Original subtitles

Hey, how was your flight?

Uh, just a typical run to Boston.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

What? Well, you asked me to pick up our monogrammed towels. I completely forgot.

Oh, that's okay. We can get them anytime.

I sure like that you care, though.

Um, you know, business is really slow today.

Really? How slow?

Real slow.

He's dead.

Oh, yeah, my business is so slow, I had to cancel flights for the rest of the

day. Oh, God, you're not just teasing me, are you? No.

If things keep on like this, I might have to fire Fay.

So,

if we both have time on our hands, what do you want to do?

My office, two minutes. I'll get rid of Roy.

Okay, Roy, what do you want?

Hmm.

Let's see.

What to have.

What to have.

How about the usual?

Uh, well, okay.

Okay, chili coming up. But you know, I have chili every morning.

I'm in the mood for something different, something exciting.

Yeah, so am I, so let's get on with this.

I know.

I'm going to go with the Nanturkey burger. You got it.

But you know, maybe what they say is true. Stick with your first choice.

I'll have the chili. Chili coming up.

Oh, Helen, what's the matter?

We're out of chili.

What the hell, what the hell?

Can I ask about the chicken?

Ten minutes ago, and you said, and I quote, It's just not a chicken day.

You know, I think I know what the problem is.

What?

I'm just not hungry. I had a big breakfast. Hey,

Helen? Oh, can it wait, Casey? Sure it can. You know that guy you're engaged

to? His name was Davis Lynch, right? Right, right, right. Okay, listen to

this. American financier Davis Lynch was released yesterday after spending 16

months under house arrest in Rangoon following a military coup.

I'm leaving the palatial 32-room seaside villa.

where he had been confined, Mr. Lynch said he hoped no American would ever

have to endure the barbaric treatment that he did.

He then bid a tearful farewell to his house staff, Lupar, Kupar, and Mupar.

Oh, gosh.

I've got to get to New York and see David. Why?

Because I never... Never what?

Nothing. I've already said too much.

Louis, I need a ticket on the next flight to New York. Well, what is the

rush? I don't know.

Davis Lynch was under house arrest in Rangoon. She's on her way to see him.

Helen. Helen, I was at the Western Union office wiring my parents the better part

of my weekly pay, which it is my honor to do.

And this cable came for you.

You hear?

Davis Lynch was under house arrest in Rangoon.

And Helen is on her way to New York to see him.

Oh.

Davis is on his way here to see me.

I've got to get Joe out of here before he comes.

Why? Because I can't let Joe know that I never... Never... What?

Never mind.

Joe? I'm finished.

I love this.

You, me, the middle of the day.

Joe, I need you to do something for me right away.

Ditto.

where the next time I go to Boston. No, no.

I need you to get out and get me those towels now.

Now? You want me to fly to Boston just to pick up some towels?

Just some towels?

They're not just some towels.

Those are monogrammed towels with initials on them. Our initials. Big

H, little J, little H.

Those towels are a symbol.

A symbol of what?

about, baby.

I have urges. Can't this wait for an hour? Half an hour.

You can take care of this in three minutes.

Joe, if you love me and you care about us and care about building our lives

together, you'll get on the damn plane and get me my towels.

Big H, little J. All right, all right, all right.

I'll go and get the towels, but I just want to tell you one thing.

Right now,

The little J is not very happy.

Where are you going?

Well, apparently I'm flying to Boston to pick up some monogrammed towels.

Well, I'm going to Boston. I'll pick them up for you.

I love you, man.

No, it's got to be Joe. He's my husband. Those monogrammed towels mean nothing

coming from you.

Why are you so full of hate?

What's with her? Davis Lynch was under house arrest in Rangoon.

And she was on her way to New York to see him. But now he's on his way here to

see her, so she's freaking out.

Why?

Because she never... She never what?

That's what we want to know.

Never what, Helen? Yeah, never what?

Yeah, what's going on? Yeah, yeah, what is it did you never?

Okay.

I never broke off my engagement with Davis. And he's on his way here to marry

me.

Wait, wait, wait. I don't get it, Helen. How could you still be engaged to Davis

if you're married to Joe?

Well, that's why they call it a problem.

So you never broke it off with him?

Yeah, I thought you did it that night that Joe proposed to you in that

elevator. That's a story you told us.

Well, I never told you the whole story.

Joe, we're here. Where?

Davis' floor.

I've got to go in and break the news to him.

Okay, okay, I'll go with you.

Joe, a girl doesn't bring her fiancé with her to dump her fiancé. I was

brought up better than that.

What am I going to say to him?

Well, how about all those who think they're marrying Helen take two steps

forward. Not so fast, Lynch.

Okay, all right, all right. Look, I really, really do feel for the guy. I'll

wait downstairs.

Thank you for being so sensitive.

Davis, dear Davis, sometimes in life things happen that we don't

plan.

I never meant to hurt you.

I'm sorry, but I can't marry you.

Davis to Davis, sometimes things happen in life that we don't plan. I never

meant to hurt you. I'm sorry, but I can't hear you.

Davis to Elvis.

Oh, I'm so glad you're here.

Davis to Elvis.

You know, when you were late, I actually started wondering if you were having

second thoughts about getting married.

Oh, no.

I'm getting married. Oh, of course we are.

But right now, it's time to start celebrating.

Davis.

Dear Davis, sometimes in life things happen. And thank God they do. You know,

for years, I was wondering if I'd ever find the right person.

To tell you the truth, my family was getting a little nervous. I mean, look

at me. I'm in my 30s. I'm still single.

Let's face it, there was talk.

Well, this ain't gonna shut them up.

Before yesterday, if somebody had asked me if I was happy, I'd have said, sure.

Being here with you now, I realize that my life began the moment you said you'd

marry me.

Champagne? You bet.

Helen, you might want to pace yourself a little bit.

Nah, I'd do this instead of television.

I'm here for you.

I want this to be the most memorable night of our lives. Oh, it's gonna be.

Um, Davis, dear, dear Davis,

sometimes in life things happen that, um,

we... Take five, boys.

Why don't you go wait in the library with the horn section?

Chris, you have to listen to me. There's something that I have to say. Well,

sure, honey. Oh, wait a second. Come here, come here, come here. It's almost

time.

All right, you see Times Square?

Well, keep your eyes on the electronic billboard.

Three, two, one.

Helen, you're my love.

You're my life.

You're my everything.

What do you think?

Davis.

Davis. Dear Davis.

Sometimes in life, things happen.

When my family found out that we were getting married, they insisted on

meeting you immediately.

Oh, good.

Helen, I would like you to meet my mother.

Hello.

I'm Mavis. Oh, you don't know how long I've waited for this day.

Welcome to our family.

Oh.

She's got a little surprise for you.

This ring is the one that my grandfather gave her when they got engaged.

She wants you to have this. No, no, no, no, I could not do that.

Okay. Now, Grammy, come on.

Come on, now.

Come on, we had a deal.

No, Davis, really, I can't. Yow!

had the most amazing idea. Why don't we get married right now?

What? What?

We're here. Why not?

My whole family's here. You couldn't swing a dead cat in this room without

hitting a judge.

What do you say?

What do I say?

A condition.

What are you talking about? What condition?

It's Faulkner's syndrome.

It's one of your really bad syndromes.

Trust me, you don't want to marry someone with Faulkner's syndrome, or as

we call it, the big F.

Helen, nothing on earth is going to stop me from marrying you. I'll get you the

best doctor in the country. No, see, I've already seen the top Faulkner man.

And he says that it's hopeless.

Helen, nothing is hopeless.

Not where love is concerned.

David, it's a call from your office.

Mom. They say it's urgent there.

Yes?

What?

Oh, my God. When did this happen?

I... Yes, of course.

Helen? This is going to sound crazy, but I have to leave for Burma immediately.

What? I have an enormous amount of money invested in Rangoon. And if I don't get

there right away, we could lose everything.

Oh, okay. Now, don't you worry. As soon as I get back, I'm going to get you a

specialist. We're going to beat this Faulkner's thing. I swear.

I don't even have time to pack. They're sending a chopper to take me to the

airport. I'll call you as soon as I get back.

Helen?

I love you.

Yeah, yeah.

Back off, Grammy.

And then he left, and I never saw him again.

So he doesn't know about Joe? Well, I was going to tell him when he got back,

but he never came back.

Well, he's going to be here any second. How are you going to bring the news to

him? I don't know.

I mean, do you have any idea how much this man loves me?

I mean, the thought of marrying me was probably the only thing that kept him

alive all those months.

My, don't we think a little bit of ourselves.

What am I going to do?

Well, I'm not just saying this because...

Joe's my brother, but, um... I really don't think you should marry this guy.

Hey, what's the matter with you people? You're missing the real point. I mean,

nobody has asked the important question here.

What happened to that big-ass ring?

Oh, right, the ring.

You kept it in the cash register?

Couldn't very well keep it.

I just figured out what I'm gonna do. What?

I'm gonna get the hell out of here.

happened to you in the paper. Are you all right?

It was really terrible. I wasn't free to leave. I wasn't allowed outside contact.

And for the last three months, I think the chef was just going through the

motions.

Hey, Packard.

Nice to see you.

How's your brother?

Great. He's married now.

to talk in private. There's so much I have to tell you. There's so much I have

to tell you.

You might want to let her go first.

Well, it's been so long since I've seen you, Davis.

I don't know where to begin.

Well, I do.

You're even more beautiful than I remember.

Oh, Davis. Oh, you poor thing.

One second, word. our engagement party, and the next I disappear off the face of

the earth. Oh, hey, you were captured in a military coup and held prisoner for 16

months in a foreign country.

It happens.

It was killing me to think that you didn't know where I was. It must have

been hell for you.

Well, it was hell-ish.

What'd she say? What'd she say?

It was hell-ish. What was it? It was hell-ish. What? It was hell-ish. Hey.

She said it was hell-ish.

What's hellish?

Uh,

Casey lost an earring.

We can't find it.

And it's hellish.

Well, I got a flashlight in my office, so that'll help. Oh, there it is. I got

it. No, I got it. I got it.

Hey, listen.

What are you doing back here? We thought you were in Boston looking for towels.

No, they weren't ready.

What do you mean, they weren't ready?

It's just a misunderstanding. It's not even worth talking about. Not worth

talking about?

I mean, they're your towels.

Sister and brother-in-law's towels.

My brother and sister-in-law's towels. My friend's towels. My good friend's

towels. We want to hear the whole story. Well, I will tell you, son. No, no, no,

no, no. We want to hear it right now. While it's still fresh.

Yeah, we don't want to miss any of the colorful details.

Well, actually, it's a very interesting story.

Did you know the terrycloth comes in four different weights?

Four weeks, get out. I couldn't believe it either.

You're a remarkable woman, Helen. You'd waited for me all this time.

Oh, I'm not that remarkable.

Davis, dear Davis, sometimes in life, things happen. Yes, they do.

Things happen that we don't plan.

Exactly.

I am sorry. Helen, I can't marry you.

You can't.

Marry me.

I know this is a shock, but I've met someone else.

You can't marry me?

No. In fact, this woman and I, well, we're engaged.

You can't marry me?

Helen, we need to get past that part. Wasn't it the thotomy that kept you

alive all those months? Well, it did for the first couple of weeks, and then I

met Caroline.

Well, that's for damn sure.

So who's the bimbo?

She's a cultural attache for the State Department.

She risked her life crawling through sniper-infested jungles just to secure

my release.

There's always someone better, isn't there?

Doesn't this ring mean anything to you?

Right, the ring.

Look, this is embarrassing, but I'm going to have to ask for that back.

Fine, take it. I don't want it anyway.

I'm stuck.

Well, here, let me help. Help? My God, haven't you done enough?

So, instead of having Big H, Little J, Little H, they had Big J, Little H,

Little H. That's outrageous!

Of all the incompetence.

Well, I guess it's time to fade to music. Where's Helen? Well, she's not in

the office, that's for sure. Yeah, she's in the kitchen.

Relax,

Davis, I'll get it off.

Just go in the kitchen and get some butter. No, no, no, you can't go in

there. Why not?

Anybody?

Well, because we, we, we spilled a cup of joe in there.

That's right.

While we were eating sloppy joes in there.

Oh, Davis, there's no need to hold you up. I'll just get the butter, slide this

baby off, and pop it in the mail. Hey, hey, hey, Helen, you don't just pop a 6

.5 carat diamond in the mail.

All right.

Wait. Roy, come here.

Have a nice life. Goodbye. I understand

how you feel, Helen.

Come out. She's not in the kitchen.

Oh, Helen. Hi, honey.

Listen, I've got some really bad news.

Oh? It's about the towels.

Helen, I just can't let it drop like this. Lynch, Hackett?

What are you doing here? I came here to see Helen.

Uh, why would you come to see Helen? Well, actually, that's between me and

her. Well, actually, no, it's not. She's my wife, so... Your wife?

Helen, what's going on here?

Yeah, Helen, what is going on here?