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1
00:00:01,633 --> 00:00:04,573
(electronic music)
2
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,770
(upbeat music)
3
00:00:34,767 --> 00:00:37,467
(cheerful music)
4
00:00:47,767 --> 00:00:49,427
- Mwah!
5
00:00:49,433 --> 00:00:50,403
- Have a nice afternoon.
6
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,330
- Don't do anything I wouldn't.
7
00:00:52,333 --> 00:00:55,033
- [Both] At least
not without me!
8
00:01:34,133 --> 00:01:34,973
- Hiya.
9
00:01:34,967 --> 00:01:36,167
Drinks?
10
00:01:36,167 --> 00:01:37,567
- White wine and soda, please.
11
00:01:37,567 --> 00:01:41,097
And you make sure it's
definitely soda, not lemonade?
12
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:42,630
- Coke, ta.
13
00:01:42,633 --> 00:01:44,973
Me and Greg are on
the wine a bit water.
14
00:01:44,967 --> 00:01:47,727
- Coke for me too, thanks.
15
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,873
Hey, that new Italian's
opening next Thursday.
16
00:01:50,867 --> 00:01:53,267
We should go, make
a night of it.
17
00:01:53,267 --> 00:01:55,327
- I can't, anniversary.
18
00:01:55,333 --> 00:01:56,573
- Ah, is it?
19
00:01:56,567 --> 00:01:57,967
Brill, how long now, Lisa?
20
00:01:57,967 --> 00:01:58,897
- 10 years.
21
00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:01,070
- (gasps) How quick!
22
00:02:01,067 --> 00:02:02,527
It only feels like last month.
23
00:02:02,533 --> 00:02:04,673
- Like you could
remember even if it was,
24
00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:06,227
state you were in. (laughs)
25
00:02:06,233 --> 00:02:08,673
- Isn't 10 years
an important one?
26
00:02:08,667 --> 00:02:10,167
- They're all important, Denise.
27
00:02:10,167 --> 00:02:11,967
Me and Greg are coming
up to four years now.
28
00:02:11,967 --> 00:02:13,497
Even that is important.
29
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,470
- Is he getting
you anything nice?
30
00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:16,927
- What's the tradition
for 10 years?
31
00:02:16,933 --> 00:02:17,933
- Tin.
32
00:02:17,933 --> 00:02:19,203
- Tin?
33
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,300
What can he buy you
that's made of tin?
34
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:22,230
- Bugger all.
35
00:02:22,233 --> 00:02:24,603
He'll forget anyway, I bet ya.
36
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,500
- Thanks for this, Dan.
37
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:28,930
I hope you don't think
I take advantage.
38
00:02:28,933 --> 00:02:30,273
- Don't be daft.
39
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:34,770
There you go, all done.
40
00:02:34,767 --> 00:02:36,097
- Do I owe you anything?
41
00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:37,130
- Oh, don't worry about it.
42
00:02:37,133 --> 00:02:39,333
I've only been here 10 minutes.
43
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:43,333
- What is it about a
man in his work gear?
44
00:02:43,333 --> 00:02:44,733
- What time is Jim home?
45
00:02:44,733 --> 00:02:45,573
- Who?
46
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:51,627
(laughs) Oh, you're
such a mugger, Dan
47
00:02:52,533 --> 00:02:53,933
I'm just messing.
48
00:02:53,933 --> 00:02:55,703
Just messing.
49
00:02:55,700 --> 00:02:56,770
Fret not.
50
00:02:56,767 --> 00:02:59,327
He won't be back til gone six.
51
00:02:59,333 --> 00:03:01,303
Are you hungry?
52
00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:04,300
- Um, I should be
getting a move on.
53
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,700
- Lisa's not back yet, is she?
54
00:03:09,300 --> 00:03:10,370
Mm, fish pie.
55
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:13,530
- Fish pie?
56
00:03:17,367 --> 00:03:19,597
- Hey, I've just had a thought.
57
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,070
- Three-minute warning.
58
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:24,097
- How many years
is 10 in and years?
59
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:24,930
- 70, why?
60
00:03:26,367 --> 00:03:29,067
- Pretend you're a and and
ask for a diamond, then.
61
00:03:29,067 --> 00:03:31,267
- Oh, that's 60
years, it's not 70.
62
00:03:31,267 --> 00:03:33,567
- And I'm not a and,
thank you very much.
63
00:03:33,567 --> 00:03:35,097
- Good point.
64
00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:37,300
- Ready to order
your food, ladies?
65
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,330
- Carolina chicken
burger, please.
66
00:03:39,333 --> 00:03:41,803
And can I have a pot of
thousand island on the side?
67
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,370
Oh, and actually,
could I have a slice
68
00:03:43,367 --> 00:03:44,967
of melted cheese on the burger?
69
00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:46,227
Thanks.
70
00:03:46,233 --> 00:03:47,773
And a pot of cole
slaw on the side.
71
00:03:47,767 --> 00:03:50,667
And two loaded skins,
one mushroom, one cheese.
72
00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:52,767
Can you fry the
mushrooms for me, please?
73
00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:54,497
And can I have a
dollop of sour cream
74
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:57,530
in the middle of the
skins, not on the side.
75
00:03:57,533 --> 00:04:00,503
And a portion of onion
rings, if you can.
76
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:01,470
- On the side?
77
00:04:01,467 --> 00:04:02,367
- Please.
78
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,197
- Fries?
79
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,300
- No, thanks.
80
00:04:06,467 --> 00:04:07,727
I'm being good.
81
00:04:15,767 --> 00:04:17,697
(door closes)
82
00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:19,430
I'm really sorry.
83
00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:20,873
We ended up eating.
84
00:04:20,867 --> 00:04:22,067
Shelley said it was her treat.
85
00:04:22,067 --> 00:04:23,367
How could I refuse?
86
00:04:23,367 --> 00:04:24,297
- You've eaten?
87
00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:25,230
- Yeah, I'm sorry.
88
00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:26,073
- Oh, thank God for that.
89
00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:27,397
So have I.
90
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,630
- Oh.
91
00:04:28,633 --> 00:04:30,673
I got you this to
make up for it.
92
00:04:30,667 --> 00:04:31,897
I felt dead sorry for you,
93
00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:34,070
sat here on your own,
all starvin' Marvin.
94
00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:34,867
- I don't believe it.
95
00:04:34,867 --> 00:04:35,827
That's mental.
96
00:04:35,833 --> 00:04:36,703
Unbelievable.
97
00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:38,330
Talk about Derren Brown.
98
00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:39,273
- What?
99
00:04:39,267 --> 00:04:41,367
- Bianca made a fish pie.
100
00:04:41,367 --> 00:04:42,367
- Excuse me?
101
00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:43,567
- Bianca made a--
102
00:04:43,567 --> 00:04:46,367
- Yeah, I heard
you the first time.
103
00:04:46,367 --> 00:04:47,397
- Is there something wrong?
104
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:48,370
- Uh, yes.
105
00:04:48,367 --> 00:04:50,067
- Uh, what?
106
00:04:50,067 --> 00:04:52,667
- I felt tight, Dan,
'cause I never do fish pie.
107
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:53,927
'Cause I hate it.
108
00:04:53,933 --> 00:04:55,273
And you're always
going on about it.
109
00:04:55,267 --> 00:04:57,427
Oh, Lisa, let's go
down the Dog & Dart.
110
00:04:57,433 --> 00:04:59,233
They do a crackin' fish pie.
111
00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:00,303
So I got you one.
112
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,100
Look.
113
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:02,330
And then I come home,
114
00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:04,103
and you haven't even got
the decency to call me
115
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:06,130
or even text to tell
me you've had your face
116
00:05:06,133 --> 00:05:07,473
fed, and to top it all,
117
00:05:07,467 --> 00:05:09,767
you've had your face fed
by Miss Skimpy Knickers!
118
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:12,427
What was for pudding, a blowjob?
119
00:05:14,667 --> 00:05:16,067
- You've been out
with your friends.
120
00:05:16,067 --> 00:05:17,297
You've fed your
face, haven't you?
121
00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:18,800
You didn't tell me, did ya?
122
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,770
- That is completely different.
123
00:05:20,767 --> 00:05:21,597
(door closes)
124
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:22,630
- [Sue] Yoo-hoo!
125
00:05:22,633 --> 00:05:24,433
It's only me.
126
00:05:24,433 --> 00:05:25,273
- Hi, Mom.
127
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,570
- Buy one, get one free!
128
00:05:27,567 --> 00:05:28,397
Have you eaten?
129
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:29,230
- He has.
130
00:05:29,233 --> 00:05:30,173
- So's she.
131
00:05:30,167 --> 00:05:31,397
- But I didn't plan on it!
132
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,230
It was a
spur-of-the-moment thing.
133
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:34,633
You'd be cross with Dad
if he'd had his face
134
00:05:34,633 --> 00:05:37,173
fed by Bianca without
checking if you'd eaten first,
135
00:05:37,167 --> 00:05:38,167
wouldn't you, Mom?
136
00:05:38,167 --> 00:05:39,767
- Don't mention your father.
137
00:05:39,767 --> 00:05:41,297
- What's up?
138
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:43,270
- We're disagreeing
over something.
139
00:05:43,267 --> 00:05:44,227
- What now?
140
00:05:44,233 --> 00:05:45,673
- Fashion.
141
00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:46,897
He needs a mew coat,
142
00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:49,370
and I think he should
have a leather one.
143
00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:52,067
He's insisting on
another anorak.
144
00:05:52,067 --> 00:05:55,767
We've got that coach trip
to York a week on Friday.
145
00:05:55,767 --> 00:05:58,297
I'm sick of him looking
like the village idiot.
146
00:05:58,300 --> 00:06:01,430
Every time we go somewhere nice.
147
00:06:01,433 --> 00:06:03,403
There you are, love.
148
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,770
And when did your
father ever insist
149
00:06:05,767 --> 00:06:08,197
on anything to do with fashion?
150
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,770
- Midlife crisis, Sue.
151
00:06:09,767 --> 00:06:10,627
- What, Barry?
152
00:06:10,633 --> 00:06:12,333
A crisis? (laughs)
153
00:06:12,333 --> 00:06:13,603
- Seriously.
154
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:15,070
Classic symptom.
155
00:06:15,067 --> 00:06:16,967
Suddenly givin' a shit
about what you look like.
156
00:06:16,967 --> 00:06:18,327
(door closes)
157
00:06:18,333 --> 00:06:19,403
- Yo, kids.
158
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,070
Hey, eBay, 14 quid.
159
00:06:21,933 --> 00:06:24,203
49.99 in the shops.
160
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,400
Kaching!
161
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,070
Eh?
162
00:06:27,067 --> 00:06:29,467
Come here, my precious
little Cabbage Patch doll.
163
00:06:29,467 --> 00:06:30,597
- [Lisa] Hiya, Dad!
164
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:31,870
- Hi, love.
165
00:06:31,867 --> 00:06:33,067
Now, where do you
want them shelves?
166
00:06:33,067 --> 00:06:34,527
- Oh, in here.
167
00:06:34,533 --> 00:06:37,103
(sultry music)
168
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:58,497
- All right, gorgeous.
169
00:06:58,500 --> 00:06:59,400
- Greg!
170
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:00,700
- Good day?
171
00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:02,500
- A bottle of wine
and a DVD, remember?
172
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,100
I thought you'd be home.
173
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:05,570
- I was just on my way.
174
00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:07,427
- It doesn't look like that
from where I'm standing.
175
00:07:07,433 --> 00:07:10,073
What did I say to
you this morning?
176
00:07:10,067 --> 00:07:11,597
One pint is fine,
177
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:12,630
stay off the fruit machine,
178
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:13,733
and don't be late back.
179
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:15,573
How hard can that be, Greg?
180
00:07:15,567 --> 00:07:17,127
- Lighten up, foxy.
181
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:19,330
Shelley!
182
00:07:20,533 --> 00:07:21,373
Shelley!
183
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,830
(game dings)
184
00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:28,430
(gentle music)
185
00:07:28,433 --> 00:07:33,233
* Shining light
every time you die *
186
00:07:33,233 --> 00:07:35,573
* Can't put out the fire
187
00:07:35,567 --> 00:07:38,467
* In my heart
188
00:07:38,467 --> 00:07:43,167
* It's burning up
right from the start *
189
00:07:43,167 --> 00:07:44,667
- I'm sorry, okay?
190
00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:48,073
And I don't fancy Bianca.
191
00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:49,897
- You've not even tried
to look up her skirt?
192
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:50,730
- Never.
193
00:07:53,767 --> 00:07:57,527
You're my wife, and I
love you, and only you.
194
00:07:59,167 --> 00:08:00,727
- Two for the price of one!
195
00:08:00,733 --> 00:08:04,303
Do you want me to do
your bog before we go?
196
00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:16,130
- Lisa, Dan.
197
00:08:16,133 --> 00:08:16,973
- Hi, Kate.
198
00:08:16,967 --> 00:08:17,797
How's it going?
199
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:18,630
- How you keeping?
200
00:08:18,633 --> 00:08:19,933
- Good, thanks.
201
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,573
Ta-da!
202
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,067
- [Lisa] Yours?
203
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:25,097
- Martin's life
insurance came through.
204
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:26,630
- That's brilliant!
205
00:08:26,633 --> 00:08:27,803
I mean, it's not brilliant.
206
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,070
- I know what you mean, Lisa.
207
00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:30,967
- It's brilliant that
you're moving on.
208
00:08:30,967 --> 00:08:32,397
- It feels right.
209
00:08:35,367 --> 00:08:38,727
Actually, Dan, would you have
a look at the loos for me?
210
00:08:38,733 --> 00:08:40,403
They just need a
bit of attention.
211
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:41,870
- Sure, just give us a ring.
212
00:08:41,867 --> 00:08:43,067
- Is later okay?
213
00:08:43,067 --> 00:08:44,397
- Any time.
214
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,570
- Thanks.
215
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:48,767
- See you soon, love.
- See you soon.
216
00:08:48,767 --> 00:08:51,067
- She needs to start gettin'
herself back out to the pub.
217
00:08:51,067 --> 00:08:53,697
- She needs a makeover
first, the poor cow.
218
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,300
(upbeat music)
219
00:09:01,367 --> 00:09:03,127
- Oh, very smart.
220
00:09:03,133 --> 00:09:04,173
- It's the new me.
221
00:09:04,167 --> 00:09:06,527
No more messin' about.
222
00:09:06,533 --> 00:09:08,133
I've dumped Fergus.
223
00:09:09,533 --> 00:09:10,473
- What's happened?
224
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:11,727
Has his wallet been nicked?
225
00:09:11,733 --> 00:09:13,773
- Keep your voice down, Talia.
226
00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:15,397
Last thing I need is
Shelley finding out
227
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,070
after I've got away
with it this long.
228
00:09:17,067 --> 00:09:17,867
- It's all right.
229
00:09:17,867 --> 00:09:19,967
She's not in yet.
230
00:09:19,967 --> 00:09:22,297
- You were right, weren't you?
231
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,100
He were never gonna
leave his wife.
232
00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:26,570
- She's finally seen the light.
233
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:29,727
God, Denise, you can do so
much better than Fergus.
234
00:09:29,733 --> 00:09:32,073
- He can do so much
better than me, you mean.
235
00:09:32,067 --> 00:09:34,097
- Don't put yourself
down, Denise.
236
00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:36,870
One man's treasure is
another man's trash.
237
00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:38,627
Always remember that.
238
00:09:42,967 --> 00:09:45,197
- Lisa, any sign of
what Dan's gettin' ya
239
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,630
for your anniversary yet?
240
00:09:46,633 --> 00:09:47,633
- Fuck all at this rate.
241
00:09:47,633 --> 00:09:48,933
He's not even mentioned it.
242
00:09:48,933 --> 00:09:50,303
- Oh.
243
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:51,800
- What have you come as?
244
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:55,270
- I'd like to register for
some temp work, please.
245
00:09:55,267 --> 00:09:57,367
- I've even sorted
myself out with a date.
246
00:09:57,367 --> 00:09:58,367
- Already?
247
00:09:58,367 --> 00:09:59,627
- I need to move on.
248
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:00,573
Went online.
249
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:01,927
He's called Kevin.
250
00:10:01,933 --> 00:10:04,003
He's got his own
business and a townhouse.
251
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:04,830
- Ooh.
252
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,070
- My office, now, please.
253
00:10:11,067 --> 00:10:12,227
I've left him.
254
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,530
I need a favor.
255
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,633
Me and Greg had a
big row last night.
256
00:10:18,633 --> 00:10:21,073
He thinks that I'm naggin' him.
257
00:10:21,067 --> 00:10:22,067
- What about?
258
00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:24,767
- Generally his whole existence.
259
00:10:24,767 --> 00:10:26,297
- What's he been doing?
260
00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:27,770
- What's he not been doing?
261
00:10:27,767 --> 00:10:30,427
It's like he doesn't
give a shit any more.
262
00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:31,573
If he was any more laid back,
263
00:10:31,567 --> 00:10:33,527
he'd be in a friggin' coma.
264
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:34,703
- Isn't that why
you fell in love
265
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:36,900
with him in the first place?
266
00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:39,500
- And I've told him he
needs to stop gambling.
267
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,330
- A pint next to the
fruit machine every now
268
00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:43,273
and again is hardly
midnight poker, Shelley.
269
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:44,227
- Every now and again?
270
00:10:44,233 --> 00:10:46,103
Lisa, it's more than that.
271
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:49,030
He spends half his Saturday
down the bookies these days.
272
00:10:49,033 --> 00:10:51,833
- Oh, just give him a good
kick up the ass, girl.
273
00:10:51,833 --> 00:10:52,803
- I already have done.
274
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,530
I told him, it needs to stop.
275
00:10:54,533 --> 00:10:55,773
He didn't like it.
276
00:10:55,767 --> 00:10:58,267
He told me I'm the
one with the problem.
277
00:10:58,267 --> 00:11:01,527
It's like he won't
even acknowledge it!
278
00:11:01,533 --> 00:11:04,673
It all went a bit far,
and I walked out on him.
279
00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:06,797
- Ooh, that's a bit drastic.
280
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,630
- He needs to face up to it.
281
00:11:08,633 --> 00:11:09,833
I had to show him I was serious.
282
00:11:09,833 --> 00:11:11,233
You know what he's like.
283
00:11:11,233 --> 00:11:12,703
- Bloody hell, Shelley.
284
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:14,130
Where are you staying?
285
00:11:14,133 --> 00:11:15,733
- That's the favor.
286
00:11:18,567 --> 00:11:19,397
- Mine?
287
00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:23,070
- [Dan] It better had
be just a few days!
288
00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:24,767
- Like I've got much choice.
289
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:28,097
Trust me to have me
boss as a best mate.
290
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:31,827
- Fancy a bit?
291
00:11:39,267 --> 00:11:41,127
Quickie if you're knackered.
292
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:44,703
- I tell you what, d'you
fancy it up the ass?
293
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:45,970
- Yeah!
294
00:11:45,967 --> 00:11:48,927
(cell phone chimes)
295
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:52,530
- How did it go?
296
00:11:52,533 --> 00:11:53,633
- Honest truth?
297
00:11:53,633 --> 00:11:54,773
- Obviously.
298
00:11:54,767 --> 00:11:56,667
- (sighs) My granddad was right.
299
00:11:56,667 --> 00:11:58,527
He used to tell me
the world is flat
300
00:11:58,533 --> 00:12:01,873
and if I venture out too
far, I'll fall off the edge.
301
00:12:01,867 --> 00:12:02,697
- Oh.
302
00:12:03,833 --> 00:12:05,173
- From now on I'm
gonna stick to hangin'
303
00:12:05,167 --> 00:12:07,797
around the meals-for-one
section at the co-op.
304
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:11,370
Maybe I'll just meet
someone there instead.
305
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:16,797
(radio morning show playing)
306
00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:23,567
- Morning.
307
00:12:23,567 --> 00:12:24,467
- Morning.
308
00:12:24,467 --> 00:12:25,297
- Coffee?
309
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:35,970
- You're late, aren't ya?
310
00:12:35,967 --> 00:12:36,797
- Uh.
311
00:12:37,767 --> 00:12:40,497
(doorbell rings)
312
00:12:43,967 --> 00:12:45,297
- Morning, Bianca.
313
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:46,370
- Is he in?
314
00:12:46,367 --> 00:12:48,127
It's friggin' welded.
315
00:12:50,833 --> 00:12:51,633
Oh.
316
00:12:53,833 --> 00:12:55,133
Any idea who's moving in?
317
00:12:55,133 --> 00:12:56,503
- [Lisa] None whatsoever.
318
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:57,970
- About time.
319
00:12:57,967 --> 00:12:59,867
They might get that
garden sorted out at last.
320
00:12:59,867 --> 00:13:01,897
Right old mess.
321
00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,570
Oh, morning, Dan.
322
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:05,667
You'll know what
I mean, eh, cock?
323
00:13:05,667 --> 00:13:10,667
Nowt worse than an overgrown
bush, is there? (laughs)
324
00:13:15,167 --> 00:13:16,667
- Silly old trout.
325
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,370
(cheerful music)
326
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:30,730
- There you go, Jim.
327
00:13:30,733 --> 00:13:31,803
- Lovely, ta.
328
00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:36,570
Oh, raspberry or passion
fruit, by the way?
329
00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:37,497
- What?
330
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:40,300
- Raspberry or passion fruit?
331
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:41,570
- You've lost me.
332
00:13:41,567 --> 00:13:45,067
- Pavlova, for afters, tonight?
333
00:13:45,067 --> 00:13:47,067
- Oh, God, you're doing Pavlova.
334
00:13:47,067 --> 00:13:48,067
Totally forgot.
335
00:13:48,067 --> 00:13:49,397
Brain like a friggin' sieve.
336
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,230
Sorry.
337
00:13:51,533 --> 00:13:54,203
- Well raspberry, passion fruit?
338
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,330
- I tell you what,
Samson, you decide.
339
00:14:01,067 --> 00:14:03,567
(upbeat music)
340
00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:09,200
- Okay.
341
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:10,070
Interests.
342
00:14:13,067 --> 00:14:13,927
Football?
343
00:14:13,933 --> 00:14:15,503
Ugh, no thanks.
344
00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:16,770
- Why not?
345
00:14:16,767 --> 00:14:17,867
You could have all
day every Saturday
346
00:14:17,867 --> 00:14:18,927
just to pamper yourself.
347
00:14:18,933 --> 00:14:19,873
I do.
348
00:14:19,867 --> 00:14:21,327
- I don't think so, somehow.
349
00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:24,773
When a man goes out with me,
he needs to be available 24/10.
350
00:14:24,767 --> 00:14:26,527
Enjoys good food and wine.
351
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,133
- Oh, nice, cultured.
352
00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:30,533
- All the weight, you mean.
353
00:14:30,533 --> 00:14:33,273
Oh God, four dating sites
354
00:14:33,267 --> 00:14:35,597
and not a decent
bloke on any of them.
355
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:36,530
- I'm late for yoga.
356
00:14:36,533 --> 00:14:38,073
Lisa, you're covering for me.
357
00:14:38,067 --> 00:14:40,297
I'm expecting a call from
the new finance director.
358
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:41,730
- [Lisa] Is there anything
I should be aware of?
359
00:14:41,733 --> 00:14:43,073
- God, yeah.
360
00:14:43,067 --> 00:14:44,467
He's got a sexy voice,
all deep and throaty.
361
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:45,867
Keep your legs crossed.
362
00:14:45,867 --> 00:14:47,427
Seriously, it's just targets.
363
00:14:47,433 --> 00:14:48,373
File's on my desk.
364
00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:50,367
Nothing you can't handle.
365
00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:54,397
- They're all decent, Denise.
366
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,700
You just need to give
people more of a chance.
367
00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:58,930
- You won't be sayin' that
when I get serial killed, Lisa.
368
00:14:58,933 --> 00:15:01,973
Nowt wrong with a bit
of cautious selection.
369
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:04,227
Oh, he looks nice.
370
00:15:04,233 --> 00:15:08,073
Likes model railways and
his mom's home cooking.
371
00:15:08,067 --> 00:15:09,597
- Don't do it.
372
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:13,830
Perverts, them train types,
scientifically proven fact.
373
00:15:13,833 --> 00:15:16,433
(sultry music)
374
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:57,100
- Shelley!
375
00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:57,930
- [Shelley] Hi, Sue.
376
00:15:57,933 --> 00:15:59,073
- Oh.
377
00:15:59,067 --> 00:16:00,397
- Barry.
- Hiya.
378
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:01,600
- How are you both?
379
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,230
Hey, you know us two.
380
00:16:03,233 --> 00:16:05,203
Hey, shakin' and a-makin'.
381
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,200
- You'll be pleased to know
he's taking his medication.
382
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,700
Are you up to
anything nice, love?
383
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:10,370
- Oh, just yoga.
384
00:16:10,367 --> 00:16:11,297
You?
385
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:12,530
- Oh, Barry needs a new coat.
386
00:16:12,533 --> 00:16:14,073
- Uh, nothing too snazzy.
387
00:16:14,067 --> 00:16:15,697
- Then we're going
to the Dog & Dart.
388
00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:18,270
- Hey, two courses, 6.95.
389
00:16:18,267 --> 00:16:19,927
- Yeah, they do a
crackin' piece of fish.
390
00:16:19,933 --> 00:16:21,773
I mean, you can't argue
with that, can you?
391
00:16:21,767 --> 00:16:24,427
It's just for the
over 55s, though.
392
00:16:24,433 --> 00:16:26,503
- Perfect for a couple
of old codgers like us.
393
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,070
- Speak for yourself.
394
00:16:28,067 --> 00:16:30,497
- Hey, sunshine, age is
nothing to be ashamed of.
395
00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:32,970
I remember when the air was
clean and sex were dirty.
396
00:16:32,967 --> 00:16:33,797
- Shut it.
397
00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:36,867
Lovely to see you, Shelley.
398
00:16:36,867 --> 00:16:37,867
- Yeah, and you.
399
00:16:37,867 --> 00:16:39,867
See you later.
400
00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:42,427
(upbeat music)
401
00:16:45,567 --> 00:16:49,067
- You definitely
want these ones?
402
00:16:49,067 --> 00:16:49,827
(Kate crying)
403
00:16:49,833 --> 00:16:51,933
- Hey, hey, come on.
404
00:16:51,933 --> 00:16:53,803
If you don't like 'em...
405
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,830
- It's not that.
406
00:16:55,833 --> 00:16:57,273
I'm sorry.
407
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,767
I just keep thinking all this.
408
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,070
If Martin was here, you know,
409
00:17:03,067 --> 00:17:06,067
he'd, he'd be so proud of me.
410
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,397
- Oh, of course he would.
411
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:08,330
Mega-proud.
412
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:12,430
He'd be looking down
on you right now.
413
00:17:15,533 --> 00:17:18,373
Shall I make us a cup of tea?
414
00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:20,067
- Would you, please?
415
00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:23,467
Thanks, Dan.
416
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:32,973
- [Sue] That's not leather.
417
00:17:32,967 --> 00:17:34,067
- No, but it's snazzy.
418
00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:34,867
- Dan's bloody right.
419
00:17:34,867 --> 00:17:36,267
You are having a crisis.
420
00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:39,067
What's next, a
26-year-old mistress?
421
00:17:39,067 --> 00:17:40,567
Hair transplant?
422
00:17:40,567 --> 00:17:41,397
Sun roof?
423
00:17:42,267 --> 00:17:43,527
- So you don't like it?
424
00:17:43,533 --> 00:17:44,873
- Look, if you want
to walk around York
425
00:17:44,867 --> 00:17:46,927
lookin' like a pillock,
that's fine by me.
426
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,703
But I won't be walking with ya.
427
00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:50,270
All right?
428
00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:52,827
(gentle music)
429
00:18:02,933 --> 00:18:05,773
(people laughing)
430
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,670
- Having fun?
431
00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:14,627
- We're just watching
Screen Stars.
432
00:18:14,633 --> 00:18:16,673
How funny is Stir
Crazy, Dan, eh?
433
00:18:16,667 --> 00:18:17,667
- Hilarious.
434
00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:25,067
Uh, how has your
day been, treacle?
435
00:18:25,067 --> 00:18:27,567
- Absolutely bloody marvelous.
436
00:18:27,567 --> 00:18:28,667
Kitchen, now!
437
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,070
- You okay, cheesecake?
438
00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:41,327
D'you want me to do anything?
439
00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:42,673
- Yes, actually!
440
00:18:50,667 --> 00:18:52,527
Take Greg out for
a pint, pronto.
441
00:18:52,533 --> 00:18:54,073
Force him to get her back home,
442
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:56,597
because I'm not putting up
with that for much longer!
443
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:57,530
- With what?
444
00:18:57,533 --> 00:18:58,833
- Don't insult my intelligence
445
00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:00,533
and pretend you haven't noticed.
446
00:19:00,533 --> 00:19:01,703
- Noticed what?
447
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:03,670
- You're a man, you notice!
448
00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:07,067
You could crack a
walnut with that tush!
449
00:19:08,133 --> 00:19:11,073
- Do you want me to
make you a camomile tea?
450
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,727
- I tell you what
I do want, Dan.
451
00:19:12,733 --> 00:19:15,433
Next time she invites you
for an afternoon gigglefest
452
00:19:15,433 --> 00:19:17,573
wearing nothing but a pair
of fanny skimming hot pants,
453
00:19:17,567 --> 00:19:20,427
will you do the right thing
and just fuck off out?
454
00:19:20,433 --> 00:19:22,603
- All right, keep your hair on!
455
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:23,970
So she's fit.
456
00:19:23,967 --> 00:19:27,097
And before you start,
yes, I'd give her one.
457
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:28,230
- You'd give Shelley one?
458
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:29,303
- If I was single.
459
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:30,970
- That's disgusting.
460
00:19:30,967 --> 00:19:32,627
- But I'm not single.
461
00:19:32,633 --> 00:19:34,133
- I mean, I can
understand Madonna.
462
00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:37,473
She looks great for
50-odd, but Shelley?
463
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:39,067
- You fancy Richard Madeley.
464
00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:39,967
- So?
465
00:19:39,967 --> 00:19:41,427
- You said you'd give him one.
466
00:19:41,433 --> 00:19:43,573
- If I was Judy's age,
and I was stuck in a lift.
467
00:19:43,567 --> 00:19:44,397
- See?
468
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,630
- This is different.
469
00:19:45,633 --> 00:19:47,373
Richard is a fantasy.
470
00:19:47,367 --> 00:19:50,067
She's stopping at our
house, and she's my boss.
471
00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:51,597
- And you're my wife,
472
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,400
which is why I'm not gonna do
anything about it, all right?
473
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:58,670
- I must admit, Dan, for a man
who's reasonably attractive,
474
00:19:58,667 --> 00:20:01,267
you've got really
cheap taste in women.
475
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:02,797
- Hang on.
476
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,030
- And for your information,
before you try anything on,
477
00:20:05,033 --> 00:20:07,473
Shelley doesn't do beer guts!
478
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:17,530
- [Greg] Hiya, mate.
479
00:20:17,533 --> 00:20:19,003
- Never mind hiya, mate.
480
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,500
You and I need a chat, pronto.
481
00:20:24,367 --> 00:20:25,227
- I sent her a text.
482
00:20:25,233 --> 00:20:26,833
What more can I do?
483
00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:29,200
- A text?
484
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,030
- Yes.
485
00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:33,130
- You sent her a text?
486
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,200
- Yeah.
487
00:20:36,433 --> 00:20:37,373
Why should I always
be the one that goes
488
00:20:37,367 --> 00:20:39,267
creeping back to her?
489
00:20:39,267 --> 00:20:40,427
- I tell you why you
should go creeping
490
00:20:40,433 --> 00:20:42,503
back to her, shall I?
491
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:45,970
Because she's your
bleeding wife, for a start!
492
00:20:45,967 --> 00:20:48,527
And she's getting
on my wife's tits!
493
00:20:48,533 --> 00:20:49,773
All right?
494
00:20:49,767 --> 00:20:50,727
And when someone gets
on my wife's tits,
495
00:20:50,733 --> 00:20:53,073
my wife has to tell me about it!
496
00:20:53,067 --> 00:20:56,467
And before you know it, my
wife's gettin' on my tits too!
497
00:20:56,467 --> 00:20:58,697
So, crucially, mate,
and before you start,
498
00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:01,200
yes, you're my best mate,
of that there is no doubt,
499
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,900
but crucially, mate, as
it stands, at the moment,
500
00:21:03,900 --> 00:21:07,900
in conclusion, you are
getting right on my tits!
501
00:21:09,633 --> 00:21:10,973
Are you with me?
502
00:21:12,867 --> 00:21:13,797
- Bollocks!
503
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:16,273
I'll take her out then, shall I?
504
00:21:16,267 --> 00:21:18,097
See if I can talk her round.
505
00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:21,830
- That, sunshine, will
be a tremendous start.
506
00:21:25,833 --> 00:21:28,673
- I even checked his suit
pocket in the wardrobe.
507
00:21:28,667 --> 00:21:30,797
He only ever wears
it for funerals.
508
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,600
And no one's snuffed
it since my mom's
509
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,500
Uncle Ray fell off the roof.
510
00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:40,070
He hid a necklace for my
30th in the inside pocket.
511
00:21:40,067 --> 00:21:40,897
Ah.
512
00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:44,427
Oh, he's definitely forgotten.
513
00:21:44,433 --> 00:21:45,503
Denise!
514
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:47,400
Are you listening to me?
515
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,270
- Listening and typing?
516
00:21:49,267 --> 00:21:50,897
Ambitious, then, eh?
517
00:21:53,067 --> 00:21:55,227
- Fergus has sent me an email.
518
00:21:55,233 --> 00:21:57,473
- I hope you told him to
sling it, the bastard.
519
00:21:57,467 --> 00:22:00,327
- Just 'cause he's
married doesn't make
him a bastard, Lisa.
520
00:22:00,333 --> 00:22:01,803
- He's winding
you back in again.
521
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,600
- He says so good
to hear from ya.
522
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,270
Please forgive me.
523
00:22:06,267 --> 00:22:09,227
I can't bear it when
we're not speaking.
524
00:22:09,233 --> 00:22:11,333
- So good to hear from ya?
525
00:22:11,333 --> 00:22:13,273
You said you'd never
speak to him again.
526
00:22:13,267 --> 00:22:14,467
- I know.
527
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:15,897
- But you got back in touch?
528
00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:18,100
- Just a horny email.
529
00:22:18,100 --> 00:22:20,270
He's a sucker for
the word moist.
530
00:22:20,267 --> 00:22:22,427
- I've had enough of this.
531
00:22:24,367 --> 00:22:26,197
- [Denise] Fun Times Dating.
532
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,230
- Website.
533
00:22:27,233 --> 00:22:28,873
It's genius.
534
00:22:28,867 --> 00:22:32,567
I put you on, I write
your profile, and I
choose your dates.
535
00:22:32,567 --> 00:22:35,067
Less chance of you being
quite so picky then, eh?
536
00:22:35,067 --> 00:22:36,367
- Oh, I don't.
537
00:22:36,367 --> 00:22:37,627
- My house tonight.
538
00:22:37,633 --> 00:22:40,073
I'll get Dan to help us.
539
00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:40,897
- Hmm.
540
00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:44,970
(cell phone ringing)
541
00:22:50,233 --> 00:22:51,673
- Hello.
542
00:22:51,667 --> 00:22:55,067
- My princess, sex goddess,
angel of the North.
543
00:22:56,900 --> 00:22:58,600
Stunning ray of
light in an otherwise
544
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,070
dark and miserable existence.
545
00:23:01,067 --> 00:23:02,527
- What do you want, Greg?
546
00:23:02,533 --> 00:23:04,073
- Just want to know how you are.
547
00:23:04,067 --> 00:23:05,197
- How do you think I am?
548
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:06,100
- Just answer the question.
549
00:23:06,100 --> 00:23:07,500
How are ya?
550
00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:09,130
- Surviving.
551
00:23:09,133 --> 00:23:09,973
Coping.
552
00:23:09,967 --> 00:23:11,167
Muddling through.
553
00:23:11,167 --> 00:23:12,797
You do what you
have to, don't you?
554
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:13,970
Why, how are you?
555
00:23:13,967 --> 00:23:15,497
- You know me.
556
00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:17,070
Lost a couple of pounds.
557
00:23:17,067 --> 00:23:18,597
Nose hair's out of control.
558
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,070
- Oh, no.
559
00:23:20,067 --> 00:23:21,097
- [Greg] I thought we
could go out for a drink,
560
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:22,600
talk it through.
561
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,700
You know, sit there and
overcomplicate everything,
562
00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:26,370
just how you like it.
563
00:23:26,367 --> 00:23:28,267
- I'm trying to help you.
564
00:23:28,267 --> 00:23:32,297
Make you a better husband, keep
you away from vice and sin.
565
00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:34,670
- But we love vice and sin.
566
00:23:34,667 --> 00:23:36,127
- Greg.
567
00:23:36,133 --> 00:23:37,273
- [Greg] Meet me
at the Dog & Dart.
568
00:23:37,267 --> 00:23:38,927
I'll get you a lager and lime.
569
00:23:38,933 --> 00:23:41,473
- You need to
remember that I need
570
00:23:41,467 --> 00:23:43,567
looking after
underneath all this.
571
00:23:43,567 --> 00:23:45,797
- Underneath comes later, sexy.
572
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:47,170
Dog & Dart?
573
00:23:47,167 --> 00:23:48,367
Lager and lime?
574
00:23:48,367 --> 00:23:50,097
- Just because I'm a
high flier doesn't mean
575
00:23:50,100 --> 00:23:51,500
I don't have vulnerabilities.
576
00:23:51,500 --> 00:23:53,830
I can actually be quite fragile!
577
00:23:53,833 --> 00:23:56,073
- Don't make me beg, bitch.
578
00:23:56,067 --> 00:23:57,327
- What time do you want me?
579
00:23:57,333 --> 00:23:58,733
- Give us a ring.
580
00:24:02,067 --> 00:24:03,567
- Yes, yes, yes!
581
00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:04,497
He's taking me out.
582
00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:05,970
I'm meetin' him this afternoon.
583
00:24:05,967 --> 00:24:07,227
- Fantastic!
584
00:24:07,233 --> 00:24:09,333
- Lisa, babes, there's
a sale on at La Senza.
585
00:24:09,333 --> 00:24:11,373
Can you take my three
o'clock meeting with David?
586
00:24:11,367 --> 00:24:13,527
- David, as in
head office David?
587
00:24:13,533 --> 00:24:15,203
- As in four sugars
in his coffee David?
588
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:17,230
- As in won't look
you in the eye David?
589
00:24:17,233 --> 00:24:19,133
- As in watches Newsnight David?
590
00:24:19,133 --> 00:24:20,973
- It's just sales
figures, all right?
591
00:24:20,967 --> 00:24:22,227
You'll nail it.
592
00:24:25,167 --> 00:24:27,067
- How d'you know he
watches Newsnight?
593
00:24:27,067 --> 00:24:29,227
- I went to his room
after the Christmas party.
594
00:24:29,233 --> 00:24:30,733
- To watch Newsnight?
595
00:24:30,733 --> 00:24:33,533
- Well, no, but he put it
on after I give him a nosh.
596
00:24:33,533 --> 00:24:35,873
And he sure as hell
looks me in the eye.
597
00:24:35,867 --> 00:24:36,697
Coffee?
598
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,630
- Who doesn't go to the
pub, for fuck's sake?
599
00:24:41,633 --> 00:24:44,703
Or throw the odd fiver on a
horse every now and again?
600
00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:47,570
She knows I'll never be a
suit boy or an office tart.
601
00:24:47,567 --> 00:24:48,927
- She'll chill out
after a few days.
602
00:24:48,933 --> 00:24:50,203
They always do.
603
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,070
- You'll have to use your 50-50.
604
00:24:52,067 --> 00:24:53,267
- I already have done.
605
00:24:53,267 --> 00:24:54,497
Come on, just a little
bit of help, lads.
606
00:24:54,500 --> 00:24:56,600
I'm on the last one.
607
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,070
- Phone him, Dan.
608
00:25:00,933 --> 00:25:02,633
(cell phone ringing)
609
00:25:02,633 --> 00:25:05,473
(classical music)
610
00:25:06,967 --> 00:25:08,967
- Come on, Barry, answer.
611
00:25:08,967 --> 00:25:10,697
- Peace of the Middle East, kid.
612
00:25:10,700 --> 00:25:13,270
- Patron saint of Spain,
Teresa or Bernadette?
613
00:25:13,267 --> 00:25:15,367
- Teresa, final answer.
614
00:25:15,367 --> 00:25:16,667
- D.
615
00:25:16,667 --> 00:25:18,197
(fanfare music)
616
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:19,570
(men laughing)
617
00:25:19,567 --> 00:25:20,897
- Thanks, Bazza!
618
00:25:22,367 --> 00:25:25,497
(coins rattling)
619
00:25:25,500 --> 00:25:26,330
- Babes!
620
00:25:31,467 --> 00:25:32,867
It's not what it looks like.
621
00:25:32,867 --> 00:25:35,367
- Save your breath, you idiot.
622
00:25:36,333 --> 00:25:38,233
- Where are you going?
623
00:25:38,233 --> 00:25:39,233
- Home.
624
00:25:39,233 --> 00:25:40,173
- Oh, great.
625
00:25:40,167 --> 00:25:41,067
What am I meant to do now?
626
00:25:41,067 --> 00:25:41,897
- Chocolates?
627
00:25:41,900 --> 00:25:43,100
Flowers?
628
00:25:43,100 --> 00:25:44,830
Use your imagination.
629
00:25:48,067 --> 00:25:51,797
- [Lisa] Okay, I can choose
you any fella I like.
630
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,800
- Uh, well, not a caretaker
631
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,770
or someone with a
dicky eye or anything.
632
00:25:55,767 --> 00:25:57,227
- Shut it, you.
633
00:25:57,233 --> 00:25:58,403
If we're gonna do this,
we're gonna do it properly.
634
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,070
And that means
following my rules.
635
00:26:00,067 --> 00:26:02,667
- You wouldn't shag someone
with a dicky eye, would ya?
636
00:26:02,667 --> 00:26:03,927
Would you, Dan?
637
00:26:03,933 --> 00:26:05,473
- Don't involve him.
638
00:26:05,467 --> 00:26:07,397
He lost his virginity
to Mariella Spencer,
639
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:08,900
and she had hairy nipples.
640
00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:11,330
- No worse than you going
out with Pete Parsnage.
641
00:26:11,333 --> 00:26:13,933
- Ah, nothing wrong
with Pete Parsnage.
642
00:26:13,933 --> 00:26:16,103
- Apart from the fact he
had a missing bollock.
643
00:26:16,100 --> 00:26:17,600
- Don't be mean.
644
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:21,330
It took me a long time to
get over Pete Parsnage.
645
00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:23,073
- How long exactly?
646
00:26:23,067 --> 00:26:23,897
- Like it matters.
647
00:26:23,900 --> 00:26:24,930
It's in the past.
648
00:26:24,933 --> 00:26:26,573
- Are you over him now?
649
00:26:26,567 --> 00:26:27,767
- Leave it, Dan.
650
00:26:27,767 --> 00:26:29,327
- It's a reasonable question.
651
00:26:29,333 --> 00:26:30,933
- I said, leave it!
652
00:26:35,067 --> 00:26:38,767
Attractive, fun-loving,
great job, big heart,
653
00:26:40,067 --> 00:26:43,097
good sense of humor,
seeks nice guy to go
654
00:26:43,100 --> 00:26:44,800
out and have fun with.
655
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,730
- That's all fantastic!
656
00:26:47,933 --> 00:26:49,773
- It says, rate your
mate's intelligence
657
00:26:49,767 --> 00:26:52,197
on a scale of one to 10.
658
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,070
- A HND in leisure studies.
659
00:26:55,067 --> 00:26:57,067
- I'll put six.
660
00:26:57,067 --> 00:26:59,127
Rate your mate's sense of humor.
661
00:26:59,133 --> 00:27:00,733
- No one gives a
toss about that.
662
00:27:00,733 --> 00:27:01,733
- They must do.
663
00:27:01,733 --> 00:27:02,973
- Blokes don't.
664
00:27:02,967 --> 00:27:05,227
Vital statistics, that's
what men want to know.
665
00:27:05,233 --> 00:27:08,403
- There's no such thing as
vital statistics any more.
666
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,830
- All right, then, size of tits.
667
00:27:10,833 --> 00:27:12,233
- Put voluptuous.
668
00:27:13,333 --> 00:27:14,773
- It doesn't mention
size of tits.
669
00:27:14,767 --> 00:27:17,197
- Come on, Dan, rate
my sense of humor then.
670
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,070
- Seven drunk, three sober.
671
00:27:20,067 --> 00:27:21,497
- Eight's better.
672
00:27:21,500 --> 00:27:24,200
Everybody wants someone
who's a laugh, don't they?
673
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:25,900
Ah, here we are.
674
00:27:25,900 --> 00:27:30,570
Rate your mate's attractiveness
on a scale of one to 10.
675
00:27:31,733 --> 00:27:33,403
Well, Dan?
676
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:37,570
Like you said, you're a
bloke, scale of one to 10.
677
00:27:38,433 --> 00:27:40,803
- Come on, Dan, just say it.
678
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:42,170
I won't be offended.
679
00:27:42,167 --> 00:27:43,067
Promise.
680
00:27:44,100 --> 00:27:45,770
- Come on, you wuss!
681
00:27:49,367 --> 00:27:50,927
A fuckin' nine?
682
00:27:50,933 --> 00:27:53,403
You think Denise
is a fuckin' nine?
683
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:54,630
What would you rate me, then?
684
00:27:54,633 --> 00:27:56,233
- 10, obviously.
685
00:27:56,233 --> 00:27:57,933
- One above Denise?
686
00:27:57,933 --> 00:27:59,673
I'm your bleedin' wife, Dan.
687
00:27:59,667 --> 00:28:00,667
Shouldn't there be more than
688
00:28:00,667 --> 00:28:01,927
one point between me and Denise?
689
00:28:01,933 --> 00:28:03,103
- I was only tryin'
to be nice to her.
690
00:28:03,100 --> 00:28:04,100
- Bullshit.
691
00:28:04,100 --> 00:28:05,830
- It's not just about looks.
692
00:28:05,833 --> 00:28:06,933
You think we're that base?
693
00:28:06,933 --> 00:28:08,273
- What else is it about then?
694
00:28:08,267 --> 00:28:10,667
This I cannot wait to hear.
695
00:28:10,667 --> 00:28:13,497
- Good in bed,
good cook, I dunno.
696
00:28:14,933 --> 00:28:16,473
- Women died for liberation,
697
00:28:16,467 --> 00:28:18,467
and all you care about is
your belly and your widge!
698
00:28:18,467 --> 00:28:19,567
- How'd you do it?
699
00:28:19,567 --> 00:28:20,397
- What?
700
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:21,370
- Twist everything?
701
00:28:21,367 --> 00:28:22,797
- Just tell me the truth, Dan.
702
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,130
Do you fancy Denise?
703
00:28:24,133 --> 00:28:25,073
- No!
704
00:28:25,067 --> 00:28:26,267
- But you gave her a nine?
705
00:28:26,267 --> 00:28:28,627
- It's only a
stupid dating site.
706
00:28:28,633 --> 00:28:30,333
- I don't believe this!
707
00:28:30,333 --> 00:28:31,533
- As if it's not enough, Dan,
708
00:28:31,533 --> 00:28:33,403
you lechin' after
Miss Skimpy Knickers.
709
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:34,730
Then you get a lob on watching
710
00:28:34,733 --> 00:28:36,403
Shelley parade
her undercarriage.
711
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,670
And now you admit you
want to sleep with Denise!
712
00:28:38,667 --> 00:28:40,197
- Didn't have a lob on.
713
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:41,470
- You're not denying you want
to sleep with Denise, though.
714
00:28:41,467 --> 00:28:44,427
- Oh, put a fuckin'
sock in it, will ya!
715
00:28:44,433 --> 00:28:45,273
- What?
716
00:28:45,267 --> 00:28:46,127
- You heard.
717
00:28:46,133 --> 00:28:47,573
- How dare you.
718
00:28:47,567 --> 00:28:49,227
- Since when did you
become my bleedin' mother?
719
00:28:49,233 --> 00:28:50,273
You heard yourself?
720
00:28:50,267 --> 00:28:51,727
How dare you.
721
00:28:51,733 --> 00:28:53,833
Did you know that men who
are constantly accused
722
00:28:53,833 --> 00:28:56,433
of cheating are 45%
more likely to do so
723
00:28:56,433 --> 00:29:00,203
if their wives don't
stop going on about it?
724
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:00,970
- Bullshit.
725
00:29:00,967 --> 00:29:01,797
- No, it's not.
726
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:02,630
I read it.
727
00:29:02,633 --> 00:29:03,473
In Nuts.
728
00:29:05,133 --> 00:29:06,373
And you know what?
729
00:29:06,367 --> 00:29:08,067
I'm starting to
understand exactly
730
00:29:08,067 --> 00:29:10,597
where those men are coming from!
731
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:11,830
- Where are you going?
732
00:29:11,833 --> 00:29:12,673
- Out!
733
00:29:14,933 --> 00:29:17,273
(sad music)
734
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:24,900
- [Barry] You may be right.
735
00:29:24,900 --> 00:29:26,770
I may be having a crisis.
736
00:29:26,767 --> 00:29:28,467
I'm not bothered about
the hair transplant,
737
00:29:28,467 --> 00:29:31,067
but I definitely
fancy the sun roof.
738
00:29:31,067 --> 00:29:33,067
- What about the 26-year-old?
739
00:29:33,067 --> 00:29:35,127
- What would I do
with a 26-year-old?
740
00:29:35,133 --> 00:29:36,403
- I can't imagine.
741
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:39,500
- What would we have to
talk about for a start?
742
00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:41,130
I'll stop interfering, shall I,
743
00:29:41,133 --> 00:29:43,073
and let you just get on with it,
744
00:29:43,067 --> 00:29:44,967
if you'd rather me
go for the leather?
745
00:29:44,967 --> 00:29:46,367
- Thanks, love.
746
00:29:46,367 --> 00:29:47,867
- I really didn't mean
to go on about it,
747
00:29:47,867 --> 00:29:50,967
but you know what I'm like
when I dig my heels in.
748
00:29:50,967 --> 00:29:52,867
- There's nothing wrong
with being assertive.
749
00:29:52,867 --> 00:29:55,167
A woman likes a man to be a man.
750
00:29:55,167 --> 00:29:57,697
But she also likes
him to dress smart
751
00:29:57,700 --> 00:29:59,730
when they go on a
coach trip together.
752
00:29:59,733 --> 00:30:02,173
Just remember that next time.
753
00:30:06,667 --> 00:30:09,227
(gentle music)
754
00:30:21,833 --> 00:30:22,833
- I'm sorry.
755
00:30:25,567 --> 00:30:27,627
- I'm sorry too.
756
00:30:27,633 --> 00:30:31,573
- On a scale of one to
10, I think you're a 20.
757
00:30:32,933 --> 00:30:34,203
- Ah.
758
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:35,030
Do you?
759
00:30:37,633 --> 00:30:39,273
- Fancy a chocolate?
760
00:30:41,233 --> 00:30:42,603
- Fancy a shag?
761
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,800
- Works every time. (laughs)
762
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:47,630
- Oh! (laughs)
763
00:30:47,633 --> 00:30:50,203
(upbeat music)
764
00:30:57,867 --> 00:30:58,967
- All right, babes?
765
00:30:58,967 --> 00:31:00,367
- Yeah, you?
766
00:31:00,367 --> 00:31:01,567
- Good, thanks.
767
00:31:07,067 --> 00:31:07,867
What?
768
00:31:09,067 --> 00:31:10,127
- Nothing.
769
00:31:10,133 --> 00:31:11,303
- Sorry, late.
770
00:31:13,767 --> 00:31:16,097
(sad music)
771
00:31:24,367 --> 00:31:26,627
- Well, what did he get ya?
772
00:31:27,700 --> 00:31:28,530
Oh, no.
773
00:31:29,867 --> 00:31:31,167
Do you want to talk about it?
774
00:31:31,167 --> 00:31:33,067
- Do I look like I
want to talk about it?
775
00:31:33,067 --> 00:31:33,867
- Sorry.
776
00:31:35,067 --> 00:31:36,797
- No, I'm sorry.
777
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,870
It's not your fault.
778
00:31:38,867 --> 00:31:43,467
Right, lady, let's start
choosing you some dates.
779
00:31:43,467 --> 00:31:46,127
- Actually, Lisa, I've been
thinking about all this.
780
00:31:46,133 --> 00:31:47,403
- What now?
781
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,370
- I just don't think
it's really my thing.
782
00:31:49,367 --> 00:31:50,827
- You're 19.
783
00:31:50,833 --> 00:31:54,533
How can picking fit
fellas not be your thing?
784
00:31:55,467 --> 00:31:56,727
- Morning, ladies.
785
00:31:56,733 --> 00:32:01,673
Working hard or hardly
workin', hmm? (giggles)
786
00:32:02,900 --> 00:32:03,800
Dare I ask?
787
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:09,330
(tongue clucks)
788
00:32:09,333 --> 00:32:11,903
(Denise sighs)
789
00:32:14,167 --> 00:32:16,067
- No one else compares, do they?
790
00:32:16,067 --> 00:32:17,067
- What?
791
00:32:17,067 --> 00:32:18,527
- To him.
792
00:32:18,533 --> 00:32:20,233
- That's why you
can't go on a date
793
00:32:20,233 --> 00:32:21,473
with any of those gorgeous men
794
00:32:21,467 --> 00:32:23,367
without picking
at them, isn't it?
795
00:32:23,367 --> 00:32:26,327
- He's the only man
I've ever loved, Lisa.
796
00:32:26,333 --> 00:32:30,373
It actually hurts, you know,
when I think about him.
797
00:32:30,367 --> 00:32:32,367
Right here in my belly.
798
00:32:32,367 --> 00:32:35,527
- Do you really think you're
the first one he's ever had?
799
00:32:35,533 --> 00:32:36,803
Don't you think
he just might have
800
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:38,700
another one at the
Liverpool branch?
801
00:32:38,700 --> 00:32:41,400
Or that trollop from
the Chester office?
802
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:42,500
The one that fell
down the stairs
803
00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:44,570
at the regional Christmas do,
804
00:32:44,567 --> 00:32:46,067
the one with the eyebrows?
805
00:32:46,067 --> 00:32:47,367
- Just 'cause Dan's
forgotten your anniversary
806
00:32:47,367 --> 00:32:49,967
doesn't mean you can
take it out on me.
807
00:32:49,967 --> 00:32:52,497
(upbeat music)
808
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,970
- I'll take that too.
809
00:33:09,767 --> 00:33:11,327
- Right, you.
810
00:33:11,333 --> 00:33:13,173
This is a man hunt.
811
00:33:13,167 --> 00:33:14,527
Fireman, 28.
812
00:33:14,533 --> 00:33:15,503
- Name?
813
00:33:15,500 --> 00:33:16,830
- Herbert.
- Forget it.
814
00:33:16,833 --> 00:33:18,773
- Peter, 32, gynaecologist.
815
00:33:18,767 --> 00:33:21,967
- Rule of thumb: never date a
man that's seen 1,000 fannies.
816
00:33:21,967 --> 00:33:24,127
- Mm, she's right.
817
00:33:24,133 --> 00:33:25,673
- My taxi's here.
818
00:33:25,667 --> 00:33:27,167
Talia, my car isn't gonna
be ready til the morning,
819
00:33:27,167 --> 00:33:29,067
so when you've done that,
can you nip into town,
820
00:33:29,067 --> 00:33:30,427
pick up my dry cleaning?
821
00:33:30,433 --> 00:33:32,933
The ticket's on the pin
board in the kitchen.
822
00:33:32,933 --> 00:33:34,633
- Legal slavery this is.
823
00:33:34,633 --> 00:33:36,233
I should write to Anne Robinson.
824
00:33:36,233 --> 00:33:38,633
- Oh, this one's nice.
825
00:33:38,633 --> 00:33:40,803
Jack, 30, accountant.
826
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:41,630
- Accountant?
827
00:33:41,633 --> 00:33:42,873
Tight-fisted.
828
00:33:42,867 --> 00:33:45,427
I wanna be made to
feel special, Lisa.
829
00:33:45,433 --> 00:33:47,073
Will you just stop it?
830
00:33:47,067 --> 00:33:48,397
How the hell are you
ever gonna find a man
831
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:50,570
behaving like this all
the time, you fussy cow?
832
00:33:50,567 --> 00:33:52,627
- She's particular, not fussy.
833
00:33:52,633 --> 00:33:53,833
- Thank you, Shelley.
834
00:33:53,833 --> 00:33:55,133
- It's only a date.
835
00:33:55,133 --> 00:33:56,433
- You don't understand.
836
00:33:56,433 --> 00:33:58,303
It's embarrassing,
you know, just sitting
837
00:33:58,300 --> 00:34:00,670
in a restaurant waiting for
him to come through the door,
838
00:34:00,667 --> 00:34:02,667
pleading with God
he likes Katy Perry
839
00:34:02,667 --> 00:34:04,267
and not Kings of friggin' Leon!
840
00:34:04,267 --> 00:34:07,527
- I just want you to give
him a chance, the poor bloke.
841
00:34:07,533 --> 00:34:10,403
- Tell you what, you're so
sure, you go and meet him.
842
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:11,930
- [Shelley] Excuse
me, she's married.
843
00:34:11,933 --> 00:34:13,273
- Only to Dan, though.
844
00:34:13,267 --> 00:34:15,927
- Talia, dry cleaning.
845
00:34:15,933 --> 00:34:17,703
- Communism is
exploitation of the strong
846
00:34:17,700 --> 00:34:21,900
by the weak, by the way,
in case you're ever asked.
847
00:34:21,900 --> 00:34:22,870
- Dan won't mind.
848
00:34:22,867 --> 00:34:24,367
He won't even know.
849
00:34:24,367 --> 00:34:26,697
And he did forget
your anniversary.
850
00:34:26,700 --> 00:34:27,900
- True, bastard.
851
00:34:27,900 --> 00:34:29,570
- You could try him out for me.
852
00:34:29,567 --> 00:34:31,167
You'll soon see what it's like.
853
00:34:31,167 --> 00:34:32,597
If it's okay, then
I'll take over.
854
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:33,830
(horn honking)
855
00:34:33,833 --> 00:34:36,373
- All right, all
right, I'm coming.
856
00:34:38,367 --> 00:34:41,067
- Bet you any money
you hate it, hate him.
857
00:34:41,067 --> 00:34:43,627
(upbeat music)
858
00:35:07,300 --> 00:35:08,130
- Hi.
859
00:35:11,233 --> 00:35:14,733
Oh, that, um, the
heating's not on.
860
00:35:14,733 --> 00:35:15,773
Won't you get cold?
861
00:35:15,767 --> 00:35:17,097
- I am going home, Dan.
862
00:35:17,100 --> 00:35:18,730
Greg's on his way to
come and pick me up.
863
00:35:18,733 --> 00:35:19,973
- Smashing.
864
00:35:19,967 --> 00:35:21,067
Where's Lisa?
865
00:35:21,067 --> 00:35:22,667
- Uh, ooh, meeting.
866
00:35:23,767 --> 00:35:25,067
She won't be long.
867
00:35:25,067 --> 00:35:28,067
Just doing a demo for
a bunch of BT drones.
868
00:35:28,067 --> 00:35:28,867
Cheers.
869
00:35:33,300 --> 00:35:34,230
- Right.
870
00:35:34,233 --> 00:35:36,373
Find out his salary, his car,
871
00:35:36,367 --> 00:35:39,127
where he holidays,
his upbringing.
872
00:35:39,133 --> 00:35:41,373
Whether he's a perv.
873
00:35:41,367 --> 00:35:42,627
- Wish me luck.
874
00:36:01,500 --> 00:36:02,430
- Denise?
875
00:36:02,433 --> 00:36:03,473
- Yes.
876
00:36:03,467 --> 00:36:04,467
- It's Jack.
877
00:36:05,300 --> 00:36:06,930
- Thought so.
878
00:36:06,933 --> 00:36:09,533
- Uh, sorry, bag of nerves.
879
00:36:09,533 --> 00:36:11,603
- Oh, no need to apologize.
880
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:12,430
- You look stunning.
881
00:36:12,433 --> 00:36:13,373
- Fuck off!
882
00:36:14,333 --> 00:36:15,173
Oh, no.
883
00:36:16,667 --> 00:36:17,767
I'm sorry.
884
00:36:17,767 --> 00:36:18,967
Stunning?
885
00:36:18,967 --> 00:36:19,927
You're being silly.
886
00:36:19,933 --> 00:36:20,773
- I'm not.
887
00:36:20,767 --> 00:36:21,597
You do.
888
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:22,430
You are.
889
00:36:23,467 --> 00:36:24,297
- Thanks.
890
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:26,670
Is this okay?
891
00:36:26,667 --> 00:36:27,497
Chardonnay?
892
00:36:27,500 --> 00:36:29,270
- Favorite, actually.
893
00:36:31,633 --> 00:36:33,073
- Mine too.
894
00:36:33,067 --> 00:36:33,827
Blimey.
895
00:36:37,767 --> 00:36:39,427
- So, what about me?
896
00:36:39,433 --> 00:36:40,633
Will I do?
897
00:36:40,633 --> 00:36:42,333
- Yeah, course.
898
00:36:42,333 --> 00:36:43,733
Ish.
899
00:36:43,733 --> 00:36:45,603
I'd get rid of.
900
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,430
It's all a bit
'70s catalog model.
901
00:36:49,933 --> 00:36:51,303
- You're joking?
902
00:36:51,300 --> 00:36:53,070
- No, really.
903
00:36:53,067 --> 00:36:53,897
Lose it.
904
00:37:00,333 --> 00:37:01,833
Did you come on the bus?
905
00:37:01,833 --> 00:37:03,833
- No, I've got a car.
906
00:37:03,833 --> 00:37:04,703
- Really?
907
00:37:04,700 --> 00:37:05,900
- Yeah, really.
908
00:37:05,900 --> 00:37:07,600
- Is it a 4x4?
909
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:08,430
- Yes.
910
00:37:08,433 --> 00:37:09,273
- Oh!
911
00:37:12,367 --> 00:37:13,797
I got a taxi.
912
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:14,630
- Nice.
913
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,470
- You know, us women are
quite easy to please.
914
00:37:20,467 --> 00:37:22,697
Bit of charm, nice flowers.
915
00:37:23,867 --> 00:37:25,797
- I thought they'd
be a good move.
916
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:26,800
- What?
917
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:27,630
- Oh, don't start.
918
00:37:27,633 --> 00:37:28,533
He just needed a hand.
919
00:37:28,533 --> 00:37:29,973
You know the score.
920
00:37:29,967 --> 00:37:31,897
- So they are
practically from you?
921
00:37:31,900 --> 00:37:34,330
(horn honks)
922
00:37:35,533 --> 00:37:36,703
- Here's Greg!
923
00:37:39,233 --> 00:37:40,103
Thank fuck for that.
924
00:37:40,100 --> 00:37:41,430
- Hiya, gorgeous.
925
00:37:41,433 --> 00:37:42,473
Yes!
926
00:37:42,467 --> 00:37:45,067
(sultry music)
927
00:38:15,900 --> 00:38:18,130
- Did you have anything
nice for your tea tonight?
928
00:38:18,133 --> 00:38:18,973
- Salmon.
929
00:38:18,967 --> 00:38:20,297
- Oh, very posh.
930
00:38:21,867 --> 00:38:23,127
I like salmon.
931
00:38:23,133 --> 00:38:25,333
Got minds of their
own, haven't they?
932
00:38:25,333 --> 00:38:27,633
You must be very independent
if you like seafood.
933
00:38:27,633 --> 00:38:31,473
- You have to be independent
if you're single.
934
00:38:35,133 --> 00:38:37,603
- Can I ask you
something personal?
935
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:38,900
- Go on, then.
936
00:38:38,900 --> 00:38:39,930
- You're not kinky, are you?
937
00:38:39,933 --> 00:38:41,173
- What?
938
00:38:41,167 --> 00:38:42,397
- You're not into any
of that dodgy stuff?
939
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:44,330
You know, belts round necks,
940
00:38:44,333 --> 00:38:46,073
shoving an orange in your mouth,
941
00:38:46,067 --> 00:38:48,867
for that matter, or a
mixture of the two, even?
942
00:38:48,867 --> 00:38:50,497
Imagine that.
943
00:38:50,500 --> 00:38:52,300
- I think I better go.
944
00:38:52,300 --> 00:38:53,200
- Oh.
945
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,430
No, please don't go.
946
00:38:55,433 --> 00:38:57,903
I didn't mean to offend, honest.
947
00:38:57,900 --> 00:39:01,330
I don't normally do
this sort of thing.
948
00:39:01,333 --> 00:39:04,473
It's really hard knowing
what to ask first, isn't it?
949
00:39:04,467 --> 00:39:05,297
- Oh, God.
950
00:39:06,267 --> 00:39:07,097
I know.
951
00:39:08,433 --> 00:39:10,133
- I'm sorry.
952
00:39:10,133 --> 00:39:12,133
I'm not very good at this, am I?
953
00:39:12,133 --> 00:39:13,773
Maybe I should go.
954
00:39:13,767 --> 00:39:14,667
You stay.
955
00:39:14,667 --> 00:39:15,627
Enjoy the wine.
956
00:39:15,633 --> 00:39:16,803
- Don't worry.
957
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:18,330
Stay.
958
00:39:18,333 --> 00:39:20,073
Look, just try and relax,
959
00:39:20,067 --> 00:39:23,167
and let's just have
a laugh, shall we?
960
00:39:24,167 --> 00:39:27,627
- (laughs) A laugh, right.
961
00:39:27,633 --> 00:39:29,073
That'd be lovely.
962
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:32,870
What does your mom do, Jack?
963
00:39:32,867 --> 00:39:33,967
- Sorry?
964
00:39:33,967 --> 00:39:34,797
- Does she work?
965
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,200
Is she a professional?
966
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,230
- No, she's dead.
967
00:39:39,233 --> 00:39:40,833
- Oh, bugger.
968
00:39:40,833 --> 00:39:41,973
How?
969
00:39:41,967 --> 00:39:42,797
- Suicide.
970
00:39:45,267 --> 00:39:46,327
- What about your dad?
971
00:39:46,333 --> 00:39:47,173
- [Jack] What about him?
972
00:39:47,167 --> 00:39:48,097
- Is he dead?
973
00:39:48,100 --> 00:39:48,930
- No.
974
00:39:48,933 --> 00:39:49,833
- Oh, good.
975
00:39:50,867 --> 00:39:51,927
Is he a professional?
976
00:39:51,933 --> 00:39:53,933
- No, he's a paraplegic.
977
00:39:56,067 --> 00:39:58,727
- My first Saturday job was
working with paraplegics,
978
00:39:58,733 --> 00:40:03,003
and, underneath, they're
actually very nice people.
979
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,470
(Jack laughs)
980
00:40:04,467 --> 00:40:05,297
What?
981
00:40:05,300 --> 00:40:06,130
- I'm sorry.
982
00:40:06,133 --> 00:40:07,703
I'm winding you up.
983
00:40:07,700 --> 00:40:08,570
- Oh!
984
00:40:08,567 --> 00:40:09,827
(both laugh)
985
00:40:09,833 --> 00:40:13,133
My husband does that
to me all the time!
986
00:40:13,133 --> 00:40:14,473
Ha, ha, got you!
987
00:40:16,633 --> 00:40:19,733
Oh, you're lovely, you are.
988
00:40:19,733 --> 00:40:20,803
- Hello.
989
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:21,930
Lisa?
990
00:40:21,933 --> 00:40:22,833
- Kate!
991
00:40:22,833 --> 00:40:23,673
Hi.
992
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:27,270
- Well, aren't you
going to introduce me?
993
00:40:27,267 --> 00:40:28,197
- Jack, Kate.
994
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:29,130
Kate, Jack.
995
00:40:30,700 --> 00:40:32,200
Kate's an old friend.
996
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:34,570
We used to hang out at the
pub together, the Dog & Dart.
997
00:40:34,567 --> 00:40:35,697
Do you know it, Jack?
998
00:40:35,700 --> 00:40:37,070
- Can't say I do.
999
00:40:37,067 --> 00:40:38,327
- Nice to meet you, Jack.
1000
00:40:38,333 --> 00:40:41,203
So how do you two
know each other?
1001
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:42,500
- Old mates.
1002
00:40:42,500 --> 00:40:43,830
We go way back.
1003
00:40:43,833 --> 00:40:45,233
- We used to work together.
1004
00:40:45,233 --> 00:40:47,533
- Looking after paraplegics.
1005
00:40:48,467 --> 00:40:49,327
- How nice.
1006
00:40:50,533 --> 00:40:51,833
- I'm so sorry, Kate.
1007
00:40:51,833 --> 00:40:53,233
I'm running late.
1008
00:40:53,233 --> 00:40:54,673
It's lovely to see you.
1009
00:40:54,667 --> 00:40:55,797
And you, Jack.
1010
00:40:58,000 --> 00:40:59,830
Right, go and explain, will you?
1011
00:40:59,833 --> 00:41:02,403
I'm in enough trouble as it is!
1012
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,400
(gentle music)
1013
00:41:27,267 --> 00:41:28,427
I'm so sorry!
1014
00:41:28,433 --> 00:41:30,173
I just assumed you'd forgot.
1015
00:41:30,167 --> 00:41:31,697
Who told you it was tin?
1016
00:41:31,700 --> 00:41:32,830
- What?
- The vase!
1017
00:41:32,833 --> 00:41:33,673
Brilliant!
1018
00:41:33,667 --> 00:41:34,597
It was my mom.
1019
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:35,330
It was my mom, wasn't it?
1020
00:41:35,333 --> 00:41:36,633
- Uh--
- Shh!
1021
00:41:36,633 --> 00:41:38,073
Don't say a word.
1022
00:41:38,067 --> 00:41:40,867
Come on. (laughs)
1023
00:41:42,067 --> 00:41:44,727
(cheerful music)
1024
00:41:58,133 --> 00:42:00,403
- [Bianca] Hi, Sue, hello.
1025
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:05,100
- Spaniel's ears, the minute
the bra's off, guarantee it.
1026
00:42:07,933 --> 00:42:08,803
Lisa!
1027
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,070
Lisa!
1028
00:42:10,067 --> 00:42:12,067
Lisa, you're not
gonna believe this.
1029
00:42:12,067 --> 00:42:14,227
Sue Pollard's following
me on Twitter!
1030
00:42:14,233 --> 00:42:15,173
- Oh?
1031
00:42:15,167 --> 00:42:15,897
- You having a coffee, Sue?
1032
00:42:15,900 --> 00:42:17,170
- Yeah, why not?
1033
00:42:17,167 --> 00:42:18,327
Let's go wild.
1034
00:42:19,367 --> 00:42:20,297
- Yo, kids!
1035
00:42:20,300 --> 00:42:22,400
Hey, what's crackalackin'?
1036
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:24,630
- [Dan] Hm, nice jacket, Bazza.
1037
00:42:24,633 --> 00:42:28,203
- Ooh, and who's that great
hunk of spunk next door?
1038
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:29,200
You kept that quiet.
1039
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:30,430
- Mom!
1040
00:42:30,433 --> 00:42:32,603
- Bianca's got her claws
in already, I noticed.
1041
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:33,770
- Oh, the new neighbor!
1042
00:42:33,767 --> 00:42:35,067
I completely forgot.
1043
00:42:35,067 --> 00:42:37,167
Trust Skimpy Knickers
to get in there first.
1044
00:42:37,167 --> 00:42:39,097
Come on, let's go and
introduce ourselves.
1045
00:42:39,100 --> 00:42:39,930
- Now?
1046
00:42:39,933 --> 00:42:41,433
- [Lisa] Yes, now.
1047
00:42:44,367 --> 00:42:45,867
- Thank you, love.
1048
00:42:55,167 --> 00:42:56,397
- [Lisa] Hello.
1049
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:00,430
- Hi.
1050
00:43:03,667 --> 00:43:06,267
(upbeat music)
69116
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