Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,620 --> 00:00:09,137
Damn, did you park
under a tree
2
00:00:09,172 --> 00:00:11,137
with like
10,000 birds in it?
3
00:00:11,172 --> 00:00:13,655
I-- No, it's just,
how much feces comes out
4
00:00:13,689 --> 00:00:14,827
of one little bird
butthole?
5
00:00:14,862 --> 00:00:16,655
It's like
a Jackson Pollock painting.
6
00:00:16,689 --> 00:00:17,931
[blows raspberry]
7
00:00:17,965 --> 00:00:19,965
I got some in-- ugh!Ugh!
8
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,275
Ugh!Wash it out.
9
00:00:21,310 --> 00:00:24,000
Ah!
Oh, my God!
10
00:00:25,413 --> 00:00:27,206
Hey, Nora.Hey!
11
00:00:27,241 --> 00:00:31,068
Doug.Melanie, it's been a while.
12
00:00:31,103 --> 00:00:32,896
It's been a minute.
13
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:38,068
It's awkward because
you guys used to...
14
00:00:38,103 --> 00:00:39,724
In the back
of my Altima.
15
00:00:39,758 --> 00:00:41,275
We did much more
than scissor.
16
00:00:41,310 --> 00:00:44,137
Right, Doug?Right. Right.
17
00:00:44,172 --> 00:00:46,310
That is until
you met Lisa, you fuck!
18
00:00:46,344 --> 00:00:47,482
Don't, don't hit me.
Not here, not here.
19
00:00:47,517 --> 00:00:49,758
[speaking Spanish]Hey!
20
00:00:49,793 --> 00:00:51,137
[both shouting]
21
00:00:51,172 --> 00:00:53,482
I gotta go.
I'll hit you later, all right?
22
00:00:53,517 --> 00:00:56,448
[shouting in Spanish]
23
00:00:56,482 --> 00:00:57,620
Tell him, girl.
24
00:00:57,655 --> 00:00:59,482
[shouting in Spanish]
25
00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:01,793
Anyway, uh,
do you have the trumpet?
26
00:01:01,827 --> 00:01:03,344
Oh, yes, I do.
27
00:01:03,379 --> 00:01:04,689
Here we go.
28
00:01:04,724 --> 00:01:06,758
Had her
since fourth grade.
29
00:01:07,862 --> 00:01:09,551
First thing I tongued.
30
00:01:09,586 --> 00:01:11,103
You know?Oh.
31
00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:13,137
Lot of good memories.Mm-hmm.
32
00:01:13,172 --> 00:01:15,103
What do you-- what do you
need a trumpet for anyway?
33
00:01:15,137 --> 00:01:17,482
My new man needs
to sample it for a song.
34
00:01:17,517 --> 00:01:18,793
Your new man?!
35
00:01:18,827 --> 00:01:20,379
Didn't I tell you
I was dating Rat Lung?
36
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:21,379
Who?
37
00:01:21,413 --> 00:01:23,172
Wait, you don't know
who Rat Lung is?
38
00:01:23,206 --> 00:01:27,517
No.He's like a mildly famous
SoundCloud producer.
39
00:01:27,551 --> 00:01:29,896
We met when I interviewed him
for Fazer.
40
00:01:29,931 --> 00:01:31,482
Oh, yeah, congrats
on the new job, by the way.
41
00:01:31,517 --> 00:01:33,517
Thank you. Look, this is
him right here.
42
00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:37,000
Looks like he works
at like Warby Parker
or something...
43
00:01:37,034 --> 00:01:40,862
Our sex is so Jurassic.
44
00:01:40,896 --> 00:01:43,724
I sound like a pterodactyl
every time, like...
45
00:01:43,758 --> 00:01:45,137
Oh.[squawking]
46
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:46,448
Oh, oh, okay.[moans]
47
00:01:46,482 --> 00:01:47,793
And you can't
control that?
48
00:01:47,827 --> 00:01:49,310
Look at this pic.
Unh.
49
00:01:49,344 --> 00:01:50,827
What is that,
a neck tattoo?
50
00:01:50,862 --> 00:01:53,655
Of Eleanor Roosevelt.
He's a feminist.
51
00:01:53,689 --> 00:01:55,034
Look, listen.
52
00:01:55,068 --> 00:01:57,172
[music plays on phone]
53
00:01:57,206 --> 00:02:00,172
I love this part
when it's just like...
54
00:02:00,206 --> 00:02:03,344
[music continues]
55
00:02:03,379 --> 00:02:04,517
[liquid drips] And a drop.
56
00:02:04,551 --> 00:02:07,862
Oh, yeah.
Okay, whoa! Yeah.
57
00:02:07,896 --> 00:02:10,034
Yeah, the whole track
is made entirely
58
00:02:10,068 --> 00:02:11,965
of the sound
of independent women
59
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,551
using neti pots.
60
00:02:13,586 --> 00:02:14,551
Beautiful.
61
00:02:14,586 --> 00:02:15,758
Anyway, I gotta run.
62
00:02:15,793 --> 00:02:18,379
So I'll just take
the trumpet.
63
00:02:18,413 --> 00:02:19,758
Thank you.
64
00:02:19,793 --> 00:02:21,068
Just be careful
with it, okay?
65
00:02:21,103 --> 00:02:23,103
Okay, Nora, I'm gonna
take care of it, okay?
66
00:02:23,137 --> 00:02:24,448
I lost my virginity
to it.
67
00:02:24,482 --> 00:02:25,931
Shh, don't tell
anybody that.
68
00:02:25,965 --> 00:02:28,034
Okay, well,
then I'll be gentle.
69
00:02:28,068 --> 00:02:29,103
Thanks, girl.
70
00:02:29,137 --> 00:02:30,896
[grunting]
71
00:02:30,931 --> 00:02:33,862
♪♪
72
00:02:38,931 --> 00:02:40,689
[Wally]
It doesn't matter, Ma,
just get rid of it.
73
00:02:40,724 --> 00:02:42,275
Cover it up or something.
74
00:02:42,310 --> 00:02:43,793
Oh, shit, the TV!
75
00:02:43,827 --> 00:02:46,034
[Grandma]
Oh, cover it up!
76
00:02:46,068 --> 00:02:47,103
Hurry up, Ma.
77
00:02:47,137 --> 00:02:49,000
Wow, not enough time.
78
00:02:50,241 --> 00:02:52,068
[mumbling indistinctly]
79
00:02:55,310 --> 00:02:57,275
What's, Aunt Sandra
coming to town or something?
80
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,275
Yes! As usual,
your Aunt Sandra
81
00:02:59,310 --> 00:03:01,620
is coming from her
hippie commune
82
00:03:01,655 --> 00:03:02,724
out in New Mexico,
83
00:03:02,758 --> 00:03:04,931
and she give us
like one hour of notice.
84
00:03:04,965 --> 00:03:06,206
What the hell is this, Ma?
85
00:03:06,241 --> 00:03:07,482
The probiotic
that she gave us.
86
00:03:07,517 --> 00:03:09,965
I'll put it out like
we use it every day.Yes.
87
00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:12,517
Nora!Yeah.
88
00:03:12,551 --> 00:03:14,827
Here.Oh.
89
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:17,068
♪ Ohana
90
00:03:17,103 --> 00:03:18,620
Holy shit![Grandma cheering]
91
00:03:18,655 --> 00:03:21,000
Xiao bao!
92
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,241
You look great!
93
00:03:22,275 --> 00:03:24,034
Sandy, how long
has it been?
94
00:03:24,068 --> 00:03:27,482
You know I live
in the present, Wally.
95
00:03:27,517 --> 00:03:29,931
Mmm, oh!
That feels good.
96
00:03:29,965 --> 00:03:33,413
And Nora,
my favorite niece.
97
00:03:33,448 --> 00:03:35,517
Come on!
[laughs]
98
00:03:35,551 --> 00:03:36,758
Oh, I missed you.
99
00:03:36,793 --> 00:03:39,034
I missed you, Aunt Sandra.Aww...
100
00:03:39,068 --> 00:03:40,724
Oh.
101
00:03:40,758 --> 00:03:42,034
Arlo![all exclaiming]
102
00:03:42,068 --> 00:03:44,034
Oh, I didn't know you were
coming too, little man.
103
00:03:44,068 --> 00:03:45,379
Hey!
104
00:03:46,448 --> 00:03:47,655
Oh.
105
00:03:47,689 --> 00:03:49,068
Say hi to your big cousin.
106
00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:50,620
Hi, Nora.
107
00:03:50,655 --> 00:03:52,620
I hope the world
is treating you
108
00:03:52,655 --> 00:03:54,689
with kindness and mercy.
109
00:03:54,724 --> 00:03:56,275
Yeah, it is.
110
00:03:56,310 --> 00:03:57,448
Namaste.
111
00:03:57,482 --> 00:03:58,862
Namaste. Yes.
112
00:03:58,896 --> 00:04:00,931
Namaste. Perfect.
113
00:04:00,965 --> 00:04:03,931
Now, I'm just dropping off
Arlo and his food.
114
00:04:03,965 --> 00:04:08,241
And then I'm off
to see my shaman, oh.
115
00:04:08,275 --> 00:04:10,862
Well, you're just gonna
come and go as you please,
116
00:04:10,896 --> 00:04:11,931
huh, Sandy?
117
00:04:11,965 --> 00:04:15,034
Wally, I am not going
to apologize
118
00:04:15,068 --> 00:04:16,793
for connecting
with new people,
119
00:04:16,827 --> 00:04:18,551
mentally, spiritually,
and...
120
00:04:18,586 --> 00:04:20,689
Don't say it....sexually.
121
00:04:20,724 --> 00:04:22,689
Ugh.When you coming back?
122
00:04:22,724 --> 00:04:23,827
Four days max.
123
00:04:23,862 --> 00:04:25,241
Four fuckin' days?
124
00:04:25,275 --> 00:04:28,655
Remember, Arlo only eats
ancient grains
125
00:04:28,689 --> 00:04:30,758
and nut-based milk.
126
00:04:30,793 --> 00:04:34,241
And please, no sugar,
for the love of Gaia.
127
00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:35,827
Don't worry, Sandy.
128
00:04:35,862 --> 00:04:38,241
We're gonna take good care
of the little dude.
129
00:04:38,275 --> 00:04:41,827
How did he get so fat
if he can't eat anything?
130
00:04:41,862 --> 00:04:43,310
[cackling laugh]Ma?
131
00:04:43,344 --> 00:04:45,172
He's fat!
132
00:04:45,206 --> 00:04:48,137
♪♪
133
00:04:55,172 --> 00:04:57,655
I didn't know bread
came in white.
134
00:04:57,689 --> 00:05:00,206
What do you
normally eat, Arlo?
135
00:05:00,241 --> 00:05:02,310
We farm everything
at the compound,
136
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:03,689
including our own squash.
137
00:05:05,344 --> 00:05:07,000
Can I have some of that?
138
00:05:08,103 --> 00:05:09,586
Some of this?
139
00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:11,137
Yeah.
140
00:05:11,172 --> 00:05:12,655
Oh, this is soda, buddy.
141
00:05:12,689 --> 00:05:14,034
I don't think
you can have soda.
142
00:05:14,068 --> 00:05:17,241
I can.Mm, I don't know, Arlo.
143
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:21,068
Please?
I love you, Cousin Nora.
144
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:22,793
Oh, it's so cute.
145
00:05:22,827 --> 00:05:24,413
Get down here.
Hurry up.
146
00:05:26,103 --> 00:05:28,310
Just have a--
Just a little sip, all right?
147
00:05:28,344 --> 00:05:30,034
Just let it touch
your lips.
148
00:05:30,068 --> 00:05:32,137
Got it.You promise?
149
00:05:32,172 --> 00:05:33,931
Promise.
150
00:05:33,965 --> 00:05:35,896
Just a little sip.All right.
151
00:05:39,758 --> 00:05:41,241
[gulping]
152
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:46,655
Ahh...
[burps]
153
00:05:49,103 --> 00:05:51,034
Oh, shit.
154
00:05:51,068 --> 00:05:53,206
It's Arlo's world!
155
00:05:53,241 --> 00:05:55,827
I pillaged the villages
and sacrificed the peasants
156
00:05:55,862 --> 00:05:58,586
to the pits of fiery hell!
157
00:05:58,620 --> 00:06:00,655
[screaming]
158
00:06:00,689 --> 00:06:02,344
Faster, faster!
159
00:06:02,379 --> 00:06:04,896
We're the Pony Express
and the mail depends on us!
160
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,689
Oh, my goddamn knees!
161
00:06:06,724 --> 00:06:07,965
Ha-ha-ha.[whip cracking effect]
162
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,344
[rap music playing]
163
00:06:09,379 --> 00:06:10,689
Arlo? Hey.
164
00:06:10,724 --> 00:06:11,896
En garde!
165
00:06:11,931 --> 00:06:13,034
Give me that back.
166
00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:15,034
This is not a toy,
at least not that kinda toy!
167
00:06:15,068 --> 00:06:16,551
But I want to spar!
168
00:06:16,586 --> 00:06:17,862
You don't know where
this thing's been, Arlo.
169
00:06:17,896 --> 00:06:20,034
Duel with me!I don't wanna duel with you!
170
00:06:20,068 --> 00:06:22,000
Duel!Fine. Take it.
171
00:06:24,758 --> 00:06:27,655
[distorted screaming]
Oh...
172
00:06:27,689 --> 00:06:30,310
my vag!
173
00:06:30,344 --> 00:06:32,620
[distorted wailing][opera music playing]
174
00:06:32,655 --> 00:06:33,689
[thud]
175
00:06:35,517 --> 00:06:36,758
[phone chimes]
176
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:40,172
[plastic crumpling]
177
00:06:40,206 --> 00:06:41,482
[queef]
178
00:06:41,517 --> 00:06:43,448
[whispers]
What was that? What was it?
179
00:06:50,172 --> 00:06:52,655
[queefs]
It's me!
180
00:06:52,689 --> 00:06:54,034
It's me.
181
00:06:54,068 --> 00:06:56,103
[queef]
182
00:06:56,137 --> 00:06:57,241
What the fuck?!
183
00:06:59,413 --> 00:07:01,448
[keys clacking]
184
00:07:01,482 --> 00:07:04,413
♪♪
185
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,620
Fuck.
186
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,896
Hey, peeps.
What's up?
187
00:07:12,931 --> 00:07:14,413
It's Dr. Shithra.
188
00:07:14,448 --> 00:07:17,103
Today's hot topic--
queefs.
189
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,689
Okay, ladies,
let's keep it real.
190
00:07:18,724 --> 00:07:21,172
Whether it's from stress
or a swollen vag
191
00:07:21,206 --> 00:07:22,965
or bad sex
with your ex-boyfriend Lenny,
192
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,448
we have all queefed before.
193
00:07:25,482 --> 00:07:27,758
But don't worry,
a queef is just air
194
00:07:27,793 --> 00:07:29,862
trapped inside your vagina
that wants to escape.
195
00:07:29,896 --> 00:07:33,241
So just rest, air it out,
196
00:07:33,275 --> 00:07:35,793
and it'll go away
eventually.
197
00:07:35,827 --> 00:07:37,310
But if it doesn't,
198
00:07:37,344 --> 00:07:38,862
you might have cancer.
199
00:07:42,172 --> 00:07:43,724
[yawning]
200
00:07:45,034 --> 00:07:47,000
[groaning]
What happened?
201
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:48,793
You really crashed
after you slammed
202
00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:51,862
that chocolate syrup right
out of the squeeze bottle.
203
00:07:51,896 --> 00:07:54,000
I need alkaline water.
204
00:07:54,034 --> 00:07:56,172
Maybe some mother's milk.
205
00:07:56,206 --> 00:07:58,275
Don't look at me, kid.
206
00:07:58,310 --> 00:07:59,620
What are you doing?
207
00:07:59,655 --> 00:08:01,758
I'm playing a game.
208
00:08:01,793 --> 00:08:03,793
I'm only allowed
to play chess.
209
00:08:03,827 --> 00:08:07,344
Oh, yeah?Uh-huh.
210
00:08:07,379 --> 00:08:09,724
You see,
if you like the woman,
211
00:08:09,758 --> 00:08:11,068
you swipe to the right.Mm-hmm.
212
00:08:11,103 --> 00:08:12,172
But if you don't
like the woman,
213
00:08:12,206 --> 00:08:14,000
you swipe to the left.
214
00:08:14,034 --> 00:08:16,034
Mm-mm.
215
00:08:16,068 --> 00:08:19,068
Oh, no, thank you.
Eww, next.
216
00:08:19,103 --> 00:08:20,931
You're just looking
at their pictures.
217
00:08:20,965 --> 00:08:23,103
You don't even know
their favorite books!
218
00:08:23,137 --> 00:08:26,344
Why don't you
help me pick?
219
00:08:27,827 --> 00:08:29,137
[sighs]
220
00:08:30,827 --> 00:08:32,344
Smoker, nope.
221
00:08:33,482 --> 00:08:37,137
Hmm, she used
the wrong "their."
222
00:08:37,172 --> 00:08:40,103
Whoo, Samantha's a doula.
Wonderful!
223
00:08:40,137 --> 00:08:41,620
Wait a second,
where are you getting
224
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:42,862
all this information?
225
00:08:42,896 --> 00:08:44,206
I'm reading their bios.
226
00:08:45,827 --> 00:08:48,034
I never knew that
people actually read those.
227
00:08:48,068 --> 00:08:49,758
[phone chimes]
228
00:08:49,793 --> 00:08:52,034
[phone clicking]
229
00:09:10,931 --> 00:09:12,793
[queefs]
Oh...
230
00:09:12,827 --> 00:09:14,275
Oh!
231
00:09:14,310 --> 00:09:16,896
[phone vibrating, ringtone]
232
00:09:18,068 --> 00:09:19,689
Hello?
233
00:09:19,724 --> 00:09:21,896
[Melanie]
Nora, hey, you gotta
get to the studio.
234
00:09:21,931 --> 00:09:23,206
Rat Lung's recording,
235
00:09:23,241 --> 00:09:24,620
and he told me
to bring an Asian friend.
236
00:09:24,655 --> 00:09:27,241
I can't.
237
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,413
I'm-- I'm sick.
I'm sick.
238
00:09:29,448 --> 00:09:31,379
Short of you having
anus shingles,
239
00:09:31,413 --> 00:09:33,206
there's no reason
for you not to be here.
240
00:09:35,034 --> 00:09:36,655
Well, that's not
anus shingles,
241
00:09:36,689 --> 00:09:38,241
but it's comparable.
242
00:09:38,275 --> 00:09:40,344
Ugh, don't be
so lame, dude.
243
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:42,137
You only live once, Nora.
244
00:09:42,172 --> 00:09:44,413
You really want me to ask
Esther Wong instead?
245
00:09:44,448 --> 00:09:47,724
'Cause I will.
Ha, she's down for whatever.
246
00:09:47,758 --> 00:09:51,931
No! Fuck Esther Wong!
Fuck, fuck Esther Wong.
247
00:09:51,965 --> 00:09:54,103
I'm down.
Text me the address!
248
00:09:54,137 --> 00:09:55,482
Nice. [queefs]
249
00:09:55,517 --> 00:09:56,689
Wait, what was that?
250
00:09:56,724 --> 00:09:58,793
I-- I just bought a--
I bought a--
251
00:09:58,827 --> 00:10:00,655
We adopted a cat.
252
00:10:00,689 --> 00:10:02,000
Okay, gotta go, bye.
253
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,034
[phone chimes]Great!
254
00:10:06,068 --> 00:10:08,862
Uncle Wally!
Wake up! Wake up!
255
00:10:08,896 --> 00:10:10,310
Huh?You got a date!
256
00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:11,620
Huh?
257
00:10:11,655 --> 00:10:12,931
You're matched with Isabelle.
258
00:10:12,965 --> 00:10:15,241
She also works at IT
just like you.
259
00:10:15,275 --> 00:10:16,655
Oh, interesting.
260
00:10:16,689 --> 00:10:19,172
Let me see what
we're dealing with here.Mm-mm-mm.
261
00:10:19,206 --> 00:10:21,172
It doesn't matter
what she looks like.
262
00:10:21,206 --> 00:10:22,965
It matters that
she's a Libra,
263
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:26,344
and I already set up
a no-frills coffee date.
264
00:10:26,379 --> 00:10:29,310
All right, fine.
265
00:10:29,344 --> 00:10:30,931
I'll go on a blind date.
266
00:10:30,965 --> 00:10:32,931
She's also very limber.
267
00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,896
♪♪
268
00:10:36,310 --> 00:10:38,655
♪♪
269
00:10:38,689 --> 00:10:41,275
Yo! That sounds tight.
You-- you killin' it, bro.
270
00:10:41,310 --> 00:10:42,448
You killin' it, bro!
271
00:10:42,482 --> 00:10:45,793
I love that drumbeat.
It's like a little...
272
00:10:45,827 --> 00:10:47,172
Oh, cut it, cut it, cut it.[music stops]
273
00:10:47,206 --> 00:10:48,862
[soft chatter]
274
00:10:48,896 --> 00:10:50,793
Hey, can you stop that?
275
00:10:50,827 --> 00:10:52,275
Oh, sorry, yeah.
No, I thought he was...
276
00:10:52,310 --> 00:10:54,000
Okay, it's very loud.
277
00:10:54,034 --> 00:10:55,482
It's just that I thought
he was in another room.
278
00:10:55,517 --> 00:10:56,793
[whispers]
It's okay.
279
00:10:56,827 --> 00:10:58,689
Okay, these are intricate
and expensive sounds
280
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:01,758
created by a genius
who deserves your respect.
281
00:11:01,793 --> 00:11:03,241
[whispers]
Gotcha.
282
00:11:03,275 --> 00:11:05,068
This shit is wack.
283
00:11:05,103 --> 00:11:07,000
Yo, nothing feels right.
284
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:10,000
Hey, chin up, homie.
You're perfect.
285
00:11:10,034 --> 00:11:11,482
You're perfect.
286
00:11:11,517 --> 00:11:12,793
Really good.So perfect.
287
00:11:12,827 --> 00:11:14,172
So, uh...[Rat Lung]
You're perfect.
288
00:11:14,206 --> 00:11:16,586
[both moaning, kissing]
289
00:11:16,620 --> 00:11:19,379
So I'm just gonna
get outta here and skedaddle.
290
00:11:19,413 --> 00:11:21,068
It's-- it's late.
291
00:11:21,103 --> 00:11:23,379
[queefs]
292
00:11:23,413 --> 00:11:24,862
[Rat Lung]
Wait. What was that?
293
00:11:24,896 --> 00:11:26,241
Must've been something...
294
00:11:26,275 --> 00:11:28,275
Things have been caught--
Maybe this moth's here.
295
00:11:28,310 --> 00:11:30,137
Think it's that moth there.
296
00:11:30,172 --> 00:11:32,689
Give it a little water.
Um... [clears throat]
297
00:11:32,724 --> 00:11:34,620
Melanie and Mr. Rat Lung.
298
00:11:34,655 --> 00:11:36,379
[queefs]
299
00:11:36,413 --> 00:11:38,896
It's-- it's you.
How-- how did you do that?
300
00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:41,379
It wasn't...
It was a non...
301
00:11:41,413 --> 00:11:42,655
It wasn't...
302
00:11:42,689 --> 00:11:44,034
I think it came
from your pants.
303
00:11:44,068 --> 00:11:46,689
No! No. It's...
[queefs]
304
00:11:46,724 --> 00:11:49,586
Oh...No, I didn't...
from there.
305
00:11:49,620 --> 00:11:52,034
It was a vagina fart!
306
00:11:52,068 --> 00:11:53,206
It was a queef!
307
00:11:53,241 --> 00:11:54,379
I got kicked
in the pussy!
308
00:11:54,413 --> 00:11:57,000
You should've told me.I should've told you!
309
00:11:57,034 --> 00:11:59,586
But I didn't want you to invite
Esther Wong here, bitch.
310
00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:02,034
So, on that note...You-- you--
311
00:12:02,068 --> 00:12:03,896
you have to let me
sample that.
312
00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:06,620
No, dude.Please.
[chuckles]
313
00:12:06,655 --> 00:12:09,724
I mean, I-- I thought
I'd recorded it all--
314
00:12:09,758 --> 00:12:12,413
a tree growing
in Brooklyn,
315
00:12:12,448 --> 00:12:14,827
a rich woman eating
a croissant,
316
00:12:14,862 --> 00:12:17,172
a Tanzanian kid
sneezing.
317
00:12:17,206 --> 00:12:20,137
But a Chinese-Korean
vagina fart?
318
00:12:20,172 --> 00:12:23,137
That is like...
monumental in every way.
319
00:12:23,172 --> 00:12:24,310
Come on, man.
[slapping hands]
320
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,965
You told him
my exact race?
321
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:30,034
This song is one sound
away from being finished.
322
00:12:30,068 --> 00:12:33,068
Please, please.
323
00:12:33,103 --> 00:12:34,620
Fine!Oh, my God.
324
00:12:34,655 --> 00:12:36,586
For the culture!That's good.
325
00:12:36,620 --> 00:12:38,551
♪♪
326
00:12:40,103 --> 00:12:42,931
[long queef]
How's that?
327
00:12:42,965 --> 00:12:44,551
It's so beautiful.Great.
328
00:12:44,586 --> 00:12:46,275
I'm loving everything
that you're doing.
329
00:12:46,310 --> 00:12:47,448
Can we try another one
330
00:12:47,482 --> 00:12:48,965
where you waddle around
a little bit?
331
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,655
I wanna try
mixing up the pitches.
332
00:12:50,689 --> 00:12:53,482
Hey, this isn't gonna get like
released or anything, right?
333
00:12:53,517 --> 00:12:55,172
What's with your girl?
Huh?
334
00:12:55,206 --> 00:12:56,931
Nora, just queef.
335
00:12:56,965 --> 00:12:58,586
It's just a little
embarrassing,
336
00:12:58,620 --> 00:13:00,310
like the setup.
337
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:02,310
I totally get that.Hm.
338
00:13:02,344 --> 00:13:04,551
But this isn't even
gonna be public.
339
00:13:04,586 --> 00:13:05,827
This is just for me.
340
00:13:05,862 --> 00:13:07,034
This is for
my private collection.
341
00:13:07,068 --> 00:13:10,172
So, just know what
you're doing is beautiful,
342
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,689
it's natural, and it's
just one sound
343
00:13:12,724 --> 00:13:14,344
in the symphony of the world.
344
00:13:14,379 --> 00:13:16,586
All right, I think I can
squeeze one out for ya.
345
00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:18,655
You guys read--
You ready?
346
00:13:18,689 --> 00:13:21,551
What about you, Marcus?
What kind of Asian are you?
347
00:13:24,068 --> 00:13:25,275
When you're on
a roller coaster,
348
00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:26,586
do your balls lift up
a little bit or what?
349
00:13:26,620 --> 00:13:27,758
Just one of 'em.
350
00:13:27,793 --> 00:13:29,137
It's like a little
gravity-defying moment.
351
00:13:29,172 --> 00:13:30,931
Just one ball lifts up?Yeah...
352
00:13:30,965 --> 00:13:33,896
[queef ringtone]
353
00:13:36,310 --> 00:13:37,448
W-w-what was that?
354
00:13:37,482 --> 00:13:38,793
It's Tiffany.
I'm not answering.
355
00:13:38,827 --> 00:13:42,034
No, no, no, no, no, no.
W-w-w-what song is that?
356
00:13:42,068 --> 00:13:43,241
Oh, it's the new
Rat Lung.
357
00:13:43,275 --> 00:13:44,827
You don't listen to Rat Lung?
He's tight.
358
00:13:47,137 --> 00:13:49,517
That-- that was--
That song's in public?
359
00:13:49,551 --> 00:13:51,379
Oh, it's the number-one song
on SoundCloud right now.
360
00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:52,793
Oh, my God!
361
00:13:52,827 --> 00:13:54,413
He said he would
never release it.
362
00:13:54,448 --> 00:13:55,724
What are you talking about?
363
00:13:59,137 --> 00:14:02,068
I'm on that track.What?
364
00:14:02,103 --> 00:14:03,103
I--
365
00:14:05,068 --> 00:14:06,413
[queefs]
366
00:14:06,448 --> 00:14:08,931
Yo, that isyou.
367
00:14:08,965 --> 00:14:10,241
A little pitched up,
but it's you.
368
00:14:10,275 --> 00:14:11,965
Yeah, with some reverb
and a Fazer.
369
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,655
Yo, you better be collecting
royalties on that.
370
00:14:13,689 --> 00:14:14,862
Collecting what?
371
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:16,620
Are you collecting backend
on that frontend?
372
00:14:16,655 --> 00:14:20,413
That vagina is going
viral in this vitch.I have to go!
373
00:14:20,448 --> 00:14:22,137
Hey, do you mind
if I sample you?No!
374
00:14:22,172 --> 00:14:24,103
♪♪
375
00:14:25,551 --> 00:14:28,137
So, uh...
376
00:14:28,172 --> 00:14:30,275
you also work
in IT, huh?
377
00:14:30,310 --> 00:14:31,793
No, honey, no.
378
00:14:31,827 --> 00:14:34,275
I just say that on my profile
to get more matches.
379
00:14:34,310 --> 00:14:36,275
I'm actually
a wastewater inspector.
380
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:38,931
Okay, cool.
381
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,689
So you're paying, right?
382
00:14:40,724 --> 00:14:42,206
Sure.
383
00:14:42,241 --> 00:14:44,310
I hope they have
al-mond milk here.
384
00:14:44,344 --> 00:14:46,620
Love me some al-mond milk!
385
00:14:47,896 --> 00:14:49,241
Me too.
386
00:14:49,275 --> 00:14:51,448
[bell ringing on door]
387
00:14:51,482 --> 00:14:53,241
Brenda!Wally!
388
00:14:53,275 --> 00:14:54,965
[Wally laughs]Hey.
389
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,034
You know, I was just
thinking about you.Yeah?
390
00:14:57,068 --> 00:14:59,172
Yeah, yeah, I was
throwing some pottery.
391
00:14:59,206 --> 00:15:00,931
And there was something
in the glaze
392
00:15:00,965 --> 00:15:02,413
that made me
think about your face.
393
00:15:02,448 --> 00:15:04,103
[laughing]
Oh...
394
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,034
That's nice.Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
395
00:15:06,068 --> 00:15:07,379
I didn't want to interrupt.
396
00:15:07,413 --> 00:15:09,482
Oh, it's just
a noncommittal coffee date.
397
00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:11,482
Oh...[sighs]
398
00:15:11,517 --> 00:15:13,689
But she pronounces
"almond milk"
399
00:15:13,724 --> 00:15:15,586
like "al-mond milk."
400
00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:17,206
Oh, I hate that, yeah.
401
00:15:17,241 --> 00:15:20,068
This online dating
thing sucks.
402
00:15:20,103 --> 00:15:23,172
I'm terrible at it.Me too, me too.
403
00:15:23,206 --> 00:15:26,172
Well... good luck.You too.
404
00:15:26,206 --> 00:15:27,482
Okay.
405
00:15:31,827 --> 00:15:34,034
She...
406
00:15:34,068 --> 00:15:35,482
Yeah.
407
00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:37,827
So, anyway,
long story short,
408
00:15:37,862 --> 00:15:39,517
I lost 200 pounds,
409
00:15:39,551 --> 00:15:42,517
and all this residual skin
is just weighing me down.
410
00:15:42,551 --> 00:15:45,344
You look great.
411
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:47,310
♪♪
412
00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:49,344
♪♪
413
00:15:49,379 --> 00:15:50,931
♪ Let me hear you go
414
00:15:50,965 --> 00:15:53,034
♪ Let me hear you go
415
00:15:53,068 --> 00:15:55,034
♪ Let me hear you go
416
00:15:55,068 --> 00:15:56,827
♪ Let me hear you go
417
00:15:56,862 --> 00:15:58,517
♪ Let me hear you go
418
00:15:58,551 --> 00:16:00,620
♪ Let me hear you go
419
00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:03,172
♪ Let me hear you go
420
00:16:03,206 --> 00:16:04,758
♪ Let me hear you go
421
00:16:04,793 --> 00:16:06,827
♪ Let me hear you go
422
00:16:06,862 --> 00:16:09,931
[loud queef]
423
00:16:09,965 --> 00:16:12,275
[music continues,
rhythmic queefing]
424
00:16:12,310 --> 00:16:13,448
♪ Let me hear you... ♪
425
00:16:13,482 --> 00:16:15,448
Oh, oh, oh, no.
426
00:16:15,482 --> 00:16:16,620
Aunt Sandra?
427
00:16:16,655 --> 00:16:18,896
Why are you entering
the house this way?Shh.
428
00:16:18,931 --> 00:16:20,586
I didn't want
to wake Grandma.
429
00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:23,965
Plus, I know you have weed.
[clicks tongue]
430
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,310
What happened
at the retreat?
431
00:16:25,344 --> 00:16:27,827
The Hudson police
raided the compound
432
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:30,482
and found 20 pounds
of butane hash oil.
433
00:16:30,517 --> 00:16:32,482
Sorry to hear that.
434
00:16:32,517 --> 00:16:34,586
It's fine.
435
00:16:35,724 --> 00:16:37,344
We'll all heal.
436
00:16:40,206 --> 00:16:41,310
Oof...
437
00:16:41,344 --> 00:16:44,586
Do you wanna turn on
a lamp or something?
438
00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:47,068
I mean, it's like
"The Bell Jar"
439
00:16:47,103 --> 00:16:48,448
up in here, honey.
440
00:16:50,586 --> 00:16:52,793
It's a long story,
Aunt Sandra.
441
00:16:52,827 --> 00:16:55,310
I got time.
442
00:16:55,344 --> 00:16:57,689
♪♪
443
00:16:57,724 --> 00:16:59,620
And I wasn't just pissed
that he knew my exact race.
444
00:16:59,655 --> 00:17:01,172
I was more pissed off
that I gave him
445
00:17:01,206 --> 00:17:02,862
all the sounds for free.
446
00:17:04,689 --> 00:17:06,862
Nora...
[exhales]
447
00:17:06,896 --> 00:17:11,827
your compulsive desire
to please people
448
00:17:11,862 --> 00:17:13,931
is suffocating your spirit.
449
00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:19,482
What does that mean?
450
00:17:19,517 --> 00:17:21,517
I used to be like you,
451
00:17:21,551 --> 00:17:23,620
letting everyone
dictate my life.
452
00:17:23,655 --> 00:17:26,206
Did you know I used
to be a professor?
453
00:17:26,241 --> 00:17:28,551
Really?Of yoga.
454
00:17:28,586 --> 00:17:29,758
Okay.
455
00:17:29,793 --> 00:17:32,965
But my soul wasn't
tethered to my core, Nora.
456
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,034
But now I live according
to my rules.
457
00:17:36,068 --> 00:17:40,379
So go get
your queef money.
458
00:17:40,413 --> 00:17:44,655
And don't ever let anyone
say you're not enough.
459
00:17:46,241 --> 00:17:48,793
No one ever said that
I wasn't enough, but...
460
00:17:48,827 --> 00:17:50,793
Exactly.But...
461
00:17:50,827 --> 00:17:53,310
you're right
about the queef money.
462
00:17:53,344 --> 00:17:55,655
Mm, oh.
463
00:17:55,689 --> 00:17:57,482
[long queef]
Oh.
464
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,448
That was me.That was you.
465
00:18:03,482 --> 00:18:05,413
♪♪
466
00:18:06,827 --> 00:18:08,482
[loud queefing]
467
00:18:08,517 --> 00:18:11,448
[music, rhythmic queefing]
468
00:18:17,448 --> 00:18:20,206
[soft music playing]
469
00:18:20,241 --> 00:18:21,793
That-- that was great.
470
00:18:21,827 --> 00:18:24,793
I fuckin' love the sound
of your smile, bro.
471
00:18:24,827 --> 00:18:26,379
Go again.
472
00:18:26,413 --> 00:18:27,896
[soft music continues]
473
00:18:27,931 --> 00:18:29,620
[loud queefing]
474
00:18:29,655 --> 00:18:31,793
Rat Lung!
Where is he?!
475
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:35,379
Hey!
[queefs]
476
00:18:35,413 --> 00:18:36,689
Sound familiar?
477
00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:39,931
Mel, what is your Asian-American
friend doing here?
478
00:18:39,965 --> 00:18:41,206
Did you forget your phone?
479
00:18:41,241 --> 00:18:42,896
You used me.
480
00:18:42,931 --> 00:18:44,379
And I am the star
of that track.
481
00:18:44,413 --> 00:18:46,448
[chuckling]
Star?
482
00:18:46,482 --> 00:18:48,034
Track?Yeah.
483
00:18:48,068 --> 00:18:49,517
[Rat Lung laughing]
484
00:18:49,551 --> 00:18:51,620
Nora, chill out, girl.
485
00:18:51,655 --> 00:18:54,827
No, I'm done being chill.
I am done being chill.
486
00:18:54,862 --> 00:18:56,000
Because you know what?
487
00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:58,034
I gave you my heart
and soul in there.
488
00:18:58,068 --> 00:18:59,620
I want royalties.
489
00:18:59,655 --> 00:19:02,103
And I'm not gonna leave
until I get that queef money.
490
00:19:02,137 --> 00:19:04,241
[chuckles]
491
00:19:04,275 --> 00:19:05,793
You serious?
492
00:19:05,827 --> 00:19:07,000
If-- if possible.
493
00:19:09,517 --> 00:19:10,793
Okay.
494
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:15,965
Marcus, do the maths.Yeah! Do the maths, Marcus.
495
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,310
[Velcro ripping]Okay.
496
00:19:19,172 --> 00:19:21,103
[indistinct muttering]
497
00:19:24,724 --> 00:19:26,655
Here you go.
[clears throat]
498
00:19:26,689 --> 00:19:29,689
$20.10?
That's it?
499
00:19:29,724 --> 00:19:32,034
You don't make any money
off of SoundCloud.
500
00:19:32,068 --> 00:19:33,206
[Marcus laughs]
501
00:19:33,241 --> 00:19:34,586
My parents are just
like super wealthy.
502
00:19:34,620 --> 00:19:36,586
Yeah, music is
an unsustainable career.
503
00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:39,034
Well, at least maybe
take the track down.
504
00:19:39,068 --> 00:19:42,034
I'm sorry, honey.
I own that queef.
505
00:19:42,068 --> 00:19:43,275
We just paid you for it.
506
00:19:43,310 --> 00:19:45,482
Fine! But I'll leave you
with this.
507
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:47,448
[silence]
508
00:19:49,862 --> 00:19:52,413
Is she okay?
Does she normally do this?
509
00:19:52,448 --> 00:19:54,000
Damn it! I lost it!
510
00:19:56,241 --> 00:19:57,758
Thanks for the lentil loaf.Thank you.
511
00:19:57,793 --> 00:19:59,758
Hey, come out
to Provo, Utah.
512
00:19:59,793 --> 00:20:01,034
And then we can do
a cleanse.
513
00:20:01,068 --> 00:20:02,586
Grandma's definitely
gonna eat it.
514
00:20:02,620 --> 00:20:04,137
All right.Bye, I miss ya already.
515
00:20:04,172 --> 00:20:05,586
Bye.
516
00:20:05,620 --> 00:20:06,655
Are you gonna eat that?
517
00:20:07,758 --> 00:20:10,241
Hey. Put it
in the garbage.
518
00:20:11,689 --> 00:20:13,689
[Melanie]
Nora.
519
00:20:13,724 --> 00:20:16,413
Hey.What are you doing here?
520
00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:17,724
I broke up with Rat Lung.
521
00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,689
That Eleanor Roosevelt
tattoo on his neck?
522
00:20:19,724 --> 00:20:22,034
That was his grandpa.Eww.
523
00:20:22,068 --> 00:20:25,137
Anyway, um,
I got something for you.
524
00:20:27,448 --> 00:20:28,586
A hard drive?
525
00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:30,275
I stole his samples.
526
00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:32,586
Now he can't use
your queefy sounds.
527
00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:33,758
No one can.
528
00:20:33,793 --> 00:20:35,275
Oh, my God, thank you.
529
00:20:35,310 --> 00:20:37,448
No one--
no one's ever done...
530
00:20:37,482 --> 00:20:40,068
something of this like,
specifically this
531
00:20:40,103 --> 00:20:41,586
for-- for me before.
532
00:20:41,620 --> 00:20:43,241
Yeah, I hope not.
533
00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:45,931
Ooh!
534
00:20:47,172 --> 00:20:49,344
You need better taste
in men, girl.
535
00:20:49,379 --> 00:20:51,000
Ugh, yeah.
536
00:20:51,034 --> 00:20:53,000
Ya think?Are you hungry?
537
00:20:53,034 --> 00:20:55,482
Jug, Rat Lung.
Hell yeah!
538
00:20:55,517 --> 00:20:57,344
I'm starving.
539
00:20:57,379 --> 00:20:59,896
We had like breakup sex
that was intense.
540
00:20:59,931 --> 00:21:01,344
[squawking]
541
00:21:01,379 --> 00:21:03,310
Yeah, I know.
You accidentally FaceTimed me.
542
00:21:03,344 --> 00:21:05,137
Does your grandma cook?Grandma!
543
00:21:05,172 --> 00:21:06,655
By the way,
where's my trumpet?
544
00:21:06,689 --> 00:21:07,965
Oh, we're gonna
have to clean that.
545
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,034
What do you mean,
we're gonna have to...?
546
00:21:10,068 --> 00:21:13,000
♪♪
547
00:21:36,103 --> 00:21:38,034
[man]
Who the [bleep] is Awkwafina?
36308
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
