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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:04,400 (upbeat tune) 2 00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:11,930 (upbeat Christmas music) 3 00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:40,103 (Dan giggling) 4 00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:43,470 (upbeat Christmas music) 5 00:01:17,133 --> 00:01:19,073 (loud snoring) 6 00:01:19,067 --> 00:01:21,927 (Pauline laughing) 7 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,500 - Happy Christmas, stud. 8 00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:29,930 (upbeat Christmas music) 9 00:01:33,733 --> 00:01:35,533 - Happy Christmas, darling. 10 00:01:35,533 --> 00:01:38,973 (upbeat Christmas music) 11 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:44,600 Gary! 12 00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:50,970 Gary! 13 00:01:50,967 --> 00:01:52,427 I think he's been! 14 00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:57,497 (upbeat Christmas music) 15 00:02:10,367 --> 00:02:13,067 - [Lisa] Bye, Mum, bye, Dad. 16 00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:15,167 Happy Christmas. 17 00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:16,067 I love you. 18 00:02:22,567 --> 00:02:24,067 - Merry Christmas! 19 00:02:26,133 --> 00:02:27,633 Are you OK? 20 00:02:27,633 --> 00:02:28,473 (sniffling) 21 00:02:28,467 --> 00:02:29,767 - It's just Mum. 22 00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:30,697 - [Dan] How are they? 23 00:02:30,700 --> 00:02:33,570 - Oh, they're fine. 24 00:02:33,567 --> 00:02:34,797 They're gonna be calling back later 25 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,830 to see if you like your Christmas jumper. 26 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,470 - Oh, come on, love. 27 00:02:41,733 --> 00:02:42,773 - I just miss them. 28 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,200 - I know you do but me mum and dad will be round later 29 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,900 and everyone will be popping by. 30 00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:50,630 And you've got me! 31 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,400 - I know. 32 00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:56,873 - Well, that's more like it. 33 00:02:56,867 --> 00:02:59,397 Now, how about a Dan special egg on toast 34 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,400 with a bloody Mary and a game of strip snap? 35 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:03,700 - Strip snap? 36 00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:05,400 - Well, it is Christmas. 37 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,330 (Lisa chuckling) 38 00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:07,803 - Well, I can't argue with that. 39 00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:09,530 - Oh! 40 00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:13,130 (Lisa laughing) 41 00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:14,573 - You haven't, have you? 42 00:03:14,567 --> 00:03:15,497 - Not what? 43 00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:16,570 - You bloody have, haven't you? 44 00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:17,397 - Da-daah! 45 00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,830 (Dan excitedly whimpering) 46 00:03:22,833 --> 00:03:23,733 Ohhh! 47 00:03:23,733 --> 00:03:24,973 Not something special? 48 00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:29,170 - Happy Christmas. 49 00:03:32,633 --> 00:03:33,473 - Wow! 50 00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:36,203 Is this all for me? 51 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,070 - Of course. 52 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,500 - This is brilliant, Bianca. 53 00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:40,900 Thank you so much. 54 00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:49,100 - What's that? 55 00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,400 - Happy Christmas, Bianca. 56 00:03:51,567 --> 00:03:52,697 - Oh, thank you. 57 00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:55,100 (soft music) 58 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,600 Ohhh! 59 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:01,830 - Do you like it? 60 00:04:01,833 --> 00:04:05,203 - It's the nicest, most beautiful thing 61 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,800 I've ever seen in me whole life. 62 00:04:10,067 --> 00:04:11,697 Oh! 63 00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:14,230 - Oh, my God, it's beautiful. 64 00:04:14,233 --> 00:04:15,633 - Do you like it? 65 00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:17,670 - I love it. 66 00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:20,327 (Lisa giggling) 67 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:27,930 Well? 68 00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:32,067 I sent off for them on the internet. 69 00:04:32,067 --> 00:04:33,497 - Did ya? 70 00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:34,430 - [Dan] They're the same as them ones 71 00:04:34,433 --> 00:04:35,803 that woman had on at the spa. 72 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,070 - Yeah, I know they are. 73 00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:39,067 - You do like them, don't you? 74 00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:41,303 - I love them. 75 00:04:42,467 --> 00:04:43,667 - I can't believe you got me this! 76 00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:45,927 (giggling) 77 00:04:47,133 --> 00:04:49,573 (soft music) 78 00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:54,203 - So, we meant it, did we, 79 00:04:56,067 --> 00:04:58,067 when we said we were not bothering with presents? 80 00:04:58,067 --> 00:04:59,197 - Course we bloody did. 81 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,370 Why, you've not pawned a necklace 82 00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:04,127 and bought me a Toblerone, have you? 83 00:05:04,133 --> 00:05:05,403 - Have I buggery! 84 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,870 Just thought you might have done, that's all. 85 00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:11,427 - What, bought you a Toblerone? 86 00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:21,070 (door squeaking open and shut) 87 00:05:21,933 --> 00:05:24,933 (drawers squeaking) 88 00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:56,070 (toilet flushing) 89 00:06:02,967 --> 00:06:03,897 What are you doing? 90 00:06:06,067 --> 00:06:08,667 - Just getting ready to go to our Dan and Lisa's. 91 00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:11,067 - We're not going till three. 92 00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:13,427 - I think I should help Lisa with the spuds. 93 00:06:13,433 --> 00:06:15,803 - You, help with the spuds? 94 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,400 - Yes, me, help with the spuds. 95 00:06:20,533 --> 00:06:22,233 - What about me Christmas promise? 96 00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:24,370 (growling) 97 00:06:24,367 --> 00:06:25,967 (soft music) 98 00:06:25,967 --> 00:06:29,697 (wrapping paper crinkling) 99 00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:30,730 (Dan growling) 100 00:06:30,733 --> 00:06:32,133 - Ah, brilliant. 101 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,270 Thanks, babe, that's brilliant. 102 00:06:34,267 --> 00:06:36,927 (lips smacking) 103 00:06:38,067 --> 00:06:40,297 (grunting) 104 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,130 (Lisa giggling) 105 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,270 40 quid on there. 106 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,600 - Smashing. 107 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,230 - I was going to get you some nice knickers. 108 00:07:00,233 --> 00:07:01,673 But then I thought, you know what she's like 109 00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:03,527 when you get her nice knickers, she always takes them back 110 00:07:03,533 --> 00:07:05,933 and gets different knickers, so I thought you could just use 111 00:07:05,933 --> 00:07:09,303 that and get the right knickers in the first place. 112 00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:10,970 (Lisa giggling) 113 00:07:10,967 --> 00:07:12,497 - Oh, that's ace, that is. 114 00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:18,667 (woman mumbling on TV) 115 00:07:18,667 --> 00:07:21,427 Well, best peel them spuds. 116 00:07:22,767 --> 00:07:24,867 (Dan laughing) 117 00:07:24,867 --> 00:07:26,397 What? 118 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:29,070 - You don't think I'm that bad a husband, do you? 119 00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:30,197 - Oh, they're a wind-up? - You don't think 120 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,400 I'd actually just sit here watching that 121 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,730 while you're in the kitchen peeling spuds? 122 00:07:39,767 --> 00:07:42,167 (soft music) 123 00:07:55,167 --> 00:07:56,227 - Are you ready? 124 00:07:56,233 --> 00:07:58,673 (soft music) 125 00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:06,500 I thought I said you needed to get ready. 126 00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:10,100 The homeless shelter! 127 00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:12,070 - I don't really want to go. 128 00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:14,097 - You said you thought it was a good idea. 129 00:08:16,267 --> 00:08:17,697 - It is a good idea. 130 00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:19,170 It's your good idea. 131 00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:22,127 It's what you do at Christmas, it's not what I do. 132 00:08:22,133 --> 00:08:24,303 Me and Mum just usually chill after opening the presents 133 00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:26,300 and watch Star Wars or something. 134 00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:28,970 - Well, me and your dad normally go to the shelter. 135 00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:31,767 - I'm not coming, Bianca. 136 00:08:31,767 --> 00:08:33,867 - Then the least you can do is get yourself clean and tidy 137 00:08:33,867 --> 00:08:35,367 for dinner this afternoon. 138 00:08:36,867 --> 00:08:38,597 And for your information, 139 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,070 I hate Star Wars. 140 00:08:45,667 --> 00:08:47,067 (door slamming shut) 141 00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:49,467 (soft music) 142 00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:02,530 (car door slamming shut) 143 00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:07,970 (soft Christmas music) 144 00:09:17,567 --> 00:09:18,927 (grunting) 145 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,133 (laughing) 146 00:09:20,133 --> 00:09:21,973 - Ohhhh, you're cheating. 147 00:09:21,967 --> 00:09:24,067 - It's snap, how can you cheat? 148 00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:25,067 Come on, get 'em off! 149 00:09:26,467 --> 00:09:30,297 (Dan mimicking soul crooning) 150 00:09:31,233 --> 00:09:34,303 (laughing) 151 00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:35,130 Come on. 152 00:09:38,767 --> 00:09:39,597 - Aow! 153 00:09:41,233 --> 00:09:43,073 Your winning streak is over. 154 00:09:43,067 --> 00:09:44,467 - I think you'll find you're the one 155 00:09:44,467 --> 00:09:46,267 who's streaking, my love. 156 00:09:46,267 --> 00:09:48,567 - Well, what are you taking off next? 157 00:09:48,567 --> 00:09:49,597 - Calm down! 158 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,830 (laughing) 159 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:56,330 (grunting) 160 00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:57,873 (laughing) 161 00:09:57,867 --> 00:09:59,067 Oh, no! 162 00:09:59,067 --> 00:10:00,127 - Get 'em off! 163 00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:00,973 - Oh, God! 164 00:10:02,367 --> 00:10:03,197 (groaning) 165 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,230 - Ooh, ooh, ooh! 166 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:07,030 Ooh, yeah! 167 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:11,133 (Dan and Lisa laughing) 168 00:10:11,133 --> 00:10:12,133 - Hi, kids. 169 00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:13,473 (Dan and Lisa gasping) 170 00:10:13,467 --> 00:10:15,467 - Are we decent? 171 00:10:15,467 --> 00:10:16,297 Ooh! 172 00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:21,670 Nowt we've not seen before. 173 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,027 - [Lisa] I'm mortified, Dan. 174 00:10:28,033 --> 00:10:28,973 They saw the lot. 175 00:10:28,967 --> 00:10:30,167 - They've seen worse. 176 00:10:30,167 --> 00:10:32,767 - Not where I'm concerned, they haven't. 177 00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:35,367 Anyway, what are they doing here now? 178 00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:36,597 I said three! 179 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,470 - Well, how the hell should I know? 180 00:10:38,467 --> 00:10:39,627 - That was your mother's doing. 181 00:10:39,633 --> 00:10:41,203 I tried to tell her to wait. 182 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,430 Don't know what's up with her, she's in a foul mood. 183 00:10:43,433 --> 00:10:47,703 - Who's in a foul mood? - Oh, God. 184 00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:48,670 - I could just do with a lager, that's all. 185 00:10:48,667 --> 00:10:50,567 Not against the law, is it? 186 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,697 - [Dan And Lisa] Fridge. 187 00:10:58,067 --> 00:10:59,227 - What the frig is that? 188 00:11:01,833 --> 00:11:03,173 - What do you think it is? 189 00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:05,067 - That's a leg of lamb, is that. 190 00:11:05,067 --> 00:11:07,067 - Well done, Mother, nicely observed. 191 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,397 - No turkey? 192 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,730 You can't have Christmas without turkey. 193 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,370 - Do me a favor, Mum, and don't mention the T-word. 194 00:11:16,367 --> 00:11:19,067 Lisa said she'd never be able to cook one quite like Sue can 195 00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:20,827 and she didn't want to make a balls-up of it, 196 00:11:20,833 --> 00:11:22,533 so we've got some lamb. 197 00:11:22,533 --> 00:11:24,073 - I could have done it. 198 00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:27,067 - Look, she's upset about her mum and dad as it is. 199 00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:29,827 Can you not just do me a favor and keep a sock in it? 200 00:11:29,833 --> 00:11:30,803 For me? 201 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:32,070 Just for today. 202 00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:32,897 Hm? 203 00:11:34,433 --> 00:11:36,833 (soft music) 204 00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:41,567 (doorbell ringing) 205 00:11:46,733 --> 00:11:48,103 - Hey, Gary. - Come in. 206 00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:49,930 Everything OK? 207 00:11:49,933 --> 00:11:51,073 - Yeah, great, thanks. 208 00:11:52,433 --> 00:11:53,233 Wow! 209 00:11:54,633 --> 00:11:55,433 Bianca. 210 00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:59,473 And I'm still invited for Christmas dinner? 211 00:11:59,467 --> 00:12:03,127 - Yeah, why wouldn't you be? - I've just seen Bianca. 212 00:12:03,133 --> 00:12:04,773 She was crying. 213 00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:05,627 - Crying? - Mm. 214 00:12:08,867 --> 00:12:13,067 - She wanted me to go to this stupid homeless shelter thing. 215 00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:13,927 - Yeah? 216 00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:15,403 Doesn't sound that stupid to me. 217 00:12:16,533 --> 00:12:17,473 - It's what she used to do with Dad 218 00:12:17,467 --> 00:12:18,927 and he's not here, is he? 219 00:12:18,933 --> 00:12:21,233 - But it's because he's not here that she still wants to go. 220 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,470 Just try and see it from her point of view. 221 00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:29,130 You know, when, 222 00:12:29,133 --> 00:12:31,703 when you've lost someone, Christmas, it's, 223 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,130 it's difficult. 224 00:12:35,133 --> 00:12:36,073 - Yeah. - Mm. 225 00:12:36,067 --> 00:12:36,897 - I know. 226 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,070 Did you see Cassie and Jake? 227 00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:43,133 - Yeah, I took them out for tea last night. 228 00:12:44,267 --> 00:12:45,597 And then I had to drop them off at nine 229 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:49,070 and then I spent the night in a Travelodge. 230 00:12:49,933 --> 00:12:51,073 - Grim. 231 00:12:51,067 --> 00:12:52,067 - It was really grim. 232 00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:54,673 None of this lot for me this morning, 233 00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:58,567 just a an empty room and an empty M6. 234 00:13:00,467 --> 00:13:02,767 She's doing her best for you, Gary. 235 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:05,600 You're a lucky lad. 236 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,870 - There you go. - Thank you. 237 00:13:10,867 --> 00:13:14,297 That really is very good of you to help me out like this. 238 00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:18,130 - Oh, it's really no bother. - So, 239 00:13:18,133 --> 00:13:20,533 you doing something nice? 240 00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:23,103 - [Bianca] Oh, yes, I'm cooking for Chris and Gary. 241 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:26,570 - How was this morning, 242 00:13:27,667 --> 00:13:29,727 without Jim? 243 00:13:31,667 --> 00:13:33,427 - I got him a present. 244 00:13:33,433 --> 00:13:35,803 I wrapped up a little box all nicely. 245 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,230 Nothing in it. 246 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,833 It's symbolic, really. 247 00:13:40,967 --> 00:13:45,497 - You are coping admirably, you do realize that, don't you? 248 00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:48,600 - Thank you. 249 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:51,070 * We wish you a merry Christmas * 250 00:13:51,067 --> 00:13:53,797 * We wish you a merry Christmas * 251 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,870 * And a happy new year 252 00:13:56,867 --> 00:13:57,697 (laughing) 253 00:13:57,700 --> 00:13:59,730 - I come bearing gifts. 254 00:13:59,733 --> 00:14:02,573 - She's like one of the three kings, isn't she? 255 00:14:04,233 --> 00:14:06,073 Not literally. 256 00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:10,727 I meant, if they were queens, obviously. 257 00:14:10,733 --> 00:14:11,773 Have you two met? 258 00:14:13,167 --> 00:14:15,697 - No, I don't believe I've had the pleasure, no. 259 00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:18,300 - Kate, Roger, Roger, Kate. 260 00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:19,970 - Hello! - I've heard only 261 00:14:19,967 --> 00:14:21,567 good things, Reverend. 262 00:14:21,567 --> 00:14:23,327 I believe you're the new judge of the annual 263 00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:25,573 Mushroom Soup Competition at Ashley Hall. 264 00:14:25,567 --> 00:14:27,067 - Yes, indeed I am, yes. 265 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:30,767 - I came a very close second a couple of years back. 266 00:14:30,767 --> 00:14:34,497 I should enter again now I know who I need to impress. 267 00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,500 (laughing) 268 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,070 - [Roger] Naughty! 269 00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:42,730 - Oh! 270 00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:46,197 (gasping) 271 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,400 Hello. 272 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,170 - We thought you could use some help. 273 00:14:49,167 --> 00:14:50,767 - Sorry for being a dick. 274 00:14:50,767 --> 00:14:54,397 - Gary, you can't say dick in front of a clergyman! 275 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,370 - It's no bother, I've heard far worse. 276 00:14:58,633 --> 00:15:00,403 - [Gary] I'll hand these mince pies out. 277 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,170 (Bianca giggling) 278 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:05,670 - What a helpful boy. 279 00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:07,197 Such a lovely lad. 280 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,800 - Boys of that age usually are. 281 00:15:10,933 --> 00:15:12,473 Er, Helpful, I mean. 282 00:15:12,467 --> 00:15:15,127 Boys of that age are usually quite helpful. 283 00:15:15,133 --> 00:15:16,303 Yes. 284 00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:18,070 I'll be I'll be over there. 285 00:15:19,733 --> 00:15:22,203 (Bianca giggling) 286 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,070 (lips smacking) 287 00:15:23,067 --> 00:15:23,967 - Mm! 288 00:15:23,967 --> 00:15:24,897 Thank you for bringing him. 289 00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:26,130 - Yeah, we had a little chat. 290 00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:28,633 He's just a young lad missing his dad. 291 00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:32,227 - Today is going to be tough for both of us, cock, 292 00:15:32,233 --> 00:15:36,573 but if we stick together, we'll get through this, I promise. 293 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,927 Come on, give me a hand with all these. 294 00:15:41,633 --> 00:15:44,633 (coughing) 295 00:15:44,633 --> 00:15:48,133 * Where troubles melt like lemon drops * 296 00:15:48,133 --> 00:15:50,973 * Away above the chimney tops 297 00:15:50,967 --> 00:15:55,967 * Is where you'll find me 298 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:03,667 * Somewhere over the rainbow 299 00:16:04,933 --> 00:16:09,933 * Bluebirds fly 300 00:16:10,967 --> 00:16:14,697 * Birds fly over the rainbow 301 00:16:20,633 --> 00:16:24,073 - Are you absolutely sure that's enough for the four of us? 302 00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,527 - It's plenty, Pauline. 303 00:16:25,533 --> 00:16:28,303 - I've seen more meat on a sparrow's kneecap. 304 00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,970 - You'll be all right once you've finished your roasties, 305 00:16:30,967 --> 00:16:33,327 and this, of course. 306 00:16:39,633 --> 00:16:42,503 - You have put sponge fingers in, haven't you? 307 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:46,500 - Yes, I've put sponge fingers in, Pauline, is that OK? 308 00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:47,300 - That's fine. 309 00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:51,403 It's that fruit cocktail stuff I can't stand. 310 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,530 I mean, who in their right mind eats glace cherries? 311 00:16:53,533 --> 00:16:56,303 And don't get me wrong, but how pointless are pears? 312 00:17:08,667 --> 00:17:09,867 Ooh, it's cold out h-- 313 00:17:09,867 --> 00:17:11,667 (door slamming) 314 00:17:11,667 --> 00:17:13,827 (snoring) 315 00:17:15,533 --> 00:17:16,503 - Kitchen, now! 316 00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:25,570 Well, you are going to have to say something. 317 00:17:25,567 --> 00:17:26,497 - Like what? 318 00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:27,930 - I don't know. 319 00:17:27,933 --> 00:17:30,473 But I'm not having me Christmas Day ruined by your mother. 320 00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:31,927 - It's me Christmas Day, an' all, 321 00:17:31,933 --> 00:17:34,303 and I had mine ruined last year by your mother! 322 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:35,770 - 12 months have passed 323 00:17:35,767 --> 00:17:37,827 and you're still going on about Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? 324 00:17:37,833 --> 00:17:39,133 - I'm not going on about it. 325 00:17:39,133 --> 00:17:41,333 I haven't mentioned it for a bastard year! 326 00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:42,903 - You had to bring it up, didn't you? 327 00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,130 You had to use dirty tactics. 328 00:17:44,133 --> 00:17:45,573 It's bad enough me mum and dad are in Spain 329 00:17:45,567 --> 00:17:47,727 without you having to remind me every five minutes. 330 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,403 - I haven't mentioned it once! 331 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,700 - Well, you are going to have to talk to her. 332 00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:52,930 We've not even eaten yet. 333 00:17:52,933 --> 00:17:53,873 Imagine what she's going to be like 334 00:17:53,867 --> 00:17:55,297 when I bring the Stilton out? 335 00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:57,900 I'm not being funny, Lisa, but who eats cheese? 336 00:17:57,900 --> 00:18:00,700 I eat cheese, Pauline, Gromit eats cheese, Pauline. 337 00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:03,300 Every bugger eats cheese, Pauline! 338 00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:06,400 (door slamming shut) 339 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,470 Now look what you've done, you idiot! 340 00:18:15,233 --> 00:18:20,133 * Oh, little town of Bethlehem 341 00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:25,133 * How still we see thee lie 342 00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:27,203 * Above thy deep and dreamless sleep * 343 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,400 - Bianca? 344 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,070 Kate's very kindly left us these. 345 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:32,197 She said we can take them back and have them for afters. 346 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,200 Looked like she was in a bit of a hurry, actually. 347 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,930 - It's a shame she had to go to Preston. 348 00:18:36,933 --> 00:18:38,803 I could offer her a sweet sherry at the vicarage 349 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,130 if she was stuck for company. 350 00:18:41,133 --> 00:18:42,303 - She's gone to Preston? 351 00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:43,970 - Mm, Christmas dinner with Auntie Dee. 352 00:18:43,967 --> 00:18:45,327 - She told me she was having Christmas dinner 353 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,573 with her Uncle Patrick in Stalybridge. 354 00:18:47,567 --> 00:18:49,497 - I don't remember his name but she said 355 00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:52,470 she's going to Timperley to see an old band mate. 356 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,630 [Bianca And Roger] Band mate? 357 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,173 - Sounds like bullshit to me. 358 00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:59,767 - Gary, you can't say bullshit in front of a clergyman. 359 00:18:59,767 --> 00:19:03,067 Look, I know she's a bit of a fruit loop, 360 00:19:03,067 --> 00:19:05,467 but I don't think she's got four personalities. 361 00:19:05,467 --> 00:19:07,397 - But Gary's right, she's making it up. 362 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,600 - What do you mean? 363 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:09,730 - It's what people do, 364 00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:11,373 they tell people they're off to an orgy-- 365 00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:12,897 - Chris! 366 00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:15,870 - When really they are just having a ready meal for one. 367 00:19:15,867 --> 00:19:18,597 - He's right, me Auntie Freda used to say she was going 368 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:22,770 round for Christmas dinner with an old Earl from Chester. 369 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,900 Biggest load of bullshit ever. 370 00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:31,433 (Bianca laughing nervously) 371 00:19:31,433 --> 00:19:33,133 - Well, we can't have this, she'll have to come to us. 372 00:19:33,133 --> 00:19:34,933 Someone will have to go and get her. 373 00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:38,627 * How silently, how silently 374 00:19:38,633 --> 00:19:41,803 * The wondrous gift is given 375 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,970 (ominous music) 376 00:19:43,967 --> 00:19:46,727 (water dripping) 377 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,200 (soft music) 378 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,370 (sighing) 379 00:19:57,533 --> 00:20:01,303 (door creaking open) 380 00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,300 - I'm sorry. 381 00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:06,970 - You don't need to be sorry, love. 382 00:20:06,967 --> 00:20:08,927 - I'm a bit touchy today. 383 00:20:08,933 --> 00:20:11,203 I'm really missing me mum and dad. 384 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,300 - I know you are, kid. 385 00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:16,730 - And I'm a bit pissed off with Dan, actually. 386 00:20:16,733 --> 00:20:17,973 - Why, what's he done? 387 00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:21,067 - Well, it's what he's not done, more like. 388 00:20:21,067 --> 00:20:24,427 We said we weren't going to get each other anything special. 389 00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:25,873 Like you do, you know? 390 00:20:25,867 --> 00:20:27,127 - Yeah. 391 00:20:27,133 --> 00:20:28,573 I do. 392 00:20:28,567 --> 00:20:32,827 - Well, I got him a watch and he got me these. 393 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,500 - What the frig are them? 394 00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:40,100 - Well, he's never gone overboard, has he, our Dan? 395 00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:42,030 The last thing I expect on Christmas morning 396 00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:43,733 is a nice necklace or some earrings. 397 00:20:43,733 --> 00:20:45,973 - Like his father, bloody useless. 398 00:20:47,667 --> 00:20:49,467 - He's not got you a prezzie, has he? 399 00:20:50,633 --> 00:20:51,973 - It's not just that, Lisa. 400 00:20:53,967 --> 00:20:55,197 That's not all he's done. 401 00:20:56,867 --> 00:20:59,027 - Ooh, this sounds ominous! 402 00:20:59,033 --> 00:21:00,233 - [Lisa] He's not got her a prezzie. 403 00:21:00,233 --> 00:21:01,603 - Oh, you're joking? 404 00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:04,370 - Well, don't worry, love, 405 00:21:04,367 --> 00:21:05,867 we've got a couple of lovely presents for you to open 406 00:21:05,867 --> 00:21:07,597 round the table later, haven't we? 407 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,130 - Yes, Mum, course we have. 408 00:21:09,133 --> 00:21:10,833 - You're good kids, you two. 409 00:21:10,833 --> 00:21:13,473 - I know we are, and it's Christmas Day. 410 00:21:13,467 --> 00:21:16,597 Isn't it about time we all started enjoying ourselves? 411 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,500 - Couple of snowballs, some games? 412 00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:19,300 - Too right! 413 00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:20,130 Come on. 414 00:21:21,667 --> 00:21:24,067 (soft music) 415 00:21:28,433 --> 00:21:31,203 (water dripping) 416 00:21:33,267 --> 00:21:34,897 - Oh, my God! 417 00:21:34,900 --> 00:21:36,100 - Shit, the bath! 418 00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:37,070 I left the bath-- 419 00:21:37,067 --> 00:21:38,067 - Run up and turn it off. 420 00:21:39,067 --> 00:21:40,297 (loud explosion) 421 00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:43,900 (Bianca screaming) 422 00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:45,430 - Oh! - Oh, bugger. 423 00:21:50,433 --> 00:21:53,833 (upbeat Christmas music) 424 00:22:01,067 --> 00:22:03,327 (laughing) 425 00:22:07,533 --> 00:22:09,603 It's just mess, Bianca. 426 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,670 We can always clear away mess. 427 00:22:11,667 --> 00:22:13,427 - But it smells so horrible. 428 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,500 Everything's ruined. - The food isn't, though. 429 00:22:19,833 --> 00:22:23,503 - Oh, love, are you OK? 430 00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:25,300 - Right, I'm going to go over and see Dan, 431 00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:26,230 see if he can help. 432 00:22:26,233 --> 00:22:28,703 - What on earth has happened? 433 00:22:28,700 --> 00:22:29,800 - It's all me fault. 434 00:22:34,300 --> 00:22:35,870 - Somebody should get her a drink. 435 00:22:35,867 --> 00:22:37,397 - Good idea. 436 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:38,600 You know, Bianca, 437 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,100 I think it might be best if I head back home. 438 00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:42,670 You've got enough on your plate, 439 00:22:42,667 --> 00:22:45,067 you don't need a stray cat like me wandering in. 440 00:22:45,067 --> 00:22:47,797 - Oh, no, I want you to stay. 441 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:51,070 I mean, the food's fine and we've got plenty. 442 00:22:51,067 --> 00:22:53,197 You can't be on your own, Kate. 443 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:54,270 Roger was right, I'd love a drink. 444 00:22:54,267 --> 00:22:55,627 We should all have a drink. 445 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:57,470 - Oh, go on, then! 446 00:22:58,400 --> 00:22:59,200 You twisted me arm. 447 00:23:00,467 --> 00:23:01,297 Thanks very much. 448 00:23:04,967 --> 00:23:07,067 - Yeah. - Right foot red. 449 00:23:07,067 --> 00:23:08,897 (grunting) 450 00:23:08,900 --> 00:23:10,570 Left hand, yellow. 451 00:23:10,567 --> 00:23:13,897 (grunting and laughing) 452 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,530 Right hand, green. 453 00:23:17,533 --> 00:23:18,473 (laughing) 454 00:23:18,467 --> 00:23:20,897 - Are you taking the piss? 455 00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:23,900 - Why would I be taking the piss? 456 00:23:23,900 --> 00:23:24,800 - Just try, Mum. 457 00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:27,130 - You're taking the piss now, an' all. 458 00:23:27,133 --> 00:23:29,603 - Oh, go on, Pauline! - Hello! 459 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,870 - Oh, hello, love, come in. 460 00:23:33,533 --> 00:23:36,203 - Oh, sorry to disturb you. 461 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:39,270 Bianca's had a bit of a flood and I know it's really cheeky 462 00:23:39,267 --> 00:23:42,297 but we were wondering if you could take a look, Dan. 463 00:23:42,300 --> 00:23:43,570 - But it's Christmas Day! 464 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:45,700 - She's distraught. 465 00:23:45,700 --> 00:23:47,670 - Oh, of course he will. 466 00:23:47,667 --> 00:23:48,497 - Thank you. 467 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:50,430 Really appreciate it. 468 00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:53,630 - Come on, grab your tools. 469 00:23:56,933 --> 00:23:58,203 - No, no, no! 470 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,500 You should never take a turkey out mid-roast. 471 00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:01,730 - But I'm basting. 472 00:24:01,733 --> 00:24:03,833 - Yeah but you do that from in there. 473 00:24:03,833 --> 00:24:05,573 All that heat you've lost, well, you'll never get it back. 474 00:24:05,567 --> 00:24:07,797 - But I can't get to the other side. 475 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,700 - Yes, she'll burn her hands. 476 00:24:09,700 --> 00:24:11,070 - [Kate] Well, have you not got a baster? 477 00:24:11,067 --> 00:24:12,227 - [Bianca] No. 478 00:24:12,233 --> 00:24:15,573 - Oh, what a shame, I've got three at home. 479 00:24:15,567 --> 00:24:16,797 - I've got two, actually. 480 00:24:18,067 --> 00:24:18,867 - Have you? 481 00:24:20,233 --> 00:24:22,603 - Yeah, I could have brought one round as a spare. 482 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:23,670 - Well, I didn't think. 483 00:24:23,667 --> 00:24:26,667 So could I. 484 00:24:26,667 --> 00:24:29,467 Fancy us pair having more than one baster. 485 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,430 We're kindred spirits, we are. 486 00:24:38,900 --> 00:24:40,430 - Cheers. - Good health. 487 00:24:46,333 --> 00:24:50,573 - Oh, Dan, I'm so sorry, this is all you need. 488 00:24:50,567 --> 00:24:52,897 - Don't be sorry, it's not your fault. 489 00:24:52,900 --> 00:24:55,170 It's more than a bit of a mess, that lot. 490 00:24:55,167 --> 00:24:58,067 - So, erm, what about your dinner? 491 00:24:58,067 --> 00:25:00,897 - Oh, don't worry, everything's safe in there. 492 00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:02,830 - What's she doing here? 493 00:25:02,833 --> 00:25:04,603 - Bianca invited me. 494 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:05,730 She's very kind. 495 00:25:05,733 --> 00:25:07,203 - Oh, I don't know about that. 496 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,870 What's kind about inviting someone to eat at a bomb site? 497 00:25:10,867 --> 00:25:13,067 - You weren't to know this was going to happen. 498 00:25:13,067 --> 00:25:14,367 - Hi, Roger! 499 00:25:14,367 --> 00:25:15,667 - Hello. 500 00:25:15,667 --> 00:25:16,697 - It's bad, isn't it? 501 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:19,100 - It's nothing that we can't fix 502 00:25:19,100 --> 00:25:20,630 with a bit of plaster and paint. 503 00:25:20,633 --> 00:25:23,233 But you've got no chance today. 504 00:25:24,767 --> 00:25:26,097 - Please don't get upset. 505 00:25:26,100 --> 00:25:29,530 - Sorry! - Oh, Bianca, love, don't cry. 506 00:25:29,533 --> 00:25:31,603 - I just wanted it to be perfect. 507 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,830 - Listen, why don't you all eat with us? 508 00:25:35,833 --> 00:25:38,903 We've got a big enough table and Bianca's cooked all this. 509 00:25:39,767 --> 00:25:41,127 What do you reckon, eh? 510 00:25:41,133 --> 00:25:43,703 (soft snoring) 511 00:25:48,633 --> 00:25:49,733 Right, you two. 512 00:25:49,733 --> 00:25:50,933 - You're needed. 513 00:25:50,933 --> 00:25:52,473 Everyone's coming over here for dinner. 514 00:25:52,467 --> 00:25:55,497 - You'll like this, Pauline, we're going to have turkey. 515 00:25:55,500 --> 00:25:58,070 - You should see the size of it, Mum, it's massive. 516 00:25:58,067 --> 00:25:59,127 - Nowt she can't handle, I'm sure, 517 00:25:59,133 --> 00:26:01,133 living with the likes of me. 518 00:26:01,133 --> 00:26:02,633 (laughing) 519 00:26:02,633 --> 00:26:06,773 - When are you going to know when to fucking stop? 520 00:26:06,767 --> 00:26:08,527 Do you know something, Charlie Johnson? 521 00:26:08,533 --> 00:26:09,873 You're not funny. 522 00:26:09,867 --> 00:26:11,127 And shall I tell you something else? 523 00:26:11,133 --> 00:26:12,773 You're not big, neither! 524 00:26:12,767 --> 00:26:14,827 And you're not cool and you're not clever 525 00:26:14,833 --> 00:26:16,403 and you're not smart. 526 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,500 You're a waste of space, and a snake, 527 00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:21,970 and I've had it up to here with you today! 528 00:26:21,967 --> 00:26:23,667 Totally up to here! 529 00:26:29,433 --> 00:26:30,773 - Pauline! - Oh. 530 00:26:38,100 --> 00:26:42,730 Look I found a card from Babs. 531 00:26:42,733 --> 00:26:43,973 - What? 532 00:26:43,967 --> 00:26:45,897 - She sent him a card, to my house, 533 00:26:45,900 --> 00:26:47,400 and he's hidden it, hasn't he? 534 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:48,870 Under our bed. 535 00:26:48,867 --> 00:26:50,127 - What a bastard! 536 00:26:50,133 --> 00:26:51,373 I'll throttle him when I get me hands on him. 537 00:26:51,367 --> 00:26:52,627 - I didn't mean to ruin your day. 538 00:26:52,633 --> 00:26:54,233 I am so sorry, Lisa. 539 00:26:54,233 --> 00:26:57,073 - Hey, you haven't ruined anything. 540 00:26:57,067 --> 00:26:58,967 You just need to talk to him. 541 00:26:58,967 --> 00:27:01,067 You need to know what's going on. 542 00:27:01,067 --> 00:27:04,497 Come on, it's freezing. 543 00:27:04,500 --> 00:27:05,600 And there's a turkey over there 544 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,270 with your name on it, remember. 545 00:27:07,267 --> 00:27:08,267 (Pauline laughing) 546 00:27:08,267 --> 00:27:09,797 - Oh, God! - Come on. 547 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,470 (TV chattering) 548 00:27:17,100 --> 00:27:19,600 - Maybe this is how it will always be, son. 549 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:22,100 Me never able to do anything right ever again. 550 00:27:23,533 --> 00:27:25,803 It's the consequences of making bad choices, 551 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:27,270 if we're going to get technical. 552 00:27:28,233 --> 00:27:29,133 - I thought she'd forgiven you. 553 00:27:29,133 --> 00:27:30,173 - So did I, son. 554 00:27:31,667 --> 00:27:34,527 - She's always been a bit moody on Christmas morning. 555 00:27:34,533 --> 00:27:36,603 It's all that lager from the night before. 556 00:27:38,067 --> 00:27:41,067 - It's Christmas afternoon, Son, not Christmas morning. 557 00:27:41,067 --> 00:27:41,867 - Mm. 558 00:27:43,300 --> 00:27:45,100 Hey, do you remember when she had too many snakebites 559 00:27:45,100 --> 00:27:46,770 and ended up in the wrong garden? 560 00:27:47,767 --> 00:27:51,067 - Where Mr. Shaw found her. 561 00:27:51,067 --> 00:27:53,197 - With Uncle Ronnie's vest on her head. 562 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:55,230 (laughing) 563 00:27:55,233 --> 00:27:57,803 You told me she'd run off with Uncle Ronnie that night. 564 00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,070 Cried meself to sleep. 565 00:28:00,300 --> 00:28:02,600 - Proper little mummy's boy, you were. 566 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,270 You needed something to toughen you up, 567 00:28:04,267 --> 00:28:06,827 something to stop you passing through the other side. 568 00:28:06,833 --> 00:28:09,073 - Loving your mum doesn't make you gay, Dad. 569 00:28:10,067 --> 00:28:11,527 - I know, Son. 570 00:28:11,533 --> 00:28:15,173 Sometimes I said stupid things just to make you less clingy. 571 00:28:15,167 --> 00:28:16,827 I wanted you to look up to me 572 00:28:16,833 --> 00:28:18,803 like you looked up to her all the time. 573 00:28:20,100 --> 00:28:21,800 - I always looked up to you, Dad. 574 00:28:22,667 --> 00:28:25,327 Don't worry about that. 575 00:28:25,333 --> 00:28:27,403 Even if I was a mummy's boy. 576 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,230 (Charlie sighing) 577 00:28:31,700 --> 00:28:34,130 (soft music) 578 00:28:39,967 --> 00:28:41,467 - Right, love, are you ready to roll? 579 00:28:41,467 --> 00:28:43,067 - Yes! 580 00:28:43,067 --> 00:28:44,697 You really are very kind, letting us all come round. 581 00:28:46,533 --> 00:28:48,073 Gary! 582 00:28:48,067 --> 00:28:51,797 * Santa, Santa baby 583 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:53,330 * Please won't you hurry up tonight * 584 00:28:53,333 --> 00:28:56,673 (Chris mumbling) 585 00:28:56,667 --> 00:28:58,067 - Hey, ooh, lovely. 586 00:28:58,067 --> 00:28:59,427 Here's the meat. - It's you, running through. 587 00:28:59,433 --> 00:29:00,403 - Be nice! 588 00:29:01,267 --> 00:29:03,067 - Look, Dad, be ready, be ready. 589 00:29:03,067 --> 00:29:05,697 - All right, all right. 590 00:29:05,700 --> 00:29:08,700 - Charlie, you've had a few. - Yeah. 591 00:29:10,500 --> 00:29:11,570 - Come on! 592 00:29:11,567 --> 00:29:13,267 You want to quicken up. 593 00:29:14,967 --> 00:29:16,397 * Santa, Santa, Santa baby 594 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:17,600 - Here, here. - Dad, wandering, 595 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:18,430 wandering. 596 00:29:20,100 --> 00:29:23,870 * So when I hear those sleigh bells * 597 00:29:23,867 --> 00:29:28,867 * I wanna see you under the mistletoe * 598 00:29:30,933 --> 00:29:32,903 * He's checkin' who's nice 599 00:29:32,900 --> 00:29:37,770 * Santa, my friend, you can skip me house tonight * 600 00:29:37,767 --> 00:29:42,467 * Been a good boy this year, no worries there * 601 00:29:42,467 --> 00:29:45,097 * It's just that ever since you came along * 602 00:29:45,100 --> 00:29:47,370 * Ever since you came along 603 00:29:47,367 --> 00:29:50,097 * Our whole world's been upside down * 604 00:29:50,100 --> 00:29:52,300 * Like a snowball in the snow 605 00:29:52,300 --> 00:29:53,500 - I don't want any of us to fall out, 606 00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:54,830 not at Christmas. 607 00:29:54,833 --> 00:29:56,173 - [Lisa] Me, neither. 608 00:29:56,167 --> 00:29:57,297 - I know it's been hard for you today 609 00:29:57,300 --> 00:29:59,070 with your mum and dad not here. 610 00:29:59,067 --> 00:30:01,327 - Look, I'm a big girl, I can cope. 611 00:30:01,333 --> 00:30:03,873 - I just wish me mum would stop picking on me dad. 612 00:30:05,233 --> 00:30:06,873 - She found a card. 613 00:30:06,867 --> 00:30:07,727 From Babs. 614 00:30:08,633 --> 00:30:09,933 - What? 615 00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:11,973 - She's upset. 616 00:30:11,967 --> 00:30:12,797 - I'll bloody kill him! 617 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:13,630 - Leave it, Dan. 618 00:30:13,633 --> 00:30:15,073 Not today. 619 00:30:15,067 --> 00:30:17,097 Let them sort out themselves. 620 00:30:18,767 --> 00:30:21,667 - [Charlie] Remember this one down the Locarno? 621 00:30:21,667 --> 00:30:23,127 - How could I forget it? 622 00:30:23,133 --> 00:30:25,103 - Smooch with me, Pauline. 623 00:30:25,100 --> 00:30:29,000 - Look, if all these people weren't here right now, 624 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:32,500 today would be a very different story, pal. 625 00:30:32,500 --> 00:30:34,570 But it's Christmas and I didn't want to ruin it 626 00:30:34,567 --> 00:30:36,327 for our Dan and Lisa. 627 00:30:36,333 --> 00:30:38,673 But I can't do this any more, 628 00:30:38,667 --> 00:30:40,997 I can't take any more of your bullshit. 629 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:41,970 We're finished. 630 00:30:42,933 --> 00:30:45,033 - What? - It's over! 631 00:30:46,467 --> 00:30:47,427 - [Dan] Mum? 632 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:50,500 - Did you not see that? 633 00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:52,500 I only asked her for a dance. 634 00:30:52,500 --> 00:30:54,570 - She found the card, you idiot! 635 00:30:54,567 --> 00:30:55,497 From Babs. 636 00:30:57,733 --> 00:30:58,933 - Oh, bugger. 637 00:30:58,933 --> 00:31:01,073 - After everything you said. 638 00:31:01,067 --> 00:31:04,097 You lied to me mum and you lied to me before. 639 00:31:04,100 --> 00:31:05,330 You're full of shit! 640 00:31:05,333 --> 00:31:07,933 - No, son, it came in the post the other day. 641 00:31:07,933 --> 00:31:09,833 I didn't know anything about it. 642 00:31:09,833 --> 00:31:12,133 I mean, I had to hide it. 643 00:31:12,133 --> 00:31:15,273 What else could I do with your mum there? 644 00:31:15,267 --> 00:31:17,497 I didn't want to hurt her. 645 00:31:17,500 --> 00:31:18,500 I love her, Lisa. 646 00:31:19,667 --> 00:31:22,467 And I love you two, you're my family. 647 00:31:23,633 --> 00:31:25,503 I'll not fuck it up again, I promise. 648 00:31:28,100 --> 00:31:29,970 - Go and sort it, then. 649 00:31:29,967 --> 00:31:30,797 - Aye. 650 00:32:00,567 --> 00:32:01,667 You were in the shower. 651 00:32:02,700 --> 00:32:04,400 I'd no idea who it was from. 652 00:32:05,833 --> 00:32:10,373 I opened it, saw the name, and shoved it under the bed 653 00:32:10,367 --> 00:32:12,427 when I heard the water stop running. 654 00:32:13,867 --> 00:32:16,827 - I told you, I can't do any more of your bullshit. 655 00:32:16,833 --> 00:32:18,103 - I promise you, Pauline. 656 00:32:19,767 --> 00:32:22,967 You're the one for me, you know you are. 657 00:32:22,967 --> 00:32:24,797 - But I don't know, Charlie. 658 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,970 - I don't want her. 659 00:32:28,967 --> 00:32:29,867 I want you. 660 00:32:49,300 --> 00:32:50,500 Ooh! 661 00:32:50,500 --> 00:32:52,830 - What do you think you're doing? 662 00:32:55,700 --> 00:32:57,270 What's that? 663 00:32:57,267 --> 00:32:58,767 - You were looking in the wrong place, you dozy cow. 664 00:32:58,767 --> 00:33:00,367 This was under the kitchen sink. 665 00:33:01,867 --> 00:33:04,267 (soft music) 666 00:33:09,533 --> 00:33:10,373 Open it. 667 00:33:25,700 --> 00:33:27,230 - Oh. 668 00:33:27,233 --> 00:33:28,203 - Marry me, Pauline. 669 00:33:31,067 --> 00:33:32,067 For keeps this time. 670 00:33:36,700 --> 00:33:39,130 (soft music) 671 00:33:41,133 --> 00:33:43,633 (laughing) 672 00:33:43,633 --> 00:33:45,073 - Anyone fancy carving? 673 00:33:45,067 --> 00:33:46,227 - I will. 674 00:33:46,233 --> 00:33:49,173 - No, no, you're all right, it's a man's job. 675 00:33:49,167 --> 00:33:50,427 - Excuse me! 676 00:33:50,433 --> 00:33:52,403 - Before you start burning your bra, 677 00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:53,670 let's have a vote on it. 678 00:33:53,667 --> 00:33:54,497 - Yeah. 679 00:33:56,100 --> 00:33:58,800 Hands up if you think carving the turkey's a man's job. 680 00:34:00,367 --> 00:34:02,067 (Lisa gasping) 681 00:34:02,067 --> 00:34:04,267 (Dan laughing) 682 00:34:04,267 --> 00:34:05,097 - It's pathetic! 683 00:34:06,233 --> 00:34:09,073 - Ah, well, in that case, come here. 684 00:34:09,067 --> 00:34:10,867 - Well, go on, then, tuck in. 685 00:34:10,867 --> 00:34:13,267 (chattering) 686 00:34:17,100 --> 00:34:18,930 (clearing throat) 687 00:34:18,933 --> 00:34:20,903 - Oh, God, we forgot grace. 688 00:34:20,900 --> 00:34:21,830 - Who the frig's she? 689 00:34:21,833 --> 00:34:23,833 - Grace, Mother, prayers! 690 00:34:23,833 --> 00:34:25,403 - No, no, actually, no. 691 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,600 We can all do grace in a minute if that's what you want. 692 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,800 No, what I'd really like to do is to say 693 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,570 a few words, if I may. 694 00:34:32,567 --> 00:34:33,597 - Go ahead, mate. 695 00:34:34,767 --> 00:34:35,797 - Stand up, cock. 696 00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:37,300 - Oh, yes. 697 00:34:38,733 --> 00:34:43,403 Right, well, I'd just like to say that of all the places 698 00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:45,200 I have spent Christmas Day, 699 00:34:46,433 --> 00:34:48,473 and with all the people that I've spent it with, 700 00:34:48,467 --> 00:34:53,297 I have never felt more warmly welcomed than here. 701 00:34:54,267 --> 00:34:56,167 - Ah. - You're all a very 702 00:34:56,167 --> 00:34:59,297 special bunch of people. 703 00:34:59,300 --> 00:35:03,800 And so I would like to propose a toast, if I may. 704 00:35:05,700 --> 00:35:10,700 To Bianca, for helping me this morning. 705 00:35:11,533 --> 00:35:12,273 - Oh! - To Bianca! 706 00:35:14,500 --> 00:35:17,070 (chattering) 707 00:35:18,867 --> 00:35:23,267 - To Kate, for all you lovely mince pies. 708 00:35:24,667 --> 00:35:25,667 - To Kate. - To Kate. 709 00:35:25,667 --> 00:35:26,497 - Kate. 710 00:35:29,833 --> 00:35:31,573 - [Bianca] Go on, you can start. 711 00:35:31,567 --> 00:35:34,497 (chattering) 712 00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:36,730 - To Dan and Lisa, 713 00:35:38,333 --> 00:35:40,933 for letting us all come round here. 714 00:35:40,933 --> 00:35:43,403 - Dan and Lisa. - Dan and Lisa. 715 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:44,470 - Dan'n'Lisa. 716 00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:56,800 - Right, are we done, shall we eat, before me ribs snap? 717 00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:57,830 (laughing) 718 00:35:57,833 --> 00:36:00,673 (chattering) 719 00:36:00,667 --> 00:36:02,627 - Will you excuse me a minute? 720 00:36:02,633 --> 00:36:03,633 - Of course. 721 00:36:09,567 --> 00:36:10,397 - Are you all right, cock? 722 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:11,230 - It's fine. 723 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,570 It's just seeing everyone together, you know. 724 00:36:15,567 --> 00:36:16,597 - I know. 725 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:17,400 Yeah. 726 00:36:18,767 --> 00:36:20,367 Shall I leave you for a moment? 727 00:36:20,367 --> 00:36:21,197 - It's fine. 728 00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:25,070 - Well, you know where we are when you need us. 729 00:36:25,067 --> 00:36:27,667 - Please, will you, 730 00:36:27,667 --> 00:36:29,827 will you just stay with me for a minute, Bianca? 731 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,930 I don't know what I would have done without you today. 732 00:36:35,367 --> 00:36:37,897 - I don't know what I'd have done without you, either. 733 00:36:37,900 --> 00:36:39,070 - You are so special. 734 00:36:41,100 --> 00:36:42,830 - Come on, our dinner will be getting cold. 735 00:36:42,833 --> 00:36:45,573 - I don't care about Christmas dinner. 736 00:36:45,567 --> 00:36:46,727 - Well, you should. 737 00:36:46,733 --> 00:36:47,833 I made the stuffing from scratch. 738 00:36:47,833 --> 00:36:49,633 I even grew the sage. 739 00:36:49,633 --> 00:36:50,933 (chuckling) 740 00:36:50,933 --> 00:36:52,373 What? 741 00:36:52,367 --> 00:36:54,067 - You. 742 00:36:54,067 --> 00:36:55,367 - What about me? 743 00:36:58,467 --> 00:37:01,127 (lips smacking) 744 00:37:05,267 --> 00:37:06,097 - I love you. 745 00:37:08,333 --> 00:37:10,703 - No, you don't, cock. 746 00:37:10,700 --> 00:37:13,270 You're feeling lonely and it's Christmas 747 00:37:13,267 --> 00:37:15,067 and we've all had a bit too much wine. 748 00:37:15,067 --> 00:37:16,227 - It's not because I'm lonely 749 00:37:16,233 --> 00:37:18,073 and it's got nothing to do with Christmas. 750 00:37:20,900 --> 00:37:21,870 I love you. 751 00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:25,500 It's that simple. 752 00:37:25,500 --> 00:37:28,270 - Stop it, Chris. 753 00:37:28,267 --> 00:37:29,667 You're being silly. 754 00:37:29,667 --> 00:37:31,967 Come on, let's go back in. 755 00:37:31,967 --> 00:37:33,467 You're drunk. 756 00:37:33,467 --> 00:37:34,497 - Nah, I'm not drunk. 757 00:37:37,700 --> 00:37:40,870 I love it that you panic about wearing trainers. 758 00:37:42,067 --> 00:37:43,897 I love it when you call everyone Cock. 759 00:37:45,233 --> 00:37:47,073 Mm, really inappropriately. 760 00:37:47,067 --> 00:37:49,597 I love it that you think inviting the local vicar round 761 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:52,170 for a game of Twister is perfectly normal behavior. 762 00:37:53,833 --> 00:37:55,703 I love your smile. 763 00:37:59,833 --> 00:38:02,403 You've got such a beautiful smile, Bianca. 764 00:38:05,700 --> 00:38:07,130 And I love it when you cry 765 00:38:08,333 --> 00:38:10,503 because it just makes me want to look after you. 766 00:38:12,467 --> 00:38:14,397 And I love what you've done for that lad in there 767 00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:15,770 since his dad died. 768 00:38:18,633 --> 00:38:19,873 You're brilliant, Bianca. 769 00:38:21,967 --> 00:38:23,797 You're really bloody brilliant. 770 00:38:26,867 --> 00:38:28,967 Now I sound like an idiot spouting out rubbish, 771 00:38:28,967 --> 00:38:30,667 when all I want to do is kiss you. 772 00:38:34,367 --> 00:38:35,197 Can I kiss you? 773 00:38:37,867 --> 00:38:38,767 Properly kiss you? 774 00:38:43,833 --> 00:38:46,503 (lips smacking) 775 00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:50,197 - No one's ever said anything like that to me before. 776 00:38:51,500 --> 00:38:54,330 (uplifting music) 777 00:38:58,733 --> 00:39:01,403 (lips smacking) 778 00:39:04,700 --> 00:39:05,530 Oh! 779 00:39:07,133 --> 00:39:09,733 We'd best go back and get some food. 780 00:39:09,733 --> 00:39:12,073 Before it all gets a bit Ingrid Bergman. 781 00:39:13,967 --> 00:39:16,197 (giggling) 782 00:39:17,333 --> 00:39:19,503 - Like a pig-in-a-blanket? - Oh, 783 00:39:19,500 --> 00:39:22,800 a toast to Bianca and Chris, I think. 784 00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:24,400 - Bianca and Chris! 785 00:39:27,100 --> 00:39:28,100 - I don't want to piss on anyone's chips, 786 00:39:28,100 --> 00:39:30,670 but do you mind if I do a toast? 787 00:39:30,667 --> 00:39:33,867 - Oh, can I have me frigging dinner first? 788 00:39:33,867 --> 00:39:34,697 - Pauline! 789 00:39:36,900 --> 00:39:39,100 It's been really hard for me today, without me mum and dad 790 00:39:39,100 --> 00:39:43,430 and I know I've been a bit of a stroppy cow, 791 00:39:43,433 --> 00:39:45,173 and I'm really sorry. 792 00:39:45,167 --> 00:39:49,067 But, you know, do you know what I've loved about it? 793 00:39:49,067 --> 00:39:50,467 Well, with you lot here 794 00:39:50,467 --> 00:39:52,627 it's actually been all right. 795 00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,430 And I'm actually OK, 796 00:39:55,433 --> 00:39:57,303 and after the flood, 797 00:39:57,300 --> 00:40:01,200 we all mucked in and I think Bianca's OK, too. 798 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:02,430 So, we're all OK. 799 00:40:02,433 --> 00:40:03,833 (laughing) 800 00:40:03,833 --> 00:40:07,933 And I'd just like to say, thank you, really, 801 00:40:07,933 --> 00:40:12,603 to the lot of you, well, for making this such a great day. 802 00:40:14,567 --> 00:40:16,067 To you lot! 803 00:40:16,067 --> 00:40:17,727 - [Group] To us lot! 804 00:40:19,033 --> 00:40:21,203 (glasses clanking) (chattering) 805 00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:22,270 (clearing throat) 806 00:40:22,267 --> 00:40:23,497 - Right, right, now. 807 00:40:24,700 --> 00:40:26,570 I really am going to piss on your chips. 808 00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:28,570 - Ohhh. - Come on. 809 00:40:31,933 --> 00:40:35,673 * I'm getting married in the morning * 810 00:40:35,667 --> 00:40:39,397 * Ding-dong, the bells are gonna chime * 811 00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:41,630 (laughing) 812 00:40:42,833 --> 00:40:46,733 Oh, it's all right, Son, it's really all right. 813 00:40:49,233 --> 00:40:50,873 Hm! 814 00:40:50,867 --> 00:40:51,827 - Hooray! 815 00:40:51,833 --> 00:40:55,173 (applauding and laughing) 816 00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:59,070 - Happy Christmas, everyone! - Happy Christmas! 817 00:40:59,067 --> 00:41:01,327 - Happy Christmas! 818 00:41:01,333 --> 00:41:03,773 (chattering) 819 00:41:06,867 --> 00:41:09,697 - I'm really pleased for you. - Congratulations! 820 00:41:09,700 --> 00:41:12,670 - I know. - He went down on bended knee. 821 00:41:12,667 --> 00:41:15,097 (chattering) 822 00:41:20,067 --> 00:41:21,527 - What's up? 823 00:41:21,533 --> 00:41:22,933 You're all right about your mum and dad, aren't you? 824 00:41:22,933 --> 00:41:24,303 - Course I am! 825 00:41:24,300 --> 00:41:28,900 I just wanted to tell you your speech was ace. 826 00:41:28,900 --> 00:41:29,730 (Lisa laughing) 827 00:41:29,733 --> 00:41:30,673 - Oh, thanks. 828 00:41:30,667 --> 00:41:32,397 - And today's been amazing. 829 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,900 The food, my present. 830 00:41:34,900 --> 00:41:38,270 - Aw, really? - And I still can't believe 831 00:41:38,267 --> 00:41:40,797 you haven't kicked off about your present. 832 00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:41,970 - Why would I kick off? 833 00:41:44,333 --> 00:41:45,173 I love 'em. 834 00:41:45,167 --> 00:41:46,727 - Oh, come on! 835 00:41:46,733 --> 00:41:47,703 Don't tell me you haven't wanted to cut me head off 836 00:41:47,700 --> 00:41:49,600 'cos of those monstrosities. 837 00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,930 You don't really think I wouldn't get you 838 00:41:52,933 --> 00:41:55,333 a special present, do you? - Ohhhhh. 839 00:41:56,267 --> 00:41:57,967 (laughing) 840 00:41:57,967 --> 00:41:59,767 - Go on, just open it. 841 00:42:08,067 --> 00:42:09,597 (Lisa gasping) 842 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:11,730 - Ah. - Do you like 'em? 843 00:42:11,733 --> 00:42:13,203 - I love them. 844 00:42:14,467 --> 00:42:16,927 Ohhh! 845 00:42:16,933 --> 00:42:17,833 - Mm! - Aw! 846 00:42:19,067 --> 00:42:19,897 (doorbell ringing) 847 00:42:19,900 --> 00:42:20,730 - Oh! - Oh. 848 00:42:24,067 --> 00:42:25,427 - [Both] Happy Christmas! 849 00:42:25,433 --> 00:42:27,433 (laughing) 850 00:42:27,433 --> 00:42:28,673 - Come in! 851 00:42:28,667 --> 00:42:29,597 Take your coats off. 852 00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:30,470 It's freezing! 853 00:42:30,467 --> 00:42:32,067 Hello, Joshua. 854 00:42:32,067 --> 00:42:34,197 - Are we too late for tequila charades? 855 00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:35,430 - I think so. - Yeah, 856 00:42:35,433 --> 00:42:37,303 you haven't missed the karaoke, though. 857 00:42:37,300 --> 00:42:38,930 (laughing) 858 00:42:38,933 --> 00:42:40,073 - Come in. - There you go, cheers. 859 00:42:40,067 --> 00:42:41,527 (gasping) 860 00:42:41,533 --> 00:42:44,073 * For a day 861 00:42:44,067 --> 00:42:47,967 * So here it is, merry Christmas * 862 00:42:47,967 --> 00:42:52,897 * Everybody's having fun 863 00:42:52,900 --> 00:42:55,830 * Look to the future now 864 00:42:55,833 --> 00:42:59,073 * It's only just begun 865 00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:06,130 - [Lisa] Happy Christmas, everyone! 866 00:43:07,167 --> 00:43:09,497 (screaming) 867 00:43:11,733 --> 00:43:14,403 * It's a merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas * 868 00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,230 * Take a walk in the frosty air * 869 00:43:17,233 --> 00:43:20,533 * And every time you go outside * 870 00:43:20,533 --> 00:43:23,773 * There's snowflakes in your hair * 871 00:43:23,767 --> 00:43:26,727 * Have a happy, happy, happy little holiday * 872 00:43:26,733 --> 00:43:29,703 * And a one wonderful New Year 873 00:43:29,700 --> 00:43:32,970 * Let's deck those halls with mistletoe * 874 00:43:32,967 --> 00:43:35,967 * 'Cause Christmas time is here * 875 00:43:35,967 --> 00:43:39,197 * Let's deck those halls with mistletoe * 876 00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:43,300 * 'Cause Christmas time is here * 59572

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