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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,206 --> 00:00:10,103 [chorus singing] 2 00:00:15,068 --> 00:00:16,310 Where am I? 3 00:00:16,344 --> 00:00:17,758 [God] Hi, Nora, you're dead. 4 00:00:17,793 --> 00:00:19,965 What?[God] Yeah. 5 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,551 Who is that? Who's that? Laverne Cox? Who's that? 6 00:00:22,586 --> 00:00:23,862 [God] No, I get that a lot. 7 00:00:23,896 --> 00:00:25,482 It's God. You're in heaven. 8 00:00:25,517 --> 00:00:27,758 I'm in heaven. 9 00:00:27,793 --> 00:00:29,724 That's tight! 10 00:00:29,758 --> 00:00:31,689 I mean, it's cool that I'm in heaven. 11 00:00:31,724 --> 00:00:33,655 I'm just, um... 12 00:00:33,689 --> 00:00:36,965 I'm just really gonna miss my-- my grandma... 13 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,448 and my dad. 14 00:00:38,482 --> 00:00:39,655 [God] That's sweet. 15 00:00:39,689 --> 00:00:41,034 Did you visit them often? 16 00:00:41,068 --> 00:00:42,655 I lived with them. 17 00:00:42,689 --> 00:00:44,034 [God] You lived with them? 18 00:00:44,068 --> 00:00:46,034 Honey, you're almost 30. 19 00:00:46,068 --> 00:00:48,965 So what? I'm-- Are you judging me right now? 20 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,448 Like what--? 21 00:00:50,482 --> 00:00:52,137 We all have our own circumstances. 22 00:00:52,172 --> 00:00:54,793 [God] So like were you injured or in between jobs? 23 00:00:54,827 --> 00:00:56,586 What was the deal there? 24 00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:58,620 I was getting my PhD. I was on sabbatical. 25 00:00:58,655 --> 00:01:01,275 [God] Girl, I'm God. I know when you're lying. 26 00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:03,896 If you know I'm lying, then why-- why even ask? 27 00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:04,965 You know what I mean? 28 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,448 [God] It's obviously a test, Nora. 29 00:01:07,482 --> 00:01:09,793 Hmm, guess what else is a test. 30 00:01:09,827 --> 00:01:11,103 You being a bitch. 31 00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:12,310 [God] Excuse me? 32 00:01:12,344 --> 00:01:15,137 Did you just call God a bitch? 33 00:01:15,172 --> 00:01:17,103 Yo.I'm pretty sure you did. 34 00:01:17,137 --> 00:01:18,931 No, I didn't.I got playback, watch. 35 00:01:18,965 --> 00:01:20,068 [tape rewinding]Stop, stop, stop. 36 00:01:20,103 --> 00:01:21,586 Guess what else is a test. 37 00:01:21,620 --> 00:01:22,724 You being a bitch. 38 00:01:22,758 --> 00:01:24,310 [God] Okay, that's it. I'm done here. 39 00:01:24,344 --> 00:01:26,448 No, no, give me one more. 40 00:01:26,482 --> 00:01:27,620 [God, echoing] No... 41 00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:28,724 [Grandma] Nora? What? 42 00:01:28,758 --> 00:01:29,965 Nora?Grandma? 43 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,103 Nora![screaming] 44 00:01:31,137 --> 00:01:32,793 Nora!Jesus! 45 00:01:32,827 --> 00:01:35,275 Time to get up. Come downstairs. 46 00:01:35,310 --> 00:01:37,724 I just made some jook.Jook. 47 00:01:37,758 --> 00:01:41,896 Oh! Look at your room. It's such a mess. 48 00:01:41,931 --> 00:01:43,310 No, it's not. It's not that bad. 49 00:01:43,344 --> 00:01:44,517 It's like a possum lives here. 50 00:01:44,551 --> 00:01:46,310 No, they don't.And there's a Fruit Roll-Up 51 00:01:46,344 --> 00:01:48,965 stuck on your lampshade. 52 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,344 What are all these H Mart shopping baskets? 53 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:54,310 I'm... saving the environment. 54 00:01:54,344 --> 00:01:56,862 Reusable for groceries, laundry. 55 00:01:56,896 --> 00:01:57,965 That one's reusable for general. 56 00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,034 I just reuse that. 57 00:01:59,068 --> 00:02:00,862 You are a hoarder. 58 00:02:00,896 --> 00:02:02,724 What about your desk? 59 00:02:02,758 --> 00:02:04,551 How do you get any work done on your desk? 60 00:02:04,586 --> 00:02:06,068 What desk? 61 00:02:06,103 --> 00:02:07,586 And I am not a hoarder. 62 00:02:07,620 --> 00:02:09,517 [sighs] 63 00:02:09,551 --> 00:02:11,379 Nora, grow up. 64 00:02:11,413 --> 00:02:13,344 You're too old for this. 65 00:02:13,379 --> 00:02:15,068 Come on, throw some of this stuff away. 66 00:02:15,103 --> 00:02:16,413 No, not that one. 67 00:02:16,448 --> 00:02:18,896 Can you at least throw away this bag of trash? 68 00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:20,517 That, okay, fine. 69 00:02:23,103 --> 00:02:24,344 If you're gonna live at home, 70 00:02:24,379 --> 00:02:26,103 clean your room. 71 00:02:27,517 --> 00:02:29,758 Hoarder.I'm not a hoarder! 72 00:02:31,172 --> 00:02:32,620 I collect things. 73 00:02:32,655 --> 00:02:35,103 ♪♪ 74 00:02:35,137 --> 00:02:36,586 [Nora] Oh, shit! 75 00:02:36,620 --> 00:02:39,172 420, gang-gang! It's good-good. 76 00:02:39,206 --> 00:02:40,344 How you doing, Teddy? 77 00:02:40,379 --> 00:02:41,551 Hey, Nora. 78 00:02:41,586 --> 00:02:43,379 Man, your parents got you on trash duty, too? 79 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,793 What a suck fest. 80 00:02:44,827 --> 00:02:46,862 I'm like, can I get a off day? 81 00:02:46,896 --> 00:02:48,586 Aren't you like 27? 82 00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:50,241 You need help buying liquor?No. 83 00:02:50,275 --> 00:02:51,482 Oh.No, no. 84 00:02:51,517 --> 00:02:52,620 I'm taking my SATs next week. 85 00:02:52,655 --> 00:02:54,655 Oh, man. [chuckles] 86 00:02:54,689 --> 00:02:56,517 I hate the SATs. 87 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,172 Yeah, um, you know, 88 00:03:01,206 --> 00:03:02,620 they're pretty important, though. 89 00:03:02,655 --> 00:03:04,517 You know, if I get a good enough score, 90 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:06,206 I can get into a top college 91 00:03:06,241 --> 00:03:07,655 and go to law school 92 00:03:07,689 --> 00:03:10,482 and hopefully pursue my dream of being a sports attorney. 93 00:03:10,517 --> 00:03:12,551 [inhales, exhales] Yeah, see, you already know 94 00:03:12,586 --> 00:03:13,965 what you're gonna do when you grow up? 95 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,137 Of course. I don't wanna end up 96 00:03:15,172 --> 00:03:16,689 like one of those losers who just lives 97 00:03:16,724 --> 00:03:18,379 with their parents at home and floats through life 98 00:03:18,413 --> 00:03:19,517 like a townie log. 99 00:03:24,448 --> 00:03:26,068 [laughing] Cig burned it. 100 00:03:26,103 --> 00:03:28,172 'Cause that's the-- Do you dab? 101 00:03:28,206 --> 00:03:29,448 You into dab?No, no. 102 00:03:29,482 --> 00:03:30,896 It's a Teva. It's daytime. 103 00:03:30,931 --> 00:03:32,724 I'm fine, but thank you, Nora. 104 00:03:34,551 --> 00:03:36,379 [sighs] Sad. 105 00:03:37,482 --> 00:03:39,103 [coughing] 106 00:03:39,137 --> 00:03:42,068 ♪♪ 107 00:03:53,344 --> 00:03:56,103 Dad?What's up? 108 00:03:56,137 --> 00:03:57,965 Am I a townie log loser? 109 00:03:59,068 --> 00:04:01,586 No, you're not a loser. 110 00:04:01,620 --> 00:04:03,827 Sure, you still live at home. 111 00:04:03,862 --> 00:04:06,068 You got kicked out of the dental assistant training. 112 00:04:06,103 --> 00:04:08,620 But if you compare yourself to your cousin Edmund, 113 00:04:08,655 --> 00:04:11,103 who just bought an apartment complex, 114 00:04:11,137 --> 00:04:14,206 all cash... 115 00:04:14,241 --> 00:04:16,413 No, you're not a loser. 116 00:04:16,448 --> 00:04:19,068 Yeah, well, Edmund has a vestigial tail. 117 00:04:19,103 --> 00:04:23,310 Okay, so he's not winning the race of life either. 118 00:04:23,344 --> 00:04:25,862 I told you, we don't talk about Edmund's vestigial tail, all right? 119 00:04:25,896 --> 00:04:27,827 It's this long. Disgusting. 120 00:04:27,862 --> 00:04:29,482 It's disgusting. 121 00:04:29,517 --> 00:04:31,413 Shoot, I forgot to feed the turtle. 122 00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,586 Carmela, wake up, it's breakfast time? 123 00:04:36,034 --> 00:04:38,620 Nora, I wanna show you something. 124 00:04:38,655 --> 00:04:39,758 Yeah. 125 00:04:41,241 --> 00:04:43,758 Oh, what's-- What's that? 126 00:04:43,793 --> 00:04:46,034 This is a picture of my vagina 127 00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:48,413 after my hysterectomy.Okay. 128 00:04:48,448 --> 00:04:50,551 This is what happens when you get old. 129 00:04:50,586 --> 00:04:53,241 Good thing is that you still young. 130 00:04:53,275 --> 00:04:55,344 And more important, your vagina's still young. 131 00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:59,000 Right.You have your whole life ahead of you. 132 00:04:59,034 --> 00:05:02,448 I know you will live special life. 133 00:05:02,482 --> 00:05:05,068 [plastic crinkling, dramatic music playing] 134 00:05:05,103 --> 00:05:08,310 Oh, I got something stuck to my teeth. 135 00:05:08,344 --> 00:05:11,241 [dramatic music continues][scratching] 136 00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:15,827 You know what? It is, Grandma. 137 00:05:15,862 --> 00:05:17,103 I-- I-- You know what? 138 00:05:17,137 --> 00:05:20,068 I can't live a special life... 139 00:05:20,103 --> 00:05:22,310 here, right? 140 00:05:22,344 --> 00:05:24,758 I think-- I think I need to move out. 141 00:05:24,793 --> 00:05:26,275 Well, then move out.Yeah. 142 00:05:26,310 --> 00:05:28,620 You don't wanna end up like Esther Wong, 143 00:05:28,655 --> 00:05:31,758 sleeping in the same room as her 89-year-old parents. 144 00:05:31,793 --> 00:05:33,793 Jesus.It's like a Chinese version 145 00:05:33,827 --> 00:05:35,137 of "Willy Wonka."Right. 146 00:05:35,172 --> 00:05:36,275 You know what? I'm gonna do it. 147 00:05:36,310 --> 00:05:38,137 Thanks, Grandma. 148 00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:39,241 Hey, Dad? 149 00:05:39,275 --> 00:05:41,448 What's up, Princess? 150 00:05:41,482 --> 00:05:43,655 I just talked to Grandma. 151 00:05:43,689 --> 00:05:45,310 I think I'm gonna move out. 152 00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:48,448 Okay. Where you gonna live? 153 00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:51,551 I don't know yet, but Chenise 154 00:05:51,586 --> 00:05:52,827 just bought this big-ass apartment. 155 00:05:52,862 --> 00:05:54,068 Who? 156 00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:56,275 Chenise, my friend from high school. 157 00:05:56,310 --> 00:05:58,137 She's a badass lawyer. 158 00:05:58,172 --> 00:06:00,724 Nora, we are so proud of you. 159 00:06:00,758 --> 00:06:02,310 Thanks.I'm sad, 160 00:06:02,344 --> 00:06:04,448 but also happy. 161 00:06:04,482 --> 00:06:05,586 Me too. 162 00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:09,862 [speaking Chinese] 163 00:06:12,724 --> 00:06:13,862 What are you doing?Sorry. 164 00:06:13,896 --> 00:06:15,034 I just thought we'd have a moment. 165 00:06:15,068 --> 00:06:17,655 It's our mother tongue.Oh. 166 00:06:17,689 --> 00:06:20,206 ♪♪ 167 00:06:20,241 --> 00:06:22,793 What's up? What's up?What's up? Hi, babe. 168 00:06:22,827 --> 00:06:24,827 How are ya?Good, how are you? 169 00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:26,758 Good. Thanks for letting me crash.You're welcome. 170 00:06:26,793 --> 00:06:28,068 Here you go. Any time. 171 00:06:28,103 --> 00:06:29,137 Look, you can eat whatever you want in the fridge, 172 00:06:29,172 --> 00:06:30,620 but don't ever pick up my landline. 173 00:06:30,655 --> 00:06:32,517 And the second bedroom that I'm renovating, 174 00:06:32,551 --> 00:06:34,517 there's actually black mold under the floorboards, 175 00:06:34,551 --> 00:06:35,758 so like don't go in there.Oh, yeah. 176 00:06:35,793 --> 00:06:37,413 Okay, I won't go in there.Yeah, okay, cool. 177 00:06:37,448 --> 00:06:39,482 Yeah, what's up with this place, though? 178 00:06:39,517 --> 00:06:42,551 It smells like, uh, B.O. and tofu water. 179 00:06:42,586 --> 00:06:43,655 I know, it's amazing, right? 180 00:06:43,689 --> 00:06:45,862 Yeah, sure.Oh, okay, okay, okay. 181 00:06:45,896 --> 00:06:47,862 That's Corn. 182 00:06:47,896 --> 00:06:49,655 [whispers] Easy, easy, slow. 183 00:06:51,068 --> 00:06:52,275 [crowd exclaiming] 184 00:06:52,310 --> 00:06:53,448 [Nora] That's Corn? 185 00:06:53,482 --> 00:06:55,275 That's the guy you've been trying to get with? 186 00:06:55,310 --> 00:06:57,137 Yeah.[voice on phone] You have a ride request. 187 00:06:57,172 --> 00:06:59,482 Oh, look at that. I got a customer.Okay. 188 00:06:59,517 --> 00:07:01,586 Make that money!Yeah, okay. 189 00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:04,241 Wakanda.Don't do that. 190 00:07:04,275 --> 00:07:05,413 [car alarm chirps] 191 00:07:05,448 --> 00:07:07,413 ♪ We go to work work, work, work... ♪ 192 00:07:07,448 --> 00:07:09,241 I've always been into country. 193 00:07:09,275 --> 00:07:10,896 Love Miranda Lambert. 194 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,586 Think she's super talented. 195 00:07:12,620 --> 00:07:14,551 Celebrity threesomes. 196 00:07:14,586 --> 00:07:17,551 Mm, probably Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman. 197 00:07:17,586 --> 00:07:19,034 'Cause I've always wanted to be the tall one. 198 00:07:19,068 --> 00:07:21,034 [music, bell dinging] 199 00:07:21,068 --> 00:07:22,896 I had a full row of teeth 200 00:07:22,931 --> 00:07:26,862 behind a second full row of teeth. 201 00:07:26,896 --> 00:07:28,551 Bite into a piece of matzah, 202 00:07:28,586 --> 00:07:30,241 the whole thing would disintegrate, man. 203 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:33,172 My parents actually left me at the Grand Canyon. 204 00:07:33,206 --> 00:07:35,275 Kinda like Joe Dirt. I love Dana Carvey. 205 00:07:35,310 --> 00:07:37,896 [music, bell dings] 206 00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:40,862 What you got there, a bassoon? 207 00:07:40,896 --> 00:07:43,448 Um, it's a ukulele.Ah, yes. 208 00:07:43,482 --> 00:07:45,034 An "ook-oo-lele." 209 00:07:45,068 --> 00:07:46,206 Beautiful instrument. 210 00:07:46,241 --> 00:07:48,206 One of my favorite musicians actually is 211 00:07:48,241 --> 00:07:50,517 Israel Kamakawiwo'ole.Hmm. 212 00:07:50,551 --> 00:07:52,551 He's dead, but his music lives on. Beautiful body. 213 00:07:52,586 --> 00:07:54,034 Sorry, can you watch the road, please? 214 00:07:54,068 --> 00:07:56,103 Yeah, yeah, you got it. You got it. 215 00:07:56,137 --> 00:08:00,482 Yeah, I-- I too used to dabble in music 216 00:08:00,517 --> 00:08:01,724 back in high school. 217 00:08:01,758 --> 00:08:02,896 But they should've called it bi-school 218 00:08:02,931 --> 00:08:05,068 'cause I was bi as fuck back then. 219 00:08:05,103 --> 00:08:08,344 Bisexual. Um, vagina and penis. 220 00:08:08,379 --> 00:08:09,862 Sorry, do you mind going a little faster? 221 00:08:09,896 --> 00:08:11,275 It's just I'm gonna be late for this gig.Oh. 222 00:08:11,310 --> 00:08:12,965 Oh, cool, real gig, huh? 223 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,275 Real gig, wow. 224 00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:15,793 Well, it's an open mic. 225 00:08:15,827 --> 00:08:17,448 But that's how a lot of people get discovered. 226 00:08:17,482 --> 00:08:18,793 Hmm. 227 00:08:18,827 --> 00:08:21,034 I bet that's how they found Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. 228 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,931 Matter of fact, let me see if I still got his CD. 229 00:08:25,413 --> 00:08:26,896 [car horn blaring] 230 00:08:26,931 --> 00:08:28,275 [tires screech] 231 00:08:28,310 --> 00:08:30,172 Please pull over! You're scaring me and I'd like to get out! 232 00:08:30,206 --> 00:08:32,172 You wanna get out? Why? 233 00:08:32,206 --> 00:08:33,862 Pull over now or I'm calling the cops. 234 00:08:33,896 --> 00:08:35,482 All right, pulling over now. 235 00:08:35,517 --> 00:08:39,103 Oh! You should know you're a bad driver. 236 00:08:39,137 --> 00:08:40,655 Shouldn't we uplift each other? 237 00:08:40,689 --> 00:08:42,655 One star. 238 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,103 Have a good one. 239 00:08:44,137 --> 00:08:45,517 [bicycle bell ringing] 240 00:08:45,551 --> 00:08:47,724 Oh, holy shit! Oh, my God! 241 00:08:49,931 --> 00:08:52,241 [lighter flicks, inhaling] 242 00:08:52,275 --> 00:08:55,413 Can you believe that Commutez suspended me 243 00:08:55,448 --> 00:08:58,758 because I broke one white girl's collarbone? 244 00:08:58,793 --> 00:09:02,034 Meanwhile my rating drops down to a 2.0, 245 00:09:02,068 --> 00:09:05,137 which is a dope GPA, but a shit Commutez rating. 246 00:09:05,172 --> 00:09:07,586 Oh, yeah, listen, we need to find you a job. 247 00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:09,413 All right, all right, all right. 248 00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:11,034 All right, any ideas? 249 00:09:11,068 --> 00:09:12,310 Architecture. 250 00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:14,034 Mm, "artiteture." 251 00:09:14,068 --> 00:09:16,586 Um, the thing with that is I hate buildings 252 00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:19,379 and I hate the act of building. 253 00:09:19,413 --> 00:09:20,793 Plus, don't you need a degree for that? 254 00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:23,931 Okay, okay, okay. Something with less education. 255 00:09:23,965 --> 00:09:26,413 Okay, my cousin works at a convalescent home in Yonkers. 256 00:09:26,448 --> 00:09:27,965 Do you want me to see if they need an extra hand? 257 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,793 Yeah, nah, I can't do that again. 258 00:09:29,827 --> 00:09:32,586 I-- I freak out old people. I remind them of 'Nam. 259 00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:34,931 Okay, what else? What else? What else? 260 00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,275 [crying] 261 00:09:39,310 --> 00:09:40,965 [Nora sobbing] I can't do anything, Chenise? 262 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,586 Okay.I am gonna die alone 263 00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:46,620 sleeping with my grandparents, 264 00:09:46,655 --> 00:09:50,103 like "Willy Wonka and the Charlie Factory." 265 00:09:50,137 --> 00:09:53,482 Okay, that's nothing. Okay, shh, shh... 266 00:09:53,517 --> 00:09:54,793 [gasps] 267 00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:58,689 I wish I had purpose like you, you dumb bitch. 268 00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:00,275 You're a rich-ass lawyer 269 00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:01,862 and you look like Olivia Pope. 270 00:10:01,896 --> 00:10:03,241 I got nothing. 271 00:10:03,275 --> 00:10:04,517 Okay, okay. 272 00:10:04,551 --> 00:10:06,137 Thank you. 273 00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:07,793 It's gonna be okay. 274 00:10:09,310 --> 00:10:11,068 Don't light my hair on fire again. 275 00:10:11,103 --> 00:10:12,206 [sobbing] I won't. 276 00:10:14,103 --> 00:10:17,034 ♪♪ 277 00:10:22,034 --> 00:10:23,655 [scoffs] Great. 278 00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:26,724 [phone ringing] 279 00:10:26,758 --> 00:10:28,000 Chenise? 280 00:10:29,275 --> 00:10:32,310 Chenise![phone ringing] 281 00:10:32,344 --> 00:10:35,068 Chenise, your work is calling! 282 00:10:35,103 --> 00:10:37,000 [phone ringing]Chenise? 283 00:10:37,034 --> 00:10:39,689 [Chenise's voice] In the second bedroom that I'm renovating, 284 00:10:39,724 --> 00:10:40,758 like don't go in there. 285 00:10:40,793 --> 00:10:42,241 [Nora's voice] I won't go in there. 286 00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:43,724 [phone continues ringing] 287 00:10:46,241 --> 00:10:49,551 [creepy music playing][phone continues ringing] 288 00:10:49,586 --> 00:10:50,965 [answering machine beeps] 289 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,482 [man on phone] Hi there. 290 00:10:52,517 --> 00:10:55,241 I'm just calling to see if you're gonna be on tonight... 291 00:11:00,206 --> 00:11:03,103 [creepy music continues] 292 00:11:11,517 --> 00:11:12,655 What? 293 00:11:16,137 --> 00:11:18,965 "420CamChicks.com"? 294 00:11:21,689 --> 00:11:23,689 Ugh. 295 00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:25,034 Oh, my Go-- 296 00:11:25,068 --> 00:11:28,551 I helped that bitch study for the bar! 297 00:11:28,586 --> 00:11:31,517 ♪♪ 298 00:11:37,862 --> 00:11:39,724 Hey there, friend. 299 00:11:39,758 --> 00:11:41,448 You wearing a top hat? 300 00:11:44,206 --> 00:11:45,206 Hey, how was work today? 301 00:11:45,241 --> 00:11:46,310 It was good. 302 00:11:46,344 --> 00:11:47,620 Yeah, you got a big case, right? 303 00:11:47,655 --> 00:11:49,482 It's big.I actually heard about it. 304 00:11:49,517 --> 00:11:50,689 I heard about it. 305 00:11:50,724 --> 00:11:53,206 Was it called the State vs. Ganja Gyal 420?! 306 00:11:53,241 --> 00:11:54,586 No, no-no. It's not what you think. 307 00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:56,206 This is exactly what I think. 308 00:11:56,241 --> 00:11:58,413 Here you are with a three-foot bong dressed as Lady Liberty. 309 00:11:58,448 --> 00:12:00,034 Okay, look, I didn't pass the bar. 310 00:12:00,068 --> 00:12:02,068 Okay, I didn't wanna tell you because I was embarrassed 311 00:12:02,103 --> 00:12:03,413 and I started camming to pay rent, 312 00:12:03,448 --> 00:12:05,068 and it took off. 313 00:12:05,103 --> 00:12:07,379 What were you doing all day? 314 00:12:07,413 --> 00:12:09,034 You know what? No. No, no! 315 00:12:09,068 --> 00:12:10,448 I don't even care that you were camming. 316 00:12:10,482 --> 00:12:13,103 All right? I lay my shit bare to you all the time. 317 00:12:13,137 --> 00:12:14,655 Well, you have a lot less shame than I do, Nora. 318 00:12:14,689 --> 00:12:16,793 Wow. Wow.Okay, well, I'm sorry. 319 00:12:16,827 --> 00:12:19,034 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Okay, that's not what I meant. 320 00:12:19,068 --> 00:12:21,620 Um, you know, you could cam, too. 321 00:12:21,655 --> 00:12:24,620 It pays really well. We could double-team. 322 00:12:24,655 --> 00:12:26,172 Yeah, we can double-team.Yeah. 323 00:12:26,206 --> 00:12:30,000 Yeah. You know what? I'm not mad. I'm not mad. 324 00:12:30,034 --> 00:12:31,275 I'm just-- I gotta go cool off. 325 00:12:31,310 --> 00:12:33,827 I'm gonna go to my room.What room? 326 00:12:33,862 --> 00:12:35,275 [sniffles] 327 00:12:36,931 --> 00:12:39,862 [cell phone ringing] 328 00:12:42,068 --> 00:12:45,034 Hi, Dora. It's me. Grandma. 329 00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:46,310 Hey, Grandma. 330 00:12:46,344 --> 00:12:47,551 You okay? 331 00:12:47,586 --> 00:12:49,448 Yeah. 332 00:12:49,482 --> 00:12:51,689 Oh, ba-ba, you can't fool me. 333 00:12:51,724 --> 00:12:53,965 I can tell you taking sad shit. 334 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,793 [scoffs] Come have dinner with us tonight. 335 00:12:56,827 --> 00:12:58,241 Make you feel better. 336 00:12:58,275 --> 00:13:00,965 Okay. Oh, good girl. 337 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,758 Now lift up that camera. 338 00:13:02,793 --> 00:13:04,517 I can see your pubic patch. 339 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,931 Disgusting. Sorry. 340 00:13:06,965 --> 00:13:09,827 ♪♪ 341 00:13:11,793 --> 00:13:13,655 Now, we were hoping for evaluation 342 00:13:13,689 --> 00:13:16,586 at 60 mil, but one VC actually valued I set up 343 00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:19,689 to a hundred, so I really saw the potential 344 00:13:19,724 --> 00:13:22,172 in our app to get rid of homeless people. 345 00:13:22,206 --> 00:13:24,896 Mm, yeah, homeless. 346 00:13:24,931 --> 00:13:26,448 Gross.Yeah. 347 00:13:26,482 --> 00:13:29,034 You didn't tell me Edmund was coming to dinner, Grandma. 348 00:13:29,068 --> 00:13:30,482 Ah, isn't it great? 349 00:13:30,517 --> 00:13:33,793 Your cousin in town from San Francisco. 350 00:13:33,827 --> 00:13:35,172 Actually, it's Palo Alto. 351 00:13:35,206 --> 00:13:38,448 That's where most of the tech industry is now. 352 00:13:38,482 --> 00:13:40,241 Yeah, sure. Sure. 353 00:13:40,275 --> 00:13:42,379 Yeah, I only go to San Francisco 354 00:13:42,413 --> 00:13:45,103 to get my Tesla serviced. 355 00:13:45,137 --> 00:13:46,758 Yeah, more like his testes serviced. 356 00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:48,000 [laughing] 357 00:13:49,758 --> 00:13:51,896 [Wally] You know, Nora here's moving out. 358 00:13:51,931 --> 00:13:53,896 She's starting her own career. 359 00:13:53,931 --> 00:13:55,689 Oh, yeah? How's that going? 360 00:13:55,724 --> 00:13:58,310 It's going super dope, super dope, super dope. 361 00:13:58,344 --> 00:14:01,862 Uh, got temporarily fired from Commutez. 362 00:14:01,896 --> 00:14:04,034 Yeah.What? Where does this Commutez live? 363 00:14:04,068 --> 00:14:05,724 I'm gonna eat her ass. 364 00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:09,034 Grandma, it's "beat" her ass. 365 00:14:09,068 --> 00:14:10,172 Yeah.Hey. 366 00:14:10,206 --> 00:14:13,689 Maybe Edmund can get you a job. Huh? 367 00:14:13,724 --> 00:14:15,034 What do you say, bro? 368 00:14:15,068 --> 00:14:17,379 Uh, well, Uncle Wally, 369 00:14:17,413 --> 00:14:20,896 it's kinda hard to get a job in tech. 370 00:14:20,931 --> 00:14:23,034 Most of my colleagues went to Ivy League schools. 371 00:14:23,068 --> 00:14:24,655 Most have advanced degrees. 372 00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:29,448 And Nora has a certificate from ITT Tech? 373 00:14:29,482 --> 00:14:31,620 Oh, she loves computers. 374 00:14:31,655 --> 00:14:34,034 Maybe she work for Apple store. 375 00:14:34,068 --> 00:14:36,689 Yeah, more like the Microsoft store. 376 00:14:36,724 --> 00:14:39,310 [laughing] 377 00:14:40,689 --> 00:14:43,896 Bill Gates sucks.Yeah. 378 00:14:43,931 --> 00:14:45,482 You know, actually, Edmund, I just got offered 379 00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:47,034 a really cool job in tech. 380 00:14:47,068 --> 00:14:50,241 Really cool, solid pay, good benefits, yeah. 381 00:14:50,275 --> 00:14:51,586 What?I get Delta Dental. 382 00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:52,896 Really?Yeah. 383 00:14:52,931 --> 00:14:55,689 Oh, you see? My girl got special job. 384 00:14:55,724 --> 00:14:56,931 Thanks, Grandma. 385 00:14:56,965 --> 00:14:58,482 Princess, I'm so proud of you... 386 00:14:58,517 --> 00:15:00,034 Thanks, Dad....if that's true. 387 00:15:00,068 --> 00:15:01,172 It's true. 388 00:15:01,206 --> 00:15:03,551 What's the start-up? 389 00:15:05,137 --> 00:15:07,068 Um... [clears throat] 390 00:15:07,103 --> 00:15:09,275 [Chenise] Nora, we got 200 guys 391 00:15:09,310 --> 00:15:10,344 waiting to go live. 392 00:15:10,379 --> 00:15:12,275 We're gonna make bank. 393 00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:13,689 They've been asking me to double-team 394 00:15:13,724 --> 00:15:15,517 with an Asian dragon lady for weeks. 395 00:15:15,551 --> 00:15:17,310 You know that a dragon lady 396 00:15:17,344 --> 00:15:19,517 is different than an actual dragon, right? 397 00:15:21,137 --> 00:15:22,965 They're filling up. We gotta move. 398 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,655 Oh, no, no. You know what? 399 00:15:24,689 --> 00:15:26,482 No, I can't. I can't do this. 400 00:15:26,517 --> 00:15:29,275 And we're live. [rap music playing] 401 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,068 Yeah. 402 00:15:33,103 --> 00:15:35,034 This how I dance. 403 00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:37,344 That's how I dance. 404 00:15:37,379 --> 00:15:40,379 At home, alone. 405 00:15:40,413 --> 00:15:42,517 I don't know how, but I think they're liking it. 406 00:15:42,551 --> 00:15:45,000 Guy from Tasmania just donated a big coin. 407 00:15:45,034 --> 00:15:46,482 Really?Yeah. 408 00:15:46,517 --> 00:15:49,517 Whoa, I'm gonna get that Bazos money. 409 00:15:49,551 --> 00:15:51,137 Yeah, I'm gonna back up the truck. 410 00:15:51,172 --> 00:15:55,517 Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. 411 00:15:56,862 --> 00:15:58,586 Oh, you're lit.I'm lit. 412 00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:00,482 No, no, you're on fire.I'm on fire. 413 00:16:00,517 --> 00:16:01,896 Your tail!What?! 414 00:16:01,931 --> 00:16:04,379 Turn around!Oh! I'm on fire! 415 00:16:04,413 --> 00:16:05,965 Whoa, Chenise! Get it out! 416 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,413 Sorry! I'm sorry! [screams]Get it out! 417 00:16:10,620 --> 00:16:12,551 [footsteps approaching] 418 00:16:14,275 --> 00:16:15,965 [knocking on window] Ma'am. 419 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,482 Ma'am, wake up! 420 00:16:18,517 --> 00:16:20,000 Ma'am.Oh. 421 00:16:20,034 --> 00:16:21,551 Lower your window, please. 422 00:16:23,137 --> 00:16:25,310 Lower your window. 423 00:16:25,344 --> 00:16:26,793 Lower your window, please. 424 00:16:27,931 --> 00:16:29,586 Ma'am...Was I speeding? 425 00:16:29,620 --> 00:16:31,241 Because I did not see that stop sign. 426 00:16:31,275 --> 00:16:34,000 No, you're being towed because the sign says "no parking." 427 00:16:35,965 --> 00:16:38,000 Says "parking anytime." 428 00:16:38,034 --> 00:16:40,034 That says "no parking anytime." 429 00:16:40,068 --> 00:16:41,620 Where do you see the "no"? 430 00:16:41,655 --> 00:16:43,068 On the sign! 431 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:45,482 It says "no parking anytime." 432 00:16:45,517 --> 00:16:47,862 I'm gonna be real with you, all right? 433 00:16:47,896 --> 00:16:49,482 I burned down my friend's house. 434 00:16:49,517 --> 00:16:52,068 It's a two-bedroom rental. 435 00:16:52,103 --> 00:16:55,586 It's beautiful and, um... 436 00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:58,310 I don't know where to go. I have nowhere to go. 437 00:16:58,344 --> 00:17:00,241 Ma'am, I'm sorry to hear that. 438 00:17:00,275 --> 00:17:02,379 But could you step out of the car, please? 439 00:17:03,724 --> 00:17:05,862 [sighs] I'm not wearing pants. 440 00:17:05,896 --> 00:17:07,034 What do you-- What? 441 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,965 I like to sleep with-- 442 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,724 just feeling the surface underneath. 443 00:17:10,758 --> 00:17:12,034 You gotta step outta the car. 444 00:17:12,068 --> 00:17:14,620 You're being towed.I'm just shy, you know? 445 00:17:14,655 --> 00:17:16,275 So just-- if you could just... 446 00:17:16,310 --> 00:17:18,034 Oh, absolutely. 447 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,172 [engine starts] 448 00:17:22,551 --> 00:17:24,206 [metal grinding]Fuck! 449 00:17:24,241 --> 00:17:26,379 [grinding continues] 450 00:17:28,344 --> 00:17:30,827 What is that?That's a boot. 451 00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:36,482 Ohh! 452 00:17:38,586 --> 00:17:40,586 Nope, not today. 453 00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:42,379 Can I ride with you?No! 454 00:17:42,413 --> 00:17:44,103 Do you have pants? 455 00:17:44,137 --> 00:17:46,620 [sad music playing] 456 00:17:48,103 --> 00:17:50,620 No! What am I gonna do for work? 457 00:17:50,655 --> 00:17:52,172 Cory Underwood! 458 00:17:53,689 --> 00:17:54,965 [sobbing] I love you! 459 00:17:59,413 --> 00:18:00,827 Yeah. 460 00:18:02,724 --> 00:18:03,896 Hi, Dad. 461 00:18:03,931 --> 00:18:06,862 ♪♪ 462 00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:24,862 Why didn't you just come home? 463 00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:29,068 I don't know. My dignity? 464 00:18:29,103 --> 00:18:31,275 So you started living in your car? 465 00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:34,586 I-- I wanted to prove that I could do it on my own. 466 00:18:34,620 --> 00:18:36,206 You know that your mother was in labor 467 00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:38,551 for like 37 hours? 468 00:18:38,586 --> 00:18:41,827 You clung onto her uterus like The Thing. 469 00:18:41,862 --> 00:18:44,965 It was so gross, man, I threw up on the nurse. 470 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,896 Eww.You know, the baby comes out, it's not all clean. 471 00:18:47,931 --> 00:18:49,379 There's all this stuff all over it. 472 00:18:49,413 --> 00:18:50,862 It looks like the inside of a Pop-Tart. 473 00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:53,827 And then she comes up to me, "Do you wanna cut the cord, sir?" 474 00:18:53,862 --> 00:18:55,482 And I said, "Holy shit. 475 00:18:55,517 --> 00:18:57,275 "No, I don't wanna cut the fucking cord. 476 00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:58,379 You cut the fucking cord." 477 00:18:58,413 --> 00:19:01,586 Is there a point? Is this going somewhere? 478 00:19:01,620 --> 00:19:06,448 You know what? It's a few years later, right? 479 00:19:06,482 --> 00:19:08,344 And you're still hanging on. 480 00:19:08,379 --> 00:19:11,758 Sometimes you-- you make a big move 481 00:19:11,793 --> 00:19:13,379 because you think you're supposed to. 482 00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:15,034 And sometimes you make a big move 483 00:19:15,068 --> 00:19:17,827 because you're really ready to make a big move. 484 00:19:17,862 --> 00:19:20,793 But... you know. 485 00:19:22,689 --> 00:19:24,965 I'm always here. 486 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,551 Thanks, Dad. 487 00:19:29,275 --> 00:19:30,931 Because if, you know, if you did have 488 00:19:30,965 --> 00:19:32,310 that 500 to get my car out, that'd be... 489 00:19:32,344 --> 00:19:34,103 Abso-fucking-lutely not.That's all right. 490 00:19:34,137 --> 00:19:35,931 That's all right.Let's go. 491 00:19:38,068 --> 00:19:40,241 Hey, Dad and Grandma, come on in to the new room! 492 00:19:40,275 --> 00:19:41,413 [Wally] Holy shit! 493 00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:44,310 [laughing] What happened here?Wow! 494 00:19:44,344 --> 00:19:46,275 I can see the floor. 495 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,827 We got a blue carpet and everything. Who knew? 496 00:19:48,862 --> 00:19:51,068 You knew it was blue. You knew it was blue, yeah. 497 00:19:51,103 --> 00:19:52,896 This is impressive, though. 498 00:19:52,931 --> 00:19:54,758 How many bags of like stuff did you throw out? 499 00:19:54,793 --> 00:19:56,724 Turns out I didn't need to move out. 500 00:19:56,758 --> 00:19:59,413 I just needed to clean up a little bit. 501 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:00,724 And yes, I was a hoarder. 502 00:20:00,758 --> 00:20:01,896 I admit that. 503 00:20:01,931 --> 00:20:03,034 I looked myself in the mirror 504 00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:04,068 and I confronted it. 505 00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:05,586 Well, good for you. 506 00:20:05,620 --> 00:20:08,034 I mean, I'm telling ya, I support you 1,000%. 507 00:20:08,068 --> 00:20:10,241 Guess what I saved of the records, Dad. 508 00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:12,413 Actually, it was in my keep pile.What is it? 509 00:20:14,206 --> 00:20:16,034 My Israel Kamakawiwo'ole C-- 510 00:20:16,068 --> 00:20:17,862 My Israel Kamakawiwo'ole CD! 511 00:20:17,896 --> 00:20:19,896 Thanks, Ma. I've been looking for that. 512 00:20:19,931 --> 00:20:21,172 [laughs]Excellent. 513 00:20:21,206 --> 00:20:22,482 You can have it. You can have it. 514 00:20:22,517 --> 00:20:24,862 I am so proud of you. 515 00:20:24,896 --> 00:20:26,310 Thanks, Grandma. 516 00:20:26,344 --> 00:20:27,655 Are you hungry? 517 00:20:27,689 --> 00:20:30,827 I made some mapo doufu.Oh, my favorite. 518 00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:32,103 Um, I'm good. 519 00:20:32,137 --> 00:20:34,827 I'm gonna stay in my new decluttered room. 520 00:20:34,862 --> 00:20:36,724 You know, Marie Kondo my place a little bit. 521 00:20:36,758 --> 00:20:39,655 Just hang out. Yeah. It's gonna be good. 522 00:20:39,689 --> 00:20:41,620 Okay.Oh. 523 00:20:42,827 --> 00:20:43,896 Thanks, Dad. 524 00:20:43,931 --> 00:20:46,241 ♪♪ 525 00:20:46,275 --> 00:20:47,586 I think those are my sheets. 526 00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:49,896 I can't stand Marie Kondo.Oh, that's right. 527 00:20:49,931 --> 00:20:52,827 [man sings in foreign language] 528 00:20:56,034 --> 00:20:57,965 Oh, yeah. Oh. 529 00:20:59,586 --> 00:21:01,448 [grunting] I will never leave you. 530 00:21:01,482 --> 00:21:04,689 I love you. 531 00:21:04,724 --> 00:21:07,655 ♪♪ 532 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,551 [man] Who the [bleep] is Awkwafina? 36801

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