loud explosion)
421
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:43,900
(Bianca screaming)
422
00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:45,430
- Oh!
- Oh, bugger.
423
00:21:50,433 --> 00:21:53,833
(upbeat Christmas music)
424
00:22:01,067 --> 00:22:03,327
(laughing)
425
00:22:07,533 --> 00:22:09,603
It's just mess, Bianca.
426
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,670
We can always clear away mess.
427
00:22:11,667 --> 00:22:13,427
- But it smells so horrible.
428
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,500
Everything's ruined.
- The food isn't, though.
429
00:22:19,833 --> 00:22:23,503
- Oh, love, are you OK?
430
00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:25,300
- Right, I'm going to
go over and see Dan,
431
00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:26,230
see if he can help.
432
00:22:26,233 --> 00:22:28,703
- What on earth has happened?
433
00:22:28,700 --> 00:22:29,800
- It's all me fault.
434
00:22:34,300 --> 00:22:35,870
- Somebody should
get her a drink.
435
00:22:35,867 --> 00:22:37,397
- Good idea.
436
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:38,600
You know, Bianca,
437
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,100
I think it might be best
if I head back home.
438
00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:42,670
You've got enough on your plate,
439
00:22:42,667 --> 00:22:45,067
you don't need a stray
cat like me wandering in.
440
00:22:45,067 --> 00:22:47,797
- Oh, no, I want you to stay.
441
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:51,070
I mean, the food's fine
and we've got plenty.
442
00:22:51,067 --> 00:22:53,197
You can't be on your own, Kate.
443
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:54,270
Roger was right,
I'd love a drink.
444
00:22:54,267 --> 00:22:55,627
We should all have a drink.
445
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:57,470
- Oh, go on, then!
446
00:22:58,400 --> 00:22:59,200
You twisted me arm.
447
00:23:00,467 --> 00:23:01,297
Thanks very much.
448
00:23:04,967 --> 00:23:07,067
- Yeah.
- Right foot red.
449
00:23:07,067 --> 00:23:08,897
(grunting)
450
00:23:08,900 --> 00:23:10,570
Left hand, yellow.
451
00:23:10,567 --> 00:23:13,897
(grunting and laughing)
452
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,530
Right hand, green.
453
00:23:17,533 --> 00:23:18,473
(laughing)
454
00:23:18,467 --> 00:23:20,897
- Are you taking the piss?
455
00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:23,900
- Why would I be
taking the piss?
456
00:23:23,900 --> 00:23:24,800
- Just try, Mum.
457
00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:27,130
- You're taking the
piss now, an' all.
458
00:23:27,133 --> 00:23:29,603
- Oh, go on, Pauline!
- Hello!
459
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,870
- Oh, hello, love, come in.
460
00:23:33,533 --> 00:23:36,203
- Oh, sorry to disturb you.
461
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:39,270
Bianca's had a bit of a flood
and I know it's really cheeky
462
00:23:39,267 --> 00:23:42,297
but we were wondering if
you could take a look, Dan.
463
00:23:42,300 --> 00:23:43,570
- But it's Christmas Day!
464
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:45,700
- She's distraught.
465
00:23:45,700 --> 00:23:47,670
- Oh, of course he will.
466
00:23:47,667 --> 00:23:48,497
- Thank you.
467
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:50,430
Really appreciate it.
468
00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:53,630
- Come on, grab your tools.
469
00:23:56,933 --> 00:23:58,203
- No, no, no!
470
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,500
You should never take
a turkey out mid-roast.
471
00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:01,730
- But I'm basting.
472
00:24:01,733 --> 00:24:03,833
- Yeah but you do
that from in there.
473
00:24:03,833 --> 00:24:05,573
All that heat you've lost,
well, you'll never get it back.
474
00:24:05,567 --> 00:24:07,797
- But I can't get
to the other side.
475
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,700
- Yes, she'll burn her hands.
476
00:24:09,700 --> 00:24:11,070
- [Kate] Well, have
you not got a baster?
477
00:24:11,067 --> 00:24:12,227
- [Bianca] No.
478
00:24:12,233 --> 00:24:15,573
- Oh, what a shame,
I've got three at home.
479
00:24:15,567 --> 00:24:16,797
- I've got two, actually.
480
00:24:18,067 --> 00:24:18,867
- Have you?
481
00:24:20,233 --> 00:24:22,603
- Yeah, I could have brought
one round as a spare.
482
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:23,670
- Well, I didn't think.
483
00:24:23,667 --> 00:24:26,667
So could I.
484
00:24:26,667 --> 00:24:29,467
Fancy us pair having
more than one baster.
485
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,430
We're kindred spirits, we are.
486
00:24:38,900 --> 00:24:40,430
- Cheers.
- Good health.
487
00:24:46,333 --> 00:24:50,573
- Oh, Dan, I'm so sorry,
this is all you need.
488
00:24:50,567 --> 00:24:52,897
- Don't be sorry,
it's not your fault.
489
00:24:52,900 --> 00:24:55,170
It's more than a bit
of a mess, that lot.
490
00:24:55,167 --> 00:24:58,067
- So, erm, what
about your dinner?
491
00:24:58,067 --> 00:25:00,897
- Oh, don't worry,
everything's safe in there.
492
00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:02,830
- What's she doing here?
493
00:25:02,833 --> 00:25:04,603
- Bianca invited me.
494
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:05,730
She's very kind.
495
00:25:05,733 --> 00:25:07,203
- Oh, I don't know about that.
496
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,870
What's kind about inviting
someone to eat at a bomb site?
497
00:25:10,867 --> 00:25:13,067
- You weren't to know
this was going to happen.
498
00:25:13,067 --> 00:25:14,367
- Hi, Roger!
499
00:25:14,367 --> 00:25:15,667
- Hello.
500
00:25:15,667 --> 00:25:16,697
- It's bad, isn't it?
501
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:19,100
- It's nothing that we can't fix
502
00:25:19,100 --> 00:25:20,630
with a bit of plaster and paint.
503
00:25:20,633 --> 00:25:23,233
But you've got no chance today.
504
00:25:24,767 --> 00:25:26,097
- Please don't get upset.
505
00:25:26,100 --> 00:25:29,530
- Sorry!
- Oh, Bianca, love, don't cry.
506
00:25:29,533 --> 00:25:31,603
- I just wanted
it to be perfect.
507
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,830
- Listen, why don't
you all eat with us?
508
00:25:35,833 --> 00:25:38,903
We've got a big enough table
and Bianca's cooked all this.
509
00:25:39,767 --> 00:25:41,127
What do you reckon, eh?
510
00:25:41,133 --> 00:25:43,703
(soft snoring)
511
00:25:48,633 --> 00:25:49,733
Right, you two.
512
00:25:49,733 --> 00:25:50,933
- You're needed.
513
00:25:50,933 --> 00:25:52,473
Everyone's coming
over here for dinner.
514
00:25:52,467 --> 00:25:55,497
- You'll like this, Pauline,
we're going to have turkey.
515
00:25:55,500 --> 00:25:58,070
- You should see the size
of it, Mum, it's massive.
516
00:25:58,067 --> 00:25:59,127
- Nowt she can't
handle, I'm sure,
517
00:25:59,133 --> 00:26:01,133
living with the likes of me.
518
00:26:01,133 --> 00:26:02,633
(laughing)
519
00:26:02,633 --> 00:26:06,773
- When are you going to
know when to fucking stop?
520
00:26:06,767 --> 00:26:08,527
Do you know something,
Charlie Johnson?
521
00:26:08,533 --> 00:26:09,873
You're not funny.
522
00:26:09,867 --> 00:26:11,127
And shall I tell
you something else?
523
00:26:11,133 --> 00:26:12,773
You're not big, neither!
524
00:26:12,767 --> 00:26:14,827
And you're not cool
and you're not clever
525
00:26:14,833 --> 00:26:16,403
and you're not smart.
526
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,500
You're a waste of
space, and a snake,
527
00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:21,970
and I've had it up to
here with you today!
528
00:26:21,967 --> 00:26:23,667
Totally up to here!
529
00:26:29,433 --> 00:26:30,773
- Pauline!
- Oh.
530
00:26:38,100 --> 00:26:42,730
Look I found a card from Babs.
531
00:26:42,733 --> 00:26:43,973
- What?
532
00:26:43,967 --> 00:26:45,897
- She sent him a
card, to my house,
533
00:26:45,900 --> 00:26:47,400
and he's hidden it, hasn't he?
534
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:48,870
Under our bed.
535
00:26:48,867 --> 00:26:50,127
- What a bastard!
536
00:26:50,133 --> 00:26:51,373
I'll throttle him when
I get me hands on him.
537
00:26:51,367 --> 00:26:52,627
- I didn't mean
to ruin your day.
538
00:26:52,633 --> 00:26:54,233
I am so sorry, Lisa.
539
00:26:54,233 --> 00:26:57,073
- Hey, you haven't
ruined anything.
540
00:26:57,067 --> 00:26:58,967
You just need to talk to him.
541
00:26:58,967 --> 00:27:01,067
You need to know
what's going on.
542
00:27:01,067 --> 00:27:04,497
Come on, it's freezing.
543
00:27:04,500 --> 00:27:05,600
And there's a turkey over there
544
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,270
with your name on it, remember.
545
00:27:07,267 --> 00:27:08,267
(Pauline laughing)
546
00:27:08,267 --> 00:27:09,797
- Oh, God!
- Come on.
547
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,470
(TV chattering)
548
00:27:17,100 --> 00:27:19,600
- Maybe this is how it
will always be, son.
549
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:22,100
Me never able to do
anything right ever again.
550
00:27:23,533 --> 00:27:25,803
It's the consequences
of making bad choices,
551
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:27,270
if we're going to get technical.
552
00:27:28,233 --> 00:27:29,133
- I thought she'd forgiven you.
553
00:27:29,133 --> 00:27:30,173
- So did I, son.
554
00:27:31,667 --> 00:27:34,527
- She's always been a bit
moody on Christmas morning.
555
00:27:34,533 --> 00:27:36,603
It's all that lager
from the night before.
556
00:27:38,067 --> 00:27:41,067
- It's Christmas afternoon,
Son, not Christmas morning.
557
00:27:41,067 --> 00:27:41,867
- Mm.
558
00:27:43,300 --> 00:27:45,100
Hey, do you remember when
she had too many snakebites
559
00:27:45,100 --> 00:27:46,770
and ended up in
the wrong garden?
560
00:27:47,767 --> 00:27:51,067
- Where Mr. Shaw found her.
561
00:27:51,067 --> 00:27:53,197
- With Uncle Ronnie's
vest on her head.
562
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:55,230
(laughing)
563
00:27:55,233 --> 00:27:57,803
You told me she'd run off
with Uncle Ronnie that night.
564
00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,070
Cried meself to sleep.
565
00:28:00,300 --> 00:28:02,600
- Proper little
mummy's boy, you were.
566
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,270
You needed something
to toughen you up,
567
00:28:04,267 --> 00:28:06,827
something to stop you passing
through the other side.
568
00:28:06,833 --> 00:28:09,073
- Loving your mum doesn't
make you gay, Dad.
569
00:28:10,067 --> 00:28:11,527
- I know, Son.
570
00:28:11,533 --> 00:28:15,173
Sometimes I said stupid things
just to make you less clingy.
571
00:28:15,167 --> 00:28:16,827
I wanted you to look up to me
572
00:28:16,833 --> 00:28:18,803
like you looked up
to her all the time.
573
00:28:20,100 --> 00:28:21,800
- I always looked
up to you, Dad.
574
00:28:22,667 --> 00:28:25,327
Don't worry about that.
575
00:28:25,333 --> 00:28:27,403
Even if I was a mummy's boy.
576
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,230
(Charlie sighing)
577
00:28:31,700 --> 00:28:34,130
(soft music)
578
00:28:39,967 --> 00:28:41,467
- Right, love, are
you ready to roll?
579
00:28:41,467 --> 00:28:43,067
- Yes!
580
00:28:43,067 --> 00:28:44,697
You really are very kind,
letting us all come round.
581
00:28:46,533 --> 00:28:48,073
Gary!
582
00:28:48,067 --> 00:28:51,797
* Santa, Santa baby
583
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:53,330
* Please won't you
hurry up tonight *
584
00:28:53,333 --> 00:28:56,673
(Chris mumbling)
585
00:28:56,667 --> 00:28:58,067
- Hey, ooh, lovely.
586
00:28:58,067 --> 00:28:59,427
Here's the meat.
- It's you, running through.
587
00:28:59,433 --> 00:29:00,403
- Be nice!
588
00:29:01,267 --> 00:29:03,067
- Look, Dad, be ready, be ready.
589
00:29:03,067 --> 00:29:05,697
- All right, all right.
590
00:29:05,700 --> 00:29:08,700
- Charlie, you've had a few.
- Yeah.
591
00:29:10,500 --> 00:29:11,570
- Come on!
592
00:29:11,567 --> 00:29:13,267
You want to quicken up.
593
00:29:14,967 --> 00:29:16,397
* Santa, Santa, Santa baby
594
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:17,600
- Here, here.
- Dad, wandering,
595
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:18,430
wandering.
596
00:29:20,100 --> 00:29:23,870
* So when I hear
those sleigh bells *
597
00:29:23,867 --> 00:29:28,867
* I wanna see you
under the mistletoe *
598
00:29:30,933 --> 00:29:32,903
* He's checkin' who's nice
599
00:29:32,900 --> 00:29:37,770
* Santa, my friend, you
can skip me house tonight *
600
00:29:37,767 --> 00:29:42,467
* Been a good boy this
year, no worries there *
601
00:29:42,467 --> 00:29:45,097
* It's just that ever
since you came along *
602
00:29:45,100 --> 00:29:47,370
* Ever since you came along
603
00:29:47,367 --> 00:29:50,097
* Our whole world's
been upside down *
604
00:29:50,100 --> 00:29:52,300
* Like a snowball in the snow
605
00:29:52,300 --> 00:29:53,500
- I don't want any
of us to fall out,
606
00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:54,830
not at Christmas.
607
00:29:54,833 --> 00:29:56,173
- [Lisa] Me, neither.
608
00:29:56,167 --> 00:29:57,297
- I know it's been
hard for you today
609
00:29:57,300 --> 00:29:59,070
with your mum and dad not here.
610
00:29:59,067 --> 00:30:01,327
- Look, I'm a big
girl, I can cope.
611
00:30:01,333 --> 00:30:03,873
- I just wish me mum would
stop picking on me dad.
612
00:30:05,233 --> 00:30:06,873
- She found a card.
613
00:30:06,867 --> 00:30:07,727
From Babs.
614
00:30:08,633 --> 00:30:09,933
- What?
615
00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:11,973
- She's upset.
616
00:30:11,967 --> 00:30:12,797
- I'll bloody kill him!
617
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:13,630
- Leave it, Dan.
618
00:30:13,633 --> 00:30:15,073
Not today.
619
00:30:15,067 --> 00:30:17,097
Let them sort out themselves.
620
00:30:18,767 --> 00:30:21,667
- [Charlie] Remember this
one down the Locarno?
621
00:30:21,667 --> 00:30:23,127
- How could I forget it?
622
00:30:23,133 --> 00:30:25,103
- Smooch with me, Pauline.
623
00:30:25,100 --> 00:30:29,000
- Look, if all these people
weren't here right now,
624
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:32,500
today would be a very
different story, pal.
625
00:30:32,500 --> 00:30:34,570
But it's Christmas and
I didn't want to ruin it
626
00:30:34,567 --> 00:30:36,327
for our Dan and Lisa.
627
00:30:36,333 --> 00:30:38,673
But I can't do this any more,
628
00:30:38,667 --> 00:30:40,997
I can't take any more
of your bullshit.
629
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:41,970
We're finished.
630
00:30:42,933 --> 00:30:45,033
- What?
- It's over!
631
00:30:46,467 --> 00:30:47,427
- [Dan] Mum?
632
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:50,500
- Did you not see that?
633
00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:52,500
I only asked her for a dance.
634
00:30:52,500 --> 00:30:54,570
- She found the card, you idiot!
635
00:30:54,567 --> 00:30:55,497
From Babs.
636
00:30:57,733 --> 00:30:58,933
- Oh, bugger.
637
00:30:58,933 --> 00:31:01,073
- After everything you said.
638
00:31:01,067 --> 00:31:04,097
You lied to me mum and
you lied to me before.
639
00:31:04,100 --> 00:31:05,330
You're full of shit!
640
00:31:05,333 --> 00:31:07,933
- No, son, it came in
the post the other day.
641
00:31:07,933 --> 00:31:09,833
I didn't know anything about it.
642
00:31:09,833 --> 00:31:12,133
I mean, I had to hide it.
643
00:31:12,133 --> 00:31:15,273
What else could I do
with your mum there?
644
00:31:15,267 --> 00:31:17,497
I didn't want to hurt her.
645
00:31:17,500 --> 00:31:18,500
I love her, Lisa.
646
00:31:19,667 --> 00:31:22,467
And I love you two,
you're my family.
647
00:31:23,633 --> 00:31:25,503
I'll not fuck it up
again, I promise.
648
00:31:28,100 --> 00:31:29,970
- Go and sort it, then.
649
00:31:29,967 --> 00:31:30,797
- Aye.
650
00:32:00,567 --> 00:32:01,667
You were in the shower.
651
00:32:02,700 --> 00:32:04,400
I'd no idea who it was from.
652
00:32:05,833 --> 00:32:10,373
I opened it, saw the name,
and shoved it under the bed
653
00:32:10,367 --> 00:32:12,427
when I heard the
water stop running.
654
00:32:13,867 --> 00:32:16,827
- I told you, I can't do
any more of your bullshit.
655
00:32:16,833 --> 00:32:18,103
- I promise you, Pauline.
656
00:32:19,767 --> 00:32:22,967
You're the one for
me, you know you are.
657
00:32:22,967 --> 00:32:24,797
- But I don't know, Charlie.
658
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,970
- I don't want her.
659
00:32:28,967 --> 00:32:29,867
I want you.
660
00:32:49,300 --> 00:32:50,500
Ooh!
661
00:32:50,500 --> 00:32:52,830
- What do you
think you're doing?
662
00:32:55,700 --> 00:32:57,270
What's that?
663
00:32:57,267 --> 00:32:58,767
- You were looking in the
wrong place, you dozy cow.
664
00:32:58,767 --> 00:33:00,367
This was under the kitchen sink.
665
00:33:01,867 --> 00:33:04,267
(soft music)
666
00:33:09,533 --> 00:33:10,373
Open it.
667
00:33:25,700 --> 00:33:27,230
- Oh.
668
00:33:27,233 --> 00:33:28,203
- Marry me, Pauline.
669
00:33:31,067 --> 00:33:32,067
For keeps this time.
670
00:33:36,700 --> 00:33:39,130
(soft music)
671
00:33:41,133 --> 00:33:43,633
(laughing)
672
00:33:43,633 --> 00:33:45,073
- Anyone fancy carving?
673
00:33:45,067 --> 00:33:46,227
- I will.
674
00:33:46,233 --> 00:33:49,173
- No, no, you're all
right, it's a man's job.
675
00:33:49,167 --> 00:33:50,427
- Excuse me!
676
00:33:50,433 --> 00:33:52,403
- Before you start
burning your bra,
677
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:53,670
let's have a vote on it.
678
00:33:53,667 --> 00:33:54,497
- Yeah.
679
00:33:56,100 --> 00:33:58,800
Hands up if you think carving
the turkey's a man's job.
680
00:34:00,367 --> 00:34:02,067
(Lisa gasping)
681
00:34:02,067 --> 00:34:04,267
(Dan laughing)
682
00:34:04,267 --> 00:34:05,097
- It's pathetic!
683
00:34:06,233 --> 00:34:09,073
- Ah, well, in that
case, come here.
684
00:34:09,067 --> 00:34:10,867
- Well, go on, then, tuck in.
685
00:34:10,867 --> 00:34:13,267
(chattering)
686
00:34:17,100 --> 00:34:18,930
(clearing throat)
687
00:34:18,933 --> 00:34:20,903
- Oh, God, we forgot grace.
688
00:34:20,900 --> 00:34:21,830
- Who the frig's she?
689
00:34:21,833 --> 00:34:23,833
- Grace, Mother, prayers!
690
00:34:23,833 --> 00:34:25,403
- No, no, actually, no.
691
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,600
We can all do grace in a
minute if that's what you want.
692
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,800
No, what I'd really
like to do is to say
693
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,570
a few words, if I may.
694
00:34:32,567 --> 00:34:33,597
- Go ahead, mate.
695
00:34:34,767 --> 00:34:35,797
- Stand up, cock.
696
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:37,300
- Oh, yes.
697
00:34:38,733 --> 00:34:43,403
Right, well, I'd just like
to say that of all the places
698
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:45,200
I have spent Christmas Day,
699
00:34:46,433 --> 00:34:48,473
and with all the people
that I've spent it with,
700
00:34:48,467 --> 00:34:53,297
I have never felt more
warmly welcomed than here.
701
00:34:54,267 --> 00:34:56,167
- Ah.
- You're all a very
702
00:34:56,167 --> 00:34:59,297
special bunch of people.
703
00:34:59,300 --> 00:35:03,800
And so I would like to
propose a toast, if I may.
704
00:35:05,700 --> 00:35:10,700
To Bianca, for helping
me this morning.
705
00:35:11,533 --> 00:35:12,273
- Oh!
- To Bianca!
706
00:35:14,500 --> 00:35:17,070
(chattering)
707
00:35:18,867 --> 00:35:23,267
- To Kate, for all
you lovely mince pies.
708
00:35:24,667 --> 00:35:25,667
- To Kate.
- To Kate.
709
00:35:25,667 --> 00:35:26,497
- Kate.
710
00:35:29,833 --> 00:35:31,573
- [Bianca] Go on, you can start.
711
00:35:31,567 --> 00:35:34,497
(chattering)
712
00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:36,730
- To Dan and Lisa,
713
00:35:38,333 --> 00:35:40,933
for letting us all
come round here.
714
00:35:40,933 --> 00:35:43,403
- Dan and Lisa.
- Dan and Lisa.
715
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:44,470
- Dan'n'Lisa.
716
00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:56,800
- Right, are we done, shall
we eat, before me ribs snap?
717
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:57,830
(laughing)
718
00:35:57,833 --> 00:36:00,673
(chattering)
719
00:36:00,667 --> 00:36:02,627
- Will you excuse me a minute?
720
00:36:02,633 --> 00:36:03,633
- Of course.
721
00:36:09,567 --> 00:36:10,397
- Are you all right, cock?
722
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:11,230
- It's fine.
723
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,570
It's just seeing everyone
together, you know.
724
00:36:15,567 --> 00:36:16,597
- I know.
725
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:17,400
Yeah.
726
00:36:18,767 --> 00:36:20,367
Shall I leave you for a moment?
727
00:36:20,367 --> 00:36:21,197
- It's fine.
728
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:25,070
- Well, you know where
we are when you need us.
729
00:36:25,067 --> 00:36:27,667
- Please, will you,
730
00:36:27,667 --> 00:36:29,827
will you just stay with
me for a minute, Bianca?
731
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,930
I don't know what I would
have done without you today.
732
00:36:35,367 --> 00:36:37,897
- I don't know what I'd have
done without you, either.
733
00:36:37,900 --> 00:36:39,070
- You are so special.
734
00:36:41,100 --> 00:36:42,830
- Come on, our dinner
will be getting cold.
735
00:36:42,833 --> 00:36:45,573
- I don't care about
Christmas dinner.
736
00:36:45,567 --> 00:36:46,727
- Well, you should.
737
00:36:46,733 --> 00:36:47,833
I made the stuffing
from scratch.
738
00:36:47,833 --> 00:36:49,633
I even grew the sage.
739
00:36:49,633 --> 00:36:50,933
(chuckling)
740
00:36:50,933 --> 00:36:52,373
What?
741
00:36:52,367 --> 00:36:54,067
- You.
742
00:36:54,067 --> 00:36:55,367
- What about me?
743
00:36:58,467 --> 00:37:01,127
(lips smacking)
744
00:37:05,267 --> 00:37:06,097
- I love you.
745
00:37:08,333 --> 00:37:10,703
- No, you don't, cock.
746
00:37:10,700 --> 00:37:13,270
You're feeling lonely
and it's Christmas
747
00:37:13,267 --> 00:37:15,067
and we've all had a
bit too much wine.
748
00:37:15,067 --> 00:37:16,227
- It's not because I'm lonely
749
00:37:16,233 --> 00:37:18,073
and it's got nothing
to do with Christmas.
750
00:37:20,900 --> 00:37:21,870
I love you.
751
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:25,500
It's that simple.
752
00:37:25,500 --> 00:37:28,270
- Stop it, Chris.
753
00:37:28,267 --> 00:37:29,667
You're being silly.
754
00:37:29,667 --> 00:37:31,967
Come on, let's go back in.
755
00:37:31,967 --> 00:37:33,467
You're drunk.
756
00:37:33,467 --> 00:37:34,497
- Nah, I'm not drunk.
757
00:37:37,700 --> 00:37:40,870
I love it that you panic
about wearing trainers.
758
00:37:42,067 --> 00:37:43,897
I love it when you
call everyone Cock.
759
00:37:45,233 --> 00:37:47,073
Mm, really inappropriately.
760
00:37:47,067 --> 00:37:49,597
I love it that you think
inviting the local vicar round
761
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:52,170
for a game of Twister is
perfectly normal behavior.
762
00:37:53,833 --> 00:37:55,703
I love your smile.
763
00:37:59,833 --> 00:38:02,403
You've got such a
beautiful smile, Bianca.
764
00:38:05,700 --> 00:38:07,130
And I love it when you cry
765
00:38:08,333 --> 00:38:10,503
because it just makes me
want to look after you.
766
00:38:12,467 --> 00:38:14,397
And I love what you've
done for that lad in there
767
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:15,770
since his dad died.
768
00:38:18,633 --> 00:38:19,873
You're brilliant, Bianca.
769
00:38:21,967 --> 00:38:23,797
You're really bloody brilliant.
770
00:38:26,867 --> 00:38:28,967
Now I sound like an idiot
spouting out rubbish,
771
00:38:28,967 --> 00:38:30,667
when all I want
to do is kiss you.
772
00:38:34,367 --> 00:38:35,197
Can I kiss you?
773
00:38:37,867 --> 00:38:38,767
Properly kiss you?
774
00:38:43,833 --> 00:38:46,503
(lips smacking)
775
00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:50,197
- No one's ever said anything
like that to me before.
776
00:38:51,500 --> 00:38:54,330
(uplifting music)
777
00:38:58,733 --> 00:39:01,403
(lips smacking)
778
00:39:04,700 --> 00:39:05,530
Oh!
779
00:39:07,133 --> 00:39:09,733
We'd best go back
and get some food.
780
00:39:09,733 --> 00:39:12,073
Before it all gets a
bit Ingrid Bergman.
781
00:39:13,967 --> 00:39:16,197
(giggling)
782
00:39:17,333 --> 00:39:19,503
- Like a pig-in-a-blanket?
- Oh,
783
00:39:19,500 --> 00:39:22,800
a toast to Bianca
and Chris, I think.
784
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:24,400
- Bianca and Chris!
785
00:39:27,100 --> 00:39:28,100
- I don't want to piss
on anyone's chips,
786
00:39:28,100 --> 00:39:30,670
but do you mind if I do a toast?
787
00:39:30,667 --> 00:39:33,867
- Oh, can I have me
frigging dinner first?
788
00:39:33,867 --> 00:39:34,697
- Pauline!
789
00:39:36,900 --> 00:39:39,100
It's been really hard for me
today, without me mum and dad
790
00:39:39,100 --> 00:39:43,430
and I know I've been a
bit of a stroppy cow,
791
00:39:43,433 --> 00:39:45,173
and I'm really sorry.
792
00:39:45,167 --> 00:39:49,067
But, you know, do you know
what I've loved about it?
793
00:39:49,067 --> 00:39:50,467
Well, with you lot here
794
00:39:50,467 --> 00:39:52,627
it's actually been all right.
795
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,430
And I'm actually OK,
796
00:39:55,433 --> 00:39:57,303
and after the flood,
797
00:39:57,300 --> 00:40:01,200
we all mucked in and I
think Bianca's OK, too.
798
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:02,430
So, we're all OK.
799
00:40:02,433 --> 00:40:03,833
(laughing)
800
00:40:03,833 --> 00:40:07,933
And I'd just like to
say, thank you, really,
801
00:40:07,933 --> 00:40:12,603
to the lot of you, well, for
making this such a great day.
802
00:40:14,567 --> 00:40:16,067
To you lot!
803
00:40:16,067 --> 00:40:17,727
- [Group] To us lot!
804
00:40:19,033 --> 00:40:21,203
(glasses clanking)
(chattering)
805
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:22,270
(clearing throat)
806
00:40:22,267 --> 00:40:23,497
- Right, right, now.
807
00:40:24,700 --> 00:40:26,570
I really am going to
piss on your chips.
808
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:28,570
- Ohhh.
- Come on.
809
00:40:31,933 --> 00:40:35,673
* I'm getting married
in the morning *
810
00:40:35,667 --> 00:40:39,397
* Ding-dong, the bells
are gonna chime *
811
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:41,630
(laughing)
812
00:40:42,833 --> 00:40:46,733
Oh, it's all right, Son,
it's really all right.
813
00:40:49,233 --> 00:40:50,873
Hm!
814
00:40:50,867 --> 00:40:51,827
- Hooray!
815
00:40:51,833 --> 00:40:55,173
(applauding and laughing)
816
00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:59,070
- Happy Christmas, everyone!
- Happy Christmas!
817
00:40:59,067 --> 00:41:01,327
- Happy Christmas!
818
00:41:01,333 --> 00:41:03,773
(chattering)
819
00:41:06,867 --> 00:41:09,697
- I'm really pleased for you.
- Congratulations!
820
00:41:09,700 --> 00:41:12,670
- I know.
- He went down on bended knee.
821
00:41:12,667 --> 00:41:15,097
(chattering)
822
00:41:20,067 --> 00:41:21,527
- What's up?
823
00:41:21,533 --> 00:41:22,933
You're all right about your
mum and dad, aren't you?
824
00:41:22,933 --> 00:41:24,303
- Course I am!
825
00:41:24,300 --> 00:41:28,900
I just wanted to tell
you your speech was ace.
826
00:41:28,900 --> 00:41:29,730
(Lisa laughing)
827
00:41:29,733 --> 00:41:30,673
- Oh, thanks.
828
00:41:30,667 --> 00:41:32,397
- And today's been amazing.
829
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,900
The food, my present.
830
00:41:34,900 --> 00:41:38,270
- Aw, really?
- And I still can't believe
831
00:41:38,267 --> 00:41:40,797
you haven't kicked off
about your present.
832
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:41,970
- Why would I kick off?
833
00:41:44,333 --> 00:41:45,173
I love 'em.
834
00:41:45,167 --> 00:41:46,727
- Oh, come on!
835
00:41:46,733 --> 00:41:47,703
Don't tell me you haven't
wanted to cut me head off
836
00:41:47,700 --> 00:41:49,600
'cos of those monstrosities.
837
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,930
You don't really think
I wouldn't get you
838
00:41:52,933 --> 00:41:55,333
a special present, do you?
- Ohhhhh.
839
00:41:56,267 --> 00:41:57,967
(laughing)
840
00:41:57,967 --> 00:41:59,767
- Go on, just open it.
841
00:42:08,067 --> 00:42:09,597
(Lisa gasping)
842
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:11,730
- Ah.
- Do you like 'em?
843
00:42:11,733 --> 00:42:13,203
- I love them.
844
00:42:14,467 --> 00:42:16,927
Ohhh!
845
00:42:16,933 --> 00:42:17,833
- Mm!
- Aw!
846
00:42:19,067 --> 00:42:19,897
(doorbell ringing)
847
00:42:19,900 --> 00:42:20,730
- Oh!
- Oh.
848
00:42:24,067 --> 00:42:25,427
- [Both] Happy Christmas!
849
00:42:25,433 --> 00:42:27,433
(laughing)
850
00:42:27,433 --> 00:42:28,673
- Come in!
851
00:42:28,667 --> 00:42:29,597
Take your coats off.
852
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:30,470
It's freezing!
853
00:42:30,467 --> 00:42:32,067
Hello, Joshua.
854
00:42:32,067 --> 00:42:34,197
- Are we too late
for tequila charades?
855
00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:35,430
- I think so.
- Yeah,
856
00:42:35,433 --> 00:42:37,303
you haven't missed
the karaoke, though.
857
00:42:37,300 --> 00:42:38,930
(laughing)
858
00:42:38,933 --> 00:42:40,073
- Come in.
- There you go, cheers.
859
00:42:40,067 --> 00:42:41,527
(gasping)
860
00:42:41,533 --> 00:42:44,073
* For a day
861
00:42:44,067 --> 00:42:47,967
* So here it is,
merry Christmas *
862
00:42:47,967 --> 00:42:52,897
* Everybody's having fun
863
00:42:52,900 --> 00:42:55,830
* Look to the future now
864
00:42:55,833 --> 00:42:59,073
* It's only just begun
865
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:06,130
- [Lisa] Happy
Christmas, everyone!
866
00:43:07,167 --> 00:43:09,497
(screaming)
867
00:43:11,733 --> 00:43:14,403
* It's a merry, merry,
merry, merry Christmas *
868
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,230
* Take a walk in
the frosty air *
869
00:43:17,233 --> 00:43:20,533
* And every time
you go outside *
870
00:43:20,533 --> 00:43:23,773
* There's snowflakes
in your hair *
871
00:43:23,767 --> 00:43:26,727
* Have a happy, happy,
happy little holiday *
872
00:43:26,733 --> 00:43:29,703
* And a one wonderful New Year
873
00:43:29,700 --> 00:43:32,970
* Let's deck those
halls with mistletoe *
874
00:43:32,967 --> 00:43:35,967
* 'Cause Christmas
time is here *
875
00:43:35,967 --> 00:43:39,197
* Let's deck those
halls with mistletoe *
876
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:43,300
* 'Cause Christmas
time is here *
59572
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