Original subtitles

Well, I'm off. It took me eight years, but I finally got a paid vacation out of

Joe. Oh, what are you going to do?

I'm going on a traveling murder mystery weekend.

Oh, I've heard of those. That's where you go on a train trip and then somebody

pretends to get killed and you have to figure out who the murderer is.

Cochran, are you sure you want to be cooped up with a bunch of people in a

train for that long?

Oh, of course not. I would never do anything that cheesy.

This one's on a bus.

I think it's going to be very exciting. At any moment, the person next to you

can clutch his chest and keel over. Yeah, just make sure he doesn't clutch

your chest and keel over.

I think you're both jealous.

I'm going to have the time of my life. This is a first-class operation with a

very sophisticated clientele.

Oh, that's my book.

Thank you very much for coming in, Mr... Doe.

So, when do I start?

Well, as we explained, it's just a temp job. We have your resume, so we'll call

you. That sounds like a kiss-off.

No, no, no. We really will call you.

Yeah, yeah, right.

What do you think? Well, he's the best one yet.

Yeah, one thing that kind of bothered me about his resume, I'm okay with the

overturned homicide conviction.

I just kind of wish that it hadn't been his last boss.

Look, listen, he'd only be working for us for a few days. It's not like we're

replacing Fay.

Hi, I'm Shannon Carson. I'm here about the job.

Oh, well, now we just have to replace Fang.

Taxi? Hey, taxi anyone?

You, cab.

Hey, buddy, you got a buck?

Them shuttles killing my business.

What does it have that my cab doesn't?

Heat, heat belts, brakes.

I hear it seldom catches fire.

Sure. Everybody wants heat. Nobody wants fire.

Who am I kidding?

Thanks to that damn shuttle.

I'm going broke. I need a second job.

Well, I mean, I can't promise anything, but there might be an opening down at

the department store. I could put in a word with my boss, Mr. Berkeley.

Really? You think he could swing it? I mean, that would be so great.

Well, now, only minimum wage.

Minimum wage.

Wow.

Finally have a little mad money.

Thanks very much for coming in, Shannon. Let me just ask you something. If we

were to hire you, would you be available to start tomorrow?

Oh, yes.

Great. Okay.

We'll let you know. Thanks.

Well, that's it. It's either Shannon or the man formerly known as inmate number

72144.

I think it's a no-brainer. Oh, absolutely.

We go with the convict.

Yeah, right. Hey, Joey, I'm serious.

I cannot spend three days behind the counter with Shannon. See, I know me.

I'll never get any work done. I'll be so distracted.

Every time she walks by, I'll be undressing her with my hands.

Just hold it for one minute.

You look me in the eye and tell me that you cannot keep your hormones under

control for three days.

You're right. We go with a convict.

Who's going with a convict?

Casey?

Well, maybe she can hang on to this one.

No, no, no.

It's the guy who we're going to hire to replace Faye because Glanzilla over here

thinks it would be too distracting to hire an attractive, qualified woman who

applied for the job.

Wait a minute.

You mean to tell me that you're not going to hire her because she's

attractive?

The poor woman, she's trying to make a living, and you won't let her because he

can't see past her looks? You know what?

That is just wrong.

Joe, I forgot to give you my references.

Oh, you know what?

It won't be necessary. You're hired.

Great. Thank you.

Then I'll see you tomorrow.

Goodbye, Shannon.

Shannon?

You didn't tell me she was a... Shannon.

Excuse me, Brian.

Could you come and help me with something, please?

Okay.

Do I file the passenger manifest by flight number or by date?

By date.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. Oh, there's more?

Yeah, I'm a little confused about your computer system.

Type in reservation.

Hit enter.

The screen goes blank.

Did you see what I'm doing wrong? Yeah, it's really quite simple.

Before you hit enter...

Thanks for your help. Uh-huh.

If you need me, I'll be in Helen's freezer.

Joe, where would you like me to file these FAA reports?

Right there, top drawing line.

It's stuck.

No, it's not stuck.

It just needs a little bit of, uh... Muscle.

Well, it's stuck.

Here, let me try again.

I'm so sorry.

It's no problem. It's my fault.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

I... This is crazy. I'm married. I can't do this. Right.

Right.

You want me to finish filing?

No.

Joe! Joe!

What happened?

I don't know. I guess you had one of your dreams about falling off the bed.

thank you enough for getting me a job at your store.

I'm gonna be the best stock boy that store has ever had.

Of course, they tell me I'll be the oldest, too, but... I'm down with the

kids.

Come on, let's get to work. Don't you relax. What's the rush?

Well, it's my first day.

Mr. Berkeley, you know, he said specifically that the stock boys have to

be there 9 a.m. sharp.

Mr. Berkeley, Mr. Berkeley.

Let me tell you about our employee philosophy we have down at Henley's.

Screw it!

As a matter of fact, we don't even have to be there until 10 o'clock because my

friend Peggy in gift wrap, she punches us all in.

Oh, well, screw it is a fine philosophy.

It's my first day.

I'd like to make a good impression, so I thought I'd, you know, show up.

Caught on a button.

Uh-huh.

Could you help me, please?

I hate when this happens. You know, this is the problem with having long hair.

You know, one time I got it caught in a necklace.

I had to cut a whole bunch off.

It took like six months to go back.

How's it going?

lately, there's your muffin.

Let me ask you something.

When you were married to Stuart, did you ever have a dream about him and another

woman? No, but he had dreams about me and another woman.

So, uh, why you ask?

Sounds silly to even say this, but last night, I dreamed that Joe was kissing

his new temp.

Big deal. They hired a woman.

So, you do think I'm overreacting?

Yes. There is no woman in the world that could come between you and Joe.

You know, unless, of course, you look like that.

Oh, yeah.

Also, call the fuel guy. Tell him he's got to make his delivery by 10 o'clock

tomorrow morning.

might like to know that.

Helen, is everything all right? Yes, yes, it's fine. Please, please, as you

were. You know, I think I'll go pick up those office supplies now. Okay, okay.

Take your time. Faye always does.

All right, well, um,

I guess I'll just go back because my break's over and there's no use in

hanging around here because, well, you know, my break is over. Helen, wait a

minute.

You've been acting really weird the last couple of days. Me?

Weird? Well,

you might say that, but I've been picking up a really weird vibe ever

since Shannon got here. She's not making you uncomfortable, is she?

Me?

Uncomfortable?

Besides, I'm the one that told you to hire her in the first place. Well,

that's right. It's true. But I just want you to know that it would be ridiculous

if...

Boy, you work hard.

Who, me?

Yeah, you fly the planes, you take care of the passengers, run the business.

I mean, that's pretty amazing.

Oh, come on, it's no big deal.

Yes, it is.

It's a very big deal.

Oh, okay.

It's a little big deal.

What's the matter?

You're so weird. I fell out of bed the other night. I must have wrenched my

neck.

Maybe I can help.

It's okay. It'll work itself out.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's better.

Good. Oh, that's much better.

Hey.

What are you doing?

I'm sorry. I must have misread the signal.

But, Santana, wait, wait.

I'm so embarrassed. Well, look, don't be. Let's just pretend this never

happened, okay?

You're very sweet for saying that.

Well.

You're very sweet, too.

You're very, very sweet.

I just had another falling-off-the-bed dream.

Morning, Casey.

Aren't you supposed to be at work?

Hey, Antonio. Pull up a donut.

Peggy faked a doctor's note for me. Looks like I've got a terrible flu.

Peggy.

I'm afraid Peggy...

No longer works for the company.

Huh?

Hey,

aren't you a little overdressed for a stock boy?

Perhaps, although I'm hardly overdressed for assistant director of personnel.

Management? Your management? How did you get to be management?

Well, unlike you and your slacker cohorts, I actually, um, I actually show

up and work.

marked for management.

I mean, those are Mr. Berkeley's exact words. Well, Don and I had a little

chat.

Don, you're on a first-name basis?

Everybody's on a first-name basis in the company's steam room.

You were in the steam room with Mr. Berkeley discussing my future? You

rotten ingrate! I got you that job!

Attitude, Missy, attitude.

Now, if I were you, uh...

I'd get over that little flu.

In a big hurry.

Say, by 9 a.m. sharp.

What was that?

Nothing.

Sir?

Is that the airports for your signature?

Mm-hmm.

I double-checked them. Everything's in order. You just have to sign right here.

You know, I still can't get over that's your signature.

Oh, that's it.

That's him.

Shannon's last day. Huh?

Yeah, right. Last day.

She's a good worker.

She's a great worker.

She's okay.

Oh, you got that right.

Maybe it's a good thing Shannon's last day. I mean, even I found her kind of

attractive. I mean, I mean, distracting.

No, no, no. What did you say?

Nothing. Nothing. Well, it's just that I had sort of a...

A little dream about it last night. Yeah, I wouldn't even call it a dream.

It was more like a little story that happened while I was sleeping.

Really? What kind of story?

Well, it was perfectly innocent. We were here in the office doing some paperwork,

and one thing led to another.

Before I knew it, Shannon was licking the inside of my throat with her tongue.

You owe me an apology, my friend.

I begged you not to hire her. And you went ahead and hired her. And now

because of you, I've got freezer burn.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You were right. I made a mistake.

I never should have hired her, okay? But she's going now. Thank God.

I don't think I could have spent five more minutes with her.

The corpse and her husband, the bus driver, had a big fight and stormed off

the bus, leaving the rest of us stranded at the side of the road.

I don't even want to tell you what happened when we ran out of food.

Might as well have been a soccer team in the Andes.

Well, we're really glad you're back. Really, really glad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, if you're so glad, next year give me a raise so that I can go to Branson

like a person.

Hey, Joe.

Can I talk to you a minute?

Sure. Helen, what is it?

Well, you know how we said that we wouldn't keep secrets from each other?

There's something I need to tell you.

A couple nights ago, I had a dream that you were having an affair with Shannon.

What? What? Me?

With Shannon?

Where would you get something like that? I don't know. You know, she's so pretty

and everything.

Well, I...

She's very nice, but she's nothing to get all worked up over.

I just wanted to tell you because I was jealous, and I don't want to be that

kind of person.

So the whole thing was stupid, and I want you to forgive me. Are you kidding

me? Come here.

Excuse me, Joe.

I got to run. I'm on the Aramath 6 o'clock to Boston, but I just wanted to

say goodbye and thank you for everything. Why are you on Aramath?

Because we canceled our 6 o'clock. There's no one on it.

Well, now there is. Joe, you take her.

I don't think that's a good idea, Helen.

Really, take her.

I don't want to.

Joe, I'm okay with this. It's fine.

Okay, fine.

Uh, come on.

Hey, Shannon, let's go.

You know, Joe, I...

the way back here.

It's for your own safety.

And mine.

It's a weight distribution thing. FAA regulations.

Well, I won't tell anyone if you don't.

You know, I've really enjoyed working with you these past few days.

Kind of hate to see it end.

Yeah, well, that's life.

Things begin, things end.

You live, you die. Bummer, but that's the way it is.

Well, I guess you just have to try to have fun while you're here.

What does that mean?

Shannon, please.

I'm a happily married man.

I'm a married man.

My wife doesn't understand me.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself. And, Shannon, you should be doing this.

Brian! Brian!

Yes? Brian! What?

Can I have a word with you in the back?

All right.

Hold my place.

So, what's up? Not you.

Oh, boy. Shannon!

Okay, Shannon, where were we?

Shannon?

Shannon. Shannon, wake up. We're here.

Shannon. Huh? Shannon, wake up. We're here. What?

We've landed in Boston.

Oh.

Okay. Um, thanks for the ride.

And, um, really nice working with you.

Is everything okay?

Oh, sure.

Of course.

Everything's...

Did you hear what happened?

They found some stolen merchandise in my locker. I got fired.

Yeah? Consider yourself lucky.

What does that mean?

My backup plan involved an accident in kitchenware.