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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:35,930 --> 00:00:37,848 [ Car Horns Honking ] 2 00:00:37,932 --> 00:00:41,185 Hey, man, this is bullshit, man. 3 00:00:41,268 --> 00:00:43,186 Yeah, bullshit. 4 00:00:43,270 --> 00:00:45,188 I know, but it's still bullshit, man. 5 00:00:45,272 --> 00:00:47,190 Well, what can you do, man ? 6 00:00:47,274 --> 00:00:51,244 I don't know. Just be cool, man. 7 00:00:51,328 --> 00:00:54,864 - I'm cool. You be cool. - I'm cool. You just be cool. 8 00:00:57,701 --> 00:00:59,669 And don't look at that dude either. 9 00:00:59,703 --> 00:01:03,540 This is bullshit, man. Just act-- Just act real cool. 10 00:01:03,591 --> 00:01:05,542 Just act like you're a garbageman. I know. 11 00:01:05,593 --> 00:01:07,544 Just be cool when you walk by this place. 12 00:01:07,595 --> 00:01:09,880 You know, just be like-- look like we're emptying trash. 13 00:01:09,964 --> 00:01:11,882 [ Whistling ] 14 00:01:19,306 --> 00:01:21,224 Go ahead, man. Do your thing. 15 00:01:21,308 --> 00:01:24,728 Just watch the dude. I'm watchin' him, man. 16 00:01:24,778 --> 00:01:27,397 He's too busy watchin' his money. He ain't gonna watch us. 17 00:01:27,448 --> 00:01:29,399 Hey, how you doin', mama ? 18 00:01:32,236 --> 00:01:34,321 Suck, suck. 19 00:01:34,405 --> 00:01:36,740 - Hey, man. - [ Spitting, Gagging ] 20 00:01:36,790 --> 00:01:40,243 Hey, what are you doing ? Aw, this tastes like shit. 21 00:01:40,294 --> 00:01:42,546 I gotta go to work, man, with these clothes. Be cool, man. 22 00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:48,251 [ Car Engine Starting ] 23 00:01:48,302 --> 00:01:53,223 ♪ [ Cheech Singing, Indistinct ] 24 00:01:53,257 --> 00:01:55,842 [ Whistling ] 25 00:01:55,926 --> 00:01:58,061 Is that enough ? 26 00:02:00,598 --> 00:02:02,983 Okay, you got it. 27 00:02:03,067 --> 00:02:06,070 Hey, man, watch out. Hey, don't spill it, man. 28 00:02:06,103 --> 00:02:08,105 Oh, shit. Just leave it there. 29 00:02:08,155 --> 00:02:11,274 Leave the fuckin' hose ! Come on. Let's go. Shh ! 30 00:02:11,358 --> 00:02:13,493 Hey, man, watch out. You're spillin' it all over me. Shit. 31 00:02:13,577 --> 00:02:16,947 You're spillin' it all over me. Oh, shit. 32 00:02:17,031 --> 00:02:19,950 Okay, be cool, be cool. Okay, be cool. 33 00:02:20,034 --> 00:02:23,454 Just keep walkin', man. Don't even look at him, okay ? 34 00:02:23,504 --> 00:02:25,923 Oh, he's lookin', man. He's not lookin', man. Just keep walkin'. 35 00:02:25,956 --> 00:02:28,458 It's killin' my hand. Well, just keep walkin'. 36 00:02:28,542 --> 00:02:32,295 It's killin' my hand. Hey, man, you're gettin' it all-- 37 00:02:32,379 --> 00:02:35,098 Don't rock. Just be cool with it. 38 00:02:35,132 --> 00:02:37,968 I'm fucked up being cool. You're spillin' that shit all over the place. 39 00:02:38,052 --> 00:02:39,970 Well, here, it's spillin' you. Look at that. 40 00:02:40,054 --> 00:02:43,440 Why'd you fill it up so high ? Hey, ladies. 41 00:02:43,474 --> 00:02:46,727 Damn. Jesus Christ. 42 00:02:46,810 --> 00:02:48,728 Let me get in here. So goddamn heavy. 43 00:02:48,812 --> 00:02:51,364 Why do we deal with this anyways ? Shit. 44 00:02:51,448 --> 00:02:53,700 Put it down, put it down. Set it down. 45 00:02:53,784 --> 00:02:56,870 [ Sighs ] How do you open this thing ? Right here. 46 00:02:56,954 --> 00:02:58,872 Where ? 47 00:02:58,956 --> 00:03:00,874 Ow, ow, ow, geez. 48 00:03:03,043 --> 00:03:06,162 We need a funnel. Funnel ? 49 00:03:06,213 --> 00:03:08,331 Oh, fuck it. Let's just pour it in. Pour it in ? 50 00:03:08,382 --> 00:03:11,835 Yeah. Pour it in very carefully. Get it up real high. 51 00:03:11,885 --> 00:03:13,836 [ Grunting ] Don't spill it. 52 00:03:13,921 --> 00:03:17,140 Oh, man, you're fuckin' spillin' it all over. 53 00:03:17,174 --> 00:03:19,392 Come on. Shit. Where did I spill it ? 54 00:03:19,476 --> 00:03:21,511 There. 55 00:03:21,562 --> 00:03:23,764 Careful. Careful, man. Oh, fuckin' garbage. 56 00:03:23,847 --> 00:03:28,101 Careful. Why didn't you clean this thing out before you got it ? 57 00:03:28,185 --> 00:03:30,103 I had to go in the alley. 58 00:03:30,187 --> 00:03:32,822 Jesus Christ. Okay, that's enough, that's enough. 59 00:03:32,856 --> 00:03:36,609 Well, get all of it, man. Didn't carry it around for nothing. 60 00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:39,246 Okay, that's good. I'm gonna be late for work. 61 00:03:39,330 --> 00:03:41,332 Shit ! Look at this. 62 00:03:41,365 --> 00:03:44,034 Come on. Let's go. Yeah, okay. Hold on, man. 63 00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:48,172 [ Groaning ] 64 00:03:48,205 --> 00:03:50,707 Man, that's a smelly gasoline. 65 00:03:50,791 --> 00:03:53,710 Shit. That's an improvement, man. Come on. Let's blow this. 66 00:03:53,794 --> 00:03:56,296 [ Engine Revving ] 67 00:04:01,185 --> 00:04:04,972 Hey, way to go, Parnelli. Hey, relax, Holmes, I got it. 68 00:04:05,055 --> 00:04:08,558 - Hey, come on. Slow down, man. - Hey, Holmes, lay back. 69 00:04:08,609 --> 00:04:11,361 You're supposed to be a low rider, man. We're supposed to be cruisin'. 70 00:04:11,395 --> 00:04:13,697 Sit back and cruise, ese. 71 00:04:13,731 --> 00:04:15,783 You're driving like an idiot, man. 72 00:04:15,866 --> 00:04:18,568 Oh, I just can't get used to this automatic, man. 73 00:04:18,619 --> 00:04:22,372 Yeah, well, they are complicated, aren't they ? Yeah. 74 00:04:22,406 --> 00:04:25,242 Remember: "D" is that way. That way ? 75 00:04:25,292 --> 00:04:28,578 [ Chuckling ] Hey, relax, Holmes. 76 00:04:28,629 --> 00:04:30,580 Relax ? Yeah. 77 00:04:30,631 --> 00:04:32,582 Yeah, I better relax. 78 00:04:32,633 --> 00:04:35,752 Oh, shit, I'm gonna be late for work again. 79 00:04:35,803 --> 00:04:39,256 That's the fifth time I've been late this week. It's only Tuesday, man. 80 00:04:39,306 --> 00:04:41,725 Why don't you quit that lame job ? 81 00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:44,394 Hey, man, I wish I could, man. 82 00:04:44,428 --> 00:04:48,648 If I quit, the whole place would fall apart without me. I'm needed there, man. 83 00:04:48,732 --> 00:04:51,651 Responsibility is a heavy responsibility, man. 84 00:04:54,405 --> 00:04:56,573 Hey, I got it. Why don't you get a job, man ? 85 00:04:56,607 --> 00:04:58,992 Hey, I'm serious, man. 86 00:04:59,076 --> 00:05:01,862 I had a job for over six weeks now, man. 87 00:05:01,945 --> 00:05:04,864 Hey, listen, man. I already got a job. Yeah ? 88 00:05:04,948 --> 00:05:06,866 What's your job, man ? Rollin' dope ? 89 00:05:06,950 --> 00:05:10,370 Yeah. At least it's steady work, man. 90 00:05:10,454 --> 00:05:12,873 [ Laughing ] Something you're good at, man. 91 00:05:12,956 --> 00:05:16,292 Hey, I'm serious, man. You're supposed to be sellin' that dope, not smokin' it. 92 00:05:16,376 --> 00:05:18,311 We haven't even paid for it yet. 93 00:05:18,378 --> 00:05:20,797 I'm sellin' it. Yeah, you're sellin' it. 94 00:05:20,881 --> 00:05:23,216 Hey, listen, I sold two lids last night. How's that ? 95 00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:26,886 Oh, yeah ? All right, Holmes. 96 00:05:26,970 --> 00:05:29,138 - Who'd you sell 'em to ? - Me. 97 00:05:29,223 --> 00:05:32,309 Oh, man, shit. 98 00:05:32,392 --> 00:05:34,477 Man, we're gonna starve to death, man. 99 00:05:34,561 --> 00:05:37,730 No, not with me, man. I'm a good customer. 100 00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,733 Oh, man. God, dog. 101 00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:43,153 I did, man. I-I got a thing. You know what I'm gonna do ? 102 00:05:43,203 --> 00:05:45,154 What ? I figure it this way. 103 00:05:45,205 --> 00:05:47,540 Dope's gonna be legal in a few years, you know ? Yeah. 104 00:05:47,624 --> 00:05:49,542 Then-- 105 00:05:49,626 --> 00:05:53,079 Then, I'll be, you know-- It'll be a legitimate job, you know ? 106 00:05:53,163 --> 00:05:55,632 And all these other dudes, you know, that aren't ready for it. 107 00:05:55,666 --> 00:05:57,668 They won't know how to do it, see ? 108 00:05:57,718 --> 00:06:00,387 Then, like, I'll have a job. Yeah. 109 00:06:00,471 --> 00:06:03,841 Yeah, we'll have a job. That's good thinkin', man. Shit. 110 00:06:03,924 --> 00:06:07,727 If you had another brain it'd die of loneliness, man. 111 00:06:07,811 --> 00:06:09,679 God, it smells in here. 112 00:06:09,763 --> 00:06:13,767 - It's all this gas. - No, it's me. I just cut one, man. 113 00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:15,986 Oh, cocino. 114 00:06:16,019 --> 00:06:19,188 Oh, foxy mama. 115 00:06:19,273 --> 00:06:22,326 [ Chong ] Oh, man, you're sick. [ Growling ] 116 00:06:22,359 --> 00:06:25,328 - What are you talkin' about ? - Who you lookin' at ? 117 00:06:27,531 --> 00:06:31,201 Aw, not that. Aaah. No, man, that chick over there. 118 00:06:31,251 --> 00:06:34,671 Check out how fine she is. Hey, baby ! 119 00:06:34,705 --> 00:06:37,340 Hey, baby. Come on. Don't be stuck-up. 120 00:06:37,374 --> 00:06:40,343 Come on. I'll clear off a place for you to sit down. 121 00:06:40,377 --> 00:06:42,295 [ Engine Revving, Tires Screeching ] 122 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,718 [ Cheech ] Uh-oh, man, be cool. 123 00:06:48,802 --> 00:06:50,854 What's the matter ? I got company. 124 00:06:50,888 --> 00:06:53,807 Don't turn around. Just look straight ahead. 125 00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,809 [ Siren Wailing ] 126 00:07:06,153 --> 00:07:08,655 Oh, man. Hey, you got a light, man ? 127 00:07:08,739 --> 00:07:10,991 Huh ? Yeah. Light ? 128 00:07:11,074 --> 00:07:13,659 Hey, I don't think you better light it in here, man. Why ? 129 00:07:13,744 --> 00:07:15,579 All these gas fumes. Oh, man. 130 00:07:15,662 --> 00:07:17,580 I don't know. 131 00:07:20,384 --> 00:07:23,220 [ Coughing ] Stop, stop ! [ Groaning ] 132 00:07:23,253 --> 00:07:25,221 [ Groaning ] 133 00:07:25,255 --> 00:07:27,390 Hey, what are you trying to do, kill us, man ? 134 00:07:27,424 --> 00:07:31,561 What a flash, huh ? Oh, God, I told you not to light that thing. 135 00:07:31,595 --> 00:07:34,981 Well, you're the one that cut it, man. Oh, God ! 136 00:07:35,065 --> 00:07:38,985 Come on. Let's get out of here before the cops come, man. Christ, look at us. 137 00:08:03,627 --> 00:08:07,764 Oh, hey, mama. Hey, hey, fella, you need a pass ! 138 00:08:07,798 --> 00:08:10,967 Oh, I'm with "The Towering Inferno," man. 139 00:08:11,051 --> 00:08:12,969 Oh, okay, go ahead. 140 00:08:16,023 --> 00:08:19,309 [ Man ] And I want you all back on top of boxes. 141 00:08:19,359 --> 00:08:21,310 [ Woman ] Okay, everybody, back on top of the boxes. 142 00:08:21,361 --> 00:08:23,863 [ Chattering ] [ Woman ] Okay, Brenda, follow directions. 143 00:08:23,947 --> 00:08:26,566 Don't touch the girl. Sy said don't touch the girl. 144 00:08:26,650 --> 00:08:28,568 Don't touch the girl. Extend the ladies. 145 00:08:28,652 --> 00:08:30,654 [ Chattering Continues ] 146 00:08:30,704 --> 00:08:33,873 Right leg up. Right leg up. One leg up. 147 00:08:33,957 --> 00:08:36,709 Her ass is shiny. We've got a shiny ass over here. 148 00:08:36,793 --> 00:08:38,711 Shiny ass. Will somebody help me up here ? 149 00:08:38,795 --> 00:08:41,547 Okay, now what's gonna happen is you're all terrified, 150 00:08:41,632 --> 00:08:44,551 and you want Wamba to come and help you, so you scream, "Help me, Wamba !" 151 00:08:44,635 --> 00:08:47,337 - Help me, Wamba ? - Scream, "Help me, Wamba !" 152 00:08:47,421 --> 00:08:49,339 Help me, Wamba. Scream, scream. "Help me, Wamba !" 153 00:08:49,389 --> 00:08:51,808 Help me, Wamba ! Please, lose the noise ! 154 00:08:51,842 --> 00:08:53,810 Lose the noise. Quiet. Help me, Wamba ! 155 00:08:53,844 --> 00:08:57,147 - Help me, Wamba. - Help me, Wamba. 156 00:08:57,180 --> 00:08:58,764 Louder ! Louder, please ! 157 00:08:58,849 --> 00:09:02,853 - Help me, Wamba ! - Help me, Wamba ! 158 00:09:02,903 --> 00:09:05,772 Help me, Wamba ! Okay, fine. Let's take one. 159 00:09:05,856 --> 00:09:07,774 Lose the noise ! Lose the noise ! 160 00:09:07,858 --> 00:09:10,110 Quiet on the set ! Quiet on the set ! 161 00:09:10,193 --> 00:09:12,111 Come on. We're gonna try one, all right ? 162 00:09:12,195 --> 00:09:14,030 Let's take one. Cue Wamba ! 163 00:09:14,081 --> 00:09:16,416 Cue Wamba. Quiet on the set. 164 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:19,252 All right, this is a take. Marker. All right, this is a take. 165 00:09:19,336 --> 00:09:22,038 Marker. Marker ! 166 00:09:22,089 --> 00:09:24,875 And action ! Action. Action. 167 00:09:24,925 --> 00:09:27,544 Psst, Kim. Kim. 168 00:09:29,713 --> 00:09:33,967 Hold it right there, Officer. Don't slice those enchiladas. Psst. 169 00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:37,270 - Hey, Kim. - [ Man ] This one's for me. 170 00:09:37,354 --> 00:09:40,557 You lawn mowin' dog, chiquita. 171 00:09:40,607 --> 00:09:45,812 Come on, you obnoxious little weasel. That fuckin' knife is no match for a .45 ! 172 00:09:45,896 --> 00:09:48,398 What ? I need some clothes. 173 00:09:48,448 --> 00:09:50,399 There's no way. I'm too busy. 174 00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:53,870 Oh, come on, baby. Just give me a few things from wardrobe. 175 00:09:53,904 --> 00:09:55,739 Come on. What happened to you ? 176 00:09:55,822 --> 00:09:58,074 I thought you were supposed to be working. I was. 177 00:09:58,125 --> 00:10:01,461 I was on my way to work, you know, and I was just walkin' down the street. 178 00:10:01,545 --> 00:10:04,381 I swear to God. I was walkin' down. 179 00:10:04,414 --> 00:10:07,250 Then there was this building, and it was on fire. 180 00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:10,386 I ran up about five or six steps and rescued a burning baby. 181 00:10:10,420 --> 00:10:13,389 I got burning baby all over me, and that's what happened to my clothes. 182 00:10:13,423 --> 00:10:15,758 So, look, just go to wardrobe and get me a few pair of pants. 183 00:10:15,809 --> 00:10:18,595 There's no way. Come on. Just gimme a couple things from wardrobe. 184 00:10:18,645 --> 00:10:20,847 Meet me on the Mission set in ten minutes. 185 00:10:20,931 --> 00:10:23,767 No. Oh, come on, baby. 186 00:10:23,817 --> 00:10:26,236 I'll tell you a secret. Come here. I'll lick you all over for a dime. 187 00:10:26,269 --> 00:10:28,854 Stop. Okay, for free then. 188 00:10:28,939 --> 00:10:31,408 Ten minutes, at the Mission, okay ? Come on, please. 189 00:10:31,441 --> 00:10:33,526 Oh, please. I love you so much. 190 00:10:33,610 --> 00:10:35,495 Come on. Ten minutes, okay ? 191 00:10:36,446 --> 00:10:39,365 [ Moans ] [ Man Shouting ] 192 00:10:42,786 --> 00:10:45,922 Hey, Cheech ? Where's that wall I'm supposed to go crash through ? 193 00:10:45,956 --> 00:10:49,459 Oh, uh, uh, I think it's that one. 194 00:10:49,543 --> 00:10:53,046 Thanks a lot. Yeah, yeah, man. Hey, sure thing, man. 195 00:10:54,464 --> 00:10:56,432 [ Screaming ] 196 00:10:58,185 --> 00:11:02,973 [ Director ] What happened ? [ Screaming Continues ] 197 00:11:39,593 --> 00:11:42,062 [ Canister Clanging ] 198 00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:47,133 [ Dog Barking ] 199 00:12:11,675 --> 00:12:14,094 [ Grunting ] 200 00:12:14,177 --> 00:12:17,380 I won't stand still for this any longer. I'm not getting any help from the police. 201 00:12:17,430 --> 00:12:19,215 I'm not getting any help from our government. 202 00:12:19,266 --> 00:12:21,217 I'm just gonna call the Board of Health, 203 00:12:21,268 --> 00:12:25,305 and they'll just exterminate you and that cockroach you live with. 204 00:12:25,388 --> 00:12:29,725 Oh ! You're dirty and filthy and diseased ! 205 00:12:29,776 --> 00:12:33,646 We need Dr. Switzer and Dr. Salk to come into this neighborhood... 206 00:12:33,730 --> 00:12:36,232 and give it one big shot of penicillin. 207 00:12:36,283 --> 00:12:39,202 Yes ! You animal ! 208 00:12:42,539 --> 00:12:44,824 Hey, hold it. Where's your pass ? 209 00:12:44,908 --> 00:12:47,327 Pass ? Oh, okay, thanks a lot, man. 210 00:12:49,713 --> 00:12:52,632 [ Chattering ] ♪ [ Rock 'N' Roll ] 211 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,638 [ Engine Revving ] 212 00:13:27,367 --> 00:13:30,670 ♪ [ Continues Loudly ] 213 00:13:30,754 --> 00:13:32,672 ♪ Hell on wheels ♪ 214 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:35,758 ♪ I'm takin' off ♪ ♪ Takin' off ♪ 215 00:13:35,792 --> 00:13:37,760 ♪ Takin' off ♪ ♪ Takin' off ♪ 216 00:13:41,348 --> 00:13:44,267 ♪ Wheelin' on the freeway ♪ 217 00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:47,971 ♪ What a freedom ♪ 218 00:13:48,054 --> 00:13:50,973 ♪ Hung up from my tailpipe ♪ 219 00:13:51,057 --> 00:13:53,059 ♪ A screamin' hell ♪ 220 00:13:53,143 --> 00:13:55,061 ♪ On wheels ♪ 221 00:13:55,145 --> 00:13:58,114 ♪ Girl, take the chance if you wanna ♪ 222 00:13:58,148 --> 00:14:00,984 ♪ Ride the wind ♪ 223 00:14:01,034 --> 00:14:04,987 ♪ Now my mates are gonna ♪ 224 00:14:05,038 --> 00:14:09,325 ♪ Hate to love me In the end ♪ 225 00:14:09,409 --> 00:14:12,662 ♪ Don't you fall in love with me ♪ 226 00:14:12,746 --> 00:14:16,166 ♪ Don't try to close me in ♪ 227 00:14:16,216 --> 00:14:19,802 ♪ I will try to get out of here ♪ 228 00:14:19,836 --> 00:14:24,056 ♪ Gonna get in the wind ♪ 229 00:14:24,140 --> 00:14:26,675 ♪ Hell on wheels ♪ 230 00:14:26,726 --> 00:14:29,011 ♪ Is takin' off ♪ ♪ Takin' off ♪ 231 00:14:29,095 --> 00:14:31,013 ♪ Takin' off ♪ ♪ Takin' off ♪ 232 00:14:51,868 --> 00:14:54,837 ♪ [ Cheech Scatting "My Sharona" ] 233 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:05,715 ♪ My scrotum ♪ 234 00:15:05,799 --> 00:15:07,717 ♪ [ Continues ] 235 00:15:10,270 --> 00:15:12,221 ♪ My scrotum ♪ 236 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:16,559 [ Amplified Loudly ] 237 00:15:22,982 --> 00:15:25,901 [ Loud Distortion ] 238 00:15:27,037 --> 00:15:29,622 ♪ [ Blaring Guitar ] 239 00:15:39,966 --> 00:15:42,918 ♪ [ Continues ] 240 00:15:46,923 --> 00:15:49,592 [ Whining ] 241 00:15:51,261 --> 00:15:55,315 [ Crying ] Oh, they're gone ! They're all gone ! 242 00:15:55,398 --> 00:15:57,683 They killed 'em all. 243 00:15:57,767 --> 00:16:00,686 ♪ [ Continues ] 244 00:16:00,770 --> 00:16:03,322 Oh, God. 245 00:16:03,406 --> 00:16:05,775 Oh, man, not again. 246 00:16:05,825 --> 00:16:08,577 Oh, God. 247 00:16:08,611 --> 00:16:11,447 You murderers ! 248 00:16:40,276 --> 00:16:42,144 Hey, man ! 249 00:16:45,315 --> 00:16:47,650 Hey ! 250 00:16:47,734 --> 00:16:49,652 Hey, man ! 251 00:16:53,957 --> 00:16:55,992 Hey ! Hey, man ! 252 00:16:56,042 --> 00:16:58,077 Hey ! 253 00:17:04,083 --> 00:17:06,001 Oh, God. [ Panting ] 254 00:17:09,088 --> 00:17:14,343 Goddamn, man. Hope I can still have babies. Huh ? 255 00:17:14,394 --> 00:17:18,181 Oh, God, it's loud, man. Oh, shit. What ? 256 00:17:18,264 --> 00:17:21,984 Hey, come on outside, man. Gimme a hand. Huh ? 257 00:17:22,018 --> 00:17:24,820 Oh, God, that curdled my milk. What'd you say ? 258 00:17:24,854 --> 00:17:28,991 You oughta see what I got this time, man. It'll trip you out. This is the best one. 259 00:17:29,025 --> 00:17:30,993 We'll put it in the bathroom. 260 00:17:31,027 --> 00:17:34,830 Wait'll you see it. You'll trip out, man. This thing's really heavy. 261 00:17:34,864 --> 00:17:36,832 I don't know how I got 'em. I lucked out. 262 00:17:36,866 --> 00:17:39,501 They were shootin' a Las Vegas scene or something, you know ? 263 00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:42,539 They just had one more scene to go, so I grabbed it, man. 264 00:17:42,622 --> 00:17:44,540 Check it out, man. It's really choice. 265 00:17:47,126 --> 00:17:50,212 Come on. Gimme a hand. Hey, how do you like these pants too ? 266 00:17:50,263 --> 00:17:52,214 [ Moaning ] 267 00:17:52,265 --> 00:17:54,884 Hey, man, check it out. Oh, yeah, I like this. 268 00:17:54,968 --> 00:17:58,137 [ Moaning Continues ] Hey, somebody ripped off the thing I ripped off. 269 00:17:58,221 --> 00:18:01,724 Aw, shit. Oh, no. This is nice, man. 270 00:18:01,808 --> 00:18:03,893 Hey, man, come here. Gimme a hand, man. [ Moaning Continues ] 271 00:18:03,977 --> 00:18:05,895 Oh, shit. Hey, come here, quick. 272 00:18:05,979 --> 00:18:07,897 Come on. Lift it up. 273 00:18:10,233 --> 00:18:12,652 Let's get it in the house before anything else happens to it. 274 00:18:12,735 --> 00:18:15,320 You murderers ! It's a slot machine. I'm gonna put it in the bathroom. 275 00:18:15,405 --> 00:18:17,657 My hands ! My hands ! 276 00:18:18,908 --> 00:18:21,994 ♪ [ Cheech Scatting ] 277 00:18:22,078 --> 00:18:24,880 Hey, hey, hey, man. Hey, hey, hey. 278 00:18:24,914 --> 00:18:28,000 Do you know another tune ? Geez. Oh, oh, yeah. 279 00:18:28,084 --> 00:18:32,254 [ Falsetto ] ♪ One summer night ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, man. 280 00:18:32,338 --> 00:18:35,974 Get in your left lane, man. Get in your left lane. What ? 281 00:18:36,059 --> 00:18:38,428 Left ? Right. Oh, right, okay. Right. 282 00:18:38,478 --> 00:18:42,315 Your left lane, man. You said right. 283 00:18:42,398 --> 00:18:44,149 [ Horns Honking ] 284 00:18:44,234 --> 00:18:48,438 What are you doin' ? Oh, man, people don't know how to drive around here. 285 00:18:51,524 --> 00:18:54,743 Man, where'd he buy his gas ? Look out, man ! 286 00:18:54,777 --> 00:18:56,862 [ Honking ] [ Chong ] Watch out ! 287 00:18:56,946 --> 00:19:00,699 You're gonna kill us, man. You're gonna kill everybody. [ Honking ] 288 00:19:00,783 --> 00:19:03,702 Hey, brother ! Move it or milk it, huh ? 289 00:19:03,786 --> 00:19:06,622 [ Car Horn Honking ] Now what's this, man ? 290 00:19:06,706 --> 00:19:10,543 Who's this indio ? He looks like he went through Pep Boys with a magnet. 291 00:19:10,627 --> 00:19:14,297 Hey, Cochise, circle up. The wagons are gonna attack. 292 00:19:14,380 --> 00:19:17,299 [ Honking Continues ] What's goin' on, man ? 293 00:19:18,434 --> 00:19:20,352 I know what's happening, man. 294 00:19:20,436 --> 00:19:23,856 We ain't dressed right. That's why we ain't gettin' no respect. 295 00:19:23,940 --> 00:19:26,859 ♪ [ "Tequila" ] 296 00:20:08,351 --> 00:20:11,270 All right, that's better, man. 297 00:20:11,354 --> 00:20:14,774 When you go into these neighborhoods, you gotta have your stuff together. 298 00:20:14,857 --> 00:20:17,192 You gotta have your attitude, your whole trip down. 299 00:20:17,276 --> 00:20:20,295 You know, everybody throws their bad looks at you. 300 00:20:20,363 --> 00:20:22,998 Man. I feel like we should go eat tacos now or something. 301 00:20:23,032 --> 00:20:26,585 [ Laughing ] Want me to teach you some Spanish words ? Okay. 302 00:20:26,669 --> 00:20:30,005 Okay, when you see a real good friend, you say, 303 00:20:30,039 --> 00:20:33,976 "Hey, pendejo, how ya doin' ?" 304 00:20:34,043 --> 00:20:37,212 Try it. Hey, "pendecko," how ya doin' ? 305 00:20:37,263 --> 00:20:39,515 Yeah, that's close enough. What does that mean ? 306 00:20:39,549 --> 00:20:42,218 Oh, that means, uh, "my real good friend." 307 00:20:42,268 --> 00:20:45,054 Pende-- Pen-- How's that again ? 308 00:20:45,104 --> 00:20:47,973 Pendejo, man. "Pendecko." 309 00:20:48,057 --> 00:20:51,810 Yeah, yeah. You know. Then say, "Bend over, 'pendecko.'" 310 00:20:51,894 --> 00:20:54,696 Hey, Holmes. 311 00:20:56,199 --> 00:20:58,117 Hey, that's a nice car, man. 312 00:20:58,201 --> 00:21:01,404 You better get it back to the circus before they find out it's gone. 313 00:21:05,208 --> 00:21:06,959 Oh, you wanna jump, huh ? 314 00:21:08,911 --> 00:21:11,997 Hey, is that all the higher you can get it up, man ? 315 00:21:12,081 --> 00:21:14,016 [ Laughing ] Go ahead. Hit it, man. 316 00:21:14,083 --> 00:21:16,418 Whoo ! 317 00:21:16,502 --> 00:21:19,755 [ Laughing ] 318 00:21:19,839 --> 00:21:22,558 [ Shouting ] 319 00:21:28,264 --> 00:21:30,566 [ Laughing ] 320 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:34,236 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 321 00:21:46,866 --> 00:21:48,918 Hey, knock it off. 322 00:21:48,951 --> 00:21:50,836 Hey, man, stop ! 323 00:21:52,672 --> 00:21:55,424 [ Shouting Continues ] Hey ! Hey, man, stop ! 324 00:21:55,458 --> 00:21:58,043 Hey ! Oh, shit ! 325 00:21:58,127 --> 00:22:00,262 [ Shouting Continues ] 326 00:22:00,296 --> 00:22:02,131 Hey ! [ Laughing ] 327 00:22:02,215 --> 00:22:06,969 Hey, man, stop, man ! Hey, man, let go ! 328 00:22:07,019 --> 00:22:10,972 Turn it off, man ! We're all messed up ! 329 00:22:11,057 --> 00:22:13,392 Man, what are you doing ? Hey ! 330 00:22:13,476 --> 00:22:15,611 [ Speaking In Spanish ] 331 00:22:15,645 --> 00:22:18,230 [ Shouting In Spanish ] ♪ Tequila ♪ 332 00:22:18,314 --> 00:22:20,282 Hey, pendejos, how ya doin' ? 333 00:22:20,316 --> 00:22:23,152 [ Shouting Angrily In Spanish ] 334 00:22:23,202 --> 00:22:26,321 Don't say pendejos. He didn't mean anything ! Hey, pendejos ! 335 00:22:26,372 --> 00:22:29,324 What he meant was-- What ? Huh ? 336 00:22:29,408 --> 00:22:32,577 [ Shouting Continues ] 337 00:22:32,662 --> 00:22:35,665 We gotta go now. [ Chuckling ] 338 00:22:35,715 --> 00:22:39,135 You got a nice yard. Yeah, see you, pendejos. 339 00:22:51,848 --> 00:22:54,317 ♪ Tequila ♪ 340 00:22:54,350 --> 00:22:56,318 [ Cheech ] ♪ Aye, Chicona ♪ 341 00:22:56,352 --> 00:22:59,688 [ Whistling ] Hey, it's about time, man. What do you got ? Gimme some. 342 00:22:59,772 --> 00:23:01,690 What ? Give me a drink, man. 343 00:23:01,774 --> 00:23:03,776 Come on, man. Gimme a drink. Of this ? 344 00:23:03,860 --> 00:23:07,113 Yeah. Oh, go ahead, man. Help yourself. 345 00:23:07,196 --> 00:23:09,364 Wait a minute. [ Sniffing ] 346 00:23:09,448 --> 00:23:12,250 Hey, man, that's pee ! [ Chuckling ] No kidding. 347 00:23:12,335 --> 00:23:15,454 What are you doing with pee ? It's for my probation officer. 348 00:23:15,538 --> 00:23:19,675 - What, does he drink pee ? - No, man. Last week I was supposed to bring some in. 349 00:23:19,709 --> 00:23:23,012 Yeah. And I forgot to wash out the jar first, you know. 350 00:23:23,045 --> 00:23:26,298 Yuck ! So they see all the mayonnaise floatin' around in there, 351 00:23:26,382 --> 00:23:30,386 and they think I'm on some kind of weird drug again. [ Chuckling ] Right. 352 00:23:30,436 --> 00:23:33,388 I'm really gonna fuck with his mind this time. Why ? What'd you do ? 353 00:23:33,439 --> 00:23:35,441 I had my sister pee in it. Yeah ? 354 00:23:35,525 --> 00:23:39,228 Yeah, and she's pregnant. [ Laughing ] [ Laughing ] 355 00:23:39,278 --> 00:23:43,065 Hey, did you get the weed ? No, she's out of it, man. 356 00:23:43,115 --> 00:23:46,568 So they're just waitin' on some from Colombia. Watch the bumps, man. 357 00:23:46,619 --> 00:23:48,904 Watch the bumps. Yeah, watch out. Oh, that bump there. 358 00:23:48,955 --> 00:23:51,907 It'll probably spill all over if I hit it real hard ! 359 00:23:51,958 --> 00:23:54,160 Come on, man. 360 00:23:54,243 --> 00:23:56,745 Oh, I'm so very sorry. [ Chuckling ] 361 00:23:56,796 --> 00:24:00,966 You're getting it all over my clothes. Watch where you're driving. 362 00:24:01,050 --> 00:24:03,635 Watch my car do the twist. ♪ Hey, let's twist again ♪ 363 00:24:03,719 --> 00:24:05,921 Come on, man. ♪ Like we did last summer ♪ 364 00:24:05,972 --> 00:24:08,808 Come on. Come on, man. 365 00:24:08,891 --> 00:24:11,143 Now, hey, come on. I'm spillin' it, man. 366 00:24:11,227 --> 00:24:14,980 Hey, hold on. [ Laughing ] Oh, watch out. 367 00:24:17,733 --> 00:24:21,737 You smell like pee, man. Hey, Cheech. Hey, hey, man, look. 368 00:24:23,656 --> 00:24:26,775 [ Speaking In Spanish ] 369 00:24:26,859 --> 00:24:28,944 Man, where'd you get that ? 370 00:24:28,995 --> 00:24:31,914 My sister gave it to me. God, what is that, man ? 371 00:24:31,948 --> 00:24:35,751 What does it look like ? It looks like coke. 372 00:24:35,785 --> 00:24:38,871 Yeah, and it smells like coke too. 373 00:24:38,955 --> 00:24:43,376 All right, man. Hey, let's party, man. Gimme some. 374 00:24:43,459 --> 00:24:45,594 No. No, I can't. It's gotta last me. 375 00:24:45,628 --> 00:24:47,880 Hey, come on, man. Gimme a hit, man. 376 00:24:47,964 --> 00:24:50,383 No. I-I-I'd like to, man, 377 00:24:50,466 --> 00:24:53,969 but I don't wanna be responsible for turnin' you into a drug addict. 378 00:24:54,053 --> 00:24:56,805 Oh, man, I ain't gonna turn into a drug addict. Gimme a little hit. 379 00:24:56,856 --> 00:24:59,692 This shit's bad for you, man. Don't you read Ann Landers ? 380 00:24:59,775 --> 00:25:02,394 Man, come on. No, it'll give you brain damage, man. 381 00:25:02,478 --> 00:25:05,197 Come on, man. Just gimme a little bit. Man, come on. No. 382 00:25:05,281 --> 00:25:07,199 Hey, come on, please. No. 383 00:25:07,283 --> 00:25:11,320 Man, come on ! No, it's all I got, man. 384 00:25:11,370 --> 00:25:13,989 I could get laid with this, huh ? Shit. 385 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,709 Okay, I don't want any. Good. 386 00:25:16,792 --> 00:25:19,995 Hey, man, don't be so chickenshit, man. Gimme some. 387 00:25:20,046 --> 00:25:23,799 Come on, man. Just let me smell it then. No. 388 00:25:23,833 --> 00:25:26,252 Come on. Just let me, let me hold it just for-- You can just smell it. 389 00:25:26,335 --> 00:25:28,253 I just wanna smell it. Just smell it. That's all. 390 00:25:28,337 --> 00:25:30,255 All right. You promise you won't take any. 391 00:25:30,339 --> 00:25:32,674 I promise. Cross my heart, hope to die, 100 needles in my eye. 392 00:25:32,725 --> 00:25:35,144 Come on. Gimme some. That smells of-- Okay. 393 00:25:35,177 --> 00:25:37,095 Hey ! [ Laughing ] 394 00:25:39,682 --> 00:25:41,650 [ Coughing ] 395 00:25:45,187 --> 00:25:47,322 [ Gagging ] 396 00:25:47,356 --> 00:25:49,941 Hey, man ! That's salt, man ! 397 00:25:50,026 --> 00:25:52,828 No shit ? [ Laughing ] [ Gagging ] 398 00:25:54,864 --> 00:25:57,333 Hey, don't drink that, man. [ Laughing ] 399 00:25:58,534 --> 00:26:00,502 Oh, shit ! I'm gonna die. 400 00:26:00,536 --> 00:26:02,871 [ Tires Skidding ] Hey, watch the road, man. 401 00:26:02,955 --> 00:26:05,340 I'm gonna die ! I'm gonna die ! 402 00:26:05,374 --> 00:26:08,210 Hey, watch out ! Hey, watch the road ! 403 00:26:08,260 --> 00:26:10,178 Here, here, here. 404 00:26:11,213 --> 00:26:13,181 [ Groaning ] 405 00:26:16,769 --> 00:26:20,055 [ Groaning Continues ] [ Laughing ] 406 00:26:20,106 --> 00:26:23,726 Hey, watch the road, man. Watch the road. 407 00:26:23,809 --> 00:26:25,744 [ Laughing ] Watch the road. 408 00:26:56,759 --> 00:26:59,728 [ Belches ] 409 00:27:02,264 --> 00:27:05,233 ♪ Good day, sunshine ♪ 410 00:27:11,607 --> 00:27:13,575 [ Sniffing ] 411 00:27:18,030 --> 00:27:20,949 ♪ [ Singing, Indistinct ] 412 00:27:40,219 --> 00:27:42,137 Shit. 413 00:27:54,233 --> 00:27:56,985 Hey, man, wake up. Hey, man, wake up. 414 00:27:57,036 --> 00:27:59,655 We've been ripped off, man. We've been ripped off. What ? 415 00:27:59,705 --> 00:28:01,656 Where ? Who ? Who did it ? Oh, the van. 416 00:28:01,707 --> 00:28:04,376 The van's gone, man ! I parked out in front last night. 417 00:28:04,460 --> 00:28:06,578 Now I went out there, and it's not parked out in front no more. 418 00:28:06,662 --> 00:28:10,499 Somebody took us. Shit, why did I take it home ? Why did I take it home ? 419 00:28:10,549 --> 00:28:13,885 We gotta call somebody. Where's the phone book ? What ? 420 00:28:13,969 --> 00:28:17,505 The van, the van ! I parked the van out there, and now it's not there. 421 00:28:17,556 --> 00:28:21,393 It's gone. Yeah, it's gone. Duh, uh, yeah. 422 00:28:21,477 --> 00:28:24,429 Oh, God, why did I take it home ? Maybe I left the keys in it. 423 00:28:24,513 --> 00:28:27,983 What do you mean ? Shit, I hot-wired it myself. 424 00:28:28,017 --> 00:28:30,019 Oh, God, why did I take it home ? 425 00:28:30,102 --> 00:28:32,687 Where's the phone book, man ? 426 00:28:32,738 --> 00:28:35,741 What am I gonna tell 'im ? What am I gonna tell 'im ? 427 00:28:35,825 --> 00:28:38,077 I'll tell 'im I lied. That's what I'll tell 'im, man. 428 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:41,363 Why don't you tell 'im the truth, man ? What do you mean ? 429 00:28:41,447 --> 00:28:43,365 I can just see me tellin' 'im... 430 00:28:43,449 --> 00:28:46,835 "Mr. Straumberg, you know that van that I wasn't supposed to take home overnight ? 431 00:28:46,869 --> 00:28:49,037 Well, I took it home overnight, and it got stolen." 432 00:28:49,088 --> 00:28:52,207 You know what he's gonna say, man ? [ Screaming ] 433 00:28:52,291 --> 00:28:54,209 [ Crashing Noise, Cackling ] 434 00:28:54,293 --> 00:28:56,712 Yeah, tell him the truth. 435 00:28:56,795 --> 00:29:01,766 Hey, come on. Help me out, man. What am I gonna tell him ? Help me find the phone book too. 436 00:29:01,851 --> 00:29:03,769 [ Sighs ] Goddamn it. 437 00:29:03,853 --> 00:29:07,890 Oh, shit. Oh, what am I gonna do ? Why did I take it home, man ? 438 00:29:07,973 --> 00:29:09,975 Shit. [ Groaning ] 439 00:29:10,059 --> 00:29:13,979 Hey, man, help me out, man ! I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin'. 440 00:29:14,063 --> 00:29:17,983 I'll tell him the gypsy story. How's that ? No, tell him-- 441 00:29:18,067 --> 00:29:21,070 Tell him you needed the van to take out his daughter. 442 00:29:21,153 --> 00:29:23,071 Oh, man, I don't take out his daughter. 443 00:29:23,155 --> 00:29:26,575 Yeah, but he'll be so worried about his daughter, he'll forget all about the van. 444 00:29:26,659 --> 00:29:28,577 Oh, man, I better call the cops. 445 00:29:28,661 --> 00:29:30,913 What are they under, "cops" ? No, no, "law." Yeah. 446 00:29:30,963 --> 00:29:33,215 No, no, "heat." Heat, heat, heat. 447 00:29:33,249 --> 00:29:35,634 "Heating and Plumbing." What is that, 4-1-1 ? 448 00:29:35,718 --> 00:29:38,387 [ Ringing ] Oh, shit, that's work. 449 00:29:38,420 --> 00:29:40,388 Hey, man, answer the phone, please. 450 00:29:40,422 --> 00:29:42,640 Come on, man. It's work. I know it's work. Answer the phone for me. 451 00:29:42,725 --> 00:29:44,643 Come on, man. All right, don't be so chickenshit. 452 00:29:46,595 --> 00:29:49,397 I'll give you my last stick of tie weed. [ Ringing Continues ] 453 00:29:49,431 --> 00:29:51,399 Come on. Just answer the phone, man. Oh, man. 454 00:29:51,433 --> 00:29:54,986 Come on. Just answer the phone. Shit. Hello ? 455 00:29:55,070 --> 00:29:58,990 Yeah, he's right here. Just a minute. It's for you. 456 00:29:59,074 --> 00:30:00,992 Thanks a lot. 457 00:30:02,244 --> 00:30:04,446 Hello ? 458 00:30:04,530 --> 00:30:06,582 Hi, Mr. Straumberg. How are you, sir ? 459 00:30:06,615 --> 00:30:09,784 I was just gonna call you. You'll never guess what happened. 460 00:30:09,835 --> 00:30:14,089 I took the van out overnight, and I kept it. 461 00:30:14,123 --> 00:30:17,543 And, uh, it's just been stolen. Ah ! 462 00:30:18,627 --> 00:30:21,546 I'm fi-- Oh. 463 00:30:21,630 --> 00:30:23,565 For what ? 464 00:30:35,227 --> 00:30:37,696 You still owe me two weeks for my pay. 465 00:30:37,780 --> 00:30:41,366 Yeah, well, that was a loan. That wasn't an advance. 466 00:30:41,450 --> 00:30:45,036 Okay. Thank you. 467 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,705 I wouldn't take out your daughter if she had ten tits. 468 00:30:47,790 --> 00:30:50,159 What happened, man ? I got fired, man. 469 00:30:50,209 --> 00:30:52,995 Well, they got the van ? Yeah, they got the van. They took it this morning. 470 00:30:53,078 --> 00:30:56,498 Shit. After all I did for him too, huh ? 471 00:30:56,548 --> 00:30:59,000 Man, some people. [ Groaning ] 472 00:30:59,051 --> 00:31:01,503 Well, where is that tie stick ? 473 00:31:01,553 --> 00:31:04,505 [ Whispering ] Oh, man, shit. 474 00:31:04,556 --> 00:31:06,808 Well, at least we've still got welfare. 475 00:31:06,842 --> 00:31:08,760 [ Shouting ] 476 00:31:21,073 --> 00:31:23,158 I wanna be downright holy with you, so you could-- 477 00:31:23,192 --> 00:31:25,160 Come on. Give me my money. 478 00:31:25,194 --> 00:31:28,163 Did you get a card from them ? Check the files again. 479 00:31:30,032 --> 00:31:32,200 Just look in the files. Look under my name. 480 00:31:32,284 --> 00:31:34,369 I gave you the name. It's in there. 481 00:31:34,453 --> 00:31:36,872 Just check it out. Check out the files. 482 00:31:36,922 --> 00:31:39,341 Hey, sucker, take a number. 483 00:31:39,375 --> 00:31:41,343 Oh, how about number one ? 484 00:31:42,378 --> 00:31:44,296 Come on, lady. Gimme my money. 485 00:31:48,183 --> 00:31:51,219 Hey, man, you got the whole thing. What's this ? 486 00:31:51,270 --> 00:31:53,221 This ain't no money. I want some green. 487 00:31:53,272 --> 00:31:55,274 Gimme some money. That's what I'm talking about. 488 00:31:55,357 --> 00:31:57,809 Hey, hey, brother, they just called your number. [ Children Giggling ] 489 00:31:57,893 --> 00:31:59,978 Yeah, over there. Hurry up, man. 490 00:32:00,062 --> 00:32:02,564 Hey, go out for a pass, you guys. Go on. ♪ Da-da-da-da-ra ♪ 491 00:32:02,614 --> 00:32:04,565 Yea ! 492 00:32:07,536 --> 00:32:11,373 You want me to get militant or something ? Hey, get me a translator over here ! 493 00:32:11,407 --> 00:32:15,327 I hope Donna comes pretty soon, man. 494 00:32:15,411 --> 00:32:18,547 Hope she hasn't eaten. [ Chuckling ] I got something for her. 495 00:32:18,580 --> 00:32:22,383 A tubesteak smothered in underwear. Mmm. 496 00:32:25,754 --> 00:32:27,889 Oh, there she is. 497 00:32:27,923 --> 00:32:30,225 [ Both Moaning ] 498 00:32:30,259 --> 00:32:32,427 Oh, she's too much. 499 00:32:32,511 --> 00:32:35,096 Shake 'em, you won't break 'em. [ Moaning ] 500 00:32:35,180 --> 00:32:37,932 Hey, baby ! 501 00:32:40,853 --> 00:32:42,771 What ? Around ? 502 00:32:44,656 --> 00:32:46,941 You wanna go around the world ? Both of us ? 503 00:32:46,992 --> 00:32:48,943 [ Chuckling ] All right. 504 00:32:48,994 --> 00:32:51,529 Okay. Come on. Come on, man. 505 00:32:51,613 --> 00:32:54,532 [ Shouting Continues ] 506 00:33:12,968 --> 00:33:14,886 Ooh, hot mama ! 507 00:33:14,970 --> 00:33:17,639 Hey, Cheecheto. Hey. [ Giggling ] 508 00:33:17,723 --> 00:33:20,142 Shh. Keep it down, man. Hi, guys. 509 00:33:20,225 --> 00:33:23,144 Why don't you wait in there for me ? I'll be right out. All right. 510 00:33:23,195 --> 00:33:25,647 I got a private conference. Come on. 511 00:33:27,616 --> 00:33:31,453 You gotta cool it, man. [ Groaning ] 512 00:33:31,487 --> 00:33:33,822 No. Come on, don't. Not now. 513 00:33:33,872 --> 00:33:37,158 I don't want to do anything now because you're gonna make me lose my job. 514 00:33:37,209 --> 00:33:39,377 [ Laughing ] 515 00:33:39,461 --> 00:33:41,996 You'll just have to excuse me now or I'll lose my job. 516 00:33:42,047 --> 00:33:44,883 Stop. Don't do that. I said, not now. 517 00:33:44,967 --> 00:33:48,670 Oh, God, Cheeto, not here. Relax. 518 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,672 Don't do it now. Don't you understand I'm working right now ? 519 00:33:51,757 --> 00:33:54,009 You know you wanna do this. Oh, God. 520 00:33:57,012 --> 00:33:58,980 [ Donna Moaning ] 521 00:33:59,014 --> 00:34:01,182 ♪ [ Imitating Guitar, Blues ] 522 00:34:01,266 --> 00:34:03,318 ♪ [ Imitating Harmonica, Blues ] 523 00:34:07,856 --> 00:34:09,774 ♪ Saw my bookie this mornin' ♪ 524 00:34:11,693 --> 00:34:14,362 I know, but you're gonna make me lose my button. 525 00:34:14,446 --> 00:34:16,364 Oh, gosh, you-- 526 00:34:17,666 --> 00:34:19,584 [ Laughing ] 527 00:34:19,668 --> 00:34:21,586 [ High-Pitched Noises ] 528 00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,542 Don't. Stop ! 529 00:34:27,626 --> 00:34:30,595 Don't. Leave it alone. Let me do it. 530 00:34:30,679 --> 00:34:32,964 Don't. Don't stop. Don't. 531 00:34:33,048 --> 00:34:34,966 [ Imitating Spaceship Whirring ] 532 00:34:39,638 --> 00:34:41,556 It's all right to smoke in here. 533 00:34:43,976 --> 00:34:46,228 Oh, Cheeto, come on. You're gonna get me in so much trouble. 534 00:34:46,278 --> 00:34:49,230 Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. [ Imitating Siren ] 535 00:34:49,281 --> 00:34:51,232 [ Giggling ] 536 00:34:51,283 --> 00:34:53,652 [ Screaming ] 537 00:34:53,735 --> 00:34:56,654 You're gonna get me in trouble. Can't you wait until lunchtime ? 538 00:34:56,738 --> 00:35:00,158 [ Screams ] Come on. I got a lot of stuff to do, baby. 539 00:35:00,242 --> 00:35:02,244 Hey, you want some Coke ? 540 00:35:02,294 --> 00:35:04,579 Want a Coke ? 541 00:35:04,630 --> 00:35:06,581 No, thanks. 542 00:35:06,632 --> 00:35:09,134 [ Sniffing ] 543 00:35:09,218 --> 00:35:11,136 Ow ! Shit ! 544 00:35:12,721 --> 00:35:14,973 [ Panting ] 545 00:35:15,057 --> 00:35:17,893 Ooh, baby. 546 00:35:17,926 --> 00:35:19,811 [ Imitating Baby Crying ] 547 00:35:23,899 --> 00:35:27,319 [ Imitating Baby Sucking Pacifier ] 548 00:35:27,402 --> 00:35:30,655 [ Imitating Baby Crying ] 549 00:35:30,739 --> 00:35:32,657 Aw, shut up. 550 00:35:35,777 --> 00:35:37,695 Don't. Stop it. 551 00:35:39,615 --> 00:35:42,250 Mr. Cheech. Huh ? 552 00:35:42,284 --> 00:35:46,454 - Mr. Cheech. - Oh, he's in there, ma'am. 553 00:35:46,538 --> 00:35:48,623 [ Donna Screaming ] 554 00:35:54,463 --> 00:35:56,431 [ Cheech ] Oh, there we go, baby. 555 00:36:01,887 --> 00:36:04,556 Now what is going on here ? [ Gasping ] 556 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,892 This is an office, not a flophouse. 557 00:36:06,975 --> 00:36:09,477 I told you, man, you were gonna get me in trouble. 558 00:36:09,528 --> 00:36:11,479 Donna, I've been meaning to talk to you. 559 00:36:11,530 --> 00:36:13,481 [ Shouting, Indistinct ] 560 00:36:13,532 --> 00:36:16,651 [ Imitating Dog Barking ] 561 00:36:16,702 --> 00:36:19,154 [ Imitating Cat And Dog Fighting ] 562 00:36:19,204 --> 00:36:22,323 [ Shouting Continues ] 563 00:36:22,374 --> 00:36:24,325 I ain't gonna listen to you ! 564 00:36:26,545 --> 00:36:28,496 Oh, shit. 565 00:36:28,547 --> 00:36:31,550 Stop that. Geez, man. 566 00:36:31,633 --> 00:36:35,053 Oh, man, I was just tryin' to find a quarter on the floor. Damn. 567 00:36:37,172 --> 00:36:39,140 ♪ Hit the road, Jack ♪ 568 00:36:39,174 --> 00:36:42,727 ♪ Don't you come back no more no more, no more, no more ♪ 569 00:36:42,811 --> 00:36:44,729 ♪ Hit the road, Jack ♪ 570 00:36:44,813 --> 00:36:48,683 ♪ Don't you come back no more ♪ ♪ What you say ♪ 571 00:36:48,767 --> 00:36:54,689 ♪ Hit the road, Jack Don't you come back no more no more, no more, no more ♪ 572 00:36:59,277 --> 00:37:02,446 ♪ [ Humming ] Yeah, yeah, right there. Okay, let's try it. 573 00:37:02,531 --> 00:37:07,002 ♪ Mexican-Americans don't like to just get into gang fights ♪ 574 00:37:07,035 --> 00:37:09,921 ♪ They like flowers and music ♪ 575 00:37:10,005 --> 00:37:14,209 ♪ And white girls named Debbie too ♪ 576 00:37:14,292 --> 00:37:16,210 ♪ Mexican-Americans ♪ 577 00:37:16,261 --> 00:37:20,298 ♪ Are named Chata and Chilla and Chema ♪ 578 00:37:20,382 --> 00:37:24,018 ♪ And have a son-in-law named Jeff ♪ 579 00:37:24,052 --> 00:37:26,471 ♪ Mexican-Americans ♪ 580 00:37:26,555 --> 00:37:29,724 ♪ Don't like to get up early in the morning ♪ 581 00:37:29,775 --> 00:37:34,062 ♪ But they have to so they do it real slow ♪ 582 00:37:35,981 --> 00:37:39,401 ♪ Mexican-Americans love education ♪ 583 00:37:39,484 --> 00:37:44,121 ♪ So they go to night school and they take Spanish and get a "B" ♪ 584 00:37:45,624 --> 00:37:47,575 Yeah, just like that. 585 00:37:47,626 --> 00:37:50,879 ♪ Mexican-Americans love their nanas ♪ 586 00:37:50,912 --> 00:37:53,331 ♪ And their no-nos and their ninas ♪ 587 00:37:53,415 --> 00:37:58,086 ♪ And their ninos Nanu, nanu Nina, no, no ♪ 588 00:37:58,136 --> 00:38:00,087 ♪ Mexican-Americans ♪ 589 00:38:00,138 --> 00:38:02,089 ♪ Don't like to go to the movies ♪ 590 00:38:02,140 --> 00:38:04,809 ♪ Where the dude has to wear contact lenses ♪ 591 00:38:04,893 --> 00:38:06,811 ♪ To make his blue eyes brown ♪ 592 00:38:06,895 --> 00:38:09,931 ♪ 'Cause don't it make my brown eyes blue ♪ 593 00:38:10,015 --> 00:38:13,685 That's all I got. How do you like it ? 594 00:38:13,769 --> 00:38:17,489 Oh, that's good. Oh, yeah. That's like a protest tune, man. 595 00:38:17,572 --> 00:38:21,525 Yeah, I-I dig that, man, but while you were singing that, I wrote another tune. 596 00:38:21,610 --> 00:38:23,528 Oh, yeah ? Yeah. 597 00:38:23,612 --> 00:38:26,948 It's like the same thing, only different, you know. Do you wanna hear it ? 598 00:38:27,032 --> 00:38:29,451 Yeah, let's hear it. It's like a little more rock 'n' roll in it. 599 00:38:29,501 --> 00:38:31,452 All right, we'll get down. It goes something like this. 600 00:38:35,624 --> 00:38:37,592 ♪ Beaners ♪ 601 00:38:39,845 --> 00:38:42,881 ♪ Beaners ♪ [ Phone Ringing ] 602 00:38:42,964 --> 00:38:45,516 I gotta work a little more on the lyrics, you know. Yeah, that's heavy, man. 603 00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:49,186 It's kinda like, you know-- Yeah, I know. 604 00:38:49,271 --> 00:38:54,142 ♪ Beaners gonna ♪ [ Ringing Continues ] 605 00:38:54,226 --> 00:38:58,029 Hello ? ♪ Mexican-Americans like to answer telephones ♪ 606 00:38:58,113 --> 00:39:01,316 ♪ And say hello to whoever's on the other end ♪ ♪ Beaners ♪ 607 00:39:01,366 --> 00:39:03,368 Who's a tonto ? 608 00:39:03,452 --> 00:39:07,706 ♪ Beaners Gonna eat beans ♪ 609 00:39:07,789 --> 00:39:09,907 Yeah. ♪ Beaners ♪ 610 00:39:09,991 --> 00:39:14,328 Oh, Donna. Hey, baby. Hey, I was just thinkin' about you. 611 00:39:14,379 --> 00:39:16,547 "Boin-oi-oing." 612 00:39:16,631 --> 00:39:19,717 Wait a minute. The blood's rushin' from my head. I'm gonna pass out. 613 00:39:19,801 --> 00:39:23,504 [ Panting, Chuckling ] Hey, what you doin' ? 614 00:39:23,588 --> 00:39:28,342 ♪ Beaners will kick ya in the face ♪ 615 00:39:28,426 --> 00:39:30,344 Hey, you wanna go out tonight ? 616 00:39:30,395 --> 00:39:33,064 You do ? [ Moaning ] 617 00:39:33,148 --> 00:39:36,851 I don't care. Anywhere. How about over here ? ♪ Beaners gonna ♪ 618 00:39:36,902 --> 00:39:41,656 Oh, yeah ? Yeah ? Oh, well, yeah, yeah. Come by any time. 619 00:39:41,690 --> 00:39:44,526 I'll just be here. I'll be waiting with "balls" on. 620 00:39:44,609 --> 00:39:48,162 [ Chuckling ] You're so too much. 621 00:39:48,196 --> 00:39:52,366 Okay, I'll see you in a little while. Hey, man. 622 00:39:52,417 --> 00:39:54,702 ♪ Beaners ♪ Hey, hey, hey, you gotta get out of here, man. 623 00:39:54,786 --> 00:39:56,871 Put down the-- Put down your guitar. What happened ? 624 00:39:56,955 --> 00:39:58,873 Come on. Donna's coming over, man. Who ? 625 00:39:58,957 --> 00:40:01,009 Donna. Donna. Get outta here, man. 626 00:40:01,042 --> 00:40:03,210 Donna. You know, from the welfare office ? Who's Donna ? 627 00:40:03,261 --> 00:40:05,379 Donna, with the big "cha-cha bingos." Well, so what ? 628 00:40:05,430 --> 00:40:09,467 Well, like, she's comin' over. I gotta clean up this place, so can you leave ? 629 00:40:09,551 --> 00:40:12,554 I got nowhere to go. Go see a movie or somethin', man. 630 00:40:12,604 --> 00:40:15,306 Isn't there a biker movie or a "Gidget Ga-Ga Gets Gooey"... 631 00:40:15,390 --> 00:40:18,109 that started playin' down at the drive-in ? I don't have any bread. 632 00:40:18,193 --> 00:40:21,145 [ Phone Ringing ] I'll give you a dollar, man. I don't got any bread. 633 00:40:21,229 --> 00:40:24,565 Hey, man, just go take a walk or something for-- [ Ringing Continues ] 634 00:40:24,616 --> 00:40:27,068 The phone again. Oh, shit. She can't wait. 635 00:40:27,118 --> 00:40:30,204 Oh, so too much. ♪ Oh, Donna ♪ 636 00:40:30,238 --> 00:40:34,742 ♪ Oh, Donna What's happening, baby ♪ 637 00:40:34,793 --> 00:40:37,212 Who ? DeWayne ? 638 00:40:40,882 --> 00:40:44,752 Hi, Red. When did you get into town, man ? 639 00:40:44,803 --> 00:40:49,390 Oh, yeah ? Oh, it's so nice to hear from you. 640 00:40:49,424 --> 00:40:52,260 What's wrong ? No, I don't have no money. 641 00:40:52,310 --> 00:40:56,263 Okay, where are you ? Shit. 642 00:40:56,314 --> 00:40:58,983 What room ? 643 00:40:59,067 --> 00:41:01,152 Well, I'll do what I can, man. 644 00:41:01,236 --> 00:41:04,572 All right, I'll be-- All right, all right. I'll be right over. 645 00:41:04,606 --> 00:41:07,275 Yeah, sure. Oh, shit, man. 646 00:41:07,359 --> 00:41:09,277 Hey, do me a favor, will you please ? 647 00:41:09,361 --> 00:41:11,863 It's my cousin on the phone. Well, he's kinda like a cousin. 648 00:41:11,947 --> 00:41:14,866 But, well, like, you know, we-- He's a cousin. 649 00:41:14,950 --> 00:41:17,786 He's really a good dude, man. Yeah, he's a good dude. 650 00:41:17,836 --> 00:41:21,039 He's got plenty of dope and chicks, man. He likes to party. 651 00:41:21,122 --> 00:41:24,291 Why don't you just go over and party with him, okay ? Should I bring him back here ? 652 00:41:24,376 --> 00:41:26,961 No, man, don't bring him back here, man. 653 00:41:27,045 --> 00:41:29,464 He likes to go to clubs and concerts, you know, really get down. 654 00:41:29,547 --> 00:41:32,299 Just go and party with him. Where's he at ? 655 00:41:32,384 --> 00:41:35,103 Oh, oh, he's at the hotel. Hold on. I'll get the thing right here. Yeah. 656 00:41:35,136 --> 00:41:39,056 He's over here, man. Why don't you just go party with him, man ? 657 00:41:39,140 --> 00:41:44,145 I ain't got no dough, man. Oh, shit. Wait. Shit, I ain't got no money. 658 00:41:44,195 --> 00:41:48,866 What am I talking about ? He's a Texas oil millionaire. You'll have a really good time. 659 00:41:48,950 --> 00:41:52,370 This guy, he's a part of our family, but we hardly ever see him. 660 00:41:52,454 --> 00:41:54,989 Tell him I said hi. Don't bring him over. 661 00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,742 Tell him that we got smallpox or something. 662 00:41:57,826 --> 00:42:00,879 ♪ Tonight, tonight ♪ 663 00:42:00,962 --> 00:42:02,880 ♪ [ Humming ] 664 00:42:02,964 --> 00:42:06,667 ♪ Hey, hey Hey, hey, hey ♪ 665 00:42:06,718 --> 00:42:10,671 ♪ Macho, macho man ♪ ♪ Macho man, yeah ♪ 666 00:42:10,722 --> 00:42:15,176 ♪ I've got to be a macho man ♪ ♪ I've got to be a macho ♪ 667 00:42:15,226 --> 00:42:18,012 Hey, thanks a lot, man. Okay, man. 668 00:42:18,096 --> 00:42:21,649 Wow, this is a great bike. Hey, are you sure I can't buy you a drink ? 669 00:42:21,683 --> 00:42:24,519 Uh, no, thanks, man. Maybe some other time. 670 00:42:26,271 --> 00:42:29,007 Pity. 671 00:42:29,074 --> 00:42:33,027 How ya doin' there, man ? How ya doin' ? Merry Christmas. 672 00:42:35,697 --> 00:42:37,999 Hey, now, wait a minute. There's got to be some mistake. 673 00:42:38,033 --> 00:42:40,335 I thought you were talkin' about a week now. 674 00:42:40,368 --> 00:42:42,703 [ Clerk ] Ignorance of the law is no excuse. 675 00:42:42,787 --> 00:42:44,789 Well, wait a minute. You just said 37.50. 676 00:42:44,873 --> 00:42:47,458 You didn't say nothin' about no time or nothin'. 677 00:42:47,542 --> 00:42:50,962 What, do you have no brain ? Well, come on. We gotta work out somethin' here. 678 00:42:51,046 --> 00:42:53,631 How about I could trade you somethin'. You like turquoise ? 679 00:42:53,715 --> 00:42:56,134 I got this, uh, squashed blossom necklace from the Bisbee mine. 680 00:42:56,217 --> 00:42:58,135 That's gotta be worth somethin'. Bisbee mines ? 681 00:42:58,219 --> 00:43:01,438 Sir, could you tell me what room DeWayne Mendoza's in ? 682 00:43:01,523 --> 00:43:05,560 - Yeah, I could tell ya. - Cheech ! 683 00:43:05,610 --> 00:43:09,063 Hey, you old piece of horseshit. How ya doin' ? 684 00:43:09,114 --> 00:43:11,566 Goddamn it. It's good to see you. 685 00:43:11,616 --> 00:43:15,319 Oh, shit, I ain't seen you in so long ! How ya doin' ? Good, man. 686 00:43:15,403 --> 00:43:17,571 Goddamn, you got ugly. [ Laughing ] 687 00:43:17,622 --> 00:43:20,241 Hey, it's good to see you. How ya doin', boy ? 688 00:43:20,291 --> 00:43:22,242 I ain't Cheech, man. What ? 689 00:43:22,293 --> 00:43:24,378 No. I'm Cheech's friend, Chong. 690 00:43:24,412 --> 00:43:27,415 Hey, Ching, glad to meet ya. How ya doin' ? My name's Red. 691 00:43:27,465 --> 00:43:31,051 DeWayne Mendoza. Everybody calls me Red though. You can call me Red. 692 00:43:31,086 --> 00:43:34,589 Hey, did he give you the money ? No, he-- We're broke, man. 693 00:43:34,639 --> 00:43:38,059 He just told me to come down and meet ya. He didn't give ya no money ? 694 00:43:38,093 --> 00:43:40,095 N-No, we don't have no money. 695 00:43:40,178 --> 00:43:44,098 Oh, geez. Why ? What's the matter, man ? 696 00:43:44,149 --> 00:43:46,151 Well, I checked in to this hotel, right ? 697 00:43:46,234 --> 00:43:51,105 The guy says 37.50, you know, so I thought he meant 37.50 a week, not a goddamn day. 698 00:43:51,156 --> 00:43:53,274 Now old Dilbert Dumb Butt is holdin' my luggage, 699 00:43:53,358 --> 00:43:55,943 and he won't give it up until I pay the bill, and I ain't got the money. 700 00:43:56,027 --> 00:43:59,330 Hey, well, let me talk to him, man. Yeah ? 701 00:43:59,414 --> 00:44:02,950 Uh-- [ Clears Throat ] Excuse me, sir. What do ya want ? 702 00:44:03,001 --> 00:44:05,670 Uh, why don't you give him his luggage, man ? 703 00:44:05,754 --> 00:44:09,124 'Cause he owes $262.50, 704 00:44:09,207 --> 00:44:13,127 and in another five minutes, it'll be an additional 37.50. 705 00:44:13,178 --> 00:44:16,881 Yeah, well, you know, why don't you just give him his luggage ? 706 00:44:16,965 --> 00:44:20,468 Then we'll come back later and give you the bread. Why don't you forget life ? 707 00:44:20,552 --> 00:44:23,221 Hey, listen, you little creep. Give him his fuckin' luggage. Let go of me ! 708 00:44:23,304 --> 00:44:26,190 Why don't you let go ? I know you are, but what am I ? 709 00:44:26,274 --> 00:44:28,693 Listen, give him his luggage ! Let me go, or I'll call the cops. 710 00:44:28,777 --> 00:44:32,280 Does it make you feel like a big man to beat people up ? Give him his luggage, man. 711 00:44:32,313 --> 00:44:34,281 I'm gonna call the cops. Well, call the cops. 712 00:44:34,315 --> 00:44:37,818 Hey, Chang, come here. Hey, look, we don't wanna call the cops... 713 00:44:37,869 --> 00:44:39,820 'cause in my luggage I got some weed. Let me kill him, man. 714 00:44:39,871 --> 00:44:41,873 I got some weed in my luggage, you get it ? Some weed ? 715 00:44:41,956 --> 00:44:44,158 Yeah, see, I was gonna come down here with my cousin. 716 00:44:44,242 --> 00:44:48,162 Klaus. [ Giggling ] Eileen. 717 00:44:48,213 --> 00:44:50,748 Klaus. Klaus. Eileen. 718 00:44:50,832 --> 00:44:53,751 Klaus. Eileen, Eileen, Eileen. 719 00:44:53,835 --> 00:44:56,254 Knock, knock. Who's there ? 720 00:44:57,889 --> 00:45:01,759 It's Irma. Irma who ? 721 00:45:01,843 --> 00:45:05,563 [ Falsetto ] Irma la Seduce. Ah-ha. 722 00:45:05,647 --> 00:45:08,316 Is Mr. Who-ha home ? 723 00:45:08,349 --> 00:45:11,735 Just a minute. I'll see. [ Giggling ] 724 00:45:11,820 --> 00:45:15,023 Mm-hmm, but he's sleeping. 725 00:45:15,073 --> 00:45:18,025 Shall I get him up ? 726 00:45:18,076 --> 00:45:20,027 [ Chuckling ] 727 00:45:23,031 --> 00:45:25,917 Irma loves Klaus. Gimme Klaus. 728 00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:29,169 Hey, Ching. Huh ? 729 00:45:29,204 --> 00:45:33,174 Hey, how long you know my old cousin, man ? A couple of years, man. 730 00:45:33,208 --> 00:45:36,211 Yeah, I haven't seen that old boy in about ten years, man. 731 00:45:36,261 --> 00:45:38,546 The old shit for brains. [ Chuckling ] 732 00:45:38,596 --> 00:45:40,547 Hey, does he still dress funny ? 733 00:45:40,598 --> 00:45:42,716 He still wearin' them little hats ? 734 00:45:42,767 --> 00:45:45,636 Man, them low riders never give up, man. I swear to God. 735 00:45:45,720 --> 00:45:50,307 Is this it, man ? Yeah, that's it, man. My stuff's right inside. 736 00:45:50,391 --> 00:45:54,278 Oh, it's got bars on here, man. Oh, shit, well, how we gonna get in ? 737 00:45:54,362 --> 00:45:56,280 [ Grunting ] Oh. 738 00:45:56,364 --> 00:45:59,734 Oh, goddamn, King Kong. Get it. 739 00:45:59,784 --> 00:46:02,987 Man, this is supposed to keep people out, man. Look at this, man. 740 00:46:03,071 --> 00:46:06,657 I wanna see my cousin, man. I haven't seen him in about ten years, man. 741 00:46:06,741 --> 00:46:10,294 I just been back in the hills chokin' my chicken. [ Metal Bar Clanging ] 742 00:46:10,378 --> 00:46:13,414 All right, Del Rey, go to it. 743 00:46:13,464 --> 00:46:16,750 [ Woman Giggling ] 744 00:46:16,834 --> 00:46:19,970 Who is it ? 745 00:46:20,054 --> 00:46:23,590 [ Groaning ] Damn. 746 00:46:23,641 --> 00:46:25,592 Hey, Wild Bill, wait for me. 747 00:46:25,643 --> 00:46:27,978 Neighbors ? We'll keep it down. 748 00:46:28,062 --> 00:46:30,931 [ Screaming ] 749 00:46:31,015 --> 00:46:33,484 Oh, hey, how ya doin' ? [ Chuckling ] 750 00:46:33,568 --> 00:46:36,153 What ? Who, who, who ? Hippies ! 751 00:46:36,237 --> 00:46:40,491 They're hippies ? Hey, we're just lookin' for some luggage. Relax. 752 00:46:40,575 --> 00:46:42,493 Do these rooms connect ? Who is-- 753 00:46:42,577 --> 00:46:44,779 [ Screaming ] Do something. 754 00:46:44,829 --> 00:46:48,032 - Who are you ? - Don't you lay a hand on me. 755 00:46:48,116 --> 00:46:52,286 Oh, Eileen, don't now. Don't, don't-- You'll never get me. 756 00:46:52,337 --> 00:46:54,922 Don't, don't, don't. They're big men. There was a bag, 757 00:46:54,956 --> 00:46:58,042 and a duffle bag and a tape recorder. 758 00:46:58,126 --> 00:47:01,846 What do you want ? Did you see a tape recorder ? 759 00:47:01,930 --> 00:47:06,467 You'd love to get me ! You touch me, and you're dead ! Shh, don't aggravate them. 760 00:47:06,517 --> 00:47:09,937 We didn't-- I know a lot of cops. 761 00:47:09,971 --> 00:47:13,891 Do you mind telling me what you do with this ? Don't touch me. 762 00:47:13,975 --> 00:47:15,860 What else is there ? You'd like to touch me. 763 00:47:15,944 --> 00:47:19,697 You're upset. Boing ! 764 00:47:19,781 --> 00:47:22,316 Offenders ! This is not mine. 765 00:47:22,367 --> 00:47:24,869 The police. This is-- The police. 766 00:47:24,953 --> 00:47:27,989 The police. I'll kill you before I'll let you lay a finger on me. 767 00:47:28,039 --> 00:47:33,327 Get away from me now. [ Red ] We have the wrong room. Can you believe that ? 768 00:47:33,378 --> 00:47:36,998 I'm talking to the cops right now, thank you very much, ma'am. 769 00:47:38,883 --> 00:47:42,253 Yes. This is the real thing this time. 770 00:47:42,337 --> 00:47:46,257 Come on, please. There's two crazies in here tearing up the place. 771 00:47:46,341 --> 00:47:51,229 I already told you where we're located. [ Grunting ] 772 00:47:51,312 --> 00:47:53,514 Well, what are they doing, walking over here ? 773 00:47:53,598 --> 00:47:57,018 Look, I think they're Iranians. 774 00:47:57,101 --> 00:47:59,236 Okay, thank you very much. 775 00:48:06,444 --> 00:48:08,362 [ Sirens Continue ] 776 00:48:15,670 --> 00:48:18,873 Okay, here comes the radio. Be careful with it. [ Grunting ] 777 00:48:18,956 --> 00:48:21,541 There you go. All right. 778 00:48:21,626 --> 00:48:23,711 There goes the weed. Weed ? 779 00:48:23,761 --> 00:48:26,213 You gotta be real careful. Here's the suitcase. Here. 780 00:48:26,297 --> 00:48:28,215 Hey, man, I said be careful with that. Weed ? 781 00:48:28,299 --> 00:48:32,052 Man, if you break it, that's worth a lotta money. Shit. 782 00:48:32,136 --> 00:48:34,721 Holy Jesus ! 783 00:48:34,806 --> 00:48:37,608 I brought down one bush, man. That's just the top. 784 00:48:37,692 --> 00:48:41,278 Buds, man ! Yeah, I didn't know how much to bring down. 785 00:48:41,362 --> 00:48:45,065 They smell good, don't they ? Holy Christ ! How much you got in here ? 786 00:48:45,149 --> 00:48:47,401 That's just one bush. That's just the top. 787 00:48:47,452 --> 00:48:49,403 I just brought enough to party with. 788 00:48:49,454 --> 00:48:51,989 I got a whole field of 'em. Fields everywhere. 789 00:48:52,073 --> 00:48:55,242 They just grow wild everywhere, man. Oh, wow. 790 00:48:55,293 --> 00:48:58,629 That's all I smoke, man. I throw the rest of it to my hogs, man. 791 00:48:58,713 --> 00:49:03,968 Buds, man, look at this. Yeah, I thought we'd party with some, maybe smoke some. 792 00:49:04,052 --> 00:49:05,970 You think we can sell some of that shit ? 793 00:49:06,054 --> 00:49:08,056 Oh, man, you know how much this stuff's worth ? 794 00:49:08,089 --> 00:49:11,392 Oh, I don't know. I've been outta circulation a little bit. Hundred bucks ? 795 00:49:11,426 --> 00:49:15,763 [ Chuckling ] Twenty-five hundred bucks a pound, man. 796 00:49:15,813 --> 00:49:18,315 Are you shittin' me ? Jesus ! 797 00:49:18,399 --> 00:49:22,770 Twenty-five hundred bucks a pound ? You got about 20 pounds. 798 00:49:22,854 --> 00:49:25,740 Holy shit. We're rich. We're rich, man ! 799 00:49:25,773 --> 00:49:29,743 Goddamn. Well, come on, tycoon. Let's go party. Right. 800 00:49:29,777 --> 00:49:32,946 Do you like the way them sticks are tied up ? Buds, man. 801 00:49:33,030 --> 00:49:36,366 Yeah, we had a bunch of boat people moved into the neighborhood. 802 00:49:36,451 --> 00:49:39,954 I couldn't believe it. I put 'em to work. They work like hell. 803 00:49:40,037 --> 00:49:42,639 They don't smoke half the shit like Mexicans do. 804 00:49:42,673 --> 00:49:44,641 [ ns Wailing ] Hey, just feed 'em a bowl of rice a day, 805 00:49:44,675 --> 00:49:48,679 or the Cocoa Puffs or Rice Krispies or whatever, they're happy as hell. 806 00:49:48,729 --> 00:49:50,680 Oh, shit, listen to that. [ Sirens Continue ] 807 00:49:50,765 --> 00:49:53,267 It's the cops. Oh, God, I'm gonna get this on tape here. 808 00:49:53,351 --> 00:49:55,269 Here, hold this. I wanna get this on tape. 809 00:49:55,353 --> 00:49:57,521 I use this to scare away the deer in the field. 810 00:49:57,605 --> 00:50:00,190 I play it, but I-- Come on. I want it. Come on. 811 00:50:00,274 --> 00:50:02,526 I wanna get this recorded. This is gonna be great. 812 00:50:02,577 --> 00:50:04,495 I'll turn it up real loud, so-- 813 00:50:04,529 --> 00:50:08,232 Come on. This is gonna be great. [ Laughing ] 814 00:50:09,300 --> 00:50:12,469 [ People Chattering ] 815 00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:16,607 [ Helicopter Blades Whirring ] 816 00:50:16,641 --> 00:50:19,477 [ Siren Wailing ] 817 00:50:25,149 --> 00:50:29,486 All right, move these people back. Move 'em back. Get back. 818 00:50:29,537 --> 00:50:31,822 You in there, you are under arrest. 819 00:50:31,906 --> 00:50:34,875 Come out now and you won't get hurt. 820 00:50:34,959 --> 00:50:38,128 I said come out, or we're coming in to get you. Get down. Get down. 821 00:50:38,162 --> 00:50:41,048 We have the place surrounded. You have two minutes. 822 00:50:41,132 --> 00:50:43,834 Come out now and-- 823 00:50:43,885 --> 00:50:47,638 Get these people away from me ! Get these people back now ! 824 00:50:47,672 --> 00:50:50,591 That's the guys right there ! Come out with your hands up. 825 00:50:50,675 --> 00:50:53,511 Somebody take care of this man. Let go, you fuckin' asshole ! 826 00:50:53,594 --> 00:50:57,431 [ All Yelling At Once ] I'm the guy who called ! 827 00:50:57,515 --> 00:51:00,651 Why don't you just kill me ? Let me go ! 828 00:51:00,685 --> 00:51:05,656 You fucking assholes ! Get off me ! Let me go ! You fuckin' morons ! 829 00:51:05,690 --> 00:51:09,944 Let me go, man ! Attica ! Attica ! Attica ! 830 00:51:10,027 --> 00:51:12,162 Let me go ! I'm fragile ! 831 00:51:12,196 --> 00:51:15,866 Move along. Come out now, and you won't get hurt. [ Laughing ] 832 00:51:15,950 --> 00:51:18,585 You are under arrest. We have the place surrounded. 833 00:51:18,669 --> 00:51:22,706 Ow ! Ow ! Okay, okay, I'm in ! [ Man On Bullhorn ] Come out or-- 834 00:51:22,757 --> 00:51:26,710 Goddamn, Chang. Hey, this is excitin', man. [ Laughs ] 835 00:51:26,794 --> 00:51:30,881 I'm glad I met you, Chang. Oh, man, I'm glad I met you, man. 836 00:51:30,932 --> 00:51:34,719 This town has been so dry, man. You wouldn't believe it. 837 00:51:34,769 --> 00:51:38,105 Hey, where'd you get a name like Ching ? You don't look like a Ching. 838 00:51:38,189 --> 00:51:40,140 My dad's Chinese, man. What's your mama ? 839 00:51:40,224 --> 00:51:42,059 She's a waitress. Oh. 840 00:51:42,109 --> 00:51:45,395 [ Cheech ] I thought you got named like they named Chinese babies. 841 00:51:45,479 --> 00:51:48,148 They take silverware and throw it in the air and it comes down and goes, 842 00:51:48,232 --> 00:51:50,734 ching-chang-chong, bing-bang-bong. 843 00:51:50,818 --> 00:51:53,036 You get it ? 844 00:51:53,070 --> 00:51:55,906 Damn, I can't stand long pants, man. 845 00:51:55,957 --> 00:51:58,326 Whoo ! Don't cut yourself. [ Together ] Whoo ! 846 00:51:58,409 --> 00:52:00,544 You guys wanna go to a party ? Yeah. 847 00:52:00,578 --> 00:52:02,713 Hell yeah ! Here it is. 848 00:52:02,747 --> 00:52:07,418 All right ! Hey, listen, you guys have any, uh, blow ? 849 00:52:07,501 --> 00:52:10,253 What ? You know. [ Sniffing ] 850 00:52:10,304 --> 00:52:12,306 No. Oh, here. Use my sleeve. 851 00:52:12,390 --> 00:52:14,759 [ Laughing ] Forget it ! 852 00:52:14,809 --> 00:52:17,511 Hey, uh-- Whoo ! What's this here ? 853 00:52:17,595 --> 00:52:21,265 It says, "Good for massage or enema." I'll take the massage. 854 00:52:21,349 --> 00:52:25,436 Come on. Let's go, man. This sounds like good fun. Holy sheep shit. 855 00:52:36,247 --> 00:52:38,582 Okay, gentlemen, would you come with me, please. 856 00:52:38,616 --> 00:52:41,168 Hey, we'll come any way you want. [ Chuckles ] 857 00:52:41,252 --> 00:52:43,454 With you or with them or with anybody. 858 00:52:43,504 --> 00:52:47,257 Put us in the same room 'cause we wanna party, okay ? [ Laughing ] 859 00:52:47,291 --> 00:52:49,793 Hold it, boys. Have a seat and I'll be right back. 860 00:52:49,844 --> 00:52:53,714 Oh. Okay. Well, hurry up or we'll start without you. 861 00:52:53,798 --> 00:52:57,468 Ooh, you see the way them legs both make an ass of themselves. 862 00:52:57,518 --> 00:53:01,021 [ Laughing ] Hey, let's party ! Come on. 863 00:53:01,105 --> 00:53:04,691 Wanna choose up sides and smell armpits ? I got you. 864 00:53:04,775 --> 00:53:07,394 Damn, this is great, man. 865 00:53:07,478 --> 00:53:11,732 Damn, you look funny. [ Laughing ] 866 00:53:11,816 --> 00:53:14,151 Hey, the water's gettin' warmer. 867 00:53:14,201 --> 00:53:17,153 Yeah, and yellower too. 868 00:53:18,456 --> 00:53:22,159 Ahh. Ah, man. Do you get it ? 869 00:53:22,209 --> 00:53:24,961 Ah, I'm gettin' outta here. Hey, can we have some towels ? 870 00:53:24,996 --> 00:53:27,248 Damn, you're nasty. 871 00:53:27,331 --> 00:53:30,834 Now you just let me know if there's anything else I can get for you. 872 00:53:30,918 --> 00:53:32,836 Oh, anything ? Yes. 873 00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:34,838 Oh, how about joining us ? [ Screaming ] 874 00:53:34,922 --> 00:53:38,342 [ Laughing ] Hey, we live by the lake. Drop in any time. 875 00:53:38,426 --> 00:53:42,596 Hey, you wanna party ? Come on. Hey, let's party. [ Laughing ] 876 00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:45,766 [ Muttering ] How you guys doin' ? 877 00:53:45,850 --> 00:53:49,320 I think your leg's a little obscure there. 878 00:53:49,353 --> 00:53:51,438 That ain't my leg. [ Laughing ] 879 00:53:51,522 --> 00:53:55,275 Hey ! Hey, you wanna party ? Hey ! 880 00:53:55,359 --> 00:53:57,944 [ Coughing ] Don't drink the water, whatever you do. 881 00:54:03,284 --> 00:54:05,202 Where'd ya go ? [ Chuckling ] 882 00:54:05,286 --> 00:54:07,538 Hey, where'd ya go ? 883 00:54:09,757 --> 00:54:12,209 Hey ! 884 00:54:12,293 --> 00:54:14,678 Holy sheep shit ! 885 00:54:14,712 --> 00:54:17,381 [ Laughs ] Goddamn ! 886 00:54:18,599 --> 00:54:22,719 How-- How ya do that ? 887 00:54:22,803 --> 00:54:24,721 Goddamn ! 888 00:54:27,475 --> 00:54:30,227 Goddamn ! Hey, Chong ! 889 00:54:30,311 --> 00:54:33,397 Hey, hey, Chong ! Goddamn ! Come here and look at this here ! 890 00:54:33,481 --> 00:54:35,399 Hey, Chong ! 891 00:54:35,483 --> 00:54:37,401 [ Clucking ] [ Woman ] Charlie. 892 00:54:37,485 --> 00:54:39,620 [ Charlie ] What ? Time up. 893 00:54:39,704 --> 00:54:42,490 I haven't crowed yet. Ohh, crow. 894 00:54:42,573 --> 00:54:44,491 [ Crowing ] 895 00:54:44,575 --> 00:54:47,044 [ Both Laughing ] 896 00:54:47,078 --> 00:54:50,631 Charlie, untie me ! Untie me, Charlie ! 897 00:54:50,715 --> 00:54:53,417 Charlie. Hey. Hey, that was neat, man ! 898 00:54:53,467 --> 00:54:57,003 [ Groans ] [ Clucking ] 899 00:54:57,088 --> 00:54:59,090 Charlie, goddamn it. 900 00:54:59,173 --> 00:55:03,477 Never mind. You're gettin' out. Now get your clothes and get the hell outta here ! 901 00:55:03,561 --> 00:55:06,564 Oh, hiya, Charlie. How ya doin' ? Nice to see ya. Tony. 902 00:55:06,597 --> 00:55:08,932 Hi. How are you ? Hi. You got a nice smile on your face. 903 00:55:09,016 --> 00:55:11,935 Candy been takin' good care of ya ? 904 00:55:13,904 --> 00:55:16,773 Yes. Uh, in fact, she's one of your best girls. 905 00:55:16,857 --> 00:55:19,993 You're telling me ? You know, she's an actress. Really ? 906 00:55:20,077 --> 00:55:22,446 Oh, indeed ! She's got her own answering service. 907 00:55:22,530 --> 00:55:27,418 She's got an eight-by-ten glossy of herself. She came in second on a mouthwash commercial. 908 00:55:29,203 --> 00:55:31,288 That was fun, man. 909 00:55:31,372 --> 00:55:34,291 [ Women Moaning Passionately ] Hey, listen. 910 00:55:34,375 --> 00:55:36,293 Hey, listen. 911 00:55:38,679 --> 00:55:41,631 What, are they fightin' ? No, no, they're gettin' it on. 912 00:55:41,715 --> 00:55:45,468 I wanna record this. This'll scare the hell outta the deer, man. 913 00:55:45,519 --> 00:55:49,573 And... record. [ Cassette Player: Siren Wailing ] 914 00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:52,976 [ Man's Voice On Tape ] You in there, you are under arrest ! 915 00:55:53,027 --> 00:55:55,646 Come out now, and you won't get hurt. [ Siren Continues ] 916 00:55:55,729 --> 00:55:58,882 I said come out, or we're coming in to get you. 917 00:55:58,949 --> 00:56:02,319 - We have the place surrounded. - Come on, Senator, let's get outta here ! 918 00:56:02,403 --> 00:56:05,038 - [ Man Shouting ] It's a raid ! - Come out now. 919 00:56:05,122 --> 00:56:08,959 Get those people away from me ! Get these people back now ! 920 00:56:08,993 --> 00:56:12,463 Come out now, and you won't get hurt. [ Screaming ] 921 00:56:12,496 --> 00:56:16,666 [ Sirens Continue ] Oh, my God ! [ Screaming ] 922 00:56:18,219 --> 00:56:20,337 [ Shouting ] 923 00:56:24,842 --> 00:56:27,511 Hey, it's a raid ! [ Laughing ] 924 00:56:27,595 --> 00:56:29,513 Look out ! Run ! 925 00:56:29,597 --> 00:56:34,018 All right ! I'm comin' to get ya ! 926 00:56:34,068 --> 00:56:36,820 Hey, it's a hop frog. Let me do it ! Let me do it ! 927 00:56:36,854 --> 00:56:40,190 Hey, what's the matter, little lady ? You're all hung up. 928 00:56:40,241 --> 00:56:42,943 [ Tape Stops ] Hey there, I'll cut you loose. Let go there. 929 00:56:43,027 --> 00:56:45,579 Oh, there you go ! You're free ! You have a new record. 930 00:56:45,663 --> 00:56:48,198 [ Laughing ] 931 00:56:48,282 --> 00:56:52,035 I didn't know massage parlors were like that, man. ♪ [ Tape: Blues ] 932 00:56:52,086 --> 00:56:54,288 That was-- Goddamn, that was fun ! 933 00:56:54,371 --> 00:56:58,425 Why don't you wait for me ? Where are ya going ? Can I go with you ? 934 00:56:58,509 --> 00:57:01,545 Oh, hell yeah ! You can go with us, man. 935 00:57:01,595 --> 00:57:05,215 Oh, that was fun. [ Whining ] He wouldn't untie me. 936 00:57:05,266 --> 00:57:07,217 No. [ Laughs ] No. 937 00:57:07,268 --> 00:57:10,554 Hey, we never did get a massage, did we ? 938 00:57:10,604 --> 00:57:13,607 Hey, I'm hungry. Are you hungry ? Yeah. Let's go eat. 939 00:57:13,691 --> 00:57:17,277 All right, let's eat. Hey, get over there ! It's a raid ! 940 00:57:20,948 --> 00:57:24,618 ♪ Sittin' in a la-la Waitin' for my ya-ya ♪ 941 00:57:24,702 --> 00:57:27,237 ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 942 00:57:27,288 --> 00:57:29,957 ♪ Sittin' in a la-la Waitin' for my ya-ya ♪ 943 00:57:30,040 --> 00:57:32,992 ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 944 00:57:33,077 --> 00:57:36,046 ♪ It may sound funny but I don't believe she's comin' ♪ 945 00:57:36,080 --> 00:57:39,299 ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 946 00:57:39,383 --> 00:57:42,052 Hey, baby. Come on, bitch. 947 00:57:42,086 --> 00:57:45,639 Shit ! I got a lot of shit to do. 948 00:57:55,816 --> 00:57:57,767 Shit. 949 00:58:01,438 --> 00:58:04,607 Shit, if that bitch don't get here pretty soon, 950 00:58:04,692 --> 00:58:07,194 I'll have to wait some more. 951 00:58:09,113 --> 00:58:13,283 ♪ Hey, baby blue You don't make me woo Uh-huh ♪ 952 00:58:13,367 --> 00:58:15,285 [ Man ] Yes, can I help you ? 953 00:58:15,369 --> 00:58:18,121 [ Woman ] Yes, I'd like to buy a classical guitar, please. 954 00:58:18,205 --> 00:58:20,924 You're looking at one. Real antique, this one. 955 00:58:20,958 --> 00:58:23,961 That sounds really nice. How much is it ? 956 00:58:24,044 --> 00:58:26,513 It's not for sale. That's our prized possession. 957 00:58:26,597 --> 00:58:30,517 ...that's when I said, "Whenever you're in town, I'll keep an eye out for ya." 958 00:58:30,601 --> 00:58:33,470 [ Laughing ] You get it ? Huh ? 959 00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:37,891 She only had one eye, so I said, "I'll keep an eye out for ya." 960 00:58:37,975 --> 00:58:43,146 Oh, wow. Oh, you'll get it later. 961 00:58:43,197 --> 00:58:45,983 Oh, holy sheep shit ! 962 00:58:46,066 --> 00:58:48,785 Goddamn, it's guitar heaven ! 963 00:58:48,819 --> 00:58:52,489 I died and went to guitar heaven. Goddamn, look at all-- 964 00:58:52,573 --> 00:58:56,043 [ Amplifier Blaring, Distorted ] 965 00:58:56,126 --> 00:58:58,545 All right, man ! What the hell do ya think you're doin' ? Huh ? 966 00:59:00,247 --> 00:59:02,749 ♪ Treat me like a fool ♪ 967 00:59:02,833 --> 00:59:05,669 ♪ Treat me mean and cruel ♪ 968 00:59:05,719 --> 00:59:08,471 ♪ Whoa-ho, love me ♪ 969 00:59:08,505 --> 00:59:11,424 I'm just tryin' it out, man. Aah ! Ah ! 970 00:59:11,508 --> 00:59:15,261 Hey, hey, that's enough of that. What the hell, are you in the Rolling Stones ? 971 00:59:15,346 --> 00:59:17,765 What's the matter with you ? Got a wild hair up your ass ? 972 00:59:17,848 --> 00:59:20,317 [ Cymbals Crashing ] 973 00:59:20,351 --> 00:59:23,737 No, not here ! Go, go, go, go. [ Chuckles ] 974 00:59:23,821 --> 00:59:26,990 That guy got flustered, huh ? Hey, cutie pie, how you doin' ? 975 00:59:27,024 --> 00:59:30,110 [ Guitar Feeding Back Loudly ] Far out ! 976 00:59:30,194 --> 00:59:33,113 [ Distortion Continues ] 977 00:59:43,924 --> 00:59:46,509 Holy sheep shit ! Whoo ! 978 00:59:46,543 --> 00:59:49,379 Goddamn, that was fun ! 979 00:59:49,430 --> 00:59:53,434 Hey, I'm hungry. You hungry ? Goddamn cheap amplifiers. 980 00:59:53,517 --> 00:59:58,021 Hey, come on. Let's get somethin' to eat. Goddamn, man, did you see-- 981 00:59:58,055 --> 01:00:01,892 ♪ [ "Dixie" ] Whoo ! 982 01:00:05,195 --> 01:00:07,397 [ Laughing ] 983 01:00:07,448 --> 01:00:09,566 Whoa, look at that car ! [ Shouting ] 984 01:00:09,616 --> 01:00:12,485 I'm callin' the cops ! You ruined my store ! 985 01:00:12,569 --> 01:00:15,238 [ Both Shouting ] 986 01:00:15,289 --> 01:00:18,375 [ Shouting ] Here, there ya go. 987 01:00:18,409 --> 01:00:20,461 Wait a minute. Wait ! Give us a ride, okay ? 988 01:00:20,544 --> 01:00:22,879 We're gonna go get something to eat. What are you doing ? 989 01:00:22,913 --> 01:00:27,133 We're just gonna get something. to eat. Let's go. Come on. She's gonna give us a ride. 990 01:00:27,217 --> 01:00:30,053 Hey, thanks a lot. We really appreciate it. Look, I have to go. 991 01:00:30,087 --> 01:00:32,589 Hop on that gas. Look, if you don't get outta here-- 992 01:00:32,639 --> 01:00:34,590 Hold on. Okay-- 993 01:00:34,641 --> 01:00:38,094 [ Siren Wailing ] 994 01:00:38,145 --> 01:00:41,097 ♪ [ Continues ] 995 01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:45,351 All right, wait a minute. 996 01:00:45,436 --> 01:00:48,105 [ Candy Screaming ] 997 01:00:48,188 --> 01:00:50,823 [ Cheech Chattering ] 998 01:00:50,908 --> 01:00:53,944 Gonna raise the bar bill till midnight ! 999 01:00:53,994 --> 01:00:56,613 ♪ [ Radio: Rock ] 1000 01:00:56,663 --> 01:00:59,532 Holy sheep shit ! 1001 01:00:59,616 --> 01:01:03,753 [ Chong ] Hoorah ! We're here ! [ Candy Whooping ] 1002 01:01:03,787 --> 01:01:06,089 [ Cheech ] We're home ! 1003 01:01:06,123 --> 01:01:08,291 [ Radio Stops ] [ Cheech Chattering ] 1004 01:01:08,342 --> 01:01:11,128 [ Laughing ] 1005 01:01:13,797 --> 01:01:15,765 Come on. Whoo ! 1006 01:01:18,435 --> 01:01:22,639 Hey, there's enough room for the Russian Army in this goddamn place. 1007 01:01:22,723 --> 01:01:25,308 Whoo ! Hey. [ Laughing ] 1008 01:01:25,359 --> 01:01:27,060 Goddamn. You live here, huh ? 1009 01:01:27,144 --> 01:01:30,147 Hey, open up ! We've come for your daughters ! [ Candy ] Hello ! 1010 01:01:30,230 --> 01:01:32,482 Hey ! Hey ! Hello ! Hello ! 1011 01:01:32,533 --> 01:01:36,486 [ Bell Ringing Continuously ] [ Loud Knocking ] 1012 01:01:42,826 --> 01:01:46,329 Hey. Hey ! [ Laughs ] How ya doin' ? [ Gasps ] 1013 01:01:46,380 --> 01:01:48,882 No, you have to leave right now ! Holy sheep shit ! 1014 01:01:48,966 --> 01:01:51,335 Look at the size of this goddamn place ! Go away ! 1015 01:01:51,418 --> 01:01:53,803 [ Screaming ] Missy, who are all these people ? 1016 01:01:53,837 --> 01:01:56,256 I don't know. You don't know ? 1017 01:01:56,340 --> 01:01:58,675 We can only stay a month. [ Laughs ] 1018 01:01:58,725 --> 01:02:03,012 Hey, hurry back ! Come on. Let's have some fun. Goddamn, look at this place. 1019 01:02:03,063 --> 01:02:05,932 Whoa. Boy, we're shittin' in top cotton now. 1020 01:02:06,016 --> 01:02:09,152 Goddamn ! Well, what cute outfits you have. 1021 01:02:09,186 --> 01:02:11,855 Now let me guess which ones you are. Now, let's see. 1022 01:02:11,905 --> 01:02:14,824 You're the cowardly lion, right ? Yeah ! 1023 01:02:14,858 --> 01:02:19,529 But you have a heart. And let's see. You're Glenda, the good witch of the north. 1024 01:02:19,580 --> 01:02:22,749 That's her. But you forgot your skirt. 1025 01:02:22,833 --> 01:02:25,418 And let's see. Oh, uh-- Dum-du-dum. 1026 01:02:25,502 --> 01:02:29,038 Well, you're Toto, right ? Yeah, he's Toto. 1027 01:02:29,122 --> 01:02:33,593 I know I have some treats somewhere in the house for you, but you have to do a trick. 1028 01:02:33,677 --> 01:02:37,881 All right. Estrellita, muy grande la pinata, por favor. 1029 01:02:37,965 --> 01:02:41,268 Goddamn, look at this place. Holy sheep shit ! 1030 01:02:41,351 --> 01:02:43,269 Goddamn. 1031 01:02:43,353 --> 01:02:47,640 Oh, God, look at that frog spear here. Goddamn. 1032 01:02:48,892 --> 01:02:52,111 [ Screaming ] [ Screams ] 1033 01:02:53,564 --> 01:02:56,733 [ Laughing ] 1034 01:02:56,783 --> 01:02:58,818 There's the cat. [ Shouting ] 1035 01:02:58,902 --> 01:03:00,820 [ Cat Snarling ] 1036 01:03:00,904 --> 01:03:03,539 [ Shouting Continues ] [ Banging ] 1037 01:03:03,574 --> 01:03:05,542 [ Snarling Continues ] 1038 01:03:05,576 --> 01:03:09,580 Ooo-ooo, I got something for you. Do you want Ho-Hums or Dodos ? 1039 01:03:09,663 --> 01:03:12,882 [ Cat Yelping ] How energetic. That cat never jumped that high before. 1040 01:03:12,916 --> 01:03:15,802 - Uh-huh. Uh-huh. - [ Cat Snarling ] 1041 01:03:21,391 --> 01:03:23,342 [ Dog Barking ] 1042 01:03:23,427 --> 01:03:26,680 Yes, right through here. There's plenty of room for everybody. 1043 01:03:26,763 --> 01:03:30,650 Maybe if you, uh, sit, uh-- Hey, get in there, little filly. 1044 01:03:30,734 --> 01:03:33,937 Well, that's usually Daddy's-- Hey, come on ! Let's eat ! 1045 01:03:34,021 --> 01:03:36,823 Chasin' "pussy" makes me hungry. [ Laughing ] 1046 01:03:36,907 --> 01:03:38,608 Oh. Well, yes. 1047 01:03:38,659 --> 01:03:43,030 Estrellita, uh, tres mucho platos por la dinner. 1048 01:03:43,113 --> 01:03:45,048 Eeew, God. Get outta here. 1049 01:03:48,201 --> 01:03:51,120 [ Cheech Chattering ] 1050 01:03:52,789 --> 01:03:55,424 [ Candy Screaming ] [ Cheech Growling ] 1051 01:04:03,467 --> 01:04:07,888 So, when my baby was seven years old she started her riding lessons. 1052 01:04:07,971 --> 01:04:10,640 They were so-- Oh, Charles, surprise. 1053 01:04:10,724 --> 01:04:14,561 -[ Gasps ] -It's our 25th wedding anniversary and we have guests. 1054 01:04:14,645 --> 01:04:16,730 Charlie ! 1055 01:04:18,482 --> 01:04:20,817 [ High-Pitched Screaming, Giggling ] 1056 01:04:20,901 --> 01:04:24,821 [ Cheech ] Hey, it's Chicken Charlie ! [ Chuckling ] 1057 01:04:24,905 --> 01:04:26,823 [ Belches ] [ Missy ] ♪ I'm goin' up ♪ 1058 01:04:26,907 --> 01:04:29,993 ♪ [ Acoustic Guitar ] ♪ I'm goin' down ♪ 1059 01:04:30,077 --> 01:04:33,830 ♪ I'm goin' up, down down, up ♪ 1060 01:04:33,880 --> 01:04:37,967 ♪ Any way you want me Let's go ♪ 1061 01:04:39,670 --> 01:04:42,472 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 1062 01:04:42,506 --> 01:04:46,259 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1063 01:04:47,594 --> 01:04:51,347 ♪ You got me doin' what you want me ♪ 1064 01:04:51,398 --> 01:04:56,319 ♪ Baby, what you want me to do ♪ 1065 01:04:59,106 --> 01:05:02,409 ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ [ Guitar Building To End ] 1066 01:05:02,492 --> 01:05:04,410 Oh, beautiful. 1067 01:05:04,494 --> 01:05:07,246 Now sing "This Land Was Your Land." Okay. 1068 01:05:07,331 --> 01:05:09,199 [ Both Shouting ] No ! No ! 1069 01:05:09,249 --> 01:05:11,334 Let's do somethin' different. 1070 01:05:11,368 --> 01:05:14,337 Uh, how about let's do a magic trick. Wanna see a magic trick ? 1071 01:05:14,371 --> 01:05:17,040 Yes. Oh, all right. I'll do a magic trick. 1072 01:05:17,090 --> 01:05:20,126 Let's see. What can we do ? Oh, I know. 1073 01:05:20,210 --> 01:05:23,096 All right, I need somebody to help me. Who wants to help me ? Me, me, me. 1074 01:05:23,180 --> 01:05:24,681 Who ? Who ? Me ! 1075 01:05:24,715 --> 01:05:26,550 Oh, how 'bout you ? Oh, okay. 1076 01:05:26,633 --> 01:05:28,384 All right, what's this ? A napkin. 1077 01:05:28,468 --> 01:05:31,270 All right, what's that ? Oh, the other side of the napkin. 1078 01:05:31,355 --> 01:05:34,358 Very good. Oh, you've been to school, huh ? Yeah. 1079 01:05:34,391 --> 01:05:37,026 Now I'm gonna take this napkin here and take this roll... 1080 01:05:37,060 --> 01:05:39,228 and put it in the middle of the napkin. 1081 01:05:39,279 --> 01:05:40,863 Uh-huh. What's that ? 1082 01:05:40,897 --> 01:05:42,782 Roll. Okay, what's that ? 1083 01:05:42,866 --> 01:05:45,151 Napkin. Very good. 1084 01:05:45,235 --> 01:05:47,153 You're still with me. Yeah. 1085 01:05:47,237 --> 01:05:51,157 Now the trick part of this magic trick is I'm gonna turn this here roll... 1086 01:05:51,241 --> 01:05:53,176 into a piece of fruit. 1087 01:05:53,243 --> 01:05:55,161 [ Gasps ] No. 1088 01:05:55,245 --> 01:05:57,880 Yeah, right before your very eyes. 1089 01:05:57,914 --> 01:06:00,499 This is exciting ! Okay, but I need your help. 1090 01:06:00,584 --> 01:06:04,087 Okay. I need you to hold the end of that roll right there. 1091 01:06:04,137 --> 01:06:06,088 That's a roll, right ? Yeah. 1092 01:06:06,139 --> 01:06:08,508 Hold it good and tight. Don't let it go. No. 1093 01:06:08,592 --> 01:06:12,596 Now, we're gonna turn it and roll it and roll it and mark it with a "B"... 1094 01:06:12,679 --> 01:06:15,982 and say the magic words: Abracadabra, hocus-pocus. 1095 01:06:16,066 --> 01:06:18,601 Hope it don't poke us in the eye. [ Laughs ] 1096 01:06:18,652 --> 01:06:21,521 And rub it like that there. What did I say I was gonna do ? 1097 01:06:21,605 --> 01:06:24,941 Turn it into a piece of fruit. Okay, well, you tell me. 1098 01:06:24,991 --> 01:06:27,943 Ain't that a peach ? [ Laughing ] 1099 01:06:28,028 --> 01:06:30,613 [ Chuckling ] 1100 01:06:30,664 --> 01:06:33,166 Do ya get it ? I don't get it. 1101 01:06:33,250 --> 01:06:37,420 Ain't that a peach ? See, that's a peach. See ? Do ya get it ? 1102 01:06:37,454 --> 01:06:39,672 I don't get it. 1103 01:06:39,756 --> 01:06:42,458 A peach, man ! A peach ! Do ya get it ? 1104 01:06:42,509 --> 01:06:45,595 [ All Laughing ] 1105 01:06:45,629 --> 01:06:49,015 It's a peach ! It's a peach. You don't get-- 1106 01:06:49,099 --> 01:06:51,801 ♪ You got me running ♪ 1107 01:06:51,852 --> 01:06:54,304 ♪ You got me hiding ♪ 1108 01:06:54,387 --> 01:06:57,807 ♪ You got me wrong, right all right ♪ 1109 01:06:57,858 --> 01:07:00,894 ♪ Any way you want me It's a peach ♪ 1110 01:07:00,977 --> 01:07:03,779 [ Laughing ] 1111 01:07:06,483 --> 01:07:09,786 All right, Grandma, you're too much. That smell is so good. 1112 01:07:09,820 --> 01:07:12,906 It's like a sachet or a potpourri, isn't it ? 1113 01:07:12,989 --> 01:07:15,124 [ Cheech ] Oh, it's homegrown. 1114 01:07:15,158 --> 01:07:18,794 Here, have some. Oh, I garden myself, you know. 1115 01:07:18,829 --> 01:07:20,997 All right. Well, that's great stuff. 1116 01:07:21,047 --> 01:07:24,133 That's "senseamia," needless to say. 1117 01:07:28,138 --> 01:07:32,809 Hey, can you read between the lines ? How about shorthand ? 1118 01:07:32,843 --> 01:07:35,512 Watch the road ! Watch the road. Okay. 1119 01:07:35,562 --> 01:07:40,266 What's green and red and goes 105 miles an hour ? 1120 01:07:40,350 --> 01:07:43,486 I don't know. A frog in a blender. 1121 01:07:43,520 --> 01:07:45,822 [ Both Laughing ] 1122 01:07:45,856 --> 01:07:49,693 Ohh, my. I'm going to adopt you, okay ? 1123 01:07:54,531 --> 01:07:57,250 Hey, don't bogart it now, Grandma. 1124 01:07:57,334 --> 01:07:59,536 You can live in the room under the stairs. 1125 01:08:01,705 --> 01:08:04,040 Like a troll. 1126 01:08:07,210 --> 01:08:09,462 That could be a "troll bridge." 1127 01:08:11,882 --> 01:08:14,384 Hey, gimme another hit, Del Rey ! 1128 01:08:14,467 --> 01:08:17,436 Ooh. Ohh. [ Sighs ] 1129 01:08:17,521 --> 01:08:19,523 Watch the road. Okay. 1130 01:08:19,556 --> 01:08:22,025 Where's it gonna go ? 1131 01:08:24,644 --> 01:08:26,862 We're not moving. That's right. 1132 01:08:26,897 --> 01:08:30,901 Oh, look at that traffic light. Isn't that pretty ? 1133 01:08:30,984 --> 01:08:35,788 Ohh. Daddy, can we have those for our Christmas tree ? 1134 01:08:38,208 --> 01:08:40,743 They change color too. 1135 01:08:42,746 --> 01:08:44,714 [ Mother Sighs ] 1136 01:08:44,748 --> 01:08:48,251 Oh, I wanna go down here. Can we go down here ? Where ? Where ? 1137 01:08:48,335 --> 01:08:51,588 Ooh, the Comedy House. I wanna laugh. I wanna laugh. I wanna laugh. 1138 01:08:51,638 --> 01:08:56,342 Oh, the Comedy House. Okay, here we go. Hey, we're comin' over ! 1139 01:08:56,426 --> 01:08:59,345 ♪ [ Trumpet, Droning ] 1140 01:09:10,407 --> 01:09:13,326 ♪ [ Continues ] 1141 01:09:24,754 --> 01:09:27,673 [ Trumpeting Noises ] 1142 01:09:30,961 --> 01:09:32,879 ♪ Mm-hmm ♪ 1143 01:09:36,466 --> 01:09:39,385 [ Trumpeting Continues ] 1144 01:09:47,477 --> 01:09:51,113 [ Applause ] [ Man ] Thank you. Thank you so much. 1145 01:09:51,147 --> 01:09:55,534 Oh, it's so good to be here. So, I-- Shh, shh. Some outstanding... 1146 01:09:55,619 --> 01:09:58,071 entertainment coming up. 1147 01:09:58,154 --> 01:10:02,241 And our first comedian, he's been appearing at the Pico Riveria... 1148 01:10:02,325 --> 01:10:04,493 last couple of weeks and the Holiday Inn. 1149 01:10:04,577 --> 01:10:07,329 He's just knockin' 'em down. 1150 01:10:07,414 --> 01:10:10,667 Here he is, my friend, your friend, 1151 01:10:10,717 --> 01:10:13,720 Mr. Pee Wee Herman ! 1152 01:10:13,803 --> 01:10:16,672 Yes, let's hear it for him. [ Applause ] 1153 01:10:16,756 --> 01:10:19,675 ♪ [ Piano ] 1154 01:10:21,144 --> 01:10:24,764 Hi, everybody ! My name's Pee Wee. What's yours ? 1155 01:10:24,848 --> 01:10:27,150 Hey, look out ! [ Laughing ] 1156 01:10:27,183 --> 01:10:30,603 Say, you know, you two look a little familiar to me. 1157 01:10:30,687 --> 01:10:32,655 [ Cheech ] You smell familiar. 1158 01:10:32,689 --> 01:10:35,608 [ Crowd Laughing ] 1159 01:10:35,692 --> 01:10:39,862 Ah, ah, ah, I'm the comedian. I'll tell the jokes, okay, if you don't mind ? 1160 01:10:39,946 --> 01:10:43,866 If you think you're so funny, why don't you come up here and do an act ? 1161 01:10:43,917 --> 01:10:46,703 Go tell a joke. Go on and tell a joke. No. 1162 01:10:46,786 --> 01:10:50,756 Yeah, yeah, you think you're big stuff, why don't you come up here and try this out ? 1163 01:10:54,794 --> 01:10:57,513 ♪ [ Band Starts In ] 1164 01:10:59,549 --> 01:11:01,717 Fuck it. I'll go somewhere else. 1165 01:11:02,769 --> 01:11:05,388 Hey, hey, here. 1166 01:11:05,472 --> 01:11:08,358 [ Laughing ] [ Applause Continues ] 1167 01:11:08,391 --> 01:11:10,943 Be funny ! 1168 01:11:11,027 --> 01:11:14,230 Y'all wanna hear about Dilbert Dumb Butt in Mexico ? 1169 01:11:18,034 --> 01:11:19,952 Okay, here we go. Here it is. 1170 01:11:20,036 --> 01:11:23,239 Ol' Dilbert Dumb Butt, he went down to Mexico... 1171 01:11:23,323 --> 01:11:26,459 and he's walkin' around there in the plaza just havin' a taco, you know, 1172 01:11:26,543 --> 01:11:29,579 and gettin' the runs and everything, you know. 1173 01:11:29,629 --> 01:11:33,466 And he had to get back to the navy station and didn't know what time it was. 1174 01:11:33,550 --> 01:11:38,004 He sees this old Mexican type fellow leaning against a wall havin' a siesta. 1175 01:11:38,088 --> 01:11:43,143 And he says, "Hey, Poncho, can y'all tell a fellow what time it is ?" 1176 01:11:43,226 --> 01:11:45,811 And the guy looks up at him like that and he reaches back-- 1177 01:11:45,895 --> 01:11:48,430 His sombrero had little dingle balls all over it. 1178 01:11:48,515 --> 01:11:50,934 And there's this donkey standin' next to him. 1179 01:11:51,017 --> 01:11:54,987 He reaches out like that and he grabs the donkey right by the balls, ya know. 1180 01:11:55,071 --> 01:11:56,989 Big old wet donkey balls. 1181 01:11:57,073 --> 01:12:00,276 [ Crowd Laughing ] He's terrible ! You're terrible ! 1182 01:12:00,360 --> 01:12:05,615 And he lifts them up like that and he says, "Oh, senor, it's, mmm, 2:30." 1183 01:12:05,698 --> 01:12:09,418 Goddamn. Dilbert says, "Holy sheep shit ! 1184 01:12:09,452 --> 01:12:14,123 How in the hell can you tell time by grabbin' a donkey's balls, man ?" 1185 01:12:14,207 --> 01:12:16,459 And he says, "Ah, simple, senor. 1186 01:12:16,509 --> 01:12:20,095 "First you take the balls of that burro and you lift 'em up, 1187 01:12:20,130 --> 01:12:22,599 and you see that clock over there ? [ Laughing ] 1188 01:12:22,632 --> 01:12:24,634 [ Crowd Whooping ] 1189 01:12:24,684 --> 01:12:26,602 [ Mother ] I get it ! 1190 01:12:26,636 --> 01:12:29,772 You get it ? Thank you very much. 1191 01:12:29,806 --> 01:12:33,109 Oh, thank you. Thank you. Hey, Grandma, you tell a joke. 1192 01:12:33,143 --> 01:12:35,311 Come on, mama ! Oh, me ? No. 1193 01:12:35,361 --> 01:12:37,980 Yeah, come on. Come on ! 1194 01:12:38,064 --> 01:12:40,699 All right, Grandma ! All right, come up here. 1195 01:12:40,784 --> 01:12:43,653 Whoa, whoa. All right ! 1196 01:12:43,703 --> 01:12:45,821 [ Giggling ] Go on. Tell a joke. 1197 01:12:49,292 --> 01:12:52,078 [ Boisterous Laughter ] 1198 01:12:53,880 --> 01:12:55,965 Oh ! Oh ! Oh ! Oh. 1199 01:12:55,999 --> 01:12:59,002 Okay, now I'll tell a story. Okay, uh, uh-- 1200 01:12:59,085 --> 01:13:04,256 How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb ? 1201 01:13:04,340 --> 01:13:08,260 - [ Whispering ] How many ? - I don't know. How many ? 1202 01:13:08,344 --> 01:13:12,264 It only-- Okay. It only takes one, 1203 01:13:12,348 --> 01:13:14,650 but it takes a long time... 1204 01:13:14,684 --> 01:13:18,320 and the lightbulb has to want to change. 1205 01:13:19,405 --> 01:13:22,191 [ Scattered Laughter ] 1206 01:13:22,275 --> 01:13:24,360 [ Boisterous Laughter ] 1207 01:13:28,865 --> 01:13:31,167 Hey, wasn't she great ? Come on ! Yeah ! 1208 01:13:31,201 --> 01:13:35,371 Wasn't she great ? Hey, come on. Let's give her a hand. 1209 01:13:36,422 --> 01:13:38,874 All right, Grandma ! Yea ! 1210 01:13:38,958 --> 01:13:41,010 That was great ! 1211 01:13:41,044 --> 01:13:44,430 Was that funny ? Was I funny, Daddy ? Was I funny ? 1212 01:13:44,514 --> 01:13:47,350 You tell a joke now. You want him to tell a joke ? 1213 01:13:47,383 --> 01:13:51,303 All right ! Come on ! Tell a joke, man. 1214 01:13:53,473 --> 01:13:56,776 All right, you tell a joke, man. Go on. Get up there. 1215 01:13:57,393 --> 01:13:59,311 [ Chuckles ] 1216 01:13:59,395 --> 01:14:02,898 Hey, hey, you. See those two guys over there ? 1217 01:14:02,982 --> 01:14:06,535 I need you to kill them for me ! They had me put in jail today. 1218 01:14:06,569 --> 01:14:09,989 Those guys right there on stage. Sorry. I can't leave the door. 1219 01:14:10,073 --> 01:14:11,991 Hey, thanks ! 1220 01:14:12,075 --> 01:14:14,077 Hey, you ! 1221 01:14:14,127 --> 01:14:17,630 I've, I've never, uh, like, been on stage before. 1222 01:14:17,714 --> 01:14:21,634 I hope I don't fuck up. [ Laughter ] 1223 01:14:21,718 --> 01:14:24,253 Okay, I wanna do some magic, man. 1224 01:14:28,892 --> 01:14:31,144 Uh, let's see. How does this go ? Oh, yeah. 1225 01:14:33,146 --> 01:14:35,431 Okay, what is this ? A napkin ! 1226 01:14:35,481 --> 01:14:37,683 Hey. 1227 01:14:37,767 --> 01:14:39,819 And what is this ? A glass. 1228 01:14:39,903 --> 01:14:44,274 Okay. I'm gonna turn this glass into a dick. 1229 01:14:44,324 --> 01:14:47,160 [ Laughter, Applause ] 1230 01:14:49,112 --> 01:14:51,948 [ Candy ] I wish I could do that. 1231 01:14:52,615 --> 01:14:54,867 See ? Huh ? 1232 01:14:54,951 --> 01:14:56,585 See ? 1233 01:14:56,619 --> 01:14:58,704 Quite a peach, huh ? 1234 01:14:58,788 --> 01:15:01,040 Stop the show ! 1235 01:15:01,124 --> 01:15:04,210 Stop the show ! That's the guy right there. Kill him. 1236 01:15:04,294 --> 01:15:07,213 [ Crowd Hooting ] 1237 01:15:10,300 --> 01:15:12,602 Get him, Thumbelina ! 1238 01:15:12,635 --> 01:15:15,220 [ Crowd Whooping ] 1239 01:15:15,305 --> 01:15:17,523 [ Glass Cracking ] 1240 01:15:17,607 --> 01:15:20,309 [ Crowd Gasping ] 1241 01:15:20,360 --> 01:15:23,613 Do you belong here, buddy ? 1242 01:15:23,646 --> 01:15:27,983 Damn, now that's a woman, boy. I could keep warm all winter with that one. 1243 01:15:28,067 --> 01:15:31,653 Let me go, you big macho woman ! Let me go ! Let me go ! 1244 01:15:31,738 --> 01:15:35,792 Hey, take me. I love you. You're gonna love me, all right. 1245 01:15:35,825 --> 01:15:40,162 All right. Just let me get on top, okay ? [ Screams ] 1246 01:15:40,246 --> 01:15:43,048 [ Crowd Shouting, Laughing ] 1247 01:15:45,918 --> 01:15:48,470 [ Screaming ] 1248 01:15:48,504 --> 01:15:50,556 [ Crowd Shouting ] 1249 01:15:50,640 --> 01:15:54,143 ♪ [ Piano Starts In ] 1250 01:15:56,346 --> 01:15:59,182 Whoo ! 1251 01:16:03,152 --> 01:16:06,155 ♪ You've gotta have friends ♪ 1252 01:16:06,189 --> 01:16:09,358 ♪ [ Singing Continues ] 1253 01:16:09,442 --> 01:16:11,527 ♪ [ Piano Continues ] 1254 01:16:13,413 --> 01:16:16,582 ♪ You've got to have friends ♪ 1255 01:16:18,034 --> 01:16:19,869 ♪ You've got to have-- ♪ 1256 01:16:19,919 --> 01:16:23,372 [ Woman ] I wanted to have fun and you guys-- 1257 01:16:25,041 --> 01:16:27,793 Goddamn. Hey, I wouldn't go in there if I were you. 1258 01:16:27,877 --> 01:16:30,880 You gotta watch out for that. 1259 01:16:30,963 --> 01:16:33,799 Oh, hello, honey. [ Laughing ] 1260 01:16:33,883 --> 01:16:37,469 It's all yours. Take good care of it, buddy. 1261 01:16:37,553 --> 01:16:39,888 [ Crowd Continues Shouting ] ♪ [ Piano Continues ] 1262 01:16:39,939 --> 01:16:42,474 - Holy sheep shit ! - [ Woman Yelling ] 1263 01:16:42,558 --> 01:16:45,527 All right ! Goddamn ! Look at this shit. 1264 01:16:45,561 --> 01:16:49,114 [ Yelling Continues ] 1265 01:16:49,198 --> 01:16:51,366 [ Revving Engine ] 1266 01:16:52,902 --> 01:16:56,956 Hey ! Hey, man, come on. Some guy gave me a car. Come on in. 1267 01:16:57,040 --> 01:17:00,743 I left the weed. Oh, forget the weed. Get in the car. 1268 01:17:09,469 --> 01:17:12,138 I love coming into the city. Can you believe it, man ? 1269 01:17:12,221 --> 01:17:14,923 This guy comes up and gives me a car, man. 1270 01:17:14,974 --> 01:17:18,644 And then he comes back and gives me 20 bucks. Holy sheep shit. Only in America. 1271 01:17:18,728 --> 01:17:20,930 Hey, man, we gotta go back, man. 1272 01:17:20,980 --> 01:17:23,732 What ? What do you wanna go back for ? [ Gears Grinding ] 1273 01:17:23,766 --> 01:17:28,570 Hey, man, I left that bag of weed back there. We can always get more weed. 1274 01:17:28,604 --> 01:17:32,574 I'm used to drivin' a pickup, man. This is-- [ Gears Grinding ] 1275 01:17:32,608 --> 01:17:35,110 That's 20 pounds of buds, man. 1276 01:17:35,161 --> 01:17:39,031 Man, we can always get some more smoke, but look at this car, man. 1277 01:17:39,115 --> 01:17:41,450 Hey, man, let's go back and get the weed, okay ? 1278 01:17:41,534 --> 01:17:43,786 Do you want some more weed ? Yeah. 1279 01:17:43,870 --> 01:17:46,789 All right, hold on. [ Screaming ] 1280 01:17:48,925 --> 01:17:51,460 You hear about the guy who had French asthma ? 1281 01:17:51,511 --> 01:17:55,047 He could only catch his breath in "snatches." [ Laughing ] 1282 01:17:55,131 --> 01:17:57,550 Do you get it ? [ Laughter Continues ] 1283 01:17:57,633 --> 01:18:00,602 Hey, how do you get this thing out of first ? [ Gears Grinding ] 1284 01:18:00,636 --> 01:18:03,271 Grind it till it fits. 1285 01:18:03,306 --> 01:18:06,525 [ Man On TV ] Stay tuned as Wambaugh's Angels try to find the killer... 1286 01:18:06,609 --> 01:18:08,861 at the Miss Nude America Contest. 1287 01:18:08,945 --> 01:18:11,864 But first, this word from our sponsor. Hemorrhoid sufferers-- 1288 01:18:11,948 --> 01:18:14,283 [ Channel Changes ] 1289 01:18:20,323 --> 01:18:22,208 [ Slurps ] 1290 01:18:48,568 --> 01:18:50,686 ♪ [ Slow Jazz ] 1291 01:19:33,896 --> 01:19:36,865 ♪ [ Up-Tempo Jazz ] 1292 01:19:44,740 --> 01:19:46,742 Hey, mama, what's happening ? 1293 01:19:46,826 --> 01:19:49,044 Ooh, I need you. Ooh. 1294 01:19:49,078 --> 01:19:52,798 Hey, you're a real cutie, baby. I want you right now. 1295 01:19:52,882 --> 01:19:57,303 Mmm. Hey, you're even on this side too. 1296 01:19:57,386 --> 01:19:59,721 Oooh. 1297 01:19:59,755 --> 01:20:02,758 Hey, baby, I'll lick you all over for a dime. Go. 1298 01:20:02,808 --> 01:20:06,144 Ooh-- [ Growling ] [ Gasps ] 1299 01:20:06,229 --> 01:20:08,314 [ Screaming ] 1300 01:20:08,397 --> 01:20:10,899 Mmm. Ohh. 1301 01:20:10,933 --> 01:20:13,702 Ta-da. 1302 01:20:13,769 --> 01:20:17,105 [ Chuckles, Muttering ] 1303 01:20:21,777 --> 01:20:24,663 [ Moaning Passionately ] 1304 01:20:45,017 --> 01:20:49,304 Cheeto, it's Donna. 1305 01:20:49,355 --> 01:20:51,473 Stop that right now ! 1306 01:20:51,557 --> 01:20:54,309 You can't do those freaky things ! What are you doing ? 1307 01:20:54,360 --> 01:20:57,563 I'll call the vice squad, the League of Decency-- Get outta here ! 1308 01:20:57,647 --> 01:20:59,949 Get outta here ! [ Knocking ] 1309 01:20:59,982 --> 01:21:03,318 [ Donna ] Cheech, it's Donna. Get outta here ! Get lost ! 1310 01:21:03,369 --> 01:21:06,155 What are you doing here ? Get outta here ! 1311 01:21:06,238 --> 01:21:08,290 Go on, get ! Beat it ! 1312 01:21:08,324 --> 01:21:10,542 I said get lost, you dumb fuck ! [ Gasps ] 1313 01:21:10,626 --> 01:21:13,662 Ooo-ooo ! [ Grunts ] [ Shouting ] 1314 01:21:13,746 --> 01:21:17,633 ¡ Ay, cavron ! I paid $39 for this dress. 1315 01:21:17,667 --> 01:21:22,021 Go on ! Get outta here ! Get outta here, Donna ! 1316 01:21:37,770 --> 01:21:40,939 [ Trumpeting ] 1317 01:21:51,450 --> 01:21:55,120 [ Laughing ] You get it ? 1318 01:21:55,204 --> 01:21:59,258 Hey, man, how far do we got to go ? Oh, we're almost there, man. 1319 01:21:59,342 --> 01:22:01,460 Here, here, I got another one for you. 1320 01:22:01,544 --> 01:22:04,713 You know why a Baptist don't make love standin' up ? 1321 01:22:04,764 --> 01:22:07,550 'Cause they don't want nobody to think they're dancin'. 1322 01:22:07,600 --> 01:22:10,302 [ Laughing ] Do you get it ? 1323 01:22:10,386 --> 01:22:15,357 [ Stammering ] You know why them low riders have them tiny steering wheels ? 1324 01:22:15,391 --> 01:22:18,310 It's the only way you can drive with handcuffs on. 1325 01:22:18,394 --> 01:22:20,612 [ Boisterous Laughter ] 1326 01:22:20,696 --> 01:22:22,698 You get it ? 1327 01:22:22,732 --> 01:22:25,284 Holy sheep shit. 1328 01:22:33,743 --> 01:22:35,745 Oh, shit ! [ Siren Wailing ] 1329 01:22:35,828 --> 01:22:38,380 The cops are behind us. 1330 01:22:38,414 --> 01:22:40,549 Hey, let's lose 'em, man. [ Engine Accelerating ] 1331 01:22:40,583 --> 01:22:44,587 Whoa, shit ! Whoa ! This thing hauls, man. 1332 01:22:52,478 --> 01:22:54,429 [ Engine Shuts Off ] 1333 01:22:54,480 --> 01:22:56,515 [ Engine Grinding ] 1334 01:22:56,599 --> 01:22:59,101 Hey, we lost 'em, man ! All right. 1335 01:22:59,185 --> 01:23:02,154 All right. Oh, shit, that was too easy, man. 1336 01:23:02,238 --> 01:23:04,156 Let's let 'em catch up again. 1337 01:23:04,240 --> 01:23:06,525 [ Engine Starting ] 1338 01:23:06,609 --> 01:23:08,827 [ Siren Wailing ] 1339 01:23:20,089 --> 01:23:22,958 There they are, man ! Okay. Let's let 'em get close. 1340 01:23:23,008 --> 01:23:26,127 Uh-huh. All right, here we go ! [ Laughing ] 1341 01:23:34,303 --> 01:23:37,806 Oh, yeah, we're gonna pull over. 1342 01:23:45,731 --> 01:23:49,668 Man, let's lose 'em ! All right, hold on. 1343 01:23:51,987 --> 01:23:56,324 Hey, slow down, man ! We're off the road ! We're off the road, man ! Stop ! 1344 01:23:56,408 --> 01:23:59,627 Hey, there ain't no roads out here, man. You make your own. 1345 01:23:59,662 --> 01:24:02,164 [ Chuckles ] Hey, let's make one over there. 1346 01:24:10,506 --> 01:24:13,392 Jesus H. Christ ! Holy camel shit ! 1347 01:24:13,476 --> 01:24:15,394 Thompkins, get this thing started. 1348 01:24:15,478 --> 01:24:18,013 [ Gears Grinding ] [ Chong ] Hey, where are we, man ? 1349 01:24:18,097 --> 01:24:21,016 We're home, that's where we are. This is one of my fields. 1350 01:24:21,100 --> 01:24:23,819 Oh, wow, look at all the weed ! This is nothin', man. 1351 01:24:23,853 --> 01:24:27,406 This is just a deer field. Wait till you see the really good stuff. 1352 01:24:27,490 --> 01:24:29,909 Holy sheep shit. 1353 01:24:29,992 --> 01:24:32,494 [ Engine Grinding ] Oh, Jesus Christ. 1354 01:24:32,528 --> 01:24:36,081 Goddamn 'em, those fuckin' hippy morons ! 1355 01:24:36,165 --> 01:24:40,419 Reverse ! Son of a bitch. Reverse ! 1356 01:24:40,503 --> 01:24:42,538 [ Chuckling ] 1357 01:24:42,621 --> 01:24:45,540 Hey, watch, this is gonna be fun. 1358 01:24:45,624 --> 01:24:48,376 I got the whole field booby trapped. 1359 01:24:48,460 --> 01:24:50,428 Hey, watch this. This is-- 1360 01:24:50,513 --> 01:24:53,799 [ Explosions ] 1361 01:24:55,551 --> 01:24:57,469 [ High-Pitched Laugh ] 1362 01:24:57,553 --> 01:24:59,988 ♪ And the rockets red glare ♪ 1363 01:25:01,807 --> 01:25:03,775 ♪ The bombs bursting-- ♪ Whoo ! Whoo. 1364 01:25:03,859 --> 01:25:05,777 Oh, shit, I love it ! 1365 01:25:05,861 --> 01:25:09,197 [ Chong ] Look at the chickens. Where did the chickens come from ? 1366 01:25:09,231 --> 01:25:11,533 [ Cheech Muttering, Laughing ] 1367 01:25:11,567 --> 01:25:13,485 Oh-ho, goddamn. 1368 01:25:13,569 --> 01:25:15,571 Mayday ! Mayday ! We're under attack ! 1369 01:25:15,621 --> 01:25:17,823 Gimme that microphone. 1370 01:25:19,124 --> 01:25:22,043 I used to scare off the deer, but this is better. 1371 01:25:22,077 --> 01:25:25,830 This is car 4-13. We're north of the Chase Farm. We're out here-- 1372 01:25:25,915 --> 01:25:28,217 Whoa ! 1373 01:25:28,250 --> 01:25:30,418 [ Boisterous Laughter ] 1374 01:25:32,254 --> 01:25:35,974 We're under attack ! Something crazy's goin' on ! Everything's going crazy here ! 1375 01:25:36,058 --> 01:25:38,510 Ten-ninety-nine ! Ten-ninety-nine ! 1376 01:25:40,145 --> 01:25:43,398 Oh, goddamn. Boy, they think they're being invaded... 1377 01:25:43,432 --> 01:25:45,817 by somebody from Mars or somethin'. 1378 01:25:45,901 --> 01:25:50,105 The last time I went down, I got all these fireworks ! 1379 01:25:50,155 --> 01:25:52,524 I was waitin' for something to set it off. [ Rumbling ] 1380 01:25:52,608 --> 01:25:55,160 Whoa. Wow, what's that one ? 1381 01:25:57,613 --> 01:25:59,998 How'd you do that ? I didn't-- I didn't do that. 1382 01:26:00,082 --> 01:26:02,534 I didn't have nothin' to do with that. Look ! 1383 01:26:02,618 --> 01:26:04,536 What ? Look ! 1384 01:26:04,620 --> 01:26:08,373 [ Whirring ] [ Cheech ] Goddamn. 1385 01:26:09,508 --> 01:26:12,043 Wow. Wait a minute. 1386 01:26:12,127 --> 01:26:15,430 What do you mean, "wait a minute" ? Oh, shit ! 1387 01:26:15,464 --> 01:26:18,266 Wow ! 1388 01:26:18,300 --> 01:26:20,852 Ooh, look at that ! There's another one. 1389 01:26:23,105 --> 01:26:24,973 Whoa, look, man ! Look ! 1390 01:26:25,024 --> 01:26:28,477 What is that ? I-I didn't have nothin' to do with it, man. 1391 01:26:28,527 --> 01:26:30,695 I didn't plan none of this shit. 1392 01:26:30,779 --> 01:26:33,982 [ Whirring Continues ] 1393 01:26:49,498 --> 01:26:51,800 Oh, shit. What is this, man ? 1394 01:26:51,834 --> 01:26:54,503 Goddamn, I didn't have nothin' to do with this shit. 1395 01:26:54,553 --> 01:26:58,139 Look at that. Hey, don't put your hand in there, man. 1396 01:26:59,925 --> 01:27:01,843 Goddamn, look at that. 1397 01:27:01,927 --> 01:27:05,263 [ Chong ] What's happenin' ? Oh, God ! 1398 01:27:05,347 --> 01:27:07,599 Shit, they're gettin' bigger. 1399 01:27:07,683 --> 01:27:11,103 Oh, man, look at all this. Sheep shit. 1400 01:27:11,186 --> 01:27:13,521 [ Blast Hums ] 1401 01:27:43,185 --> 01:27:46,104 ♪ [ Tribal Drums ] 1402 01:27:57,700 --> 01:28:00,619 ♪ [ Choir Singing ] 1403 01:28:06,125 --> 01:28:08,460 ♪ [ Singing Continues ] 1404 01:28:22,725 --> 01:28:25,094 ♪ [ Singing Continues ] 1405 01:28:25,177 --> 01:28:28,597 ♪ [ Drums Continue ] 1406 01:28:47,750 --> 01:28:50,669 ♪ [ Singing Continues ] 1407 01:28:55,707 --> 01:28:57,625 [ Whistling ] 1408 01:29:04,516 --> 01:29:06,467 [ Inhales Deeply ] 1409 01:29:06,518 --> 01:29:08,636 ♪ [ Drums Continue ] 1410 01:29:11,940 --> 01:29:13,858 Say "ah." 1411 01:29:19,782 --> 01:29:22,484 [ Chong ] Hey, Cheech ! [ Echoing ] 1412 01:29:25,821 --> 01:29:31,376 What-- Uh, uh, uh, he left about an hour ago, man. He'll be right out. 1413 01:29:31,460 --> 01:29:34,463 Cheech ! [ Stammering ] I-I-I wasn't doing nothing, man. 1414 01:29:34,496 --> 01:29:37,215 She was there. I slipped. [ Mumbling ] 1415 01:29:37,299 --> 01:29:40,135 This thing fell off, man. [ Gong Ringing ] 1416 01:29:41,503 --> 01:29:43,972 Hey, Cheech ! 1417 01:29:46,608 --> 01:29:48,559 See, she's dead, anyway. 1418 01:29:48,644 --> 01:29:50,846 Hey, Cheech ! 1419 01:29:50,896 --> 01:29:53,848 What-- No, no, I didn't see nothin', man ! Cheech ! 1420 01:29:53,899 --> 01:29:56,067 What ? Cheech. 1421 01:29:56,151 --> 01:29:58,236 No ! Hey, Cheech. 1422 01:29:58,320 --> 01:30:01,239 - What ? - Hey, wake up, man. What's wrong with you ? 1423 01:30:03,492 --> 01:30:07,329 Ohh. Oh, shit, it's you. 1424 01:30:07,362 --> 01:30:11,199 Hey, you should've been with me last night. You won't believe what happened. 1425 01:30:11,283 --> 01:30:14,953 Aw-- Hey, man, I was on a U.F.O. ! I really was. 1426 01:30:15,037 --> 01:30:18,707 Yeah, yeah. Hey, your cousin and I, man, he had a bagful of dope. 1427 01:30:18,757 --> 01:30:22,544 We met all these chicks, went to a massage parlor and we went on a spaceship. 1428 01:30:22,628 --> 01:30:25,964 We were in a wheat field. We got sucked up by a spaceship. 1429 01:30:26,048 --> 01:30:28,517 And they give us some space coke. Man, look at it. 1430 01:30:28,550 --> 01:30:32,186 This is space coke. You've never tasted this before, man. 1431 01:30:32,221 --> 01:30:36,391 Hey, try this, man. Try it. It'll blow your head off. [ Snorting ] 1432 01:30:36,441 --> 01:30:39,644 [ Screaming ] 1433 01:30:39,728 --> 01:30:43,031 [ Roaring ] 1434 01:30:45,617 --> 01:30:48,987 [ Grunting, Screams ] 1435 01:30:50,072 --> 01:30:52,040 [ Roaring ] 1436 01:30:52,074 --> 01:30:55,494 [ Loud Clattering ] 1437 01:30:55,577 --> 01:30:58,463 [ Roaring Continues ] 1438 01:30:58,547 --> 01:31:02,083 [ Objects Smashing ] 1439 01:31:09,091 --> 01:31:11,309 [ Roaring Continues ] 1440 01:31:15,430 --> 01:31:18,349 [ Wind Gusting ] 1441 01:31:27,693 --> 01:31:30,445 [ Engine Starting ] 1442 01:31:30,529 --> 01:31:32,831 [ Engine Revving ] 1443 01:31:32,915 --> 01:31:35,851 ♪ [ Rock 'N' Roll ] 1444 01:31:38,537 --> 01:31:42,457 Closed-Captioned By Captions, Inc. Los Angeles 1445 01:31:42,507 --> 01:31:45,459 [ Crowd Cheering ] 1446 01:32:32,507 --> 01:32:34,475 ♪ [ Continues ] 1447 01:32:40,899 --> 01:32:42,850 [ Cheering Continues ] 1448 01:33:31,233 --> 01:33:33,568 ♪ [ Continues ] 1449 01:33:37,289 --> 01:33:39,741 [ Cheering Continues ] 1450 01:34:25,370 --> 01:34:28,289 ♪ [ Fades ] 118735