All language subtitles for DCs Legends of Tomorrow s05e02_English

- The Legends of Tomorrow
are everywhere.

Since they defeated a demon
with the help of a dragon

on national TV, they've
become a worldwide obsession.

[fans cheering]

Sure,
we've all been mesmerized

by the
global phenomenon

known as "Legends-mania."

- Yum.
- [girl laughs] Yum!

- And the Oscar for best
picture goes to--

- But who are
the people beneath

those supersized
public personas?

- Roar.

- What are they like
when the spotlight is off?

- I'm Kevin Harris, and my
documentary film crew is

the first ever to be granted
unfettered access

to their lives
and their ship, the Waverider.

So strap in because today,
we meet the Legends.

[techno music]

♪

So why don't we start
with just a brief introduction,

and let us know what we're
doing today on the Waverider.

- Uh, yeah.

Hi, I'm--I'm Ava Sharpe.

After Congress shut down
the Time Bureau,

Sara went off to help
Oliver Queen and, uh,

I had to fight to keep the
Waverider from being impounded.

Bad luck that the senator
chairing the committee

was the same person we almost
killed last year.

- Senator Wellington, I know

the Time Bureau may have been
compromised, but you must allow

the Waverider to continue
patrolling the timeline.

- Ms. Sharpe, how do we know
these so called "Legends"

can be trusted
with time travel?

Well, there's simply
no transparency.

- Which is why
you all are here.

Right?
To show everyone what we do.

What could go wrong?

- The Waverider was
surprisingly quiet

because half the team was away
on a mission.

- Oh, the crossover,
yeah, had to take a rain check.

See, when you are a superhero

slash amusement park
impresario,

slash historian
that rises from the dead,

your dance card tends to get
pretty full.

For two full minutes,
I was not alive.

[guitar strumming]

That changes you, man.

Don't get me wrong,
I love fame.

No one says no to you
about anything.

Hey, man, that's a cool hat.
Can I have it?

[stirring orchestral music]

But still,
something doesn't feel right.

[jazzy music]

♪

- Oh, sorry.
Hang on.

[air whooshing]

There we go.

Hi, I'm Behrad Tarazi.

I guess you probably think

I'm some kind
of awesome future man,

since I'm from 2044.

My literal birthday
was yesterday,

which is pretty wild, man.

[whispering]
That's me.

Hey baby Behrad,
be easy and go with the flow,

like Wu-Tang Clan
and Bruce Lee.

- I mean, now that we're no
longer D-list superheroes,

we can just go where we want,
do as we please.

Why have I stuck around?

Tell you the truth,
I have no bloody clue.

I am bored as a post.
Ain't I?

Gids, I'm nicking the jumpship,
all right?

I'll see you when I see you.

- The jumpship is
fully totemed.

- She's a mad old bat,
that one.

[giggles]

- Hi, I'm Mona Wu.
I'm a Kaupe.

Uh, that's basically like
a werewolf but Hawaiian.

[jumpship firing]

I'm also a literary agent

for romance novelist
Rebecca Silver,

[whispering]
who is secretly Mick Rory.

Jeez, Peter, take me out on a
date first before you try to

[claps]
you know.

Basically, what I do is
I sell movie rights,

get book advances,
that kind of stuff.

You're telling me that you
don't have a single dollar

for a Rebecca Silver
book advance?

Okay, now you're not just
disrespecting me,

[voice deepens]
you're disrespecting my client!

[roars]

Not now!
Pay up or I will thrash you!

[roars]

- Hi, I'm Gary Green.

Um, if I had to sum myself up
in two words

they would be, uh,
fully forgiven.

[chuckles]

A lot of things happened last
year that you could misconstrue

as potentially,
maybe being my fault.

But thankfully everyone
agrees that at worst

I was just a hapless rube
who got manipulated

by the forces of Hell
to betray humanity.

I had a fairy godmother named
Nora,

but we separated amicably
after she granted me

my heart's deepest wish.

- Gary,
what the hell are you doing?

Come on, we've got bigger fish
to fry.

- Nora made me Constantine's
apprentice.

- Gary!

- Call me.

- So how does your girlfriend
feel

about the documentary
being made?

- Actually, I haven't,
uh, told Sara

about the--the
documentary yet.

I just think it was a little
awkward over the phone.

It's better to, you know,
spring it on her

when she gets back
from the big mission.

Okay, big smiles everyone.

And nobody mention
Oliver Queen.

- Why?

- Because he died.

- Shouldn't have done
the crossover.

[door sliding]

[party horn blows]

[together]
Surprise!

- Yeah!

[overlapping chatter]

[together]
Oh, bros.

- Orange drink or limeade?

- Alcohol.

- Hey, love.
Welcome back, baby.

- What is going on?

- Before you object,
let me explain.

The only way that I could stop
Senator Wellington

from cutting
off our funding was

to be clear and
transparent about our process.

Get it?

- So you're shooting a
documentary about the Legends?

- Not me, per se.
[clears throat]

- Hi, Captain Lance, huge fan.

Uh, I'm the director,
Kevin Harris.

You can call me Kev.

Just carry on, do what you're
doing; we're not even here.

- That's Kev.
He's got it under control.

- And what if I wanna talk
about something in private?

- It's not a problem,

that's what the confessional
interviews are for.

- Oh.
[laughs]

Okay, so I can--I can
just say it to the camera.

- Sure.

- My girlfriend,
she's lost her mind.

[laughs]

She just--she really
probably needs a nap.

She gets a little sleepy
after a long mission.

Um--oh, Mick,
why don't you tell us all

what you do on the ship, huh?

- I steal stuff.
Get out of my way, you punks.

- Okay, he's just joking.
Uh, Ray!

Who else saved the multiverse?

- Oh, uh, well The Flash,
Supergirl, Batwoman.

- Cool
- Yeah.

- What, no Superman?

Couldn't have been
that big a deal.

- Oh, no, no,
Superman was there.

- He's very handsome.

- It's good to have you back,
buddy.

- Yeah.

Hey, we're missing someone.

Where's Charlie?

- Took the jumpship
for a joyride.

- A joyride to check
the timeline.

Right?
It's called a timescout.

Now, who wants to visit
the temporal zone?

Shall we?

[Waverider engines humming]

- [groans]

Guys, I'm still outside.

I'm still outside!
Don't leave me!

- Hi, I'm Ray Palmer,
The Atom.

This documentary is an exciting
opportunity

for me to improve
my image.

A lot of people still
confuse me for the demon

who possessed me and opened up
the gates of Hell.

His name was Neron and he is
no longer with me or inside me

or, um...

I really wish that you could
meet my girlfriend, Nora.

But she works out of town
a lot, internationally.

She's got a lot
of global clients, kids mostly.

She is a fairy godmother.

- There's something behind you.

[explosion]

- Is this a timequake?

- See, I knew the timeline
was still in jeopardy.

What do we got?

Time pirates, time terrorism,
time sex tourism?

- Jeez, Ava, you could be
a supervillain

if you applied yourself.

- Gideon,
what's the point of origin?

- It appears my Jonah Hex
has beebo lala loves you.

- Gideon may have a virus.

- Doesn't she make
everything work?

- We are perfectly safe.

- Guys, that was
a class five timequake.

That is so dangerous.

- Okay, guys, let's just try to
keep our composure, shall we?

- I've triangulated
the timequake

to 1917,
St. Petersburg, Russia.

Let's go
and shrink the problem.

[mouthing words]

I'm developing a catchphrase?

- Executing time jump now.

- No, Gideon, we're not taking
a film crew to--

[Waverider humming
and whooshing]

Imperial Russia.
Yeah.

Great.
This is great, Ray.

- All right, Legends,
put on your babushkas

because we are
rushing into Russia.

- And now you're copying
my thing.

- Totally, I just got
really excited.

- Okay, listen, babe,
this may seem like a problem,

but let's turn it into
a "probltunity," huh?

- Maybe a party snake is just
what the doctor ordered.

- Uh, what's a party snake?

- A sneak, party sneak.

- The wonder of time travel
is allowing our cameras

to capture some of
the first color images

of imperial Russia
as we ride along

on the Legends' patented
party sneak.

- Turns out it's more
of a fun funeral sneak.

- Who died?

- Grigori Rasputin AKA
The Mad Monk.

Equal parts mystic advisor
and manipulative hornball.

- Rasputin was notoriously
hard to kill.

It took cyanide, a gun, and
drowning before he stayed dead.

[coffin thumping]

[mourners screaming]

[solemn violin music]

♪

- Um, guys, we sure
he stayed dead?

- Rasputin came back
from the dead,

and it caused a timequake.

Ugh, this is
the kind of problem

that I can wrap my head around.

So I need you guys
to forget about this

documentary film crew
and focus

on the mission at hand,
yes?

- Yes, we need to minimize
the mishap.

- Ooh, Ray, that's good.

Because saving the day
is what the Legends do best.

- [whispering]
Ava, you're in my shot.

- Oh, sorry.

- Gideon, what does
the historical record say?

- Perhaps timeloop--timeloop
released him

from Marion Ravenwood.

- Of course.
Okay.

B-Money, with me.

We're gonna fix Gideon, get our
guests back to 2020.

Mona, Nate, Ray, I want you
three researching Rasputin.

Figure out what his next move
is gonna be.

Okay?
Let's do it.

- Hey, Ray.
Sorry, but just--

hey, is everything okay
with Sara?

- Oh, um, I don't know.

But I do know that Oliver's
death was pretty tough on her.

- Yeah.

- Maybe you should write Sara
a condolence card.

- It's actually not a bad idea.

I guess I could try to put
my thoughts and feelings

into words on a card.

- What if more baddies start
coming back,

like,
throughout history?

- If they do, we can call them
evil do-overs.

- Villa-agains.

- I like encores.

[shimmering tone]

It's a good idea.

- We could take a vote,
we could take like a--

- Okay, let's vote, let's vote.

- Encores.

- Villa-agains.

- Encores.

- Eh.
- Don't be a jerk about it.

[voice deepens]
Encores!

- Meanwhile, back in New York,

Constantine and Gary were
doing some soul searching.

- We're here with the great
mage John Constantine

responding to an urgent call
regarding the supernatural.

[knocking]

- Oh bloody hell, Gary,
you know I must have been

off my rocker
when I made you my assistant.

- Mr. Constantine.

- It's what the card says,
love.

- It's my son Edgar.

I came home late from my shift.

Usually he's up
playing video games.

- All right, love,
there you go.

Now why don't you let me
take a look, eh?

[glass shatters]

- [deep growl]

- What's wrong with him?

- His PJs, for starters.

[wall cracking]

Do people really wear matching
pajama sets?

- Yes.

[roaring]

- Exorcizamos te,
omnis immundus spiritus,

omnis satanic potestas,

- John, wait.

- Masher?

Masher, is that you
possessing the lad?

- Glad to see you escaped Hell.

- Yeah, well, I could say
the same about you, mate.

- Demon's gotta have his fun.

- Yeah, well, I could murder
a pint right about now.

Fancy a drink?

- You're buying.

- You've got it,
let's go.

- Uh, excuse me,
greatest of warlocks,

but what about Edgar's mother?

- Good thinking, G-man.

We'll take the fire escape.

[Waverider humming]

[bird caws]

- What exe--able do you wi--x
Captain cat--what interval--

- Easy on Gideon, Cap.

- What are you wix--table
Captain cat, captain cat--

- Is everybody just trying
to get on my nerves today?

Camera crew shows up and, what,
nobody can act like themselves?

- Spotlight does weird things
to people.

But, hey, you know I'll always
be my true self.

- Oh yeah?
Your true self?

Don't your parents think
you're in business school?

- I am a tangled web.

Enough about me.

How you doing with Oliver
and everything?

- [sighs]
I'm fine.

- No worries,
we don't have to talk about it.

But, I made you something.

- Oh, please don't be
a condolence card

'cause those are
always super awkward.

- Nah,
hopefully something better.

It's you, Ollie, and Laurel.

- B, this is actually--
it's really sweet.

Thank you.

- My condolence card
wasn't awkward.

"Dear Sara, I'm sorry
the vigilante you slept with

"when he was already dating
your sister died.

"Some say it's better
to have loved and lost,

but I hope
you never loved him at all."

Sara and I aren't the type to
give each other cards anyway.

I'd rather do something
for her.

You know, like, fix this
Rasputin situation

and get the Legends
the heck out of Russia

before they screw
something up.

Uh, you can cut the last part
of that out, right?

- Apparently, when Rasputin
cured the Czarina's only son,

the two fell madly in love.

I think if Rasputin realized
how much the Czarina loved him,

he would wanna
settle down with her,

lead the kind of quiet life
that doesn't disturb history.

Maybe Rebecca Silver's
next series could be called

"Russian Nights."

- So the St. Petersburg elite
hated Rasputin's influence

over the Czarina.

So the Czar's own nephew, a
prince by the name of Yusupov,

he spearheaded
the assassination.

[gunshots]

- [gasps]
- [gasps]

- [snaps]

Ray, what if old Grigori
came back--

[together]
to settle the score.

[exciting music]

♪

- We need to stop Rasputin
from killing Yusupov.

- I'm going to deliver
a love letter to Rasputin.

- I'm gonna kill Rasputin.
You in?

- Yep.

- Rasputin and I are two
wandering souls

who got a second chance
at life.

He shouldn't waste his encore
on revenge.

Damn it.
- What?

- Mona was right.
Encore feels better.

- It does.

Plus, with my new atom cam,
everybody can watch us

fixing history
without any bloodshed.

[screaming]

[body thuds]

[suspenseful music]

♪

And Yusupov's dead.

- New plan.

- Trespassers.

- Whoa, hey, whoa.
Don't--don't shoot.

You either.

- Show me your hands.

- Um...
- What do you want?

I'm here to interview
Rasputin.

[clears throat]

Grigori!

Razzmatazz.
Do, uh, people call you Griggy?

There's just been
a slight misunderstanding.

Your monk friends here think
I'm here to kill you,

uh, when really I just
would like to chat.

Oh, this?
This is my camera crew.

We're producing a news reel
about your startling return.

After all,
you're not a big deal

until you're a big deal
on camera.

- Grigori Rasputin.

Monk, mystic--
it is hard coming back to life.

I think,
what will make me happy?

So I kill the man
who killed me.

But am I happy?
Eh.

- I'll give you Yusupov.
He had it coming.

But let's talk big picture,
Griggy.

You rose from the dead.
- Mm-hmm.

- That's wild.

- Nate, what are you doing?

Now you're in my shot.

- To be honest with you,

I'm here to find out
what makes you tick.

Are we killing folks
or chilling with folks?

- Sorry, Nate,
this one's for Sara.

- I got your back, Nate.

Size small, standing tall.

- Ugh, Ray.

- [grunting]

- Get outta there.
- [muffled shouting]

- Rory, you're up.

[knuckles crack]

- Mona's here.

- [sighs]
Of course she is.

- Hi, guys.

I forged a letter
that's gonna save history.

That's for Rasputin.

- Hmm,
not bad.

Nice use of "musky embrace."

- [chuckles]
I learned from Rebecca Silver.

- Well, you learned
from the best.

- You know, your aura
is quite strong.

- I get that a lot.
I rotate hair products.

- Like me, you, too, have
experienced the miracle.

God brought you back to life.

But there's something missing.

I sense a hole in your heart.

There, right there.

You once loved someone,

but you have forgotten.

Allow me to hypnotize you
and I will help you recover

everything you have lost.

- Don't even think about it,
Nate.

- Thank you, Rasputin, but I'm
gonna have to say

yes, 100%,
let's do this.

- As Nate's party was about
to get started,

Constantine's was coming
to an end.

- It's not right bringing
a kid in here!

- Oh, piss off
you puritan twit.

I've got to ask, Masher.

Has she done it?

- I don't know what
you're talking about, John.

- Don't be coy with me.

Has Astra released the worst
souls from Hell onto Earth?

- What can I say?

The girl's all grown up
and making money moves.

The question is--what
are you gonna do?

- Well, I don't need to do
anything about it, all right?

My life is settled right now.

I'm not gonna stir up
a hornets' nest of trouble

because Astra Logue wants
to break

the glass ceiling in Hell.

- Is that so?

- You smug git.

- [chuckling]

- Right then, sorry about this.

- Ah, no, at least let me
have a swig.

- Exorcizamos te,
omnis immundus spiritus,

omnis satanic potestas...

- You're a bastard, John!

[roars]

- In nomine et virtute
exorcisazo te.

- [wheezing]

Where's my mom?
- Gary.

- Yes, master of the dark arts.

- Hail the Waverider, will you?
I need to warn the Legends.

- Uh, but what about Edgar?

- Ah, you know,
give him the usual.

- One taxi and a lollipop.
Coming up.

- [sighs]
I see you, you creep.

What?
What do you want?

You want my confessional?

All right, come here,
I'll give one to you.

I confess that
I hate this doc.

I confess that I don't want
to be a celebrity.

And I confess that if you don't
get that camera

out of my face--
- Captain.

I think Gideon is suffering
from phantom data.

Do you want me
to come back later?

- No, you should stay.

Stay with me, hang out.
Let's get lit.

- Questionable timing,
but should I get my stash box?

- Yes, you should.

- Captain, I have
an incoming Bollywood.

[static noise]

- I think that's better.
Yeah, I can see myself.

Sara, what's with
the connection?

- Gideon has a bug
and we're trying to get buzzed.

What do you want?

- Listen up, all right?

Some of the most evil souls
in all of history

have been raised from Hell.

- Did you hear him?
He said "Hell."

- Get--get out.

- Relax, Nathaniel.

Focus on my voice
and this bauble.

Now drop into the deepest
part of yourself.

- Quivering flesh go here.

- That's good.

- And what if we've already run
into one of these encores?

How do we kill it?

- You can't,

not with a chit of their souls
still in Hell.

- Where's Ava? Tell her I said hi.

- I see a woman in the shadows.

- Walk to her.

- [clears throat]

- She's beautiful.

Silky raven hair.

[gun clicking]

Eyes you could just stare
into forever.

And she's stuffing her face
with donuts.

[gunshot]

[overlapping screams]

[tense music]

♪

- God has spared Rasputin
again.

- Kill her!

- Rory!
- [growls]

[flames whooshing]

- [screams]

[roars]

- Nate, I'm coming for you,
buddy.

[suit clicking]

- Nate, snap out of it.

- I remember her, Ray.

- Who?

- I don't know her name, but
she was on the ship with us.

- Mission's blown,
we need to retreat.

- I'm not done with you, you rat.

- Good thing Sara's
not watching this.

- [exhales]

- So you guys decided to go off
on your own and face Rasputin.

- I thought I could
calm him down.

- I thought I could make him
fall in love?

- And I thought I could,
you know, assassinate him.

- None of that was ever
going to happen.

He's fresh out of Hell.

- Well, let's kill him then.

- You--you can't.

Look, John said that
he can't be killed

with a chit of his soul
is in Hell,

or whatever that means.

- Look, Sara,
we're really sorry.

We thought we could
make things easier for you

by taking this
off of your plate.

- And risking your own necks.

Look, I already have
one dead friend on my plate.

I'm good there.

And you know, none of you
self-absorbed mega stars

even bothered to ask me
how I was doing.

- Look, Sara, I told them not
to mention Oliver, okay?

I thought you wouldn't want
to be reminded.

- Reminded?

What, did you think that
I could just forget

that my friend died?

- No, I--look, I know things
have been crazy around here.

- Crazy around here?

You still have no idea
what I saw out there.

- What did happen?

- Countless Earths died.

I became a paragon and traveled
back to the big bang.

We restarted the universe

and now no one even remembers
what we've changed.

- It's a lot to process.
- Yeah, I know.

So you could see why I wanna
talk to my friends about it.

And instead I get cameras
in my face.

- Agent Sharpe lacks
a delicate touch

and is extremely deficient
at relating to people.

[chuckles]

That is straight from my
Time Bureau personnel review.

Pretty harsh.

I wrote that review.

- Yeah, of course I'm bummed
that we let Sara down,

but I am glad
I got to meet Rasputin.

Little help?

[air whooshing]

I mean, the guy got in my head
and laid a bomb.

- He freaked your bean, huh?
- Oh yeah.

He also told me
about the mystery woman

that I was in love with
before I died.

I know it sounds crazy but it
just--it feels right.

- Sounds like you got some
soul searching to do.

- Hmm.

- Wanna watch "How Stella
Got Her Groove Back" again?

- No, my groove feels fine.

You think I have either split
memory or partial amnesia?

- That's like what's happening
with Gideon.

Her memory is processing what I
thought was phantom data,

but maybe it's real data from
a different timeline.

Either you're a computer
who caught

the same virus as Gideon--

- Or when we fixed Heyworld,
we changed the timeline.

Damn, we deducted the hell
out of that.

- I have to tell Sara.

- Wait, five minutes,
five minutes,

Stay on the inversion table.
You're back's gonna thank me.

- [sighs]

Okay, so clearly we shouldn't
have avoided

asking Sara about
Oliver.

But in my defense
I was desperately afraid

I was gonna say
the wrong thing, you know?

I don't know what she needs
and everything I try--

it seems to make it worse.

- Hold on, Behrad, so you're
saying Gideon's glitching

because we fractured time?

- Look, at least we didn't
break time.

We just, sorta, dinged it up.

- Hello?

[taps lens]

- What is on the feed?

- Is this thing on?

- Oh, yes we're rolling,
Mr. Rasputin, sir.

- Good.
Get out.

Now what was it that man with
the hair product said?

Yes,

you are not big deal until
you're big deal on camera.

You are going to make me big
deal, Mr. Kevin Harris.

- They left
the director behind?

- I've invited my dearest
Czarina and her family

over for dinner.

Tonight will be a night
that you can remember.

[giggles]

- That--that doesn't
sound right.

- What?

- The laugh,
you need to nail the laugh

before we kill the Romanovs
and take the throne.

- It's a work in progress.
How about this?

[clears throat]
[cackling]

[computer beeps]

- He's gonna kill the Romanovs.

- Making him an immortal Czar.

- We can handle this.

- We can?
What about the team?

- Shh, they're
not thinking straight.

And their cover's blown.
Look, this up to you and me, B.

We are going to stop
this assassination alone.

Yes.

- Yes.

[orchestral music playing]

- What's this?

Is this a smudge
on this goblet?

Every detail must be perfect.

Tonight I am dining
with the imperial family.

Take it back.

They are going to love
the teacakes.

I've laced them with cyanide.
[giggles]

Hello, Kevin, right here.

- Your guests have arrived.

- The Romanovs are here!

Welcome.

It is such a shame that your
daughters could not attend.

I know how much they must have
missed their uncle Rasputin.

- Word of your death sent them
into mourning,

but none were so heartbroken
as I.

- Music!

[trio plays somberly]

♪

- How did you manage to survive
being poisoned, shot,

and thrown into the river,
Grigori?

- Oh, I have a very hardy
constitution.

- Oh, damn it, the red
wedding's about to start

and I don't see the teacakes
anywhere.

- All I see is cookies.

- Teacakes.
- My favorite.

- The cookies are the teacakes.

[napkin snaps]

- What is the meaning of this?

- Forgive me, sire,
I saw a bug.

[air whooshing]

- Grigori, what is going on?

What have you done?

- Whoops, I think we forgot
the cameraman.

- That's Kevin, the director.
He's really more of an auteur.

- We should get out there.

- Sara clearly wants to handle
this alone.

- But are we gonna let her?

[dramatic music]

- Go.

- Nicholas, Alexei, come.

- Wait!

You will stay exactly
where you are.

For years I have flattered
you both.

Our subjects adore you.
Our army needs you.

And look at the state
of our beloved Russia.

- Hey.

Let me guess, you're the only
one that can save it.

Not today, Grigori.

- Who are you?
No matter.

Perhaps I haven't given an
adequate demonstration

on my bauble.

[ethereal pulse]

Attack this serving wench.

[Russian instrumental music]

♪

- Come on, Behrad.
Snap out of it.

- Rasputin.

The Grand Duchess Anastasia
is here.

- No, Anastasia, run!

- So glad you could join
our soiree.

- Me too.

- [gasps]

- [chuckles]

You're going to have to do
better than that.

[energetic music]

- Sorry.

Come on, come on,
follow me, go.

- [roars]

- Move it.

- [yelps]

[gunshot]

[electrical hum]

- It didn't hurt.

- All right, this way.

We're gonna hide,
you'll be safe.

- Look, Sara,
I wish I was the person

who could say
the perfect thing.

- Behind you.

- [sighs]

But listen, I'm just--I'm
not that person, okay?

Emotions are hard for me
and I don't even know

what restarting
the universe means.

Behind you.

Listen to me,
whatever happened to you,

okay, whatever happens to you,

I wanna be the person
that's there for you.

I'm here for you, Sara.

- [shouts]

- Ava, that was perfect.

- Oh, sorry to ruin the moment,
ladies, but we have a problem.

- Oh, come on.

- Kill the imperial family.

- [growls]

- Guys, come on, we don't need
to use violence here.

[machinery whirring]

- Ray!

- Sara, think of something.

- Hey, Grigori.

It's your big moment,

don't you want to ham it up
for the cameras?

- Oh, yes.

I'm Grigori Rasputin
and I'm unkillable.

[laughing]

[gulps]

- Guys?

Where am I?
What happened?

- Don't think Ray,
just enlarge.

- Why's it so dark in here?

Am I in a lake?

A lake that smells
like pierogies?

- Ray, do it, get big now.

- Embigify.

Your atomic number is up.

- Now, Ray!

- Size... matters!

Oh no.
What did--what did I do?

- You found your catchphrase,
Ray!

- What the hell.
- Raw meat.

- Question is---
- Did you get the shot, Kevin?

- Uh, yeah I--I got it.

- You know, I chalk it up to
saving the timeline,

and history has to be saved,

and sometimes you have take
some people out, I guess.

- The public is gonna love
this ending

- It's only missing one thing.

- Hm?

[body thuds]

[upbeat music]

♪

- Saving history turned out
to be a messier job

than anyone had anticipated.

- To keep Rasputin
from reforming,

The Legends stored his remains
in a series of jars

that had previously been used
for condiments.

- ♪ The sun's in your face

[Papercuts' "Sandy"]

- You might have thought
traveling through time

would be a way
to find the answers

to life's great mysteries.

But, it turns out, sometimes
you just find more questions.

♪

- ♪ Sandy, baby...

But one thing is true
in any time period.

It's being there for the ones
you love

that makes
the journey worthwhile.

- ♪ Try and be something
you're not ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Hear that applause?

This movie is
not even gonna begin

to satiate the Legends craze.

You know what this is?
This is a TV show.

I'm talking cameras
on every mission.

- Sara, you okay?
You look nauseous.

- Yeah, she's fine.

And now, when you go out there,
just be yourselves.

But, you know, bigger.

- Like, bigger how?

- You know, just act heroic.

You guys have a real
"Bad News Bears" vibe going on.

It's not doing you any favors.

Now that you're big-time,
people expect you

to put on a show.

- So you're asking us
not to be ourselves.

- [snaps]
This guy gets it.

Let's do this.

[cheers and applause]

- Hi, everybody.

We are the Legends,
and we just wanted to say

thank you for watching
our film.

We hope that you enjoyed it.

[applause]
- We love you, Legends!

- Of course,
none of it was real.

[chuckles]

- No, wait--it's not real?

- Excuse me?
She's joking.

- No, I'm not.
Come on, time travel?

I mean, it's the biggest hoax
in history.

Am I right?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, it's obvious
that this is all fake.

How could Rasputin
speak English?

- You told me it was
temporal linguistic dysplasia.

- I mean, if we had so much as
coughed,

our modern germs would have
wiped out half the population.

[coughs]

- Why wouldn't we just find
baby Hitler,

and make him wrestle
baby Stalin?

Think about it.

- The special effects were
kind of questionable.

- We still believe in you!
[audience booing]

- Shut up, it's not real.

- All right, everybody.

I guess that just means don't
believe

everything you see
on camera.

- Yeah, it was all just a big,
fake spectacle

just like Heyworld last year.

We are all a bunch of frauds.

- Big frauds, everybody.

- You guys ruined my movie.

- Yeah, sorry.
- Legends of losers!

- [whistling]

This is for the best,
right?

Maybe, maybe not?
I don't know.

I feel like I'm supposed
to say that.

- We're better off.
Fame messes with people.

- Still have
that money problem.

- Oh, I almost forgot.

Mick?

- [growls]

I steal things.

- Whoa, is that a Fabergé egg.
- Mm-hmm.

- What's that worth?

- 50 million.

- [gasps]

- Whoa, careful with that,
babes.

- Yeah.

- John.

What are you doing here?

- Oh, I heard your movie
premier was in town tonight,

so I thought I'd pop in.

- Well, just make yourself
at home then

- [sighs] Why can't he ever
just be normal?

- What are you doing?

- Yeah, I need
to borrow something.

Rasputin wasn't
an isolated incident.

- Not isolated,
what do you mean?

- Okay, hey, whoa
no, no, don't!

- Don't--
[gags]

- Ugh.

- [gulping]

- [gasps]

I'm putting an end to this.

- Wait, are you trying
to go back to Hell?

- Soul become my soul,
flesh become my flesh.

Hades, firstborn of Cronos,

I call upon you.

- Hey, John, there's gotta be
another way.

- I'll return when the sigil
is complete.

[lighter clicks]

- John, you take care,
you lunatic.

- I always do, love,
I always do.

[speaking foreign language]

[fire whooshing]

- [sighs]

You know, sometimes what
happens on this ship

really would be hard
for an audience to follow.

- That love letter you wrote.

It's good.

Very good.

- Gee, thank you, Mick.

This means so much
coming from you.

- Listen, um, I'm giving up
the writing.

It's getting in the way
of my thievery.

So I'm handing the Rebecca
Silver novels over to you.

Someone deserving.

- Me?

This is--this is so much.
Are you sure?

- Yes, I'm sure.
It's why I'm saying it.

There's a novelist
inside you.

- There's more inside of me
than just Wolfie?

- Yes, that's right.

- Well, it was great living
with you on the Waverider.

- What?
- Yeah.

I can't stay here to write.
I need to be free.

I need to fall in love
and break hearts.

I can't do Rebecca Silver
justice here.

- But--but I--

- But you tried writing on the
ship and ran out of ideas?

I mean, frankly, Mick, your
latest novel "Carjacked,"

it sucked.

But don't worry, Rebecca Silver
is about to have her comeback.

You'll see.

[soft dramatic music]

You were my favorite.

- How's it going, Gideon?

- The phantom memory scrub is
proceeding without a hitch.

The flaws only go as far back
as the last two years.

Oh, it feels good to get
my thoughts straight.

- Good work, Giddy.

I'm turning in.

- Goodnight, B.

- Don't stay up too late, Nate.

- You got it.

- Doctor Heywood
- Hmm?

- I have encountered a glitch
during the Heyworld event.

- Show me.

[devices humming]

- Nate.

If you're seeing this, we
altered my future at Heyworld.

I don't know where I'll be or
who I'll be but--

I know that I love you.

Find me.

[device chirps]

- Gideon.

Gideon, who was that?
Play it again.

- Memory scrub complete.

[devices whirring]

- Greg, move your head.

[fire crackling]