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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,733 --> 00:00:04,403 (light chiming) 2 00:00:08,233 --> 00:00:10,833 (upbeat music) 3 00:00:35,067 --> 00:00:38,367 * Now we don't have to pretend 4 00:00:38,367 --> 00:00:43,327 * Falling all around me is the patience that I lost * 5 00:00:44,267 --> 00:00:46,967 * Where I'm confused again 6 00:00:46,967 --> 00:00:51,697 * Tell me I watch y'alls 7 00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:56,670 * I'll be the change again 8 00:00:57,967 --> 00:01:02,927 * I'll change the way things end * 9 00:01:03,967 --> 00:01:08,097 * Don't leave me in the chops 10 00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:11,800 * Simply now we chance to go 11 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:15,300 * We chance to go 12 00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:19,770 * Oh, tell me once or twice 13 00:01:19,767 --> 00:01:22,597 * Can we put this all behind 14 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:26,070 * 'Cause I have lot my mind 15 00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:29,427 * There's somethin' I need to find * 16 00:01:29,433 --> 00:01:31,833 * Falling all around me 17 00:01:31,833 --> 00:01:34,703 * Is the patience that I lost 18 00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:37,200 * And I'm confused again 19 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,430 (phone beeps) 20 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:42,773 - Yes, hello, do you have any availability for the 16th? 21 00:01:44,767 --> 00:01:45,697 Oh, great. 22 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:49,830 Can I just ask, 23 00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:52,233 how much extra it would be for a four-poster? 24 00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:55,897 Really, that's good. 25 00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,830 Yes, thanks, that'd be great. 26 00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:01,703 It's Dan and Kate Johnson, 27 00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:03,900 J-O-H-N-S-O-N. 28 00:02:04,867 --> 00:02:05,697 Smashing. 29 00:02:16,333 --> 00:02:18,933 (horn honking) 30 00:02:30,533 --> 00:02:31,533 - Morning, Bianca. 31 00:02:31,533 --> 00:02:33,333 - Oh, hello! 32 00:02:33,333 --> 00:02:35,733 Excuse the hair, Barry and Sue's party. 33 00:02:35,733 --> 00:02:36,873 You have to make the effort, 34 00:02:36,867 --> 00:02:39,267 no matter how provincial it might sound. 35 00:02:39,267 --> 00:02:40,567 Are you going, cock? 36 00:02:40,567 --> 00:02:41,697 - I can't, no. 37 00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:45,173 Sorry, I'm not being rude but I'm in a bit of a hurry. 38 00:02:45,167 --> 00:02:46,067 - Hurry? 39 00:02:46,067 --> 00:02:46,967 - Ferry to catch. 40 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:47,927 I'm driving to Hollyhead. 41 00:02:47,933 --> 00:02:49,473 - Oh, off on your jollies? 42 00:02:49,467 --> 00:02:50,397 - Not exactly. 43 00:02:51,633 --> 00:02:53,603 I'm just spending some time with my parents. 44 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,970 I'm letting the house out. 45 00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,367 The estate agents are coming later. 46 00:02:56,367 --> 00:02:57,867 They've got keys, obviously, 47 00:02:57,867 --> 00:03:00,397 but I want you to have a set, if you don't mind. 48 00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:02,567 - Oh. 49 00:03:02,567 --> 00:03:04,897 - I'll call you when I get home. 50 00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,900 - But this is your home. 51 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:09,530 - I'll be in touch. 52 00:03:11,167 --> 00:03:12,397 Thanks, Bianca. 53 00:03:13,967 --> 00:03:16,867 (thoughtful music) 54 00:03:21,533 --> 00:03:22,573 - Yoo-hoo! 55 00:03:22,567 --> 00:03:23,667 It's only me. 56 00:03:27,633 --> 00:03:28,873 Hey. 57 00:03:28,867 --> 00:03:30,467 Hey, Jack's on the move, I've noticed. 58 00:03:30,467 --> 00:03:32,427 He's only just got here when you think about it. 59 00:03:32,433 --> 00:03:33,573 - What's all that about? 60 00:03:33,567 --> 00:03:34,967 - How am I supposed to know? 61 00:03:35,967 --> 00:03:36,797 - Where's Dan? 62 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:41,100 He was up at six, he's got a job on in town. 63 00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,070 - Saturday? 64 00:03:42,067 --> 00:03:43,067 - He charges more. 65 00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:45,297 Mom, I wish you'd call me 66 00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:47,530 and let me know you're coming sometimes. 67 00:03:47,533 --> 00:03:49,203 - Been on the wine last night, snappy socks? 68 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:50,070 - No. 69 00:03:50,067 --> 00:03:51,197 - Time of the month? 70 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,430 - Mother! 71 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,833 For God's sake mum, it's your anniversary. 72 00:03:54,833 --> 00:03:56,633 Can't you take a break from household chores 73 00:03:56,633 --> 00:03:57,833 just for once? 74 00:03:57,833 --> 00:03:59,373 - Oh, don't be silly. 75 00:03:59,367 --> 00:04:01,127 We're already ahead of schedule. 76 00:04:01,133 --> 00:04:02,933 We picked up the booze at 8:30 77 00:04:02,933 --> 00:04:04,673 and it'll only take me 10 minutes or so 78 00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:06,667 to lay out the bar later on. 79 00:04:06,667 --> 00:04:08,397 I mean, what else am I going to do? 80 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,330 Your father's crawling the walls. 81 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,903 He'd be still clipping his toenails at midnight. 82 00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:14,700 I told him to just have a look at your borders. 83 00:04:14,700 --> 00:04:16,830 That'll keep him occupied for half an hour. 84 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:19,300 No boxers? 85 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,130 - What? 86 00:04:20,133 --> 00:04:21,203 - Where's Dan's boxers? 87 00:04:22,533 --> 00:04:24,133 - I put a wash on yesterday. 88 00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:25,073 - You? 89 00:04:25,067 --> 00:04:26,097 A wash? 90 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,230 Goodness gracious. 91 00:04:28,633 --> 00:04:31,073 You are feeling rough, aren't you, chicken fluff? 92 00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:33,167 (sighing) 93 00:04:35,533 --> 00:04:37,073 - Right, son, up you get. 94 00:04:38,267 --> 00:04:39,927 I've had your Auntie Beryl on the phone. 95 00:04:39,933 --> 00:04:42,503 She wants you to put a new dishwasher in. 96 00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:45,500 And don't listen to any of her pleading poverty bullshit. 97 00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,170 I've told her you want paying in cash, 98 00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:48,497 not fucking Mars bars. 99 00:04:53,067 --> 00:04:55,697 (phone ringing) 100 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,600 - Hi. 101 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,100 - Hi. 102 00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:04,200 How are you? 103 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,330 - All right, ta. 104 00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:06,673 What about you? 105 00:05:06,667 --> 00:05:09,467 Don't tell me, he's made you breakfast in bed. 106 00:05:09,467 --> 00:05:11,297 - Dan, please. 107 00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:12,370 - Do you want something? 108 00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:15,697 Well, what? 109 00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:16,670 - Mum's here. 110 00:05:16,667 --> 00:05:17,497 Your mum? 111 00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:18,330 At ours? 112 00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:19,173 Don't be silly. 113 00:05:19,167 --> 00:05:20,597 - Dan. 114 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:21,730 - You'll be telling me she's got her own key next. 115 00:05:21,733 --> 00:05:22,803 - Stop taking the piss. 116 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,970 - I'm not taking the piss. 117 00:05:26,067 --> 00:05:27,227 Is that it? 118 00:05:27,233 --> 00:05:28,803 You called me to tell me your mum's there? 119 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,330 Hey, guess what. 120 00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:31,533 My mum's here. 121 00:05:31,533 --> 00:05:32,403 What do you know! 122 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,067 - She asked where you were again. 123 00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:38,067 That's all. 124 00:05:38,067 --> 00:05:38,867 - And? 125 00:05:39,733 --> 00:05:41,133 - I said you were working. 126 00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,633 - We need to talk about this. 127 00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:45,803 I know and I promise we will. 128 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,870 But can we just wait until after the party, please? 129 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,830 - Okay then. 130 00:05:52,833 --> 00:05:54,733 - And have you told your mother to keep her big gob shut? 131 00:05:54,733 --> 00:05:56,433 - Yes! 132 00:05:56,433 --> 00:05:58,403 Although, I can't be held responsible for what she might say 133 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,400 once she gets a cider and black down her neck. 134 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:01,900 - Just do me a favor, 135 00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:04,470 if you happen to bump into my mum and dad anywhere today, 136 00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:06,633 just keep schtum. 137 00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:09,067 - Is that it? 138 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,870 - Are you still okay to pick up the food? 139 00:06:12,867 --> 00:06:14,197 - Yeah, fine. 140 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,830 - I'll see you later then. 141 00:06:17,833 --> 00:06:18,673 - Yeah. 142 00:06:19,833 --> 00:06:20,673 See you later. 143 00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:32,070 (thoughtful music) 144 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,070 (knocking on door) 145 00:06:43,067 --> 00:06:44,467 - Oh god, not again. 146 00:06:44,467 --> 00:06:46,127 - Don't be stupid. 147 00:06:46,133 --> 00:06:47,073 - If you've done one more thing. 148 00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:49,067 - I've done fuck all, I promise. 149 00:06:53,067 --> 00:06:54,797 - See who it is. 150 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:55,630 - It's weekend. 151 00:06:55,633 --> 00:06:56,603 They can bugger off! 152 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:57,930 - See who it is! 153 00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:05,173 - It's okay, a delivery van. 154 00:07:07,233 --> 00:07:09,173 - Oh, shit, it's my shoes. 155 00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:11,567 It's a parcel, tell him to wait. 156 00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:14,867 Just stick your head out the window, tell him to wait. 157 00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:18,367 Mate, here, wait! 158 00:07:29,133 --> 00:07:29,973 - Hiya. 159 00:07:29,967 --> 00:07:30,797 - [Denise] Hello. 160 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:31,630 - Hi. 161 00:07:31,633 --> 00:07:32,673 You buy anything nice? 162 00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:34,767 Oh, just an outfit for tonight. 163 00:07:34,767 --> 00:07:35,627 - Going anywhere special? 164 00:07:35,633 --> 00:07:37,073 - A party. 165 00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:38,527 - Damn. 166 00:07:38,533 --> 00:07:40,073 See, I was gonna see if you wanted to go out somewhere. 167 00:07:40,067 --> 00:07:41,267 - Oh. 168 00:07:41,267 --> 00:07:42,067 - But if you're at a party then-- 169 00:07:42,067 --> 00:07:42,897 - Never mind. 170 00:07:44,067 --> 00:07:45,267 I've got this book at home called 171 00:07:45,267 --> 00:07:47,067 "How To Drop Hints And Get Yourself An Invite". 172 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,627 It's a great read. 173 00:07:48,633 --> 00:07:50,073 You should probably buy it one day. 174 00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:51,327 - Oh, thanks. 175 00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:52,833 But I'm more of a chickflick girl. 176 00:07:52,833 --> 00:07:55,473 I've just read "That Extra Half an Inch" by Posh Spice. 177 00:07:55,467 --> 00:07:56,967 Un-put-down-able. 178 00:07:56,967 --> 00:07:59,067 - Well, look, there's always tomorrow. 179 00:07:59,067 --> 00:08:00,627 - [Denise] Tomorrow? 180 00:08:00,633 --> 00:08:02,073 - [Guy] Yeah, we could go out then. 181 00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,267 - Um, can't. 182 00:08:03,267 --> 00:08:05,527 I'm staying in and making a cheesecake. 183 00:08:05,533 --> 00:08:06,503 - What about Monday? 184 00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:07,330 - Manicure. 185 00:08:07,333 --> 00:08:08,373 - Tuesday? 186 00:08:08,367 --> 00:08:10,197 - Nuisance practice. 187 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,830 You should know already. 188 00:08:11,833 --> 00:08:12,673 Your sister. 189 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,670 It's what I call the birthing class. 190 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,267 Which is why you shouldn't be pestering me 191 00:08:17,267 --> 00:08:18,967 in the first place. 192 00:08:18,967 --> 00:08:21,767 I mean, let's be honest. 193 00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:23,397 It's a bit weird, don't you think, 194 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,370 in terms of the ergonomics. 195 00:08:25,367 --> 00:08:27,697 Dating a woman that's already been inseminated. 196 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:30,070 I mean, that's why you're out chasing 197 00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:31,597 in the first place, isn't it? 198 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,530 To sow your oats. 199 00:08:33,533 --> 00:08:35,203 Think about it, Mozart. 200 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,500 You and me, going on a date? 201 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:39,330 Talk about pointless. 202 00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:40,573 - But I like you. 203 00:08:40,567 --> 00:08:41,397 Can't we just-- 204 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:42,330 (sighing) 205 00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:44,203 Look, you're really sweet, 206 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,700 but honestly, I just don't think it's a good idea. 207 00:08:50,533 --> 00:08:53,473 (thoughtful music) 208 00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:04,667 - What the frig are you doing? 209 00:09:04,667 --> 00:09:07,227 - Stops it smelling when you put it in the recycling bin. 210 00:09:07,233 --> 00:09:08,403 - Recycling? 211 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,600 You taking the piss? 212 00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:11,827 Do I look like I got time 213 00:09:11,833 --> 00:09:13,803 to fanny about sorting through rubbish? 214 00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:16,497 I've got a life you know, son. 215 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,630 Ooh, stick the telly on, will you? 216 00:09:19,633 --> 00:09:21,103 Jeremy Kyle's on in a minute. 217 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,070 You remember Simon, don't you, love? 218 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,497 We're going shopping this aft. 219 00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:30,500 I need a new outfit for the party. 220 00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:31,900 Simon's gonna help me pick something, aren't you? 221 00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:33,070 - Mm hmm. 222 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:35,700 - All right? 223 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:38,200 - How's it going, big fella? 224 00:09:39,067 --> 00:09:39,897 - Good, thanks. 225 00:09:42,933 --> 00:09:43,773 Hey, you're looking well, mate. 226 00:09:43,767 --> 00:09:45,067 - You know me, son. 227 00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:47,527 Always been partial to a bit of brick shithouse. 228 00:09:47,533 --> 00:09:49,703 Fancy some cornflakes, Superman? 229 00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:52,370 (both laughing) 230 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:01,997 - [Greg] Hi, pal. 231 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,400 - Greg, mate. 232 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:04,900 That's it, I've had enough. 233 00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:06,130 It's got to change, all this. 234 00:10:06,133 --> 00:10:08,133 I'm sorting my life out. 235 00:10:08,133 --> 00:10:09,973 You around for a pint this afternoon? 236 00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:15,067 - It's only a pint. 237 00:10:15,067 --> 00:10:16,667 - It's never just only with you, though, is it? 238 00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:17,997 I promise! 239 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,830 Poor fella sounds desperate. 240 00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:21,073 - So you'll end up pissed? 241 00:10:21,067 --> 00:10:22,467 - No, we won't. 242 00:10:22,467 --> 00:10:24,197 - I'll be back by five at the latest. 243 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,470 - Five? 244 00:10:25,467 --> 00:10:27,397 I don't want us turning up at Barry and Sue's 245 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:28,700 with you half-cut. 246 00:10:31,467 --> 00:10:34,897 (phone ringing) 247 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:35,730 Hello? 248 00:10:35,733 --> 00:10:36,703 - [Man] Greg? 249 00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:37,930 - Sorry, he's in the shower. 250 00:10:37,933 --> 00:10:40,173 - Ah, is this his wife? 251 00:10:40,167 --> 00:10:41,967 Sorry, do I know you? 252 00:10:41,967 --> 00:10:43,597 - Yes, Richard. 253 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:44,430 - Richard? 254 00:10:44,433 --> 00:10:45,673 - Friend of Jack's. 255 00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:47,367 We didn't meet that day, I think. 256 00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:49,467 I met Lisa, dragon from next door. 257 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,670 - What day? 258 00:10:51,667 --> 00:10:52,827 - The day of the car crash. 259 00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:53,773 - Car crash? 260 00:10:56,267 --> 00:10:58,097 Oh, yeah, of course. 261 00:10:58,100 --> 00:10:59,070 - Is he better, your boy? 262 00:10:59,067 --> 00:11:00,897 He took quite a knock. 263 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:01,730 - Yeah. 264 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:04,630 No offense, Richard, 265 00:11:04,633 --> 00:11:05,903 but I'm gonna have to get a bit of a move on. 266 00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:07,800 People to see, places to go. 267 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,300 You with me? 268 00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:10,970 - Listen, tell Greg to give me a quick call, will you? 269 00:11:10,967 --> 00:11:13,827 I've got a bit of a business proposition for him. 270 00:11:13,833 --> 00:11:15,603 - Of course I will. 271 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:16,430 Bye. 272 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,230 - [Woman] Lisa, hi. 273 00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:28,397 Mum asked me to bob in, to check everything was in hand. 274 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,070 - Of course it is. 275 00:11:30,067 --> 00:11:31,597 That's not egg-mayo, is it? 276 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,330 As in made with mayo? 277 00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:34,533 Didn't my mum explain? 278 00:11:34,533 --> 00:11:36,503 That you like it made with salad cream. 279 00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:37,330 - Yeah. 280 00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:38,273 - Yeah. 281 00:11:38,267 --> 00:11:39,497 She did explain, actually, 282 00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,070 and that's exactly what I've used. 283 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:41,797 - Good. 284 00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:45,367 And Dan will pick it all up around seven. 285 00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:46,167 - Yeah. 286 00:11:47,967 --> 00:11:48,927 Yeah, don't worry. 287 00:11:48,933 --> 00:11:49,833 He called me this morning. 288 00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:50,933 It's all arranged. 289 00:11:53,233 --> 00:11:54,533 - Why did you tell him, Kate? 290 00:11:54,533 --> 00:11:56,933 Look, Lisa, I'm really sorry Dan left you-- 291 00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:58,473 He hasn't left me! 292 00:11:58,467 --> 00:11:59,527 We're separated. 293 00:11:59,533 --> 00:12:00,703 Temporarily. 294 00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:02,470 People do it all the time. 295 00:12:02,467 --> 00:12:05,097 And you got it all wrong about me and Jack. 296 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,100 - You don't have to explain yourself to me. 297 00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:08,800 - I'm not explaining myself. 298 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,200 I'm just telling you. 299 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,170 You got it wrong. 300 00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:13,697 And if I'd had it my way, 301 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,670 Mum would have gone somewhere else for the catering. 302 00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:16,827 - People have a right to know 303 00:12:16,833 --> 00:12:18,133 when they're being messed around, you know. 304 00:12:18,133 --> 00:12:20,073 That's all I want to say. 305 00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:21,867 (laughs) 306 00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:23,627 - Dan was right about you. 307 00:12:23,633 --> 00:12:24,573 - Pardon? 308 00:12:24,567 --> 00:12:25,627 - You do need to get out more. 309 00:12:25,633 --> 00:12:27,103 Mingle a bit. 310 00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:29,600 Touch of the old maid about you, Kate. 311 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:30,870 It's disturbing. 312 00:12:30,867 --> 00:12:33,867 (muffled pop music) 313 00:12:41,367 --> 00:12:42,197 - Hiya. 314 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:43,370 - Hi, are you okay? 315 00:12:43,367 --> 00:12:44,767 - Oh, just a bit tired, this bloody party. 316 00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:46,597 - Who's Richard? 317 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,170 - Richard? 318 00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:50,767 - Don't try and cover anything up or make any silly excuses. 319 00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:51,667 - Cover what up? 320 00:12:51,667 --> 00:12:52,497 What are you on about? 321 00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:53,800 - Richard. 322 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,830 The night Greg was supposedly mugged. 323 00:12:55,833 --> 00:12:56,673 (gasps) 324 00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:58,067 - Oh, Richard! 325 00:12:58,067 --> 00:13:00,167 It was just cards, really, nothing special. 326 00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:01,667 - But he didn't mention it. 327 00:13:01,667 --> 00:13:02,627 Why didn't he mention it? 328 00:13:02,633 --> 00:13:04,103 What was he trying to hide? 329 00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:05,370 - Well, he knows you hate him gambling, Shelley. 330 00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:06,897 Probably didn't want the earache. 331 00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:08,330 - Did it not bother you? 332 00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:09,833 That Dan was playing cards? 333 00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:10,673 (scoffs) 334 00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:11,497 - Did it, heck! 335 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,570 Why should it? 336 00:13:12,567 --> 00:13:14,167 He's a crap gambler. 337 00:13:14,167 --> 00:13:16,167 Anyway, he came home, didn't he? 338 00:13:16,167 --> 00:13:17,527 When they said they were going to the casino, 339 00:13:17,533 --> 00:13:19,303 he just called it a day. 340 00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:20,130 The casino? 341 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,700 - Yeah. 342 00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,500 (scoffs) 343 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,870 - What a complete and utter prick. 344 00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:29,667 - [Lisa] Are you totally sure he said crash? 345 00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:31,167 - Of course I am. 346 00:13:31,167 --> 00:13:32,567 - I mean, he wasn't the sharpest tool in the box, 347 00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:33,967 if I'm honest, that Richard. 348 00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:35,827 - Oh, my God. 349 00:13:35,833 --> 00:13:37,333 Pretend I'm not here. 350 00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:39,073 Look at each other, don't look at me! 351 00:13:39,067 --> 00:13:40,167 - Is he looking in? 352 00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:41,097 - Yes. 353 00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:42,370 - Don't look out though! 354 00:13:42,367 --> 00:13:43,797 - You just asked me if he's looking in! 355 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:44,800 - Don't look! 356 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,070 - He's coming in. 357 00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:47,727 He's very cute. 358 00:13:47,733 --> 00:13:48,873 - Getting ready for the party? 359 00:13:48,867 --> 00:13:50,927 - Obviously, duh. 360 00:13:50,933 --> 00:13:52,503 - Is this the one where you can't bring someone along? 361 00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:53,730 - Yes. 362 00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:54,933 - Of course you can bring someone! 363 00:13:54,933 --> 00:13:56,133 - No, I can't! 364 00:13:56,133 --> 00:13:57,403 - Ignore her. 365 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,470 It's my mum and dad's party, love. 366 00:13:59,467 --> 00:14:01,067 Which means it's practically mine. 367 00:14:01,067 --> 00:14:02,197 Of course you can come. 368 00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,330 - So, I'll pick you up at-- 369 00:14:04,333 --> 00:14:08,703 - Oh, I think half seven should do it. 370 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:09,700 Here's her address. 371 00:14:11,233 --> 00:14:12,073 - Thanks. 372 00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:12,897 - Now bugger off. 373 00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:14,470 This is girl time. 374 00:14:14,467 --> 00:14:15,297 - What did you do that for? 375 00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:17,400 - Oh, it's only a date. 376 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,200 - And he's rather gorgeous. 377 00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:24,597 (thoughtful music) 378 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:48,900 - Hiya. 379 00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:49,730 - Hello. 380 00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:51,530 - How you doing? 381 00:14:52,633 --> 00:14:53,803 - Fantastic, thanks. 382 00:14:56,567 --> 00:14:57,467 (laughs) 383 00:14:57,467 --> 00:14:59,067 She's beautiful. 384 00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:00,327 - Yeah, I know. 385 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,370 - Bye, Fergus. 386 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,070 Denise. 387 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:13,230 I'm sorry. 388 00:15:15,067 --> 00:15:17,067 - Yeah, I know you are. 389 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:26,430 - Got my bits. 390 00:15:26,433 --> 00:15:27,273 - Yeah. 391 00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:31,830 (thoughtful music) 392 00:15:54,133 --> 00:15:55,403 - [Sue] My boy. 393 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:18,570 - Look at you. 394 00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:23,700 Flower? 395 00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:25,300 - 40 years. 396 00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:26,730 - I know. 397 00:16:26,733 --> 00:16:28,903 - I never thought I'd make it through. 398 00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:30,600 I didn't think I could carry on. 399 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:31,970 - Shh, that's nonsense. 400 00:16:31,967 --> 00:16:33,827 - You got me through it, Barry. 401 00:16:36,067 --> 00:16:40,067 I just want you to know that I love you very much. 402 00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,970 - Not as much as I love you, kid. 403 00:16:55,167 --> 00:16:56,067 You okay? 404 00:16:58,433 --> 00:16:59,633 - Yeah, I'm okay. 405 00:16:59,633 --> 00:17:01,333 - Right, kid, get your dancing shoes on. 406 00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:03,433 We've got a shindig to go to. 407 00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:07,400 (thoughtful music) 408 00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:13,767 (horn honks) 409 00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:22,827 Hey, DJ Dave! 410 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,403 Hey, Timperley's Finest. 411 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,370 Peace in the Middle East, sunshine. 412 00:17:26,367 --> 00:17:27,197 How's tricks? 413 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,070 - All right, Barry. 414 00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:29,267 You know me. 415 00:17:29,267 --> 00:17:31,597 Ducking and a diving, wheeling and a dealing. 416 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,630 - Hey, screwing and a mooing. 417 00:17:33,633 --> 00:17:35,303 - [Dave] Dabbling and a babbling. 418 00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:39,900 - Now that's what I call a disco. 419 00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:41,270 - Hiya, Dave. 420 00:17:41,267 --> 00:17:43,797 - About time we got this party started. 421 00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:48,170 (lively disco music) 422 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,530 (thoughtful music) 423 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,400 (doorbell ringing) 424 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,130 - What the fuck do you want? 425 00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:07,373 - I need to explain something. 426 00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:09,067 - What if I don't want to hear it? 427 00:19:09,067 --> 00:19:11,167 - Look, Lisa didn't kiss me, I kissed her. 428 00:19:13,533 --> 00:19:14,373 - My wife! 429 00:19:14,367 --> 00:19:15,297 - I'm totally sorry! 430 00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:16,270 - I should cave your head in! 431 00:19:16,267 --> 00:19:17,497 - I was out of order! 432 00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,070 I fancied her, she didn't want to know. 433 00:19:19,067 --> 00:19:20,367 - You should have left her alone! 434 00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:23,327 - She only ever said how much she loved ya. 435 00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:25,203 (Dan growls) 436 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,700 - She should have told me. 437 00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:27,930 She bullshitted me, basically. 438 00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:29,173 She shouldn't have bullshitted me. 439 00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:31,127 - She pushed me away! 440 00:19:31,133 --> 00:19:33,233 Look, whatever Kate saw, she saw it wrong. 441 00:19:34,867 --> 00:19:36,267 I'm sorry. 442 00:19:36,267 --> 00:19:37,467 I was bang out of order. 443 00:19:38,900 --> 00:19:40,170 You're a good bloke, Dan. 444 00:19:41,767 --> 00:19:42,727 And a lucky one. 445 00:19:42,733 --> 00:19:45,973 (thoughtful music) 446 00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:48,527 (upbeat music) 447 00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:02,567 (kids yelling) 448 00:20:14,433 --> 00:20:15,633 - Thanks, Peggy. 449 00:20:15,633 --> 00:20:17,733 Jim, go and get yourselves a drink. 450 00:20:17,733 --> 00:20:18,573 (gasps) 451 00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:19,397 Shelley! 452 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:20,970 - Hasta la vista, baby. 453 00:20:20,967 --> 00:20:22,127 What's it crackalacking? 454 00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:22,973 - Hiya. 455 00:20:22,967 --> 00:20:23,797 - You look gorgeous. 456 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,130 Oh, thank you, Sue. 457 00:20:25,133 --> 00:20:26,073 So do you. 458 00:20:26,067 --> 00:20:27,397 Happy anniversary. 459 00:20:28,267 --> 00:20:31,167 So, this is a slow-cooker. 460 00:20:31,167 --> 00:20:32,297 Hope that's okay. 461 00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:33,800 - How wonderful! 462 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,370 - Well, Lisa said you can bung a stew in it 463 00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:37,067 and leave it cooking while she goes skating. 464 00:20:37,067 --> 00:20:38,527 - Hiya. - Oh hiya. 465 00:20:39,967 --> 00:20:42,667 - See you in a minute. - See you later. 466 00:20:44,333 --> 00:20:46,303 - You look fantastic! 467 00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:47,100 Give us a kiss. 468 00:20:48,633 --> 00:20:50,103 What's up? 469 00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:51,470 - You couldn't even go home and get changed first? 470 00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:54,427 - You like what I'm wearing, don't you? 471 00:21:10,267 --> 00:21:11,097 - Hello? 472 00:21:12,567 --> 00:21:13,397 - Hi! 473 00:21:15,833 --> 00:21:17,073 - You're not coming? 474 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:19,067 - Well, I didn't think it was such a good idea. 475 00:21:19,067 --> 00:21:19,967 - Sue's invited you. 476 00:21:19,967 --> 00:21:21,627 She'll be expecting you. 477 00:21:21,633 --> 00:21:22,933 - I'm just not sure. 478 00:21:22,933 --> 00:21:24,103 - You've done all this. 479 00:21:25,267 --> 00:21:26,567 You could do with a drink, surely. 480 00:21:26,567 --> 00:21:27,497 (laughs) 481 00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,070 - Well, you're not wrong there. 482 00:21:29,067 --> 00:21:30,467 - I'll load the van, you go and get your glad rags on. 483 00:21:30,467 --> 00:21:32,427 - Well, I need to shower, I'll be a few minutes. 484 00:21:32,433 --> 00:21:34,073 - I don't mind waiting. 485 00:21:34,067 --> 00:21:34,827 Really? 486 00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:38,600 Well, once you finish loading the van, come up to the flat, 487 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,200 there's some beer in the fridge. 488 00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:42,100 I got you some in. 489 00:21:55,133 --> 00:21:56,403 - God Almighty, it's colder 490 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,170 than a penguin's bollocks in here. 491 00:21:58,167 --> 00:21:59,827 - Hi, Pauline. 492 00:21:59,833 --> 00:22:02,533 - Well, you'd think they'd out some heating on. 493 00:22:02,533 --> 00:22:04,733 Who'd have a party in one of these things? 494 00:22:04,733 --> 00:22:05,903 - My parents, actually. 495 00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:09,097 - So, where is he? 496 00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:10,200 - Dan? 497 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:11,700 - Who else? 498 00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:14,170 - He's gone to get changed and to pick up the food. 499 00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:15,667 - Are you and him talking yet? 500 00:22:17,067 --> 00:22:20,227 - I'd rather none of us discuss it, if you don't mind. 501 00:22:20,233 --> 00:22:21,433 Not tonight, Pauline. 502 00:22:21,433 --> 00:22:22,373 (sighs) 503 00:22:22,367 --> 00:22:23,367 - Yeah, I know, he warned me. 504 00:22:24,533 --> 00:22:26,203 Word of advice? 505 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,930 Say sorry and give him a bit of hanky-panky. 506 00:22:28,933 --> 00:22:30,903 He might be my son but he's still a fella 507 00:22:30,900 --> 00:22:32,500 and they're basically all the same. 508 00:22:32,500 --> 00:22:34,870 Simpletons, with heavy ball bags, basically. 509 00:22:34,867 --> 00:22:36,067 - Can I take your coat? 510 00:22:37,133 --> 00:22:38,133 - Where's the ladies'? 511 00:22:38,133 --> 00:22:39,333 - Down there. 512 00:22:39,333 --> 00:22:41,073 You go in love, give us five minutes. 513 00:22:41,067 --> 00:22:42,627 The mole's at the counter. 514 00:22:42,633 --> 00:22:43,473 - [Simon] Again? 515 00:22:43,467 --> 00:22:44,727 - It's your fault. 516 00:22:44,733 --> 00:22:46,803 I said me and that sauce wouldn't see eye to eye. 517 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,230 Chicken should be dry and roasted, not drowned. 518 00:22:50,233 --> 00:22:51,473 - What do you want for drink? 519 00:22:51,467 --> 00:22:54,327 - Oh, get us a cider and black, a pint'll do. 520 00:22:54,333 --> 00:22:56,803 Ooh, and a Schnapps chaser if there's any going. 521 00:22:58,067 --> 00:23:00,267 (exclaims) 522 00:23:03,233 --> 00:23:04,073 - Aye, aye. 523 00:23:04,067 --> 00:23:05,197 Lock up your daughters. 524 00:23:06,333 --> 00:23:07,573 - And your wives. 525 00:23:07,567 --> 00:23:09,697 Hey, hey, Terry lad. 526 00:23:09,700 --> 00:23:12,130 - Happy anniversary, big bro! 527 00:23:14,067 --> 00:23:15,567 Hey, hey, whoa! 528 00:23:19,533 --> 00:23:20,373 - All right, Margaret? 529 00:23:20,367 --> 00:23:22,297 - Happy anniversary. 530 00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:23,570 There you go, love. 531 00:23:25,067 --> 00:23:26,497 Just some haberdashery 532 00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:28,300 and a couple of photo frames for the chuck wagon. 533 00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:30,330 Lisa said you wanted to tidy it up a bit. 534 00:23:30,333 --> 00:23:31,873 - Oh, lovely. 535 00:23:31,867 --> 00:23:33,427 - Where is she? 536 00:23:33,433 --> 00:23:35,233 Come to daddy, precious girl. 537 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:41,430 Lovely. 538 00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:43,333 - How you keeping, kiddo? 539 00:23:43,333 --> 00:23:44,603 - Not the best. 540 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,330 - Oh, shame. 541 00:23:46,333 --> 00:23:48,673 - They found another polyps on me appendix. 542 00:23:48,667 --> 00:23:50,297 - Oh, you poor goat. 543 00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:51,870 Does this mean another operation? 544 00:23:51,867 --> 00:23:53,067 - A week Tuesday. 545 00:23:53,067 --> 00:23:55,227 Four nights in Mornington General. 546 00:23:55,233 --> 00:23:56,203 Can't wait. 547 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:57,630 The chips are to die for. 548 00:23:57,633 --> 00:24:00,203 I put on four pounds last time I was in. 549 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:01,800 And my surgeon's a pioneer you know. 550 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,070 - Is he? 551 00:24:03,067 --> 00:24:04,527 - It's amazing what they can do these days. 552 00:24:04,533 --> 00:24:08,073 Apparently we don't even need our appendix anymore. 553 00:24:08,067 --> 00:24:10,497 Makes you wonder why we're still born with 'em, don't it? 554 00:24:11,367 --> 00:24:12,197 - Right. 555 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,370 Where is she? 556 00:24:13,367 --> 00:24:14,767 Where's my favorite little niece? 557 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:17,400 - He's seen you. 558 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,430 - Bollocks, keep talking. 559 00:24:18,433 --> 00:24:19,273 - He's coming over. 560 00:24:19,267 --> 00:24:20,097 - What, now? 561 00:24:20,100 --> 00:24:21,070 - Yeah, now. 562 00:24:21,067 --> 00:24:21,967 - Has he definitely seen me? 563 00:24:21,967 --> 00:24:23,097 - He's definitely seen you. 564 00:24:23,100 --> 00:24:24,070 Oh, God. 565 00:24:24,067 --> 00:24:24,967 I think he's got a hard on. 566 00:24:24,967 --> 00:24:26,497 - Where is she? 567 00:24:26,500 --> 00:24:28,800 Where's my little Lisa? 568 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:29,630 - Uncle Terry! 569 00:24:30,533 --> 00:24:31,933 - Come here! 570 00:24:31,933 --> 00:24:33,373 - Do I have to? 571 00:24:33,367 --> 00:24:35,927 - As the Pope once said, "Come hither under my cloak." 572 00:24:38,067 --> 00:24:39,497 You're lovely, aren't you? 573 00:24:39,500 --> 00:24:40,700 You do look bonny 574 00:24:40,700 --> 00:24:41,900 - Barry? - What, love? 575 00:24:43,333 --> 00:24:45,803 - Get over there and save your daughter. 576 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:46,730 - Pervert alert. 577 00:24:46,733 --> 00:24:48,073 I'm on my way as we speak. 578 00:24:50,233 --> 00:24:51,073 - Hiya, Dad! 579 00:24:51,067 --> 00:24:51,897 - Hi love. 580 00:24:55,133 --> 00:24:56,673 - God, I'm so sorry. 581 00:24:56,667 --> 00:24:57,597 Give me five minutes. 582 00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:58,900 I'm nearly ready, I promise. 583 00:24:58,900 --> 00:25:00,070 Hairbrush. 584 00:25:00,067 --> 00:25:00,767 Hairbrush. 585 00:25:00,767 --> 00:25:01,927 Hairbrush. 586 00:25:01,933 --> 00:25:02,773 (laughs) 587 00:25:02,767 --> 00:25:04,227 You're a gem. 588 00:25:04,233 --> 00:25:05,673 Did you get a beer? 589 00:25:05,667 --> 00:25:06,497 - No. 590 00:25:08,933 --> 00:25:09,833 - Nice, isn't it? 591 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:12,570 - Very. 592 00:25:12,567 --> 00:25:14,297 - I knew you would like it. 593 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:17,200 Fridge. 594 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,070 Now, mister. 595 00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:24,430 I said now! 596 00:25:59,133 --> 00:26:01,073 (thoughtful music) 597 00:26:01,067 --> 00:26:02,497 - What if he's had a crash? 598 00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:04,770 - Oh, he won't have had a crash. 599 00:26:04,767 --> 00:26:06,497 At least if he had, he'd bloody well tell you. 600 00:26:06,500 --> 00:26:08,070 - [Lisa] But he said seven. 601 00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:10,097 - Well, he's probably just watching footy or something. 602 00:26:10,100 --> 00:26:11,270 - Oh, he won't do that. 603 00:26:11,267 --> 00:26:12,497 Not on my mum and dad's 40th. 604 00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:13,430 He wouldn't be that mean. 605 00:26:13,433 --> 00:26:15,233 - Why don't you just phone him? 606 00:26:15,233 --> 00:26:16,573 - I'll Be back in a minute. 607 00:26:21,067 --> 00:26:21,897 - I don't think so. 608 00:26:21,900 --> 00:26:23,570 - I said I'm sorry. 609 00:26:23,567 --> 00:26:24,827 What you want from me, baby? 610 00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:25,803 Blood? 611 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,300 (dance music) 612 00:26:37,067 --> 00:26:38,467 - Lordy, Lordy, Lordy. 613 00:26:38,467 --> 00:26:41,227 That's a pair of traffic stoppers, if ever I saw them. 614 00:26:41,233 --> 00:26:42,873 Yo, comrades. 615 00:26:42,867 --> 00:26:44,267 - Oh, happy anniversary. 616 00:26:46,367 --> 00:26:50,497 - Spice rack for Sue and screwdriver set for you, Barry. 617 00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:52,400 - Oh, smashing that is, Jim, smashing. 618 00:26:53,633 --> 00:26:55,173 Sue, spice rack. 619 00:26:55,167 --> 00:26:56,567 - Yes, lovely. 620 00:26:57,767 --> 00:26:58,797 - Hey, gorgeous. 621 00:27:00,067 --> 00:27:02,327 Think of a number between one and 10. 622 00:27:02,333 --> 00:27:03,273 - What? 623 00:27:03,267 --> 00:27:04,867 - Go on, between one and 10. 624 00:27:04,867 --> 00:27:05,827 - Seven? 625 00:27:05,833 --> 00:27:07,773 - Wrong! Sorry. 626 00:27:07,767 --> 00:27:09,227 Oh, shucks! 627 00:27:09,233 --> 00:27:10,803 Now you gonna have to take all your clothes off. 628 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:11,730 Oh! 629 00:27:11,733 --> 00:27:13,303 - Saucy sausage, you are. 630 00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:15,130 - Bloody right I am, you little minx. 631 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,200 - You don't need to worry. 632 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:19,600 I don't. 633 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,600 Keeps him out of mischief, a bit of flirting. 634 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,970 I'm Margaret, I'm his wife. 635 00:27:23,967 --> 00:27:24,967 - I'm Jim. 636 00:27:24,967 --> 00:27:26,197 - Hello, Jim. 637 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,400 I'm not the jealous type. 638 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,470 And I can tell you're not either. 639 00:27:29,467 --> 00:27:30,797 Life is short enough. 640 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:32,800 In a world full of death and disaster, 641 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,200 what's the point of worrying 642 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,330 they're going to run off together. 643 00:27:36,333 --> 00:27:39,403 Cross the bridge when you get there, that's my motto. 644 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:40,270 Fancy a sit down? 645 00:27:43,067 --> 00:27:45,167 (beeping) 646 00:27:47,300 --> 00:27:49,970 (phone ringing) 647 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:32,700 - Hello, chicken. 648 00:28:32,700 --> 00:28:33,670 - Happy anniversary. 649 00:28:33,667 --> 00:28:35,627 It's a radio alarm clock. 650 00:28:35,633 --> 00:28:36,833 - Lovely. 651 00:28:36,833 --> 00:28:37,773 - For the back bedroom. 652 00:28:37,767 --> 00:28:39,567 - Lisa said the other one broke. 653 00:28:39,567 --> 00:28:41,097 - 28 years, we had that thing. 654 00:28:41,100 --> 00:28:43,230 - They don't make things like these, do they? 655 00:28:43,233 --> 00:28:44,473 You watch. 656 00:28:44,467 --> 00:28:46,067 That'll conk out after a couple of months. 657 00:28:46,067 --> 00:28:47,667 Load of old tat probably. 658 00:28:47,667 --> 00:28:49,567 - It'll be fine, won't it, Barry? 659 00:28:49,567 --> 00:28:51,367 - More than fine, my cherry blossom. 660 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,300 - How's the little bean coming along? 661 00:28:54,300 --> 00:28:55,500 - Okay, thanks. 662 00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:56,430 I can't stop eating. 663 00:28:56,433 --> 00:28:57,973 My thighs are like tree trunks, 664 00:28:57,967 --> 00:29:00,067 but I'm sure it's all worth it. 665 00:29:00,067 --> 00:29:01,597 - Sure, you won't be saying that, 666 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:03,230 when they're stitching your snatch back together, love. 667 00:29:03,233 --> 00:29:04,073 (laughing) - Hiya. 668 00:29:05,267 --> 00:29:06,497 - Where is Mr. Wonderful? 669 00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:08,270 - I've been trying to tell everyone, Lisa. 670 00:29:08,267 --> 00:29:09,767 I don't need a man. 671 00:29:09,767 --> 00:29:10,597 None of us do really. 672 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:11,830 If you think about it. 673 00:29:11,833 --> 00:29:13,703 - No, you just haven't found the right one. 674 00:29:13,700 --> 00:29:15,800 I'm very lucky with Simon. 675 00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:17,970 In a word, girth. 676 00:29:17,967 --> 00:29:20,227 (laughing) 677 00:29:22,933 --> 00:29:25,073 - They found another little critter last March, 678 00:29:25,067 --> 00:29:26,597 on my left kidney. 679 00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,500 I was naught for six, Jim. 680 00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:30,830 I'd only just got over the shock of the first. 681 00:29:30,833 --> 00:29:32,873 Have you ever had a polyps, love? 682 00:29:32,867 --> 00:29:34,067 - Not that I know of. 683 00:29:34,067 --> 00:29:35,927 - They're like bloody snipers. 684 00:29:35,933 --> 00:29:39,073 Pop up when you least expect it and cause naught but grief. 685 00:29:39,067 --> 00:29:40,767 Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. 686 00:29:44,133 --> 00:29:45,173 - All right, Denise? 687 00:29:46,067 --> 00:29:47,097 - Fancy a drink, love? 688 00:29:47,100 --> 00:29:48,070 - Oh, no thanks. 689 00:29:48,067 --> 00:29:49,127 I'm not drinking. 690 00:29:50,233 --> 00:29:51,733 And before you ask, 691 00:29:51,733 --> 00:29:54,103 I don't want to meet you in town for coffee, either. 692 00:29:54,100 --> 00:29:55,130 Nor lunch. 693 00:29:55,133 --> 00:29:57,873 Not even a nice little bistro. 694 00:29:57,867 --> 00:29:58,797 I don't like the cinema. 695 00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:00,400 I hate walking in the park. 696 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:01,330 I despise sushi. 697 00:30:01,333 --> 00:30:02,573 I don't like cocktails 698 00:30:02,567 --> 00:30:03,997 and I don't want a relationship, okay? 699 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,670 - I don't want a relationship. 700 00:30:05,667 --> 00:30:07,967 My bird's coming in half an hour. 701 00:30:07,967 --> 00:30:11,427 Just thought you might want a drink that's all. 702 00:30:11,433 --> 00:30:12,273 - Oops! 703 00:30:15,733 --> 00:30:17,733 - Oh, I'm a right idiot. 704 00:30:18,633 --> 00:30:19,473 - What's happened? 705 00:30:19,467 --> 00:30:21,627 (sighs) 706 00:30:21,633 --> 00:30:24,333 - I wish I was a bit more like you sometimes, Shelley. 707 00:30:25,233 --> 00:30:26,173 - How do you mean? 708 00:30:26,167 --> 00:30:28,127 - You just don't take any shit. 709 00:30:28,133 --> 00:30:30,203 Nothing gets past you, does it? 710 00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:31,370 I mean, obviously we all know, 711 00:30:31,367 --> 00:30:33,297 you let Greg get away with murder but, 712 00:30:33,300 --> 00:30:35,430 but think about it. 713 00:30:35,433 --> 00:30:38,173 Everyone's got an Achilles tendon, haven't they? 714 00:30:39,733 --> 00:30:40,703 - I suppose they have. 715 00:30:40,700 --> 00:30:41,970 - We're all a bit of pushover 716 00:30:41,967 --> 00:30:43,867 when it comes to fellas, us birds. 717 00:30:43,867 --> 00:30:45,067 Doesn't take away from the fact 718 00:30:45,067 --> 00:30:47,597 that you're total dynamite at work though. 719 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:48,400 Does it? 720 00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:51,000 Oh, well. 721 00:31:00,733 --> 00:31:01,533 - Well? 722 00:31:05,433 --> 00:31:06,273 Ta da! 723 00:31:10,433 --> 00:31:11,273 Dan? 724 00:31:13,533 --> 00:31:14,773 You okay, love? 725 00:31:21,067 --> 00:31:21,827 Oh! 726 00:31:23,467 --> 00:31:24,297 - Oh? 727 00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:27,600 Is that all you've got to say? 728 00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:29,070 Oh? 729 00:31:29,067 --> 00:31:30,597 - If you just give a chance to explain. 730 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,130 - Explain what? 731 00:31:32,133 --> 00:31:33,503 That you're a nut job? 732 00:31:33,500 --> 00:31:34,330 - Don't be ridiculous. 733 00:31:34,333 --> 00:31:35,633 - Go on then, explain. 734 00:31:36,667 --> 00:31:38,397 This is my wedding photo. 735 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:39,330 - I know. 736 00:31:39,333 --> 00:31:40,373 - You stole it. 737 00:31:40,367 --> 00:31:41,627 You nicked it from my house. 738 00:31:41,633 --> 00:31:42,873 You broke in. 739 00:31:42,867 --> 00:31:44,827 What else have you took, you fuckin' weirdo? 740 00:31:44,833 --> 00:31:47,073 My toothbrush, my shoes. 741 00:31:47,067 --> 00:31:49,427 Pair of duds from the washing basket. 742 00:31:49,433 --> 00:31:50,673 - You don't understand. 743 00:31:50,667 --> 00:31:52,067 - Oh, I think I do. 744 00:31:52,067 --> 00:31:53,267 - No, ya don't! 745 00:31:55,767 --> 00:31:57,927 You think it's been easy for me, 746 00:31:57,933 --> 00:32:00,833 since I lost Martin, and then you're always here 747 00:32:00,833 --> 00:32:03,403 every five minutes, oh, it's fine, Kate. 748 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:05,300 I'll get you new taps, Kate. 749 00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:06,530 Of course I can, Kate. 750 00:32:06,533 --> 00:32:08,233 I'll keep a secret with you, Kate. 751 00:32:08,233 --> 00:32:09,673 Anything you want, Kate. 752 00:32:09,667 --> 00:32:13,267 Oh, and you make a cracking bacon sandwich, Kate. 753 00:32:13,267 --> 00:32:15,067 You were seducing me. 754 00:32:15,067 --> 00:32:16,867 And I fancied ya! 755 00:32:17,867 --> 00:32:18,797 What did you expect from me? 756 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:19,900 To run a mile? 757 00:32:19,900 --> 00:32:21,670 You've burgled my house. 758 00:32:21,667 --> 00:32:25,067 You've stuck your face, on a photo of my wife. 759 00:32:25,067 --> 00:32:26,497 That's my wife! 760 00:32:26,500 --> 00:32:27,970 That's my wedding day. 761 00:32:27,967 --> 00:32:29,167 How dare you? 762 00:32:29,167 --> 00:32:30,397 - She doesn't want you anymore. 763 00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:31,670 The sooner you see it, the better. 764 00:32:31,667 --> 00:32:34,097 - You know nothing about what Lisa wants. 765 00:32:34,100 --> 00:32:36,370 People move on, people change. 766 00:32:38,300 --> 00:32:41,070 I know you're angry and upset. 767 00:32:41,067 --> 00:32:42,897 But, that's just the shock of seeing the photo. 768 00:32:42,900 --> 00:32:44,070 It's just a photo. 769 00:32:44,067 --> 00:32:45,297 It's not real. 770 00:32:46,900 --> 00:32:48,830 You and I can move on from this, Dan please. 771 00:32:48,833 --> 00:32:49,633 - You and I? 772 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:52,430 You and I? 773 00:32:52,433 --> 00:32:55,273 You really are a fuckin' lunatic, aren't ya? 774 00:32:55,267 --> 00:32:56,327 - Just give me a chance. 775 00:32:56,333 --> 00:32:58,273 - You? (laughs) 776 00:32:58,267 --> 00:32:59,427 You got one chance. 777 00:32:59,433 --> 00:33:01,733 And that's no chance, ya silly cow. 778 00:33:01,733 --> 00:33:03,433 We could make this work though, Dan. 779 00:33:03,433 --> 00:33:04,433 I know it. Please. 780 00:33:04,433 --> 00:33:06,233 It was all bullshit, wasn't it? 781 00:33:06,233 --> 00:33:08,333 All that about Lisa and Jack. 782 00:33:08,333 --> 00:33:09,573 - No, I saw them kissing. 783 00:33:09,567 --> 00:33:12,367 Just 'cause you fancied your chances with me. 784 00:33:12,367 --> 00:33:15,267 You could have ruined my marriage. 785 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,070 What are you gonna do, eh? 786 00:33:22,067 --> 00:33:24,827 Bump me off, like you did your poor bastard of a husband. 787 00:33:24,833 --> 00:33:26,603 I don't think so somehow. 788 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,170 You've got a head full of fairground music, 789 00:33:28,167 --> 00:33:29,497 you have, haven't ya? 790 00:33:29,500 --> 00:33:30,300 You freak. 791 00:33:37,067 --> 00:33:37,867 Pathetic. 792 00:33:45,700 --> 00:33:48,400 - Can we have Barry and Sue on the dance floor please? 793 00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:51,130 (crowd applauds) 794 00:33:55,200 --> 00:34:00,130 Now we all know Barry and Sue in one way or another. 795 00:34:00,133 --> 00:34:02,103 And we've all come here tonight 796 00:34:02,100 --> 00:34:05,870 to celebrate 40 years of wedded bliss. 797 00:34:05,867 --> 00:34:07,597 - Stop talking shit. 798 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,230 (laughing) 799 00:34:10,233 --> 00:34:12,073 Thanks everyone for coming. 800 00:34:12,067 --> 00:34:15,727 And thanks for your patience with the missing buffet. 801 00:34:15,733 --> 00:34:18,973 I can assure you, it's on its way as we speak. 802 00:34:18,967 --> 00:34:20,167 Um. 803 00:34:20,167 --> 00:34:21,067 Well. 804 00:34:21,067 --> 00:34:22,727 I just like to say. 805 00:34:22,733 --> 00:34:24,873 Thanks, really. 806 00:34:24,867 --> 00:34:26,897 I suppose. 807 00:34:26,900 --> 00:34:28,200 To my mum and dad. 808 00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:31,170 And sorry, 'cause I know 809 00:34:31,167 --> 00:34:33,067 I can be a bit of a pain in the arse. 810 00:34:33,867 --> 00:34:34,897 Oh, I'm so sorry. 811 00:34:34,900 --> 00:34:36,300 This is shit. 812 00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:37,970 - It's great, carry on. 813 00:34:37,967 --> 00:34:42,327 Well, basically they bought me whatever I wanted, 814 00:34:42,333 --> 00:34:44,933 every single Christmas, since I was naught, 815 00:34:46,067 --> 00:34:48,427 which is so bloody kind. 816 00:34:48,433 --> 00:34:52,103 And my mum helps me with me washing. 817 00:34:52,100 --> 00:34:54,470 'Cause I just can't do it without shrinking things 818 00:34:54,467 --> 00:34:56,197 and running the colors together. 819 00:34:56,200 --> 00:35:00,830 Ask Dan how badly I ruin his shirts when he gets here. 820 00:35:01,967 --> 00:35:03,797 Honest, just ask. 821 00:35:09,133 --> 00:35:12,473 And my dad, he keeps our garden so neat. 822 00:35:13,700 --> 00:35:15,430 'Cause Dan can't do it you see, 823 00:35:15,433 --> 00:35:17,973 'cause he's allergic to grass. 824 00:35:17,967 --> 00:35:19,497 (laughing) 825 00:35:19,500 --> 00:35:22,300 And I wish he would hurry up, so that you could ask him. 826 00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:25,200 I just wish he'd hurry up. 827 00:35:31,467 --> 00:35:33,067 Mum. 828 00:35:33,067 --> 00:35:34,267 Dad. 829 00:35:34,267 --> 00:35:35,097 Thank you. 830 00:35:37,567 --> 00:35:39,567 I just think you're ace. 831 00:35:40,767 --> 00:35:44,067 - Round of applause for Lisa, everyone. 832 00:35:49,833 --> 00:35:53,373 And now I'm gonna put on a very special song. 833 00:35:53,367 --> 00:35:56,427 For the very wonderful Mr. and Mrs. H. 834 00:35:56,433 --> 00:35:58,773 - Oh, it's all right, Mum. 835 00:35:58,767 --> 00:36:00,427 It's just the lager talking. 836 00:36:01,267 --> 00:36:02,097 Go on. 837 00:36:05,967 --> 00:36:08,227 (cheering) 838 00:36:14,967 --> 00:36:16,467 * I'm a girl 839 00:36:16,467 --> 00:36:19,067 * You're a man 840 00:36:20,167 --> 00:36:21,897 - Please, Shell, just dance with me. 841 00:36:28,300 --> 00:36:30,530 (chuckles) 842 00:36:31,733 --> 00:36:33,803 - Hey, love, where was I? 843 00:36:38,100 --> 00:36:40,330 - Oi, get your hands off my missus. 844 00:36:43,167 --> 00:36:44,067 - Oh! Jim! 845 00:36:50,667 --> 00:36:52,097 - Can we go outside? 846 00:36:52,100 --> 00:36:52,930 - What? Now? 847 00:36:52,933 --> 00:36:53,773 - Yeah. Now. 848 00:36:53,767 --> 00:36:54,597 - Too right. 849 00:37:00,667 --> 00:37:02,867 Fancy a jive, my love? 850 00:37:02,867 --> 00:37:04,067 - I'll jive with you, Terry. 851 00:37:04,067 --> 00:37:05,327 But you've got another think coming, 852 00:37:05,333 --> 00:37:06,573 if you think it's gonna lead 853 00:37:06,567 --> 00:37:08,697 to anything to do with your truncheon. 854 00:37:16,633 --> 00:37:17,633 - No Greg. 855 00:37:17,633 --> 00:37:18,303 - I'll be taking 'em off already. 856 00:37:18,300 --> 00:37:19,530 - Stop it. 857 00:37:19,533 --> 00:37:20,973 Stop it for one minute, will you? 858 00:37:22,500 --> 00:37:23,330 - What's the matter? 859 00:37:23,333 --> 00:37:24,173 - It's us. 860 00:37:26,167 --> 00:37:27,267 I want to finish. 861 00:37:29,700 --> 00:37:30,870 - No, you don't. 862 00:37:30,867 --> 00:37:32,797 - I can't be with you anymore. 863 00:37:35,900 --> 00:37:37,570 And I'm leaving ya for good. 864 00:37:38,867 --> 00:37:39,697 This time. 865 00:37:41,067 --> 00:37:41,867 - Babes? 866 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:44,630 - You promised me no more lies. 867 00:37:44,633 --> 00:37:45,473 - I haven't lied. 868 00:37:45,467 --> 00:37:46,697 What have I lied about? 869 00:37:46,700 --> 00:37:47,970 - You had a car crash, didn't you? 870 00:37:47,967 --> 00:37:49,867 You had a car crash. 871 00:37:49,867 --> 00:37:51,227 And you didn't even tell me about it. 872 00:37:51,233 --> 00:37:52,933 Why wouldn't you tell me? 873 00:37:52,933 --> 00:37:55,633 - We were playing cards. 874 00:37:55,633 --> 00:37:56,573 I'm sorry. 875 00:37:56,567 --> 00:37:57,827 I thought you'd kick off. 876 00:37:57,833 --> 00:38:00,303 - So, you lied and said you were mugged instead. 877 00:38:00,300 --> 00:38:01,830 Can you not see how bad that is? 878 00:38:01,833 --> 00:38:03,073 It's twisted. 879 00:38:03,067 --> 00:38:05,567 But, you can't help yourself, can you? 880 00:38:05,567 --> 00:38:08,067 Nothing is normal anymore. 881 00:38:08,067 --> 00:38:11,227 You have fucked it all up. 882 00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:15,403 And I don't want this anymore. 883 00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:16,330 - But you love me. 884 00:38:16,333 --> 00:38:17,703 - No, it's not enough. 885 00:38:17,700 --> 00:38:18,500 - You love me, don't you? - Greg, I said, 886 00:38:18,500 --> 00:38:20,600 it is not enough, Greg. 887 00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:22,500 I can't live like this. 888 00:38:22,500 --> 00:38:24,130 Bricking it, when the postman comes around 889 00:38:24,133 --> 00:38:27,073 to bring me a parcel, that's your fault. 890 00:38:27,067 --> 00:38:30,597 That bastard that came round, he nearly broke my jaw. 891 00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,330 Every time there's a knock on the door. 892 00:38:32,333 --> 00:38:33,703 I think, that it's him coming back round 893 00:38:33,700 --> 00:38:35,600 to knock my teeth in or something. 894 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,430 And he took my car. 895 00:38:37,433 --> 00:38:38,273 What else, Greg? 896 00:38:38,267 --> 00:38:39,727 What else? 897 00:38:39,733 --> 00:38:42,603 And they are gonna come and take it and it's all your fault. 898 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:43,730 I've had enough. 899 00:38:45,833 --> 00:38:49,773 Yes, Greg, I love ya. 900 00:38:5263013

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